Work Text:
It all started two days after the Hazbin Hotel had been rebuilt, at three am in the morning.
3:24
Charlie Morningstar has created a group chat
Charlie Morningstar has added Vaggie and 5 others to the group chat
Lucifer Morningstar logged on
Lucifer Morningstar: well fuck
Charlie Morningstar: o shit! Ppl werent supposed 2 see this till morning!
Charlie Morningstar: Did the notification sound wake u up?
Lucifer Morningstar: you can't wake someone who was never in slumber
Charlie Morningstar: wut
Lucifer Morningstar: nvr mind
Lucifer Morningstar logged off
Charlie Morningstar: ok ig
Charlie Morningstar logged off
7:14
Angel Dust logged on
Angel Dust: WAKE UP BITCHES!!!!!!!
Husker logged on
Cherri Bomb logged on
Husker: imma fucking lose it.
Charlie Morningstar logged on
Charlie Morningstar: NO SWEARS
Charlie Morningstar: FROM NOW ON
Cherri Bomb: fuck
Cherri Bomb: shit
Cherri Bomb: mother fucker
Vaggie logged on
Cherri Bomb: bullshit
Cherri Bomb: bitch
Vaggie: SHUT UP
Cherri Bomb: i AM shut up
Cherri Bomb: my mouth is shut rn
Vaggie: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT
Charlie Morningstar: just wanted to tell yall im missing breakfast
Vaggie: y
Charlie Morningstar: youll see
Husker logged off
Lucifer Morningstar: how delightfullly vauge
Angel Dust: ikr
Cherri Bomb logged off
Charlie Morningstar logged off
Vaggie logged off
Niffty logged on
Niffty: ILOVESUCKINGDICK
Angel Dust: #relatable
Lucifer Morningstar: noice
Lucifer Morningstar logged off
Angel Dust: OMG KING OF HELL GAY CONFIRMED???
Lucifer Morningstar logged on
Lucifer Morningstar: I NEVER SAID THAT
Niffty: OMGYOURERIGHT
Lucifer Morningstar logged off
Angel Dust: him logging off confirms it
Niffty: VERYLGBTQOFYOUNOTTORESPOND
Angel Dust: pls stop texting like that
Niffty: LIKEWHAT
Angel Dust: nvr mind
Angel Dust logged off
Nifty logged off
9:28
Charlie Morningstar logged on
Charlie Morningstar: guys
Lucifer Morningstar logged on
Angel Dust logged on
Charlie Morningstar: guess wat
Lucifer Morningstar: wat
Angel Dust: i jst did this
Angel Dust changed 7 people's names
The Face of the Campaign changed the name of the group chat to Some Sort of Porno
Vaginal Disapproval logged on
The Cat in the Hat logged on
STAB logged on
Mike Wozowski logged on
Duck: y did u do it
STAB: YOUSUCKEDOUTTHELITTLEJOYTHATWAS
INTHISGC
Princess of Joy: GUYS
Princess of Joy: GUESS
The Face of the Campaign: youve decided, after reading the conversation above, that your father is gay?
Princess of Joy: yes, but thats not wut I meant
Ducky: IM NOT THO?!!???!!!!??
STAB: YESYOUARE
Ducky: im not, but Charlie continue
Mike Wozowski: we support the LGBTQ community here <3
Mike Wozowski: or at least I think we do
Mike Wozowski: it wouldn't make sense for Charlie and Vaggie to be fucking other wise
Vaginal Disapproval: pls stfu
The Face of the Campaign: they support ME
The Face of the Campaign: but then again im special
Ducky: special needs
The Face of the Campaign: for the sake of the hotel's rubber duck population, im ignoring that comment
Princess of Joy: I GOT ALASTOR A PHONE
Vaginal Disapproval: WHAT?!!?!??!
Ducky: Y DIDNT U START W/ THAT??!?!?!!???
Princess of Joy: I FUCKING TRIED
The Cat in the Hat: just add him and lets see how fast things go to shit
Princess of Joy added Al <3 to the group chat
Ducky: how ever long will be to long
Al <3 logged on
STAB: CHARLIEITHINKYOURDADISGAYFOR ALASTOR
Al <3: What?
Mike Wozowski: y u gae 4 dat guy
Ducky: IM NOT!!!!!
The Face of the Campaign: there r 5 exclamation marks and 5 letters in LGBTQ
Ducky: that makes no sense
Ducky: it's "LGBTQ+" we just say "LGBTQ" 4 short
The Face of the Campaign: thats something only a gay person wood now
Al <3: I'm confused.
The Face of the Campaign: who isnt
Mike Wozowski: y does he have a <3 after his name
Princess of Joy: thats how it is in my contacts
Ducky: uh
Princess of Joy: most of my contacts have a heart
Mike Wozowski: not misleading at alllll
The Face of the Campaign changed Al <3's name to Bambi
The Face of the Campaign: promlemo sololvedo
Ducky: 3/8 of us's names are pop culture references to animations
Mike Wozowski: nuh-uh
Bambi: You have to account for the 2018 live action remake of the Cat in the Hat.
The Cat in the Hat: ya, dat horrific thing
STAB: WESHOULDWATCHTHATATFAMILYMOVIE NIGHT
Princess of Joy: O YA!
Princess of Joy: WE NEED TO REINSTATE THAT
Mike Wozowski: family movie night?
Vaginal Disapproval: prepare to question ur existence
Bambi: And/or use your privilege of picking the movie for movie night as a form of currency.
STAB: ANDTHATLEADSTOWATCHINGHENTIA
KAMENTWONIGHTSINAROW
The Cat in the Hat: it does
The Face of the Campaign: I love how we all understand Niffty's chaotic texting perfectly
Bambi: You and Cherri are more chaotic.
Vaginal Disapproval: how is it that the one who hates modern technology is the best texter
Bambi: Because I strive to be better, no matter what.
The Cat in the Hat: Translation: pettiness
Bambi logged off
Ducky: ITS THAT EASY ??!?!!?!
Princess of Joy: wuts that easy
Mike Wozowski: twerking
The Cat in the Hat: nope
The Cat in the Hat logged off
The Face of the Campaign: I was gonna say lap dancing
Mike Wozowski: on Vaggie
Ducky: ...
Princess of Joy: STAHP
Ducky logged off
The Face of the Campaign: y? hes already gone
Vaginal Disapproval: omfg
Vaginal Disapproval logged off
Princess of Joy logged off
STAB: SOMETIMESIWONDERWHOTOPS
The Face of the Campaign: idk
Mike Wozowski: gtg
Mike Wozowski: cya
Mike Wozowski logged off
The Face of the Campaign:
⊂_ヽ
＼＼
＼( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> ⌒ヽ
/ へ＼
/ / ＼＼
ﾚ ノ ヽ_つ
/ /
/ /|
( (ヽ
| |、＼
| 丿 ＼ ⌒)
| | ) /
ノ ) Lﾉ
(_／
STAB: BYE
STAB logged off
The Face of the Campaign logged off
12:31
The Face of the Campaign logged on
The Face of the Campaign: hello, demons of the hotel
Ducky logged on
Ducky: wat a title
The Face of the Campaign: ikr
Ducky: I was being sarcastic
The Face of the Campaign: ...
The Face of the Campaign: vagina, y do u have ur daddy in laws phone?
Ducky logged off
Vaginal Disapproval logged on
Vaginal Disapproval: HOW TF DID U KNOW
The Face of the Campaign: the two people I know w/ the last name Morningstar can't understand sarcasm, let alone speak it
Princess of Joy logged on
Ducky logged on
Princess of Joy: idk if I should be offended or not
The Face of the Campaign: b offended
Ducky: ...ok?
The Face of the Campaign: SEE????
Princess of Joy: see wat
The Face of the Campaign: shit Vals here
The Face of the Campaign logged off
Princess of Joy: poor Angel
Vaginal Disapproval: ik
Vaginal Disapproval logged off
Princess of Joy logged off
Ducky: wats a Val?
Ducky: o well
Ducky logged off
17:06
Princess of Joy logged on
Princess of Joy: *MANDATORY* MEETING @ 6
Ducky logged on
Vaginal Disapproval logged on
Ducky: O HI
Vaginal Disapproval: Y R U TYPING IN ALL CAPS?
Bambi logged on
Ducky: IDK I THOUGHT THAT WAS SOMETHING WE WERE DOING NOW
The Face of the Campaign logged on
The Face of the Campaign: I FEEL LIKE @STAB RN
STAB logged on
STAB: WHATSUP
The Cat in the Hat logged on
The Cat in the Hat: Tbh I'm reading this like yall r yelling and it's giving me a headache
Bambi: Skill issue.
The Face of the Campaign: *vine boom*
STAB: VINESDONTBOOM
Bambi: Exactly.
STAB: THEYSCREAM
Bambi: ...
Bambi: Exactly.
The Face of the Campaign: b4 yall go I have a question
The Face of the Campaign: how do u type a moan?
Ducky: Oh- Oh~
STAB: Oh~ Ah- ah! ... Oooohhhhhnnnnn!!!~~
Ducky: that's more orgasm. He asked 4 a moan
STAB: OHH
STAB: OK
The Cat in the Hat: wtf is this gc
Bambi: chaos in its purest form
Vaginal Disapproval: ...
Vaginal Disapproval: ok ya bye
Vaginal Disapproval logged off
Princess of Joy logged off
Bambi logged off
Ducky logged off
The Cat in the Hat logged off
The Face of the Campaign: I have a genius idea
Mike Wozowski logged off
STAB logged off
The Face of the Campaign logged off
17:08
Anul Crust has created a group chat
Anul Crust changed the name of the group chat to RadioApple Shippers Unite!!!
Anul Crust added BO0M B!T€H and 2 others to RadioApple Shippers Unite!!!
Vagatha logged on
BO0M B!T€H logged on
Rockin a Maid Dress logged on
Vagatha: wut is this
Anul Crust: everyone here ships Al & Lulu
Anul Crust: right?
Rockin a Maid Dress: yes
Anul Crust: this is a ship gc
BO0M B!T€H: oh ok bye
BO0M B!T€H logged off
Vagatha logged off
Rockin a Maid Dress logged off
Anul Crust logged off
Some Sort of Porno
23:00
Ducky logged on
Ducky: TEXTING @ MIDNIGHT BC IM BORED AF
Ducky logged off