Work Text:
{text from Josh egotistic asswipe<3}
Neku, I need to talk to you, ASAP.
{Neku} Yeah, Josh? What is it?
I..I just need to talk to you. Meet me at Hachi?
Actually..I can’t, I have company soon and I can’t get too sweaty. Flash in my room with your Composer powers?
S-sure.
Joshua flashed in with a ray of blue that lit up the room, Neku wasn’t phased at all. He was too busy putting his shirt on, his hair still wet from a quick shower. A little curve on his spine, Josh noticed long ago, the way his shoulder blades move as he works his shirt on his body.. Joshua would miss it, really. He was too preoccupied on his back to even notice he was only in his boxers, and they hung a little..low.
Neku turned around with a sigh, raking both hands on the side of his head through his orange hair. His shirt lifted up along the way, revealing the little patch of hair that stretched into his boxers, the brunette fuzz Josh’s nose got too close to too many times. (Neku died his hair, Josh learned awhile ago. Hair gel and hair dye? Hah, those things probably gave Neku a guilty hard-on.)
“What was it, sweetheart?” Neku asked, his arms folded across his chest.
That stunned Joshua for a moment, knocking him back into harsh reality. He was sitting on Neku’s bed already, so he just locked his knees together and set his hands on his thighs. “Well, I was thinking.. This summer’s going to be pretty hectic, right?”
The ginger wasn’t following, but he nodded. “..Right..?”
Joshua clicked his lips, “and I’m the Composer. You know, I have responsibilities outside of our control.”
“I know..” Neku creased his brows, still not following.
“Well, I just think it’s best if we break up.”
You’re straight to the point, Mr. Yoshiya Kiryu.
“W-What?” Neku’s eyebrows shot up, totally a deer in the headlights kind of thing.
Josh smirked. He put on one of his signature smirks, damn him. “Oh, I think you heard me, dear.”
Neku was outraged, and honestly, who wouldn’t be? “So, this was your plan? Rip the bandage off and then fucking goof off about it, with that smile of yours and then spit and call me “dear” once more? Just for the hell of it? Real fucking classy.”
“Oh please don’t get so overdramatic, Neku. It’s just a break up. Not like you haven’t done the same to anyone before, it’s nothing new to your kind. It’s just letting go, really.” Josh sighed, Neku was a piece of work, and enigma he could never figure out.
Neku cracked, a tear falling out of his eye. Only a tear, though, Joshua didn’t deserve any more out of him, even when he was shot again. In honesty, he’d rather be shot and have that over this, this hurt worse. “This is different.”
Ah, so Josh knew where Neku was going with this! The whole lovey-dovey thing. “Yeah yeah, it hurts and all but it’ll be better for the both of us. I mean, it started ruining my complexion. I hope it’s not too much freeing you.” Neku was still befuddled at him, biting at his lip violently as to cage in anger. “If it helps, I’m open to still having sex with you, it’s just.. relationships are too much.”
“I don’t want your damn blowjobs,” he spat finally, his face cringing along with it. “I want you.”
“But what’s the price? I’m going to fall apart soon with work and I can’t burden you with it. Besides, you know you just want to have fun in the backseat with me, I can see it as you’re staring at me now. ‘S not a big deal, Neku, you seriously don’t have to blow it into one.”
Josh was so..lenient about this. But the great deity has done this a million times, right? Fired his coworkers. Shouldn’t be hard letting a petty proxy go, should it?
“Fine, I won’t.” Neku lied through his teeth, but he’s such a good faker not even Josh would notice. Sometimes it was handy, sometimes that broke him.
Josh smiled again. “Good.”
“Good.”
That was the last thing before Joshua got up and kissed Neku on the cheek, notably the one that didn’t have tears all over it, and waved his hand in a ‘So long, partner’ fashion before hopping out the window. For the last time, Neku hoped.
“Phones, you need to calm down,” Beat said as he beat Neku once again in Tin Pin Slammer, winning yet another bet against him. Neku loved bets, but today..he wasn’t winning. Too distracted.
“Shut the hell up and pass me another pin.” Neku snapped through his high collar, cracking his knuckles and then rubbing his hands together, way too eager to lose once again. He just needed to do something..
“Neku, are you sure? You’re down 1200 yen already..” Shiki said, her brunette hair bouncing back the lights in the room.
“Y’know, she’s right,” Rhyme nodded, standing at about Shiki’s height now. Man, puberty was being great to her, Neku noticed. Beat noticed it. Beat wasn’t happy about it, of course, but he obviously couldn’t stop it.
Neku grunted, his orange locks bobbing in the air. Nobody knew about the Josh situation, nobody knew they were dating. They never got much time to talk around the gang anyways, Joshua started picking up on work rather quickly this past year. “I don’t care, seriously. I’ll get the money somehow, just let me continue playing. I have..to beat Beat.”
“Beat Beat.” Shiki snickered, holding Mr. Mew’s paw loosely.
“Neku… you’re in a lot of debt already, it’s not worth it. Seriously.”
“Fuck it being worth it! Some things in life aren’t worth all the trouble you put into them, but you still do it.” Neku tensely said, with the angel in the back of his mind. His eyebrows creased and after a second, he glanced over to Beat, who looked like he was done with the games.
“Hey… Phones, let me talk to you outside, if that’s alright?”
Neku glanced over to Shiki and Rhyme, and swallowed. “That’s alright, Beat.”
They walked outside into the crowded abyss that was Shibuya, and Beat slapped him upside the shoulder. “Hey man, what’s going on? You seem really tense about the games and all. Are you okay?”
Neku picked at a point in his ginger hair and sighed, “I’m okay, Beat. I think I just really need to go home.”
“...Phones, it’s only the afternoon on a Saturday. C’mon, lean back, tell ol’Beat what’s wrong, and we can go back inside. It’s not like life’s over, with whatever you’re dealing with.”
Neku still didn’t want to tell him, but at this point, he wanted to talk. But he didn’t want to tell Shiki, because she wouldn’t understand, and Rhyme would just repeat Ernest Hemingway quotes, and Beat was the only one who could give him man-to-man advice. So after a couple more seconds of messing with his hair, and gathering his clouded thoughts, Neku spoke.
“I’ve been morbidly in love with Josh for as long as I can remember, you know that? I know I don’t exactly seem like the type to get on my knees and go ass-backwards, but I am, at least partially. So Josh and I basically have had this clandestine-like relationship. I can’t say I know when it started, honestly. I can just say where. But the details don’t matter. I’ve never been in love with someone like Josh before, and he broke up with me today. And he told me he’s still be open to fucking me, but that his work is top priority and can’t have a relationship with me anymore. And it pisses me off, because there’s no way he’d be able to have sex with me without whispering things like “I love you, my cherry garden,” in my ear, and him and I both know that. He’s just fucking with me for some game like he did when he shot me, Beat, and it pisses me off! I’m tired of being a proxy, or a pawn, I just want to be an equal!”
Beat stood still the whole time, but Neku gave him a disappointed look to which he knew Beat didn’t have much to say.
“Have you ever thought that Josh is equal? I don’t think he’s ever played a game by himself, without an equal opponent. You know, all those times we’ve had guys nights, or gang days, he’s always treated us equal. I’ve seen some glances he’s given you, but I saw those during the Game, too. I just never thought much about them. But as far as I can see you two are equal- your problems. the way you strategize. Remember that I was your partner, and I’m your friend, too. You and him are two peas in a pod, even if he is a little on the feminine side.”
Neku stayed silent for a minute or two, trying to unpuzzle what Beat just said.
“Is Josh still in love with me like I am him?”
“Probably.”
“So other than the Game…He dumped me, for another game?”
“Looks like it. And your options are…”
“Play and win, or play and lose.”
“Or Phones.. you could just, not play.”
Neku bit his lip and pondered that, but then spoke: “It couldn’t work that way. He can sense me, he can sense my thoughts. He’s otherworldly, with otherworldly powers. I could act like it doesn’t bother me, but he’d know it does.”
“But isn’t everyone that way, Neku? It’s hard to unforget how someone feels. Jus’ he knows everyone.”
“If an ex knows me perfectly, then Josh knows me religiously.”
Beat laughed, “Neku, religion isn’t perfect. You just put faith into something, or you don’t.”
“You’re right. So how am I not supposed to play?”
“I don’t know, Phones. But you gotta. Cause then he’ll be on his toes wanting more.”
Neku and Beat stood there for a good minute, then went back inside like nothing had happened.
And… although something happened, nothing happened. Neku kept it up for a couple weeks, until Josh must have gotten too upset and started taking a form in Neku’s mind. Neku saw him everywhere twice as much, but he had to act like it didn’t affect him. Even though all he wanted to do was text him and tell him to talk to him- talk to him about the old stuff. Like when they first got together and laid on top of the buildings and talked about God, and stars, and sex, and art, and love, and long car rides, and family trauma, and everything every lover talks about when you’re falling. And how much Neku missed feeling Josh’s wings, when Josh wanted to show them off to him. Josh was petty about who got to see his wings, not even Hanekoma had viewed them.
And then Josh was in Neku’s bed, with a bouquet of lavender and orange roses, with one red rose in the center.
“Neku.” Josh spoke first, knowing that Neku wouldn’t, “Do you want the love rant, or the line I really want to say.” It wasn’t a question, and Neku knew so as well.
“Go ahead,”
“You won this game. Take me back, and I’ll put you in priority instead of my job, like you knew you always were.”
“What kind of shitty game happened when I was gone?”
“There wasn’t a game when you were gone. Just me watching you, seeing what you’d do. And you’re really strong, especially on the days when you didn’t know if I’d come back to you or not. I always planned to, it’s just-”
“Today marks a month after you broke up with me.”
“Exactly.”
“I know you too well to like you anymore.”
“Whatever, Nekky. Just because you like cats and I like bunnies doesn’t mean this is a good time to quote that Reel Big Fish album.”
“Shut up. You love it and me.” Neku grinned, kissing Josh on the forehead.
“You’re right again, Neku. How did I get so lucky to have you?”
Neku replied in a sing-song voice, “Well… you really shot me,” and Josh grinned, and then Neku kissed him again, and peace was restored.