Chapter Text
Cooper was thirteen when he realized he was in love with his best friend. All while he had a girlfriend. He cursed any love deity out there for giving him these feelings for a taken man.
It did not help that Emilio had grown into a handsome young man with fluffy hair and nice tanned skin. Shooting up to an impressive height of 5 '11 and breathtaking green eyes and a smile that he wished he could see more of. Not only is he handsome as hell. Emilio was nice, funny, and the only one Cooper believes can challenge him.
Fuck the love goddess.
To add to his misfortune, Cooper only realized he not only had these feelings since childhood, he only realized he had these feelings because Emilio is now dating Stacy goddamn Donovan. At first when they first started going out Cooper tried to be happy for his best friend, but as time went on he felt more annoyed and angry at the mere thought of them together until he realized that he wished he was the one with Emilio instead of her.
If there truly was a love deity out there, Cooper swore to himself to give them the biggest middle finger of all time. Out of every boy in the school, why did it have to be his best friend?
He had spent almost a year now with this knowledge. Even after he went back in time and saved his family he still was to pussy to confess without killing himself at the end of it and now here they were, walking on the same old road of South Park to his house, Emilio right next to him talking about his family's latest Guinea pig as if it was the best thing since sliced bread while Cooper just stared at his face as Emilio's smile never faded.
"Hey, speaking of which Coop, I was wondering, are you like, maybe have something that you're hiding from me?” Emilio asks suddenly. “Hm, what do you mean? I got nothing to hide from you man.” Cooper looked confused at his friend. Emilio shook his head. “I know more than you know Cooper. I know what you're hiding from me.”
Copper's blood froze, does he know about his stupid feelings? Is he gonna try an let him down easy? he's not going to take pity from something like that. Before Emilio could say anything else Cooper ran into his house and locked the door.
He groaned, slumping to the sofa. Kate was out with Aunt Karen for now so he has the whole house to himself. Cooper watched from the window as his best friend walked away frustrated.
Cooper felt his heart slowly drop when he remembered their moment in the alternate timeline where half his family is dead. He knew deep down that Emilio only told him he loves him out of pity for his situation that spiralled into something he thought was love. Heck in this timeline Emilio didn't even know that he said that, nor the fact that they've kissed.
Even with that out of the way, why in any world would Emilio choose him when he could have any girl he wants. Almost every girl he knew has ever had a major crush on the boy at least once and Cooper managed to go up and fall for a womanizer.
Then he remembered something.
Shooting up from the sofa, he ran to his room and grabbed a piece of paper for questions when his dad came back from work. He remembered that his father used to be the biggest flirt in South Park, dating and hooking up with girls for at least a week. So his dad would definitely know how to help him win the heart of a heartbreaker.
When he heard his father's car pulling up on the driveway he raced down the stairs to greet him with a bear hug. “Whoa hey there buddy, it's nice to see you and all but what's the commotion about?” Butters hugged his son back.
“Dad, how did you get other dad to fall in love with you?” Cooper looked up to his dad, eyes filling with wonder. Butters looked at his son, slightly reminiscing. “I didn't really do anything Coop, in fact it was you other dad that fell in love with me first and begged for us to run away together. So my best advice is to be yourself.” Butters explains matter of factly.
“Yes, but what is it that made him fall for you like, what did you do for him to make you the one he ended up marrying?” Cooper pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket where he had written all his questions. His dad chuckled at the sight of his son asking about his love life like a news reporter.
“What is this actually about Coop?” his father went to sit down on the couch, pulling his son with him. “Is it a boy?” Cooper looked away, looking flushed as he muttered a small “Maybe”. Butters laughed, amused that he is acting like a lovestruck hopeless romantic.
“Look Coop, just be yourself and he would fall for you by himself, that's what worked for me with your dad and look at us now, so believe in that son.” Butters smiled at his son. Cooper tried to smile but he was screaming internally, “Thanks, dad.” he forced out.
Cooper’s screams were muffled by a pillow after dinner. How the hell should he know if Emilio liked him that way, maybe if he could get his dad to help him make a secret mind reading device to see who Emilio likes in this timeline. Which is when he heard a knock at the door.
Speak of the devil, his father opened the door and sat on the bed next to his son who was hugging the pillow he was yelling into. “It’s Emilio isn’t it.” Cooper’s heart raced when those words came out of his father’s mouth, he felt a flush on his cheeks and hid his face which answers his father’s question.
“Your dad was right y’know, I fell for him because he was him. It took me a long time to realize that but I-” “We actually kissed.” Cooper confessed, his father paused then started sputtering questions ranging from was it consensual or how did it happen.
“In the timeline where Kate and dad died. When I was mourning, he told me he loved me. It felt so genuine but I guess it was only because I was distant and he missed me.” Cooper explains. His father hugged him “Coop, if he truly loves you, he would love you even if you weren’t hurting.”
“I think he knows.” Cooper muttered “And he wants to let me down gently.” “Don’t say that Coop, I’m sure he could see a catch when he sees one, you’re a Mccormick. You take after me and you know how much a catch I am.” They both chuckled.
Cooper had an idea in the middle of the hug. “Dad, you used to have a lot of people chasing after you right?” His father pulled away from the hug, slightly taken aback from his son’s question. “So do you know how to help me make Emilio fall for me.”
-
HIs father had given him probably the best advice he had when he was younger with his dad, and considering that according to Uncle Stan, his dad was the first of his friend group to actually have a girlfriend before he had realized he was pan who ended up getting an STD. Which his father had admitted causing his son and Uncle Stan to laugh at his expense.
He knows that Emilio knows something that he’s hiding and his crush is the only thing he ever hid from his best friend and now he knows about it. He just had to make sure that he was correct. According to his father, he needs to have a deep conversation and then when he is at his weakest moment he can use it to ask him about what he knows so he doesn’t embarrass himself.
He waited for Emilio at the bus stop the next day. The same bus stop has apparently been around since the times of his fathers who had met up here with his friends. Guess some things never change, he thought.
Speaking of friends, Emilio came behind his friend and grabbed him by the shoulders earning a surprised yelp from the blonde. “Morning Coop.” Emilio smirked, hugging him from behind. Cooper laughed and brushed him off, pushing him in the process. “Hey Em, you good?”
“Yeah, just the usual, dads are busy with the coffee shop and the lab, nothing new.” Emilio smiled. “You want to talk about it now?” Cooper sighed “What exactly are we talking about?” he asks innocently.
“Dude, you already know what I’m talking about.” Emilio frowned, Cooper shook his head, looking to the ground “Look man, whatever I did to you to make you feel all pissy I’m sorry. But I can’t know what it is unless you tell me what's wrong.”
“No, I want to hear it from you myself.” Emilio crossed his arms “You might not think it bothers me, but it really does and you have to stop.” Cooper felt his heart drop, so Emilio really didn’t love him at all. “Look man, if I wanted to stop I would’ve stopped a long time ago but these feelings don't just go away like that.” He snapped his fingers. “All I want is to help you anyway I can to get rid of these feelings.” Emilio yelled “Is that too much to ask?”
“If that's all, why don’t you just leave me alone to deal with my shit!” Cooper did his best to hide the hurt in his voice but unfortunately Emilio knows him too well. “I can’t just leave you alone Coop, don’t you know how hard it is for me to know how much pain someone you care about and you know you could try and save them, even at the risk of yourself!”
That stung, Cooper mutters a small “I do know. It fucking hurts when you know you can survive it while others don’t.” the words slowly become a growl.
Emilio’s face softened when he saw Cooper's face and tried to pull him close “Coop I-” Before he could say anything the bus pulled up. Cooper ran into the bus, leaving Emilio to find a seat himself. Reading the room, Emilio said nothing as he sat next to him.
The drive to school was tense with neither boy saying a single word to each other. Emilio tried to reach his hand to Cooper’s but the other boy retracted. He felt stupid for ever thinking he could be anything to the other boy besides his friend.
The entire school day was miserable, Cooper unable to enjoy anything that day, not even his favorite subjects helped keep his mind off the conversation he just had with Emilio. How he just wants him to get rid of his feelings like they don’t matter.
Did he even mean anything to Emilio?
Of course you do, get a grip Cooper just because he doesn’t love you doesn’t mean you aren’t his friend Cooper internally chastised himself while he grabbed his lunch tray. Everything froze when he saw Emilio sitting and smiling with Agatha Biggle.
Didn’t he say that he didn’t like her like that just a month ago? Since when did they become friends? Is he feeling jealous like with Stacy again? Cooper’s mind was racing everywhere. He was then snapped out of it when Emilio got up and snapped his fingers at his face, saying “Earth to Cooper. Anybody in there?”
Cooper shook his head, shaking himself out of his trance. “C’mon Coop, let’s sit down.” Emilio dragged the blonde to where he’s sitting with Agatha. “So, when were you and her getting along so well?” Cooper said, annoyance clear in his voice as he gestures to the confused girl.
“Dude we were just talking about school stuff, it’s nothing big.” Emilio tried to reassure his friend “Is this a way for you to ‘help’ get rid of my feelings again.” Cooper used finger quotations as he spoke. “NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU!” Emilio snapped.
The whole lunch room went quiet, staring at them.Agatha had already left moments ago, some had taken out their snacks to watch the drama unfold in front of them while some Asian students were whispering among themselves. “WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP TREATING ME LIKE MY FEELINGS ARE A FUCKING LIABILITY TO YOU!” Cooper bellowed.
“YOU THINK I WANT TO SEE MY FRIEND GET HURT? IT FEELS LIKE THIS IS AFFECTING ME MORE THAN YOU SINCE I’M THE ONE GETTING ALL WORKED UP ABOUT IT!” Emilio screamed back. Without thinking, Cooper grabbed some of the saucy spaghetti from his lunch tray and threw it at Emilio and poured his milk down his chullo hat.
“Don’t ever think that you can understand what I’ve been through!” Cooper’s eyes were large as saucers filled with anger. Emilio swiped the spaghetti off his face, looking almost as if he wanted to cry. “I just don’t want you to get hurt again.” He whispered, voice breaking.
When reality hits Cooper, realizing what he had done he took a few steps back and ran for the exit. Running up to the tallest floor with Emilio chasing him. Cooper didn’t feel the tears pouring in his eyes while he felt his heart was either racing from everything that just happened or shattering for what he did.
When he had reached the rooftop of the school Cooper could hear Emilio screaming out for him but all Cooper wants is for this day to never happen, for it to be whipped from both their memories. Climbing up the wall in the roof he leapt down falling all the way to the ground.
The last thing he heard was Emilio’s heartbreaking scream.
-
Dying hurts like a bitch.
Cooper had a headache when he woke up, his dad called him down for breakfast since this is a Saturday which means that it’s pancake day and even though his mind is still recovering from yesterday as he slumped downstairs after he gets dressed. He was greeted with the sight of his sister and father eating pancakes while his dad was stacking at least twenty on his plate.
“Whoa dad, I don’t think I have the appetite to eat that much.” Cooper said, eyes wide when he saw what was on his plate. Butters laughed “A good stomach can get you through heartbreak Coop, and besides you’re too skinny anyway. He pinches his son’s cheeks as he places the pancakes in front of Cooper’s seat.
Cooper stabbed his ginormous pancakes, his father usually makes them unusually thick like flattened chiffon cakes that still tasted like pancakes. His father handed him some syrup as he ate. “I'm assuming things with Emilio didn't end up well?” Kenny tried to make small talk, Cooper just grumbled something under his breath while Kate shot up. her smile filled with hope “Cooper's finally gonna confess and marry Emilio? Can I be maid of honor? I want to pick out your wedding dress and-”
“There isn't gonna be a wedding if he still remembers what I did yesterday.”Cooper slit a third of his pancakes with a knife and sliced the piece in half and shoving it into his mouth. “What happened son?” Butters placed his hand on his eldest's shoulder, his voice comforting. “We had a fight, he wants me to stop loving him as fast as possible, said he'll help me in anyway he can to get me stop being in love with him.”
His fathers looked at each other with the same expression of disbelief. “That doesn't sound like something he would do.” Kate's voice had a twinge of betrayal. Over the years Emilio almost had been like her other brother and she had prayed that her actual brother would eventually marry him to be an official member of the family. To see how much Emilio hurt Cooper made her want to strangle him with her metal arm.
“Yeah well that's what happened yesterday anyway.” Cooper drenched his pancakes with syrup, he was so filled with anger that Kenny had to guide his hand to put down the bottle. “Look Cooper, these things…they happen and it will hurt at first but it’ll heal.” Kenny tried to reassure his son. Cooper felt tears in his eyes and his heart clenched.
Kate got up from her seat with her plate of pancakes in hand. She placed them in front of Cooper and hugged him. “You can have my pancakes Coop, if you need anyone to talk to. I'm here.” It soon involves the whole Mccormick family to have a group hug with Cooper in the middle, feeling pathetic as he cried.
It took half an hour for him to calm down and for the family to resume with their breakfast. His dad had to tell him to slow down when Cooper was choking down pancakes in between gasps. Cooper insists that Kate eat the rest of her pancakes as he had way too many anyway.
Once he finished washing the dishes with his father Cooper went straight back to his room to check his phone. When he unplugged his phone there was a glaring notification staring back at him. It was from Emilio, it just read ‘Can I see you?’
On one hand Cooper wanted to just block his number altogether and avoid him at all cost. But on the other hand he wanted to know what Emilio had to say. He knew that option one was probably the best option but his heart is telling him to go for option two.
So like every dumb teenager in a generic rom com, he followed his heart and ran out to Emilio’s house. He already had his hands on his knees by the time he got to the front porch and rang the doorbell. When Emilio answered he had a look of shock on his face looking down at the blonde.
“Dude what the hell are you doing here?” Emilio asked “You asked if we could meet.” Cooper yelled out in between breaths “Dude, I sent that text like, a few minutes ago? I don’t care, I just really need to talk to you, come in.” Emilio dragged the boy to his living room and grabbed him a glass of cold water.
Once Cooper finished chugging down water Emilio demanded that they talk. “What do you want to say to me?” Cooper crossed his arms. “Ok, look I’m sorry I pushed you too far yesterday. I said things that I shouldn’t have and I don’t expect you to forgive me.” Emilio’s voice sounded sincere.
“It's alright Em, I said things I'm not proud of as well.” Cooper sighed. “I just don't want you to hurt yourself man, it's bad enough your keeping it from me but what happened to you so you keep trying to kill yourself?”
Wait, what?
Cooper looked up to his friend, dumbfounded “What are you talking about man?” “You really still want to act dumb. Cooper I know you keep trying to kill yourself. I heard you and Doctor McCormick talking about your countless deaths or something like that, I don't know how but just, just want to help you stop feeling like you should kill yourself.”
Oh, so that's what he was talking about? Cooper remembered that conversation with his dad. It was pretty recent after his time travel adventure that his dad and him had a calmer conversation on their immortality. This time one with less tears and more mutual understanding. He remembered that Emilio had come over to his house that day for a sleepover. Guess he came earlier than he thought.
“Do you really think I want to stand idly by and watch you harm yourself, all I want to do is to help you stop wanting to die.” Emilio asked loudly, Cooper was taken aback with the sudden harshness in his friend’s voice. “It wouldn’t even matter anyway Em, I can’t die anyway.”
“Cooper this isn’t the time to joke around your actually-” “Because I’m fucking cursed okay!” Cooper slumped to the sofa “My dad is an immortal and he passed his curse onto me. Every time I die I wake up in my bed again safe and sound, like nothing even happened. And no one remembers.” he continued “It's more of a superpower than anything.”
“Coop, even if you are an immortal, which I highly doubt, you shouldn't be killing yourself. What if you lost your powers one day? I can't bear to think of what happens if I lose you and why would you avoid me over-” “Because I thought you knew that I love you.” Cooper admitted.
Emilio's mouth opened like a fish when Cooper realized what just said he quickly raced to get out of the house but Emilio tackled him to the ground. “Will you stop flying of the handle and hear what I have to say, I fucking love you too asshole. I have been for a fucking long time and maybe that's why I don't want you hurting yourself.”
Cooper looked at his friend who was starting to tear up, Cooper sat up and wiped his tears away “I promise, for your sake Emilio, I will try to stop. But it won't be easy.” Emilio hugged him “I don't care how long it takes, I will do everything I can to help.”
The two boys finally stood up, Emilio still clearing out his tears but slowly composing himself.
“So, what now?” Cooper asked.
“I've been dreaming of kissing you every night I try to sleep.” Emilio confessed, embarrassed, Cooper snorted and doubled down with laughter. “Dude, that's how you ask for a kiss, tell me how you're the school heartthrob again.” “SHUT UP, I'm starting to regret this.” Emilio was beet red and Cooper huffed out his last few laughs “I've told you many times that I want to kiss you before I killed myself.” Cooper replies back.
“Fine, then let's kiss.” Emilio dragged a smiling Cooper to the sofa. Cooper cupped Emilio's face as he pulled him in for a kiss. It was not the electric fireworks that most of Kate's romance novels say. Cooper just felt so warm inside and noted in his mind how soft Emilio's mouth is compared to his overly bitten ones.
They're kiss evolved into their jackets getting thrown to the ground and before he knew it. Cooper was on top of Emilio, making out in his living room couch. He felt hands feeling up his abdomen under shirt. His head was running a million miles per second as the boy under him was tugging on his shirt when he heard an ear piercing scream.
At the front door to both the boys’ horror was Doctor Tucker staring at them like someone had just killed his guinea pig in front of him and Mister Tweek who had his mouth open. Cooper leaped off his best friend (boyfriend?) and the two scrambled out excuses about what they were doing but Doctor Tucker cut them off.
“God, I'm gonna be in laws with Kenny.” He grimaced. His husband went up the stairs with him to their room, mouthing a ‘Finally brave enough huh’ to his son. Emilio blushed bright red while Cooper dragged him to his room while smirking.
When he shut to the door Emilio grabbed him by the shoulder to pull Cooper into another sloppy kiss. Cooper pulled away after a few minutes “Dude I thought you wanted to kiss me.” Emilio teasingly pouted. “Yeah but there's something I want to do first” Cooper got on one knee causing Emilio to panic.
“Whoa whoa whoa I think that it's too early for-” “I'm not thinking of that yet, chill.” Cooper interrupted “Will you Emilio Tucker, give me the title as your boyfriend?” Cooper lost his balance from all the happiness while Emilio went to kiss him again.
“Of course asshole.” He breathed out, his face centimeters away from his boyfriend's before leading him to his bed and locking the door.