Work Text:
The only thing that Kunikida Doppo wanted out of the night was sleep. He had had an awfully long case that day in with yet another yet another human trafficking ring. It had taken two days and one night to take the ring down (and get the victims on their way back to their homes), since some of the leaders happened to be ability users.
All in all, it had been a hard day, and Kunikida was exhausted and all he wanted was to sleep. However, that was apparently too much to ask. The second he laid down on his futon, his phone began ringing with the obnoxious ringtone that signaled it was Dazai calling. Kunikida thought about ignoring it, but decided the risks of doing so outweighed the benefits.
(Ideal Vol. 2, page 43, line 17– never ignore Dazai’s calls.)
He muttered angrily under his breath as he grabbed the phone, unplugged it from the charger, and clicked ‘accept call.’ “What?!” He demanded, voice cracking due to his neck being twisted too far to the right.
“Hey, Kuni-kun,” Dazai’s voice cooed. “How’s it hangin’?”
Kunikida pinched the bridge of his nose with a deep sigh. His thumb hovered momentarily over the ‘end call’ icon, but moved away before he clicked it. (Ideal Vol. 3, page 43, line 18– stay on call with Dazai for at least one minute to ensure it’s not an emergency.) “It certainly is not ‘hangin’ very well, since I was supposed to be asleep thirteen minutes and forty-three seconds ago. Why are you calling me?!”
“‘Cause otherwise-“ Dazai’s voice paused for a moment.“-otherwise I’d miss you.”
That sentence was an immediate red flag. Kunikida grabbed his phone, keys and glasses all in one hand and dashed out of his dorm as fast as he could. “Where the hell are you?!”
Dazai giggled. “I can’t tell you, silly. Besides, I’m walking. You’re stupid.”
Kunikida threw open the door to his car as he groaned in growing frustration. “Where are you going?” He corrected as he shoved his key in the ignition, turning on the car’s engine.
Dazai’s voice giggled again over the phone. “You gotta guess.”
The car started with a loud rumble. “Dazai fucking Osamu, listen to me: I do not have time for your bullshit. Tell me where you are so I can come and get you.”
A long pause. “Don’t call me Osamu. It sounds weird.” Another pause. “I’m pretty high up. The water looks nice.”
“Bridge. Got it.” Kunikida nodded to himself as he drove down the quiet street. It was late at night, therefore traffic was minimal; a stroke of good luck given his rush. “I’ll be there in ten minutes. Stay where you are and do not fucking move. Do you understand me?”
“…yes.” His voice was hushed now, almost hesitating to speak.
“Good. I’ll see you soon. And don’t you dare hang up— I’m not leaving you alone.”
Dazai was silent for several minutes as Kunikida drove. Just when the latter was starting to worry, he heard Dazai’s voice again, much quieter than before.
“Where you going, Kunikida?”
Kunikida felt his frustration growing. “I’m coming to get you.”
“Why?”
“To make sure you’re not about to do anything stupid.”
A chuckle came from the other end. “I’m not doing anything stupid. In fact, I think it will solve many problems.”
Kunikida’s brow pinched in confusion as he turned another corner, coming closer to Dazai’s usual bridge. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, lovely. A riddle. What’s Kunikida’s biggest problem that makes it so hard for him to work?”
“…are you going to say it’s you?”
Another chuckle. “So smart.”
“And you’re planning to solve this problem… by killing yourself.”
“Another score! Two for Kunikida, several hundred for Dazai.”
“Is that the reason why?”
This time, Dazai let out an overly dramatic sigh, almost mournful. “Oh, Kunikida, you were doing so well. No, that’s not it at all.”
Can’t this car go faster?
“So what is?” Kunikida asked, tapping his finger impatiently against the steering wheel.
“It’s that I have no reason to live.”
“What?”
“There’s nothing that makes me happy, and no great purpose that I serve. Of course, there’s more to it, but you’re not one of the people who needs to know.”
Kunikida sighed. “So who does know?”
“Slug. Chuuya.”
“He used to be your partner, right?”
“Yes, but…” another long pause. “Never mind. Yes. He was my… partner.”
Kunikida finally reached Dazai’s favorite bridge. With a sigh of relief, he scrambled out of his car. “I’m here to-“ he stopped.
The bridge was empty.
“Look up, Kunikida. A little to the left. There.” Dazai’s voice was hollow now.
There Dazai was, sitting on the roof of a nearby building. The fall would be well beyond high enough to be fatal. It was difficult at first to see him, but once Kunikida knew he was there, he was clearly visible.
“You said you were on this bridge!” Kunikida was shouting now, his voice filled with panic.
“I lied.”
“Why- why would you do that?!”
An empty chuckle sounded from Dazai’s end. “You would have stopped me.”
“That’s the whole point! Why would you call me?!”
There was a long period of silence, lasting almost two minutes. “I wanted to let you know.” Dazai let out a deep sigh. “I’m sick of acting. Let’s just be people for a moment.” There was none of Dazai’s constantly mocking intonation. His voice was flat, lacking any life to it. He sounded so tired. “Kunikida, it was sweet of you and everyone else to try to stop me from dying. But I don’t want you to. I used to search for a reason to live, but… I think after fifteen fruitless years, it’s time to stop.”
“You don’t need a reason to-“
“Shh, shh. It’s alright.” Dazai let out an empty laugh. “You know, today’s my birthday. Nobody knew, except Chuuya. He took me out to dinner. It was nice.” Another pause. “I would have called him, but he would have actually been able to stop me. So, will you do me a favor for him?”
Kunikida hesitated to say anything. “I… I will.”
“Get to know him. I think you two would like each other.”
The figure on top of the building stood up as Kunikida stared helplessly. “Kunikida… I’m glad we worked together.” His voice was beginning to break, almost like he was about to cry. “I hope you do well going forward. And thank you for being my partner.”
The man on top of the building took two steps toward, before he leaned all his weight forward.
Kunikida watched him plummet for just a few seconds, before disappearing behind another building.
All he could hear over the phone was a deafening rush of wind.
Then a loud crash.
Kunikida dropped his own phone, his hand trembling too hard to hold it.
The sound told him all he needed to know.