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The music bounced in Rei's ears as he made his way through the excited Roost customers. Theoretically, he wasn't supposed to be there in the first place since it was his partner Honami's shift, but for the past couple of hours nothing had been going his way.
Around 10pm, he was ready to go to sleep. Early, yes, but he had to take advantage of the few days he was free from work, both at Roost and at the clinic. Stretching out on the bed and tying his pink hair into a bun, he couldn't help but let out a whispered insult when he heard the ringing of his cell phone.
"What's wrong, Taku?"
"Towa's not at Roost?"
"I don't know, me neither. Why?"
He had run off as soon as Taku's words reached him. The man had apparently disappeared a few hours ago, but the doctor hadn't been worried until he entered his apartment and found blood stains and broken mirrors everywhere.
Well, that didn't sound like anything other than one of the stupid things Towa normally did.
But he worried anyway. He couldn't just not do it.
...
By 12am, he had already gone through Roost, the park, the Deathmatch Zone and every place he could think of.
Nothing.
His head was spinning, and he recognized that it was surely a dizzying mix of physical exhaustion, worry and fear.
Getting back on his motorbike, he continued to go around the different neighborhoods of Shinkoumi, hoping to get lucky somewhere.
...
1am. The phone vibrated in his pocket and he slammed on the brakes in the middle of the avenue.
"Just got a call, it was the Roost manager. Towa just showed up there", Taku sounded even more overwhelmed than him, and he swallowed hard when he imagined him in the clinic, worried but unable to leave because he had to take care of his patients.
"That son of a bitch. I'll go."
He accelerated.
...
1:35am. There we were now, with a very angry Rei.
He was furious with Towa. For having suddenly disappeared again, for having taken away his whole night of sleep, for having appeared as if nothing had happened, but above all because even though he knew that the black-haired man didn't want that from him, he couldn't help but worry more and more.
Since some customers were celebrating, Roost was going to be open until late and Towa knew it. He'd gone there because of that, because he'd told him, and that made him even angrier.
Waving sideways to those who recognized him, he found the man in the opposite corner of the bar, leaning against the counter. He was sitting, glass of whiskey in hand while exchanging a few words with the manager.
Without thinking, he walked over and pulled his arm, turning him towards his body. The other had no reaction.
He saw the dried blood stains on his clothes, the cut that ran across his forehead and the bruises on his neck. Almost growling in frustration, he dragged him out of the place. He knew he was acting childish and immature, but he didn't care. He couldn't bear to go through this again.
"What the hell are you doing, Rei!?" Towa asked, with a trace of annoyance in his tone that made the taller man want to punch him right then and there.
"Shut up", he replied, leaving the bar and walking to a nearby alley, with the other still on his arm.
As soon as they were far enough away, Towa didn't even have a second to react before feeling the blow to his cheek.
"What was that about? Are you into violence now or what?" he said mockingly, opening his eyes wide as he noticed the state of Rei in front of him.
"Fuck, you're an idiot! Would it bother you so much to tell us for once in your life what you're doing? Would it be so hard for you to take the fact that we're friends seriously?!", although he screamed loudly, his teary eyes and the way his words trembled a little didn't make him look angry. Helplessness, Towa thought, that was what the pink-haired man felt.
"Nobody asked you to do this, anyway. You looked for me because you wanted to".
Hearing those words made him realize something. He was going to kill Towa at some point in his life. He was genuinely unbearable. But even so, when Rei saw him blurred by tears, the slightly angry expression of the man leaning against the wall seemed so attractive to him that he thought he might be the one who would end up dying in the end.
"You're a fucking irresponsible bastard. You can't live like your life doesn't affect the rest of us!", wiping his face with the back of his hand, Rei took a step back to calm down, "Living like this hurts everyone, including yourself. If you don't want to be better for yourself, alright, but are you seriously telling me that you wouldn't want to be better for me or Taku either?"
"No, and you think that's that bad? Sounds like a lot of work for no reason, since I'm already used to living like this. If you don't like the way I am, just get away from me and that's it", Towa finished, crossing his arms as if he'd said the most obvious thing in the world.
"I can't, Towa."
"Well, that's on you. You just don't want to, because you surely can", he recognized the last words like a dagger in his chest. His sentences sounded rushed, his voice a little more violent every second.
"You can't ask me to walk away from you like that. Not all of a sudden".
"And well, you can't ask me to change everything about myself either, then".
"It's not the same".
"Aham, really?", he noticed the smile that appeared on the black-haired man's face, and clenched his fists to keep from hitting him again (how many times had he suppressed that impulse in the last 2 hours?)
"If I leave, I'm leaving alone. If you change, y-your're going to have me, Towa. I'm asking for your permission to help you get better and be okay. Because I want to see you well and be like- happy with you, is it so weird? I've been wanting that for months now, but you know what!? Do whatever the fuck you want!", he said, hitting his palms against his thighs and breathing deeply. He saw Towa's attempt to speak, but he chuckled, "Shut up, will you? I'm the one who's talking, and you know I never do it seriously. I'm terribly tired, I didn't sleep a damn thing but I'm here anyways. Since my thoughts are unfiltered due to my lack of sleep and anger, I know I'm probably reacting like an asshole. I don't care, because I think the least you can give me is the RIGHT to worry about my friend. Nah, better? The right to worry about the person I like".
He'd just said it but, actually, he hadn't even internalized his feelings before the discussion. I mean, yes, he found Towa attractive and cared about him... and yes, he was the biggest fan of 'euphoria' and his "manager" but... everything was platonic, right?
Apparently no, he realized when he heard the boy calling him in a whisper.
Looking up, he saw Towa looking up at him with a mix of confusion, disbelief, and something else. He couldn't figure that out, but a shiver ran down his spine and well, those things don't happen because of your friends, he thought.
"Eh... Okay Rei, that was a lot", the black-haired man muttered a few seconds later, his tone less hostile than before.
Rei, still agitated but suddenly feeling exhausted again, ran his hands through his hair, adjusting himself a bit.
"Yeah... sorry, I guess. I don't regret it, anyway, I want you to know that", he confessed, tilting his head and sighing.
Silence reigned for a few minutes, minutes in which they just looked at each other, breathing deeply and leaning against opposite walls of the alley that, now that he was calm, Rei could tell was quite narrow.
Brushing his knees against the other's, Towa's voice was the first to interrupt the false tranquility of the moment.
"I was a little mean, I don't know... sorry", scratching his neck, his answer was total garbage but at least it seemed somewhat genuine, "I didn't think I was that important to you I guess, my bad".
Rei just sighed and nodded.
"It's fine, let's just stop this here. However, I'm gonna take you to the clinic, you have to get Taku to take care of those wounds", he added, walking out of the hallway they were in. Or so he tried, before feeling a tug on the sleeve of his jacket.
"No... I mean... can I sleep in your apartment?", Towa suddenly asked, and the taller man could swear he heard a bit of shyness in his words, "Not for anything weird, but you know how annoying Taku gets when I come home hurt..."
It made sense, but Rei couldn't help but smile a little, entertaining the idea that maybe (and just maybe) there was a different reason behind the man's words. Thankful that the other couldn't see him from behind, he got on his motorbike.
With their helmets on, they sped through the streets. He loved going fast, and Towa must've been used to that by now, because it wasn't unusual for them to go on little trips together. So, Rei was surprised to feel the man's arms around his waist. He went a little slower, distracted by a whisper in his ear.
"It's not about that...uhm, just speed up", pressed against his back, he couldn't see Towa's expression as he spoke but he sounded, at least, somewhat happy.
"At your service, cutie", Rei whispered, laughing.