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Chewing at his bottom lip, Lu Guang squints at the distant shape of Cheng Xiaoshi’s body. Obscured by the dim light and the dozens of people constantly moving between them, Lu Guang can only faintly make out the contours of his face - all strong jawline and straight nose. There’s a wide smile on Cheng Xiaoshi’s face as he leans forward to the stranger by his side, and for a moment, the glow of the ever-changing lights paints his face a bubblegum pink. How Lu Guang wishes he could run his fingers through that messy hair, always so soft to the touch, and then pull - pull until Cheng Xiaoshi is into his arms instead. Away from anyone else… Lu Guang huffs and slumps back in his seat in frustration.
The sofa is so soft. He lets his body sink into it. The flashing lights give way to darkness and he can feel some of the tension leaving his body.
Now, it’s the morning sun that illuminates Cheng Xiaoshi’s profile instead, while he’s wolfing down his full-course breakfast. Sunbeams are dancing on the coffee table. A box of chocolates is placed on one of its corners, patiently waiting its turn.
“Ah!” Cheng Xiaoshi slaps his chopsticks on the table. “Tonight! I almost forgot. You don’t have plans, right?” He doesn’t even give Lu Guang the chance to reply before he informs him of what they’re going to do that night.
Lu Guang side-eyes him before returning his gaze to the book he’s holding. A nod is all Cheng Xiaoshi needs. It’s easy to imagine the wide triumphant grin that spreads across his face when he claps his hands once and says something along the lines of ‘Of course I can count on my GuangGuang’ , before returning his attention to the food awaiting him.
Unfortunately for Lu Guang, he cannot return his own attention to the book he had been reading but a moment ago. He’s glad Cheng Xiaoshi can’t hear his heartbeat - he sincerely hopes Cheng Xiaoshi can’t do that, given how loudly it thumps in Lu Guang’s chest…
He skips coffee that day, but even then he’s all jittery. It’s almost as if Cheng Xiaoshi has passed it on to him with just a few words. There’s the tapping of his foot on the floor; the chewing of his lip; all the noise from clicking the pen a million times… Lu Guang tries to take deep breaths; he receives a strawberry-flavoured bubblegum from Qiao Ling, and even resorts to writing with a pencil…
Then, Cheng Xiaoshi is rummaging through the gigantic pile of clothes which was supposed to be organised more than a week ago. He’s huffing and puffing, moving the mess from one side of the room to the other, little by little, piece by piece, all the while complaining that there’s nothing good enough for them to wear in the evening.
Lu Guang has long since muted out the noise thanks to his headphones. His fingers are tapping on the keyboard and for the first time that day, he’s so engrossed in what he’s doing that the shock he’s experienced at breakfast is successfully pushed to the back of his mind.
The small box that pops out of nowhere is what snaps him back to reality.
“Phew! I thought I'd lost it!” Cheng Xiaoshi lets out a nervous laugh while wiping away the sweat from his forehead. “Wanna try ‘em?”
Lu Guang does a double take at the pouch of heart-shaped cookies. During the silence that follows, Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes flick back and forth from Lu Guang to the pouch, and after a short consideration, he shrugs, unties the red bow, and dives in. Lu Guang gulps, watching the cookie disappear into his friend’s mouth, and reaches for the pouch himself. He’s overwhelmed by the sudden avalanche of saccharinity, his mind left in a haze as he indulges the sweets with Cheng Xiaoshi (they vanish in seconds)...
Later, chin resting in his palm, Cheng Xiaoshi watches with a smile as a piece of the strawberry cake he’s ordered disappears too, bite after bite. Lu Guang finds it impossible to believe he would get something only to not eat it in the end. And besides, the cake’s not bad at all, Lu Guang finds out, the fluffy sweetness melting on his tongue.
Suddenly a hand reaches, thumb gently wiping a bit of cream off the corner of Lu Guang’s mouth before he can react. As if in slow motion, Cheng Xiaoshi brings it to his own lips and flicks his tongue, delighting in the way Lu Guang’s eyes widen…
Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick…
Lu Guang snaps back to reality with a start when the sofa suddenly dips. He’s back at the club and Cheng Xiaoshi is now sitting beside him, two bottles in his hands. He hands one to Lu Guang - ‘Here,’ he says in that annoyingly playful tone of his that sends thrills down Lu Guang’s spine, before taking a sip from his own. His throat bobs. The tip of his tongue runs across his bottom lip and is gone before Lu Guang knows it. He’s left staring at Cheng Xiaoshi’s moist, rosy lips. The vibrant club lights make them even more inviting. Lu Guang hopes that the pinkish glow is making it harder to notice his own burning face though. He quickly looks away, eyes searching for anything that’s not Cheng Xiaoshi’s face to focus on.
It’s not long before he downs his bottle and by that time, the band they’re there to see is already on the small scene. Lu Guang lazily follows their movements as they start playing, shadows gliding on the floor and fingers moving at light speed across fretboards. A soft melody is flowing, making Lu Guang’s heart swell with longing. He turns his head to the side, searching for Cheng Xiaoshi who seems to have forgotten about the world around him, focused solely on the notes full of tenderness that reach him.
They grow dimmer, just like everything around, and soon fade to black. For a moment, only the city lights coming in from the floor-to-ceiling windows illuminate the place. A mosaic of flickering hues in the distance, underneath the vast indigo of the night sky.
The silence comes to an end with a few cheerful chords and all of sudden the place is revived, people stir awake from the daze of the last song and start moving with newfound vigour. Lu Guang belatedly realizes that Cheng Xiaoshi is one of them. He has sprung up from his seat and has taken Lu Guang’s bottle from his hand in a flash. The latter is left staring up at his face dumbfounded. The innumerable stars projected on the walls surround Cheng Xiaoshi.
“C’mon!” He offers Lu Guang a hand with a grin.
Lu Guang loathes the idea. He much prefers watching from the sidelines - it’s what he’s used to, yet Cheng Xiaoshi once again proves that he’s more than capable of getting Lu Guang directly involved in his shenanigans. Reckless and always acting on impulse is what Cheng Xiaoshi is, and now, Lu Guang is standing on the dance floor, surrounded by a bunch of strangers.
His wrist feels too cold for a moment when Cheng Xiaoshi lets go of it, but then his fingers quickly find their way to Lu Guang’s, entwining them together. It’s as if the entire world is shaking. The song goes on…
'Why are you so far away?' he said
'Why won't you ever know that I’m in-'
Next to him, Cheng Xiaoshi’s presence is so distracting, it pulls Lu Guang out of the music. He turns to look at him, completely mesmerized by the performance, smile beaming brighter than the flashing lights. Perhaps feeling the gaze on his skin, Cheng Xiaoshi looks back and their eyes meet. It all comes to a halt; the loud music is but a quiet buzz in the distance. As if everything is so very far away, as if only the two of them exist at that moment.
Then, Lu Guang stumbles backwards when Cheng Xiaoshi throws his arms around his neck, fingers making their way into his hair, playing with the short strands covering the nape. He can feel the burning breath landing on his skin when Cheng Xiaoshi leans in to shout in his ear.
“I love this one!”
However, Lu Guang can barely make out the words. His ears are buzzing and head spinning. He closes his eyes for a moment and, lulled by the music, leans forward to rest his forehead on Cheng Xiaoshi’s shoulder.
Their bodies are swaying like one with the music, guided by Cheng Xiaoshi. The distinctive smell of the fog machines has seeped into his clothes, but if he tries hard enough, Lu Guang can still sense Cheng Xiaoshi’s scent, so familiar and calming. Lu Guang breathes it in and a moment later cracks his eyes open. What he sees beyond the shoulder he’s leaning on is so far from what he truly desires. Without a second thought, he grabs Cheng Xiaoshi’s hand and makes a beeline for the exit, swiftly avoiding anyone in their way.
His friends’ protests are drowned out by the music and by the time the door is shut behind their backs, Cheng Xiaoshi is breathless. Lu Guang doesn’t stop until they’re hidden in the shadows of the steep spiral staircase.
Cheng Xiaoshi leans against the railing, wiping the sweat from his forehead. For a beat, neither of them says a thing.
“So… what was that for?” Cheng Xiaoshi laughs, tilting his head. A playful smirk is dancing on his lips and Lu Guang finds himself unable to look elsewhere.
Next thing he knows, his hands are gripping the unsteady railing, trapping Cheng Xiaoshi in between. He’s staring at Lu Guang with a mix of surprise, confusion and curiosity.
Lu Guang leans forward. Their faces are so, so close now that he can feel each shaky exhale of the other landing on his skin. He knows it’s the same for Cheng Xiaoshi.
“Um, GuangGuang,” Cheng Xiaoshi breathes his name. “You know, it kinda hu-”
The space between them is erased when his lips are claimed by Lu Guang. The world is spinning around them and when Lu Guang presses forward, bodies flush against each other, he feels Cheng Xiaoshi’s breath catch in his throat. Two hands grab at the back of Lu Guang’s shirt for support and Cheng Xiaoshi lets himself be kissed by him - his cheeks and his forehead and his lips, until they’re both dizzy and panting, yet still yearning for more.
“Wait-” Lu Guang kisses him again, body moving on its own with impatience and desire. “Lu- Lu Guang! Wait…”
The breathless plea is accompanied by a firm hand against his chest as Cheng Xiaoshi tries to push him away. That’s good actually, Lu Guang finds himself thinking, because as much as he needs Cheng Xiaoshi’s tongue in his mouth, alas, he also needs air. He stares at his friend’s lips - puffy, red, and wet, and wishes he could taste them again. Lu Guang gulps and, with great difficulty, tears his gaze away.
“Fuck.”
The air here is so stuffy and the walls so thin, they can’t really mute the loud music coming from next door. It does no good in helping him calm his frantic heart. A moment (or an eternity; for once, Lu Guang is not sure how time works) later, the hand that's been resting lightly against his chest retreats. Lu Guang swears he’d be able to see a handprint there. A scar left through his clothes by the searing touch. A bit to the left, right where the beating’s louder. He wonders if it has scared Cheng Xiaoshi, if that’s the reason he pulled his hand away, finding the intensity of Lu Guang’s feelings uncomfortable.
But then, Lu Guang feels it again. A feather-light touch on his hipbone he wouldn’t have felt otherwise. It’s inevitable now, given how he’s acutely aware of everything, his whole body on edge. Everything happens too fast and too slow. As if Cheng Xiaoshi is testing the waters, trying to see how far Lu Guang is willing to let him go. He’s teasing him, just like he always does, invading his personal space, his mind, his everything… It’s unbearable. Lu Guang hates him - this side of him that’s acting as if Lu Guang wouldn’t gladly give him his all. Cheng Xiaoshi doesn’t even need to say or do anything.
This time though, Lu Guang prays he does. He prays it’s not just the regular teasing he’s always been subjected to. He wishes it’s different this time, that Cheng Xiaoshi wouldn’t stop, that at least once he would be greedy and take what he wants. Lu Guang’s body is on fire. He hopes , above all else, that Cheng Xiaoshi wants him. At least a fraction of how much Lu Guang wants him in return.
Cheng Xiaoshi’s touch becomes bolder and his hand travels lower, and he squeezes. It takes Lu Guang a moment to realize that the surprising yelp that’s reached his ears was his own. His eyes, wide with shock and embarrassment, find Cheng Xiaoshi’s. Perhaps his reaction is amusing because Cheng Xiaoshi chuckles and pulls him forward.
“You’re so cute,” he breathes against Lu Guang’s neck, the tickling sensation gone too soon as it’s replaced by soft, burning lips.
“GuangGuang… wanna leave?” Cheng Xiaoshi whispers in between kisses.
“Leave…” Lu Guang echoes, far too gone to care for anything that’s not the heavenly feeling Cheng Xiaoshi bestows upon him. Fingers dance on his skin, tips leaving burning traces in their wake. They trace his neck, his jaw, the shape of his ear.
“Yeah. Lu Guang...” With one last kiss, Cheng Xiaoshi lifts his head. It’s impossible to see him clearly. “Let’s go home.”
Show me how you do it, and I promise you
I promise that I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you