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Spotting the one and only Idia Shroud on campus was, by itself, a rare occurrence. Usually, he managed to weasel his way out of attending classes physically, and his rare escapades to Sam's store were meticulously planned to reduce the chance of unwanted encounters. Now, running into Idia in a party? The possibilities were nearly close to zero… Unless Ortho was involved in the equation.
Idia remained unconvinced by the arguments about how he needed to socialize more, and how he could have a good time ‘if he actually tried’. But his little brother’s puppy eyes, combined with the wheedling way in which he said “please, nii-san!”? Yeah, Idia still hadn't developed a counterattack for that.
So, they had settled on a compromise. Idia would attend, but he just had to survive until midnight, and then, he could crawl back to his home base. Unless something compelled him to stay for a bit longer, but he knew very well that was not going to happen.
He glanced at the hour on the top of his tablet. 21 minutes past 11 p.m. Just 39 more minutes to go. It felt so close and, at the same time, way too far.
If only he had stood his ground for a bit longer! His little brother—and usual sidekick—has gone somewhere else to have fun with some of his new friends. And Idia usually wouldn't mind being left alone, but there's something in the air this time—maybe the way everyone, even the chronically absent Malleus Draconia, seems to have someone to laugh with—that makes Idia feel something akin to jealousy. Which is stupid, because, besides Ortho, the idea of an in-real-life conversation with anyone is low-key terrifying.
Well, with almost everyone.
He looked at the other side of the room, just a quick peek, because being caught staring would be mortifying. There he was, wearing a flawless grey suit, looking even more otome-protagonist-like than usual. He was chatting with some other students—probably trying to trap them in some scheme, knowing him—and even if Idia couldn't hear what he was saying, he knew it was exactly what the other guys wanted to hear. Always effortlessly smooth.
Those guys didn't know it yet, but they were already doomed. Just like Idia.
He shook his head, trying to get rid of the idea. Thinking about Azul letting a business opportunity slip between his fingers to chat with him about card games was, quoting one of the protagonists of the last anime he had binged, useless.
Another quick glance to the clock showed Idia that there were still 35 minutes to go.
Something about being so close, yet so far away from the goal made him feel extra restless. So he eyed the hallway, considering not for the first time using a cheat-code. Hiding in the bathroom did technically count as staying at the party, but he had been hesitant to exploid that particular loophole. Just imagining the disappointment in Ortho's eyes made him feel like trash.
Another quick check at the time let him know that he was one minute closer to his goal.
“Just 34 minutes, Idia. You can do this, you can do this,” he muttered for himself. He could do this. For Ortho.
“IDIA, IS THAT YOU? JAMIL, LOOK, IDIA IS HERE! LET'S GO SAY HI!” a terrifyingly cheerful voice announced.
Couch Vargas would have been proud of the speed with which Idia ran towards the hallway.
Idia only stopped his impromptu sprint when he assumed he had put a safe distance between him and the level 4 extroverted hazard. It was just a coincidence that was also the moment when he had run out of stamina, really!
When he finally felt like his heart wasn't about to burst out of his chest, Idia took a few moments to appreciate his surroundings. He was familiar enough with Ramshackle’s setup, not through any IRL explorations, of course, but maaaaybe he had mapped the whole school with a drone to replicate it in magi-craft with Ortho during their first year. The building looked completely different after all the renovations it had gone through, but the main structure was basically the same. After a few seconds, Idia was able to determine his location. Maybe his stamina stats were near zero, but he had a pretty decent navigation sense, thank you very much.
Sadly, another thing Idia had was the hazardous habit of walking while looking at his tablet.
“EEK!”
“Ouch!”
The fall was awfully cliché. Idia saw everything happen in slow mo, with pink sparkly filters and all that bullshit. Azul's lips forming a delicate “o” of surprise. His pale hair and the ceiling light shaping the illusion of an angel-like halo framing his face. Their faces getting closer and closer and closer, until their lips were almost touching when Idia's back hit the ground.
It was a good thing that he could blame the weight of Azul on him for his sudden shortness of breath, and the scare of the fall for the erratic beating of his heart.
How had he ended up as the protagonist of one of the most cliché shōjo tropes? Had he hit his head during the fall, and his crush on top of him was just a hallucination? It must be, because, otherwise, why hasn't Azul moved?
Facing this unknown, terrifying situation, Idia’s programming only had two available responses. Freezing or running. He needed a few seconds to let the panic actually settle in…
But when he tried to hit the sprint button, his body didn't respond.
It wasn't just Azul's weight preventing his escape. It was like he'd been hit by a stun ray—something for which he would have had plenty of debuffs if this had been an MMORPG.
"I don't want to make a deal!" Idia blurted. It seemed like locking the sprint option had unlocked ‘rambling nonsense’ as a new available response. "So we can go our separate ways, and…”
“What do you think I'm trying to do? I can't move,” Azul huffed. “I assume it is the same for you?”
Idia tried to move again, this time, being actually conscious of his own body (while trying not to be about the heat of Azul's on top of him). Yup, it had not been his panic stricken imagination. From the waist down, he was actually frozen on the spot.
“Of course. Of course this would happen to me the only time I let myself be dragged into a party. This is exactly why I don't leave my room,” he grumbled under his breath.
“I will take that as a yes,” Azul replied, rolling his eyes. “It's probably a curse. It shouldn't be so hard to remove,” he mused. This time, it sounded like he was just talking to himself.
“Who the hell goes randomly cursing people on Christmas?” Idia whined. He tried to see if there was someone nearby, laughing at their disgrace. It didn't seem like it, but it was hard to tell with his limited vision field.
“We will find out later. Now, can you reach my magipen? It's to your right.”
Idia took a glance at the object. It was 200% out of his physical range. His own pen was even farther away. Luckily for them, summoning objects was a piece of cake for Idia. Sure, using magic without a gemstone was ill advised, but it was a simple spell, and Idia's own personal curse made him immune to overblot.
Azul's expression of surprise when both pens reached his hand gave him a little rush.
“Whee hee hee. Easy Peasy.”
“Okay, I must admit that was a little bit impressive. Now, can you remove the curse?”
“Sure, sure. This will be like defeating a level 1 minion.”
It was not like defeating a level 1 minion. As soon as Idia tried to cast the spell, a violent electric shock on his hand made him yelp and drop his pen.
“What was that?”
“The curse has a p-aggressive anti malware software installed.”
“Can you try again?”
“If you don't believe me, you can try your luck,” Idia replied with irritation.
“No, thank you. Despite your supine attitude, you're a highly capable mage. If you're saying you can't undo this curse, I will take your word.”
“I'm not saying I can't. I could if we had fewer limited resources-”
“But we don't. So, let's look for an alternative.”
Despite knowing that it would be useless, Idia tried to move again. It was useless indeed; they were frozen on the spot. And using magic didn't seem to be an option. Who the hell would pull something like this? And why? Idia tried to explore his surroundings, looking for any clue that could lead them closer to an answer. And, after a more meticulous inspection of the object hanging in the doorway, the reason why became pretty obvious.
These kinds of practical jokes were another reason why Idia hated parties.
“Someone put a curse on the mistletoe,” Idia grumbled under his breath.
“Jade,” Azul stated in a voice that promised violence.
“Isn't this the kind of chaotic bullshit Floyd would pull, though?” Idia wondered.
He felt a bit surprised when he realized he had said it out loud. He had the bad habit of mumbling his internal monologues, sure, but with Azul, he tended to end up engaged in actual conversations . The surprise was that, this time, they were not talking about games or something Idia was passionate about. No, this time he was technically insulting one of the two most terrifying members of Octavinelle.
“No. Floyd would not set up something this elaborate if he's not going to be here to enjoy it. This has Jade's signature written all over it. In bold letters.” After thinking about it more thoroughly, he added, “well, Floyd could have cursed the mistletoe and then forgotten about it. But I'm 99% sure this is Jade's doing.”
“Then can’t you just… call your vice and ask him to remove the curse?”
“As if he would do that,” Azul grumbled.
“Isn't he your lackey or something like that? Shouldn't he follow your orders?”
“You’ve got it wrong. Jade does what he wants. I would say he's worse than Floyd, actually. Besides, I don't want to give him the satisfaction of finding me in this position.”
That made two of them.
“What about Ortho? I find it strange that it's not here already. I thought he had a sensor that detects when you are panicking to rush to your help.”
“We adjusted the parameters after the fifth or so time he dropped a club meeting because I had a mild panic attack in the store.” Idia cringed at how pathetic that sounded. Well, Azul already knew what brand of boyfailure he was so, nothing to lose here.
“Well. That's unfortunate.”
“I could call him. My tablet works with voice commands but…” Idia thought about Ortho appearing just to leave him hanging after saying something like ‘Nii-san, this is the perfect chance to make a move on your crush!’ The mental image made him shudder. No, thanks.
“I guess you’d find it embarrassing being found in this position by your little brother?” Azul offered.
“Yup. Absolutely. I would die of shame,” Idia replied, leaching to the offered excuse.
“Not ideal, but I can understand that. I guess this is on us, then.”
Idia had heard of these types of spells before. Bewitched mistletoe was a rare trope, but it had been used in both Pixie Cat Girls: Fight For Freedom and Dashing Through the Snow: Clash of the Ice Maidens 2. And in fanfic, of course.
And, just like in the manga (and the anime adaption), Azul started to say something else, but the words were white noise in Idia's head, until Azul’s face started to get closer, and closer… and then, Azul headbutted him.
“OUCH!? What the hell was that?”
“I was asking you if you agree that the most efficient solution is to kiss.”
“T-to k-kiss?”
“Yes, kissing. That's how the mistletoe tradition works, isn't it?”
“I mean, that's the classic trope but-”
“Just say yes or no. I would appreciate getting the answer today, if you don't mind.”
And what were the options, really? He didn't want to spend the whole night on Ramshackle's floor, thank you very much. Besides the risk of being caught like that and becoming the laughing stock of the whole school, his back was already starting to hurt. And, even if the embarrassment of kissing Azul made him combust and die on the spot, kissing his drop-dead-gorgeous crush wasn't the worst way to go.
“O-okay. Yes, I will do it.”
Was it Idia's imagination, or was Azul blushing a little?
“Perfect, then. On the count of three?”
“S-sure.”
“Okay. One.”
Oh Sevens. It was going to happen. It was going to happen. What should Idia do? Close his eyes? Leave them open?
“Two.”
Hell. Had he brushed his teeth? Yes, he had, Ortho had reminded him. He had been sipping some tangerine flavored soda, but it couldn't taste so bad, right? He hoped it didn't. And, oh, oh, oh, Azul’s cute pink tongue made a fleeting, blink-and-you-miss-it (good thing Idia was not blinking) appearance to moisten those gorgeous lips. They looked so, so, soft. Idia was definitely not surviving this.
“Three.”
All the static inside Idia's head turned into white noise when their lips made contact. It was just a quick peck, but at the same time, it was not. The electric shock on his hand had been nothing compared to this . Butterflies in the stomach, fire on his lips, a nitroglycerine fueled motor powering his heart. And then, it was over.
“Idia, can you move?”
Well, not so over, after all.
“Uhhh. No?” He managed to squeak.
Azul frowned. And then, he kissed him again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
Each kiss lasted a bit longer than the last. And with every kiss, Azul's annoyance seemed to grow in direct proportion to Idia's fluster.
“Why isn't it working?” Azul growled after maybe ten or so kisses.
Thinking seemed like a distant possibility for Idia. He felt like all those kisses had melted his brain into a puddle of gross pink goo. But he tried, anyway. For Azul, and for his own pride.
For a programmer, the structure of those spells was pretty basic. Just a combination of multiple conditional “if-then” formulas. Usually the tricky part was discovering those conditions, but, due to the nature of the cursed object, the rest was extremely easy to intuit. His own legs had definitely moved a bit, probably while they were kiss- When their lips were touching.
Idia’s eyes widened in horror the second he understood the trick.
“You also got it, right? It seems like we can only move freely while we're kissing.”
“And how are we supposed to do that while you're lying on top of me!” Idia shrieked.
“Coordination,” Azul replied, face full of determination.
Idia burst out laughing.
“Care to tell me what's so funny?” Azul hissed, frowning. His expression only made Idia laugh harder.
“Coordination? Dude, we're doomed.”
“I refuse to give up without trying. And, can you stop laughing? The last thing we need right now is drawing unwanted attention.”
Idia tried to stop, he really did, but the situation was so absurd and Azul’s pouty face was so off character for him… Idia just couldn’t stop laughing.
So Azul shut him up the only way he physically could. With a new kiss.
It was extremely efficient.
Calling it a kiss was being generous. It had been just a short, blink-and-you-miss it peck, still, Idia, who hadn't even had the time to mentally prepare this time, needed a few seconds to reboot.
“Why. Why. Why did you-” Idia stuttered, face and hair bright pink.
“It was the only way I had to make you shut up! We don't need to attract an audience,” Azul excused himself. He was also blushing.
“Atleastgivemeawarningnextti-”
“My warning was asking you to shut up. Now, can you listen to my plan, so we can get out of here before we end up on someone's magicam?”
Idia let out a sigh. Taking that as a ‘yes,’ Azul explained his idea.
When Azul finished, Idia was completely pink again.
A more athletic pair maybe could have pulled something like trying to get up while kissing. Idia and Azul could never, not even in their wildest dreams. So, the most viable option was rolling on the floor until they were out of the mistletoe’s range.
Rolling on the floor while kissing. Idia felt like he was going to combust just thinking about it.
“Let's roll to the left… Well, my left, your right. You will have to push most of both our weights until you're on top of me… and maybe when you're on top, too, since your arms are longer. Hopefully, moving ten or so centimeters will be enough. Are you ready?”
“Yes?” No.
“Okay, then. Again, at the count of three. One.”
Having already tasted Azul's lips should've made this less nerve-wracking, but it didn't.
“Two.”
Idia took a deep breath. He survived the first time. He would survive again. And, after the whole ordeal was done, he would run straight to his room, lack of stamina be damned, and scream into his pillow.
Then, Azul's eyes dipped to his lips, before he started to get closer, and nope, he was not going to survive. Goodbye, Ortho. Please, delete all my encrypted folders when I'm gone.
The number “three” was just the ghost of a whisper, caressing Idia's lips.
Azul sighed when their lips made contact, and forget about butterflies, this time Idia had a whole circus in his stomach.
He needed a few seconds to remember that they were supposed to be moving. It was hard, he felt like his arms and legs had turned into jelly, but somehow, he pushed at the same time as Azul, and the impulse made them switch their positions almost violently.
They both yelped. At the same time. When their mouths were still touching.
Idia’s heart must have finally exploded. That was the only logical explanation, because, if the chemicals in his brain weren't making shit up to make his death less scary, what was the explanation for Azul's hungry sight before his hands gripped at his hair to pull him closer?
It was messy. They were both obviously inexperienced, so that was to be expected. But at the same time, it was glorious. The rush that Azul's tongue gave him when it brushed the roof of his mouth was 100000 times better than beating a final boss in extra hard mode.
Somehow, he gathered the courage to kiss back. That made Azul grow more aggressive and, in response, Idia's competitive spark lit up. Maybe this was not a game, but he was not going to lose.
When they parted, it was because they were both out of breath. Idia didn't even notice that they were able to move freely until a whole minute later, when he noticed he was curling his toes.
“I think. I think we can move now?”
Idia’s words broke the metaphorical spell, and he wanted to kick himself for that. Azul started to squirm under Idia, trying to get up despite the weight still on top of him. Clumsily, Idia started to get up, too. His whole body was shaking, and that almost made him fall on top of Azul again.
“We won't tell anyone about this,” Azul stated when they were both finally on their feet.
It felt like a slap in the face.
“Of course. Who in their right mind would want to have the whole school gossipping about how they had to suck face with NRC's biggest loser over a stupid Christmas prank.” Idia mumbled, trying to laugh it off, to pretend it did not hurt.
Azul frowned.
“I am not saying that. Don't put words into my mouth. I just don't want to give Jade the satisfaction of knowing that he managed to put me in a predicament thanks to his shenanigans. I would end up strangling him, and that would be awful for my business.” Then he took a deep breath and, in a calmer—almost shy?— voice, he added: “Besides, some things are better when kept private. That's more… tasteful, don't you agree?”
There was something, maybe on the way in which Azul said the word ‘tasteful,’ maybe on how he used the small pause to wet his lips with his tongue. It made Idia feel less shitty and more… something else he preferred to not dwell in right now.
Was Azul suggesting that he... no. Idia wasn't the main character in a shōjo manga. Azul was probably just saying what he thought Idia wanted to hear. Which, good luck with that, because not even Idia knew what Idia wanted to hear.
“We should go back to the party, before someone notices we're missing.”
Okay, that was definitely not it.
“No, thanks. I’ve had enough emotions for one night. I'm going back to my room and not leaving until next year.”
“Do as you please, then. See you at the next club meeting?”
“Yeah. Sure.”
Was it Idia's imagination, or did it seem like Azul wanted to say something else? Probably Idia’s imagination, since, after quickly fixing his hair and clothes with a spell, Azul turned around and walked down the hall without looking back.
As the Octavinelle housewarden walked away, Idia realized that he would have to go the same way to say goodbye to his brother and leave the party. Not wanting to get himself in another awkward situation when he had just exited one, he decided to wait a few minutes. He needed the time to collect himself, after all.
Just thinking about what just happened made him wanna squeal. A secluded loser like him was definitely not built to handle so many emotions… but, in spite of that, a little part of him was glad he'd let Ortho force him into coming to this dumb party.