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“Can’t you do it for me, Josie, I’m busy that day,” Lumine drawled, slumped over the war table as Cullen and Leliana exchanged looks.
“I have not told you the day the Winter Ball will take place, Inquisitor,” Josephine replied. The slightest hint of exasperation in her tone, which Lumine was unaware of as she continued to fiddle with the letter opener beside a discarded envelope.
“I’m busy whatever day it is- go in my absence, you are better with nobility than me anyways…” Lumine continued, spinning the small blade between her fingers. The letter that needed the small knife was laid in the middle of the table, and it was the offender of today’s meeting. It held the crest from Gaspard, an invitation to Empress Celene’s ball. Josephine had expressed with much care both the importance and political moves at play with such an invitation.
“Inquisitor you are required to be there, this event calls for your attention and is of utmost importance,” Josephine argued back, pushing the letter in front of Lumine as she did so.
“I'm an elf, Josephine. Please do not tell me that key detail is lost on you,” Lumine grumbled, as Cullen coughed beside her before interjecting.
“And a mage. A mage elf. Going to the Winter Palace.” Lumine nodded vigorously to Cullen’s point, returning the letter to the middle of the table.
“Exactly! Two things nobles hate! I am saved to go about my business and you can take the fancy invitation and work your advisor magic,”
Lumine made to stand, finally resting the blade across the letter as she threw the commander a small smile. She was stopped, however, when her eyes drifted to Josephine, the twitch of her brow and the small frown lines forming around her mouth made her, begrudgingly, sit back down.
“Inquisitor Lavellan, you cannot shirk this duty off to me. As much as I enjoy being the strength in areas like this, I can’t. You must be there.” Josephine stated, her voice clear with clarity that allowed for no argument.
That did not mean Lumine would go along without pouting.
“But- I need my advisor's guidance, how am I supposed to be there alone ? I’d get myself killed, or worse, ruin our reputation,” She whined insistently, standing up again with her hands splayed across the table for dramatic effect. Josephine dutifully scribbled something down with her ink and pen before clearing her throat.
“That is why all of your advisors will be going with you, I will also need to train you in matters of court etiquette… and certainly get a tailor for the event…” As she trailed off she made more hurried notes with her quill as Lumine balked at the prospect of lessons and a seamstress.
“Josie please -” she was cut off with the stern glare given by Leliana as she tapped her finger against the war table just once; a warning and a threat all in one.
“I will send a schedule to your quarters once they are worked out. Thank you for agreeing to this, Inquisitor,” Josephine said. Josephine made for the door, Leliana holding it open for her as they went. Cullen shot her a sad look before patting her back and trailing off after them. As Lumine let her head hit the table in defeat, she could hear the Commander’s voice faintly through the door, asking if he really had to go to the Winter Palace as well.
She had found herself in the tavern that night, drinking her woes into several cups of liquor. Her usual drinking buddies Bull, and the Chargers, found her recent reason for misery delightful.
“Yeah, you’re fucked boss, sorry to say,” Bull laughed clinking his tankard against Lumine’s as she pulled it away with a scowl. She looked down into her mug, the alcohol almost gone for the fifth time that night,
“Shut up, will you? She's going to put me in a dress , how am I even supposed to know how to talk to nobles who hate me for even being there… Maker, what if they think I'm one of the servants ,” Lumine groaned into her empty drink, raising the cup into the air to signal a much-needed refill.
“I don’t know, maybe a fancy outfit will keep that assumption at bay,” Krem, the kind second hand to Bull added. Lumine shot him a small smile as a bar maiden appeared to fill her cup before walking behind Bull, one of her hands trailing his broad shoulders. Bull tracked the maiden with his eyes as she made her rounds to other rowdy tables.
“It’s not fair… you get to stay here and flirt and drink and I’m forced to intermingle with people who want my head on a pike,” Lumine grumbled as she watched the flirtatious display with a frown. She gulped down a good mouthful of liquor before her addled mind came up with a brilliant idea.
If this event was of “utmost” importance, and she was allowed to bring her advisors…
“You know what, Bull? I quite like the idea of you coming with me to the Winter Palace. I will need a bodyguard…” She snickered as she watched Bull choke on his drink. Krem let out a loud laugh before raising his glass, and the rest of the Chargers shouted their agreement.
“Wonderful idea Inquisitor Lavellan, I wholeheartedly approve,” Krem said, his voice loud enough to hear over the excited Chargers. Bull pushed his shoulder hard into Krem, making Krem spill his drink in his lap.
“Hell no, boss you need me here to keep these brats in line,” Bull shot back, which only made her smile turn up into a cat-like grin. If she was forced to sift through the nobles then she was going to be bringing people who would keep her entertained.
“I think I should let Josie know you will also be needing a tailor to come by,” Lumine added, another roar of laughter followed from the Chargers as Bull’s eyes narrowed at her. She gave another delighted giggle, folding her hands underneath her chin as she watched him try to find a way out of this. She had to sweeten the deal somehow , she was nice when it mattered. She held up one finger in front of him, cutting him off before she could say anything and also stilling the jabs from his crew.
“If, and only if you do this for me I will let you and the Chargers pick whichever dragon you want to hunt and I will personally help you slay it,” she said, pressing her finger against his lip before pulling it away with another smirk. She could tell it worked, he looked to Krem who shrugged his shoulders, then to the rest of the Chargers. He sighed and pressed a hand to his forehead before replying.
“It better be one big fucking dragon,” cheers erupted around him with beer sloshing out of raised cups. Lavellan raised hers too in celebration, a smile untampered with the duty of being the Inquisitor gracing her face.
“Lumine you’re fucking hammered,” Someone had said into her ear, she cocked her head before leaning against the person.
“Nah, just lightly… Smashed,” Lumine teased, looking up to find Krem staring down at her with a tired, yet amused expression. She gave him one of her charming smiles, which he brushed off with ease as he helped hoist her to her feet.
“Chief told me to get you back to your room before you drink yourself into a stupor,” He continued, his hands lingering in front of Lumine as she swayed from left to right. She let out a little laugh at Krem’s comment and began to move. She thought she had the hang of it, really, but somehow she got twisted up on her own feet and was mere seconds away from crashing to the wood floors before Krem grabbed her arm to help steady her. She felt weak in his arms as he put another hand around her middle to help her walk.
“Yeah, hammered, let's get you to bed before Josephine bans you from the tavern,” Lumine was dully aware of him leading her out into the biting cold of Skyhold and up the steps to the main hall. She saw him pass by the rotunda and immediately slurred out a command to turn around. She had not forgotten the kindness shown to her last time when something similar occurred from the wise apostate, and she wanted to see if it would hold true a second time.
“Take me to Solas,” she mumbled, gesturing with her head to the door. Krem gave her a strange look before heaving a sigh and turning them around. Lumine let out an elated sound in the back of her throat, earning a laugh from Krem.
“So Chief wasn’t making up your crush then, I take it?” Krem teased, opening the door to the rotunda with the toe of his boot. Lumine shushed him loudly, pressing a hand over his mouth and dipping back in mock offense at the claim. She almost fully fell out of his grasp before he tightened his hold on her waist.
“Inquisitor,” A voice echoed across to them, making Lumine snap her head to his usual haunt. The desk, however, was empty and made her face twist into a frown. She scanned the rest of the room, increasingly getting more agitated with each pass that did not show Solas. She let out a huff, and Krem used his other hand to angle her chin upwards to where he sat on scaffolding. His eyes held a quiet disdain for the both of them, as he nodded to Krem.
“One of Bulls men, yes? Why have you brought the Inquisitor here instead of her chambers,” Solas questioned, his eyes trained on the hand wrapped around Lumine’s waist as Krem led them both more inside the rotunda. As he did, Lumine let out a happy hum to fully be in the space, the frescos comforting and the veilfire lulling her into peace.
“She- she asked to come here instead, I can take her-” Krem began before Solas stopped him. He angled his head towards the small loveseat before speaking.
“Leave her then, I have handled her like this before. It could be the reason she has sought me out,” As he spoke Krem did as he was told. Leading her to the couch before helping her sit. She gave his hand that was pulling away a friendly pat, trying to put together words as thanks which only came out as a hum of approval. Krem let out a soft laugh before retreating several paces away. Solas watched him as he left, his eyes never leaving the man until he heard the click of the door.
“Solas!” She beamed, staring up at him from where he was perched. When he was assured of Krem’s departure, he finally turned his head to look down at her from across the room. His eyes held a hint of curiosity as he made to climb down the scaffolding, whatever task he was doing pushed aside in favor of her.
“Inquisitor Lavellan, might I ask why you seek me out when you are drunk?” he said once his feet were on solid ground. Moving quietly across the space before stopping at his desk, his hand braced on the edge as if to will himself to stop there. She watched this with a hint of sadness, her hopes of him lulling her to sleep dashed in an instant.
She was quite tired of this song and dance of “Will they or won’t they? ” that Solas had kept up despite their discussion before. She was still vaguely aware of the conversation, but she remembered with clarity the feeling of his lips brushing against the back of her hand. She wanted him to do it again, or better yet to kiss her fully on the lips. She wanted to stand and walk to him with such confidence it might make him hold his breath. To take his hand that was gripped so tightly against his desk and thread it through her short white hair. Instead, she just said with the saddest expression on her face.
“I need to go to the Winter Palace” her voice wavered as she did, sniffling a bit as she pulled up her legs to hold them against her chest. She didn't know why she suddenly felt so sad, perhaps it was because her hopes of romance were foolish, or that she had to do silly lessons and have someone take her measurement, or maybe-
“Lethallan, why are you crying?” Solas spoke softly. She had not noticed him move to be beside her, his hand hovering over her back as she wiped at her eyes. When had she started crying? Maker, she must truly be wasted.
“I don’t… Sorry, I don’t know, I think it's the liquor and the frustration from today,” the words bubbled out of her before she could stop them. Somehow, and gods she wished to know why, she always seemed to talk easier with Solas at her side. It befuddled her on their first meeting, the way they slid into harmony as the world was crashing down around them. At first, she believed it to just be because they were both of The People, yet as time continued she noted how she would seek his counsel more and more. Maybe that's why she had truly come here, to seek guidance when dealing with humans and The Game.
“A letter came, an invitation to the Winter Palace to attend a ball, Solas I have no clue how to conduct myself around such bloodthirsty people,” her voice was soft, her eyes trained on the cobbled stone floor, she hated admitting that she was more or less afraid. She was the Inquisitor, the Herald of Andraste, and she was afraid of humans? If these were humans on the battlefield or in a tavern she knew she could cut them down with either her magic or sharp insults. She couldn’t do that this time, she couldn’t wave her staff and kill any annoying men who ogled her, nor could she call any women who sneered at her “shemlen dogs.”
A hand came to her back to rub soothing circles into her skin, and she startled at the touch. She had expected him, truthfully, to stay at arm's length due to whatever irrational fear he had of her. She hadn’t expected him to come near her when a few tears slipped down her face or expected a hand on her back when she finally tumbled through her complicated thoughts from this morning's meeting. His relaxing touch made the rest of the words she had trapped inside her rush out with each breath.
“Hahren I have never danced a waltz, I have never worn an Orlesian dress, I have never studied the ways of court or walked in those stilted shoes the women wear. I am not someone who can play politics, but I know they will all try and mold me into that image! I cannot handle another reflection that is not my own,” Lumine hadn’t meant to call Solas Hahren, it had rushed out of her like everything else. The silent comfort Solas was giving had just made the coil Lumine had stuffed deep down unravel and it reminded her so much of the elders in clan Lavellan. Despite her hangups about the keeper and her role in their clan, she still found comfort in their company when it mattered. She missed the feeling of community it gave her when she was alone under the stars with her clan. In the Inquisition she had no one to break down to like this, instead, she put on a mask at the war table and drank her worries under the table in the tavern with people she tentatively calls friends. Yet she still couldn’t open up to them about her deep worries, she wanted to enjoy their company without dragging them down into her deprecation. Maker, how did she play another version of herself even in her brief respite?
A finger crooked itself under her chin to pull her gaze up and away from the floor. The tears still threatened to spill out of frustration and fear, but she had calmed herself enough not to seem like a mess in front of the one person she wanted to impress.
“I have never seen you give up in the face of adversity, you are more clever and intelligent than you give yourself credit for, Lumine.” Solas began, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he continued. “Use those strengths to your advantage in ways that will allow you to position yourself above the nobles who sneer at you. You already have something at your disposal” He finished, pulling his hand away tentatively as his eyes bore into hers. She sucked in a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, her voice a whisper that fanned across his skin.
“And what, pray tell, is that Solas?” His hand drifted over the pointed tips of her ears, and she realized what he had meant.
“It is an opportunity, to use your tricks, wisdom, and companions for gain. Bringing along such people would be wise, you have an established comradery with many of your… friends in Skyhold. If speaking with the nobles frightens you, then keep to the shadows. If they see you as something weak, prove them wrong–and if you have the opportunity to see them weak, you strike.” his voice coated her skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake as she shivered against the barely-there touch of his fingers. They sat there for a long while, staring at one another with respectable distance, though Lumine wished he would break his composure and hold her close. Could she really ask for that, though? He was already helping her so much as it was. Was she getting greedy with his care?
“You are so kind,” she spoke aloud. Her thoughts carried out of her as she watched him stand. He stiffened at her voice, his head turning slightly to acknowledge her comment before taking several steps away from his desk.
“I am not as kind as you think I am,” Solas replied. His voice sounded more distant than it had since Lumine had entered his space. She opened her mouth to issue a retort, but he cut her off.
“I will go get Varric to help you to your chambers, along with a cup of water,” He said. His voice was curt as he rushed out of the room. Maker, what did I say wrong? Lumine groaned, letting her head fall back onto the couch. Every time she thought she was getting somewhere it felt like Solas would pull the rug out from under her. She could choose any other person in Skyhold, it would be much easier than this–save her much heartache too. Yet, even as the idea flitted across her mind, she felt her heart constrict… Damn it.
Varric was not pleased to open the door in the middle of the night to see Solas standing there with a particularly pained expression on his face. Varric furrowed his brows before running a hand over his face to wipe off some of the sleep still trapped behind his eyes.
“Chuckles, always a pleasure. Though I would like you to find me during normal hours,” Varric grumbled.
“It's the Inquisitor,” Solas said. His hands folded behind his back as usual, and Varric stood up straighter at the mention of the other elf.
“Shit–she okay?” Varric asked. He hurried to grab his shoes, slipping them on as he hobbled out the door. Knowing Lumine’s track record, Varric could only imagine what trouble she had gotten into.
“She's drunk. In the rotunda.”
“Shit, that it? Chuckles she’s always drunk,” Varric turned to go back to bed, a yawn escaping as he went to close the door as he went.
“I need you to get her to her room,” Varric groaned and turned back around.
“Andraste's tits Solas, can’t you? Or get someone still awake?” Even when the words left his mouth Varric knew the answer would be no. He could see it written all over his face as Varric brushed past him.
“She has to make an appearance at the Winter Palace in a few months,” Solas said as he followed behind. Varric laughed. He could picture it now: her either charming the entire court or attacking them all—probably the latter.
Maybe she should try being more into his interests? The whole… Fade and… History… thing. Try reading those boring books he always carried around with him or asked for.
They aren’t always boring. He lends her some when he thinks it's a topic she would be interested in. He's usually right about her being more into them than some of the others. Maybe she's not intelligent enough. Does he like intelligent girls?
Lumine stood on wobbly legs and attempted to go over to his desk. She stumbled and practically fell into the chair he usually sat at when she would come to find him. The chair was… comfortable, and old. She should get him a new chair, maybe she could steal one from the Winter Palace. How does one go about stealing a chair anyhow? Bull could probably help. Besides the worn chair, his desk was a cluttered mess of papers, books, maps and-
A small piece of paper, tucked between several pages of an especially large book. She would have missed it if she were looking for anything other than a distraction
She glanced at the door and listened for footsteps before pulling the book in front of her and sliding the paper out of its hiding place. Lumine unfolded it. The writing was crisp and hurried—and more notably, not by Solas. Interesting. Who could be sending him missives? She thought he was a wandering apostate.
A noise outside of the rotunda startled and almost made her lose the paper in the process. She hastily refolded the letter and placed it back between pages of the book before pushing it away from her. She debated whether to try to make her way back over to the couch when Varric and Solas both walked in on her standing and almost tipped over in her haste.
“Woah there Charmer,” Varric said, reaching out an arm to stop her from falling. She laughed, using his arm and the desk to steady herself. She leveled a gaze at Solas, who was looking at the desk instead of her.
“I wanted to do some light reading before bed,” She joked, yet his eyes still didn’t meet hers. Shit, was he pissed? Did he know? Should she apologize?
“I heard about you being forced to go to the Winter Palace in a few months. You need a dashing rouge dwarf to accompany you?” Varric said, pulling Lumine out of her thoughts. He was patting her back and still helping steady her. Right, could she bring along Varric too? And if she could bring Varric and Bull, does that mean she could bring along Solas?
“Perfect idea Varric, while we’re at it let's bring Solas along too.” Lumine laughed, leaning on Varric as she threw Solas a look, finally, he stared back. “I think making most of my companions non-human would do wonders for my reputation with the nobles,” Varric gave a hearty laugh at her idea while Solas scrunched up his brows.
“Inquisitor Lavellan I don’t think-” Solas began before being cut off.
“Ah ah ah~ you just said to use my strengths. Those strengths are the lovely friends I’ve made along the way,” Lumine said, wagging a finger in his face. She could see the argument building behind his eyes, but she could tell he held his tongue.
“Of course, Inquisitor Lavellan, it is your decision,” Solas said, his voice unusually cold. He stepped out of Varric’s and Lumine’s way as Varric led her by the arm to the door. He rambled as he went, but Lumine was too focused on angling her head to keep one eye on Solas whose fingers ghosted across the tops of various books stacked on his desk. As Lumine was pulled through the door she made sure to call over her shoulder.
“Sleep well, my dear apostate,” his response to her kindness was silence.
Later in the night as Lumine huddled into her too-big bed to have another sleepless night she heard the softest knock on her door. She opened it, surprised to find a note next to a glass of water at her doorstep. Lumine let out the softest of laughs as she kneeled to pick up the apology gift. She had almost forgotten Solas had said he was going to get her water, he must have snuck up the stairs to leave the drink before departing. How sweet.
She sat the water down on her bedside table as her eyes scanned the small note he left.
I am sorry. I had forgotten our prior agreement. Please rest easy.
Curt, to the point. The letters swirled and arched in such beautiful handwriting as Lumine traced each one. She could tell though, as she had slipped and stolen every piece of paper he had ever jotted down on, that the last line was added slower than the first. Lumine grinned; sap, fool, so many names she felt for herself as she slid the paper onto her nightstand for safekeeping. As she laid down, attempting to “rest easy ” her mind flittered back to the note she had snuck a glance at.
She was right, it was not his handwriting.