Chapter Text
Ed was hiking. Well, he was walking. Slowly. In nature. For his stupid mental health. It had all started on New Year’s Eve when he decided, in a fit of middle-aged introspective angst, to actually make a resolution to practice better self-care in the coming year. Ed was as shocked as anyone that he had, for the most part, followed through, though with varying degrees of success. Over the past several months, he’d tried journaling, meditation, and the less said about Soul Cycle, the better. No one riding a bike to nowhere had any right to be that damn peppy as far as Ed was concerned. So the latest endeavor involved hiking, alone, on a lovely summer day. He’d started out on the trail in the late morning because no matter how much self-improvement Ed attempted, early rising would never be part of the equation.
Ed was a creature of the night, had been since college, and probably always would be. He did his best (though that word was probably subjective, given he was an artist and used to living at the mercy of others’ opinions) work in those wee small hours when the hubbub of the city had finally gone quiet but dawn had not yet arrived. He’d been living that way for decades, and it was finally taking a toll on him. He had achieved some notoriety and then fame throughout his twenties and thirties, but felt that he’d been on a treadmill once those early works sold well enough to provide a financial security he never expected to find with his art. He was encouraged (or perhaps…cajoled? coerced?) to produce more of the same, even though the personal vision he had for his work had started to shift. His agent, Izzy, knew all the buttons to push and strings to pull to get Ed to bring in top dollar at a gallery, but at what cost to his own sense of self expression? Ed had been thinking about that more and more lately, and so while he continued to churn out the type of work that had made his name, he had embarked on a journey to figure out who the hell he was and grasp at a semblance of control over some aspect of his life.
So, anyway, here he was, the sun looming higher in the sky, and Ed was ready to be back at home with his beloved central AC. However, he was just past the halfway point of the trail that looped around the park, so all he could offer himself at the moment was a bit of a break. He spotted a large, flat boulder that looked like an inviting spot for a rest. He took off his backpack and tossed it in the direction of the boulder. Unfortunately, he misjudged the distance and perhaps his own frustration, and down it went, tumbling over the ledge on that side of the trail. Great, he thought, as he watched it go over. Now he’d have to scramble down there to retrieve it.
“Oof!” came a voice from below.
“Hello?” Ed called out, placing his palms on the large boulder to peer over the ledge.
“I’m alright!” the bright voice called back.
“Uh, that’s good. Did my bag hit you?”
“Yes, but I’ve got it. Don’t worry!”
“Not worried about the bag, mate. More worried about you. What are you doin’ down there? Are you stuck?”
“Oh not to worry, I’m alright! Won’t be a moment!”
Before Ed knew it, a head of golden blonde hair appeared over the ledge. Then he watched as an absolute brickhouse of a man hauled himself up, his own pack on his back and Ed’s strapped to his front.
Ed realized he had been so entranced by the stranger’s flexing biceps that he hadn’t even bothered to offer a hand. He watched as the man pulled himself to standing, and Ed knew he was well and truly fucked. He took in the sight of the teal polo that was working hard to contain those biceps, khaki shorts with far more pockets than were strictly necessary, and LEGS. Then he pulled his eyes back up to the stranger’s face. He had a dimple that Ed had the inexplicable urge to stick his tongue in and eyes that were a color Ed didn’t think could be recreated if you gave him free run of an entire art supply store. Hazel would have to do. He was dusting himself off, completely unaware of the effect he was having on Ed. Oh there you are, I’ve been waiting for you, Ed’s brain weirdly supplied.
“Ah, I believe this belongs to you!” He removed Ed’s backpack from his (broad, solid) chest and held it out.
Ed stared.
The man stared back.
“Um, this…this is yours, isn’t it?” He looked around as if there was some other idiot around who had tossed his pack over a ledge. Being the only idiot in the vicinity, Ed realized he should say something.
“Uh, yeah, cheers, mate,” Ed said, reaching out to take his pack. “Sorry ‘bout that.”
“No harm done! Glad I could be of help…” he trailed off with a question in his tone and his hand extended.
His name. He wanted Ed’s name. Ed knew his name.
“Ed. ‘m Ed.” He shook the stranger’s hand.
“Lovely to meet you Ed! I’m Stede. Not like the horse, like Steve with a D.” He grinned.
Ed was going to die in this forest. What a way to go.
“Stede.”
“That’s right.”
Ed realized he was still clasping the man’s hand. He reluctantly let go and the two of them stood there on the trail, birdsong filling the silence.
“Well, I suppose I should be off.”
“Wait!” Ed cried. He didn't have a plan here, only the objective of spending a few more minutes in Stede’s company. His mind raced and landed on—“Granola bars!”
Stede cocked his head to the side.
“I, uh, was gonna rest here and have a snack and I figure I owe you, ya know, for helpin’ me out.”
“Oh, well that would be lovely, Ed! I am a bit peckish.”
The two settled themselves side by side on the boulder. Ed unzipped the front pouch of his backpack and realized he had exactly one granola bar. He unwrapped it and broke it in half.
“Uh, forgot I only packed the one.”
“Oh that’s no problem, Ed,” Stede said, beginning to dig in his own pack. “I can contribute something as well!” He produced a plastic baggie of goldfish crackers.
“Ah, fuckin’ love goldfish!” Ed exclaimed with glee.
Stede settled the baggie between them and took the half of granola bar Ed held out to him. He touched his half with Ed’s, miming the clinking of glasses. “Bon appetit!”
The two munched on their snacks in silence for a moment while Ed gathered his wits, most of which had fucked right off.
“So, what were you doing down there, mate?”
“Oh! I was placing my latest geocache!”
“Your what?” Ed asked, after a moment (several moments, okay?) of taking in Stede’s beaming face.
“A geocache!” Stede took out his phone and pulled up an app to show Ed. “It’s like a modern day treasure hunt! People hide them in all sorts of odd places.”
“And, uh, then what?”
Stede looked at him quizzically. “And then…you…find them?”
“Yeah, but then what?”
“Well, oftentimes there’s a bit of paper or something where you can leave your name as a record you’ve been there. Or there might be a small trinket or something.”
“And you get to keep it?”
“I suppose so, but etiquette says if you take something from a cache, you should leave something of equal or greater value in its place. I tend to do more leaving than taking,” Stede said.
“So it’s a treasure hunt, but you also have to provide the treasure. Fuckin’ mental.” Ed tossed a few goldfish in his mouth.
“Never thought about it that way. I suppose so. But it is great fun, and the children really do love it.”
Ed choked on his goldfish. He reached for his water bottle as Stede patted him on the back.
“Are you alright, Ed?”
Ed coughed a bit. “Yeah. So, children in general love them, or…”
“I can’t speak for all children, but mine sure do!”
Ed eyed the baggie of goldfish like they had betrayed him. Now he saw them for what they were--snacks that of course a dad would carry. Ed hadn’t expected to meet anyone while he was out communing with nature, but he couldn’t ignore how his heart had raced when he saw Stede climb up over that ledge. Now he could clearly see the completely DILF-y vibe about the man. Problem was, DILFs always came with children (not that Ed really minded kids, but DILFs also tended to come rather annoyingly paired up with wives or husbands). Shit, it was time for Ed to say something again. “So, you’ve got kids.”
“Yes?” Stede was probably wondering if perhaps the heat wasn’t getting to Ed. “Two, Alma and Louis. They’re rather difficult to keep entertained, but so far geocaching seems to be working.”
“Mmm.” Ed took another sip of water.
“Since the divorce, I’ve been trying so hard to be more involved and find things for us to do that are, you know, just for us. Something special,” Stede sighed.
Divorce! Ed’s eyes widened as they flew to Stede’s left hand. No ring. Rookie mistake, that. Ed knew to always look for a ring. He’d just been distracted by Stede’s…everything. He was back in the game. He probably shouldn't look so happy about that. He downgraded his dopey grin about sixty percent into something more akin to a pleasant smile.
“That’s really lovely, Stede. ‘m sure they love that.”
Stede’s face lit up. “Oh, I do hope so, Ed! They’ve become quite good at it. It’s getting harder to challenge them, so that’s why I’ve taken to hiding some of my own for them. I was burying one at the base of a tree when your pack fell on me.”
Ed lifted his head to meet Stede’s eyes. What he found there was kindness and…familiarity? Something was tickling in his brain but he couldn’t place it.
“Like a real pirate, they were always buryin’ stuff at the base of trees.” The words left his mouth without his tickly brain’s permission. That was kind of a dickish thing to say, he reprimanded himself.
Stede bumped Ed’s shoulder with his. “Oh come on now, don’t patronize me.” He laughed.
“Never! ‘s a great hidin’ spot. ‘m sure they’ll love diggin’ it up.”
“I guess I’ll find out next weekend when they’re with me.”
Silence fell between them again. Stede cleared his throat. “Well, thank you for sharing your granola bar, Ed. I suppose it’s time to be moving on.” He didn’t move.
Ed crumpled the granola bar wrapper and placed it back in his bag. This bought him a few seconds to come up with his next tactic.
“Say, what’s the name of that app again? Maybe I’d like all this hikin’ shit more if I had somethin’ like that to keep me entertained?”
“Well there are several, but you can’t go wrong with the one I use. It’s called Geocaching. Not a terribly clever name, but it gets the job done!”
Ed pulled up his app store and clicked around to download the app.
“And uh, any tips for a first-timer?”
Stede’s face lit up. “Oh, I could probably bore you to tears with all I’ve learned since I started. But I find the best way to learn is by doing. Just get out in the field and let your body take over. In fact, why don’t--” Stede stopped himself.
“Why don’t I what, mate?”
“Oh you’re probably not interested, but…I was going to look for another that’s on the way out of the park. I don’t suppose…I don’t suppose you’d be interested in joining me?”
Ed stood up. “No, that sounds fun! Lead the way!”
Stede smiled at him and pulled himself up off the boulder. “Great!” A flock of birds took off from the trees. “I mean, yes, let’s go!”
***
Ed and Stede continued following the trail, phones out so Stede could teach him how to use the app. As they walked, Stede pointed out what he referred to as “insane foliage” and Ed kept falling. Not literally, but he was definitely completely enthralled by the strange, enthusiastic man at his side. He was intelligent, charming, and a bit of bitch (though it was warranted whenever he found a piece of trash on the trail that he put in his own bag to properly dispose of later). There wasn’t a single lull in the conversation, save for one moment when Stede bent over to adjust his socks and Ed completely bluescreened.
Eventually, they came to a wooden bridge spanning over a small brook. Stede stopped dead in his tracks, eyes fixed to his phone. “Ah ha! I think we’re close, Ed! Read the hints and let’s see if you can find it!”
Ed looked at his own phone and saw that Stede was right. There was a cache somewhere close by. He read the hint aloud. “Tie your shoe, and mind the attractive troll.” He stared at his screen. “The fuck does that mean?”
“The hints are just meant to nudge you in the right direction. Now, if you were to tie your shoe, you would be…”
“I’d be bent down.”
“Right!”
Ed knelt down as if to tie his shoes.
“I don’t see any trolls, mate, attractive or otherwise.”
“Ah, but where do trolls like to hang out?”
Ed thought for a second. “Under a bridge?”
“Yes!”
Ed lowered himself over the side of the bridge to look underneath. Nothing.
“Perhaps try the other side?” Stede suggested.
Ed moved to the other side of the bridge and dangled the upper half of his body over the side. There! Just to his left, he spotted something. He scooted over until he could reach it. It was a small metal box, slightly rusted, a bit beaten and battered. It was held in place with a magnet. Of course! The metal was attracted to the magnet. Ed pulled himself up, prize in hand. He carefully opened the lid and found…
“It’s a rock.” A brown, dusty old rock was all Ed got for his troubles. He tried not to let that metaphor smack him too hard in the face.
“Oh my, that’s a bit disappointing, eh? Here, let’s have a look,” Stede gently pried the box from Ed’s hands.
“Man, figures I’d find something so shit.” Ed placed his forearms on the railing of the bridge and tried his best not to pout. He was not succeeding. He turned to look at Stede who was pouring some water over the rock.
“Oh, now I don’t know about that, Ed. Here, look.” He held the dampened rock back out toward Ed.
With the dust and dirt washed away, Ed could see the rock was in fact orange-y colored and a bit sparkly. “Oh. Wow,” he whispered, as he turned it over in his hands.
“I think that’s orange calcite, if I’m not mistaken.” Stede had placed his bag on the ground and was rummaging through. “You should have it.”
“Nah, that’s alright. I don’t have anything to replace it with.”
“I do!” Stede had produced a pen and a small bit of paper torn from a notebook, and he was taking something off the front of his bag. “Here, it looks like this cache needs a new log. Sign your name and we’ll leave this inside.” He held out his open palm, revealing an enamel pin of Bigfoot that said “I believe in myself”.
Ed laughed. “You sure, mate? Hate for you to have to part with that.”
“Quite sure! I have loads of cryptid pins like this and it’s no trouble to find another. Go on, then, sign your name.”
Ed wrote out his name and put the date next to it. He carefully folded the paper and placed it in the tin, with the enamel pin on top. He closed the lid and handed the box back to Stede, who placed it back in its hiding spot.
“Well then, how does it feel to have your first successful geocache under your belt?” Stede asked, as they continued across the bridge.
“Feels good, mate,” Ed smiled. He tossed the rock up and caught it. “Think this might be my new favorite thing.”
Stede grinned at him and Ed felt his chest go all fluttery for about the fiftieth time that day.
***
When they finished the trail loop and reached the car park, they discovered that they had parked just a couple spaces apart from each other. They placed their bags in their respective trunks and closed them. Ed leaned against the back of his car. “So, this was really nice, Stede. Thank you for showin’ me how to…uh, geocache.”
“It was my pleasure, Ed. I hope this is the start of a new hobby for you!”
“Mmm, maybe,” Ed’s eyes wandered to the small rainbow flag affixed to Stede’s rear window. Fuck it, now or never. “Might be more fun with a friend though.” He lifted his eyes to Stede’s.
Stede blushed and cleared his throat. “Um, yes, well, if you ever wanted company on one of your geocaching adventures, I’d be happy to oblige. Should we, uh--”
“--exchange numbers?” they said in unison.
“Ha, we said the same thing,” Stede chuckled, handing over his phone as Ed did the same. They swapped back after inputting their contact details.
Stede looked at his phone, looked at Ed, then looked at his phone again.
“Everythin’ alright?” Ed asked.
Stede gulped. “You’re…you’re Ed Teach? Is that…Edward Teach?”
“Yeah…” Ed raised a brow.
“Is this yours?” Stede swiped through his phone and then held it out. There on the screen was a photo of a painting hung over a fireplace mantle. It was one Ed instantly remembered, though he had done it years ago. It was of a ship, beset on all sides by storm clouds and violent waves. It was from what Izzy had referred to, decidedly unaffectionately, as his “wet sad sack” period.
“Um, yeah, that’s mine. How do you know it?”
“Ed, it’s hanging in my living room.”
“Fuck off!”
“It’s true! It came up for sale at my ex-wife’s fiance’s gallery a few years back. I was so entranced with it, I had to have it.”
Ed blew out a breath. “Never had anythin’ from that period called entrancin’ before. Sad. Depressin’. Hopeless. Not fuckin’ entrancin’.”
“What’s depressing about it?”
“Mate, look at it.”
Stede looked at the image on his phone, his eyes soft and fond. “I see strength and fortitude in the face of adversity. Look at this ship, Ed. It may be caught in the storm, but it’s upright and sailing on regardless.”
Ed blinked as tears threatened to fall from his eyes. “You see that?”
“Yes,” Stede let out a quiet breath. “I know you’re the artist, I won’t argue with your intent. But this painting…well, it inspires me. It…it comforted me when I was in the midst of my own storm--coming out, the divorce. My god, Ed, how can this be real? I found you in a bloody forest!”
For all the racing Ed’s brain had done that day, now it was completely still and quiet. There was just one thought fighting its way to the surface, and Ed knew he had to say it no matter how weird it sounded. “I think…I think maybe it’s…fate?”
“Fate,” Stede whispered.
“Stede, all day I’ve been thinkin’ I know you. Not like ‘know you’ because I would have remembered ever meetin’ you before today, but…I dunno…it feels like we were meant to find each other.”
Stede stared at him.
“That’s weird, right? I’ve made this weird. I’ll just..um, I’ll just go.” Ed made a move toward the driver side of his car. All of a sudden he felt a hand gently gripping his arm.
“No, wait. This is all indeed very…weird, as you put it. But…I agree. When I first saw you, I thought…oh bugger it, I thought--
“Oh, there you are,” they said in unison.
They stared into each other’s eyes. Finally, Stede removed his hand from Ed’s arm. “Ed, would you like to join me for dinner?”
“Yes. Yup, ‘d like that very much, Stede. But, uh, think I might need a shower and change of clothes first.”
“Yes, me too. I could text you a place to meet, if that’s alright.”
“Sounds perfect.”
They lingered for another minute, just gazing into each other’s eyes, before realizing that they couldn’t get to dinner if they never left the car park. Stede gave a wave from his car as he backed out. Ed leaned his forehead against the steering wheel. What were the odds? Seriously, he wanted someone to do the math and tell him the odds that the most gorgeous man he’d ever met had his artwork hanging in his living room. And not one of his big, splashy, renowned works. One of his most deeply personal and frustratingly overlooked works, and what’s more, the man got it . He understood everything Ed had tried to communicate in that painting, everything that everyone else had missed. The math this situation required probably didn’t even exist. Ed lifted his head and started the car. It seemed he had a date with destiny.
***
SIX MONTHS LATER.
“Babe, relax. ‘s all perfect.”
“It is not all perfect, Edward! Look at the state of these canapes!”
Ed sidled up behind Stede at the kitchen island and wrapped his arms around his waist. He pressed a kiss to his neck, at just the spot he knew made Stede go all gooey inside. He looked at the tray of appetizers Stede had arranged. “They look fine, love. I don’t think this is about the canapes.”
Stede leaned back against Ed’s chest. “It’s not about the canapes.”
“Then what is it, hmm?”
“I just want tonight to be perfect. This is very big, what we’re doing, and I just want it to go well.”
“Stede, babe, light of my life,” Ed pressed another kiss to his neck. “We’re jus’ tellin’ our best friends we’ve gotten engaged. What’s to worry about?”
“After six months. What if they think we’re crazy?”
“Do you think we’re crazy?”
Stede shuffled to turn around and looped his arms around Ed’s neck. “No. The only crazy I am is about you.” He gave Ed a kiss and pressed their foreheads together.
“And canapes.”
Stede gave him a playful swat on the shoulder.
“Besides,” Ed said. “The real test was with the kids yesterday afternoon, and that went fuckin’ great.”
“That’s true. I still can’t believe you popped the question with a geocache.”
“Mm, that one’s really on you, babe. You got me hooked.”
“It was so thoughtful of you to include the children in it. I know it meant a great deal to them.”
“See? That’s what I’m sayin’. I’m way more afraid of Alma than I am Lucius, and she was thrilled.”
Stede stared at him.
“I am afraid of Lucius in a different way than I am of Alma,” Ed conceded, rolling his eyes. He leaned in for a kiss.
The doorbell rang. Ed reluctantly broke away from Stede. “I’ll get that. You…do whatever you’re goin’ to do with these fuckin’ canapes.”
Ed opened the door to find Lucius and his boyfriend Pete standing on the porch, champagne bottles in every hand. “Happy New Years, bitches!” Lucius swept past him and headed toward the kitchen. “What kind of crisis is he having?”
Ed chuckled, closing the door behind them. “A canape related one. See what you can do, Lucius.”
“On it!” Lucius called as he entered the kitchen.
This left Pete and Ed standing in the living room. Ed liked Pete well enough, but it was sometimes a bit unnerving the way the man stared at him in awe. Ed was just Ed, but Pete knew all of his work from way back and had a tendency to be a bit of a fanboy about it all.
“Working on anything new, Ed?” Pete asked, as Ed took the champagne bottles he was holding and placed them on the bar cart in the living room.
“Not really at the moment. Takin’ a bit of a break while I figure out what’s next.”
Pete seemed disappointed.
“But, I did pull out some old canvases out of storage that I never quite finished. Wanna see?”
“Yeah, man, I’d be honored!”
Ed led Pete to the spare room that Stede had cleared out and designated as Ed’s studio when he had moved in three months ago. While Pete occupied himself flipping through Ed’s old work, Ed continued to play doorman as the rest of their guests arrived. Soon enough, their New Year’s party was in full swing. Ed was sitting in Stede’s lap on the sofa when the doorbell rang a few hours later.
“Oh, that must be Roach!” Stede said. “He’s the only one missing. I wonder what’s held him up.”
Ed stood up. “I’ll let him in.”
“Thank you, darling.” Stede turned his attention back to whatever wild tale Lucius had been in the middle of telling.
Ed opened the door to find their very frazzled friend on the other side. He shoved a white box in Ed’s hands. “This is the last time I do any favors for Stede. Thirty oranges for the glaze plus another ten for the cake itself. That boyfriend of yours is a complete maniac.”
“Yeah,” Ed sighed dreamily. “He is. Thanks for the cake, Roach. Can I get you a drink?”
“A double.”
“A double of what?”
“Whatever.”
Ed led Roach into the kitchen and pointed him toward the drinks while he peeked inside the box at the lovely orange cake Stede had commissioned.
“Ohh, that does look scrumptious.” Stede had appeared at Ed’s side. “Edward, darling, it’s getting close to midnight. Should we…?”
“Yeah, babe, right behind ya.”
Ed and Stede entered the living room. Stede tapped on the side of his champagne glass with a cheese knife from a nearby tray. Everyone kept talking.
“Oi!” yelled Ed. Everyone stopped. John, who had been taking a turn as DJ, turned down the music. Lucius narrowed his eyes and took a sip from his glass. Ed cleared his throat and began speaking. “So, Stede and I have somethin’ to tell you lot.” He wrapped an arm around Stede’s waist and pulled him close. “Go ahead, babe.”
Stede reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring Ed had hidden for him to find in a geocache the previous day. He slipped it on his finger and held up his hand. “We’re engaged!”
Silence. And then…groans?
“Alright, pay up!” cried Lucius. “I knew they couldn’t make it to the new year!” He cackled. Ed and Stede watched, mouths agape, as Lucius went around the room collecting money from all their friends.
“Lucius!” cried Stede. “What is the meaning of this?!”
“‘Oh Lucius, it just seems like it’s meant to be.’ ‘Oh Lucius, don’t you think it means something that I bought his painting?’ ‘Oh Lucius, I’m down so bad for him’.”
“Come on now, I never said that last bit!” Stede was getting flustered, which, honestly, was one of Ed’s favorite versions of Stede.
“You didn’t have to, babe,” Lucius replied, licking his thumb and fanning out the bills he’d collected. “I knew this was happening from day one. Congrats, by the way!” He raised his glass and looked around the room. “Right, guys?”
The entire room erupted into cheers and congratulations and hugs for Ed and Stede. Even Izzy slunk out of the corner he’d hunkered down in to shake Ed’s hand and give Stede a begrudging pat on the shoulder.
“Alright, alright,” Stede held up his hand. “We appreciate your support. But the countdown to the new year is imminent and there’s cake and champers for all. Please make your way to the kitchen. Quickly now!”
God, Ed loved it when the D in his DILF-y fiance came out in full force.
“Let’s hope this one actually tastes of oranges,” Stede mumbled so only Ed could hear. Ed pressed a kiss to his temple. He could not wait to marry this man.
Everyone reassembled in the living room, cake and champagne in hand as they turned on the television to watch the countdown in Times Square.
10
“Stede.”
9
“Yes, darling?”
8
“I jus’ wanna say…”
7
“I love you.”
6
“And I love you, darling.”
5
“Not just in this lifetime…”
4
“But in all of them.”
3
“Edward.”
2
“Stede.”
1
“Happy New Year,” they said in unison. Ed wrapped himself around Stede and gave him a kiss for the ages. It wasn’t their first, it most certainly wouldn’t be their last, but it was the kiss that marked the beginning of something wonderful. In this lifetime, and all the rest.