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It was your typical chaotic day in the Ackerman household. The morning had been a whirlwind of mismatched socks, misplaced toys, and hurried breakfasts, but Hange had finally managed to wrangle Kiera into the car for her dental appointment. Isabelle the youngest was left in the care of Levi while the oldest was at school and that left the middle child to Hange whom she was currently taking to the dentist.
The sun was shining as Hange drove through the busy streets as she hummed along to a nursery rhyme Kiera enjoyed. The little girl sat in the back seat swinging her legs to the beat and hugging her rabbit plushie to her chest.
As they neared an intersection, a policeman came into view, standing tall and poised in his crisp uniform as he directed traffic. He had a kind, easy smile on his face, the sort that seemed to brighten the day of everyone passing by. He was easy to the eyes needlessly to say and that had caught the little girl’s eyes.
“Mama,” Kiera piped up as she stopped humming and her voice full of mischief uttered, “you should marry him.”
Hange blinked, caught off guard. “What?” she said, glancing at the rearview mirror to catch Kiera’s wide-eyed expression that looked rather serious, almost like her husband which was a rare expression on her daughter’s face. The daughter, who, while looking like her father, took after her disposition.
“Look at him!” Kiera insisted, pointing at the officer through the window. “He’s smiling and nice. Papa’s always so grumpy.” She tried imitating her father's scowls.
Hange’s laughter burst out, filling the car with a warm, contagious energy. “Oh, sweetie,” she said, trying to keep her eyes on the road as her shoulders shook, “you have no idea how much I love grumpy men. Your papa? He’s exactly my type.”
Kiera tilted her head thoughtfully, as if considering her mother’s words. “But wouldn’t it be nicer if Papa smiled more?”
Hange chuckled again, her eyes crinkling with amusement. “Ah, my little philosopher. Your papa’s smiles are rare, but that’s what makes them special. Besides,” she added with a wink through the rearview mirror, “I think your papa’s grumpiness is just his way of showing how much he cares.”
Kiera giggled, her small shoulders shrugging. “If you say so, Mama. But I still think that policeman looks strong. Maybe I should marry him when I grow up.”
Hange couldn’t help but laugh again, shaking her head. “Oh, Kiera, you’re something else. Don't let your Papa hear about marriage yet.”
When Hange pulled into the parking lot of the dentist’s office, she was still smiling. After all, she was her daughter through and through.
***
That night, Hange giggled and shook her head as she thought about her little girl. Levi looked at Hange who sat across the kitchen table nursing the steaming cup of tea he made for her. The memory of Kiera’s innocent yet hilariously blunt comment had her giggling all over again.
“Did you finally let your screws go loose or something?” Levi asked, taking a sip from his tea.
“She wants me to ditch you for some smiley traffic cop!” Hange finally managed to say between chuckles. Her laughter echoed through the quiet kitchen, warm and infectious.
Levi, who had been sipping his tea in peaceful silence, froze mid-sip. His sharp gray eyes narrowed, and his signature scowl deepened. “Tch. My own brat is turning against me because of my face?” He placed his mug down with a huff and crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair as if offended by the very notion. “Kiera stole all my features, and this is how she repays me? Betrayal.”
Hange leaned forward, resting her chin on her palm as she grinned mischievously. “Well, what can I say? She’s a mama’s girl. Maybe smile more Levi I think that would solve it. Although I love my man, grumpy and scowling.” she leaned and pecked his lips.
Levi rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath about “brats with too much imagination.” But the faint blush creeping up his pale cheeks betrayed his embarrassment. As much as he tried to maintain his usual stoicism, Hange’s teasing and the ridiculousness of the situation were starting to wear him down.
Finally, he allowed himself a rare, small smile—just enough for Hange to catch it. “Lucky for you,” he said, his voice softer now, “I’m not going anywhere.”
Hange’s heart warmed at his rare show of vulnerability. She reached over and planted a quick, affectionate kiss on his cheek, her grin widening as she noticed the blush darken. “Good. Because grumpy or not, you’re stuck with me, Ackerman.”
Levi smirked, shaking his head. “I could say the same about you.”
For a moment, the two of them sat there in comfortable silence, sharing a quiet moment of connection in the midst of their typically chaotic lives. The soft hum of the fridge and the distant sound of the kids’ muffled giggles from upstairs filled the room.
“I guess I should be flattered,” Levi added after a while, his tone laced with dry humor. “If anything, this proves Kiera’s got high standards. She’s just wrong about who’s the best choice for you.”
Hange burst into laughter again, nearly spilling her tea. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”
“And yet, you love me,” Levi said, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.
Hange leaned back in her chair, her smile softening. “I do and always will.”
***
A few days later, the family piled into their minivan reserved for family time, ready for a much-anticipated trip to the beach. The sun shone brightly overhead, the windows were rolled down to let in the salty breeze, and the kids buzzed with excitement, their chatter filling the car.
Levi sat behind the wheel, his usual stoic expression firmly in place, while Hange fiddled with the playlist on her phone, trying to find the perfect road trip song. Isabelle babbled happily in her car seat, Kiera hummed a tune, and Kai stared thoughtfully out the window, his mind clearly working on something.
Out of the blue, Kai broke the silence looking at his father in all seriousness. While he inherited his mother’s look which Levi adored about him he was very weirdly like him. It was a bit weird to have someone looking like his beloved wife school his expressions. “Papa, why aren’t you a millionaire?”
Levi raised an eyebrow, glancing briefly at the rearview mirror. “Tch. Because of you kids,” he said flatly. “You drain my wallet.”
Hange let out a hearty laugh, her amusement contagious enough to make Isabelle start giggling in her high-pitched baby laugh.
Kai, undeterred, turned to Hange with a serious expression. “Mama, you should’ve married a millionaire.”
Levi’s grip on the steering wheel tightened, and his sharp gray eyes flicked to the rearview mirror again. “Oi, brat,” he said, his tone dangerously calm, “you wouldn’t even exist if your mom married someone else.”
Hange turned in her seat, her laughter subsiding into a warm smile as she looked at Levi, who was clearly trying not to scowl too much. “Oh, my little darlings,” she began, her tone soft and affectionate, “I married your papa because he’s one of a kind.” She leaned over and pressed a tender kiss to Levi’s cheek.
Levi’s ears turned a noticeable shade of red, but he kept his eyes on the road, muttering something under his breath about “sappy idiots.”
Hange continued, undeterred. “To me, he’s the most handsome man in the world.”
“Ewwww!” Kai groaned dramatically from the back seat, clutching his stomach as if he were gagging. “Gross, Mama!”
Kiera, on the other hand, clasped her hands together and sighed dreamily. “That’s so romantic!”
Isabelle, watching her older siblings with wide eyes, decided to mimic them both. She gagged like Kai, then immediately clasped her tiny hands together like Kiera, her exaggerated gestures making Hange laugh so hard she had tears in her eyes.
Levi, though he tried to maintain his stoic demeanor, couldn’t completely suppress the small, amused twitch at the corner of his mouth. “You’re all a bunch of weirdos,” he muttered, though the faint warmth in his tone betrayed his affection.
Hange wiped at her eyes, still laughing as she turned back in her seat. “Oh, Levi, you know you love us.”
Levi sighed, but the corners of his lips twitched again. “Tch. I don’t know how I ended up with this circus,” he said, shaking his head slightly.
“Because you’re the ringleader,” Hange shot back with a wink, earning a chorus of laughter from the kids in the back. "and the biggest weirdo."
***
That night, as Hange worked late in her home office, the soft rustling and unmistakable pitter-patter of little feet sneaking down the hall reached her ears. Setting her pen down with a smirk, she rose quietly from her chair and tiptoed to the door.
She peeked around the corner, catching sight of Kai and Kiera huddled together near the living room, whispering furiously. Her grin widened as she crouched down to eavesdrop.
“Listen,” Kiera hissed, her voice determined, “Mama needs to marry that policeman so he can protect us!”
Kai folded his arms, rolling his eyes like the older, wiser sibling. “No, dummy. If Mama marries a millionaire, we can hire tons of bodyguards! That’s way smarter.”
Kiera frowned, tapping her chin in thought. “But the policeman would be close to us all the time! He’d fight the bad guys and save the day. We need a hero to protect us from our enemies.”
Hange had heard enough. Stifling a chuckle, she decided to make her presence known. She leaned forward and poked her head into their conversation, startling them both. “You know, your papa has a black belt in karate and was a gold medal champion. He can take on any bad guy. But my real question is—” she paused dramatically, raising an eyebrow, “—is someone threatening us?”
The kids let out ear-piercing shrieks, their little faces paling with guilt as they spun around to face her.
Levi appeared in the doorway moments later, Isabelle balanced on his hip, her thumb in her mouth. His sharp eyes scanned the room, his brow furrowed in concern. “What’s going on?” he asked, his tone serious.
“Your kids,” Hange said between fits of laughter, “are plotting our divorce!”
Levi froze, blinking in disbelief. “Wha—?!”
“Long story,” Hange said, waving him off with a grin before turning back to their mischievous offspring. She crossed her arms and fixed them with a mock-serious look. “Now, tell me. Do I need to worry about this? Did you two commit a felony?”
Kai and Kiera stood frozen like deer caught in headlights. “No, ma’am!” they chorused, their heads shaking furiously.
“Good,” Hange said, crouching down to their level. She planted a kiss on each of their foreheads. “Then no more scheming, little masterminds. Off to bed. We’ll come tuck you in soon.”
Grumbling but obedient, the two shuffled off to their room, muttering under their breath about how their plan had been “so close” to working.
Levi watched them go, his confusion still evident as he turned back to Hange. “Are they serious? What even—”
Hange shrugged, still chuckling. “Kids being kids. Apparently, they have got imaginary enemies and the only way to protect themselves is having their mother marry off to some person who could protect them.”
As the two of them tucked Isabelle into her crib and then checked on Kai and Kiera, who were already dozing off, Levi sighed heavily. “You know, I bet those two did something at school, and we’re going to get a call about it soon."
Hange smirked, turning to him with a mischievous glint in her eye. “Oh, Levi, they wouldn’t be our kids if they weren’t troublemakers. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, you know.”
Levi snorted, shaking his head. “Tch. You’re right. With parents like us, they didn’t stand a chance.”
He rolled his eyes but couldn’t suppress the faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. Turning to Hange, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips. “I love our little family, even if our gremlins are actively plotting our downfall.”
Hange grinned, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Don’t worry. I’ve got a solution.”
Levi narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously, but she just patted his shoulder and walked off, leaving him wondering what fresh madness awaited him.
***
The next morning, due to Hange’s insistence he found himself wearing his old karate gi for the first time in years. It still fit him although he had grown rather muscular over the years but yet wearing it as a father and as a once youth was definitely a different feeling and made him feel slightly ridiculous.
His children, however, were utterly starstruck. Kai, Kiera, and even Isabelle—balanced on Hange’s hip—stared at him as if he were a superhero.
“Papa,” Kiera breathed, her eyes as wide as saucers. “You’re really a champion?”
Levi nodded with a hint of pride, adjusting the belt on his gi. “Of course. I’m a gold medalist, remember?”
“Prove it!” Kai challenged, his arms crossed.
With a small sigh, Levi obliged. He stepped into position and executed a flawless roundhouse kick, his movements sharp and precise. The kids gasped in unison, their jaws practically hitting the floor.
“Whoa!” Kiera exclaimed, bouncing on her legs. “That was amazing, Papa!”
“Teach us, Papa!” Kai begged, his previous skepticism forgotten. “We want to learn karate too!”
Hange leaned against the doorframe, her arms crossed and a triumphant grin plastered across her face. “See? Problem solved.”
Levi gave her a pointed look, his lips twitching as though he wanted to scowl but couldn’t manage it. “You’re impossible,” he muttered, but the warmth in his tone gave him away.
As he turned back to his kids, who were now eagerly mimicking his stance, Levi couldn’t help the small, genuine smile that crept onto his face. He ruffled their hair one by one, letting out a soft sigh.
“Alright,” he said, crouching to their level. “I’ll teach you some moves. But don’t think this gets you out of trouble for last night.”
The kids giggled, throwing their arms around him in a spontaneous group hug. Levi, caught off guard, froze for a moment before wrapping his arms around them, the corners of his eyes crinkling with rare, unspoken affection. There would always be a soft spot for his little brats. The proof of his love to his wife.
Hange watched the scene unfold, her heart swelling. “You’re a natural, Levi,” she said, stepping closer. “The perfect father to our little ones.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Levi muttered, standing up and brushing imaginary dust off his gi. But he couldn’t hide the way his gaze softened as he looked at his little family. His very own family lacked what he had now once so to have this with Hange was an incredible blessing to him.
Hange chuckled, wrapping an arm around his waist. “You know,” she whispered, “you’re not just their hero. You’re mine too.”
Levi gave her a sidelong glance, his face pink. “Tch. Sap,” he muttered, but he didn’t move away, letting her hold him as their kids practiced clumsy karate moves in the living room.
He really felt blessed to have Hange despite his little scheming gremlins being little brats. He let himself smile as Isabelle walked over to him asking to be carried. Atleast, this one was a daddy’s little girl, he hoped. Not that he loved the other two any less.
***
Later that afternoon, after the impromptu karate lesson, Levi found himself sprawled on the couch, utterly exhausted. Teaching two energetic kids—even for just a few hours—had drained him more than any cleaning ever could. Isabelle toddled over to him with her favorite plushie, plopping it on his chest.
“Papa tired?” she asked, her big, innocent eyes peering into his.
“Yeah, kid,” Levi muttered, adjusting her so she could sit on his lap. “Your brother and sister are troublemakers.”
Hange walked in with a tray of snacks, her eyes dancing with amusement. “You say that like it’s a bad thing. They get it from you, you know.”
Levi shot her a flat look. “I wasn’t half as chaotic as they are.”
“Oh, please,” Hange said, setting the tray on the coffee table. “You were their age sneaking into training rooms and picking fights with students twice your size.”
Levi grunted but didn’t argue. Isabelle giggled, as if understanding the playful jab.
—
Meanwhile, Kai and Kiera had retreated to their room, busy strategizing their next grand plan.
“We should make Papa a superhero costume,” Kiera said, her crayons scattered around the floor.
Kai tilted his head thoughtfully. “Yeah, but he doesn’t like flashy stuff. It has to be cool and scary.”
They both nodded in agreement, the crayons forgotten as they began sketching designs.
Later that evening, after dinner, the kids presented their masterpiece to Levi.
“Papa!” Kiera exclaimed, holding up a crude drawing of Levi in a black and white superhero outfit. “We made you a costume!”
Levi raised an eyebrow, taking the picture from her tiny hands. “What’s this?”
Kai puffed out his chest. “It’s your superhero costume! You’re ‘Karate Man,’ and you save everyone from villains!”
Hange, sitting at the table, burst out laughing. “Karate Man? Really?”
Levi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Tch. This is ridiculous.”
“Oh, come on,” Hange teased, leaning over his shoulder to look at the drawing. “It’s adorable. Look, they even gave you a cape!”
Levi’s eyes flicked to the drawing, and despite himself, a small smile tugged at his lips. “You two have too much time on your hands.”
“But do you like it?” Kiera asked, her face hopeful.
Levi sighed again, softer this time. “Yeah, I like it.”
The kids beamed, and Hange grinned as she nudged Levi’s arm. “See? You’re already their hero.”
That night, after tucking the kids into bed, Hange and Levi sat together on the couch. The house was finally quiet, the chaos of the day fading into a comfortable stillness.
Hange leaned against Levi’s shoulder, her fingers idly tracing patterns on his arm. “You’re really good with them, you know. They adore you.”
Levi scoffed. “They adore me so much they were plotting your second marriage last night.”
Hange laughed softly. “Oh you know they are still small and do not understand the world yet. They will grow up to know what real marriage means and we are going to set the — no we set the perfect example for it.”
Levi turned to look at her, his expression unreadable. “You’re too good at this sweet-talking thing.”
“It’s not sweet-talking if it’s true,” she murmured, leaning in to kiss him gently.
For a moment, Levi let himself relax, his hand resting on her back as he returned the kiss. When they pulled away, his gaze softened in that rare way only Hange ever got to see.
“Thanks,” he muttered.
“For what?”
“For putting up with me.”
Hange grinned. “Always, Captain Grumpy. Always.”