Archive of Our Own

Secrets. 

To Vaggie, her life had always been draped in shadows, wrapped tight in secrets she could never fully unburden. The day she took up her spear and donned Heaven’s black uniform, she was bound to silence. She was a silent guardian of divine wrath, forbidden from ever speaking of the exterminations she carried out. 

But the moment she was cast down, abandoned by the very souls that she had once thought were her allies, that secret became a chain she willingly reforged—for another reason. 

For her love. 

For Charlie. 

Out of all the Sinners who could have found her broken, bloodied body on the cracked streets of Hell, it was Charlie—the Princess of Hell—who did. And Charlie, with her radiant warmth and boundless compassion, saw her not as a fallen soldier or a relic of Heaven’s cruelty, but as a soul worthy of kindness. Vaggie had seen such light before, back when she still stood among Heaven’s ranks. But never had she seen it so fierce, so stubborn, so selfless. 

Charlie’s voice, filled with hope and passion for her people—for the damned—shook something deep within Vaggie. Her lips parted, the truth perched on the tip of her tongue… but the words never came. 

She swallowed her truth, and with it, her shame. 

The secret stayed locked away. 

She begged to the God who had forsaken her, pleaded in the quiet hours of the night that she might be allowed a simple life, a quiet life. If only she could protect Charlie’s fragile peace. 

If only she could stand by her side. 

And for a time, Vaggie was happy. 

She ignored the gnawing guilt that twisted in her gut, ignored the lie that lingered between them like a ghost. Every year, when the skies darkened with Heaven’s wrath and extermination loomed, Vaggie held Charlie close. She whispered soft reassurances, caressed her trembling hands, and offered words of love to banish the fear in Charlie’s eyes. 

But every word of comfort was a blade turned inward. 

Vaggie knew. 

She knew that the very hope Charlie clung to—the salvation she believed in, was a lie built on the silence Vaggie maintained. And yet, she told herself it was worth it. That it was necessary. That if the ends justified the means, it was okay to keep her past buried in shadows. 

It was okay to keep secrets. 

As long as it meant holding on to Charlie for just a little longer. 

But no secret stays hidden forever. 

The day they met her former commander, Adam, in front of the Seraphims, the fragile peace shattered. His words rang out like a death knell, stripping Vaggie bare. 

“Exterminator.” He had revealed everything: her past as an angel, her role in the exterminations, her bloody hands. 

Charlie’s gaze, wide and disbelieving at first, shifted through waves of emotions—denial, confusion, hurt. And finally, acceptance. A quiet, devastating acceptance that broke something inside Vaggie. 

That moment cleaved them apart. 

Vaggie reached for her, but Charlie took a step back. And though the distance between them was small, it felt as though an endless chasm had opened, and Vaggie was left stranded on the other side. Her voice, her touch, no longer seemed to reach Charlie. 

After the battle with the exterminators ended, there was peace… but not between them. 

Their love had fractured. 

Charlie didn’t cast her out. She didn’t scream or rage. She didn’t condemn Vaggie to the streets of Hell. But neither did she embrace her. Months passed in an awkward dance of polite greetings and forced smiles. The warmth that once flowed so freely between them now felt distant, strained. 

And Vaggie—who once stood proudly at Charlie’s side—now carried the weight of shame like a weight around her neck. 

She convinced herself she didn’t deserve Charlie’s love anymore. That it was better to quietly step away, to let Charlie move on. 

But the pain didn’t lessen. 

When she saw Charlie holding hands with another, the sight pierced through Vaggie’s heart. It wasn’t betrayal—not exactly. After all, they had already drifted apart. They weren’t together anymore. There was no promise left to break. 

No, what Vaggie felt wasn’t betrayal. It was clarity. 

A cold, sharp realization. 

She could never be with anyone else. Her heart belonged to Charlie, and it always would. 

And so, just as she had once taken that first, tentative step toward Charlie’s boundless love, she resolved to do it again. 

This time, not as an angel. 

Not as an exterminator. 

Not as a soldier of Heaven or a keeper of secrets. 

But simply as Vaggie. 

Even if Charlie fully rejected her. 

Even if there was no hope of rekindling what they had lost. 

Even if they could never be lovers again. 

Vaggie told herself it would be enough. 

Closure. 

That was what she needed. What they both deserved. 

If Charlie couldn’t love her anymore, Vaggie would be content to stand at her side as a friend. She would take whatever Charlie was willing to give—anything to mend the jagged rift that had left them both bleeding, hurting, haunted by what could have been. 

But as Vaggie spotted Charlie in the middle of the celebrating crowd—smiling faces and drunken laughter swirling around her like a storm—she realized closure wouldn’t come easily. Her fingers twitched, hesitating at her sides. It felt as though invisible chains shackled her wrists, threatening to drag her back into silence. 

No. 

She gritted her teeth, her vulnerability laid bare, and forced herself to move. Each step was a battle against her own fear. Her heart pounded with the rhythm of a war drum, and for a moment, it felt like she was facing an army again. 

But this time, she wasn’t armed with a spear. 

She only had her heart in her hands. 

Finally, she reached out, a delicate, trembling gesture, and her fingertips brushed Charlie’s hand. 

The moment they touched, Charlie jolted as if struck by lightning. Her shoulders tensed, and she whirled around. 

And Vaggie stopped breathing. 

There she was. 

Charlie. 

Her beautiful, radiant Charlie—with tears clinging to her lashes like tiny drops of sorrow, and streaks of anguish carved down her cheeks. Her eyes, glossy with emotion, locked onto Vaggie, wide with disbelief. 

“V-Vaggie?” Her voice was hoarse, cracked with raw pain. Her fingertips trembled against Vaggie’s. 

“Hey…” Vaggie whispered, her chest tightening painfully at the sight of her. The crowd jostled her from behind, bodies pressing too close, too loud. The noise grated against her already fragile nerves. 

With a low growl, Vaggie gripped Charlie’s hand and tugged her through the crowd. She guided her toward a quieter, more secluded part of the hotel, where the noise of celebration faded into muffled echoes. 

In the silence of the deserted hallway, the tension hung thick between them. 

Charlie sniffled, her quiet sobs breaking the stillness. Her voice wavered as she called out, “Vaggie… what’s wrong?” 

Vaggie turned to face her, brows knitted in concern. “What’s wrong? I could be asking you the same thing. Why—who—made you cry? Are you—?” 

But before she could finish, Charlie’s composure shattered completely. Her tears flooded down her cheeks, and with a choked sob, she surged forward, throwing her arms around Vaggie’s neck. 

Vaggie froze for a split second, her breath catching in her throat. But then, instinct took over. Her arms wrapped around Charlie’s trembling frame, pulling her close. 

And it felt like coming home. 

A surge of unnamed emotions flooded her chest—grief, longing, love—all tangled together in a painful, beautiful knot. Charlie’s embrace was the place she had always belonged. 

She gently rubbed Charlie’s back, the same soothing gesture she used after each year’s extermination, when Charlie clung to her, scared and shaken. 

And just like before, it worked. 

Charlie’s breathing slowly evened out, her sobs quieting to soft sniffles. But she didn’t let go. She wouldn’t let go. 

“I thought…” Charlie whispered against Vaggie’s shoulder, her voice barely audible. “I thought I could move on.” She forced out a hollow, pained chuckle. “I thought you moved on. But…” 

“I didn’t,” Vaggie interrupted gently. Her voice wavered, the weight of her emotions threatening to crack her resolve. “I never moved on, Charlie. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t want to.” 

Tears stung her eyes, blurring her vision. She blinked them back, but one escaped, tracing a warm path down her cheek. 

If her old comrades from Heaven saw her now, they’d mock her, call her weak, call her broken. But with Charlie, none of that mattered. 

Here, presently, she felt safe. Vulnerable, yes...but safe. 

Charlie pulled back just enough to look at her, her gaze filled with raw emotion. “I… I didn’t know how to talk to you after…” Her voice faltered, cracking under the weight of unspoken words. 

Vaggie’s heart ached at the sight of her. She knew exactly what Charlie meant. 

After knowing the truth. 

 After knowing, she was one of them. 

 An exterminator. 

Charlie’s lips trembled, her hands clutching at Vaggie’s jacket as if afraid she’d slip away. “I didn’t know what to say. I was hurt. I was confused. And I was scared. But…” Her voice broke again, and fresh tears welled in her eyes. “But I never stopped loving you.” 

The confession hit Vaggie like a bolt of lightning, cracking through the darkness that had consumed her heart for so long. 

“I never stopped loving you, either,” Vaggie whispered. Her voice shook with emotion, but there was no hesitation, no doubt. “Even when I thought I lost you. Even when I thought you hated me.” 

Charlie’s lips quivered, her eyes searching Vaggie’s face for any hint of deception.

“I’m sorry for keeping it a secret,” Vaggie said at last, her voice trembling with the weight of months of silence. The words spilled from her lips, tentative but steady, like a dam finally breaking. Her arms tightened around Charlie, as if afraid to let go. “I’m sorry, Charlie. If I could go back, I would never have agreed to it… but…” 

Reluctantly, she parted from Charlie’s embrace, the warmth slipping from her grasp as Charlie’s hands fell limply to her sides. 

Vaggie’s gaze searched Charlie’s face, desperate for something that might give her a sign. There was no anger in Charlie’s expression, no hatred. Only quiet sorrow, etched deep into her features. 

“I can’t undo the wrongs of my past,” Vaggie continued, her voice cracking under the weight of her emotions. Her fingers curled into fists at her sides, knuckles white from the pressure. “But I can… I want to atone. I have to believe I can.” Her eyes, dark and vulnerable, pleaded for understanding, for salvation, for something as simple and yet as unattainable as forgiveness. 

“And I will. No matter how long it takes, no matter how hard it is—I’ll make it right.” Her voice grew stronger with each word, her conviction shining through. 

“So, Charlie…” Vaggie’s voice softened, and for a moment, it trembled again. The tear she tried hard to hold back slipped free, tracing a slow path down her cheek. “I want to stand by your side. If you’ll let me.” 

Her heart pounded, every beat an ache of fear and hope entwined. She braced herself for rejection—for the sting that would undoubtedly come if Charlie turned her away. But still, Vaggie raised her hands, palms open, waiting for Charlie to take them. 

She wouldn’t let fear hold her back anymore. 

Even if it hurt, she would endure it. She would pick up the broken pieces of herself and forge them into something stronger—something better. But she needed to know. She couldn’t hover in this place of uncertainty any longer, couldn’t bear to dance on the edge of “what if” and “maybe” with Charlie. 

Charlie’s eyes flickered down to Vaggie’s outstretched hands. For a long moment, she stood frozen, tears clinging to her lashes like fragile crystals. Then, all at once, the dam broke. 

Charlie burst into tears. 

“I don’t know if you should stay with someone like me,” she sobbed, her voice ragged with guilt and self-loathing. “I—I’m not a kind person, Vaggie. I’m not who you think I am. All I ever do is make mistakes. I hurt people. I hurt someone tonight, and I…” Her words dissolved into more sobs, and with the heel of her palm, she tried to wipe away the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. 

Vaggie stepped closer, her heart aching with each broken word. 

“I’m not perfect,” Vaggie said gently, cutting through Charlie’s spiral of self-blame. “I’ve made mistakes too. More than I can count. I’ve done terrible things, Charlie. But I don’t want you to be perfect.” 

Her voice softened further, a whisper carried by fragile hope. “I care about you. I love you.” 

Charlie’s breath hitched, her sobs quieting as the words hung in the air between them. 

Vaggie took another step closer. “I’m sorry it took me so long to say it. But I love you, Charlie. I always have.” 

Charlie’s lips parted, but no words came out. She stood there, stunned, her tears still falling. Slowly, she reached out, her hand trembling as she placed it over Vaggie’s. 

“I’ve made so many mistakes…” Charlie whispered, her voice fragile, as if afraid the words might shatter in her throat. 

“So have I.” Vaggie chuckled softly, a bitter, self-deprecating sound. “We can’t change our past. We can’t erase our mistakes.” 

She curled her fingers around Charlie’s hand, squeezing gently, grounding them both in this moment. “But we can move forward. We can try.” Her smile wavered, tears gathering in her eyes again, blurring her vision. 

Charlie took a shaky breath and bowed her head, pressing her forehead against Vaggie’s. Her eyes fluttered closed, and for the first time in what felt like forever, there was peace between them. 

Vaggie’s heart thudded in her chest, a painful ache of hope and joy all tangled together. She gently cupped Charlie’s cheek, her thumb brushing away the lingering tears. 

Then, slowly, reverently, she leaned in and pressed her lips to Charlie’s. 

The kiss was soft, tender, and filled with all the things they’d left unsaid for too long. It wasn’t just a kiss. It was a promise. 

A promise to let go of their shame and guilt. 

A promise to move forward, together. 

A promise to be better than who they were yesterday, and the day before that. 

The weight of their secrets, their regrets, their fears—they melted away in that kiss. 

And as the new year dawned, Vaggie knew that whatever challenges lay ahead, they would face them together. 

For the first time in a long time, hope burned bright in her heart. 

This was a new year, a new beginning.