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Mayoi Ayase never thought he deserved to have a soulmate.
His family never really cared to explain soulmates to him, but he knew his parents weren't ones. He saw words appear on their hands on various occasions, none of which were written down by the other parent.
With how his parents reacted to the words appearing on them, they either sighed and ignored it, made their irritation known or just… commented on how irritating it was because those people didn't know when to stop trying.
So, his parents couldn't be soulmates.
And it made Mayoi think that having one isn't fun. Or even nice, especially when you're married and still have messages appearing on your body as if the person on the other side of the link is still searching for you… And even more… when you're forbidden to leave the underground to find your soulmate…
Years later, Mayoi learnt why his parents' soulmates kept trying.
They were desperate. Just like he was after all those years. In his case though, it wasn't about finally meeting his other half.
He prayed to whoever was looking after him to never meet his soulmate. So he won't bug anyone. So no one would have to spend time with him, just because they were destined to be together.
Because he didn't want the other person to be disappointed they've got such a terrible match.
And the truth is… he never got any words from his soulmate. Not directed to him, at least.
There were some words as if someone used their forearms as a grocery store list. Or to draw some fruits, vegetables or something similar.
Mayoi thought it was relieving that the other person didn't try to reach him. Or he didn't notice it among various things listed out in quite a messy placement of the words on his skin.
He didn't write or draw anything on his skin himself, so the other person probably thinks that they either don't have a soulmate or they're not destined for anyone yet.
It was later when Mayoi changed a little in the matter of soulmates. Because of his friends from ALKALOID.
Or rather, a cute conversation between Aira and Hiiro, after Hiiro noticed his words appear on Aira’s body. Not so long after Aira’s appeared on his own.
Hiiro wrote the sweetest things he could on his forearms, so they would appear on Aira's skin too. Which, obviously, made Aira flustered.
“Ah, it seems Aira looked after me for all these years, before we met and ALKALOID was formed! So gods looking for us by writing things on our bodies is only half-true after all!” Hiiro exclaimed cheerfully, taking Aira's hand in his.
Which made Aira even more flustered. And Tatsumi wondered if Hiiro's hometown didn't know about soulmates at all.
“So people in your hometown say things like that? They never saw the words they wrote appearing on someone else's arm?” Tatsumi asked, genuinely curious about people's beliefs in Hiiro's hometown. Or if anyone in his town were soulmates.
“Not at all!” Hiiro responded cheerfully, after Aira took the pen from his hand, preventing Hiiro from messing the arms of both of them even further. “We were always told to not write anything back, so we won't anger any of the gods by accident!”
“But isn't it stupid?” Aira chimed in, looking at Hiiro with disbelief on his face. “As if simple words like ‘thank you’ or something like that would anger anyone?!”
“A-Aira-san… Are you angry because Hiiro-san never wrote anything back to you? O-or just because of what his hometown believes in?” Mayoi asked gently, not wanting to make the youngest even more mad.
“Because he didn't write back because of that! I thought I was soulmateless! Hmpf!” Aira looked away, his arms crossed on his chest while his back faced Hiiro, who looked a little dumbfounded.
Aira already told him many times that he can't read people's moods or notice the border in physical closeness… But hugging his soulmate shouldn't be bad?
He looked at Mayoi and Tatsumi, both giving him signs with their hands he should hug Aira anyway.
It didn’t take Aira long to forgive him after Hiiro hugged him tightly from behind and apologized.
Actually, Hiiro apologizing, again and again, made Aira ask his senpais about their soulmates, so Hiiro would forget about him for a moment.
It worked so now Aira and Hiiro were looking at Mayoi and Tatsumi expectantly. Mayoi looked worried… Well, even more than usual.
Tatsumi, on the other hand, smiled softly, showing off his forearm to the rest of ALKALOID.
“I don't know who my soulmate is, but I can say they're nice. See?” Tatsumi pointed at specific sentences, from his elbow to the wrist. “It's from today's morning, we exchanged some words during breakfast… But I guess it was impolite since HiMERU-san looked at me weirdly…”
The rest of Alkaloid looked at Tatsumi, not knowing if they should talk about HiMERU’s reaction, but… They silently decided to leave Tatsumi oblivious to the reasons for the behaviour of the member of Crazy:B.
And then, all eyes turned to Mayoi, expectedly. And as if they wanted to dig a hole in his head, in Mayoi’s opinion.
“W-why are y-you looking at me like t-this..?” Mayoi managed to mumble out, a blush tainting his cheeks. He had never liked to be stared at.
“Do you have a soulmate, Mayoi-senpai?” Hiiro asked.
Should he lie? Lying isn't right, especially lying to people who feel more like your family than your actual family, but…
Ah, he couldn't do it.
“W-well, there's someone, yes, but it's…” His voice trailed off, not knowing how to put it.
“It's what?” Aira's impatience showed off, clearly wanting Mayoi to finish his thought.
“Complicated?” Mayoi answered questioningly and his unitmates looked at him expectantly. So, he tried to explain it in the best way he could. “It's just… Well, my parents aren't soulmates and I always see them ignoring their soulmates or writing bad things back to them and hear them saying how annoying soulmates are…”
He never really thought he'd talk to anyone about his parents' behaviour so freely. Well, part of their behaviour.
“They hate the idea of having a soulmate?” Hiiro asked, his head slightly leaned to the side. “I've never understood the soulmates stuff before Aira explained it to me, but I always loved the thought of someone looking out for me… Is it a city thing to behave like this?”
“Usually people try to reach out to their soulmates,” Tatsumi answered, yet his tone was filled with concern. “Some of them stop if they find someone else on the way and it feels bad to break a good relationship because of a soulmate, but it's very rare for people to behave like Mayoi-san’s parents.”
“Because most people know how to behave or at least have some decency to not act like a total buffoon!” Aira crossed his arms on his chest, clearly pissed off. “Sure, some families still arrange marriages, some people may have soulmates outside of the country and life just gets in the way of meeting their soulmate or they can just be too shy to write back, but being mean tells the other what kind of a person you are!”
Ah, at least there were worse kinds of people than Mayoi, in Aira's opinion.
“So, what about your soulmate, Mayoi-senpai?” Hiiro asked when Aira finished his rant.
“W-well… I've never written back to them, but they… often draw something or write down something like a ‘to-do list’. They never wrote directly to me, but I know they exist because some things appear on my forearm every day…” Mayoi explained, still a little hesitant.
“Maybe it's someone like me, who doesn't know yet that soulmates exist?” Hiiro wondered, thinking how high that possibility was. “But it can't be anyone from my village. Everyone gets some words on their skin, we like to discuss it and feel grateful for those words, you know?”
“Or maybe it's someone not caring about soulmates?” Tatsumi chimed in. “Not like Mayoi-san's parents, but not interacting. Yet forgetful enough to make notes on their skin…”
“Well, whoever it is, they must be pretty understanding if they don't feel bad about their soulmate not contacting them and aren’t trying to contact you either…” Aira summed up, visibly annoyed by the idea of two people being linked to each other and not communicating at all.
They all wondered which idea was the most likely. It caused them all to discuss what kind of person would be perfect for Mayoi because their personality was definitely crucial to making any assumptions.
The whole conversation made Mayoi wonder if maybe, just maybe, he could write back to his soulmate after all those silent years. That he could think of a nice icebreaker or something to start a discussion.
He didn't get a chance to try that, though.
Mayoi has never been a big eater, his weight-to-height ratio reflected that, being the lowest among the ES idols.
It's not like he has an eating disorder, his friends saw him eating without any issues, and he just ate enough to go about the day.
And maybe he sometimes forgot to eat enough. Or at all, when he was in a rush.
And that day, he didn't eat anything, because he slept in and was almost late to ALKALOID's training session.
That's how he ended up being dragged to the Starmony Dorms kitchen by his unitmates in the middle of their training.
“Shiina-senpai!” Aira shouted out as soon as he noticed the member of Crazy:B in the kitchen, checking the time on the oven, something visibly roasting inside it. “Could you make something for Mayo-senpai? He trained with us on an empty stomach, which clearly wasn't good for him!” He pointed at Mayoi, who was dutifully held up by Hiiro.
Tatsumi stayed in their training room to clean it up, much to Mayoi's dismay. It would’ve been way easier to convince Tatsumi that he’ll be okay than Hiiro and Aira.
“Ah! I'm actually in the middle of roasting a stuffed duck! You're not allergic to anything Mayo-chan, right?” Niki asked, his smile wide.
“N-no, I'm not, but I don't want to intru—” Mayoi mumbled, trying to get out of everyone's sight.
Then, Aira grabbed his shoulders and with Hiiro's help, moved him to the sofa and made him sit down.
“You're not going anywhere, Mayo-senpai! Not until you eat something nutritious!” Aira's voice held actual anger. It made Mayoi sit still, his hands on his knees.
“Aira is right. You'll faint again if you don't eat anything,” Hiiro agreed, his face showing worry towards his senpai.
He crumpled under his kouhais’ gazes. He knew they were right… but he didn't deserve their attention, not this much for sure!
Suddenly, he saw a bottle of juice before his eyes. He looked up and saw Niki with the bottle in his extended hand. He obediently took the juice, opened and tasted it. A grape juice that didn’t taste artificial, what a nice surprise.
A few sips of the juice made him feel a little better already.
“Listen to them, they're right! Some food will help and, hey, a meal with nice company tastes way better!” Niki's genuine tone made Mayoi's cheeks flush slightly.
Nice company? Him??
“Then we'll entrust Mayoi-senpai to you, Shiina-san!” Hiiro's loud voice beamed with delight. “Aira and I will go help Tatsumi-senpai and talk to Tenshouin-senpai about work!”
Seconds later, both Aira and Hiiro were gone.
“Well, that was fast. I almost envy how lively they are…” Niki commented, looking at the way their juniors ran away. Mayoi managed to hum in agreement, even if they saw the matter differently.
While Niki clearly could be jealous about the stamina of the youngest ALKALOID members, Mayoi lacked their cheerfulness.
It wasn't long before Niki laid the duck on the table, some sauce on the side, plates and cutlery ready for use.
Oh, and the taste of the duck was blissful, the filling tasty as well. He didn't care much about food as long as it was edible, but he couldn't deny whenever the cook did a great job.
“I'm glad to see you like it!” Niki smiled, his plate already having three times less food than Mayoi's. “HiMERU-kun and Rinne-kun don’t react much to my cooking so I can only count on Kohaku-chan…”
“Y-yes, I like it very much, thank you.”
There was a brief pause, both of them eating at their own pace. Yet, something seemed to worry Niki. And Mayoi wondered if he had ever seen him worried before. He had seen him angry plenty of times and only at Rinne, happy most of the time and curious while cooking.
“I-is something wrong?” Mayoi asked hesitantly, tilting his head subconsciously. “You look worried…”
Niki seemed surprised at the question. He looked at Mayoi for a bit, then smiled sheepishly.
“Not exactly wrong, you know… Just been trying out some different fillings and every time I feel it could be better… Maybe you could think about something to change or add to it?”
Mayoi's brows furrowed. He tried the food again, catching every little taste of the meat and filling, separately and together.
“You went for a sweeter filling than usual, right? Maybe add some kind of berries to it? It should blend pretty well and make it sweeter, maybe even a little sour if you use currants…”
When their eyes met, Mayoi saw how Niki's eyes shone, like the lights on a Christmas tree.
“Sounds yummy! Wait, I'll write it down for later…” Niki took out a small marker pen from his sweatshirt’s pocket to write Mayoi's idea on his forearm.
It was the moment Mayoi felt something appearing on his right forearm too.
His idea for the filling.
He looked at his forearm, then at Niki, again at his forearm and back at Niki, before his throat made a scared, high-pitched sound. Shiina-san is my soulmate?!
Well, now it makes sense why most of the notes and scribbles showing up on his hands were food-related. He could've guessed that. And the fact those notes appeared mostly on his right forearm made it only more obvious since Niki was left-handed…
It didn't make it less surprising though. Mayoi wondered why Niki didn't have a less… awkward soulmate.
“Something wrong?” Niki asked, looking at Mayoi, who focused his eyes on the inked forearm. “Did your soulmate write something nice to you?”
He didn't get a chance to cover his forearm. Niki managed to curiously look at the words on Mayoi's skin and blinked in visible confusion.
Then again and again, as if he doubted what he just saw. He moved his gaze to his own forearm, comparing the words and scribbles on their skins…
“So… We're soulmates, huh?” Niki finally realized, looking at Mayoi, who avoided his gaze.
“I-it seems so…”
There was a silence between them for a moment before Mayoi decided to break it.
“I'm… I'm sorry…”
“What? Why are you sorry, Mayo-chan!?” Niki was stunned, because why would your just-found soulmate apologize to you?
“For not writing to you all those years…?” Mayoi sounded hesitant after Niki's reaction, but he thought the apology was well-needed in this situation.
Niki thought quite the opposite.
“But…! I didn’t write anything to you, either?! I mean, sure, I didn't think much about the whole soulmates thing and if I met my soulmate one day that'd be fine, if not, that'd be just fine too…. So, we're even, right?”
“I… I guess so?” Niki’s reaction surprised Mayoi but it made him feel better as well. It was good for him, the fate linking him to someone who’s not obsessed about the soulmates matter.
Then, something else appeared on his skin, on his wrist this time. A little heart. His cheeks stung with heat.
“Aren't you disappointed…?” Mayoi's voice slightly trembled, his eyes looking everywhere but at his soulmate or the little heart adorning his wrist now.
Mayoi couldn't see that, but Niki was clearly confused, his eyes wide, looking at Mayoi, as if waiting for Mayoi to continue his thought.
But he didn't.
“Why would I be disappointed?” The honest surprise in his voice stirred something in Mayoi's heart. “I'd be disappointed if my soulmate was Rinne-kun or someone like him! But Mayo-chan, you're way, waaay better than him in every possible way, you know?”
“Better?” Mayoi couldn't help but repeat the word as if he had misheard it.
“Obviously! You help your juniors in ALKALOID a lot, you also make sure Kazehaya-kun won't strain his foot, changing your choreography just for that. Oh, and you made that impressive diorama for RYUSEITAI just to be smashed into pieces because Sengoku-kun asked you for it…”
He looked at Niki stunned and surprised he even remembered about the diorama. Mayoi genuinely wanted to erase that situation from his memory, for good reasons.
Also… How did Niki notice all those things? Has he been observing him this much?? Surely there are more important or interesting people to look at???
“You…” Mayoi's voice trembled, unsure if it was rude to point out how unusual it was to observe him. “Do you observe m-me for a reason, or…?”
And honestly, there wasn't any ‘or’ in his mind. He didn't see any reason for Niki to notice him in any way.
Well, maybe soulmates are supposed to notice each other more easily than other people…
“Huh? Oh, I mean, there’s no reason? It's just, whenever you enter the room I can smell your delicious smell, so it's easy for me to notice you…?” Niki wondered, not really noticing before how much attention he was giving Mayoi. “And other guys from your unit talk a lot of nice things about you too, so I heard some stuff…”
Was his smell also a sign that he was Niki's soulmate? Mayoi considered it, because… Niki didn't seem to react that way towards anyone else - just him.
“I like you as a person, and I'm not that surprised we’re soulmates, honestly… You're nice, cute, patient and smell insanely good…” Niki scratched the back of his head, looking sheepish as he said it. As if not sure how to put his feelings into words.
It's not like Mayoi knew how to do it himself either.
“Can I… kiss you? On the cheek, first. I don't want to go too fast for you, you know?” Niki asked after a while, making Mayoi look at him surprised.
He could notice a faint blush on Niki's face, making the warm look in Niki's eyes even more noticeable.
He felt like he was about to melt from that look on him.
Feeling extremely hot at the mere thought of the kiss, even if only on the cheek, he nodded, closed his eyes and waited.
Niki moved closer to Mayoi, leaning down. He touched one of his cheeks with his hand, caressing it gently.
Subconsciously, Mayoi inhaled sharply, when he felt Niki's warm breath on his face and reaching his ear, a shiver going down his spine.
“Is it really okay?” He could hear a hint of worry in Niki's voice. “I won’t kiss you if you don't want it. You know that, right?”
“I-it’s fine, just… No one has kissed me before, in any way…” His voice was so strained it surprised even him.
“Me too. And I didn't kiss anyone before, either. I wasn't really interested in this stuff, you know?” Niki chuckled, his thumb accidentally touching the corner of Mayoi's mouth. “Here I come…”
The kiss was surprisingly slow and soft. And then came another, moving closer and closer to his lips, but so slowly it made it feel comfortable.
Niki's lips on his skin felt incredibly… right . Mayoi never thought he'd feel like he earned the romantic kind of affection.
He craved more, yet he didn't dare voice his whim. Yet, as if his soulmate read his thoughts, Niki moved with his kisses to the other cheek.
Much closer to Mayoi's lips, which made him flustered.
The mere thought of kissing Niki's lips made his heart flip. And backflip.
“You’re starting to look like a cherry, you know? Way redder than a tomato and way sweeter than that!”
Mayoi barely controlled an Eek! coming from his lips. Why did the universe bond him to such a caring and patient person?!
Sure, it was a perfect match to handle his weird personality, almost too perfect…! But isn't it supposed to be like that with your soulmate…?
If it is, Niki would let Mayoi be a little selfish, right? Just a tiny, little bit…
“You can tell me when you feel better about the whole soulmates thing, right? And then I’ll take you out on a date to some nice places with food you'd like… Most of them aren't even crowded at certain times, so you'd feel better than in the ES cafeteria!” Niki said, the joy evident in his voice. “I'll hold your hand if you’d like that when there's an unexpected crowd, too!”
He liked the idea of the date, surprisingly. Niki wasn't a person to judge his behaviour by any means, so… If Niki wanted to go on a date, he'd go into a crowded restaurant, too…!
Before he could even rethink his actions, he made a move to place a little peck on Niki's lips, suddenly silencing his happy rant.
Mayoi, realizing his action now, tried to retreat, but Niki grabbed him by his shoulders, leaning further into the kiss, a few seconds of silence accompanying them in the otherwise empty room.
When they broke the kiss, Mayoi hid his face in the crook of Niki's neck, most of his blood moving to his cheeks.
“You taste even better than you smell, Mayo-chan~!” Niki beamed before his soulmate could mumble out an apology.
Of course, Niki didn't mind a kiss. Why would he, when he genuinely likes Mayoi? Why would anyone mind a kiss from their soulmate?
“That means we're boyfriends now, doesn't it?” Niki asked in a hushed voice as if someone else would eavesdrop.
Which was silly, minding what position they were in right now.
“I-if you want to…” Mayoi stuttered, his voice even quieter than Niki's. Still, the other heard him.
“Of course I want to! Why wouldn't I want to date Mayo-chan~?” Niki kissed him next to his ear, making him squirm.
The comforting reality embraced Mayoi's mind, just as Niki's arms were around him, one hand ruffling his hair from behind.
If that's what having a soulmate is like, he'll gladly accept it.
If Niki was his soulmate, he'd go with him to whatever restaurant he chooses.
If Niki really wants to be with him, then he'll do whatever he can to make it possible, despite the messed up situation he’s in.
And he'll learn to show as much affection to Niki as he can, too. As much as such a lovable person deserves.