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From the moment it became clear that Red John was involved in the case, Teresa Lisbon started to mistrust Jane. Not that he was a trusting individual to begin with, but this time they’d actually come close to catching the man who killed Jane’s wife and daughter. They had an actual lead and Jane was acting sketchy. He avoided looking at her properly and even if that weren’t the case, there was no way he’d just accept her usual methods of working by the book. There was definitely a scheme; Lisbon just needed to know what it was, and how she could convince Jane to be part of the plan.
Their relationship was slowly advancing from co-workers to something akin to friends, yet she couldn’t trust that that friendship was enough for him to trust her with his plans. She glanced over to where he was lying on his couch, eyes closed. For a man who was currently planning the demise of his nemesis, he looked rather peaceful. “Lisbon, I can feel you staring at me. Either stop that or tell me what you want”, he chimed sleepily. She huffed, angry at him for looking right through her once again. It made her feel stupid, and she did not like that one bit.
She just continued to glare daggers at him until he pushed himself into a sitting position and looked at her properly. She was almost overwhelmed by his gaze. “What is it, Lisbon?”, he asked more nicely this time. She mused that she could just ignore him a second time but finally settled on a reply. “I can sense that you are planning something. I want to be in, Jane. We have no room for error this time, and if you try to do this on your own, you’re going to fail, and Red John and his accomplice will walk free. Hell, what’s even more important is that we find the missing girl. Her life is currently in our hands.”
He looked at her for a moment as if he was just registering her words and then, from one second to the other, he just snapped out of it. “You’re absolutely right, Lisbon. I’m sorry that I have pushed you away like I did, but I am scared. This lead seems too good to be true and if it’s a trap, I can’t risk your life by dragging you into it. I just can’t.”
“I’m a cop, Jane, it is my job to catch criminals and arrest them. Red John is a criminal, so it is my job to arrest him. Tell me, why do you think I can’t do my job in this instance?”
“Red John is different. He is dangerous and would not mind crossing any lines to get what he wants.” He looked like he wanted to continue, but Lisbon didn’t let him. “So, what, Jane? You’re going to play bait and wait until he finally catches and kills you?” He huffed angrily, but with that, all his anger – or maybe it was desperation – seemed to dissipate. “I just don’t want you to get hurt”, he exhaled quietly. She understood just what he meant. “I don’t want you to get hurt either, so please, let me help you.”
They just waited there in this heavy silence, Jane sitting on his couch and Lisbon standing in front of him. She refused to be the one to speak first and after some moments, she started to believe that nobody would break the silence. “Okay”, he said finally. “Okay?”
“Yes, I’ll tell you my plans and agree to let you help me”, he confirmed. She could almost not believe him. “No tricks, no schemes?”, she asked uncertainly. “Not now, not with you, I promise.” He held out his hand for her to shake it and she did, confirming their agreement.
Although she was now included into Jane’s plan, Lisbon was still wary, because she could not fully believe that Jane wouldn’t do something incredibly stupid when Red John was involved. She wanted to trust him so badly, but she couldn’t. Not after every time he had fooled her and let her in the dark about everything he did.
Jane was lying on the couch again, thinking everything through, and Lisbon was sitting next to him at his desk and tried to organise her thoughts by writing them down in a little journal. Every now and then Jane would say something she should write down and so she did. Lisbon wasn’t quite happy with the plan because it meant sacrificing Jane and using him as bait, but it was the best they could come up with.
Jane refused to do anything else, because he believed that Dumar would lead him to Red John. When he talked about that, his eyes seemed glazed over and it scared Lisbon how crazy he looked. She clung to the hope that Jane wasn’t done for and that she could be his anchor to sanity. Maybe that said more about her craziness than his, but she didn’t care. She needed him to be okay, whether they finally caught Red John or not.
Jane must have noticed that she was immersed too deep into her thoughts to continue with her writing. “Lisbon, are you still listening to me?” His voice cut right through her pondering, and she winced slightly. “Yes, yes. I’m fine. I was just thinking.” She paused and waited for him to really look at her, because this was important, and she needed him to listen. “If it comes down to it, Jane, your life is more important to me than catching Red John. Do you get that? If catching him means losing you, I won’t do this.”
From one moment to the other he was stood up and looked at her like she had just slapped him across the face. “How can you say that!? You know that catching him is more important than anything!” Somehow, she was stood up too and standing so close to him that she could feel the heat radiating off of him. “No, how can you say that!? Your life is important. Now stop the nonsense and let us continue with the plan.”
They stood like that for a while, staring at each other and breathing heavily. The silence was charged with tension. Lisbon didn’t know what he must have seen in her eyes, but he lowered himself onto the couch again and apologised. “You’re right, Lisbon. I’m sorry for putting this all on you.” “It’s fine.” But it wasn’t really fine, she thought to herself. They would have to talk about it sometime, because she couldn’t even begin to describe in what ways her heart broke when he told her how little he valued his own life.
After that, they spoke more carefully to each other, more guarded. Lisbon didn’t know whether she was grateful for it or not. Their plan was wrapped up quickly. They only needed to go back to Sierra Nevada and catch the killer. As Jane had put it: “Easy as that.”
The drive was a silent one and although it took only a bit over an hour, it seemed to take forever with Jane’s eerie silence. Lisbon really wasn’t used to it, but she didn’t know what she could have said to break the ice and take them back to where they were before all this again. She would in an instant if she knew how to do it.
When they met up with Sherriff Hardy Jane started with the plan to get them separated and got into the car with him. From then on, Lisbon was a mess. She knew that Jane told her not to follow them immediately, because that would scare Red John away, but she was so scared that she was going to be too late. She didn’t think she could live with herself if she was the reason Jane died.
The tracker he was carrying with him still gave a clear signal and she watched the little red dot move quickly towards a big forest. Fuck this, she thought and started the car to follow him. She would argue with him about losing a lead any day when it meant he wasn’t dead.
When she arrived at the place where the red point had stopped, she was faced with a wooden cabin, in front of which Hardy’s car was parked sloppily. She killed the engine and drew the gun. Slowly, she advanced towards the house. Inside, she heard voices and when she heard the Sherriff’s agitated one, she sped up. If Jane could do one thing, it was getting on people’s nerves and when someone held him at gunpoint that maybe wasn’t the best idea.
She heard Hardy’s voice coming from the basement and hoped and prayed that she wasn’t too late. “How’d you know it was me?”, he was asking Jane. She decided that this was enough and before Jane could say anything to aggravate him further, she stormed out of hiding. “Don’t move!” Hardy looked torn between shooting at her and trying to escape and giving up. Luckily for her, he decided for the latter and put the gun down. That’s when Jane finally replied. “Rosalind mentioned that Dumar was a heavy smoker who was trying to quit. And you, you chew on those nicotine gums all day long.”
After she put cuffs on Hardy, Lisbon finally looked at Jane. “Are you alright?” He just shook his head. “You didn’t listen to the plan.” She hated that he was doing this again. “He would have killed you, Jane.” “And he would have led you straight to Red John.” If Hardy wasn’t in the room with them, Lisbon didn’t know what she would have done. Maybe punched Jane in the nose. “You'd be dead.” He still didn’t seem to comprehend her problem with the whole affair. “But you would have Red John.”
“I don't think you mean what you say. I think you'd choose life.”
“Well, you think wrong.” She wished she could just stop with this argument and tell him that she didn’t care, but she couldn’t. “No. No. You think wrong. Can't you see there's people who care about you, who need you? You're being selfish and childish. And I want you to stop it.”
Before he could say something to contradict her, she cut him off. “Maya, we need to get Maya”, she stressed. They found the girl shivering and afraid locked away in a room. When the back-up finally arrived, they put Hardy in one of the police cars and took Maya with them to bring her back to her parents.
For once, Lisbon let Jane drive to sit in the backseat with the girl to comfort her. She was shivering the whole time and crying silently. Lisbon couldn’t blame her. It must have been terrible for her being locked up in that room while Hardy just waited for her to fall in love with him. Lisbon only hoped for the girl that he never made any advances.
Maya clung to Lisbon’s hand, and she tried her best to steady her on the short ride. Every now and then, Jane would catch her eye in the rear-view mirror and drive a bit faster to get the girl home as fast as possible. His whole anger seemed forgotten now that he had someone to take care of. She had always Jane was always this cocky know-it-all, but when he worked with kids, he was so different to the image he usually presented of himself.
When he stopped the car, Lisbon didn’t understand what was happening at first before she realised that they had arrived. Maya didn’t seem to notice either, so Lisbon gently squeezed her hand to get her attention. On Maya’s other side Jane had already opened the car door for her. Then it was like Maya had woken up from a stupor; she got up and ran – straight into the arms of her parents. They clung to each other and cried and while Lisbon watched she felt a tear or two build up in her eyes as well.
Jane was making his way over to her when hell broke loose. Hardy had somehow managed to escape and get a gun. A gun, which he was now pointing at Lisbon. Everything was happening so fast, and she was worried that if she attempted to pull hers as well that he would shoot her. She’d have no chance. He was an experience gunman, and she was fast sure, but not that fast. When she saw that he was tensing up by the minute, she knew that she would die either way. Staring down the barrel of his gun, she remembered how she always imagined such a moment to be. She thought she would see something from her childhood flash by, but all she could think off was Jane. They hadn’t made up and now they never would.
Hardy had his finger on the trigger already and when she heard a shot, she was astounded that she was still standing. She didn’t feel any pain, but she supposed that her brain was playing tricks on her. But when she saw Hardy fall to the floor, she realised that it wasn’t him who had pulled the trigger. Someone had shot him. When she looked around, she found none other than Jane pointing a rifle at Hardy and looking utterly traumatised. In an instant, he dropped the weapon to run over to Hardy.
It broke her heart for him, because she knew that Hardy was the only chance, he had at getting Red John and he had just lost that chance. He has not only lost it; he had killed it by his own hands so that she wouldn’t get hurt. From then on, every seemed to pass her by in a rush.
Maya and her family were rushed inside the house and then there were paramedics who politely ushered her and less politely shoved Jane away from Hardy. She knew that he hated this kind of tumult and instinctively took him by the sleeve to pull him aside. His hands were covered in blood, and he was crying.
When they were far enough away for the noise to have quietened down, she stopped, and he stopped with her as if he didn’t have any energy left to act on his own. Because she didn’t know what else to do, she just put her arms around him and held him together. After a moment he put her arms around her. She was now bloody as well, but she didn’t care. After another moment he started shaking. She waited for him to calm down and eventually he did.
As if embarrassed, he pulled away from her again, but because he couldn’t let go fully yet, he kept one of her hands in his own. “I almost lost you today, Lisbon. I saw him aiming that gun at you and I just acted. Lisbon, I just shot him without thinking twice.” She could sense his distress. He, who was usually the first to run away or hide behind her when things got violent, had just shot a man. “You saved my life, Jane. You acted quickly and I’m glad you did so well. Thank you.”
She hoped that her words would somehow be able to calm him, but they didn’t. “I’m scared, Lisbon. When I thought that you were going to die, it was like a switch in me was flipped and all I could think about was stopping him from killing you. If I hadn’t found that rifle, I think I would have tried to attack him with my bare hands. It scares me how much I care. Because I do, care a lot about you and I don’t think I would survive if I had to watch you die.”
His words felt like someone had just poured a bucket of ice-water over her head. She didn’t know what to say. Jane looked so vulnerable right now and she wanted to make it right again.
“I can’t promise you not to die, because my job puts me in danger at all times, but I can promise you to be careful.”
He was still quiet after that and didn’t look one bit better.
“I care too, you know? And I think it scares me too, Jane. We shouldn’t work together like we do, and you shouldn’t understand me like you do, but that’s just the way it is. We can just promise each other to always have the other’s back. Deal?”
“How can you still say that? I promised them I would find Red John and kill him, but now I lost my only lead to him. Hardy’s dead, isn’t he? I can never ask him who Red John is. I have made one serious promise in my life, and I didn’t manage to keep it. Lisbon, I can’t promise to take care of you and have your back. I’m a compulsive liar!”
She knew she shouldn’t be angry with him, the man was traumatised, but she was scared and tired and thought she was going to die, so her behaviour wasn’t at its best.
“Okay, fine! Don’t have my back, but just know that I’ll always have yours. Because you know what? Even though I really shouldn’t, I have somehow developed an unreasonable attachment to you and couldn’t not have your back and take the fall for you even if I tried to.”
She felt sorry immediately, because how could she just scream at him when he had saved her life and thus killed somebody? She didn’t know what to say and just waited for his answer. It would be fine by her if he was angry at her and decided not to talk to her for a while. He would probably be right to do so.
“Lisbon, I’m sorry, please don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t want to be there for you as you are there for me, but I am scared. I feel like I am broken, and I don’t want you to see that. I’m not only scared of caring for you more than I already do, but I’m also scared of you. You are the only one who could hurt me right now and a twisted part of my brain tells me that you will because I deserve it. I’m sorry I can’t do this.”
“What if I’m just your friend long enough for you to trust that I wouldn’t do that? Jane, you’re my best friend and I would hate to lose that friendship.”
“Okay.”
His eyes were still filled with tears and hurt, but he smiled at her. He let the hand he was holding go and, in a childlike gesture, extended his pinkie to her. “Best friends?”
“Best friends”, she agreed and linked her pinkie through his.
She knew they weren’t ready to talk about whatever feelings they had just stirred up this evening, but they were alright. They had each other anyways.