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This morning feels like a dream.
Lumine's had them for a while now; those vivid daydreams about Xiao that cloud her mind every time she closes her eyes. No matter what place she's in - always somewhere she can't call her home, either way - it's all the same. She goes to sleep and then, dreams about him.
It's easy to mistake dreams for reality when even after waking up, Lumine can still feel the softness of Xiao's lips against hers, feather-light brushes of his fingers and tender pleasure that sways over her body in waves. He takes his time, showing how badly he's been yearning to have her so close in his arms and show her his love. It's all slow and gentle, as if not to wake her up.
Once Lumine does, though, it's always with a racing heart and sweat making her clothes stick to her skin. Her fingertips tremble as she presses them over her lips.
It feels real. Way too real.
Sometimes, Lumine finds herself wondering if Xiao has these kinds of dreams, too. Whether he can see her face with his eyes closed and hold her in his arms even though she’s miles away, in a cold room in the inn in the foreign land of Teyvat.
If Lumine dares whisper softly in her dreams that she loves him, will Xiao hear her? When the day-to-day life puts its weight on his chest, can he find solace in her arms once he closes his eyes, too?
Lumine lets out a breathy scoff at her imagination. It’s silly and naive; and she knows it all too well. If it's just another fleeting dream of hers, it means nothing when compared to how harsh the world is.
Nevertheless, Lumine can't help but cling onto it, grasp onto the reality of her dreams so tightly it feels tangible. And maybe, just maybe, if she doesn't let go of it for long enough, it can become true.
…Well, it already did.
Lumine's gaze falls onto Xiao, the corners of her lips curling upwards as she observes the slow rise and fall of his chest, and how the light plays out on his features. This time it's real - he's real. The weight of his arm on her waist grounds her messy thoughts.
“Why are you so pretty?” she sighs quietly as her finger traces over the curve of his jaw.
Xiao smells like herbal tea and home - like everything Lumine has been longing for. His skin is warm akin to the sunlight that filters through the window and lights up the whole room. Warm like his love that melts down the walls she's tried to put on to protect her heart from falling apart into thin pieces.
A soft sigh escapes Lumine's lips.
Without thinking, she slowly runs her fingers through his hair. After a moment, she dips down and presses a featherlight kiss to his cheek right below his eye. Then a little lower, just above the edge of his jaw; and again, at the corner of his mouth. She lingers there for a moment, watching as Xiao’s lashes flutter against his cheeks. His eyes remain closed as a quiet muffled hum escapes his lips.
"Lumine..."
Xiao's voice is raspy and low from sleep, the sound of her name on his lips enough to make her heart flutter. She holds in a breath for a moment, her eyes still focused on him as she fights the urge to lean in - just a little bit closer, until the tip of her nose brushes against his and everything else loses all its meaning - and to press her lips against his. It takes everything in her to stay still now.
"Hm? What is it, Xiao?” Lumine hums, gently poking his cheek with a smile.
The corner of his lips twitches and somehow, it's enough to make Lumine think this is what true heaven looks like - that those quiet moments with his body tangled with hers and sunlight making his eyes gleam in the way that makes her heartbeat speed up a little bit are the glimpse of it.
“Did you sleep well?” her knuckles slide over his cheek, slowly and gently. Her fingertip pushes a strand of his hair off his face. “Were you dreaming about me?"
Her voice is quiet, lingering in the space between them like the snow outside the window. For a moment, Xiao remains silent and Lumine wonders if he didn’t fall asleep again. It wouldn’t be the first time for that to happen.
Sometimes, Lumine teases Xiao about being so hopelessly in love with her that he’s forgetting about the routine he’s been doing every day for centuries just to spend a moment longer in this breakable heaven with her in his arms without any care for the outside world like it stopped exisiting. Nevertheless, she can’t blame him. She’s feeling the same way he does, after all.
Suddenly, Xiao lets out a low hum before instinctively leaning into her touch. His eyes remain closed but there's the smallest faintest smile on his lips.
Xiao is more affectionate in the mornings - Lumine has noticed it weeks ago when he wrapped his arms around her and made her stay ‘just a little bit longer’ with him. A few moments melted into hours in his arms wrapped tightly around her waist and his hot labored breaths fluttering against her pulse like a silent promise of the forever none of them could dare to ever dream about in the past. And then, between two racing heartbeats tangling into one and lingering stolen kisses that didn’t seem to have an end, Xiao's body melted into Lumine's.
Today seems quite similar already - full of unspoken love lingering in the small space between the two of them.
“Maybe I did.” he murmurs softly, a bashful afterthought. “Maybe I always do have dreams with you.”
Lumine suppresses a chuckle that bubbles in the back of her throat.
Normally, she would ask Xiao countless questions. What did his dream look like? What did he see about her in it? Was it related to the past or a distant glimpse of what their future might bring them if fate allows? Does he believe that his sweet dreams might come true one day?
With every heartbeat echoing in her ears, another question sticks to her tongue, waiting to spill out of her. Yet somehow, she can't bring herself to do that.
Xiao looks so peaceful right now; and it's one of those very rare moments when he looks like he hasn't been suffering for long centuries, like every day of his life isn't filled with constant pain and isolation. Like his life hasn't felt like never-ending hell. Right now - in the faint, pale sunlight on this quiet winter morning - he looks like a young boy who lives a calm life with the girl he loves.
Sometimes, Lumine wonders what Xiao sees when he looks in the mirror. Does his sharp fangs and too-gold eyes that seem to glow in-between shades of red and dark green make him look akin to a monster that hurts others without meaning to? Does he notice the faint flickers of hurt in his gaze - something that resembles the scars on his heart - and knows it's not his fault? Do his nails scratch at his skin with sheer want to erase ghosts of his past that haunt every corner of his mind?
Knowing him, it's very likely to be true.
That's why quiet moments like today feel special, sacred. Lumine silently prays this morning will never end.
So instead of asking about anything or trying to get up instantly, she hums softly; "I think you look the prettiest like this."
Xiao's brows furrow ever so slightly. He blinks up at her, confused. "Like what?"
Lumine can't help but snort at the question, causing Xiao to send her a sleepy half-hearted glare. A quiet chuckle bubbles in the back of her throat. She bites it down quickly. Archons know what he’d do if she decided to tease him about it again or - even worse - call him cute when he feels nothing but leave him with his cheeks flushed red.
"When I'm a mess?" Xiao asks further.
The tip of his finger taps against her lower lip and before Lumine can realize what he's doing, he already moves. His arms wrap around her waist before pulling her in a tad closer to him.
Lumine swallows.
No matter how many times they've been together like this, Xiao's touch never fails to make her skin tingle. It feels like a lover's caress - so gentle although he claims he's not like that at all; so fond.
It's something that she knows will leave an imprint on her soul til the end of times even though she's afraid it might slip out of her grasp like another fleeting dream, melt away like a snowflake that lands on her cheek on a winter day.
"Hmm…” Lumine hums thoughtfully, feigning nonchalance. “No, that's not what I mean."
It's not a lie but it's not the whole truth, either. Xiao looks the prettiest when he’s all hers, with messy hair, dazed yet gleaming gaze and husky voice. No matter for how long she’s looking at him, she can’t find it in herself to look away. When she doesn’t say anything, he throws his head back onto the pillows and covers his eyes with the back of his hand.
"You're ridiculous." he chuckles under his breath, a soft tremor on her skin that causes a shiver to run down her spine. Then, Xiao looks up at Lumine, silent almost as if he’s trying to see right through her or is plotting something she has no idea of, like a prey caught in its predator’s claws without realizing it.
Something flashes in his eyes, causing them to darken and sharpen with interest. She has seen it countless times before when he has her pinned underneath him on the bed, breathless and gasping for more. When Xiao's name rolls off her tongue in the form of a breathless prayer, begging him for more.
Suddenly, he leans in. Lumine gasps. His hot breath flutters on her parted lips and then, he whispers quietly; "Kiss me."
Without thinking, she closes the distance between them.
Xiao's lips feel soft against hers as he kisses her over and over again. Affection bleeds into passion, and the whole world around them seems to fade away, everything else but the simmering tension in Lumine's stomach long forgotten. What matters is the way his lips press against hers and the strands of his hair tickle her skin, his palm brushing over her cheek to tilt her head slightly and deepen the kiss. She gasps, instinctively twisting her fingers absently through the hairs at the nape of his neck.
It's hard to tell now where he ends and she begins when Xiao's kisses leave her breathless and wanting, silently yearning for more - something, anything, as long as it's him.
Perhaps, though, this is how true love should feel like. The silent yearning and overwhelming emotions that threaten to swallow her whole one day - but even if it slowly killed her from inside, she could never give up. Not on him.
She exhales shakily into the kiss and he hums, his thumb tracing soft circles over the curve of her jaw.
"One more time." Xiao mutters quietly against her lips.
Without thinking, Lumine leans in to kiss him again; slowly, as if it's the very first time again. Up on the Wangshu Inn's balcony with the pale moonlight turning their skin into liquid silver. Back when what they have now was a delusional thought she’d imagine before going to sleep, hoping she’ll see him when her eyes close.
"Again." she feels Xiao’s lips move against hers slowly, almost lazily.
She should get out of bed now, go to Liyue harbor and see if there are any commissions she has to take care of. She should drink some warm water or herbal tea unless she wants to deal with a horrible headache later, and maybe grab a bite while she’d be at it.
And yet, Lumine feels weak. She's so, so weak when it comes to Xiao…
The way he kisses her is slow yet intense enough to make her grow breathless. She feels his hands running through her hair, resting on the back of her head just to pull her in. The only thing she can do is keep him as close as humanly possible, breathing him in and drowning in all of the sensations he offers her.
She can’t tell how much time passes when they stay like this - a few small pecks, a few words shared in between and even more breathless gasps muffled by his lips. Only after what feels like forever Xiao pulls away, his moves reluctant - but he remains close enough so the tip of his nose brushes against hers.
She can feel his hot breath on her flushed skin as he opens his mouth to say something again– but before he can do it, she quickly presses a finger against his lips.
Xiao's brows furrow, his eyes narrowing with half-affection, half-interest.
Lumine knows what will follow. Another question for a kiss - just one more, nothing else - and then, Xiao's lips will move against hers; and she will be unable to resist him. It's always like this.
In moments like this - when he's so open, so vulnerable and all hers - it's too easy to give into the temptation to stay here forever and kiss him senseless like it’s the only thing she has ever wanted to do. All the doubt that creeps in time and time again, messing with her mind when it's past two am and she still can't fall asleep, is now completely gone, replaced with sheer need. To let her palms linger on his stomach until his muscles tense under her touch, to feel his pulse flutter as she’d slide her lips against his jaw and then, down his neck. To show him how much she loves him.
"Xiao." Lumine starts, pressing her finger more firmly against his lips. "If you keep on acting like this, I will never get out of bed."
"Then don't.” Xiao answers easily, seemingly uncaring of her responsibilities. His mouth curls up into a small smirk as he bites down playfully on the tip of her finger. Her breath hitches. “Just stay here and give me a bit more of your love.”
The husky tone of his voice makes Lumine feel a bit dizzy, the haze of desire blurring her rational thoughts the moment his fingers brush against her jaw when he reaches out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. He’s doing it all on purpose - Lumine is sure that’s exactly what he’s doing, and he’s aware of it.
She knows it all… Nevertheless, it’s so hard to say no to him.
It's been a while since their love has started to bloom and little gestures as simple as the faint gleam in his eyes started to mean the world to her. Now it’s too late for Lumine to ever think of walking away. He must be aware of it, too.
“Hm?” Xiao hums softly as his lips brush against her skin slowly, a feather-light touch that's more a promise than a kiss.
Lumine feels her heart skips a beat at the sensation.
Then, slowly and teasingly, his arms wrap around her waist and he leans in. The tip of his nose brushes against the side of hers. She swallows, unable to do anything but stare at him, silently waiting - for what exactly, she’s not sure herself.
Everything would be good as long as it’s from Xiao.
His lips brush against Lumine’s as he breathes out. "Stay."
It's almost inaudible, brittle.
He didn’t have to say that. Both of them know that even if he didn't ask her, she would still want to stay with him.
Lumine presses a soft kiss in the corner of his lips and whispers; “I will, don't worry.”
When she kisses him again, she truly feels like Xiao is all hers. And if it's all just another dream, she doesn't want to wake up from it.