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Laura Hollis has known Carmilla Karnstein for three years now. They met in their last year in college when Laura’s roommate dropped out and Carmilla took her place. They never got along well. The two girls were always fighting about something, be it Carmilla’s general dislike for cleaning and organizing or Laura’s tendence to snoop about things that didn’t concern her; they were always on the brink of war. Laura was glad when they finally graduated and she didn’t have to put up with Carmilla anymore.
That didn’t last as long as she had hopped for, though. As strange as it may have seem in the beginning, Carmilla actually became a really good friend to one of Laura’s best friends, LaFontaine. Having a friend in common meant that Laura and Carmilla continued to meet each other frequently, usually at Lafontaine and their partner’s, Perry, home for dinner. LaFontaine would constantly nag Laura about having a crush on Carmilla, which she vehemently denied, although she acknowledged that Carmilla was a very beautiful and attractive woman.
In the two years after they graduated, Carmilla stopped picking on Laura so much, although she didn’t stop calling her by all sort of pastry nicknames, which drove Laura crazy and she would always rant to LaFontaine, “Why can’t she use my bloody name?”. However, Laura recognized that Carmilla wasn’t as bad as she had previously thought. During the many dinners that they had together with their friends, Laura got to know more about her former roommate and was rather impressed by how intelligent and thoughtful she actually was. She realized that Carmilla could be someone she would love to have in her life if only she would stop trying to get Laura to tear her hair out.
It was much to Laura’s surprise that Carmilla knocked at her door on that Saturday morning, one week before the wedding of their friends Perry and LaFontaine. She had been cleaning her apartment dressed in sweatpants and an old, faded T-shirt, and her hair was tied up in a messy bun. Not the look she’d like Carmilla to see on her, for she would surely use that to tease her later.
“Hum, hi.” Laura said, when she opened the door.
“Hey, Cupcake, can I come in?”, Carmilla answered in what was probably the most amicable tone she’d ever used with Laura.
“Yeah, sure.” Laura replied while stepping aside for her to come in.
Carmilla entered the apartment and started looking around, seemingly as uncomfortable as Laura was feeling.
“So, what are you doing here? Is there something wrong with Perry and Laf?” Laura started awkwardly, not really imagining what the other girl could possibly be doing at her place.
“No, nothing is wrong with them, if you don’t take in consideration Perry’s obsession over every single detail of the wedding.” Carmilla answered with her trademark smirk.
Laura laughed at that, “Don’t remind me, she’s been driving Laf and me crazy. I just wish she would relax a bit.”
“Yeah, me too.”
They were standing in the middle of Laura’s living room, looking at each other awkwardly.
“So, you’re here because…” Laura trailed off, she was having a hard time dealing with the fact that Carmilla was at her place, of her own volition.
“Right, yeah. So…” Carmilla looked flustered and extremely uncomfortable, something Laura had never witnessed before. She took a deep breath and started again. “So, I’m here because I need help with something and I think that you’d be the best person to help me.” She said all that very fast, only glancing at Laura quickly at the end before looking away again.
Laura’s jaw fell open. She was astonished that Carmilla was not only admitting to needing help with something, but she was actually asking Laura for it.
“Okay”, she answered hesitantly, “what exactly can I help you with?”
Carmilla chewed her bottom lip and took a deep breath before answering.
“You see, there’s this girl that I like. Well, I have liked her for quite a while now. And, well, I just don’t know how to tell her that. I mean, you know me, you know I’m not good with the feelings thing. So I was wondering if you could help me figure out a way to tell her how I feel.” she said all this very quickly and without looking at Laura once.
If Laura was astonished before, it was nothing compared to now. Carmilla Karnstein, lady-killer, heartbreaker, queen of casual sex, actually liked someone? Not only that, she wanted to declare her feelings? And wanted Laura to help her with that? The world might as well be ending, the way Laura saw it.
“Well, I, huh…” Laura started without really knowing what to say. “Ok, huh, I’m not sure I’m the best person to help you Carmilla. Maybe you should talk to Laf, or even Perry. I mean, we don’t even get along well, I’m not sure I could help with this.”
“No, it has to be you. Perry is going crazy over the wedding and Laf agrees that you’re the best person to help me.” She finally looked Laura in the eyes. “Look, Creampuff, I know I have not been the nicest person to you, but I know you and there’s no one better than you to help me. And I really need to do this. I just can’t go on without telling this girl how I feel. I love her so much that there's no one else for me. So, please?” She said in a very quiet voice, keeping her eyes locked with Laura’s.
Laura’s thoughts were in a jumble. If asked, she’d have told anyone that she believed Carmilla incapable of really loving someone. Yet, here she was, telling Laura that she loved a girl so much that there was no one else for her, the woman who could get all the girls she wanted. Looking in her eyes, Laura saw the truth behind the words. Carmilla was really in love with someone. Wow, who would have thought it possible?
“Okay, I’m still not sure I’m the best person to help you, but I’ll try.” Laura answered, still unsure of why Carmilla thought her the ideal person to help.
“Thank you, Cupcake”, she said and gave Laura what was probably the first genuine smile since they met.
“So, hum, tell me about this girl. What’s so special about her? What do you love about her?”
Carmilla walked over to the window and started talking with her back to Laura.
“She is just so beautiful. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. Her eyes sparkle with life and happiness. And her smile could light up a dark room.” She sighed, and continued. “She is so good with people, wherever she goes she makes friends and everybody loves her. She’s always there for her friends, I’ve never seen anyone so loyal before. She’ll put her friends before her and sacrifice herself if needed. She’s also so very smart, she can debate any topic and hold her ground, even against me, which not everyone can. I love listening to her talking, especially if it’s something she’s passionate about. She gets so excited that it’s contagious. She’s caring, but fierce. She’s everything I’ve ever dreamed about and more.”
She finally turned around and looked at Laura again.
“Wow” Laura said, in awe of the emotions she saw swirling in Carmilla’s eyes. She looked at the other woman in silence, wondering about this newly discovered side of her, and she couldn’t help but think that, whoever this girl was, she was very lucky indeed. Shaking herself off of her stupor, Laura spoke again:
“Well, does she have any idea about how you feel? Have you showed her in any way that you’re interested?”
“No”, Carmilla said, looking at her feet, “I was kind of an asshole around her.”
“Of course you were.” Laura replied rolling her eyes.
“It’s just that being near her makes me nervous and I kind of just fumble around, not really knowing how to act and I just end up being a jerk to her all the time.”
Laura laughed at that.
“Well, maybe if you tried to be nice to people in general it would be easier to be nice to her, don’t you think?”
“You’re probably right. Look, I know I don’t deserve her, she’s way out of my league. But if she gives me one chance I’ll do anything for her, I’ll do whatever it takes to be deserving of her.”
Laura swallowed the lump in her throat. She had never imagined that Carmilla could be like this. That she could feel so much. She had always admired the woman’s beauty, but combine that with this newly discovered depth of feelings and Laura might have fallen for Carmilla herself if she had ever seen this side of the woman before. Carmilla’s voice snapped her out of thought.
“So, do you think you can help me? How should I let her know how I feel?”
“Are you going to see her soon?”
“Yes.”
“Then you should try to be nice to her, make her wonder about you and you newfound agreeable side. Then you need to talk to her honestly about your feelings. And talk in person, no text message or phone calls. Ask her out for a movie and then dinner, that way you have something to start a conversation with.Try to be open with her and see if you two click.”
“Ok, so, be nice to her, take her to the movies and then dinner. Right. Should I give her flowers, chocolates, something else?”
“Well, if she knows anything about the meanings behind flowers, you could give her a bouquet of red carnations it symbolizes love, pride and admiration without being as cliché as red roses would be.”
“Noted. And how exactly should I tell her how I feel? Should I just blurt it out at some point?”
“No, just…” Laura took a deep breath to calm herself before continuing “... just tell her everything you told me you think about her and she’d have to be an idiot not to give you a chance. She’s very lucky to have someone like you love her that much.”
Carmilla’s eyes sparkled at that, and the smile that took over her face made Laura’s heart beat faster than ever.
“Do you really think so?”, she asked.
“Yes. I mean, I always thought you were a heartless asshole, but turns out I was wrong about you. Anyone that can love someone the way you do can’t be that bad.” Laura answered sincerely.
“Thanks”, said Carmilla quietly. “I should probably go. Thank you for helping me Cupcake, it’s much appreciated.”
“You’re welcome, Carmilla” Laura said with a smile. “Hum, hey, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Do I know her?”
“Yes, you do.” was the only answer she gave before turning around and walking out of Laura’s apartment.
Laura was truly amazed by what had happened and she spent the rest of the day trying to figure out who this girl that Carmilla was in love with could be and feeling a little bit jealous of her.
Two days later, Laura was at LaFontaine and Parry’s house helping them checking if everything was ready for the big wedding ceremony. Carmilla joined them soon after Laura had arrived, bringing pizzas for them. She surprised Laura by hugging her when she put the pizzas on the table.
“Hi Laura! How are you?” She said.
Laura was so stunned by the hug and by her name coming out of Carmilla’s mouth that she could barely mumble a hello. Carmilla just laughed and hugged Perry and Laf too. During the entire night Carmilla was a lot more agreeable in general. Laura thought that she must be practicing for when she had to impress the girl she was interested in. However, Laura would have preferred if she kept being a jerk around her. It had been hard to ignore Carmilla’s physical appeal when she didn’t like her company, but now? Now it was downright impossible not to feel a pull towards her. Laura groaned internally, just when she gets the chance to see this side of Carmilla there was nothing she could do about her attraction.
At the end of the night, Carmilla offered a ride to Laura, which she gladly accepted. They talked and laughed the whole way to her apartment. After thanking Carmilla and saying goodbye, Laura entered her place feeling sad at the lost opportunity. She wished she had had the chance to get to know this new Carmilla before. Accepting her rather sad new feelings for her former roommate she changed for bed. When she was just starting to get comfortable in bed with Netflix opened in her laptop there was a knock at her door.
When she opened the door, Laura could only stare in amazement. Carmilla was standing right in front of her, holding out a bouquet of red carnations with a shy smile on her face. Without stopping to think about what she was doing, Laura pulled Carmilla inside the apartment and kissed her with passion.
One year later, at Perry and Laf’s wedding anniversary party, Carmilla proposed to Laura while they were on the roof of the building stargazing and drinking champagne. Their happiness and love would last for the rest of their lives.