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"Nezumi..."
The thespian knew that tone, and he raised the copy of Hamlet in his hands slightly higher to cover more of his face.
"Not listening."
"But Nezumi..." Shion tried again, crawling farther up the bed on his elbows. "Have you ordered your..." he trust a leaflet of paper over the pages of Hamlet, leaving Nezumi no choice but to spare it at least a glance, "... Girl Scout cookies yet this year??"
Nezumi made an exasperated noise, half sigh and half groan, lowering his book. "Shion, we live in a bakery," he said flatly. "Why on earth would I be interested in paying five dollars for—five dollars for a box?! That's highway robbery! I will not—!"
"Don't be so cold, Nezumi!" Shion pleaded, pulling himself half into his boyfriend's lap despite the other's objections. "Think of the children!"
"Children or otherwise, I'm not letting anyone bleed me dry," Nezumi replied. "Much less for something that I can get unlimited quantities of for free by simply strolling down a flight of stairs and smiling charmingly at your mother."
Shion pouted. "Please?" he begged. "I promised Lily that I'd help her make her goal of 500 boxes!"
"500," Nezumi repeated disbelievingly, and Shion nodded enthusiastically.
"If she hits 500, she gets this huge stuffed elephant that she's just convinced will look perfect in her room!"
"And you said you'd help her."
"I already got Rikiga to buy fifty boxes," Shion informed him slyly, and Nezumi smacked the top of his head. "Ow!"
"What did you do to accomplish that?" he asked flatly. "Pose for the pervert for his supposed 'photography project?'" The boy made exaggerated air-quotes.
"N-no, Nezumi!" Shion covered his head with his arms. "I just... you know... batted my eyes a couple of times..."
Nezumi smacked him again. "Don't encourage that filthy fool."
"But he did buy fifty boxes!" Shion pointed out.
A grin made Nezumi's lips curl up in a nefarious sort of way. "So if Rikiga got a few flirty looks, what would you do to get me to buy fifty boxers of overpriced cookies?"
Shion flushed scarlet. "I-I..." he began, but didn't get any farther for Nezumi's mouth getting in the way.
"Charm me, Majesty," he murmured, between kisses, "and then we'll talk cookies."
If the truth was told, Shion ended up more charmed than Nezumi, and the subsequent tryst resulted in exactly zero boxes of cookies being bought.
... ... ...
"Unless you're selling dog biscuits, don't even try."
Nezumi gave a harsh laugh at Inukashi's rebuttal, but Shion wasn't daunted.
"I might not have dog biscuits, but I do have delicious shortbread!" he offered, and Inukashi huffed. "100% safe for canine consumption!"
"And a disaster for the arteries, I'm sure," the other replied. "Now run along, Scout."
"I'll make you a sweet deal," Shion said, all game-face, and Nezumi snorted. "For every box of cookies you buy, I'll hook you up with a bag of the dog biscuits my mom sells at her bakery—five homemade biscuits per bag."
Nezumi rolled his eyes, but was startled to see that Inukashi was actually looking quite thoughtful.
"... The kind with the sprinkles on top?" they verified.
Shion nodded emphatically.
With an exaggerated groan, Inukashi held out their hand. "You drive a hard bargain, Kid. Put me down for ten boxes of shortbread, then. And those biscuits better be fresh out'a the oven."
"You've got my personal guarantee!" Shion grinned, shaking the other's hand as Nezumi stared in disbelief. As Inukashi walked away, he shook his head and glanced at Shion.
"What do you think—rumors are true?"
"Huh?"
"That that wacko eats dog biscuits."
"Nezumi!"
"What? They looked awfully excited to be buying treats for their mutts..."
"Nezumi, don't be mean!" Shion objected. "Besides, they just bought ten boxes of cookies, which is ten more than you can claim to have!"
"They're ten times the fool I am, then," Nezumi huffed, ruffling Shion's hair briefly and then turning away. Shion pouted after him for a moment, but then went the other way in search of more cookie customers.
... ... ...
"Shion, you are officially getting in the way of me doing my job."
"If you can't take the heat..." the other replied coyly, using his cookie-order sheet to hide half his face like a fan. He had just managed to sell three boxes to a bakery customer, who had then politely declined Nezumi's up-sell on the basis of having just bought cookies.
"This doesn't even make sense!" It was the third up-sell that had gone such a way in as many up-sells. "You're selling overpriced boxed cookies, and I'm selling reasonably priced fresh-out-of-the-oven cookies!"
"It's the charm factor," Shion teased. In reality, Nezumi had always been able to charm practically anything out of any customer, but it just seemed to be Shion's day.
The bell on the door jingled, and suddenly both boys were alert and on their game. Shion, all sweet smiles and submissive posture, interrupted the customer at the door.
"Excuse me, Ma'am, if you have a moment?" he asked, and she smiled dazedly.
"O... Of course."
"I'm helping a good friend of mine sell Girl Scout cookies this year, and I would be so grateful if you'd help her reach her goal! Every box helps and I promise—they're the best cookies you'll have all year."
"Well..." the woman began uncertainly, but Shion had already spread out the order form.
"What's your fancy, Ma'am?" he asked, flashing a darling smile. "I've got creamy peanut butter over buttery shortbread and draped in chocolate; I've got this marvelous coconut and caramel creation; I've got the old standby—a thin mint wafer cookie in rich dark chocolate... what's your favorite?"
"M-My... my favorite is the coconut..." the woman admitted, and Shion's smile widened.
"Fantastic! Those are my favorite, too!" As were the peanut butter; as were the mint; as were the shortbread. "So how many can I put you down for, then?"
"Just... one or two..."
Shion's smile turned coy. "I won't tell anyone if you want to order three, I promise."
The woman laughed slightly. "Alright," she said breathlessly, and Shion beamed at her.
"Thank you so much! You've helped to make a little girl—and me!—very, very happy."
"You stole half those lines from me," Nezumi complained dryly from behind the counter, after that same customer had turned down his best attempts to get her to buy an extra half-dozen sweet rolls.
And Shion only smiled at him. "I suppose we know now who really has the charm to pull them off, then."
... ... ...
Such things went on for nearly two weeks, in which Shion managed to wrangle together a whopping 346 cookie sales. Nezumi was ready to congratulate him when he came back from his meeting with Lily to turn in his order sheet, even going so far as to have snagged a cherry cake from the display case earlier in the day for celebratory purposes.
He wasn't expecting the utterly dejected Shion who trudged through the door.
"We're 19 boxes short," he announced numbly, and then flopped onto his bed face-first. "19."
Blinking and momentarily uncertain, Nezumi sat beside him and rubbed between his shoulder blades in small, soothing circles. "You did your best," he pointed out. "I'll bet she'll still be the top seller in her troupe."
Shion made a noncommittal noise into the mattress, and Nezumi laughed softly.
"C'mon," he murmured close to Shion's ear, then peppered his hair with kisses. "It isn't that important, really. A plush elephant? She'd probably lose interest in something like that before the year was up."
But Shion still didn't look up, and eventually fell asleep in that same, utterly defeated position. He had run himself ragged, after all, selling cookies for the past two weeks. So Nezumi gently lifted him into a more suitable sleeping position, tucked the blankets up around his shoulders, and switched off the lights on his way out of the room.
... ... ...
The dark-haired boy crawled into the bed he shared with his beloved several hours later, and Shion stirred at his arrival.
"... ere've you been...?" he asked sleepily. Nezumi only pulled him close and snuggled into him.
"Nowhere important," he replied. "Go back to sleep, Majesty."
And Shion, perhaps not qualifiable as awake to begin with, obeyed.
... ... ...
"Shion!! Big Brother Shion!!"
"Hmm?" the boy looked up from his breakfast, Nezumi sipping his own coffee calmly. "Lily?"
The girl's smile was so huge that it seemed in danger of tearing her cheeks. "I made it—I made goal!! Someone ordered 20 boxes last night! They left a note on my door!"
Shion's face burst into a smile. "That's wonderful!" he exclaimed, jumping to his feet. He scooped Lily up and danced around for a moment, holding the girl high. "I'm so proud of you!"
"I couldn't have done it without you!" she replied and, when he set her down, hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Shion! Thank you so much!"
Once the girl had left, Shion was still glowing. And Nezumi could finally say, as he had meant to the night before, "Congratulations."
Shion rewarded him with a radiant smile. "Thanks! Though... I wonder who that final sale was...?"
And Nezumi simply shrugged, taking another swig of his coffee, saying sorely, "Probably one of my customers who'll only buy half their usual order today because of it."
... ... ...
Cookies—as well as prizes, stuffed elephant included—arrived approximately a month later. And once again Shion was busy, this time helping Lily distribute the 501 boxes of cookies they had sold. Nezumi, after some finagling and guilt-tripping and eyelash-batting from His Majesty, was also roped into helping with some of the larger orders. But he didn't complain as much as one might expect.
"And here it is!" Lily announced, at the tail end of the third day of cookie deliveries. "The last order! The address they put down..."
Shion's eyes widened. "But... that's..."
"Do you know who it is?" Lily asked excitedly, even as Shion groped for a chair and sat down heavily—lest he fall down. Then, after a moment of stunned silence, the boy burst out laughing.
"That... that stupid... softhearted..."
And so Shion made the final delivery—to his own address.
"I heard someone at this address ordered twenty boxes of Girl Scout cookies?" he called, after knocking on his own bedroom door.
"Must be a mistake," came the grumpy reply from within. "If you haven't noticed, we live in a bakery with an unlimited supply of infinitely superior cookies."
"This is the address that was on the order sheet," Shion called back. "By Girl Scout Law I have to follow through with the delivery."
There was an exaggerated, put-upon sigh from inside the room. "Fine, fine. If you insist."
Shion, laughing softly, opened the door and pushed inside. Nezumi was sprawled casually in the bed, a book in his hands and a disinterested expression.
"I didn't order those," he said, with a straight face.
"And yet they just so happen to be your favorites?" Shion asked in awe. "What a coincidence!"
At last Nezumi cracked a smile. "Coincidence indeed."
Shion dumped the cookies beside the bed in favor of climbing up beside his boyfriend, wrapping his arms tightly around Nezumi's neck despite the other's protests. "You're such a softy, you know that?"
"Get off me."
"But you haven't even let me show my gratitude!" Shion protested, and used the element of surprise to flip Nezumi onto his back. His book hit the floor.
"Gratitude?" Nezumi echoed, and then smirked. "Giving me my money's worth, you mean."
"You're sexy when you're sweet," Shion informed him. "Don't wreak it by saying stupid things." And then, as if to prevent anything else stupid from coming out of his boyfriend's mouth, he pressed their lips together; felt Nezumi smile against the kiss.
"As you command, Your Highness."