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"what a fool he was.." | itafushi angst oneshot

Summary:

Megumi's confession. Stuff goes wrong and shit gets sad. 1124 words.

(sorry i'm really bad at summaries. it is what is sounds like)

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Today Megumi would finally tell him. 

 

After months of hiding it and letting his feelings burn in his heart, he couldn't take the yearning anymore. He had to confess, or he might burst into flames. He didn't really want to confess, out of fear of how Itadori might react, but he needed to tell someone, and Itadori was the only person Megumi felt comfortable talking to about that sort of thing anyway. So, he decided to just go ahead and confess his feelings to Itadori.

 

He wasn't sure if Itadori liked him back or not. Sometimes, he would say things that made Megumi think he felt the same way he did. Then other times, he talked about girls, and Megumi thought he was definitely straight. Then again, he could be bisexual, but... Megumi had to stop himself from overthinking.

 

He had to do it today, he told himself. They were on a break from their classes, and although they could still be called on a mission to deal with a curse at any point, things had settled down a bit at the moment. This meant that if Megumi confessed and Itadori didn't like him back, he wouldn't have to see him for a while and would avoid feeling awkward. Today they had planned to hang out with Kugisaki for a while, walking around town going shopping and such. Later in the day, when she had to leave to go see a movie with Maki, he and Itadori would go to the park for a while. It was the perfect place and time to tell him, and this was probably the only chance so great as this Megumi would ever get. So it had to be today.

 

 

Their morning with Kugisaki was fun as it always was. Kugisaki had made Itadori carry all her things. Itadori had tried to convince them to watch a movie that Megumi and Kugisaki both agreed was weird and lame. They did all their usual things; however, inside, Megumi's heart was silently racing the whole time. All he could think about was how he would confess to Itadori. He could barely even focus on making sarcastic remarks on dumb things the other two did. 

 

Megumi hadn't thought something like this would've made him so worried for the whole day. Usually, things didn't bother him so much, but apparently this was something that spiked his anxiety. This made sense; he really cared about Itadori — not just how he loved him, but how he loved their friendship.

 

Megumi's anxiety only worsened when Kugisaki left and he and Itadori were alone. He was silent for most of the walk to the park, and what they did in the park was sort of a blur as he was in a panicked haze the whole time. He tried to collect himself as they sat on a bench under a tree. This was it.

 

This had to be it.

 

Megumi slowly inhaled and exhaled in an attempt to slow his heart. It didn't help.

 

"Itadori.. there's something I've been wanting to tell you." he said hesitantly.

 

The other boy's lit up as he smiled. "Hey, I wanted to tell you something, too!"

 

Megumi froze. What did he mean by this? Was Itadori planning to confess to him to? Did he actually have a chance? Megumi tried to calm himself as he replied, "Oh. Well, you go first."

 

"No, you said you had something to say first, so you go first."

 

"No, really, you first."

 

Itadori paused for a moment, smiling still. "Why don't we both say it at the same time?" He laughed a little as he spoke.

 

Part of Megumi wanted to laugh at how corny that was, but it was also part of Itadori he found endearing. He agreed, saying that would work, but also hoping to himself that the other boy was taking this seriously.

 

"Okay," Itadori started, "I'll count! ...3..."

 

Megumi's heart was racing. He was so afraid he frantically tried to make something else up to say, but he was too panicked to think. There was no going back now. 

 

"...2..."

 

If Itadori didn't like him back, would that get in the way of their friendship with Kugisaki? Would it get in the way of their training as jujutsu sorcerers? He hoped not. Maybe he just had to be positive. I mean, maybe Itadori did like him back! ...Maybe. Either way, there was no time left to wonder about that; he was about to get his answer.

 

"...1..."

 

"I'm in love with you!"

"I'm in love with Ozawa!"

 

 

"...What?" Itadori's smiling face dropped to one with a look of mixed emotions — shock, confusion, concern, maybe even a little disgust.

 

In that moment the small space between felt like a gaping void. Megumi looked at the other boy wide-eyed, shocked at himself, Itadori, and generally everything. They sat in silence for a moment or so, each starting at the other, each trying to wrap their heads around what they had heard. 

 

Itadori started again, slowly, "Fushiguro, I'm not... I don't... like you like that." 

 

Megumi was trembling, trying to come up with a reply, trying to get his mouth to move. He furrowed his brows in disarray. After he thought he had collected himself and was able to speak again, he looked back up at Itadori and saw that face again. It made Megumi choke on his words. 

 

All he could get out before he left was a pathetic reply. "I'm... I have to go."

 

When he stood from the bench, he began to walk away. But as he walked his pace quickened, following his heart, and his walk slowly turned into a run. He ran down the streets of the city, running to no place in particular, just running. Running away. 

 

As Megumi ran, he began to feel burning behind his eyes, but he could not cry. He wouldn't. If he cried, he could never look Itadori in the face without crying again. He could never see him without being helplessly awkward. He could never think of him without feeling sick to his stomach. If he cried, he would ruin everything they had.

 

Then he remembered that look on Itadori's face — that awful look of disgust that didn't belong on that beautiful face — and he realized he had already done just that.

 

What a fool he was to think such a wonderful, kindhearted person could ever love him. What a god damn fool.

 

And he let the tears flow.

Notes:

this is my first time writing a fic so it's prolly kinda ass but wtv
this is meant to be a one shot but i may or may not continue it if i feel like it
thanks for reading :-)