Chapter Text
Hansol paced along the length of his room.
Should he call him?
Would it be smart to?
He stopped before his mirror, fixing his hair and biting his lip anxiously until it bled, the tangy taste coating his tongue. His eyes landed on his phone through the mirror, and his fidgeting started up again.
Should he...?
He should.
Hansol turned to pick up his phone, ready to dial when he got an incoming call.
With shaky fingers, he accepted the call.
"..."
There was a pause on both ends when, "Hansol?"
--THREE MONTHS PRIOR--
"Oh, my god."
"Hm?"
"I like him."
"Duh."
Hansol stared vacantly at his hands, dumbfounded. He liked his roommate, his friend, his male friend.
"Seungkwan! I like him!" Hansol screeched, "Oh my god, what do I do?!"
"You tell him, obviously." A pause, "And try to win him over." Was added as an after thought
Seungkwan leaned his head back to see Hansol freaking out, running his hands through his hair every second.
"That doesn't work for everyone, Seungkwan." Hansol stopped in front of his mirror, looking at himself. He had always liked girls, always. He never found himself romantically or sexually attracted to another guy before, but then he came into the picture and everything changed.
"Am I gay?"
That made Seungkwan burst out laughing, face getting red and tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.
"Seungkwan!"
"Gay? No!" Seungkwan hiccupped through his laughter, "You're as straight as they come. You just happen to be attracted to a guy. There's nothing wrong with that."
Hansol frowned, "So, is he like an exception then?"
"Yeah, you can't decide who you love."
"I don't love him!"
"Lies."
"I do not!"
"Do too!"
"Do not!"
"Do too! You've liked him since he moved in!"
Hansol spluttered, hands flying about in frustration. He huffed, pressing his back against the wall and sliding down until he was sitting on the cold floor.
"Liking isn't the same as being in love with someone."
"Even if you're not in love with him, you do love him. Even if it's in a friendly way." Seungkwan hummed, laying down on Hansol's bed.
"... Yeah."
"You could be in love with him."
Sigh. "Yeah."
"You sure as hell are attracted to him--in more than one way. And by that I mean you definitely would let him fuck you."
"Oh my god, Seungkwan."
"Sorry."
Hansol thought about how Seungkwan was completely right. He liked his roommate a lot, a whole lot. But then he thought about his parents, his family in general, he thought about how if they ever held hands in public or kissed in public people would sneer at them.
He thought of the probability of him being rejected and laughed at. His roommate could be disgusted with Hansol, he could kick him out and then where would he end up?
Hansol couldn't deal with that. He wouldn't deal with that if he could help it.
"... I'm moving out."
Seungkwan shot up and looked at Hansol, bewildered and alarmed, "Wait, what?"
Hansol stood up, biting his lips nervously, "I'm moving. I'm getting away from him. I can't do this." The boy started to open drawers and shoving clothes into a bag, mumbling under his breath while Seungkwan shouted at him.
"You have nowhere to go!"
"I'll stay in a hotel!"
"You have no money!" Seungkwan snatched a pair of jeans out of Hansol's hand and tried to grab his wrists in hopes to stop him.
"What makes you say that?!" Hansol snapped, tugging on the shirt Seungkwan had a hold of, "Let go! That's my favorite shirt!"
"You can't just run away!"
"Watch me!"
----
Hansol, indeed, ran away. He didn't say goodbye or leave a note or anything. He didn't answer his calls or texts or gave answers to the rest of his friends. Seungkwan was mad at him, but thankfully he didn't say anything that wasn't his to say.
He let Hansol shut himself out.
"This will all come back to bite you in the ass, Hansol Vernon Chwe."
Hansol eventually found another apartment, another roommate. They got along pretty well, so Hansol was thankful for that.
A month passed and Seungkwan wasn't mad with him anymore, though he did snap at him from time to time for being stupid.
"I don't know how to deal with it, okay?"
"Well, you didn't have to deal with the situation like this!"
"What else could I have done?!"
"Told him and then lived happily ever after!"
"There's no such thing as a happy ever after!" Hansol snapped, "Not when two men in a relationship are involved! People will be disgusted, my family will be disgusted! There is no future for us! There never was!" Hansol spat, panting furiously. His face was red with anger and his eyes were glassy with sadness.
Seungkwan stared at Hansol, realizing that his friend didn't take liking someone of the same sex as well as he himself did.
Instead of saying anything, Seungkwan hugged his best friend and Hansol let himself be consoled.
----
Another month passed and Seungkwan would finally meet Hansol's roommate.
Turned out that Seokmin already knew Seungkwan. It was a pleasant surprise for all three, they chatted and laughed until Seokmin had to leave.
"I'm trying to cheer my friend up. He got his heart broken and he's still not over it." Hansol saw a rare frown from Seokmin and he thought the situation had to be bad enough to make Seokmin frown.
Which meant it was really bad.
"Really? Man, I hope he feels better. Make sure he finds someone better than whoever left him."
"They weren't even together in the first place. The dude just up and left without a word. He shut himself out from everyone is what I last heard."
Hansol shook his head, "Asshole."
Seokmin nodded in agreement and with one last smile and a farewell, he left.
"You know he was talking about you, right?"
"What?"
Seungkwan didn't look up from his phone as he continued to talk, "He was talking about you. You're the douche that broke his friends heart."
Hansol was perplexed, "We don't share any friends besides you."
"Oh, right. You don't know."
"Don't know what?"
"He's Soonyoung's best friend."
Hansol's world came crashing down.
----
"Don't make me go."
"He's not going to be there."
"For some odd reason, I don't believe you."
"You can leave before he gets there."
Hansol tightened his hold on his legs, pressing them uncomfortably close to his body.
"You haven't talked to the rest of your friends in two months, Hansol. You need to talk to someone, you need to stop shutting yourself out. Nobody is angry at you."
Hansol looked at Seungkwan skeptically.
"Besides Soonyoung and Seokmin. And Seungcheol."
Hansol groaned, "That's great."
The eldest of them all was mad with him, his roommate was upset with him without even knowing, and his crush was upset with him, obviously.
"I'm not going. If anyone wants to visit me, they can come to visit me here." Hansol's voice wavered and his brow was burrowed. Despite how unsure he looked, Seungkwan knew that he wasn't going to convince Hansol otherwise.
"Fine. Have it your way."
If he couldn't get Hansol to the others, he'd bring the others to Hansol. And he was going to like it.
"I'll be back with the others in a while."
"Wait, wh--"
Before he was even finished with his sentence, Seungkwan was out the door.