Work Text:
Katsuki sighed, tucked away in his special nook. It was dark outside, the cool breeze leaving goosebumps along his arms. The streetlamps were on, glowing in yellow hues that bathed the sidewalks and grass in a soft light.
He hated them.
It didn't reach him, tucked in close to a bush. It was large, wood trunks holding up a mass of leaves than encased a nearly hollowed inside. He leant against the center trunk, shoes tangled in the earthy roots.
The leaves around him were large and flat, like siding on a house. They hid him away, rustling only with the breeze. This was his sanctuary, his safe place, his bastion in the night.
This was his safety, his shelter from the harsh world outside. In this park, with the sandy dirt and the squeaking of the nearby swings in the wind. This was home, it always has and always would be.
A house was where he lived, yes, but a home was different. It was a safe place where he could sit and think; where he could sit and weep.
He didn't have a bad life, he had good parents, good grades, a good school, good friends. He had a good life, so why did he have to hide here? Why did he have to sob into the endless nights?
Each night was heavy with lament, each star a tear shed by the heavens. Each night that he spent tucked away was so full of agony, so full of sorrow and hate.
He was grieving over a life he already lived.
Katsuki had a good life, so why was it empty? Unfulfilled and yearning. He couldn't understand, couldn't grasp why he felt like this.
So nights when his heart aches and his eyes blurred, he escaped to his sanctuary, his fortress in the park. He escaped from those golden streetlights, from the life he lived.
No, it wasn't living. He was surviving, not living.
Surviving and he didn't know how to change that. He didn't know how to live, how to make this pain go away.
His life was good and he didn't know why. Why he had this good life, why he felt so undeserving of it, why it felt like it wasn't his. He could fathom why it felt surreal.
It was his life, hit it felt like he was just in autopilot, stuck in the passenger seat, stuck watching as his life played out as he survived in a personality crafted to mask the endless emptiness.
Crafted to hide away his never ending pain. Crafted to pretend he wasn't in a desolation of his own creation. He'd lived once, not just survived. Now all he did was yearn for that life.
He just wanted to start over, to try again in a life that wasn't his. He wanted to try something new, something he hadn't thought of yet.
Those streetlamps, he wanted to hide away from them, to break the bulbs and snuff them out. He wanted to disappear like they did in the sunlight.
He wanted to be far away from them, he wanted to be under this bush, forever safe. Forever hidden away.
He didn't want to survive anymore, he wanted to live.
But that. That wasn't possible, it wasn't realistic. Not after everything, not after who he'd crafted himself into. Not anymore.
He'd never be able to live, only survive.
Only survive and he hated that.
Katsuki wanted it to stop, to disappear from everything and start anew. That's what he wanted.
So he did. That very night, he climbed up that pole and snuffed out the light. He climbed up every lamppost and shattered every bulb, every light. Katsuki didn't stop until every light was out, every glow was gone. Didn't stop until the darkness engulfed him.
And then he stopped. He stood still in the endlessness and stared at the moon. He stood there and took it all in. He would disappear under this moon, away from those streetlamps.
He stopped and let out a breath. Stopped and stared into the night. Stopped and breathed in the breeze.
He then tucked himself back in, his bastion protecting him from the life he didn't want. He would disappear, he would disappear like everyone did.
Far, far away like those fairy tales, that's where he'd go. To Neverland and Fairyland and all those in between. That's where he'd go.
Where he'd start anew.
And he did. Katsuki disappeared under the moon. He just kept on hoping, wishing, for his fairy tale world. He'd find it, he knew he would.
After all, he was still a kid, still able to go, still able to disappear from this world.
To Fantasia and Wonderland, to Avalon and the Moors, to the Shadowlands and Oz. He could still go there, still disappear from this life and live there.
He could live there, not just survive.
That's what he wanted.
With each breath, he willed himself away, willed his dreams to come to life. He'd trade his quirk, his very essence. He'd trade his life to disappear.
And the universe seemed to listen. His body growing cold, eyelids growing heavy. The universe seemed to listen to his cries, his wistful wishes.
It seemed to listen as he left, as he disappeared into the moonlight, far away from those broken streetlights. Far away from his surviving life.
The universe seemed to listen as he was gently pulled away, watching as his body got further away with every second, every heartbeat.
His wish was fulfilled, he was free, he had disappeared. He watched as his body began to crumble, to break apart into glittering motes, into shining pixie dust.
He watched from above as his physical body disappeared, eclipsed into the moonlight.
And with that, Katsuki was gone. His wish was granted, his life gone in an instant; snuffed out like each shattered bulb.
The universe listened, and sent him on his way, off to Neverland. Off to Fantasia and Avalon.
He disappeared and left his good life behind, his surviving would begin to be living.
Katsuki could only feel joy as he ascended up to the moon, to his fairy tale worlds.