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The gray prison slowly turns into a silhouette until it dissapears from the reach of eye. All sounds dissolve into a quiet hum and every other colour becomes a less agressive shade. The lungs can expand freely again. All familiarity fades for the better…
Chilly wind cruises through the hundreds of tree crowns making it the only noise around together with a lonely vehicle moving forward on the sole road in sight. Two friends in the front seats, each with an opposite body expression. One of them named Ash looked all around him both from the front door glass next to him and the windshield to see what awaits them. He overflew with excitement yet still tried to not contain himself as he felt his steady avalanche of thrill could be bothersome to his companion.
Steven on the other hand kept his silence and lack of reflection. Not clear to Ash if he just needs to focus on driving or it is his usual silence. Steven never spoke too much, but always appeared like he focuses on something that quite isn't here in the touchable world. And when he finally talks it's often stunning… Stunning in the meaning that many felt stunned after hearing it… Like if someone threw a rock at their head with sheer force…
Ash felt the need to finally share this words.
„Man, thanks for taking me on this camping trip! First I didn't want to go but I think I really needed this. I for sure wouldn't go without you.“
He asnwered as if he suddently awakened from a deep dream but still picked what the man next to him means.
„You're welcome...“
Uncertaintly striked Ash as he wasn't sure how to read Steven's emotions. His voice often sounds monotone and his face bleak. Altrough his friend did his best to keep him a good company, he quite got used to it. Perhaps this is simply part of who Steven is and he understood. After all he knew he struggles of having a complete mess inside the cranium.
„You know, I never thought you would be that kind of guy who likes to go outside like this.“
„I just needed to get away...“ He almost silently breathed out.
„I think I get it.“ Ash answered in a low key melancholic tone and then kept silent for the rest of the ride. He sensed that the fellow traveler wants some peace and quiet and this moment.
Some time in the late afternoon the driver spotted a lake with inviting banks around it. The passender noticed a sudden change of moves and his face boomed with cheer.
After some mingling with parking, they exited the car. Steven observed the scene, the pines calmly standing, the water level shining and waving slighly in the weak breeze, the pebbles under his feet crunching a little whenever he moved. He smiled subtly.
„Maybe this really was a good idea...“
His buddy soon followed him with much quicker tempo. He shuffled kind of clumsily and standed next to him.
„Yeah it's awesome isn't it?“
He didn't give the taller one much time to answer or even think about what to say and muttered another sentense.
„Come on we need to set the tent and we have so much to do. I brought some stuff to make this more fun, it's gonna be great.“ He went on as he waddled to the back of the car, opening it and dug around the trunk.
The man with usually blank stare turned around him with a smile. Something about witnessing this bubbly joy in him in particular clicked in the depths of his being. He walked to the same spot to join him on setting together the shelter.
The next hours appeared to last forever in the best sense possible. Like flowers that blossomed after a harsh winter the souls of the two broken ones thrived as they delved into delightful amusement as if they never had to carry any worry. It started as a simple game with a flying disc. Even though has had a issue to thow it far away they really got into it, playfullness overtook them rapidly and after some times they chased each other across the shore while they laughed until they had to catch a breatch. To rest their bodies after such work out they lied by the small round rocks, just few steps away from the splash zone. They shared stories from their lives and other thoughts from their depths. Athrough they knew each other pretty well there happened to be a few ones. Many wouldn't understand how they could relax while telling and hearing them as both shared sort of tragic themes, sentiments or outcomes. Yet somehow for these two it pulled them even closer. Altrough it may not seem at first glance, they have plenty of common. Even then they smiled and laughed together and Ash even played with the stones in front of him when he spoke.
Dawn came and with darkness, cold and hunger arrived as well. They decided to move to the tent to start the fire and eat something. It took some time as neither of them had much experiences with starting a bonfire. It wasn't much but kept them warm during dinner and its flames provided almost magical light. Nothing better than some tasty food, good atmospere and a tiny glass of throat burning liquior to keep the mood cheery.
They sat next to each other, looking in the dancing fire and the sky above them, bits of brightness scattered in the mighty dark. Neither of them said anything, they seemed to enjoy the peaceful ambience. Then Ash's voice quit the quiet.
„Let's go to sleep. It's really cold.“
He vanished into the tent and his friend followed slowly after but not before putting out the fire with a bucket of lake water.
The last thing the stubby one's conciousness registered before drifting away was his friend's husky breath.
It could be perfect, already touching the perfection. A great weekend trip to remember for the rest of their lives and a memory to bond them closer than they ever have been before.
Sadly, perfection may be impossible to achieve…
First there was nothingness of dreamless sleep, then a thick layer of mental fog covered all before it vanished. The blot found out he was left alone in the tent. For a second he didn't think much of it, maybe Steven just needed to stretch his legs or pee. A close friend being going for a while isn't the end of the world right? Altrough it can feel like it… Then he noticed of what likely woke him up, muffled noise made of banging and rattling combined with cries of pain and even yelling. It came from the car.
As soon as he realized it he threw away his blanket and ran to the cause. Once he busted out of the warm nest he saw a scene truelly hard to watch. His mate leaning on the car door. One hand desparately tried to fit keys in the lock, the other one switching between holding to the rear view mirror for stability and bashing on the metal out of frustration. Clearly drunk out of his mind, struggled to even keep himself standing still.
„What are you doing? What the fuck are you doing?!“ He shouted with terror.
He turned around, showing he's even worse state than his companion would assume. His droppy eyes could barely focus, tears splattered on cheeks. And the rest of him didn't read any less messy.
„Let me get out of this torture...“
Seeing this didn't leave Ash calm. He was furious, but not angry at the hurt.
„Dude, you're drunk as shit. You're going to kill yourself!“
„I don't care. I just want to go back to my bedroom.“
At this point Ash didn't just stand at one place and snatched the keys from his weak hands.
„I can't let you drive like this. Just tell me what's wrong.“
Steven attempted to focus on him, he tried his best to articulate his thoughts.
„I think I can't breathe. It's crushing my ribcage from the inside.“
He could breathe at least on the physical plane but extreme anxiety made him feel otherwise.
Fear fueled anger in Ash's voice was replaced with careful concern.
„I don't get it. You were so happy during the day.“
„The day was good, maybe even the best… But the night kept burning...“
„Why?“
„I couldn't stop thinking. It's like I kept talking to myself, and I couldn't shut up. Why he can't shut the fuck up?!“
This hurt Ash more than every bone in his body being broken at the same but he knew he has to keep it together if he wants to help.
„Let's go back to the tent. We can go home when you sober up.“
It appeared as if Steven calmed a little, still showing heavy distress but at least being able to understand well what Ash wants front him. He reached towards him, grabbing his hand and letting his lean over his soft, rather blobby body. Together they returned back to the tent and its familiar warmth.
With some assistance Steven carefully laid on his back. He kept sobbing while he faithfully looked at the one who was just tucking him in a blanket. Still stuck in a maze made of of nerve wrinkles, but seeing a blured light of the exit sign.
„I'm sorry… I just realized you wouldn't get home, if I drive away...“
Ash's gaze flicked as he realized he didn't even think of that before.
„It's not about me. Just don't hurt yourself...“
Steven nodded, then wiped his wet face into his hands. He sensed a soft warm nub on his shoulder. The touch gave off doubt in itself, as it didn't know if it adds any benefit or even worse.
Ash still had some question. He didn't even expect a reasonable answer for, just didn't want to keep it inside of his head.
„I still wonder why day was so different from night for you.“
„When you fell asleep it was just me in this dark tent. I couldn't stop thinking. I couldn't do anything to distract me from it. It was driving me inside. After some time I could only think about returning home. Anything to stop it.“
His expression cleared from confused panic into sorrow washed out by the sudden explosion. His lips ajar as they seeked fresh air, his whole body weak and begging for ease.
„Man… I'm so sorry about it...“
„It's better now… It helps that you talk to me.“
„Of course, I'm here here for you.“
„Thank you...“
Tha last words each of them spoke for a while. Steven's eyes slowly closed. Ash focused on staying awake until the distressed find some rest in dozing off. Altrough slowly, eventuelly even his eyelids would shut and none of them opened to next day's bright noon which finally brough back serenity.