Chapter Text
Warning: Mpreg
Aan Pandey was making his international debut today, in the first test against India at Mumbai. His family was in the stadium to cheer him on - his dad and his three younger siblings. The only person missing was his biggest cheerleader, the reason he took the wicket keeping gloves for the first time, the person who gave birth to him- his baba. He had tried his best to convince his baba to travel with him to India, but he wouldn't budge. The resulting argument had led to some shocking revelations in his life.
Two Months Back
The New Zealand cricket team for the India tour has been announced. The only surprising addition is 18 year old Aan Pandey, who impressed the selectors with his wicket keeping skills and power packed batting in the recent U-19 World Cup. The left-handed batsman is selected specifically for his skills against spin bowlers.
Their household had erupted once the news reached them. The younger ones - 15 yr old twin girls Reva and Rene and the 9 yr old boy Rehaan jumped on their bhaiyya and asked for their treats. "Dad, these guys would have their vacations during my tour. Why don't you all come along to India? I really really want all of you to watch me make my debut", Aan suggested.
"Aan, you know your baba cannot travel to India", his dad said."He can make an exception for his favourite child's most important career moment, right Baba?", he asked. "I can't Aan, it is still so painful. I don't want to go back there", his baba replied.
"That is so unfair baba. All these years you have kept me from traveling to India. Your roots are there baba. Can't you manage a little discomfort for me? This is a pivotal moment in my life- is it too much to ask for my parents to be available for me?", he asked.
"That's enough Aan. Your baba has his reasons- if he deems it important for you to know, you will. For now, stop arguing about it", said his dad."No dad. I won't. It is one of the happiest days of my life and I am asking for one thing on this day- why can't baba grant me this simple wish? I need a reason", Aan was very determined this time. He had enough of his baba making excuses for not traveling to India.
"Rach, don't get angry at him. I will tell him the reason", his baba said."Ish, no. He needs to stop acting like a child", said his dad. After requesting his younger siblings to go inside, his baba said,"No Rach. How long are we going to hide it from him? He is an adult. I think it's time. It might change a lot of things for our family, but that's for him to decide".
"Baba, you are scaring me. What happened to you in India, that you are so adamant about not going back?", Aan asked with concern lacing his voice.
"It was around 19 years ago. I wasn't Ishan Pandey then. I was Ishan Kishan. I used to play cricket for the Indian national team and Mumbai Indians. I had a great life then, baby. Carefree, play boy, joker of the team. I, along with my friend, were the entertainment package of the team. We used to spend a lot of time together and unfortunately for me, I fell in love with my friend".
"I knew he was straight. I was privy to all his escapades with multiple women and so had accepted that he wouldn't return my feelings. He got into a serious relationship during that time. It was a girl that we all knew and we felt that he would finally settle down. One night he came to our room drunk, sobbing and totally lost, as she had broken up with him. He held on to me and cried on my shoulders for an hour. He begged me to help him forget about her".
"I knew it was a stupid thing to do. He wasn't in his senses, but he begged me to sleep with him. It was my only chance to be with him. So we made love. At least I thought we did. But all through it, he kept chanting her name. I should have walked away when I knew that he had mistaken me for his girlfriend, but I selfishly stayed there".
"He woke up and saw what had happened. He accused me of taking advantage of him when he was not in his senses and told me not to show my face in front of him ever. He shifted his room and never talked to me after that".
"We continued playing together but I could see that he did his best not to be in the same room as me. Things turned worse for me when I started falling sick often. I asked for a break from the game and went home. I consulted a doctor in my home town and was shocked to know that I was pregnant. I knew I needed to talk to him".
"I took the next flight to meet him. I reached his home, only to see that he had gotten back with his girlfriend. I heard him telling her that he would stay away from me for the rest of his life and that I was irrelevant to their life. I heard the girl tell him that she would do the needful to make sure that I would stay out of the team".
"I didn't know what to do. I told my brother about my pregnancy and he told me to get it dealt with. I expected at least my family to stand by me, but I was ordered to leave our home when I informed them. My heart broke when bhabhi refused to let me touch my nephew, as though I had suddenly become untouchable for them. In one night's stupidity I had lost everything - my career, my family and my friends", Ishan took a deep breath to stop himself from breaking down. It was almost two decades ago, but the wounds were still raw. Rachin came and held his husband's hands.
"Baba, I don't want to hear more. I am sorry for forcing you to relive the worst moments of your life again. I don't want to believe that dad is not my real father. Let me just continue to live in this fake reality", Aan said. "Aan, baby, you are my son in all ways other than the fact that I didn't contribute to your conception. I was the first person to hold you in my arms, even before Ishan. We weren't even together then, still I knew that you belonged with me. There is a reason we have never had this discussion - it would mean accepting the fact that you have a biological father in another part of the world and you might choose to look for him", Rachin explained to his son.
"Aan, I need you to listen to the rest of my story- not as a punishment, but I need you to be aware of the circumstances of your birth. After my family rejected me, the only option I had was to leave the country. I couldn't be seen with my belly as I had no partner or family to support me. I called up my friend Mayank, who was playing in England at that time. He arranged for me to move in with him, no questions asked. I think he knew who the other father was- Ishu, why did you fall for him of all people- he had asked me the moment he saw me".
"I lived with Mayank throughout my pregnancy. I didn't get out of the house except for my doctor's visits and that too after dark. I had fallen into this routine of waking up crying, surviving the whole day and then crying myself to sleep again. By the end of my 4th month, I was warned that I might end up hurting my child if I continue to be in a state of constant stress".
"Did you meet Daddy during that time?", Aan asked."Daddy? I thought you were too old to call me daddy", teased his dad. Aan rolled his eyes."Yes.It was during that time that Rachin came to England for a county stint. He had just broken up with his long term girlfriend and was looking to have a change of scenery", Ishan said.
"Your baba refused to see me initially. I used to play in the same team as Mayank and used to visit him often for the Indian food he made. I knew someone stayed with him as he never offered me the place to crash for the night. It was by chance that I walked in on Ishan resting on the couch one day. I was shocked to see him there, in that state. I knew Ishan as a competitor- a very jovial guy. It took me two whole months to get him to open up to me", Rachin joined in with his side of the story.
"I was just too ashamed of my situation. I didn't want another set of judgmental eyes on me, but your dad bore me down. By the time I was seven months pregnant, Rachin had become a constant in our household. He slept over some days and even started accompanying me on my night time walks and doctor visits", Ishan said.
"One day I was resting in the dressing room when I heard Mayank's phone ring continuously. It wasn't normal- as you know, all our important contacts know when we are on the field and wouldn't be reachable. I knew instinctively that it was Ishan. I informed my coach and rushed to Ishan, to see him collapsed on the floor. I had never been so scared in my life. He kept telling me to save his baby even if it was at the cost of his life. Though I rushed him to the hospital, they had their own set of procedures to be done before he could be operated upon. I signed his documents as his boyfriend, held his hands while he was being operated on and cut the cord when you came out. He couldn't even raise his head to look at you. So, I took you in my arms and held you to his lips for him to give you your first kiss. We had not discussed being a couple or even being interested in each other romantically, but in that moment I knew that you both belonged with me", said Rachin, holding his husband and son nearer to him.
"Baba, did you marry dad because you had no other option? I don't mean it in a wrong way, but when did you decide that Mr. Rachin Ravindra was good enough to be your child's father?", asked Aan. "I knew within a week of your birth that if I can give a chance to someone, that would be Rachin. He stayed by me through my recovery. He took an emergency leave from his county and took care of me and you for the next two weeks. Even after rejoining, he would be home with us every night. You grew up in his arms in the first month of your life as I was still too weak to handle you alone", Ishan explained.
"I had to come back to New Zealand when you were a couple months old. It physically hurt me to hand you over to Mayank before leaving. Even after coming home and joining the team, I couldn't brush off the feeling that I had left a part of me in England. I finished the tour that I was on and rushed back to England within 3 months. I held you in my arms and the emptiness that I felt the last few months just vanished. I asked Ishan out on a date the very same day", said the curly haired man.
"I was initially very reluctant to commit. I came into the relationship with a lot of baggage- child, a ruined reputation and a lack of career prospects. My sudden disappearance from the cricket scene meant that there were a lot of rumours floating around- that I was ousted for disciplinary reasons, I was involved in a harassment case and that I was jailed in a foreign country. Linking up with my name would only have hurt your dad since he had an IPL contract with CSK and was expected to stay there for the rest of his career. I would always have to stay in the background, not making any public appearances. I tried my best to dissuade him, but he was already too attached to you", said Ishan
"Not just to him, Ish. I am sorry if I didn't make it clear then, but I didn't come back to England for Aan alone. You had me hooked- it was so easy to fall in love with you. I remember rushing to England for a 3 day break in between IPL for your 1st birthday- the whole team had teased me about being whipped for some girl.I realized that I actually loved your baba so much that I needed to ask his hands in marriage or else the cross continent dashing that I was doing would affect my health soon. Imagine realising you are bisexual 6 months back and then trying to come out to your Indian parents about it. To top it, I had to convince them to accept a grand-child along", Rachin shuddered at the thought of those difficult days.
"Us moving in with Rachin also meant that he had to find a home that was a little isolated from the Indian community, but also close to his training facilities. The name change, visa, your passport, along with restarting my cricket training, it was a difficult phase for all of us. Finally, it was on your second birthday that we arrived in New Zealand- we got married in a month, with only his family in attendance", Ishan added
"Wait, you said you started training again when I was a baby. Then why didn't you get back to playing cricket - you were pretty good at it if you played for India, right?", Aan asked his baba."I have your daddy to thank for that. He knocked me up a month into our marriage. With the twins and you to manage and Rach traveling a lot for matches, I decided to be a full time stay at home dad", Ishan answered. "On a serious note, the possibility of me playing at international level again was very bleak. I would have had to apply for an NOC from the Indian board and that would have meant that my carefully guarded secret would be out in the open. So I decided to do what was best for our family", he added.
"Baba, why did you name me Aan? Doesn't it mean pride? I actually brought you shame", Aan asked, looking away from his parents' eyes. "Never ever say that, baby. You were never a shame - you were born out of an act of love. It might not have been so for your other father, but I never regretted becoming pregnant with you. You were born as a proof of my willpower, resilience and wish to succeed against all odds- you were my pride. What else could I have called you other than Aan?",Ishan said, hugging his first born.
"Do I know him, baba?", Aan asked with a bit of hesitation. "Yes you do. A simple internet search on your baba's original name could give you his details. So, if you want to know, we will tell you his name", his dad answered. Aan looked at both of his parents and shook his head,"I don't want to know, baba. If the person comes in front of me some day I might not be able to stop myself from lashing out at him for your pain. Daddy has never made me feel like I don't belong to this family. Now that I know the truth, I can see some obvious differences in my physical appearance. But all my life people have told me how much I resemble dad- I will just believe that I am his son, mentally, emotionally and biologically. You both are the only parents I have known and now you both are the only parents I need. Let's just forget that this discussion happened. I love you, baba and I am grateful to you for fighting for me. I am even more happy that you found daddy for me and gave me such a big, happy family, that I might not have had if things were different. I am sorry that you won't be there for my debut, but now that I understand the reason, I am ok with it", said the 18 year old, with a maturity beyond his age.
"You know what Aan- people say you are like your dad because of your curls. It was a shocker to us, but your hair started to curl when we moved here. It was as though your body changed itself to become the son to your dad. You have a lot of features of your other father- that is the reason I have never allowed you to post our pictures together on social media. But now that you know everything, I won't object to it. While I would like to stay away from the limelight, I don't want you to feel forced to hide me like Rachin had to. If my story comes out as a consequence, then so be it. I can't go home yet, but some day in future if you go back to play in India, I hope I have the courage to visit you and cheer you in the stadium", Ishan told his son.
Aan promised himself that day that he would take his baba home one day and proudly hug him in front of the whole stadium- make them understand that his baba was one of the most courageous persons ever. Let them know that he hadn't abandoned his team, but was forced to leave. He would strive to be the best in his field as a tribute to the sacrifices that his baba had to make- he would make his baba proud and live up to the name that his baba gave him- Aan.