Work Text:
The Alcott
When Viktors breath doesn’t sound like a death rattle anymore, when he’s asleep in the hospital bed that makes him look younger and smaller than Jayce knows him to be, when he’s not relaxed but at least not in active pain anymore, Jayce stands up and goes to see Mel.
He left her last night, when he woke up and was drawn to the Lab by some inexplicable force only to find Viktor collapsed on the floor, blood on his head and a pile of ash next to him. It slipped his mind until now, and he fervently prays that she’s not all too mad at him. He’ll explain it to her, that he enjoyed their tryst last night, that they can do it again, but that he needs to take care of Viktor right now, that Viktor needed him by his side today, that he liked being with her. She’ll understand; it’s Mel. She’s wonderful, she’s kind, she cares for him, even though Viktor doesn’t think so.
Jayce didn’t tell Viktor about him seeing Mel like that last night. It didn’t seem relevant, and he doesn’t need to drive the edge deeper in - for both of them.
They’re both aware that there is a missed opportunity between them, that there was potential for more once upon a time. At least Jayce is acutely aware of that, that there could have been something if they hadn’t spent years chasing their hextech dream, and instead looked inwards even once, inside the Lab, at each other. He wonders if Viktor thinks the same when he looks up at Jayce, smaller now that his Leg has become worse. A missed opportunity. Jayce thinks, sometimes, that maybe he was in love with Viktor at one point, when he was maybe four years younger, not a Councillor, not the Man of Progress, yet.
But that opportunity is amiss, now, and he’s moved on. Viktor’s still his best friend, his Partner, but that timeframe has passed, he’s sure of it, and Viktor probably knows, as well. And if it hadn’t been, well, then Jayce is making the conscious choice to miss the opportunity now, by walking up to Mels penthouse, her hiding spot she barred to him just last night. He straightens out his collar and combs a hand through his hair. He should’ve gone home first, but instead, he went straight from the Hospital room to her home. There is scruff on his cheeks.
He knocks on the door, and Elora opens it, her cool eyes taking him in, one eyebrow raised elegantly. She looks at him waiting, expectantly, listens as he states his Case. But Elora’s always been kind when he’s met her, so after a brief pause, she lets him in, even though she thinks Mel won’t be too happy to see him. Understandable. He did leave her high and dry after an eventful night, and when she woke up, it probably wasn’t nice to wake up to a cold bed.
Mel is painting, her long, beautiful hair cascading over her back, wearing a pretty gown; not her usual one, but a sleeveless one, instead, in a lighter shade; it’s almost Talis Red, Jayce thinks, and imagines her in Talis Red and Gold, all the time. It makes him smile, for a moment, before he thinks about Viktor again, and his heart lurches uncomfortably in his chest.
“You’re here.” She says. Her voice is soft, but controlled. She doesn’t even turn around from where she’s painting, noxian warships and vast seas. She’s good at it.
“I’m sorry for disappearing on you like that.” He answers, truthfully, takes a deep breath, “I didn’t mean to - I…” He has to stop again, “Viktor is dying.”
That gets her attention. She puts down the brush, and tilts her head, and Jayce can see her beautiful features, so different from Viktors, perfectly sculpted lips and gold accents around her eyes, beautiful even for an activity as lavish as painting.
“I found him last night in the lab” Jayce continues, walks himself over to her, sits down next to her; he reaches for her hand. It’s what he should do, to assure her that he cares for her, even as his chest constricts, his throat feels as if it’s swelling closed, “I was with him all day, I didn’t mean to leave like this.” He says, fights the tears down. He doesn’t want to cry in front of Mel. She’s so beautiful, and so kind, and…
“Sounds like you should be with him.” She answers, and Jayce lays his head in her lap instead of an answer. She seems surprised at that, but he looks up at her, meets her beautiful eyes, and shakes his head gently. He wants to be here, with her, thinking of something else that’s not Viktor. Wants to take the offered chance, because he did miss the opportunity with Viktor, and Mel’s so wonderful.
“Wanted to see you.” He croaks out, her hands gliding through his hair, over the hair on his cheeks and chin, “He’s asleep now. I - I think I’ll move him into Talis House.” He voices.
“You two are very close.” Mel assists him, clearly she wants him to go on. She’s so good at this, at listening and pulling more words from him. She does the same at the Council Meetings, helping him get to his points as if it comes natural to her. It’s what makes her such a good politician, and she’d make a good Partner, too.
No, Not Partner.
“The Doctor’s say it’s terminal.” Jayce says, and a half-sob comes over his lips. Mels fingers keep playing with his hair. He takes another deep breath, “He’s my Partner, Mel. My best friend. He and I….”
Mel can’t be his Partner. Viktor’s already his Partner, and even if Viktor dies, he’ll stay Jayce’s Partner. Girlfriend is too childish of a word for her, and he’s not sure she’d like being his girlfriend. Not sure if she’d like being with him, at all.
“I’m sorry.” He breathes, sits up from her lap again, and her eyes meet his; he debates leaning in and kissing her, not sure if she’d like that, either, so he settles for kissing her cheek.
“There must be a way” She says, encouraging as always. The perfect Politician, wonderful and kind to him, “You should talk to him about this, I think, but also reach out to some Doctors. Don’t forget who you are, Jayce.”
Her hands come up to straighten out his collar again, and he gives her a genuine, warm smile. She brushes over his cheek next.
“You should shave.”
“I came straight here from his Hospital Room.” He says, and only when she switches to another topic, her voice kind and gentle, talking to him about her art, and later, her Mother coming to Piltover - something she is evidently afraid of - and even later, when he’s returning to Talis House to start setting up a new room, does Jayce realize that he meant to tell her what he and Viktor talked about. Well. She’ll find out with the Papers in the Morning, then.
He’s never been a natural at talking to others. He was an odd child, too busy with magic and dreams; he had been a weird Student, good-looking and well-founded, but too fast for other Students. He wasn’t a good conversationalist when he and Viktor started with Hextech, but he’s learnt. He’s not a great Politician, either, always relying on Mel.
And when he had seen Viktor in that Hospital Bed, with the threat of maybe a year, maybe three years, maybe five at the Maximum, he had realized he didn’t like being a Politician, either.
Maybe, if he had been there, in the Lab, everyday with Viktor, if he had been where he should have been, he’d have noticed the signs. Maybe he’d have noticed how weak Viktor would have gotten, and they could have found a cure for it. They could have fixed it, together.
“My place isn’t up there.” Jayce had said to Viktor, nodded out of the Window to the Council Building, “And yours isn’t here, either.” He had added, and Viktor, sleepy and exhausted, and tired, and hurt, and sick, and dying had given him a slow blink.
“My place is here.” Jayce had said, “Next to you. In the Lab. You’re my Partner.”
“You’re talking too grandiose again.” Viktor had said, but there had been the hint of a smile on his lips.
He clears out his old Lab when he gets to Talis House. Viktor will complain, but he’ll give in, eventually, Jayce knows he will. He’ll find every Doctor in Piltover, in the Undercity, in all of Runeterra, and he’ll force them to fix it. To make Viktor healthy again, to make sure he doesn’t die. Jayce can’t lose him.
His mother watches him as he drags in a table, a chair, a wardrobe. He asks her to buy a new bed, tomorrow, one that will make sure Viktor is comfortable as he recovers. And he will. He has to recover.
By the time the clock strikes twelve, Jayce feels dead on his feet. Ximena went to bed two hours ago, but he’d made Viktors new bedroom nicer, more homely, and cleared out the downstairs bathroom for him. Thinking about it now, it might be best if Jayce moved in here, into the old Lab, because his Bedroom has an ensuite bathroom, and that might be easier for Viktor.
He entertains himself with an image as he gets ready for bed, the pure idea of Viktor living in his bedroom. Four years back, before they missed their window, Jayce would think about that every night. Would think about making a move, about Viktor moving into Talis House, into his bedroom with the connecting bathroom. Now, once Viktor moves here, that’ll be the truth, just not in a way Jayce could have ever imagined it.
Sitting next to Viktor, in that Hospital room, him being asleep, Jayce had drafted a letter of resignation from the Council, from being the Head of Piltover.
He had sent it to every Paper he could think of, and to the Council, too. He’s always been quick in his decisions. That had lead him to Hextech, and to Viktor, and into Mel’s arms.
It’ll work out. When he’s no longer in the Council, he can take better care of Viktor, and he could be with Mel, if she wanted that, too.
Hell breaks down on him from all sides the next week.
Every single Council Member and his Mother yell at him for quitting the Council like he did, in a public stunt, to go back to focusing on his research. Shoola calls him a fool, and Hoskel makes a backhanded comment about how young of a boy he really is.
Mel is ice cold and hurt that he didn’t tell her first, especially after coming to see her when the letter had already been drafted and sent; her eyes are cold when he stumbles over his words to apologize, and his thought is that she looks like a Princess, like Royalty. Kind, and benevolent, but no longer with the warmth he got to enjoy that night, and without the care she offered to him when he came to see her about Viktor.
“I need to be with him, Mel.” Jayce begs, “My place is with him, in the Lab. But that doesn’t mean I do not want to keep seeing you.”
“You could have told me” She says, and he wishes she’d at least snap, show him any emotion, “That was rash of you, Jayce, and childish, and immature. You could have told me at any point, or not make this decision by yourself.”
Salo levels him with an arrogant smile, when Jayce leaves after his verbal beating from Mel, and Shoola, and Hoskel, and Cassandra Kiramman. She, perhaps because of Caitlyn’s sick spell when they were young, still, or her talent for getting herself in danger, is the most understanding.
“You are throwing away a great opportunity” Cassandra tells him, clears her throat, “You could have changed Piltover into something greater than itself. But, I have heard. The mind is, perhaps, the weakest of all when it comes to issues of the heart.”
“I’m sorry.” Jayce tells her, “I’m sorry for disappointing you.”
“I was against your inclusion from the very beginning.” Salo says, as Jayce leaves the building, “A lower House playing King for a day; you were never meant to last.” He says, “Wish your Cripple all the Best from Me, will you? It’s the Gray, I heard. Not an unusual sickness for an Undercity Dog.”
Jayce has to leave quickly, because otherwise he’d kill Salo, he’s sure of it.
At home, Ximena yells at him, too. She’s hurt at being kept in the dark, at him quitting without saying a word, and it gets too much. He hasn’t cried once, only almost in Mels arms, since he’s learnt about Viktors condition. But after the Council, and his Mother, and Viktor dying , Jayce can’t do anything but fall into Ximenas arms and sob helplessly.
Perhaps the worst beating he gets, however, is from Viktor himself, when he gets released from the hospital three days later, and sees the Calendar Jayce has hung up in his new bedroom - Jayces bedroom. It seemed smarter to him, after really thinking about it.
Now, Viktor is on the ground level, still, but he has his own bathroom, a lockable door, and so much space. And a Calendar, where Jayce has mapped out visits from and to Specialists, from the Undercity, from Piltover.
“You will cancel all of those.” Viktor says, audibly irritated, “You are aware of what terminal means, Jayce, do not be foolish now. I wouldn’t know how to pay for them.”
“I’ll pay” Jayce is quick to say. He has so much money, he doesn’t know what to do with it, “All you’ll have to do is sit there and let them take a look, V, okay?” He says, and hopes it’ll fix it. It does precisely the opposite, because Viktor looks affronted and upset instead of calmed down, as he should have looked.
“It’s not enough that you take my autonomy away” Viktor yells at him, “And make all these big decisions, without even asking me. Resigning from the Council? When you’re the only one up there who cares about the Undercity? Great move!” He yells, and Jayce wants to defend himself, feeling his temper rise, too, “But I will not let you treat me like some pathetic Charity Case you can commit yourself to, now.” He says, breathing heavily.
“That’s not it at all” Jayce gets a word in, “You’re not some Charity Case, Viktor, You’re my partner.” He says, balls his fists, and Viktor gives him another affronted look, a humorless laugh.
“A Partner would respect my wishes and cancel all of this - this nonsense.” He says, “At least let me spend my remaining time as my own person. Bad enough You moved me here, where I’ll be doted on you the entire time like some sick Child. At least let me be my own Person.”
“I don’t want you to die .” Jayce yells at him, and the energy leaves his body; he can tell that it’s the same for Viktor, who sits down on the bed, chest heaving, breath rattling in his chest again. Jayce hangs his head and tries to stave off the incoming tears again, his voice a hushed whisper, clearly wet, when he speaks again, “I don’t want you to die, Viktor.”
“I’m exhausted, Jayce.” Viktor says, “I think I’d like to rest, now.”
The next day, when he helps Viktor do the breathing exercises the Doctor has prescribed him, they are both a little tender, still.
“Your Mother visited me last night.” Viktor says, and Jayce gets reminded how he had cried again, in his Mothers embrace, like a child about to lose his best friend. And somewhere deep inside of him, he still is that little Child who was trapped in the snowstorm, afraid.
Last night, he had cried for Viktor, upset and helpless, afraid because his Partner is dying, is dying , and Jayce has no idea how he’ll cope in one, or two, or three years. How he’ll cope when Viktor isn’t Viktor anymore.
“She said She could cancel the Doctors you picked out. If that was my wish.” Viktor says, voice soft, gravelly somehow, still.
“I can do that, too.” Jayce says, “You are my Partner, you are right. It is your life, it was - unfair of me, to sign you up for all of this.”
His Mother had said that it was Viktors choice, too. That if it didn’t work, and he got his hopes up, that he’d just be even more hurt once he succumbed eventually to his illness. Jayce hadn’t thought about it that way.
Viktor looks at him for a while, and Jayce takes it as his Queue to leave again, let Viktor finish this alone, the way he wants to. Only when he’s at the door, does Viktor call him back.
“I’ll see them.” He says, and he sounds exhausted, “Your Doctors. It might not help, but, who knows, if magic is real, maybe a miracle cure could be real, too.”
Jayce manages to not start crying until the door closes behind him.
There are good days and there are bad days.
On good days, Viktor is mobile and they spend time in the Lab, playing around with Hextech Contraptions and ideas; Sky stops by, every now and then. They don’t need her as an assistant anymore, with the two of them chasing passion projects over their actual research. Mel stops by once, in the first month they spend like this.
She tells him about the developments in the Council, and he listens, enjoys her closeness until he hears Viktor cough, and is back at his side in an instant. When he looks up at Mel, her eyes are mustering him calmly, taking note of his hand on Viktors back. He should feel bad about it, maybe, after all he’s thought about her by his side. But he can’t really find it in himself to care too much, not when Viktor needs all his attention right now.
“I should get back to the Council.” Mel says, and Jayce walks her to the door. When she smiles at him, decidedly more collected, he gets the idea of another missed opportunity again. Another lost chance at love.
This one, not lost to time, but squandered away for something more important than physical closeness. Flung to the wind for the man inside the laboratory, coughing and sick and still, his Partner.
“Will you come back?” Jayce asks, even though he knows the answer.
“We all make choices in life, Mr. Talis.” She says; he leans in to kiss her goodbye on the cheek, and she takes a step back, “You would have made a good Politician. I hope this is worth it for you.”
“It is.” He says, and she gives him a smile. It seems genuine, if a little sad.
On those good days, they see Doctors in their clinics. Some have modern, experimental approaches, others try to administer some sort of traditional cure for the Gray that doesn’t work. It’s never worked.
On bad days, Viktor and him fight. He accuses Viktor of giving up, and Viktor tells him that he’s delusional and foolish.
He screams that Viktor is a coward, too caught up in his own suffering to notice that he’s hurting people around him, and Viktor screams back that he’s ready to die to make the pain stop, that he’s always in pain and that it’ll always be this way because of the way Piltover treats the Undercity. That it’s Jayces fault for giving up on Zaun.
Jayce runs through his hair and fights back until they’re both crying, and they climb into Viktors bed together; he holds Viktor until his breathing evens out, and they both stop sobbing.
It’s on one of these bad days, that Jayce notices he’s falling back in love with Viktor; or maybe he never fell out of it to begin with.
It couldn’t happen at a worse time.
They try a new method that is supposed to help Viktor, where they pump out the blood and water from his lung - a method from Noxus, apparently - but all that happens is that Viktor almost suffocates. It worsens his condition, too.
He gets so much worse over the span of just a few days, and his usual Doctor now thinks that he has six months at a maximum left.
When they get home from the Doctor, they fight like they’ve never fought before.
Viktor wants to die in grace, wants them to stop every treatment, wants to just move back into his old flat close to Zaun, and die there. Jayce wants the exact opposite. He wants them to fix it, no matter what cost.
Viktor screams that Jayce should wish for him to die, too, so he can go back to playing House with Mel Merdada. Jayce hadn’t realized that it was still a point of jealousy for Viktor, the way it had been when Jayce had still thought they could be a couple. The first time around, four or five years in the past. He doesn’t really notice time passing anymore. It’s just Viktor.
“Why should I care about Mel?” Jayce yells back, “You’re so jealous, I’ve put my entire life on hold for you, to make sure you won’t die, and you’re still jealous. What else do I need to do? I’ve only thought about You for A year!”
“I didn’t ask you for this” Viktor screams, and he starts coughing, a pitiful thing as always, but this time, it doesn’t stop. It doesn’t stop, and he gets paler, and scared, and he reaches out for Jayce, and before he really knows it, Viktor is unconscious in his arms.
Jayce wishes something would happen slowly for them, just once.
Creating Hextech had been a rush, and so had Viktors decline. Falling back in love with Viktor had happened in an instant. He wishes they’d have time, just once, just once , could it be easy just for one single instance?
They give him an offer, in the Piltover Hospital he brought Viktor, too. It’s risky, and it’s making a choice for Viktor he shouldn’t make, he knows when Viktor wakes up again, they’ll have a fight about it again. If he wakes up again.
It’s another rush, just as resigning from the Council, leaving Mel’s bed, falling back in love with Viktor, had been.
“Mr. Talis” The Doctor says, “Every second matters right now. We either sedate him and replace his lung with a prototype from Demacia, or he’ll die.”
“Why didn’t you offer this earlier?” Jayce asks the Doctor, and she sighs.
“It’s not safe. There is a sixty percent Chance his Body will reject the Lung, and he’ll die anyways; it’s not done, but - well, for him it’s this or certain death in the next two hours.”
Jayce fights the tears, and wishes something was easy for once. He wishes he’d made a move five years back, he wishes he’d never invented Hextech, he wishes he’d met Viktor in a different timeline, he wishes they’d gotten married, he wishes he’d kiss Viktor at least once.
“ Mr. Talis, we are losing him. ” The Doctor says, and Jayce gives her a defeated look. Viktor will be so upset with him; but he’ll be alive.
“Fine, fine, do it.” He says, or screams, or yells. He’s not sure anymore.
He’s not permitted into the OR, has to wait outside, his heart beating out of his chest the entire time. If Viktor survives this, when he wakes up, Jayce will marry him. Or maybe, Viktor will be so upset he’ll never want to speak to Jayce again. But that’s fine, too, Jayce thinks. Because at least he will be alive.
He cries so much that his head starts hurting; Ximena stops by, after the fourth hour, someone informed her. He’s not sure who. He didn’t.
“You should go home, Jayce.” She says, “It’ll take at least five more hours, you’ve heard them.”
“I can’t, Mama.” He says and feels like a child, “What if he wakes up and I’m not there?”
In his nightmare, Viktor dies on the table. His body rejects the Lung, and he dies. His last memory of Jayce will be Jayce screaming at him that he’s jealous,and unfair, and a coward.
He dies, and Jayce never gets to be with him. Viktor will never know that Jayce is in love with him, that he wants them to be together, that he wants his Problems to be Viktors Problems, and the other way around. That he wants it all.
In his nightmare, Viktor is alive and sees Jayce, and he hates him.
He stands up, and he walks out, and he tells Jayce to get out of his life forever.
In his nightmare, Viktor dies on the table.
He wakes up when a nurse gently taps him on the shoulder, and he shoots up so quickly that he almost knocks her out, and himself in that process, too.
“Mr. Talis?” She asks, “Uh, he’s just gotten out of the OR, he’s in intensive care now.”
“Is he-” Jayce starts, and the Nurse interrupts him with a curt nod.
“His body has accepted the Lung.”
Viktor sleeps for at least a day, and Jayce doesn’t leave the bedside for longer than twenty minutes at a time; the thought kills him, that Viktor could wake up and he wouldn’t be there. He could wake up, and not see Jayce.
It’s weird to listen to him now, with his lungs no longer rattling with each breath. He’d gotten so used to it, to Viktors uneven, scary breaths, and the absence of them makes Jayce feel like it’s no longer Viktor laying on the bed, breathing and sleeping. He doesn’t seem to be in visible pain, which is good. It will probably get worse when the heavy sedatives wear off, but for now he’s just breathing, and it’s… good. It’s good that he’s breathing.
Jayce sits next to him and waits.
He falls asleep once or twice, and each time he wakes up, a Nurse is there, checking on Viktor. Eventually, she brings in the Doctor, and they tell him that they’ll wake Viktor up now.
Jayce breaks into sobs when Viktor opens his eyes, his heart beating so quickly; he’s not lost him. He’s alive. He’s okay.
The golden eyes look at him, and he looks around, his eyes clinging to the Doctor and Nurse before they settle on Jayce; it feels like nothing else matters for a second, just them and this shared glance. Jayce wishes the Doctor would leave, so they’d have this moment for just themselves.
But it’s good that she’s there, because she can explain everything that has happened to Viktor, while Jayce just gets to sit next to him and cling to his hand, and think about putting a ring on Viktor and marrying him, and think about kissing him, and never letting him go.
“Do you have any questions, Mr. Talis?” She asks, and Jayce looks up, until he notices that she’s looking at Viktor, talking to him. His voice sounds like a death rattle, unused to the new lung, clearly.
“No” Viktor croaks out, and Jayce realizes he must have put his name on Viktors sheet when he was checking him in, “No.” He repeats, and the Doctor smiles at them before she promises to be back in 15 Minutes with some more sedatives and water.
Finally, blissful silence, just the two of them in the room. Jayce keeps clinging to Viktors hand, feels like sobbing, and he’s aware he is crying, still, maybe even sobbing more than he realizes. But it doesn’t matter to him, all that matters is that Viktor is alive, and looking at him with those golden eyes.
“I’m sorry” Jayce says, “I know you wanted to die in grace, but I couldn’t - I couldn’t let you die.” He brings out, before he erupts into more tears. He brings their intertwined hands to his lips, kisses them feverishly, “I’m sorry, Viktor, I couldn’t let you die .”
“Jayce” Viktor says, still rough, but his wonderful accent curls around the letters in a way that Jayce feared he might have lost, “ Jayce .”
“I’m sorry” Jayce repeats, “They gave me the choice, I know It wasn’t your choice, I’m sorry, I just couldn’t let you die .”
He keeps kissing Viktors hand, apologizing, until Viktor takes his hand away. The long, cold fingers dance over his cheeks, where he’s growing hair again, a beard coming in slowly.
“I like it” Viktor says, “I was scared, Jayce. Of Dying.”
“I know” Jayce says, but Viktor shushes him.
“Thank you for making this Choice.” He says, “I know you had no other choice, really. I’d have done the same if it was you.”
“It was the last thing you wanted” Jayce says, “Me making choices for you, and it was the first thing I did…” He murmurs, and Viktor gives him half a smile, and that’s all it takes for Jayce to break, “I couldn’t let you die, Viktor, I’m in love with you, I couldn’t let you go.”
His hand lays useless on the bedding, and Viktor picks it up and kisses it.
They sit in silence afterwards, just the clean breathing of Viktors new lung filling the air.
“I didn’t realize” Jayce says, a while later, a while where he’s just gotten to hold Viktors hand, a while later where Viktor isn’t dying anymore, “That I put my name on your sheet. I was so worried. It was all so fast.”
“Maybe a bit fast.” Viktor says, squeezes his hand, “But for what it’s worth, maybe in the future. I’m in love with you, too.”