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Aaron Hotchner felt his stress level rise parallel to the time passing. Time he didn't necessarily have. Breathing out slowly, he hummed into the phone, knowing he sounded as desperate as he felt.
"Don't worry," he breathed, very much worrying, "Get better soon, and let me know if you need anything."
His son looked up at him, furrowing his brows just like Hotch always did.
"Is Hannah sick?"
Hotch, letting the phone sink down, nodded and rubbed his face. "She has the flu."
As always, his job had terrible timing. But usually, someone was able to jump in, and help, just not today. He had to go back to the office, and taking Jack was no option. On top of that, he had to be quick. Strauss had been adamant about involving him, whatever it was. She hadn't been too clear but had mumbled something along the lines of highly confidential. Not something he needed on a Thursday night with no support. A name sounded through the busy thoughts of his head and he looked at his son. Jack had raised his brows at him, wiggling the tiny stuffed dog Alex had given him. Alex. That was precisely the name Jack had said.
"I'm sorry I wasn't listening, Jack," he said, "What did you say about Alex?"
His son chuckled as if he couldn't believe his dad wasn't getting it.
"Maybe Alex could watch me? On Thursdays, she helps Katie with her homework. Katie says they're always home by six because Alex picks her up from orchestra practice."
Hotch blinked a few times at him, his heartbeat picking up slightly. Something he had gotten used to ever since he had met her again a few weeks ago. Alexandria Evans. The woman he wanted to see every day, spend way too many hours thinking about, and still, was very much not his girlfriend. She was already doing so much for him, could he really ask that as well? Guilt crept up on him. How many other options did he have? None, whispered a voice inside his head.
"Alright, I'll ask her," Hotch said, running a hand over his son's hair, "But don't get your hopes up just yet."
Jack only smiled and nodded. Looking at his phone again, he didn't have to look far for her number. By now, it was favourited. Nervousness settled in the pit of his stomach. Hotch told himself it was because he was running out of time, and options. When her voice answered with a soft "hey you", Hotch heard himself breathe out slowly.
"Hey," he said, "How are you?"
He was met with a chuckle.
"The way you sound, I'm probably a lot better than you. What's going on, Aaron?" Alex asked, and he could've kissed her just for how well she read him.
"I have to go back for something to the office and Jessica and my other babysitter are out sick, I was wondering-…"
He didn't even finish the sentence before Alex jumped in.
"If I could take Jack? Absolutely. Katie wants me off her back for history anyway."
A loud "hey" sounded out in the background and he felt himself smile despite his miserable mood.
"That would be amazing. I can probably pick him up later, but I don't know what Strauss wants," he tried explaining, rubbing his face again, "I will tell you as soon as I know what it means for me. Sorry for calling on such short notice."
Alex hummed, and he knew she had just shrugged off his apology.
"Don't even think about it. We have leftover dinner as well if he's still hungry. Just drop him off, and all will be fine."
He breathed out his relief and ruffled Jack's hair. His son wore a big grin and ran off to stuff his favourite book and everything important he could find into his rucksack.
"You're a saint."
Alex chuckled through the phone and he felt warmth spread through him.
"I'm always happy to spend any time with my favourite Hotchner. See you in a bit."
Hotch grinned and hung up. The prospect of seeing Alex, even if it would only be for a short second also had its perks. He was not going to lie.
♥♥♥
When her bell rang, Alex was in the middle of fighting over the unreadable notes her niece had made in history class, rendering both of them completely clueless.
"This conversation is not over," she said, trying for stern. Katie's lip quivered in suppressed laughter and she quickly slapped a hand over her mouth.
"Far from over," it slipped out and Alex couldn't help her own laughter.
"Impossible teenager," the blonde muttered to herself. Opening the door, she gave the two people in front of it a quick smile.
"If it isn't my favourite dog trainer," she said in Jack's direction. The boy beamed up at her and she stepped back to let him into the hallway.
"Katie's in the kitchen, and Brutus is somewhere asleep on the couch. You have to be a little careful with him today, okay? He had an exhausting day."
Jack, who had slipped out of his shoes in record time, nodded diligently before he left the two adults behind. Alex turned back to Hotch, who looked downright miserable. When he didn't move, she stepped out into the mild air and softly closed her own door behind her.
"You have to hurry, I'm assuming?" she asked. When he nodded, the lines on his face harsh against her small door light, Alex couldn't help herself but reach up to softly cup his cheek. Hotch closed his eyes and leaned into her touch.
"Oh Aaron," she heard herself sigh. They moved at the same time, both slowly melting into each other's embrace. When he buried his face in her neck, she ran a hand over his head and felt him breathe in even deeper.
"Take my key," she whispered, "If it's too late to drive back to yours, or you're too tired, stay on the couch. Jack will be fine. I have a late morning tomorrow anyway, you don't need to worry about anything but whatever they need you for, okay?"
Hotch pulled away and wanted to protest, but Alex only shook his head.
"This is not a discussion, those are the terms of me watching Jack," she smirked and could see how he gave up. A small smile spread over his lips.
"Have I told you how thankful I am?" he whispered, his arm still around her waist. Alex had to fight the urge to get on her toes and kiss him.
"I think you called me a saint before," she gave back, letting her eyes slip from his gaze before she would actually do it, "I think you need to go before Strauss shows up here. We don't need her to hate me more than she does."
Slowly, Hotch pulled back, looking downright dissatisfied about it. "She hates everyone."
Alex rolled her eyes. Handing him her keys, she grew serious for a second. "Take care, Aaron. I'm expecting you back here in a few hours in one piece, alright?"
His dark eyes bore into hers one last time before he nodded, squeezed her hand and walked off her porch. For a few seconds, Alex watched Hotch climb into his car and drive off before she felt her heartbeat slow down enough to face two kids. She would rather swallow glass than admit what kind of summersaults her heart was doing every time she found herself in a situation like this. It was ill-advised. And still, she walked back into the house with a small smile playing around her lips.
♥♥♥
Without any protest, both Jack and Katie finished their schoolwork, ate some more food, watched a movie and went to bed. If she hadn't been so glad about it, Alex would've been more suspicious of their good behaviour, but Katie had kept eyeing her as if she had expected something to happen. When asked, the teenager had only said "oh nothing nothing", and after a short silence, had asked, "When is Aaron coming back?". Alex had rolled her eyes and shrugged the question away, and with a grin, her niece had slipped off to bed. "Say hi to him for me" she had hummed through the hall before quickly closing her bedroom door. Jack had already been asleep, thankfully. So Alex found herself stretched out on one half of her couch since she had already extended it for the unlikely case said man would listen to her advise and sleep on it. Her nose buried deep in her book, she missed the first few steps of bare feet on wood. When she heard her name, she looked up to find Jack standing at the bottom of the couch. He was clutching the dog she had gifted him to his chest.
"Can I sleep here?" he asked quietly, "With you?"
Alex felt her heart clench in her chest. She didn't even need to think about it. Patting on the space beside her, she put the book away.
"I'll get your blanket. Do you want me to read you something?"
Jack nodded enthusiastically. "The book is in my rucksack."
Smiling, the blond let him find his spot and made her way towards the other guest room he was sleeping in. It was easy to spot, so Alex took both the book and the blanket with her. Back on the couch, Jack instantly curled into her side, his sleepy eyes on the book. Alex started to read quietly with him by her side. It took about five minutes for his eyes to shut completely. Closing the book as quietly as she could, the blonde smiled down at him and picked up her own again. She would simply carry him back to back, she promised herself, like she had done with Katie so many times. Alex smiled to herself and kept reading.
♥♥♥
Hotch had lost the energy to be angry about the case they had closed in record time. The highly confidential kidnapping of the child of a politician wouldn't have required them in his opinion, but there was nothing he could've done. So he had swallowed his opinions and they had to work. The kid was safe and the Unsub would see a judge in the morning.
"What a Thursday night," JJ mumbled next to him. They had just closed their debriefing and would head home, at least for some sleep.
"If there are not too many open reports, take the Friday. All of you," he said, met with tired smiles, "We need a break."
Emily sipped on her by-now cold coffee. "Will you too?"
Shrugging, he checked his phone for any news on Jack. He had gotten an adorable picture of him and Katie over the course of the night and the message that his son was sound asleep. There was nothing apart from that, and he felt himself relax. He trusted, really trusted Alex, something he hadn't felt in a long time. Hotch felt a layer of stress unravel from him.
"If I don't have too many open reports," he gave back, rubbing his face, "I will at least sleep in."
In his bed, he told himself, however alluring Alex's offer might be. But he feared that if he'd also spent the night, he would overstretch her generosity a little. Or maybe he was just afraid about how it would feel, to be so close to her, in her home. To sleep on the couch he had kissed her on a few weeks ago after he had almost lost her to a psychopath with handcuffs. Hotch remembered how her lips had felt against his, her skin soft under his fingertips. He craved to feel it again, but he couldn't. Hated nothing more than how he had messed them up. Yes, out of pure self-protection, he would go home.
"Let's go then," Rossi said into the round, getting up and shaking him out of his thoughts, "You look like you need some sleep."
Hotch knew it was directed at him more than the others, and he knew his friend and colleague was right.
"I do, but I have to pick up Jack first," he muttered, not really thinking about what he was saying, "He's with Alex."
JJ and Emily halted in their movement and gave him a look under raised brows.
"Is he now," the brunette, suddenly wide awake, drawled, "Interesting."
Hotch couldn't help an eye-roll, but Rossi seemed to have mercy on him today.
"Out with you now, all of you. You can tease your Unit Chief about his love life another day."
Emily and JJ faked a disappointed noise but followed the instruction, while David clapped his shoulder and manoeuvred him out.
"Thanks," Hotch mumbled in his direction. Rossi grinned.
"Oh don't mention it. I just want you to get back to your girl as quickly as possible."
Hotch could neither suppress the groan nor the eye-roll when he left their meeting room.
♥♥♥
As quietly as he could, he slipped into the house. Alex hadn't texted back, so he assumed she had fallen asleep as well. His plan was to somehow maneuver Jack into his car and leave a note that she knew his son hadn't been kidnapped, and to not wake the whole house in the process. Leaving his shoes in the hallway, he hung up his coat. It would definitely be in the way of his plan to carry Jack out.
Hotch stepped into the living room, bathed in the dimmed orange light from the corner next to the TV. For a second, he was confused he could hear the faintest music, just low enough that one would fall asleep to it. He furrowed his brows. The Beatles. The playlist Jack usually requested when he had woken up again in the middle of the night. Hotch checked the clock. 2 am. Late enough for his son to probably have woken up two times. His eyes fell onto the couch and his heart doubled in size. Jack, his favourite blanket over him, had curled up next to Alex, the stuffed dog she had given him pressed tightly to his chest. The left side was prepared for him to sleep on, and she had even laid out sweatpants and an old shirt. The blonde woman, one arm protectively around Jack, was breathing evenly.
Hotch felt himself loosen his tie, his emotions brewing close to the surface. He needed some water, he realized, the sight of everything he wanted to much for him to face right now. So he tiptoed into the kitchen, leaned against the sink and filled himself a glass of water.
"If there is not enough room on the couch, no one sleeps in Aunt Alex's bed," a sleepy voice came from behind. Hotch breathed out slowly, unable to suppress a chuckle.
"I mean…ever," Katie continued, opening the fridge, "Not that she wants me to tell you this."
Hotch turned to her, raising his brow at her. The teenager grabbed the milk, closed the door and gave him an expectant look.
"Thanks for the info," he said, taking a sip of his water, "But my actual plan was to take Jack back tonight. He just doesn't look like he wants to move."
Katie fished a glass from the cupboard above her head and grinned.
"I wouldn't move from that couch either. I still sleep on it next to her, it's just too comfy. Oh, and waking Aunt Alex in the middle of the night would be insane anyway."
The teenager tried to hide the twinkle in her eyes behind drinking, but Hotch couldn't help but wonder if she was following some kind of plan. When he felt himself grin as well, he asked himself if he was insane for going along.
"Why is it a bad idea to wake Alexandria?"
Katie shrugged innocently and washed her glass before putting it next to the sink. "She gets real grumpy. The kind of grumpy she never gets usually. Sleep is holy to her."
That sentiment was something he could understand. He felt his decision to leave crumbling. Oh, who was he kidding? He had changed his mind the second he had seen Jack in her arms.
"Then I guess I shouldn't wake her," he said, rubbing his tired face. Katie, blinking away the triumph in her eyes, nodded towards the living room.
"You must be tired. I'll go back to bed. Night night," she smiled and vanished from the room. Hotch shook his head. Maybe he wouldn't tell Alex about this encounter. Especially not that Katie had basically told him she was not bringing home anyone, ever. The satisfaction he felt about this piece of information was something he stored deep down, blaming his exhausting day for even feeling it.
Hotch pulled his tie over his head and walked back into the living room. Taking the clothes, he made quick business of changing in the next-door bathroom. Cautious to not make a sound, he lowered himself onto the empty side of the couch. He ran a hand over Jack's head, smiling when his son sighed in his sleep. Pulling the blanket over him, something in his heart clicked. It felt right to be here. Pushing the thought into the same corner where all his Alex-related emotions currently resided, he closed his eyes and felt his body and mind relax.
"Sleep well Aaron," a whisper came from the other side of the couch, a hand brushing his arm. Without a second thought, he held onto it and squeezed it softly. He felt Alex sigh and allowed himself to keep the feeling of contentment for a few long seconds in his chest.
"I'm glad you're staying."
He pressed a small kiss to her hand before he let it sink down onto his chest again. Tomorrow. Tomorrow he would control his emotions again, reminding him why he wasn't doing this every night. Tonight, he would allow himself to fall a little deeper into them.
"Me too."