Chapter Text
Master Rae paced back and forth near the entryway as she waited for the carriage to arrive. She fixed the position of her tie for the umpteenth time as the tails of her coat and flower petals trailed behind her. The rose bouquet she was holding was being trashed around on top of being held too tightly. I was worried that if she were to wait a few minutes longer, there wouldn't be much left to show her date.
Yes, her... date. Rae had been on a number of dates at the behest of her mother. Ever the socialite, Countess Mel had coordinated a number of meetings with various noblemen she had met throughout the year. None of them had particularly interested Rae but not for a reason either of us could have predicted. She was attracted to women exclusively. In hindsight, this should've been somewhat obvious given her proclivity for wearing suits and utter disinterest in anything feminine that wasn't other women. Even her insistence on being called 'Master Rae' had struck me as odd when I had first started working as her personal maid a few months ago.
Since Rae's confession almost two months ago at a dinner with her mother, Countess Mel of Euclid, had ceased insisting Rae should find a husband. For those few weeks, my master seemed unburdened in a way I hadn't seen her before. She no longer buried herself in work to avoid leaving the manor, engaged in hobbies I never knew she had, and visited friends I hadn't seen in what felt like ages. It was as if the mere thought of a man in her life stifled her very existence.
Her peace didn't last long, though. Earlier today, the Countess all but ran through the halls to find my master. Rose bouquet in hand, she urged Rae to get ready to go on yet another date. Before Rae could protest, the Countess said that she had managed to find a noblewoman who would be interested in Rae. This perplexed us both but neither of us was in a position to protest, least of all myself.
And so I helped Master Rae get ready, as I had done countless times before. Except unlike the previous times we had done this, she looked tense. Nervous, even. It made sense if you thought about it rationally; she's going on what she considers a real date, one she could potentially enjoy, she says. The nervous excitement carried her through the day as she blathered on and on, a lopsided grin on her face.
My master had come to life in a way I seldom seen. The first time I had seen her act this way was a couple of weeks ago when I found her in the kitchen in the middle of the night. She looked at me like a kid who had gotten caught but quickly recovered, ushering me in. Rae showed me the new baked treats she had been working on, and there were quite a few of them. Throughout the night, she continued to surprise me as she regaled me with stories and snacks.
It was a wonderful sight, really. As much as I hated to admit it, her energy as she showed me how to make new things that night was infectious and I got swept up in her antics. She looked comically excited to see me try to make some for myself and remained warm when I made mistakes. Many a mistress had rejected me for my lack of skill in the kitchen but she didn't mind, instead jesting that she'd cook for the both of us. For just that moment, it didn't seem like we were master and maid but something else.
While she was always kind to me, there was something different about the way she treated me now. Perhaps it was due to the circumstances around her changing but it felt like she talked to me more, and not just when she needed things. She listens to me, too, although I do try to maintain a professional distance. Rae had become more vibrant overall so I tried not to read into it as much. But even as I say that, I must admit that I had let myself indulge in our moments alone.
Still, one would have to be daft to be unable to notice the gentle attentiveness she displayed towards me. I had caught her looking my way numerous times, even when I was not in her direct line of sight. In fact, it seemed to be happening more and more as the days went on. The look in her eyes was hard to decipher, though. While I could see longing and possibly even lust, there was also a darkness I couldn't understand swirling within her. Guilt, perhaps? Embarrassment? Torment? I simply could not tell.
I didn't want her to stop looking at me, though. In fact, I wanted her to be unashamed and rid her of whatever shadows clouded her heart. I had come to realize this less than a fortnight ago. But it's also then that it occurred to me that whatever we felt for each other, what we did in the dark hours of the night, can never progress. And yet that truth is not enough to eclipse my growing feelings for my master. Perhaps she knew this, too. It would explain why she acts so hesitant around me, despite her obvious attraction.
Even now, when waiting to go on a date with another woman, she keeps looking my way. Those eyes, her eyes, followed me everywhere I went. I even saw them in the lost hours of the night, under me as...
I was taught to always be devoted to my mistress no matter what outcomes their choices may have had. That service must be given without the expectation of any sort of return. Yet in spite of serving numerous masters for years, I felt strange emotions well up in me at the idea of seeing another woman by Rae's side. Worse still, I knew what these feelings were and could never act on their compulsions.
I closed my eyes and bit my tongue, willing myself to stand to the side as she would soon embark to find her happiness. Even if she couldn't be mine, I'd still be in her life, and that is enough consolation.
When I opened my eyes, I was startled by how close Rae was to me.
"Claire, are you okay?" It was a simple question. One I'd been trained to answer positively regardless of how I truly felt. But something about Rae and her tone of voice compelled me to answer honestly.
"No." My answer was curt, incorrect. I should be terrified of the punishment I'd receive for making her tardy, but my fear of losing her to another woman drove me in that moment.
As Rae, my master, dared to fret over her maid, I felt my heart swell with affection. Beyond her monocle, I could see her eyebrows crease with worry. Even though I was of a lower social status than her, she didn't treat me any less human. Even though I was cold and scolded her often to keep her in line with what a noble should be, she didn't rebuke me nor cower. In fact, I recall a handful of times when her eyes seemed to blaze even more than usual when she was on the receiving end of harsh words.
I stop her before she can worry herself over me more, and thank her. "Rather, I am dismayed that you're going on yet another date, Master."
She took a step back and flashed me a dazzling smile. "You need not be afraid, Claire. Evidently, I am eager to meet the maiden."
"I'm ashamed to admit the cause of my anguish is far more hoggish than that." Rae looked at me perplexed by my words. Perhaps she has not noticed. I must be more transparent, then. "I am aware that you are eager, fervent, even, but I'm not completely sold, Master."
"Why is that?"
"Because you keep looking at me and you're very easy to read, Master Rae." This seemed to have caught her off guard. Her face flushed, slowly backing up even more. "Pardon my assumptions but I was under the impression that you fancied me."
Almost immediately, she began to prattle about how she was just being a respectable human being but it would take more than that to deceive me. She tried to flee from the conversation but I wasn't going to let her run from me or her feelings that easily.
"Turn around and face me," I commanded in the harshest tone I could muster, one that brooked no argument. In an instant, she pivoted to face me. "Sit." Rae hesitated, perhaps contemplating if she should sit on any nearby furniture or take me literally, but she quickly settled on the floor, bouquet on her lap.
I lowered myself in front of her carefully. "Stolen glances, I could ignore but you've done so much more than that. Master Rae, it is nigh impossible to erase months of you favoring me over others and insisting I stay by your side no matter what. And that's to say nothing of how you treat me when it's just the two of us."
She was rendered speechless when confronted and instead averted her eyes. I reached beyond her and held the back of her head, forcing her to look at me again. In order to do so, I encroached on her space, half straddling her. Rae had unfurled her legs and shuffled backwards in her attempted escape but she ended up backing herself into a pillar with her. She was effectively sandwiched now and wouldn't be able to get up until I got off her.
"And yet in spite of that, you've remained completely oblivious to my advances," I sigh. "Every rose has its thorns and you have a weakness: me." She gulps, the blush extending up to her ears and down her neck. "You're incredibly intelligent, Master, but you also need to learn to see what's right in front of you." I trail her free hand up her leg, reveling in the way she shuddered at my touch. I knew she would - I'd imagined her doing so before.
Between the heat coming off her face and my admittedly labored breathing, her monocle began to fog up. Chuckling, I bit the bridge and pulled it off her face.
"Claire?" She asked softly. Though she looked almost bewildered, she also seemed to have lost some of whatever darkness was shackling her. Good, I thought.
"Master Rae? Claire?" Another voice called out, almost aghast. "The carriage is here and... Do you want us to leave?"
Rae blinked and quickly composed herself. "No, that would tarnish my image further and distress the poor lass awaiting my arrival." She grabbed her monocle from between my teeth, her eyes lingering on my lips. "Ready the horses. We'll be off soon."
To have the audacity to act on my delusions like that... Who did I think I was?
Thoroughly mortified, I hurriedly got off my master and tried to leave. Before I could even take a single step, Rae grabbed my arm and tugged lightly. "Claire?" I stopped and turned to face her but I kept my head lowered. I wouldn't dare meet her eyes after my caper.
"Completely understandable. However, I think we scandalized them more," she said lowly, suppressing a laugh. She recovers from situations quickly and it's one of the many things I admire about her. She lets go of my arm and begins straightening her ensemble, starting with her tie. "I am still obligated to go but I will return to you, that I can guarantee." Flustered, I finally met her eyes to confirm if it was a spoof. It wasn't. Her eyes were sincere with a warmth that touched my soul. "You weren't wrong in your assumption that I fancied you, to use your words. I do, and I will try my hardest to show you the true depths of my emotions now that I know you feel the same."
A small smile grows on my face despite my shameful presentation moments ago. "I'm already aware but you're welcome to show me more. I'll be waiting and you'd better impress me."
"Yes, ma'am!" She exclaims, a wide grin on her face.
"And just who are you calling ma'am, Master Rae?" I tease, my voice taking on a sultry tone. She struggles for a moment, causing me to snicker. "Now go, before you end up even more tardy than you already are. And buy more new flowers on your way there."