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In the darkness of the Hazhe house, you sit hunched over with your back against the cold wall, letting the damp cobblestone seep into the thin threads of your shirt. Your body shivers in the cold, your arms wrapped around your chest in a feeble attempt to savor some warmth.
The day didn't start off well. You woke up already burdened with the heavy weight of the world on your chest, pinning you down to your bed. Every step felt as though you trudged through mud. Every breath felt like pins and needles. Your blood burned with an uncomfortable unease that never seemed to go away.
To put it simply—you're having an off day.
So you took to one of the secluded huts away from the rest of the island's population to try and wait away the strange feeling bubbling up inside of you. It's that same voice, over and over, feeding you doubt on a nonstop loop. It's not often you feel like this. But when you do, times turn rough.
A small sequence of footsteps brings you from outside your own head. With shaking limbs, you continue to sit with your head on your knees, praying that no tears escape in front of whoever decides to step into your safe space.
"Ah, there you are," a deep voice sounds from above you. When you open your eyes and glance up, you see Altus looking down at you. Though it's not his usual condescending or playful expression. It's a slight smile painted with a splash of genuine concern—quite a rare sight.
"C'mere, little one. You're okay now," he speaks, kneeling down before you. You try and swallow your pride and bury your instincts by putting up a facade. But that mask quickly slips the moment he takes your trembling wrist in his large hands and tenderly pulls you to your feet.
He leads you out of the abandoned hut and into the main houses, remaining silent for the rest of the walk. Winds crash against your body, but you find an odd sense of protective heat with your wrist still in his grasp. Just a mere moment of human contact so powerful in the way it grounds you back to sanity. You find, that for just a second, that slight buzz in your veins relieves itself.
You blink, and you're in the kitchen, sitting at the table with a cup of warm tea presented out in front of you. Memories in your mind blur together as you take small sips. Fragments of the past few minutes fail to connect, but the present doesn't seem as wobbly as it used to.
Altus sits in the recliner off to the side, humming to himself while mindlessly gazing out the window. When he senses your movement, he turns his head and greets you with a serene smile.
"Ah, there you are. Feeling better?"
Not quite trusting your voice, you nod. Despite feeling a tiny bit clearer, there's still a nagging inside of your chest—a scratch yet to be itched.
The quiet Oni seems to notice because he sits up just a bit more and makes heavy eye contact. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
You stare at the space around him, wondering just what sort of action you should request. Space? That didn't work out the first time.
The feeling of your wrist in his hands suddenly sparks in the back of your mind. When you remember that feeling of warmth, your eyes instinctively wander around his body. But you quickly catch yourself, because how childish of a request is that? Human contact? You're too embarrassed to speak your truth.
That doesn't stop Altus from knowing the truth though. You've been on the island long enough to have the Oni man quickly attuned to your needs. With a comforting laugh, he widens his arms, and gestures with his eyes for you to join him on the recliner.
"Fine, fine, just this once. C'mere."
Your limbs move before any other parts of you can react. Legs move on their own and you suddenly find yourself in his lap with his arms slithered around your waist. It's not heated in the sense of a forbidden intimacy. It's warm in the sense of protection in safety. You're a sacred treasure shielded from the dangers of the outside, not once in danger of being threatened.
When one of his hands goes to the top of your head to rub gently pats atop the crown, you finally break.
"There, there. You did good," he whispers near your ear, continuing to shower you in soothing gestures. That undying itch finally relieves itself, melting into a puddle that slips right out of your body. Every bad thought gets swatted away. Every nervous tremble falls flat against his strong arms. The tears that threatened to fall slip free in a way that's relieving instead of sorrowing. You're safe. You're okay.
"Shh, you did good. All is good now, don't worry."
In the comfort of his hold, you lean into the embrace, letting the rise and fall of his chest against your head delicately soothe your rising anxieties. His breaths against the top of your head wash away the buzzing of nerves in your system. You let your rapid breaths gradually decline into the same pace as the Oni—nice and easy without any real strain.
The two of you sit like that for a while in the quietness of the kitchen, safe for the faint sound of light breathing. That giant string of thorns no longer wraps around your lungs. The hoard of negative thoughts that constantly run rampant around your mind gets swept away in the wind and out where they can no longer reach you. The Oni continues to whisper sweet nothings, reassuring you that you did good and that you matter, not once letting his arms leave from where they're wrapped around you.
It's been a while since you've broken like this. You tend to pile everything inside until the stack reaches the top and the unstable base causes the tower to all come crashing down. In the past, you had to scramble on all fours to desperately force it all together again. With no help or no guidance, you never quite put the puzzle back together, forever in a struggle against your own peace.
But now the broken pieces get to mend themselves, all in the safe hold atop Altus's lap.