Archive of Our Own

It’s another late night.

Riza Hawkeye is sitting on Roy Mustang’s living room couch, translating a coded letter onto a piece of paper that she knows will be lit ablaze just hours from now. The lamp sat on the end table beside her bathes the living room in a warm glow, casting long shadows over the stacks of documents that clutters the glass coffee table.

“I just ordered takeout from Panda House,” Roy calls out. His head pops through the doorway between the kitchen and the living room so he can look at her with a small smile on his face. Riza opens her mouth to ask if he even remembers her order. Before she can so much as speak, though, Roy continues with- “Don’t worry, lieutenant, I know your order. Even asked for no onions. They said it’ll be here in twenty minutes.”

Riza lets out a quiet sigh, her pen pausing mid-stroke. 

‘He knows my order. Of course he does.'

Every so often, Roy asks Riza to join him at his house so that they can catch up on paperwork, decode urgent letters, or plan for missions. Part of her wants to believe it’s an excuse for them to spend time together, but he’s never said or done anything to suggest that, and she knows better than to assume- especially with a man like Roy Mustang.

“Right,” She responds, and then clears her throat. “Thank you, sir.”

Roy pops back into the kitchen to finish making them a pot of coffee to share while Riza stays on the left side of the living room couch. In front of her is Roy’s glass coffee table, lined with stacks of papers. Most of them are letters from Maes, that of which are in code. Riza’s here tonight to help Roy decode them faster on the off chance that they have some sort of urgent information. 

Roy reappears in the living room after a few minutes with a mug of coffee in each hand. His is in the red cup, loaded with milk and sugar. Hers is in the blue cup, straight black, just how she likes it. He gently pushes her mug into her hands and sits down next to her. There’s one cushion in between them, the only thing keeping them separate. Riza wonders if he wants to close the distance as much as she does- if he wishes the couch were just a little smaller to allow for a brush of their shoulders or a bump of their knees.

Riza doesn’t know how long she’s been in love with Roy. Maybe it’s always been that way. Her feelings for him are just a fact of life that she's never been able to acknowledge aloud. When they were young, she was drowning in keeping up with her father’s care- when they were older, they were in a war- and now- well, now they’re too fucked up for Riza to know how to handle the overgrown mess that is their relationship. Perhaps he returns her feelings. That much is possible, but even if he does, he’s too damn stubborn to say anything- and even if he said anything, a romantic relationship between them would be illegal.

This is exhausting. The warm glow of the lamp Roy has turned on highlights his stupidly sharp, beautiful cheekbones and the different shades of black and brown in his raven hair. He’s wearing a white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows to show off his toned forearms, which she obviously never sees when they're in uniform. The top buttons of the shirt are undone to offer a barely visible patch of his chest, and his collar is crooked.

It feels… Intimate. Far more intimate than what’s appropriate between a colonel and his lieutenant. They’re here, alone in Roy’s home, about to eat takeout together, both of them out of uniform and sitting on his couch in arguably romantic lighting. 

“I appreciate your help,” Roy speaks between sips of his coffee. “Really.”

“It’s my job, sir,” Riza cooly answers as she takes a drink of her own coffee. She sets the cup down on the corner of the table and continues translating Maes’ coded letters. “It’s not a problem.”

“Still. Coming to my house to do extra work isn’t part of your job description and… Well, I appreciate everything you do. I just want you to know that. Honestly, if I were you, I’d be tired of me by now.”

Riza struggles to continue, her ballpoint pen hovering over the page. Her chest tightens as she processes his words. He always manages to say just enough to make her hope for more but never enough to make her believe it’ll actually happen. 

“I’m used to it. I don't mind it, really,” She finally says. “There’s always work to be done.”

When the takeout arrives, they eat together in silence. Riza swears that she feels Roy staring at her, but when she looks at him to meet his gaze, he’s focused on his food. 

It must just be her imagination. It always is.

By the time they finish the last of Maes’ letters, it’s nearing midnight. Roy leans back on the couch and lets out a sigh as he surveys the completed stack of translated letters. 

“Thanks again. I couldn’t have done this without you,” He says, his voice laced with gratitude.

“It’s part of my job,” Riza repeats the words, thinking that if she says them enough, the truth will cease to bother her. 

As she gathers her things and prepares to leave, Roy follows her to the door. 

“Drive safely for me, lieutenant?"

“I always do, sir,” She replies before stepping out into the cool night’s air.

As Riza walks to her car, she feels the weight of the evening- and every other evening like it- settle over her. She’s tired, so incredibly tired of wanting, and loving, and waiting for something that might never come. She doesn’t blame Roy for it, not really. They’ve both seen too much, done too much, to believe they deserve each other, even if he does return her feelings. Still, the ache of her affection is there, deep and unrelenting.

When she slides into the driver’s seat, she grips the steering wheel tightly, staring out at the darkened street. 

This can't go on forever.

Tomorrow, she decides, will be different. It has to be.

Jean Havoc has come to the conclusion that his job is becoming exhausting. Not because of the job itself, but because of the ongoing spectacle of Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye mutually pining over one another. 

At first, it was kind of endearing. Now, it’s just painful. Watching two people who are so obviously in love refuse to admit it is like enduring a slow, never-ending soap opera.

“They’re exhausting, aren’t they?” Havoc murmurs, his gaze fixed on Roy and Riza through the glass window of the colonel’s office.

Riza stands at Roy’s desk, her expression stoic, while Roy- clearly smitten- stares at her with a dopey smile because he knows she's not looking.

Breda, Fuery, and Falman stand beside Havoc, all watching the scene unfold. Their lunch break has just ended, and while Havoc was about to return to the office to work, he is now too distracted by the mushy scene in front of him to do so.

Interrupting feels wrong, anyway. What’s going on in there is… Intimate. Really, they shouldn’t even be seeing it, but Roy and Riza are too enraptured in each other to notice their four subordinates' eyes on them through the door. 

“Yeah, it’s painful to watch, that's for sure,” Breda answers while placing a hand on his hip. 

“Maybe they’re dating and keeping it a secret,” Falman weighs in, and though Havoc would like to think that’s true, he knows that it’s not. “It’s none of our business. Let's go in.”

Havoc has had enough crushes to know when other people are experiencing it. What Hawkeye and Mustang have is not an actual relationship or anything close to one; it’s... Mutual pining and unresolved romantic tension that makes it hard for him to breathe when he's in same room as both of them at the same time, which is often. 

“They’re not,” Havoc takes a cigarette out of the pack in his front pocket, puts it between his lips, and lights it. “Trust me, I can tell.”

“How do you know for sure?” Fuery asks. 

“It’s the way he looks at her when they do this thing of theirs,” He explains. “Like she’s something he can’t have. And when he’s not paying attention to her, she looks at him the same way. They're both too scared of how the other will respond, so neither of them say anything. It's actually pretty simple.”

“God, you’re presumptuous,” Breda cringes. “So what, who cares? They have a mutual crush. Fraternization laws are probably all that’s keeping them apart. They’re too smart to go for it.”

“I don’t know… They do a lot for us, wouldn’t it be nice to see them happy together?” Fuery interjects. “Even if it’s not technically allowed, it's not like any of us would ever say anything…”

“Exactly. Just because none of us are in successful relationships doesn’t mean that they can’t be,” Havoc answers. “It’s not like they’re unfamiliar with keeping secrets from the government by now.”

“Well, sure, but what they do in private really isn’t our business,” Falman sighs and crosses his arms as if he’s in deep thought. “There’s not much we can do to help them if they won’t communicate on their own, is there?”

At that, Havoc smirks.

“Maybe there is something we can do. Chief does seem like the jealous type, doesn’t he?”

The next day practically flies by for Riza. Normally, she might be irritated by the mountain of paperwork she showed up to, but today, she’s grateful for it. The constant stream of things to do keeps her hands and mind too occupied to linger on the night she spent with Roy Mustang and the emotions that have resurfaced from it.

After her team’s lunch break, where she finds all of them waiting outside the office door to come back in, she slips past them and into the staff lounge to refill her water bottle. To her relief, the room is empty. Solitude is rare here at Eastern Command, and she’s grateful for the fact that she won’t have to force small talk with someone she doesn’t particularly care for. 

If she's being honest, most people at Eastern Command fall into the category of 'someone she doesn't particularly care for'.

She moves to the cooler and fills her bottle, the soft trickle of water and the clicking from the analogue clock on the wall being the only sounds in the room. But as she’s screwing the lid back on, the door creaks open behind her. She tenses and braces herself to make polite conversation, maybe something about how chilly the weather's been or about how much work Roy has been dumping on her. Turning, she sees Jean Havoc step inside, his familiar grin already in place.

A sigh of relief falls from between her lips at the sight of him despite the nasty scent that comes from the cigarette held in his mouth.

“Second Lieutenant Havoc,” She greets with a faint nod, turning back to the cooler.

“Hey, Hawkeye,” He says as he makes a beeline for the cabinet near the water cooler. 

He retrieves a box of donuts Fuery had brought in earlier that morning, placing three of the frosted pastries onto a paper plate without addressing her. She tries to head past him for the door, eager to return to her desk before anyone else comes in.

Havoc’s voice stops her mid step.

“Hawkeye, wait,” He says. There’s a note of urgency in his tone that makes her pause. She turns, raising an eyebrow at him. “We should go out on a date tonight. Just the two of us.”

Riza blinks. Of all the things she expected him to say, that wasn’t even in the realm of possibility. Though Havoc has had a perpetual string of failed dates, Riza was under the impression that he did not want her to be one of them.

“Excuse me?” She asks, unsure if she heard him right.

Maybe staying up with the colonel to work is having some negative effects on her brain… 

“As friends,” He quickly clarifies, thank god. “I, uh, I know I'm not your type, and with the fraternization laws... Yeah. I just figured that you're always working so hard, and it doesn’t seem like you get a chance to go out much, and I do like you! ...As a friend, like I said."

Riza isn’t sure whether to be flattered by his thoughtfulness or annoyed that he’s apparently taken notice of her lack of a social life. Part of her suspects that he’s up to something if the way he won’t look her in the eye is anything to go by, but… What could he possibly be up to that involves a friendly date?

“Oh,” Riza says. 

It’s not the first time someone at work has invited her to dinner, but those invitations always seemed romantic, and she always turned them down. This, however, feels different. Not bad, per se, just different.

“We could both dress up,” Havoc suggests with an enthusiastic grin. He takes his cigarette out of his mouth with his spare hand and burns it out in a nearby ashtray. “Go to that steakhouse on Main Street. You know, the fancy one. We’ll order some expensive wine, maybe even dessert if we’re feeling frisky. It’ll be great!”

For a moment, Riza allows herself to imagine it; sitting in nice lighting, drinking something that isn’t plain water or coffee, and the rare luxury of an evening that isn’t tied to training or obligation or Roy. She’s driven past that restaurant countless times on her way home from Roy’s place, always wondering what it would be like to step inside with him but knowing- or, thinking- that no one would ever take her. 

Alas, the reality of her life quickly sets in. Dinners like that aren’t cheap, and she lives frugally.

“As much as I appreciate the invitation, I can’t justify spending that kind of money so last minute on-”

“It’s my treat,” Havoc interjects before Riza can even finish the thought. "Now you don't have any excuses. What do you say?"

Riza hesitates. There’s something disarming about Havoc, something that makes it difficult to say no to him, just like the rest of Team Mustang. She has a good feeling about this. 

“Very well, then. What time should we meet at the restaurant?”

“How about six?” Havoc suggests.

“Six it is,” Riza agrees and turns to the door once again. “Now, let’s get back to work. The last thing I want is to cancel our plans because I’m picking up your unfinished assignments.”

Havoc chuckles, trailing behind her as they leave the staff lounge. 

“I’ll make sure my desk is spotless, Hawkeye. Wouldn’t want to ruin our big night.”

As they part ways, Riza can’t help but smile to herself. She doesn’t know if tonight will be as ‘great’ as Havoc insists, but at this rate, anything is better than spending another evening the way she did last night- and, just like she was then, she's determined to make sure that today will be different. 

It has to be. 

Later that day, Riza is left behind in the office with Roy. It’s quiet and dull, with Roy sitting at his desk pretending to do paperwork, and Riza actually doing paperwork. He seems distracted. She’s not sure why and knows better than to ask.

The others, as per usual, filtered out a few minutes ago.

“I need you to carpool home with me,” Roy says, breaking the silence. “I’ve got a mission report from the Elrics that I need help deciphering. They’ve gone and turned another town on its head. If what Fullmetal has written is to be believed, I’ll need your help cleaning up after him… Again.”

Riza pauses, her hands gripping the report held within them a little tighter. He always assumes she’s free, as if her life exists only to orbit his whims. As annoying as it is, she can’t deny there’s some truth to it- most nights, anyway. When she agreed to watch his back, she agreed to devote her life to helping him always. Yet, she can’t help but feel… Frustrated. Greedy. She wants more than he’s willing to give and she’s tired of it. It’s more her fault than his, for getting her hopes up in the first place without ever communicating, but she’s getting tired of spending all of her time and energy silently chasing after him.

Tonight is going to be different. Tonight, she’s going to do something different; go out, eat a wonderful dinner, spend time with her friend (if she can really call Havoc that), and leave Roy and any thoughts of him behind in this sad, dusty office. 

“Unless that’s a direct order, I’m afraid I won’t be able to join you, sir.”

The words are barely out of Riza's mouth before guilt tugs at her chest. She’s not used to telling him no. She only has a few friends- Team Mustang, Rebecca Catalina, and her dog. She doesn’t date because of her marred back. She doesn’t have any hobbies that don’t revolve around work or Black Hayate. Most of the time, it doesn’t feel like she deserves to do anything for herself, so she easily goes along with Roy’s requests to see her after hours to work on god knows what. 

Roy looks up from his desk. 

“Really? You can’t?” He leans back in his chair, studying Riza as if her refusal is some kind of puzzle he can’t solve. “That's unusual. Why not?”

Riza straightens the crooked books on the nearby shelf to make herself seem busy. Her mind races. She's glad that he cares enough to ask, yet stressed out about the fact that he has. A part of her wants to lie, to avoid the truth entirely. But then again, what’s the harm in what she’s doing? Roy doesn’t meddle in her personal life- at least not publicly- and a small, spiteful corner of Riza’s mind wonders if maybe, just maybe, the truth will give him the wrong idea… If it’ll make him jealous. Even just a little.

“Havoc and I have dinner plans at six,” She explains while moving on to pick up a tiny piece of trash- anything to keep from having to look Roy in the eye while she does this. “Perhaps this could wait until tomorrow? I'd be happy to help you then.”

For a moment, there’s silence- thick, loaded silence. When Riza finally dares to look at Roy from her peripheral, his eyebrow is raised.

“You’re going out to dinner,” He repeats, as if the concept is completely foreign to him. “With Havoc.”

“Yes, sir,” Riza answers. "I am."

Roy leans forward, resting his elbows on the desk. His voice shifts- quieter, now, and full of a baffled sort of disbelief that offends Riza on Havoc’s behalf.

“Alone?”

The question hangs in the air between them. Awkward, silent. Almost as if he doesn’t believe it at all- as if it’s some sort of fucked up joke she’s playing- as if he expects her to say ‘gotcha!’ and for them both to laugh at the punchline. Of course, that moment never comes. Because it's real. She's going to dinner. With Havoc. Alone. And she's happy about it. 

“Yes. Alone.”

“As in, no one else will be there? No Fuery, no Breda, no Falman? Not even Catalina?”

“Precisely, sir.”

Roy tilts his head slightly, his dark eyes narrowing just enough to suggest he’s trying to decide whether or not he believes her- because, apparently, her going to dinner alone with Havoc is just that ridiculous of a concept to him. 

“Alright, then,” He says after a moment, though his voice doesn’t portray any of the nonchalance he’s clearly aiming for. “Tomorrow. We can go over the report first thing tomorrow morning.”

“That works for me,” Riza says, but she can feel the tension between them. Her gaze flickers to the clock. Her shift ended minutes ago. Thank God. “I should go, if that’s alright with you, sir. I need to get ready.”

Roy nods. His eyes still haven’t left her face. 

“Drive safely for me, lieutenant.”

“Yes, sir.” 

She pauses, momentarily. There’s something unspoken in his gaze, something that lingers even as she steps toward the door. He’s still looking at her- she can feel it. His eyes pierce through her, enough so that Riza wonders if he already knows part of the reason she’s telling him any of this is to make him jealous. But he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t object, nor does he question her any further. It’s not his place to do so. They both know that. So, Riza leaves, her steel-toed boots clicking against the polished floors of Eastern Headquarters as she does. 

With every step that she takes through the hallway, she grows heavier with a mixture of regret and anger that pools in her stomach like tar. She shouldn’t have told him. She should’ve just gone on the dinner date with Havoc and returned to work the next morning like nothing had happened. Instead, she’s gone and made it convoluted by making Roy think that her and Havoc are going on an actual date…

Outside, the cold air bites at Riza cheeks, but it does little to quell the heat rising in her chest. As she walks toward her car, she finds herself glancing back, half-hoping, half-dreading that Roy might come after her.

He doesn’t.

Rebecca comes to do Riza’s makeup for her despite the short notice. Riza has never been very good at doing it by herself, as independent as she is, it's just not something she has a lot of practice in. So, she sits on her living room couch with Rebecca across from her, smearing a pale, cool cream on her face with a teardrop-shaped sponge. 

It’s almost six o’clock. Riza is both grateful that Rebecca lives nearby and grateful that instead of laughing or making fun of her, she happily agreed to Riza's request and drove straight over upon receiving the last minute phone call.

“I didn’t know you were into Havoc,” Rebecca starts as she finishes blending whatever is on Riza's face before putting the bottle and the sponge away. She puts on blush next, and then grabs a tube of lipstick. It’s a deep, dark, unnatural sparkly red that Riza wouldn’t normally choose for herself, but Rebecca insisted it would complement the dark green dress she did choose. “Can’t believe I’ve known you for this long and never figured it out. To be honest, I thought you were still into that colonel of yours. You've always had horrible taste in men."

“I’m not into Havoc, and this isn’t a date,” Riza clarifies, and then puckers her lips so that Rebecca can put the lipstick on. 

She doesn’t bother addressing the accusation regarding Roy, because truth be told, she is still very much into the colonel. 

“Right, because a handsome man offering to take you out to the nicest restaurant in town with just the two of you doesn’t seem like a date at all.”

“I know, I know,” Riza replies, a bit flustered. Rebecca is right- if Havoc hadn’t stated his intentions, Riza would have assumed the same thing. She did assume the same thing. Guilt gnaws at her when she remembers that she probably led Roy to believe it was a date as well. “But he told me it wasn’t a date, just a friendly outing. If anything… He’s probably taking me out so I’ll put in a good word to you.”

“That wouldn’t surprise me,” Rebecca sighs and puts the lip makeup away in favor of a light brown pencil that she aggressively drags across Riza’s eyebrows. “So, what does your colonel think of this ‘not date’, then? Or did you not tell him because you knew he wouldn’t like it?”

“This doesn’t have anything to do with him,” Riza argues. She shuts her eyes so that Rebecca can put on eyeliner, dark green eyeshadow, and mascara without her ruining it by flinching. “And to be honest… I don’t know what he thinks. I didn’t tell him the details, just that Havoc and I were going out alone to dinner tonight.”

“Trying to make him jealous, huh? Smart!”

"It doesn’t matter what I'm trying to do,” Riza sighs. “Whatever I feel, whatever he feels, none of it matters. He acted confused when I told him, like he was surprised, but… He made no attempt to stop me. If he was jealous, it wasn't jealous enough for him to act like he gives a damn, so what does it matter?"

“Don’t get all pessimistic before you've even been rejected,” Rebecca lightly scolds while applying some setting spray to keep the makeup in place. “You're not acting like the Riza that I know. The Riza that I know would be smart enough to see how he looks at you. Even though he is an annoying bastard, if he makes you happy, you should put your best foot forward and make a move, see what happens. Why don’t you just say something?”

“Even if he returns my feelings, it would be stupid for us to be in a relationship. The fraternization laws exist for a reason.”

“Riza, life is too short to keep everything bottled up the way you two do. One of these days, you'll get tired of waiting for him to make the first move.”

“What if I already am?” Riza frowns. Rebecca blinks and stares at Riza with shock lacing her expression. It’s clear that she doesn’t know what to say, but Riza doesn’t expect her to know how to fix this when she herself has no idea. “...Never mind. Thank you for coming to do this on such short notice. I should finish getting ready and get out of here before I end up being late.”

“Yeah, any time. I’ll head back to my place, then,” Rebecca stands up and packs the makeup away before heading to the front door. She opens the door, turning back to look at Riza. “And Riza?”

“Yes?”

“You’re too good for either of them, anyway. If things don’t work out the way you want them to, we can go on a date soon, yeah?"

“Thanks,” She chuckles. It's obviously a light-hearted joke meant to make her feel better, and it almost does. “I may have to take you up on that.”

“Have fun- but not too much fun- okay?”

“I’ll try my best.”

With that, Rebecca exits the apartment, leaving Riza to give herself a once over in the mirror. 

What an unusual day… At the very least, it is different like she wanted. 

The cold wind blows Riza’s perfectly done hair out of place as she steps out of her car and adjusts the front of her dress. She rarely wears anything that’s not her military uniform or a t-shirt with cargo pants, but tonight is an exception that she’s still not entirely sure about. 

Across the parking lot and a few feet away from the front door of the restaurant, Jean Havoc waits, leaning back against the brick wall. He’s dressed in a neatly pressed suit with a dark blue tie and has a cigarette tucked behind one ear. When Riza approaches him, he grins in that endearing way that made her agree to this in the first place.

"Looking sharp,” He compliments easily, to which Riza smiles.

“I could say the same to you.”

“Well, I’m just glad we could hang out and do something nice for once,” He says before walking towards the door and holding it open for her. “Shall we?”

Riza nods, walking past Havoc and into the restaurant. He follows close behind. Inside, the warm, muted lighting casts a soft glow over the polished wood and white tablecloths. There's classical music being played by an actual band in the corner. Everyone who's here looks genuinely happy- families enjoying a meal together, couples on romantic dates, friends chatting about their lives. It feels a world away from the stark, utilitarian atmosphere of the building that they spend their days working at.

The hostess escorts them to a small table near the window. Havoc pulls out a chair for her, and though Riza rolls her eyes at the chivalrous and unneeded gesture, she takes the seat.

“This is definitely… Different,” She says, glancing around the elegant dining room.

She feels somewhat uncomfortable at a place like this, wondering if the knee-length satin dress she wore is appropriate, if her hair still looks decent despite the wind outside, if her makeup is smudged. Riza isn’t normally one to care about such superficial things, but she also isn’t normally at the nicest restaurant in town. Having grown up with very little money and joining the military as soon as she was old enough to enlist, she never got to experience things like this. To this day, she’s unsure of the proper etiquette, of the dress code, of whether or not she should even exist in a restaurant like this one. 

“Different’s the point,” Havoc replies, dropping into the chair across from her. If he can sense Riza’s unease, he’s kind enough not to mention it. “No paperwork, no mission reports, no Colonel Mustang. Just good food and good company.”

The mention of Roy makes Riza circle back to the colonel, as much as she wanted to avoid thinking about her predicament during her and Havoc’s dinner. She doesn’t know what he’s doing right now. Maybe he’s sitting peacefully at his home, working without her, already over her refusal to spend the night going over mission reports with him. Maybe he’s lamenting the fact that Riza is out with Havoc right now instead of in with him. Riza doesn’t know. Roy is a whirlwind of emotions and confusion and unpredictable chaos that she doesn't care to analyze in the middle of the nicest restaurant in East City. 

When the waiter arrives, Havoc orders an entire bottle of red wine for their table without hesitation. 

“I hope that wasn’t too expensive,” Riza halfheartedly scolds as she stares down at the menus on the table.

All of the bottles of wine are on the pricier side, but some are worse than others. 

"Don’t worry about that,” Havoc dismisses her with a wave of his hand. “Tonight’s on me, all of it. I've been helping my parents at their store during the weekends, so I've got a lot of extra cash right now.”

Riza doubts it's enough 'extra cash' to afford a dinner like this, but she decides that she won't waste her time arguing with him. 

As they wait for their drinks, Havoc begins recounting a string of his most recent dates, which were all either horrible on their own or ruined by the girls inevitably refusing a second date. By the time he gets to a much older story where he spilled chardonnay on his poor date's dress, Riza finds herself struggling to contain genuine laughter.

“And then,” He says with a dramatic wave of his arm. “I tried to save it by saying, ‘at least it’s only chardonnay- it’s less noticeable’ , as if she didn’t reek like a winery and have a fat glob of green snot on her sleeve from me using my napkin to try to wipe her off. You can imagine how well that went. Hell, I was so embarrassed that I asked to get transferred to East City just so I’d never have to see her again, and that’s how I ended up meeting you guys!"

Riza chuckles, shaking her head. 

“And I thought the colonel had bad luck with love,” She wistfully sighs, thinking back to the string of dates that Roy has been on over the years.

Most of them have only been for intel, but she suspects that some of them have been genuine attempts for him to find love that have never worked out. He doesn’t talk about them. All Riza knows is that he’s never been on a date with the same girl twice.

Almost as if on cue, she sees the hostess walk two people past their table. One, a tall, beautiful woman with short blond hair similar to Riza’s and dark eyes. They actually look quite alike, the main difference being that the woman is wearing a backless dress, something Riza wouldn’t ever dream of. The skin on the other woman's back is blank and unblemished, a beautiful canvas framed by ruby red chiffon. 

The other person, Riza immediately recognizes even though she only sees the back of him as he walks by. Raven hair, broad shoulders, a familiar black coat and white scarf, and the waft of his cologne are enough to give Roy Mustang away. He looks over his shoulder, gazing at Riza and Havoc momentarily.

His eyes widen when he sees them.

He quickly looks away.

Roy and the woman are sat at their table by the hostess, across the restaurant from Riza and Havoc but not completely out of sight. Roy looks totally miserable. Riza isn’t sure if that makes her feel better or worse. Did he figure out that this is where Havoc had planned to take her and show up to disturb their dinner? Or is this a horrible coincidence? Frankly, Riza has no idea which she'd rather it be. How the hell did he even land a date this short notice when, just hours ago, he was trying to get Riza to spend the night with him doing handling a mission report from the Elrics of all things?

Ugh! Riza wishes she could hit him. Or shoot him... Or kiss him, or maybe some combination of the three. 

Havoc shamelessly looks behind him to see what’s captured Riza’s attention, his smile falling when he sees Colonel Mustang and his gorgeous date. Riza isn’t sure if this date is for intel, for Roy's stupid jealousy, or if it’s… An actual date. No matter what it is, she doesn’t like it. The shock and disappointment is so potent that she can’t mask it, even when Havoc looks over at her. 

“You shouldn’t worry, y’know,” Havoc shrugs. Riza is curious about whether or not he’s picked up on what’s going on between her and Roy. He answers that question with his next statement. “The guy may be a bit of a bullheaded idiot, but he’s only got eyes for you. Any other guy would be thrilled to be on a date with that gorgeous girl, but chief over there looks like he’s seconds away from snapping his fingers to set himself on fire just to get out of it."

Riza doesn’t know how to respond, but the words from Havoc are comforting enough that she’s able to will her gaze away from Roy and the mysterious woman he’s with- at least for now. 

When their wine arrives, Havoc pours them both a glass. Then, he lifts his from the table in the form of a toast. 

“To escaping work, even if it’s just for one night! Maybe if we get drunk enough, we’ll have a good excuse to ditch come tomorrow morning,” He snickers.

Riza lifts her glass and clinks it lightly against his.

“To that.”

Their meals arrive shortly after. The conversation turns into silence as they both dig into their food, both of them clearly starving from a day’s work with nothing but coffee, water, and Fuery’s morning donuts to sustain them. Riza does everything she can to avoid looking back at Roy, even when she swears she feels his charcoal eyes burning a hole through Havoc's back and into her. 

By the time their plates are cleared, Riza feels something she hasn’t felt in weeks; at ease, somehow. There’s no weight pressing down on her shoulders, no lingering thoughts of work or the war or Roy to distract her from the present moment. She hadn’t realized just how much she needed something like this. She wishes she spent time with her friends more often. Seeing both Rebecca and Havoc today has lifted her spirits more than she could've known, and she's glad that she gave Havoc an honest chance despite her initial hesitation. 

The waiter returns, asking if they’d like dessert. Havoc immediately looks to Riza with a raised eyebrow. 

“What do you think? Need some cheesecake in your life? How about a creme brulee?”

She shakes her head. 

“I think I’ve had enough for one night.”

“Well, that just means we’ll have to come back again the next time one of us gets a fat paycheck or something,” Havoc grins as he flags the waiter down for the check. He grabs it before Riza can even think of protesting against him doing so. “Don’t even try. I told you, everything's on me tonight. You deserve to be treated every once in a while with how much you do for all of us!"

“I don’t usually let people pay for me,” Riza mutters in slight discomfort, and it’s true. Even when the colonel orders them takeout, she always pays him back for it. “Next time, it’ll be me covering the tab. Understood, Havoc?”

He shrugs with a massive grin on his face. 

“If you insist."

Havoc quickly pays the tab, leaves a tip, and pushes all of the remaining dishes to the side of the table so that the waiter can grab them with ease. The two of them walk out of the restaurant, side by side, only stopping when they reach the parking lot. 

“Thanks for tonight, Havoc... I wish I had evenings like this more often.”

"You deserve more of them. You're a good friend, and a good teammate,” Havoc replies. He takes the cigarette from behind his ear, lights it, and places it between his lips. Smoke quickly billows into the cool night’s air. “And if you ever need another night like this, you know where to find me.”

Riza nods. She doesn't know how to respond to the sincere compliments; to affection being so easily given to her with no subtlety or professionalism in sight. It's so rare and new that it startles her, and yet... She likes it more than she ever thought she would.

“I might take you up on that," She murmurs. 

Havoc nudges her shoulder and shoots a wink in her direction.

“You better.”

With that, Riza returns to her car and starts the drive home. Again, even with fuzzy thoughts of her blooming friendship with Havoc, she half-dreads, half-hopes that Roy will follow her out.

Once again, he does no such thing. 

Riza goes into work early the next day. Though she enjoyed her evening with Havoc, by the time that she returned home and got into bed for the night, Roy was back on her mind. She found herself wondering how the rest of his miserable-looking date had gone, if he’d have rather been in his living room with Riza eating Panda House and looking over mission reports, if he went home with the woman regardless of the fact that he looked suicidal whilst sitting at that dinner table. 

Guilt and anxiety well up in her chest as she enters his office. 

The blinds and curtains are pulled shut, shielding what Roy is doing from the outside world. With no light pouring into the small room, it’s mostly dark save the small, flickering glow that comes from the lamp on the corner of Roy’s desk. He’s sat on the edge of it with a stapled stack of papers in one gloved hand. 

Riza shuts the door behind her and approaches him.

“Good morning, sir,” She greets the colonel cordially, standing up straight in front of where he's sat. His eyes stay trained on the paper, and she notices that the bags beneath them appear more prominent than usual. His hair is a mess, too. If it weren't for the fact that he's changed from the outfit he wore to dinner last night, Riza would assume that he simply stayed here after she left to go get ready yesterday evening. “What are you working on?”

“The mission report, remember? You said you'd help me with it today,” He grumbles. “Look over it with me. I may have to have you make some calls to do damage control- those boys have really fucked shit up this time.”

“Of course, sir,” Riza agrees, not unfamiliar with having to work with Roy to fix the results of the Elrics’ antics.

They both stand there, staring at the front page of the report, but it’s clear that neither of them can really focus on it. A minute passes, and then two- long enough that both of them could’ve easily skimmed the first page by now if they were actually paying attention. She checks the clock. It’ll be at least an hour before the rest of their team shows up for their shift. Damn it. Why did she have to come this early, anyway?

The room is so tense that Riza can barely breathe. When she glances over at Roy, he’s staring straight at her, and when she meets his eyes, he doesn’t bother pretending that he wasn’t like he normally would.

“How was your date last night?” Roy suddenly asks, much to Riza’s surprise.

Honestly, she suspected that going out with Havoc and not giving Roy the full picture before doing so might cause a temporary rift between them, but she never suspected that Roy would actually talk about it any more than they had the day prior.

“I don’t know, sir, how was your date?” Riza bites back with a tone that's nothing less than venomous. She thinks back to Roy sitting with that girl who looked just like her, almost as if he was mocking Riza from across the restaurant. “You really seemed like you were enjoying yourself.”

“I sincerely hope you’re joking right now,” Roy scoffs and turns around to toss the mission report onto his desk.

“Not at all, sir,” Riza flatly replies. "Why would I be?"

“Alright, lieutenant, you got back at me for holding you at an arm’s length, and you made me jealous. Very cute. Congratulations,” Roy sarcastically commends her, clapping his gloved hands in the unimpressed way that he would at the military academy graduation that they're forced to attend every year. The agitated, exhaustion-laced gesture pisses Riza off to no end. She can’t believe that, after all these years, he’s finally communicating how he feels, and… It’s like this. “You got what you wanted. Good job.”

“Oh, please. You’re far from right if you think what I wanted was for you to tear into me over something so childish first thing in the morning,” Riza rolls her eyes and steps away from him. “You go through women like Havoc goes through cigarettes and you’re going to throw a tantrum in your office because I went to one dinner with him?”

“You’re more dense than I ever would’ve thought you were if you can’t see the difference between what I do and what you did last night,” Roy pauses after that, unable to meet Riza’s fiery gaze, almost as if he’s reconsidering what he’s about to say. He speaks again, his voice quieter now. “None of those dates, with any of those women, were ever real. But last night, you and Havoc… You… I could tell you enjoyed yourself more than you’ve ever enjoyed spending time with me.”

The softly spoken confession is enough to somewhat quell the anger and resentment that threatens to spill out- at least for long enough for Riza to take a deep breath and re-evaluate the situation. She regrets not telling Roy about Havoc’s intentions in the first place for the sake of avoiding this mess. Briefly, she even finds herself wondering, if she just would've said something at the start... If this would've been easier.

“That’s not true,” Riza sighs. “And Havoc and I… I should’ve told you yesterday, but him and I aren't anything more than friends. It wasn’t a date. It never was.”

“Well, why the hell didn’t you say that earlier?” Roy demands, wide-eyed.

“Forgive me, but I didn’t necessarily expect you to show up at the restaurant him and I went to like some sort of stalker.”

“What, like I did it on purpose?” He stammers. His cheeks are red with what Riza assumes is embarrassment and frustration. “It was a total coincidence!”

“Yesterday when we talked, you didn’t have any plans and wanted me to come to your home to help you with a mission report. Then, when I have a dinner scheduled with Havoc, you miraculously have a date that you just so happen to show up with at the very restaurant that Havoc and I were eating at? Do you really expect me to believe that?”

“If you must know, after you left here yesterday, I was trying to follow you out to stop you from going,” The admission makes Riza’s heart skip a beat. “But she stopped me as I was on my way out and asked me out on a date. She’s Fuhrer Bradley’s new secretary and I thought I could get some useful intel from her. Her family owns the restaurant and she said that's where she wanted to go, so that’s where we went. I figured if I was going to be using her for information, the least I could do was make sure that she enjoyed her food. I don't know if this is going to make you even more mad at me or if you'll get some sort of satisfaction out of it, but she didn't know anything. I mean, she was nice and all, but..."

Roy doesn't have to finish for Riza to know what he means. The woman he was out with last night has no idea about King Bradley's long history of unjust wars and corrupt politics, and she didn't have a sliver of useful information for Roy to collect.

“You could’ve at least had the decency to look like you were having a good time... Poor girl."

“You proved your point, alright?” 

“Prove a point? Is that what you think this is?” Riza demands, raising her voice without realizing it.

“What else could it possibly be? You had to have done that to fuck with me, right?”

“Are we really going to talk about this? After all the time we’ve spent avoiding it, me going out with Havoc is what finally gets you to talk?”

“You never said anything, so you can’t act like-”

“As if it was my job and my job alone to be the one to say something about- about whatever this is?” Riza angrily paces around the office now, her steel-toed boots clomping heavily against the hard floors. Roy just stares at her, listening. “You clearly knew how I felt- you could’ve said something, too.”

“Do you think I enjoy this? This- this thing that’s been festering between us for God knows how long? Do you think I enjoy only being able to spend time with you when we’re here or at my house under the ruse of it being about work?” Roy stomps up to her and places a hand on her shoulder, effectively turning her around to make her face him. Upon seeing the tears welling up in his charcoal eyes, Riza softens. She wants to reach out to him, to pull him into the hug that they both so desperately need, but she hesitates. “I want a normal life with you, Riza. I want to do the things that normal people do, to be able to take you out like Havoc did last night. Do you know how terrifying that is?”

“Of course I do,” She answers, exasperated. “Being in love with you after everything we’ve been through is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever done!”

“You love me,” Roy says the words like he’s just had the breath knocked out of his lungs. “I love you, and you really love me back after everything?”

“Yes. I love you,” Riza confirms with a slight nod. “I’m in love with you.”

Before she can say anything else, Roy wraps his arms around her body. She melts into him, burying her face in his shoulder and letting out a shaky sigh of relief. All these years, everything they’ve done, have all been building up to this and it’s finally happening. 

After a few moments, Riza breaks away, afraid that someone will walk in and see their embrace. 

"Go on a date with me tonight, Riza,” Roy catches one of Riza’s hands within his own, holding it tight. His gloved thumb gently traces nervous shapes into the center of her palm. “No meeting up at my place in secret, no shitty Panda House takeout, no paperwork. Just a nice, normal date. It’s all I’ve ever wanted from you.”

Riza swallows, her heart fluttering in her chest. This scenario is one she’s fantasized about an embarrassing number of times, but she never thought it would actually happen. Now that it is, she finds herself dumbfounded.

“What if-” She cuts herself off and looks to the side to avoid Roy’s puppy dog eyes. “What if someone sees us? Your position is fragile. If someone sees us and says something-”

“We can go somewhere private and if anyone asks, it's for a mission or something. I’m done worrying about that shit- just look where it’s gotten us. So much wasted time.”

“Okay, then… How about a picnic at that lake a few miles south of here?” Riza proposes. “I walk Black Hayate there all the time. It’s usually pretty barren. If we go late enough, we should be able to avoid being spotted.”

At that, Roy smiles.

“I’ll stop by the store after our shift and get some groceries to pack a basket. Pick you up at eight?”

Riza nods.

“I’ll see you then.”

A week later, Jean Havoc leans against the window of Roy Mustang’s office, looking in through the glass. His friends, Fuery, Falman, and Breda are by his side, watching along with him. 

“Hey, is it just me or is something… Different between them?” Fuery nervously asks while watching the scene that takes place within the confines of the office. “Do you think they’re okay?”

Havoc takes a long drag from his cigarette with a smirk taking over his face. Roy and Riza are there, with Roy sitting at his desk and Riza standing by his side. Instead of sneaking glances at each other when they think the other isn’t looking like they were just a week ago, they’re chatting happily about God knows what, practically beaming at one another.

“You know, I swore something was off, but I thought I was just being paranoid,” Falman weighs in. “I’m glad someone else said something.”

“Yeah, I knew things were off when Colonel Mustang didn’t tear me a new asshole for spilling my coffee on his coat this morning,” Breda makes the observation with a somewhat uncomfortable expression as he places his hands on his hips and furrows his brow. Roy and Riza appear to be in their own little world, seemingly unaware of their subordinates gawking at them, but it's different now. “What do you think is wrong with him?”

“You know what I think?” Havoc starts. “I think my plan to get them together actually worked!”

“Your plan?” Falman questions, looking a little scared. “What do you mean ‘your plan’? Havoc, what did you do to them!?”

"Well, it’s sort of a long story..."