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“It’s hot as fucking hell in here, man,” Thanos mumbles, wiping sweat off of his forehead with the sleeve of his tracksuit. The whole dormitory was at least 100 degrees currently, and the sinks were all broken, due to some kind of plumbing issue- so the bathrooms were closed until further notice, and they couldn’t even use the running tap water to cool down.
“Is this the next game? Survive a fucking heat stroke?” Nam-gyu tries to joke but in the state of exhaustion he’s in, it just comes out as a sort of whine. Thanos attempts to crack a smile, but his body is so overwhelmed by the heat it’s all he can focus on.
“I can go see if I can get us some more water, though I doubt it,” Se-mi supplies, standing up from her place on the black stairs and beckoning Min-su to follow. Nam-gyu thinks about mumbling something along the lines of ‘finally she fucking decides to be useful’, but he bites his tongue. The pair both stand up from their usual place and go over to the pink soldiers who were still handing out dinners.
About a few minutes later Se-mi and Min-su come back empty handed, unsurprisingly, which Nam-gyu gives an unsurprised look at. “They said they had no more water, but the bathroom’s are open for now- just not the sinks,” Min-su quietly tells Thanos, Nam-gyu, and Gyeong-su before sitting back down and going back to eating.
“They’ll probably fix the sinks while we're sleeping or at the next game,” Se-mi adds thoughtfully. Thanos grumbles something and shifts in his spot a little, so he’s splayed out over a few steps.
“Thanos, if you’re so hot, taking off your tracksuit will probably help,” Nam-gyu suggested, taking a bite of his food. Thanos looks around at everyone else in the dorm, who all had their tracksuit jackets discarded on the ground, and the legs of their pants rolled up. He then looked at the four other people in his group, who all were the same way. Thanos looks down at his covered arms and shrugs, placing down his meal.
Slowly, his painted fingers come up to the silver zipper on his teal tracksuit and carelessly unzips it. He peels the sweat covered jacket off of his body and throws it to the ground in front of him.
Thanos looks up to see four pairs of eyes zeroed in on his arms, following their gaze to the thick purple lines scattering up his pale wrists in a stark contrast. He rolls his eyes in a mock-nonchalant attitude.
It’s not like he forgot they were there, he never could, it was just more of a ‘I forgot they didn’t know’. Some of the slashes were healed, but some were extremely new- like as in the day he got recruited to join. He would also definitely be lying if he said that there wouldn't be even newer ones, if he had access to something sharp in the games.
“What?” Thanos exclaims in broken english. His english is slightly battered but well enough for the rest of his small group to understand. Min-su and Gyeong-su are polite enough to divert their gaze immediately, focused back on their meals, but Se-mi and Nam-gyu- not so much.
Suddenly, Nam-gyu grabs Thanos’ thin wrist and holds it tight, “What the hell is this, Thanos?” The yell had definitely attracted some of the nearby people, notably among them was the wacko who tried to convince everyone he had already won these games, and the freak who beat him up for trying to reclaim his money.
Thanos can feel the blood rushing up to his ears as he yanks his wrist away, “Fuck is it to you?” Oddly enough, his eyes began to feel slightly wet- he wasn’t about to cry. No, he was not about to fucking cry. He tosses his meal off of his lap onto the step next to him and quickly stands up, grabbing his hideously bright jacket off of the ground.
He could distantly hear someone call his name, but the sound of his heart beating rapidly in his ears covered it. His feet absentmindedly led him right up to the door going to the bathroom, and he quickly opened the door.
The bathrooms were weirdly empty, a state Thanos had never had the pleasure of seeing. The broken sinks must’ve been driving some people out, since they couldn’t wash their hands after doing their business. Suddenly, Thanos was beyond grateful for that plumbing issue.
He could feel the glossy tears that were pooling at the corner of his eyes begin to freely travel down the curves of his cheek, and then his jawline, and fall off his white shirt. He scrambled to the furthest stall, turning and locking the door as he shrunk against the wall.
His whole frame racked with heavy sobs, as he clutched his battered wrist close to his chest. God, why did he feel like such a pussy. People had found out about his self harm more times then he could count- even walking in on him a few times- so why did he care that some lowlifes who he never would have talked to in any other circumstances did.
Maybe it was because he knew that these would be the last people he saw before he died. Maybe it was because he subconsciously cared about what they thought about him- especially Nam-gyu. Who is he kidding, it’s probably because it's the last people, right?
Abruptly, the door to the bathroom opened and slammed shut, hurried footsteps coming to a halt right outside of his stall.
“Thanos?” A soft voice of uncertaintly whispered.
“Go,” It hadn’t meant to come out as a whine, but his current distressed state and his hoarse voice mixed together did not help.
“Please let me in”.
Weirdly, it worked. Thanos uncurled his body and reached up, fidgeting with the lock of the door and letting it fall open.
Nam-gyu was standing there, fidgeting with his fingers as he looked at thanos. Thanos hadn’t expected Nam-gyu to be looking down at him with an endearing smile, with no disgust or anger on his face like he had expected. Embarrassingly that only made him sob harder.
Nam-gyu lurched forward, kneeling on the ground next to Thanos and wrapping one arm around him while using the other to lock the door. The touch was so warm and comforting, so far from anything he’s felt for the past few days inside of these games- hell, from anything he’s felt in the past few years even.
“You’re okay, Thanos, I'm here,” Nam-gyu whispered in Thanos’ ear, guiding him softly into his arms as they lay there on the dirty ass floor of the bathrooms, Nam-gyu tracing patterns into Thanos’ bony back.
“It’s okay, baby,” Nam-gyu suddenly murmured, quieter than the rest of the sweet words he’d been mumbling for the past 10 minutes. Thanos sat up in his grip, mostly calmed down by now as his sobs transitioned into soft sniffles and hiccups.
“Baby?” Thanos half-laughed, watching as Nam-gyu got struck with realization and his pale face went pink.
“It was- it was just what my-” Thanos cut off the man by clashing their lips together in an intimate, but needy, kiss. It was anything he had ever needed, but something he had never even thought could be possible. It was fast and rough, but slow and comforting, just as Nam-gyu and Thanos were. Pastel pills, soft touches, laughing, spinning ceilings and distorted faces, endearing looks, yelling, cheering. Everything that made them, them.
Thanos pulled back, a beady string of saliva connecting their lips. Nam-gyu beamed, cheeks pink and lips covered in Thanos’ spit. Thanos laughed seeming as he wasn’t in any better shape either: wet, puffy eyes and the same glossy lips to match Nam-gyu's .
Softly, Nam-gyu pulled Thanos’ arm towards his chest. Calloused fingertips tracing each mark, tenderly. He brought each mark up to his pillowy lips, placing a gentle kiss on each one, as Thanos watched with stars in his eyes.
“Why?” Nam-gyu barely whispered after he brought the last scar up to his lips.
“Dunno, I guess,” Thanos answered honestly, “Just, same reason I do drugs I guess, same way you do too probably”.
Nam-gyu hummed, bringing his hands to Thanos’ purple hair, twirling some strands in between his fingers, “We’ve been in here a bit too long, yeah?”