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The sun peeks through the blinds of you and Spencer’s shared apartment, casting a soft glow on the room. You lay in bed, your hand resting on your stomach, a small smile dancing on your lips. It has been almost two months since you discovered the little secret that is growing inside you. You haven’t really started to show yet, but it can’t be long until you do.
Spencer is still asleep next to you, his unruly hair splayed across the pillow. You turn on your side, admiring the way his long eyelashes brush against his cheeks. He looks so peaceful in his slumber, and you can’t help but feel a rush of warmth in your chest from the sight of him. The faint sound of his breathing fills the quiet room, a soothing rhythm that lulls you deeper into your thoughts. It is a surreal experience, knowing that in just six months’ time, the two of you will become three.
It was not planned, you’re both still young and navigating the complexities of life, Spencer’s job with the BAU demanding long hours and intense focus, not to mention the dangers that come along with it. There is a lot of uncertainty, but you’re happy. Very, very happy. There is no one you would rather do this with than him.
He came home late last night from a case. He was gone for almost a week, and you have missed him terribly. You always miss him when he is away, of course, but the ache of his absence feels way more severe now, compounded by the whirlwind of emotions swirling in your mind about the future, as well as the hormones that seem to be amplifying just about everything.
You shift slightly, careful not to disturb his slumber. Your fingers brush against the soft fabric of his t-shirt, the familiar scent of his sh ampoo wrapping around you like a warm hug. You can already picture him reading to the baby, the two of them snuggled together on the couch, his voice low and soothing as he spins tales of adventure and knowledge.
You scoot closer to him, nestling into the crook of his arm, seeking comfort in his presence. The warmth radiating from his body is inviting, and you close your eyes for a moment, allowing yourself to breathe in the serenity of the morning.
The minutes pass slowly, and the sun continues to rise, illuminating the room with golden hues. Spencer shifts beside you, his arm wrapping around you instinctively, pulling you closer. You can’t help but chuckle softly, delighted by his subconscious need to keep you near. It’s a small gesture, but it speaks volumes about the kind of father he will be—protective, nurturing, and endlessly loving.
You sigh constantly as you settle further into his embrace. Spencer begins to stir slightly, his eyes slowly fluttering open, blinking sleepily as he processes the morning light until they finally focus on you, a soft, sleepy smile spreading across his face. “Good morning,” he murmurs, his voice thick with sleep but laced with warmth and affection.
“Good morning, handsome,” you reply, unable to suppress your smile in return.
His smile widens, but you don’t miss the tiny glint of concern in his eyes. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m good, I think I’m finally over the morning sickness stage,” you say, “Just a little queasy here and there, but nothing I can’t handle. A little tired too, but I think that’s to be expected.”
Spencer’s gaze drops to where your hand rests, his brow furrowing slightly as he processes your words. “Tired, tired? Or… emotionally tired?” He tilts his head slightly, his hazel brown eyes searching yours with a mixture of concern and curiosity.
“Maybe a bit of both. I mean, it’s hard to keep track of my feelings these days. Sometimes I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster, and I didn’t even buy a ticket,” you admit, smiling softly as you reach your hand out to brush a few errant strands of hair from his face and tuck them behind his ear. He grabs your hand, gently pulling it from his ear to his lips and placing a soft kiss on your palm. The gesture sends a flutter through your heart, a reminder of how deeply he cares for you and the little life you’re nurturing together.
“I’m here for you, you know that, right?” Spencer says, his voice steady and reassuring. “Whatever you need, just tell me.”
You nod, feeling a swell of gratitude for him. “I know, and I appreciate it. Honestly, just having you here makes everything feel better. Even when you’re away, just knowing you’re out there doing what you do best… It’s comforting.”
Spencer’s expression softens, and he nods, understanding the weight of your words. “It’s tough being away from you, especially now... I wish I could be around more, be more present.” His brows knit, his gaze falling to your hand which he’s still holding, his thumb gently rubbing circles over your knuckles. “Honestly… I’m scared.” Spencer’s voice trails off, his vulnerability hanging in the air between you like a delicate thread.
You can see the internal struggle etched across his features, the way his mind races with possibilities and fears. “Scared..?” you prompt gently, encouraging him to share what’s weighing on his heart. A beat of silence unfolds between you as he gathers his thoughts.
“Yeah,” he finally admits, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m scared about being a dad. That I’m not going to be good enough… I don’t know one thing about being a dad… My own dad didn’t teach me anything, besides how not to be one…” His voice cracks slightly. “And it’s not like I can just look it up in a book,” he continues, his eyes searching yours for understanding. You could argue against that, he has been buying a lot of parenting books, but you know what he really means.
Your heart aches at his raw honesty. You turn to face him fully, propping yourself up on one elbow so you can look into his eyes. “You’re going to be an amazing dad. I know you will. You’re already doing so much for us, Spence. Just being you is enough. You’re so kind and intelligent, you have so much love to give. You’ve always been there for me, and I know you’ll be there for our baby too.”
He shakes his head slightly, the doubt still lingering in his expression. “But parenting is a whole different ball game. What if I don’t know how to handle everything? What if I don’t have the right answers?”
You lean closer, cupping his cheek with your hand. You know him well enough to know exactly how his mind works in situations like this, that he is about to go into overdrive, his mind racing with scenarios that haven’t even happened yet, letting his mind spiral into a whirlpool of ‘what-ifs’ and doubts, but you’re not going to let him do that now.
“You don’t have to have all the answers. No one does. It’s okay to be uncertain. What matters is that you care, and that you’re willing to learn and grow. We’ll figure this out together, I promise.”
Spencer’s eyes soften at your words, though the worry doesn’t completely dissipate. “I just want to be the best for you both. I want to give our child everything I didn’t have.”
“Spence,” you say gently, “you are already giving them so much. You’re here, you care, and you’re already thinking about what it means to be a parent. That’s what matters. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about doing your best.”
He exhales slowly, processing your words, and you can see the tension in his shoulders begin to ease just a fraction.
You lean in and kiss him softly, feeling the weight of the world lift just a little more with the tender touch of his lips against yours. When you pull away, you look into his eyes, wanting him to see the sincerity in your gaze. “We’ll make mistakes along the way, but we’ll learn from them. And we’ll always do the best we can.”
Spencer nods slowly, his expression shifting from doubt to a tentative hope. For a while he just stares at you, openly and vulnerable, as if he’s trying to memorize every detail of your face. The sunlight continues to pour into the room, casting a warm halo around the two of you, and in that moment, everything feels right. “You’re so beautiful,” he finally whispers, his voice filled with admiration.
You feel a flush of warmth spread across your cheeks at his compliment, and you can’t help but smile, feeling cherished and loved. “You’re not too bad yourself, genius,” you tease gently, nudging him playfully.
Spencer chuckles softly, the sound a delightful melody that fills the air around you. “I still can’t believe we’re having a baby,” he says, his voice a mix of awe and disbelief. “It feels surreal.”
“Surreal is definitely one word for it,” you agree, your heart swelling with affection.
“And you’re already so good at it,” he adds, his gaze unwavering as he takes in your expression.“You’re going to be an incredible mom.”
Your heart swells at his words, and you can feel the warmth spreading through you again. “I really hope so,” you say, your voice soft.
A comfortable silence settles between you, filled only with the sounds of your breathing and the gentle hum of the city waking up outside your window. It’s a moment just for the two of you, where the world outside feels far, far away, leaving just the two of you and the little life growing inside you.
Spencer shifts slightly, propping himself up on one elbow to mirror your position. He places a warm palm on your stomach, his fingers splayed gently across your shirt. You can feel the heat of his hand seeping through the cotton, and a wave of comfort washes through you. “I can’t believe our little one is in there,” he murmurs, his eyes wide with wonder.
You nod, a smile breaking across your face. “I know, right?” You lean into his touch, reveling in the connection that’s forming not just between you and Spencer, but also between the baby and their father.
“Do you have a feeling about what they’re gonna be? Girl or boy?”
“No,” you shake your head with a smile. “I know people say they usually have a feeling one way or another, but I honestly don’t know. I’m just excited to meet them, no matter what.”
Spencer nods thoughtfully, his fingers still resting on your stomach, his brow furrows slightly in thought before he responds. “I think I’d like to have a little girl,” he says after a moment. His voice is soft, almost shy as he speaks.
You raise an eyebrow, a playful smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “Oh really? Why a little girl?”
“I mean, I will be happy no matter what— ecstatic, really. I already am. It’s just that when I picture them, it’s a girl.” Spencer replies, his thumb caressing your stomach softly. “I can already picture her sitting on my lap, just like how my mom used to do with me when she read me stories… I am pretty scared about all of this, but I’m also really, really excited. I want you to know that.” His voice is filled with sincerity, and you can see the determination in his eyes.
You can’t help but smile at the image he paints, a vision of a little girl nestled in his lap. It’s a beautiful thought, and you can already picture the kind of father he will be—patient, loving, and endlessly supportive. “I think you’d be amazing with a little girl,” you say, your voice laced with warmth. “And I don’t doubt that you’re excited. Not for one second.” You learn forward, softly pressing your lips against his in a soft, tender kiss.
The kiss lingers. Spencer removes his hand from your stomach to instead cup your cheek. When you finally pull back, Spencer’s eyes are sparkling, filled with a mixture of awe and affection. “I can’t wait to watch you become a mom,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he’s afraid to break the magic of the moment.
You nod, feeling a swell of gratitude that he’s chosen this journey with you. “And I can’t wait to see you as a dad.”
As the sun continues to rise, bathing the room in warmth and light, you feel an overwhelming sense of hope and love. You lean back into his embrace, resting your head against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart.
“Whatever happens,” you whisper, “we’ll do it together. Always together.”
“Always,” he echoes, wrapping his arms tighter around you.