Archive of Our Own

Unbeknownst to the rest of the criminal world, this cold week of early winter found the deadliest gang leader in Ketterdam trapped at home with a wicked cold. Kaz Brekker’s illnesses were far and few between, but had a tendency to linger longer than most. And so it was on day five of his convalescence, he was stuck at home while the rest of his household was continuing in their duties as the Crows pillars. 

All but one, that is.

Wylan— who mostly worked from home as their demolition expert and fresh face when needing to go about in less criminal society— was at the house with Kaz. He was available should their fearless yet congested leader need anything. Unfortunately for Wylan, while Kaz was sick enough to be mostly couch ridden, he was well enough to complain and gripe about this instance of failure on his immune system's part. 

To best handle such complaints, Wylan quietly set up shop in the living room with what he would need to be comfortable. Mainly, sitting on the floor and playing his video games. 

Kaz, as established as being stuck on the couch, had nothing to do but watch. 

‘’Okay.’’ Kaz cleared his throat, coughing into his fist. ‘’Explain the premise to me again?’’

‘’I don’t know,’’ Wylan huffed, rocking back to lean against the couch where Kaz was laying. He was sitting cross legged on the floor, the game controller’s cord trailing dangerously across the room to the TV stand. ‘’I think the world’s ending? Or about to end?’’

‘’He was on an island,’’ Kaz recalled, watching Wylan’s character as Wylan made him fight bug like creatures with yellow eyes. ‘’He left the island—‘’

‘’No, the other guy left the island first,’’ Wylan recalled. ‘’The white haired guy.’’

‘’The one you fought?’’

‘’No, that was other white haired guy.’’

‘’What happened to the girl? The one they were racing for?’’

‘’They were racing for her?’’ Wylan tapped the buttons on the controller furiously, momentarily distracted. ‘’I thought they were racing for that piece of fruit?’’

‘’Yeah, to eat with her.’’

‘’They were competing for a date? How primitive.’’

‘’Well, they were on an island. She’s the only girl around.’’

‘’There was that other girl with the jump rope.’’

‘’She was like, twelve.’’

Wylan frowned at the screen. ‘’I think my character’s thirteen.’’

‘’Whatever.’’ Kaz watched as Wylan triumphed in battle. This triggered a scene between the characters. ‘’You’re pressing too fast. I can’t read what’s happening.’’

‘’Good, then we can both be lost in the storyline.’’

‘’Don’t you want to know what’s going on?’’

‘’Eh.’’ Wylan shrugged. ‘’I’ve made it this far. Since the chipmunks built the gummy bear ship that got me here, I figure there isn’t much to be gained from trying to follow the narrative.’’

‘’Gummy bear?’’

‘’Gummy bear. At least, I think that’s what Jesper said.’’

‘’Huh.’’

…

Kaz didn’t realize he’d fallen asleep until he’d awoken. He doubted his assumption seeing as Wylan was in the exact same spot as he remembered. The only difference was the picture on the screen. ‘’Either you’ve gone to a new world, or you changed the game,’’ Kaz said, his voice rough from sleep.

‘’Changed the game,’’ Wylan affirmed.

‘’Why?’’

‘’Cause.’’ 

Kaz watched the picture in silence; a squarish looking character walking around with an animal like creature trailing after him.  ‘’Pokèmon?’’ He guessed.

‘’Look at you knowing things,’’ Wylan praised. 

‘’I never understood the obsession with this thing.’’

‘’It’s a world where you can bond with animals, travel at little to no expense, and where the mere act of eye contact is considered aggression.’’

‘’The first lesson one learns on the streets.’’

‘’Exactly. Damn, tall grass…’’ The clicking of Wylan’s controller filled the room even as the screen loaded. ‘’So, who would you pick?’’

‘’What?’’ Kaz asked. 

‘’Who would you pick? You know; Charmander, Bulbasaur, Squirtel?’’

‘’Am I supposed to know what those are?’’

‘’Cynadaquil Chikorita, Totodile. Torchic, Mudkip, Treecko—‘’

‘’Are you having a stroke right now?’’

Wylan gave a great sigh and paused his game. He took out his phone, swiping furiously. He handed it to Kaz. ‘’Pick one.’’

Kaz took the tablet. He frowned as he scrolled. ‘’Where’s that brown thing Nina’s obsessed with?’’

‘’Eevee? That’s not a beginner.’'

‘’So all these one’s are inferior? Why does she get a better one?’’

‘’No. Beginner means the ones you get at the beginning of the game. You have to pick one of these three to start.’’

‘’You’re showing my like, dozens.’’

‘’There are three for every region. Pick one.’’

‘’Why?’’

Wylan gave an exhausted sigh. ’’Because I want to hurt you.’’

‘’I need to make informed choices. What are the pros and cons of each choice?’’

‘’The pros are I don’t scream.’’

‘’You brought it up. Not me.’’ Kaz frowned at the screen. ‘’I like the stupid looking one.’’

‘’Which one?’’

‘’This one; the one that looks like a trained pet preforming in the Stave.’’

Wylan leaned to see the screen. ‘’Poppilo? C’mon, be nice to him.’’

‘’He’s literally balancing a ball on his noise. He’s a preforming seal. Little guy never stood a chance.’’

‘’You’d pick him?’’

‘’Hell no. Oh, what’s this guy? With the shifty eyes?’’

‘’Treecko?’’

‘’Yeah. He’s done hard time. This one here was his buddy in jail.’’

‘’And what is Grookey in for?’’

‘’Eh, he was the fall guy for some minor crime. He’s too dumb to actually get away with a real heist. Now, Tepig on the other hand… Looks harmless, nice, but like all pigs, he’d kill you given half a chance.’’’

‘’What an intricate understanding you have of Pokemon and their natures. Now, who would you pick?’’

‘’To rob a bank or to rob me?’’

‘’To go on an adventure with, you maniac.’’

‘’Oh.’’ Kaz frowned at the screen. ‘’Yeah, none of them are doing it for me.’’

‘’This is why we can’t get a pet.’’ Wylan snatched his phone back and unpaused his game.

…

‘’Okay, I’ll bite; what’s the purpose of this game?’’

The cartoonish character put away their farming equipment and mounted their horse. ’’Agriculture,’’ Wylan replied. 

Kaz’s eyes were fixed on the screen. Stiffness in his leg had made him get to his feet, but the exhaustion in his body made him sink to the floor. Now he was sitting on the floor next to Wylan. ‘’And why are you playing Agriculture?’’

‘’Harvest Moon,’’ Wylan corrected. ‘’Sometime its nice to grow things.’’

‘’We’ve killed every plant that’s crossed our threshold.’’

‘’I’ll have you know my farm is bringing in a profit margin of 50,000G a year.’’

‘’Huh. I didn’t know you could hack this one.’’

‘’You wound me.’’

…

‘’How is this different from Agriculture?’’

Wylan took a swig from his soda. ‘’Animal Crossing,’’ he began, ‘’Is a careful conglomeration of citizenship, community, and thinly veiled hatred for your neighbors. Also, this game follows an exact time ratio and you can’t get married.’’

‘’Well sure,’’ Kaz mused. ‘’Nintendo wouldn’t want to be sued for beastiality.’’ 

…

‘’The fucker updated the autopsy report?’’ Kaz said incredulously.

‘’I’m going to kill him,’’ Wylan threatened. 

…

‘’Okay, this one I like.’’

‘’I thought you might.’’ Rather than speed up, Wylan purposefully crashed his digital car into another vehicle.

… 

It was approaching evening when the scene in the living changed enough to warrant notice. Wylan, having exhausted his expansive gaming collection through the TV medium, switched to his hand held device. He was now comfortably situated in the corner of the couch sectional as opposed to the floor. Kaz was even more comfortably situated, somehow having ended up in Wylan’s lap, his head against his chest as Wylan continued his game play.

Kaz’s commentary ceased as sleep claimed him.