Work Text:
Malim Cendari likes to think of himself as a very good secretary.
He's known for being a hard worker after all. He communicates with clients very efficiently. He organizes tasks and projects for his boss both with the speed and accuracy of a renowned professional employee. He manages all general areas of importance related to the job in a way that benefits and helps make the workload for his boss easier. Hell, he even stays past his scheduled hours to work on extra tasks.
But if you told him he only stayed late to try and walk out with his boss, he'd vehemently deny it.
And that's because, according to his best friend, he's in the first stage of the cycle of grief—denial.
"I'm not in love with my boss, dude," he complains to Rosco on his lunch break, nearly yelling into the phone in the office building's cafeteria. Thankfully, since he decided to sit in the corner toward the back, no one bats an eye or turns toward his direction at his outburst. So he continues to rant into his phone, venting his frustrations out through the air pod's shitty microphone about how there is no way he's in love with his boss.
"I mean, c'mon, just because he's super tall and buff, and hot doesn't mean I'm in love with him. I only stare because I can appreciate a good body, y'know? There's nothing sus about that. In fact, I know a lot of my other coworkers who think of the same things too. It’s normal around here."
The other line is silent for a moment. Malim hears rustling and a faint sigh in the distance before Rosco finally replies.
"Uh-huh. Sure buddy. So then tell me why you always stay late so you can walk out with him. Do your coworkers do that too? And every time we talk lately, you only talk about him. And every time I come visit you at work, you're always caught daydreaming about him. And every time you—"
"Okay! Okay! Jeez, I get it! But those are all normal things, right? If your boss is cool, you'd do that too."
"First of all, my boss is Gale fucking Galleon of all people, so I can't really answer that question. But second of all, the answer is no regardless. Yesterday, you literally ranted to me about how you wanted him to bend you over your desk—"
"Woah, alright, that's enough. That was a joke, okay? A joke! It's just because he's...y'know...hot and stuff...ugh, never mind, you wouldn't get it."
As he trails off, Rosco sighs again, this time louder and heavier. "Whatever you say, bud. Denial can only get you so far."
Malim starts to think back on yesterday's train of thought, and how it'd initially been a joke. Who wouldn't fantasize about their hot boss, especially if they looked like Altus? And it's all just hypothetical anyway. The way he'd hypothetically be bent over the wooden desk. The way he'd have to hypothetically force himself to be silent so that no one else hears. The way he'd hypothetically start orbiting in the astral dimension because of how far his soul left his body.
These are all hypotheticals.
Hypothetical, as it would never ever happen outside of his wildest dreams.
Something so impossibly out of his reach that there’s no reason to worry about it at all.
"I hope you know that you aren't dreaming about him for no reason. That's literally the first stage of—"
Malim hangs up the phone in a fit of short rage and continues to wolf down his food in an attempt to ignore the crazy thoughts in his mind. It's subconscious the way his refusal slowly starts to morph into anger at the accusations, even though they're rationally and logically correct.
But that's the thing about denial—there's no rhyme or reasoning to it.
He is not in love with Altus Zendoji, his extremely professional and not-so-hot boss. No matter what anyone else says, he is definitely, and totally, not.
*****
"Dude...you've already moved onto the anger phase...you need to chill out bro."
Malim crumples up the paper straw's wrapper and chucks it right at Rosco's face. "I am not angry. I dunno what you're talking about."
Rosco yelps and throws his own trash right back at him. "Bro, have you seen yourself? Like actually, have you looked at a mirror recently? Because ever since I accused you of having feelings for your boss, you've been nonstop ranting to me in anger. Even now, as we're supposed to be chilling in this lowkey coffee shop, because I, you're only good friend around here, took you to calm you down.”
Irritation starts to burn in his blood because he definitely has not been angry. He definitely doesn't get angry whenever Altus walks by and he feels a heat pool in his stomach. He definitely doesn't get angry whenever Altus smiles at him and tells him he did a good job with his work. He definitely doesn't get angry at the small compliments he receives or the drinks his boss buys him when he's too tired or the reassurance that he's doing a good job and can always take a day off if he needs to rest and—
A finger flick at the side of his head startles him out of his internal rant. He turns to see his friend staring at him with an incredulous look, eyes narrowed in both disgust and disbelief.
"I can see it in your eyes the way you're fantasizing, dude. What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Malim finishes the rest of his coffee and crushes the plastic cup with his hands out of spite. At first, the accusations were just mildly irritating. But now, they only seem to trigger a strong urge of rage that seems near impossible to quell.
"Look...it's probably just a phase or something. There's no way I'm in love with him. I literally can't! He's my boss!"
Rosco stands up and joins him in the walk to throw out their trash. "I mean yeah, duh. But just because it's unethical doesn't mean it's not true. You’ll see eventually."
Instead of throwing the cup in the garbage, Malim uses it to smack Rosco atop the head.
There is no way he's in love with his boss. There's no way all the times he fantasizes about him are because he likes him. There's no way all the times he knocks on his boss's door just to chat when he doesn't need to because he likes him. There's literally no way in hell he's in love with him at all.
And even if he is, it's not like there's anything he can do about it.
*****
Ok fine. Maybe he is in love with Altus. But only just a tiny bit.
"Good work today, Mlem. Make sure you're getting plenty of rest, alright? I wouldn't want my favorite secretary getting sick."
Malim receives the compliment with the grace of an awkward fish out of water. Ever since his mind has slowly started to accept the revelation, no interaction with his boss has been the same. He stumbles over his words. He fidgets unnecessarily. During times when he’d usually talk without a care in the world, he seems to run out of conversational fuel almost immediately.
"Yes, right, of course."
Smooth Malim. Real smooth.
After internally smacking himself with a ruler at the inability to play it cool, he watches as Altus retreats into his own office connected to where his secretary one is. The door shuts, and he sits there dumbly, running every possible scenario through his head. This is where he’d usually sneak into his office and waste time chatting it up, talking about anything and everything under the sun. Even on the clock, Altus doesn’t seem to mind his chatter, listening to whatever seems to escape his mouth.
If he's done it before, he can do it again. So what's stopping him from popping in for a small chat now?
Is he afraid of what he'll say? Is he afraid of Altus's reaction? Is he afraid of accidentally saying something so incredibly stupid that he has no choice but to run away and discard his entire identity in favor of living a hobbit life in the forest? Is he afraid of fumbling the bag, even if there is nothing at stake?
Or is he afraid that after revealing the truth, the rejection will come crashing down on him too fast and heavy for him to handle?
He texts Rosco in a hurry, unsure of where else to channel this bizarre wave of feelings.
fuck dude, i think youre right
i might actually like this guy
The reply comes almost instantly.
i fucking told you bro
now go chase after him or whatever so i dont have to hear you complain anymore
he clearly likes you back
so go get him instead of wallowing in the bargaining stage
im sick of hearing about your weird fantasies
Malim turns off his phone without replying back, instead choosing to let the words resonate in his head even longer. There's no way he would, right? Just looking at it from his perspective is already depressing enough. Why the hell would a six-foot buff intelligent kind gentleman want anything to do with little ol' him at all?
The sudden thought dampens his mood throughout the rest of the day, to the point where he doesn't even stay to walk out with Altus hours after his shift ends.
*****
The only thing worse than knowing you might have feelings for your boss is also knowing that he probably doesn't like you back.
"Are you fucking kidding me, bro? Of course he likes you back! What sane CEO pampers his secretary like they're his longtime lover?"
Malim shakes his head, aimlessly drawing circles on the paper document that totally isn't important or anything. He has to whisper aggressively into the phone this time, for his boss is on the other side of the door. "Are you sure? I feel like that's just him being nice, y'know? He's a good guy. A really good guy, actually. It's probably nothing."
This time, he doesn't need to be on the phone to hear Rosco's sigh from across the damn city. "I dunno what to tell you, man, other than that you might need glasses. Because you're blind as fuck if you think he doesn't like you back."
He takes a minute to think of all the scenarios that have happened over the past few days. Sure, Altus might've bought him a pack of spicy noodles when he off-handedly mentioned that he forgot his lunch. Sure, Altus may have increased all the deadlines for his tasks after being out sick for a day. Sure, Altus may or may not smile and compliment him every morning when he walks in for work. And yes, Altus may or may not have given him his phone number this morning and told him to text him anytime he needed something the moment he realized that Malim was feeling down.
But these are all just very normal CEO things to do. Altus is just a normal boss who takes care of his workers. That's literally all.
"Malim, I literally cannot think of any boss in the world who would go through such lengths for just one person. Please, just think about it for a second. That man is head over heels for you."
Rosco's words slowly start to lift the heavy set of hands over his shoulders. Could Altus really like him back? This morning, the face he made when he walked in was, in fact, laced with very clear concern. His voice when gently offering his number and smile when reassuring him that he'd always be there for him probably aren't all too normal for a boss, now that he's thinking about it. Once again, without any words, he hangs up the phone and decides to get to the bottom of everything once and for all.
It takes all his courage and energy to get up out of his office chair and knock on the door to Altus's personal office. When he hears a deep "come in " from the other side, he ignores the sudden racing of his heart and enters.
There, behind his desk, sits Altus Zendoji. With the navy sleeves of his work shirt rolled up to his elbows, he could see the veins of his arm muscles from all the way up in outer space. His long hair sits neatly atop his head where it’s pulled into a high ponytail. The glasses sit beautifully across the ridge of his nose, and the smile that greets him when he enters almost makes him fall to the floor.
Fuck...
"Did you need something, Mlem? Is everything alright?"
God, the kind tone he uses sends a jolt of electrifying heat straight to his stomach. He has to swallow down his heightened emotions and really think about what he says next so that he doesn't stutter and make a complete fool of himself.
"Right, sorry, I just uh...wanted to ask you something?"
Real smooth, Malim. Real smooth.
Altus doesn't say anything though, instead offering him to take a seat on the couch across the desk and turning his full attention to him. "Of course. You can always ask me anything. What is it that you'd like to ask?"
He gulps and fiddles with his fingers. This is it. It's all or nothing.
"Sorry if this sounds weird, but I was just wondering if it's actually appropriate to use your number? I've never been in this position before, so I wanted to make sure we were both on the same page. Or something."
Okay, that's slightly better. It's professional. It opens up about communication. The delivery definitely wasn't the best, but hopefully, the message at least got across. But when Altus frowns and stands up to walk over to the couch, his stomach drops in fear for what he’s done.
"I don't typically give out my personal number, but I figured I'd hand it out to you given our close relationship. Judging by your behavior, I assumed we were on the same wavelength, but I sincerely apologize if not. If this made you uncomfortable in any way, I'd like to—"
"No! No! Definitely not! Sorry, I worded that weirdly, but you definitely didn't make me uncomfortable. If anything I'm really grateful and...happy you did that. I guess I just wanted some reassurance that you felt the same way and that I wasn't crazy for getting so excited."
There. He said it. The cat jumped out of the bag. He awaits the moment his boss cuts off his fantasy with sharpened words and a harsh tongue. But he doesn't. He only hums in understanding and goes to sit next to him on the couch.
"Ah, I see. Still, I should have double-checked that you were okay with it. And trust me, you're not crazy for that. If anything, I am happy as well that my gesture was so well received."
Malim turns his head to stare at Altus. In the reflection of the glasses, he sees the sheer desperation on his face and the way his eyes seem to be all too captivated by the man in front of him. Embarrassed, he quickly jumps up and off the couch and books it back toward the direction of his own office. Right before exiting, he stops to take a moment, slowly turning his head to glance behind him.
"I'll, uh, text you later?"
Altus smiles at him, and by the gods above is it one of the hottest things he's seen all year.
"Looking forward to it."
When the door closes in a hurried flee and he finally gets back to his own chair, he has to guide his own breathing so that he doesn't hyperventilate. His heart continues to race alongside his own thoughts. His fingers tremble with both nervousness and excitement. And when a wide smile subconsciously spreads across his face, he comes to the belated realization that Rosco was right all along.
He is so incredibly fucked.
*****
Malim Cendari, direct secretary for CEO Altus Zendoji, is definitely in love with his boss.
Now what?
Should he ask him out? Should he leave a little sticky note on the man's desk and then run away like a blushing schoolgirl? Should he man up and talk to him like the adult he is and have a serious conversation about communication and office romance?
Should he even do anything at all? If yesterday's events are anything to go by, he can't even survive a normal conversation if he's within 2 feet of Altus. Imagining it is one thing. But actually standing at the tip of the iceberg is another, especially when even the slightest action or words can send him flying off the edge.
He doesn't have time to think any further when the door to his office swings open. In walks the man himself, the prominent definitions of his chest muscles peaking out against the fabric of his black turtleneck. The dark trousers hug his long and muscular legs just perfectly. He's in a high ponytail again, and the glasses only add more to the sexy office look.
God, he is so fucking hot.
"Good morning, Mlem. Hope you're doing well today. I could also say the same about you too, y'know," he chuckles in that deep rich laugh of his. When Altus doesn't move from where he stands still and continues to gaze at his face with a slight upturn of his lips, that's when Malim finally realizes his fuck up.
There is no fucking way he just said that out loud.
"I uh—" he coughs and tries to pretend that never happened. "Good morning to you too, Altus! I mean, boss! Ahaha..." he awkwardly laughs and scratches the back of his head. This is it. This is the moment a meteor needs to fall down from space and crash straight into his desk. He's about to die of mortification.
But Altus doesn't seem to mind the slightest bit. Instead, he slings his blazer over the top of the stand toward the wall and walks closer to him. Nervous at the sudden gesture, he can only watch with wide eyes as his boss takes a seat on the empty corner of his desk near his chair. His heart nearly pounds out of his chest with him being so close. He can smell the fancy cologne he’s come to recognize so well and has to shove down the urge to let his eyes freely wander the other's body.
Jesus fucking Christ.
“Y’know, ever since yesterday, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I’m sure you know by now the type of person I am. So I have to ask, Mlem—what is it exactly that you want from me?”
After suddenly being put on the spot, he can only freeze under the bright spotlight, mouth agape at the bluntness. Of course, Altus is correct. His boss is renowned for being straightforward and clear with his intentions. Typically, this means asserting boundaries in the office or standing up for his workers during meetings.
Never in his entire career did he expect it to be applied to starting a moment of bubbling tension between them.
Altus laughs, and the sound goes straight to below the desk. “Ah, I was being too forward again, wasn’t I? I didn’t mean to put you on the spot, Mlem. Please don’t answer if you don’t want to. Just know that whatever your intentions are, I am more than willing to reciprocate them.”
The words sound almost too good to be true. For so long, he’s been skirting around the notion at hand, not once being direct or verbal about his feelings. Instead, he ended up going through a whole cycle of grief, making detours down the route of falling in love. But after all that, if there’s one thing he’s learned, it’s to never doubt his true guttural instincts.
This time, Malim is the one to make the first move.
With a hand guided by nothing but adrenaline, he wraps it around Altus's neck and pulls him in for a kiss. His boss instantly melts into his hold, receptively going alongside the flow. Two large hands wrap around his shoulders and slowly start to slide down to his waist. When thumbs dig into the skin near his hip bones, he instinctively lets out a moan.
"Shit, wait. The door."
Not wanting to let too much of the heat escape, Malim practically leaps off the chair and goes to lock the door to his office. Instead of getting to sit back down, Altus leads him to the desk where his back gets shoved against the wood and he's thrown straight into the kiss once more. Hands roam under his shirt and all around the skin of his chest, not leaving a single inch unexplored.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Altus pulls back for just a moment, tilting his head while awaiting the confirmation that this is something he truly desires. Malim smiles and opens his heart for him to see all that he has to offer.
"I've never wanted to do anything more in my life."
Not needing anything else to be said, they get right back to it, increasingly more passionate than before. Papers get thrown. Clothes get removed. The acceptance stage ends the cycle in a full circle with him finally getting to act out the fantasy of getting bent over his desk in a shared moment of extreme physical intimacy.
Even if it means getting the two of them fired the next day.