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It was a beautiful day on the surface. Monsters have been freed for almost five years now. Everyone was settling into their new lives, and getting used to the freedoms they did not have prior. The atmosphere surrounding monsters was definitely lighter, happier, and more optimistic. The future was looking bright for everyone.
There was a feeling that hit Sans like a stab to the gut. He knew why. He did not want to address or confront it, however. Now was not the time for his sulking and brooding. He had other priorities.
Waking up had to be the worst of it all. Waking up knowing he had lost something he never had, but had the chance to receive at one point in his life. At that point he turned down, out of fear, and out of uncertainty. Whether he regrets making that decision is debatable. He moves on with his life, mostly not looking back on it, not seeing as to why he should live in regret. But on days like these, especially this day specifically, the regret is seeping into him harder than ever.
He woke up from a relatively good dream, only for reality to hit him all too similarly once he woke up. Checking the date and time, the actuality of what was going to happen today felt like psychological torture. He was considering making a run for it, cancelling at the last minute, making up some excuse not to arrive, or just flaking altogether. But he could not do that. Not on this day. Not to someone this important to him.
Sans realized there would be no benefit to trying to get out of this. So he went. The whole event was an out of body experience. All his friends and those who knew him were there. They seemed happy. That was good at least. He did not know how to feel, watching his best friend up there. Were they even best friends? Maybe it was a one-sided thing.
He should be happy. He should be joyous for his friend. For the person that spent many nights listening to him, allowing him to confide in them, and the person that promised to never share any of his secrets with anyone. This was supposed to be the happiest day of their life, and Sans could not even reciprocate the joy.
How selfish. How utterly selfish that all he could think about was himself, and what could have been. How all these memories that they shared together seemed to evaporate into nothing, as his friend moved onto their own life, leaving him behind.
But that was alright. He did this to himself. Sans knew this was his fault. And yes, it was selfish of him to yearn for something he turned down, he knew this. All he could do now was suffer the consequences. All he could do was watch as an unfamiliar face walked down the aisle. A rather round faced calico tomcat, in a nice navy blue suit, walked down the aisle with confidence in his stride and a huge smile on his face.
He looked back at his friend, who, to a stranger, seemed nonchalant and emotionless about the whole ordeal. But Sans knew that this was the opposite. Sans could feel the exhilaration radiating off his friend. Sans knew how happy they were.
He could see the love and admiration in his friend’s eyes. The love and admiration that was once reserved for him at a time in both their lives. The love that no longer belonged to him, but to another. He could feel the corner of his eye sockets beginning to sting. He assured himself he was happy for his companion. That he shared this happiness with them. That this was all going to be worth it in the end. Because Sans never makes any wrong decisions and that everything happens for a reason. And that this was going to be the best thing that happened to either of them. And that he prevented his friend from having to deal with him for the rest of their lives. He knew deep down that their relationship would have been regretted by the other party had they gone through with it. Sans knew he was too much to handle. Sans knew that this was the best outcome for the both of them. That they could not have been happy together, and that the right thing to do was to let go.
But the worst of it, the worst of it hit when that kiss was shared. A simple yet compassionate kiss was shared for about less than a second. But it was not the kiss that left an impact on Sans, it was the look on Grillby’s eyes as he looked longingly at his new husband. It was that look that let Sans know that his relationship with Grillby has been changed forever.
Their intimate moments where he confided in Grillby, and he listened. The shared smiles and laughs, as well as the times they would just sit in silence and hold each other. All those moments where Sans could finally open up to another person, who, although, could not relate or share the sentiment, still sat there and sympathized. All their talk of future plans and what to do once they got to the surface.
All of this now meant nothing. It was nothing more than a distant memory to Grillby. Maybe even a learning experience at most, one that he could look back on fondly. But to Sans, these shared experiences were so much more to him than that. He wanted to scream, shout, even interrupt the wedding and object to it, in hopes that Grillby would run away with him. But he knew this would never happen. Things were never meant to be.
The meal afterwards felt like a blur. Many people tried to talk to Sans throughout the party, but he would end up responding dryly, which killed the chance for any conversation to happen. The dances were starting, and he had wished that they would skip the dance between one of the grooms and his best man, but they did not.
With the awkward height distance, they tried their best to make it work. They opted for Sans holding Grillby by his waist, and Grillby holding Sans by his shoulders. It wasn’t perfect but what else could they have done.
“... I’m really glad you came…”
“yeah?”
“... I would have understood if you decided not to. In fact, I already had appointed someone in your place had you decided to call in sick…”
“oh. man, you uh, know me really well, grillbz.”
“... I suppose…”
“i’m sorry you thought i wasn’t gonna show up.”
“... No worries. Just wanted to be as prepared as possible. I didn’t know if you were going to wake up or not…”
“haha yeah.”
Things could not have been more painful for Sans.
“your husband seems really happy.”
“... He is ecstatic. I enjoy watching him socialize with everyone. He really is enjoying himself…”
“he’s good for you. keep him.”
“... I plan to…”
“that’s good. i’m happy for you, man.”
“... Thank you Sans, it means the world…”
And with that, their song ended. Sans went back to sit down with his brother and Frisk. He continued to watch Grillby and his husband alternate between dancing with people. He exchanged a few words with Papyrus before everything else transitioned into a blur for the rest of the night.
It was already dark out. Sans needed air.
He sat down outside on one of the steps leading into the chapel. At least this day was finally coming to an end, and he could move on with his life unbothered. Maybe he’ll meet someone. Maybe he’ll meet someone and Papyrus could be his best man and Grillby could show up to the wedding with a gift. Maybe the gift would be something like a mixer or two aprons that fit Sans and his spouse. Grillby was thoughtful like that. And he’d share a dance with Grillby, as they would be happy with their own spouses. Perhaps they’d grow distant, but that would be okay. Every time they would catch up afterwards would make them feel like time has not passed at all.
Everything would be okay. Sans could find a nice guy to start talking to. Maybe he could ask Frisk to show him how dating apps worked. Whether he was interested in dating apps was up to debate. But hey, might as well. There’s plenty of fish in the sea after all, or whatever Undyne would tell him. His mind was drifting, as he was coming up with every imaginary scenario where he and Grillby did not end up together but still ended up happy in the long run.
Everything was going to be alright.
Sans heard the creaking of a large door and footsteps behind him.
A familiar human, who had aged a fair amount, sat next to him.
“don’t ask me why i’m out here.”
The human stared at him, not questioning what he said.
“i think i just needed air.”
An unamused look was shot his way.
“no, really. i did.”
A shrug followed that statement and the human did not question him once more.
“grillbz is going to be alright. he’s got a good person to take care of him.”
Frisk nodded.
“a person who could make him happier than i ever could.”
Frisk stopped, shooting Sans a deeply sad look.
“don’t look at me like that. things are better this way.”
He suddenly felt smaller arms wrap around him as best as they could, making an effort not to wrinkle his nice black suit. Sans did not care anymore. He could not hold his composure any longer. Heavy tears flowed down his face as he wrapped his arms back around Frisk. The human could feel their nice dress shirt being stained, but dared not to move. Not a word was said as Sans sobbed and cried into Frisk’s shoulder. There was only bittersweet understanding and a deep sorrow shared between them.
Sans choked between tears, “things will be alright.”