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Chapter Text

Arjun's pov

"From the very first day I taught him, I knew he was destined to be the greatest archer the world has ever seen. And today, it is laid bare for everyone to see--my disciple Arjun, the supreme archer of the world!"

The arena burst into cheers.

"Arjun! Arjun! Arjun!"

Bheem pumped his fist from the corner where he and Arjun's three other brothers were standing; Nakul and Sahadev were laughing. Yudhishthir was smiling proudly. Duryodhan and Dussashan ground their teeth in their corner.

Aswatthama, sitting on the podium with his father, gave Arjun a thumbs-up and winked at the crowd teasingly.

Arjun had never seen such public adoration, and that too, directed at himself. Fresh out of the gurukul, the only thing he had craved was his Guru Dronacharya's approval.

It came in the form of a small, proud smile, which Arjun had always gone greater and greater lengths to achieve.

It had never come in claps and yells and stamping of feet. And it certainly had never come in the form of chants of his name.

"Arjun! Arjun! Arjun!"

He began to feel his face burning. Maybe it was time to bow out of the arena.

Dronacharya had not taught him what he was supposed to do when he was the last-standing victor in the arena.

Arjun started to bow.

"Before proclaiming your student as the supreme archer of the world, Acharya," a voice roared. "How about you test his prowess against the supreme archer of the world?"

******************

Silence fell in the audience.

A tall figure in golden armour strode in. A bow was hung over his shoulder. His posture was erect, his steps purposeful. His demeanour exuded confidence.

Arjun straightened up and studied him in confusion.

He was not anyone from the royalty. Arjun did not remember ever having seen him before. His age, estimated Arjun, would be around a few years older than Yudhishthir.

"I challenge your disciple, Acharya. Lift your bow, Arjun, and fight me."

Arjun looked up at Dronacharya automatically.

"Why are you looking at him?" demanded the stranger. "Do you need your guru's permission to accept a challenge, Arjun? Do you not have an ounce of pride? Or are you afraid? For you will not be able to defeat me, and then your brief tag of supreme archer in the world would have crumbled to dust."

Arjun frowned.

"I am not afraid," he said. "And you will never defeat me."

He raised his bow. The stranger raised his.

"HALT."

Bhisma Pitamah's voice echoed in the arena from the podium.

Arjun and Karna paused.

"Acharya," Bhisma said, turning to Drona. "Since it is you who has organized the display of skill, put forth your rules, please."

Dronacharya stood up. He looked furious as he looked down at the stranger. Arjun wondered if there was the vague flicker of recognition in them.

"The foremost rule, of course, is that one who is accepting a challenge needs to know the identity of the challenger," he said.

The stranger stood, if possible, straighter.

"Do you not know of my identity, Gurudev?"

Every head in the arena turned to Dronacharya.

Aswatthama's eyes had widened. "Karna?"

The stranger, in his anger, did not quite return Aswatthama's welcoming smile, but Arjun got the feeling that they knew each other well, and were fond of each other.

Dronacharya seemed to have finally placed him.

"Yes, it is me," said Karna. "Your disciple, Gurudev. The one whom you refused to teach further than basic weaponry. I swore to you, remember? I swore to you that I will be back, and in a way you will not like."

*****************

An urgent murmuring went around the arena. Dronacharya's enmity with King Drupad was well-known in Hastinapur. Was this person another of those?

Arjun, intrigued by this confident intruder and by the fact that he seemed to be Aswatthama's friend but seemed to hate Dronacharya so much, thought he would be a nice challenge to defeat.

"Come on then," he said, positioning his bow.

"You are challenging Prince Arjun?" said Dronacharya. "If I am not wrong, Your Excellency, is the son of a charioteer allowed to challenge a Ksatriya with the bow and arrow?"

A collective gasp rose.

"Son of a charioteer?" repeated Bhisma in disbelief.

"He happens to be your charioteer's son, in fact," said Dronacharya. "Karna is Adhirath and Radha's son."

The audience, having got over their shock, broke into an angry chant.

"Go away, Sutaputra! Go away, Sutaputra!"

"Sutas are not allowed to wield the bow and arrow," said Bhisma. "Do not insult our arena, Karna. Leave."

Arjun looked up at his grandfather, stunned. He had never heard him speak in such a tone. To a warrior in public.

"Go away, Sutaputra! Go away, Sutaputra!"

"WHY CAN'T SUTAS WIELD WEAPONS, YOUR EXCELLENCY?" shouted Karna over the chants, undeterred. "IS RIGHT JUDGED BY BIRTH OR COMPETENCE?"

"You asked me the same question earlier, Karna," said Dronacharya. "And I answered you. I will answer you again. Higher knowledge of weaponry is only meant for Ksatriyas and Brahmins. It is the way things are. But the world need charioteers, too. They are respected in their own profession."

"Certainly," said Bhisma. "I have great respect for Adhirath. I consider him a personal friend. But I do not think he would presume to raise a weapon."

Every line in Karna's face stood out in fury.

"And what if," he asked fiercely, "the son of a charioteer defeated someone Guru Drona proclaimed the best archer in the world? Charioteers will presume to raise weapons then. The world will know the son of a charioteer can also become the best archer in the world."

"That cannot happen," Dritarashtra announced. "Forsake the arena, Sutaputra, and you will be pardoned for this intrusion. Linger, and--"

"Uncle," said Arjun quickly. "Pitamah--Gurudev--I can defeat him. I will defeat him so quickly he will never--"

"You will insult your competence by fighting the son of a charioteer, Arjun?" Bheem demanded incredulously.

"I forbid you, Arjun," said Drona.

The crowd was rejuvenated.

"Go away, Sutaputra! Go away, Sutaputra!"

"Do not compel us to take you out by force, Karna," said Bhisma.

When Arjun, feeling all funny, dared to look up at the warrior who identity was stamped 'Sutaputra', Karna's shoulders had finally slumped. He was shaking from fury and flushed from humiliation. But he was also defeated.

He had finally realized he could not fight alone.

Arjun found himself wishing he fought a little more. He had never wanted to duel anyone more.

"Go away, Sutaputra! Go away, Sutaputra!"

Karna did not fight any more. He lowered his bow and turned away.

"Pitamah! It is against the rules for the son of a charioteer to fight a Ksatriya. But would it be against the rules if the son of a charioteer was a King, too?"

Chapter Text

Karna's pov

As the arena fell silent as one entity, Karna glanced around.

It was Crown Prince Duryodhan who had spoken. For a moment, Karna wondered if he was getting at some twisted line of mockery. The word 'King' had certainly made it seem so.

But then, Duryodhan turned to Karna.

And he smiled.

Karna blinked.

The Crown Prince's smile was not mocking. It was reassuring. It was supportive.

Karna felt his throat tighten out of nowhere and he was instantly ashamed. Nothing justified out-of-control emotions, but reeling from the public humiliation, almost dizzied with anger and helplessness, that one smile of Duryodhan appeared brighter to him than the sun.

It brought with it solace and comfort, but most importantly, hope.

***************

"What do you mean, Duryodhan?" asked Bhisma.

"I think Karna deserves to have a shot at dueling Arjun if he thinks can defeat him," said Duryodhan. "And even Gurudev--" He turned to Dronacharya with a sarcastic smile. "--if you intend to prove Arjun is the best in the world, you must let Karna fight him. Otherwise, let your claim be empty words, and Hastinapur will know." He bowed at the crowd.

Karna could hardly believe his eyes or ears.

Was Duryodhan truly fighting for him? Fighting his family, his Gurudev for him?

Why would he do that? How could he do that?

"At the same time, according to our learned elders--" Again, there was the subtle sarcasm. "--the son of a charioteer cannot fight a Ksatriya, even if he is as, or more competent."

Duryodhan strode into the dueling area, right up to Karna, who could only gaze at him, transfixed.

"And I have a solution to this dilemma. The son of a charioteer cannot fight Arjun. But if he were to be awarded a kingdom, if we were a King, his status as King would supersede his status of birth. Is that not so, Pitamah?"

Bhisma looked baffled. "Certainly, but--"

Duryodhan looked up at the King Dhritarashtra.

"So Father, I request you to make Karna the King of Anga."

***************

There was not a word to be heard.

Karna pinched his arm discretely to make sure he was not asleep. Duryodhan appeared to catch the act and grinned, the way a comrade would grin.

"You promised you would make me the King of Anga after I graduated, Father," he said. "I am allowed to make my friend Karna the King in my stead, am I not?"

My friend.

My friend Karna.

That word--that phrase--it reverberated inside Karna's head so loudly and so many times that he missed the next part of Duryodhan's negotiation, and defence against his father, grandfather and Minister Vidur.

No one had ever called him a friend before.

And it was not like he had ever called anyone a friend, either.

Who would want to befriend him?

Among the charioteer community, everyone looked at him like he had a contagious disease because he spent all his time practising archery in the courtyard. Among the Ksatriyas, he had perpetually been mocked, laughed at and demeaned for he had dared to lift a bow.

There had only been Vrushali, the daughter of a charioteer friend of his father's, but even she had never called him a friend. Though she had been kind to him, it had appeared to him more out of pity at his outcast status than respect of his mindset and skill.

Karna did not want kindness and pity. He had cut off Vrushali long back, when he had gone in hunt of teachers.

But Duryodhan...

He had spoken up for him trusting in his skill. He had spoken up for him because he was the only one who had seen beyond his birth.

*******************

The negotiation appeared to be over.

"Do you accept Anga, my friend?" Duryodhan asked.

Karna forced himself out of the daze and tried to speak.

"I--I could not accept it, Prince--I cannot let you give away a kingdom that would have belonged to you--"

"But it is I who is offering you," said Duryodhan. "You must accept it, Karna."

Karna did not want the spellbound arena to listen in, so he spoke quietly.

"I have done nothing to deserve it, Crown Prince."

"Friend," corrected Duryodhan, also quietly. "I am not the Crown Prince to you. I am your friend."

They looked into each other's eyes in silence.

"All right. Then, I--I--have done nothing to deserve Anga, my--my--friend--" The last word was a hoarse whisper.

"You have," said Duryodhan, now raising his voice again. "You have dared to raise your voice. You have dared to give Sutas the hope to fight. If you have not done anything to deserve the kingdom of Anga, what have we done? What have my cousins done? Born to royalty? Is that what we have achieved?"

In the crowd, the same people who had been shouting for Karna to leave were moved to throes of admiration by Duryodhan's speech.

"Long live, Yuvraj Duryodhan! Long live, Yuvraj Duryodhan!"

Bolstered, Duryodhan threw an arm around Karna, who almost flinched away before stilling himself.

"I present to you--the King of Anga, my friend Karna! Challenge Arjun, Angaraj."

Ears ringing and hands shaking, but voice steady and firm, Karna spoke. "I challenge you to a duel, Arjun."

"I accept, King of Anga," said Arjun instantly.

******************

By the time they had exchanged the first round of arrows, Karna had to admit his opponent was a brilliant archer. He saw the same realization in the way Arjun's brow furrowed and the way he redoubled his efforts, as did Karna.

It appeared both of them had been almost relaxed in their conviction that they were by far the superior. Neither had considered they might actually be evenly matched.

******************

They lost track of time as they dueled. They tried everything, but neither could breach the other's defence.

The crowd swooned and shrieked far more than it had during any other face-off during the display earlier. Most people seemed to be supporting Arjun--which Karna was neither bothered nor grudging about, for Prince Arjun, the universally liked, polite, respectful, well-mannered and supremely skilled child, was the apple of Hastinapur's eyes--but amidst the cheers of Arjun's name, Karna heard a bunch of voices, coming from the direction of the Kauravas.

"Come on, Karna! Come on, King of Anga!"

His name. They were cheering his name.

Duryodhan was leading.

*******************

In the end, sunset forced the duel to an undecided end.

It had been three hours, Karna heard people saying in awe. The most amazing duel they had ever seen, they said.

Even for mostly evenly-matched pair of warriors, a decision would have resulted in that duration. Karna attributed the stalemate to the drama that had preceded it and distracted him.

Someday, he would certainly defeat Arjun. He knew he could. Arjun might be good--even extraordinary--but he knew he was better.

Karna's eyes absent-mindedly dwelled on Arjun's brothers coming to talk to him excitedly, starting to return to the dugout. The twins, Nakul and Sahadev were the most excited of all and hung to every word Arjun said. They could not be heard above the hubbub in the arena, but their demeanour was of people who trusted each other completely and had and would stand by each other through everything.

A voice broke into his thoughts.

"Well done, my friend. Even with the moral support of the entire arena, Dronacharya's prized pupil could not defeat you. Next day, you will surely defeat him."

It was Duryodhan, offering Karna a hand. Karna shook it the way people greeted each other and made to let it go, but Duryodhan held on and propelled him to the Kauravas.

"Meet my brothers, Karna--here's Dussashan--that one there is Vikarna--where's Yuyutsu...?"

And just like that, Karna found himself pulled into a large bunch of brothers and one sister, Dushala, who smiled shyly at him. He was invited to the palace with them--"You're a king now, get used to palaces!" Duryodhan said when Karna hesitated--he was given a tour of the palace, he was taken to have dinner with them, and with King Dhritarashta and Queen Gandhari.

Afterwards, Duryodhan sent everyone away so he could take a walk with Karna alone.

Karna had never, in his life, felt so valued.

Chapter Text

Karna's pov

The first month after the fateful incident at the arena was something out of another person's world to Karna. After having lived in a humble hut with his poor but loving parents, the palace at Anga with its glorious marble and glittering gemstones, its unending array of rooms, its abundance of servants and elaborate feasts every other day blinded his eyes as often as overwhelmed him.

Deep inside, Karna was not fond of the glitter. He knew neither were his parents, who, though had refused to take up permanent residence in Anga, had already visited a dozen times. Possibly they had not shifted out of Hastinapur because they had known Karna would spend half his time at Hastinapur, too.

For to Karna, the most special thing since becoming the King of Anga was neither the glamour--which he disliked--nor the expansive opportunity for charity a king got for his poor subjects--which he loved to do--but his friend.

Duryodhan had not been lying when he had said he was not the Crown Prince to Karna, but a friend.

Though of wildly opposite natures, for Duryodhan was boisterous, assertive and impulsive, and Karna of a much calmer and even timid disposition in matters apart from archery, it was like the stars had always meant for them to be friends.

They went hunting, they took endless walks, they took kingdom decisions together. Duryodhan paid surprise visits to Radha and Adhirath, who had swiftly got fond of him, and insisted Karna visiting Dhritarashtra and Gandhari at every opportunity. This, of course, Karna felt awkward about, since they were not charioteers like his parents but the King and Queen. However, they had also got fond of Karna, and never seemed to mind his intrusions.

The person Karna admired the most in the palace was Queen Mother Kunti. She was dignified enough to command automatic respect and yet so kind to everyone, even the servants, that she commanded love, too. Everyone in the palace heeded her word, and as for her five sons, they worshipped the ground she walked upon.

Queen Mother Kunti was the only person apart from Radha Maa who made him feel like a child with a single glance.

She was the only person in the palace who would presume to ask a king if he had eaten, and if he was taking enough rest. She did it every time Karna visited.

"It must be trying, getting used to ruling a kingdom for the first time in your life," she told him one day. "How are you dealing with it, in general?"

"Oh--it is not that hard--Duryodhan is always there to help..."

"But do keep in mind the decisions you take are your responsibility, won't you, Karna? At the end of the day it does not matter who advised you; it was you who took the decision."

Karna was much struck that day, because he had honestly never thought of it that way.

Another time, Kunti asked, "Are you keeping up with archery practice? Is running the kingdom getting into its way?"

She was the only person who had realized this. How could she guess?

"A little," said Karna glumly.

Kunti smiled and patted his cheek. "Give yourself a bit of time to get the hang of things. But many people are not made for running a kingdom, but rather to be their king's armour."

"Like Arjun," said Karna, bitterly, before he could help it.

"Like Arjun," agreed Kunti. "You know, Karna, you need not dislike Arjun and the others so much. They are not bad people...and I am not saying just because they are my sons. I am sure you could be good friends with them, too--they are like your younger brothers..."

"I am sorry, Maharani, I can never be good friends with your sons," said Karna stiffly.

"Why not?"

"Someday, I have to defeat Arjun squarely," mumbled Karna. "Arjun is both my greatest rival and my greatest opportunity. I have dreamt of defeating him for years; I cannot let go that desire, Queen Mother."

"Simply defeat him," whispered Kunti cautiously, "right?"

"Often defeat ends in death."

"Oh, Karna," said Kunti. "Do not consciously breed hatred in your heart, especially for those who have never hurt you. Poison breeds poison, and you two may end up making a lifetime enemy of the other and looking back, neither of you will find the cause."

Karna stayed silent.

He hated the Pandavas with even greater intensity because their mother made him wish he was not their enemy.

*****************

It was all fine for Kunti to say he could be good friends with the Pandavas. The looks they gave him when they crossed paths in the palace of Hastinapur--

Well, they suggested everything otherwise.

Bheem seemed never to have forgiven Duryodhan or Karna for challenging Arjun in the arena because he hissed ominous comments about how a crown did not purge a sutaputra's blood. Nakul and Sahadev sniggered. Yudhishthir gave them stern glances.

Arjun kept his nose in the air. He appeared determined neither to acknowledge Karna by taunting him about his birth, nor by challenging him to another fight.

He appeared determined to ignore Karna's existence altogether.

To Karna's relief, Duryodhan disliked the Pandavas with every fibre of his being, and so did most of his brothers. Some, like Vikarna and Yuyutsu maintained friendship with them, but as a rule, the Kauravas and Pandavas detested each other.

It was a wonder that they survived in the same palace without strangling each other.

It made Karna glad, because if Duryodhan had been fond of his younger cousin Arjun, Karna could not have gone on being friends with him. He would have forsaken the kingdom gifted to him by Arjun's cousin, reaccepted the tag of the son of a charioteer and resumed looking for opportunities to engage Arjun to duel with him and prove himself the superior.

Instead, Duryodhan was thrilled to bits with Karna's skill in archery and the fact that he posed a serious threat to Arjun.

"You will never believe his arrogance," he said in disgust. "Once he had sweet-talked Guru Drona into favouring him, he felt himself set above everyone else. Do you know what he did with a boy who posed a threat to his skill and ego, who was not even Dronacharya's pupil, and simply practiced in front of an idol of him?"

"What?"

"He asked Dronacharya to demand gurudakshina in the form of his thumb," whispered Duryodhan dramatically.

"What a cowardly thing to do," said Karna, outraged.

Duryodhan shrugged. "Eliminating threats is his and Gurudev's way of establishing him the best archer in the world. Cut one's thumb off, forsake the other owing to his birth."

"He's exaggerating," said Aswatthama with a tolerant grin. He seemed the only person who was friends with both the Kauravas and the Pandavas--and he was Karna's friend from gurukul, too, into the bargain. "My father asked for Ekalavya's thumb himself. He belonged to Magadha and may someday have fought against Hastinapur."

"Choose to be deluded if you so wish, Aswa," said Dussashan.

"Arjun had nothing to do with it, at any rate," said Aswatthama. "But indeed, we may choose to believe what we want, Dussashan."

Duryodhan looked at Karna.

"We will not let Arjun eliminate you unfairly, my friend. We will soon find an opportunity to force him into another duel, and we all know who the victor would be."

Chapter Text

Arjun's pov

Arjun was shooting at a target one evening after sunset. Aiming accurately in the dark was a skill he cherished and was determined to maintain at the high level he possessed it. Not many could manage it. Even Aswathhama, whom Dronacharya had tried to teach for long, had never managed it.

He wondered if the King of Anga could shoot in the dark. He could, probably. Sahadev had said Karna's competence, as he claimed, was nothing more than a few fancy tricks, but Arjun knew better.

The King of Anga was an extraordinary warrior.

Arjun scowled.

Since he had been singled out by the son of a charioteer on his mission to prove that men of his birth could also become the best archer in the world, Arjun had found himself pondering more and more about Karna's skill. Which was irksome, because he did not want to waste his thoughts and time on someone so rude and uncivilized, and most importantly--someone who hung around with Duryodhan and Dussashan like a leech.

The twang of a bowstring made him look around sharply. He dodged out of the way of the arrow that came flying at him next, squinting into the dark.

"Not bad," came the King of Anga's voice.

He came into sight at a stride.

"Is attacking someone behind their back in the darkness your idea of competence, King of Anga?" asked Arjun.

"No. I was merely checking your reflexes," said Karna with an arrogant lilt in his voice. "Even if you had not dodged, the arrow would not have touched you."

Arjun could not deny that.

"You are free to check my reflexes anytime you wish," he said coldly. "Even if you aim correctly, which I doubt you can do in the dark, I will know."

"My friend was saying you were exceedingly conceited about how you alone could aim in the dark at the gurukul, Arjun. I wanted to show you that the gurukul's students were not the entire set of the world's great archers."

"Bit rich coming from you," said Arjun scornfully. "Who have you ever tested your skill against? Your fellow sons of charioteers?"

Karna's face tightened. "Being the son of a charioteer is not an insult to me."

"I did not mean it to be," said Arjun; he was being truthful, but he knew he would not be believed. "I simply meant that since people of your birth are forbidden from weapons, they would hardly be competent people to test yourself against."

As he had expected, Karna did not believe him.

"You Princes of royal birth," he said with supreme contempt, "who have been fed with silver spoons and upheld as the finest pieces of the kingdom would not survive in our world for more than a day."

"And yet," returned Arjun. "You do not mind sucking up to a Prince of royal birth for your personal interests. Can't deny you have got brains, King of Anga. You would be good in the royal circuit. Have you befriended Uncle Shakuni? He would love you. He would adopt you, probably."

For the first time, Karna looked truly furious instead of casually scornful.

"Yuvraj Duryodhan is my friend," he said quietly. "I will not tolerate you badmouthing him."

"I did not badmouth him, though there are several things I know about him that you don't, King of Anga."

"And there are several things I know about you too, Arjun. I don't know what Prince Duryodhan might have done in his earlier life, but I am sure he has not got someone's right thumb cut off out of jealousy of their skill."

Arjun clenched his shaking fists.

It had been years, but Ekalavya's severed thumb still haunted his dreams.

And Duryodhan had been telling people it was he who had demanded it of their guru?

Not that he would expect anything better from his cousin. He had never even considered the fact that cousins were meant to be on good terms, meant to be family. From the day Duryodhan had the sense to understand things, he had only ever showered the five of them with hatred and malice. It had stopped hurting long back.

There was no point in extending a conversation with someone who considered Duryodhan their friend and took his word to be the truth and law.

Arjun gave Karna his coldest smile and turned to leave the field.

"Running away as usual," said Karna, as expected. "Duryodhan said--"

"Duryodhan said, Duryodhan said, Duryodhan said..." chanted Arjun, mocking Karna's tone. "Do you ever decide anything for yourself, King of Anga?"

"Do you?" Karna shot back from behind him.

Arjun turned, eyebrows raised. "Meaning?"

"I thought Prince Yudhishthir's word was your law, Arjun. Was I wrong?"

"No, you were not wrong," said Arjun. "But you see, there is a tiny difference. Prince Yudhishthir is my jyesht. Elder brothers are the only people in the world who would never misuse your devotion."

"Neither would a friend!"

"Indeed. Are you sure you know the meaning of friendship, however? Friendship without-- er, benefits?"

Arjun turned and strode out of the field back to the palace without looking back.

*****************

"Back so early?" asked Sahadev when Arjun entered their room.

"There was an unwanted intrusion from that King of Anga," said Arjun in disgust.

Nakul and Bheem were playing a game of cards.

"Who's winning?" asked Arjun.

"Me," said both the players.

Arjun and Sahadev laughed, but Yudhishthir straightened up immediately.

"Now I do not know which one of you is lying, but one of you must be. How many times have I told you not to lie even in insignificant things like--"

"Come on, jyesht," groaned the other four.

Yudhishthir frowned and subsided.

"What did the King of Anga want with you?" asked Bheem without looking up from his cards. "He must have sought you out? Or did he just happen to stumble across the field at that particular hour?"

"Of course he sought him out," said Nakul. "He is obsessed with Brother Arjun."

"Well, I am not," said Arjun airily, though that was not entirely the truth, and from the look Yudhishthir gave him, he knew. "He wanted to show that he could shoot in the dark, too. Show-off," he muttered.

"Hey, but that's extraordinary," piped up Sahadev, bounding across the room to reach Arjun. "You have always been on the lookout for someone who could aim in the dark!"

"Even more extraordinary that it should be the son of a charioteer," drawled Bheem. "What is the world coming to?"

"Bheem," admonished Yudhishthir. "Have I not told you all not to use that offensive word? Arjun, you did not use it today, did you?"

Arjun fidgeted.

"I did, but--"

He quailed under Yudhishthir's glare.

"But I did not mean it to be offensive, jyesht, truly! I don't think being the son of a charioteer is an insult!"

"My dear," said Yudhishthir patiently. "He would think you meant for it to be offensive, would he not? Why are you encouraging this childish rivalry? Have you any idea the consequences such a rivalry could have?"

"I don't encourage it, jyesht," protested Arjun. "I never even speak to him."

"He doesn't," his twins spoke up for him immediately.

"The tone you four assume while speaking of him is encouragement in itself," sighed Yudhishthir.

"He is a bad element. Hanging around Duryodhan and openly antagonizing our brother," said Bheem. "I say you go ahead and knock him out, Arjun."

Yudhishthir's eyes swiveled to Arjun. Arjun shook his head placatingly.

"Why don't you do that with Duryodhan, Brother Bheem?" Arjun asked teasingly.

"I have a good mind to." Bheem started to stand up.

"Do not," thundered Yudhishthir in a tremendous voice, "give your brother any more ideas."

The four of them dissolved into laughter; Yudhishthir's glare lasted only half a minute, and Kunti had to come in from the next room to tell them to keep it down.

"It's nearly midnight! Go to bed immediately, all of you!"

Arjun leapt of the bed to fling his arms around his mother.

"Enough," said Kunti crossly, but she tousled his hair and kissed his forehead anyway.

After the annoying meeting with the King of Anga, his brothers' laugh and mother's hug was exactly what, he realized, he had needed.

Chapter Text

Arjun's pov

Six months from the day they graduated, Arjun was having an annoying sort of day.

Bheem had been in a foul mood from morning due to the long unavailability of the particular sweet dish he craved over a week. He had, of course, taken out his annoyance on his younger brothers. Since Nakul--the most common victim in such cases--had smartly stayed out of his sight--Arjun and Sahadev had been the ones to bear the brunt.

When Arjun complained to Yudhishthir, "Bhrata Bheem is yelling at us unnecessarily, jyesht," Yudhishthir disappointed by saying, "Let him yell his irritation out; better yell at us than go and challenge Duryodhan to a wrestling match."

"Easy for you to say," muttered Arjun. "He never yells at you."

What had followed was an encounter with the devil himself--Duryodhan, who had passed twenty comments about suck-ups to Guru Drona' unfair favour to the King of Anga's supremacy before he could walk away.

"I would stay out of the King of Anga's way, if I were you," Duryodhan called after Arjun ominously.

"Really? Is he planning to murder me? How kind of you to warn me, Bhrata Duryodhan."

"Just murder?" Duryodhan laughed. "No, you are not allowed to die so soon, Arjun. You have a lot to accomplish."

Arjun speeded up. Duryodhan, however, kept up with him on his enormous legs.

"You are the tool to my friend achieving greatness. Your defeat in front of the whole of Hastinapur with utter humiliation is going to be the stepping stone to--"

"To you and the King of Anga proving that the son of a charioteer can also be the best archer in the world," repeated Arjun. "Yes, I know, I know, Bhrata Duryodhan. I already know it by heart. Will you please leave me alone?"

"You seem to be in a touchy mood," observed Duryodhan.

"I am tired of hearing of the King of Anga day in, day out," said Arjun. "It is bound to get boring, right? He is obsessed with defeating me; I am not obsessed with defeating him."

"Maybe," suggested Duryodhan, "you would be, if you believed yourself to have that capability."

"I have the capability to defeat the King of Anga anyday!"

Duryodhan grinned. "So promise me one thing, if you are so sure. You will never turn down a challenge of his."

"Why," demanded Arjun, "would I turn down a challenge? I know you see the worst in us, Bhrata Duryodhan, but surely you know I would die before I turn down a challenge."

"Not if Gurudev had anything to do with it, given that the challenger is supreme to you by far."

Arjun picked up yet more speed till he left Duryodhan behind, fuming.

When people ran down his Gurudev was when he felt most capable of strangling them with his bare hands.

*******************

No sooner had he taken the sensible decision of going to lie on his mother's lap and made for her room than he came across the second devil--the King of Anga--talking to his mother, no less.

"--when you get down to it, there are so many things you had never considered before--" Kunti was saying.

"Yeah, the state of--" Karna began.

"What is it with you and your friend lurking around the whole palace and never giving us a moment of peace, King of Anga?" Arjun broke in testily.

Kunti and Karna turned. 

Arjun made a beeline for his mother and attempted to stand between her and his arch-rival.

"Go and plot my downfall with Bhrata Duryodhan and leave my mother alone," he said. 

"Arjun," said Kunti sternly.

"What? Why is he here, Maa? Why does he keep talking to you?"

"How old are you?" said Karna scornfully. "Eight?"

"How underhand are you?" asked Arjun. "To pretend to be nice to our mother while contemplating on killing me every day?"

"Arjun." Kunti was sterner this time. "There is no need to be so rude to someone who has not done anything to you." 

"Not done anything to me? What about his threats and challenges before I even knew him? Are they not the same?"

"Yes, but you see--" A teasing grin came on Karna's face. "Your mother is responsible for schooling you, not me."

"Thank heavens for that," said Arjun in his most condescending tone.

"Both of you, stop it," said Kunti. "As I was telling Karna the other day, Arjun, this rivalry and ill-feeling you two are growing inside yourselves is entirely meaningless. Karna is like your older brother..."

Arjun met Karna's eyes and found his own loathing reflected there.

"With due respect, no, I am not, Queen Mother," said Karna. "And I will take care not to intrude upon your mother's time, Arjun."

"How kind of you!" Arjun shouted after him.

Kunti surveyed Arjun after Karna had left. Her gaze seemed to suggest a severe reprimand coming his way.

A very unfair reprimand, thought Arjun plaintively.

"Bhrata Bheem and Duryodhan have already irritated me enough; I am not in the mood for all this, Maa," he said, before it could come, and followed the King of Anga out of sight.

***********************

Before he had gone down two flights, of course, Arjun was seized with guilt and fresh longing to go and lie down with his head on his mother's lap, the only thing that would help his foul mood.

His mother seemed to have gone into her room, for the corridor was empty. As he neared the door, Arjun heard her the voice of her friend and handmaiden, Priyamvada.

"--said Karna is like Arjun's elder brother--you should be more careful with your words, Maharani, if you are so determined to keep it a secret..."

"I do, certainly," said Kunti.

"But you should not. They are making enemies of themselves. And there is a lot of talk going around that with Karna at his side, Duryodhan can do anything. Wage any war, Maharani. You can end this."

"I?" asked Kunti.

"Yes, you, Maharani! You have always insisted on hiding the truth. This, however, is the most vital time for the truth. Karna deserves the truth, as do your sons."

"Even if I tell Yudhishthir and the others, how can I tell Karna, Priyamvada?" Kunti sounded despairing. "How will he handle the truth?"

Every nerve in Arjun's body was taut with curiosity.

"You will never know till you tell him. You cannot become a mute spectator to watching him allying himself with Duryodhan and make an enemy of his brothers."

Brothers? Arjun frowned.

"He--" said Kunti. "He would hate me forever. My son would hate me forever.  At this point, he comes to me for advice with the kingdom. He even--he even talks to me of everyday things, not the way a child would talk with a mother perhaps, but at least as one talks with someone they trust. I do not want to lose my Karna's trust by telling him I am the mother that abandoned him." 

Arjun reeled back from the door, blood pounding in his ears.

Surely--surely he had heard his mother wrong? Surely she had not said she was Karna's mother?

He must have heard her wrong.

He must have, because if she was his mother, the King of Anga was his brother.

Chapter Text

Karna's pov

When Bhisma announced that Yudhishthir was to be crowned as heir to Hastinapur's throne, outrage spread among the Kauravas.

After Duryodhan's initial fury had died down, he settled down to plotting with a calmer mind. One evening, he and Dussashan sought out Karna.

"I was having a discussion with Uncle Shakuni," said Duryodhan. "He pointed out a valid thing--though Pitamah cites Yudhishthir being the eldest, the truth is that he is so biased towards Yudhishthir, we can never convince him to crown me till Yudhishthir is in the running."

Karna gaped at him. "In the running?

"We have to eliminate him," said Dussashan. "And then we have to eliminate Bheem, the second oldest. Then jyesht automatically gets the right to the throne."

"But after we go about eliminating those two, we have to remove Arjun, too," said Duryodhan harshly. "How biased Pitamah is towards Yudhishthir is nothing compared to how biased he is towards Arjun."

"And if we have removed the three, we might as well remove the twins, too. They are useless anyway. They do not have any point to live if their brothers are gone."

"L-live?" asked Karna. "How exactly do you mean to--eliminate--them?

"We must kill them in such a way that our involvement is not suspected. Otherwise, things will get unnecessarily messy."

Karna was stunned into silence for a good few minutes.

"My friend," he said finally in a voice of forced calm. "You are not seriously thinking of killing your cousins?"

Duryodhan and Dussashan stared at him like he was slow-witted.

"You cannot kill them," said Karna, horrified. "Everyone is going to know you had a hand in it, and your subjects will always mistrust you."

"Karna, we are obviously going to present it like an accident."

"No!" said Karna. "Do not do this now. Wait a few months--don't act so hastily, my friend. Pitamah is just thinking to crown Yudhishthir; it will take months, maybe a year to go about it--let the news settle down..."

"If you feel so strongly, we can give it a month or two," said Duryodhan in a contemplative manner. "But when we finally decide to act, you will help us, wouldn't you?"

Karna lowered his eyes from Duryodhan's fierce, hopeful ones.

"I promised you I--I would help you with whatever you decide to do, my friend. But this is such a coward's move, Duryodhan. It is not--right."

"And crowning Yudhishthir is, according to you, right?"

"No," said Karna.

"Of the two wrongs, which would you prefer?" asked Duryodhan quietly.

Karna hesitated, his love for his friend undergoing an intense battle against his conviction of what was right.

The former won out.

"I would prefer you to be crowned."

*******************

Just like at the end of any day that had been wearying, Karna's footsteps led him to the charioteer community a couple of miles from the palace, and to the one particular humble hut that was home.

Adhirath was hammering a peg on the door outside.

"Good evening, Father."

His father turned and studied him. Karna wished he had not sounded so gloomy. His parents were far too good at reading his expressions even without him giving himself away.

"What is plaguing you, child?" asked Adhirath.

"Nothing," said Karna firmly. "Did you hear His Excellency's announcement?"

Adhirath nodded.

"You are not happy with that, I take it?"

"Of course I am not. I do not say it just because Yuvraj Duryodhan is my friend--" said Karna, straightaway defensive at the look his father gave him. "I truly believe he will be a much better king than Yuvraj Yudhishthir. And I do not think it is very nice of Hastinapur's elders to keep favouring the Pandavas so blatantly..."

His father let him get it all out of his system before speaking.

"But do keep in mind you are not part of Hastinapur's royalty, won't you? Do not make your opinions known in public."

"Why not?" said Karna, suddenly fired up. "Why should everyone not know that my support is always behind my friend--?"

"Is that you, Karna?"

Time froze in Karna's world.

********************

It was a voice he had first heard when he was twelve, and had strayed into one of the neihgbouring houses, lost in thoughts after a particularly insulting encounter with a bunch of weapon-wielding Ksatriyas. The voice had asked him, "Are you all right?" Like the owner of the voice truly cared if he was all right or not.

It was the voice that once used to be his only guiding light when he would feel floored by the ignorance he had grown up in, when held against the way the kids of his competitor caste had. It was the voice that once used to be his only calming influence when he would give in to hatred and resentment burning down everything good inside him.

It was the voice that once used to keep him awake at nights, send him into panic with the conflict between his brain and heart, and had finally compelled him to choose his brain.

It was the voice that he had strived to leave behind when he went in search of people to teach him archery. It was the voice he had been running from for years.

Thirteen years.

And yet, every inflection of her voice was still as familiar as if it rang in his ears every day. Maybe because it did.

********************

"V-Vrushali--" Karna wondered if he sounded as edgy as he felt. "What brings you here?"

"Oh, I just dropped in to help Radha Maa with the tapestry," said Vrushali cheerfully. "I have been hoping to run into you for a while now--" 

It was startling now easily she could say something like that. Hoping to run into you...

"--but you don't spend a lot of time here anymore, do you? The palace, both Hastinapur's and Anga's, we hear, are your preferred abodes now. The real question is what brings you here?"

There was no malice in her tone as she smiled in frank delight and extended her arms. Karna almost tripped over his father's toolbox as he took a step forward to take them.

He wished his hands wouldn't shake so, for Vrushali's were quite steady.

"This is the place my parents live, you know," said Karna. "I came to, er, stay over a couple of days."

"Really?" said Vrushali. "You look rather bothered."

They were meeting after thirteen years; it must be blatantly obvious he was bothered if she could read it.

"Just...royal matters," he said.

Vrushali laughed, squeezing his hands.

"You have no idea how funny it is to think of you as a King, Karna."

Karna stiffened.

"It is not meant to be funny."

"For someone who grew up with you and stole mangoes from neighbours' trees with you, it is bound to be," said Vrushali, her eyes glittering in a way he remembered well. "Come on, now, tell me everything--how does being a king feel like?"

She had started to drag him outside before pausing.

"Oh, I am sorry--you did not even meet your mother yet," she said. "Do you--do you want me to go?"

Karna's voice unfroze.

"No! You--"

"You go and meet Radha Maa first," said Vrushali. "I will come back later. But you have to promise not to slip off without telling me again."

Karna averted his gaze from hers. 

He did it out of guilt, but she misread the gesture.

"I'm sorry for bothering you when you're already bothered." Vrushali let his hands go for a moment before Karna caught them again. "It's just--it's so unreal to have you back, Karna."

"Good--unreal?" said Karna.

They smiled into each other's eyes.

"What do you think?" she asked.

"You stay here," said Karna. "Even Radha Maa would prefer you to stay."

Chapter Text

Arjun's pov

To celebrate the impeding crowning of their jyesht, Bheem and Nakul had gathered a feast for fifty in which only ten were invited apart from the five of them and their mother: Pitamah, Uncle Vidur, Uncle Dhritarashtra, Aunt Gandhari, their Guru Dronacharya, his son and their friend Aswatthama, and three of their cousins, Vikarna, Yuyutsu and Duhsala.

Of course, they did not mention the occasion out loud. To everyone, it was ostensibly an advanced celebration of their mother's birthday. 

Yudhishthir insisted they should not hold feasts for serious and debatable occasions like crowning of heirs, but Bheem and Nakul would not listen.

"Debatable, jyesht?" scoffed Bheem. "Who in this whole kingdom would be a better king than you?"

"Maybe jyesht is anxious about Duryodhan's disappointment," said Nakul smoothly.

"Are you?" demanded Sahadev.

"No," said Yudhishthir. "I am not thinking of Duryodhan. It is just...Arjun, do you think it is right to be showing off like this? Arjun?"

"Y-yes--jyesht--" Arjun shook himself out of his stupour. "What did you say?"

His brothers gave him funny looks and explained the issue to him.

"No," said Arjun, despondently. "I do not think it is right."  

"What is wrong with you?" asked Bheem, astonished.

Yudhishthir seemed to have sensed Arjun's mood; he put an arm around his brother and led him away.

"What is it, child? What happened?"

Arjun avoided the question. He was not sure why he avoided it. He could just tell his brothers of what he had learnt. It would undoubtedly be easier to bear for the five of them than for him alone.

But not once, among the times he tried, could he speak it aloud.

Amidst the celebration and the laughter of his brothers, Arjun left the celebration and only thought of one thing.

What was he supposed to do with the knowledge that the King of Anga was their brother?

******************

The first time he saw his oldest brother knowing him to be his oldest brother, he was talking with Dussashan on the stairs, looking very serious.

Arjun searched inside himself for the irritation and part-loathing he had begun to associate with the King of Anga, and found none.

It was as if the conversation he had overheard had simply washed away all ill feelings.

How was it possible? It did not make sense. Even Duryodhan was their cousin--their family--and he had always been aware of that. That had never stopped him from loathing him. Or Dussashan.

Why should the knowledge of the King of Anga being his family be any different?

Arjun didn't quite register how he was standing like a statue in the corridor, staring at Karna and Dussashan.

It was only when the two of them stopped talking and parted ways, and Arjun caught a sight of the King of Anga's face that it dawned on him that maybe he had never loathed him at all.

**************

Karna was descending the stairs. Arjun absent-mindedly followed, lost in thought.

When he had first seen the King of Anga as a stranger, challenging him to a duel in the arena, he had been winded with the hatred the stranger seemed to harbour for him. When his identity was declared synonymous with his caste, and he had fought fearlessly against the elders of the royalty, Arjun had felt intrigued respect. When they actually got down to the duel, he had only felt admiration at his skill; the skill he had managed to acquire even if he did belong to a lower caste.

Afterwards, nothing had transpired to make him hate the King of Anga. With the possible exception of the way he had allied himself with their evil cousin. 

Yet, even Aswatthama was Duryodhan's friend. Vikarna and Yuyutsu were his brothers. Duhsala was his beloved sister.

Arjun loved all four of them. It had never mattered if they associated themselves with Duryodhan. 

There was no reason he should loathe the King of Anga.

Why had he always felt he loathed him?

Arjun hadn't noticed he had reached the foot of the stairs. He stumbled over the last step and grabbed the banister to regain balance. 

It had drawn Karna's attention. He turned around, and his expression changed into one of distaste.

Then Arjun knew why he used to think he loathed the King of Anga: it was because the King of Anga loathed him.

**********************

"What do you want?" Karna asked.

Even if it was a bit obvious that he had been following Karna, Arjun could still have lied offhandedly and got off. 

If he had wanted to, which he found he did not.

"I came to invite you to our party," Arjun heard himself saying. "If you are free--"

Karna's eyebrows flew up.

"The same party organized by you and your brothers?"

"Yes--"

"You are pathetic," said Karna with supreme scorn. "One day you will find out that pride comes before a fall."

It took Arjun longer than needed to realize what a stupid thing it had been to invite Duryodhan's best friend to a celebration of Yudhishthir's crowning.

"I did not mean to gloat--" he said hastily. "I simply meant--"

Karna waited, his stance frosty. Arjun racked his brains.

"I meant it as a gesture of goodwill," was what he came up with.

Karna's eyes narrowed. "Certainly you sound very believable, Arjun. Are you not scared if I come to your brothers' party I might talk to your mother and try to manipulate her?"

Arjun recalled the stupid way he had reacted two days back when he had found Karna talking to--their--mother. Why had he acted so stupid?

"No, you can talk to her," he said. "You can even manipulate her, if you want."

"Do your words make any sense even to yourself?" Karna demanded, before turning on his heel and striding down the stairs.

Surely, thought Arjun, he could tell Karna of the knowledge he had learnt? Surely he deserved to know?

"King of Anga--!"

Karna looked up with a sigh of long suffering.

"What?"

"I--I--dis-discovered--" Arjun's voice was hoarse with nervousness.

Karna had stopped scowling and was now looking curious.

"--that you--"

"Karna!" Duryodhan's loud voice cracked the calm of the surroundings.

Karna and Arjun turned to find him approaching them.

"What are you doing here away from your party?" Duryodhan sneered as he crossed Arjun. He reached Karna, linked their arms and led him away. "Uncle Shakuni was calling us for..."

Duryodhan noticed Karna throwing a look back at Arjun and looked baffled.

"What was he up to?" he asked.

"No idea," said Karna.

"Some of their usual nonsense, no doubt," said Duryodhan, loud enough to reach Arjun.

Karna grinned at Duryodhan. There was so much fondness in that grin that for a moment Arjun wished, in spite of how much he hated his cousin, that he was Duryodhan.

It should have been him in Duryodhan's place. Him and his brothers. It should have been them at whom their older brother looked like that.

Arjun stood in the same spot and gazed after Karna and Duryodhan's vanishing figures long after they had gone, wondering if his older brother would ever look at him like that.

He wished for it harder than he had wished for anything before. He wished for it so hard that it had to come true someday.

Chapter Text

Karna's pov

After the Pandavas' celebratory feast, quite obviously directed to insult Duryodhan, both sides were itching to pick a fight.

Well, not everyone, Karna had to admit. Yudhishthir's expression was forever wary, now, and he tried to keep an eye on Bheem at all times. Yuyutsu gave his best to get Duryodhan's mind off anger and resentment.

But two people could not really stop a brewing storm, and it came eventually the evening after the party. Karna was not sure who sought down whom, but he and Dussashan, following Duryodhan's purposeful strides, were intercepted near the stables by Bheem and Arjun with the twins right behind.

"We heard what you have been saying about jyesht to the servants and the villagers, Duryodhan," snarled Bheem.

"I meant for you to." Duryodhan casually flexed his mace.

In answer, Bheem tossed his from one hand to the other. Arjun stroked his bow, which was aimed right at Duryodhan. Dussashan twirled his spear. The twins raised their spear and sword respectively.

Karna realized that all of them were armed, even himself. From the looks of it, he was the only one who had not picked up his bow on the way with a purpose.

"Come on, then," said Arjun. "If you want a fight for honour, Bhrata Duryodhan, let us have it. Jyesht is not around to stop us."

Everyone stepped closer to the opposition. Duryodhan nodded at Karna, who, partly bemused, positioned his bow. He was the last one to raise his weapon.

Dussashan and Sahadev sparked off the fight as their spears clashed. Bheem and Duryodhan followed with thrusting their maces at each other's. Arjun made to release an arrow at Duryodhan; Karna jumped in between them, his own bowstring taut.

"I will knock Duryodhan out," roared Bheem. "Keep the King of Anga away, Arjun!"

Karna released an arrow--a trial one--that brushed past Arjun's head, and waited for his opponent to accept the challenge.

Arjun, instead, lowered his bow.

"What are you doing, Bhrata Arjun?" shouted Sahadev, who was busy parrying with the spear with Dussashan. "Disarm him--we promised ourselves we will fight to death for jyesht's sake!"

"Come on," Karna told Arjun quietly. "Our duel at the arena ended undecided. Lift your bow, Arjun."

"F-four on three isn't fair anyway," blurted out Arjun, seeming exceedingly nervous. 

"So Nakul is not fighting--Arjun, take on the King of Anga--!" grunted Bheem, exchanging blows with Duryodhan.

Karna stared, astonished, as Arjun--still--did not raise his bow. Nakul charged at Karna with his sword.

Karna shoved him out of the way and faced Arjun, fury lacing his voice.

"You are the one who declared the fight, Arjun! Dronacharya's prized disciple, if you have an ounce of competence--LIFT YOUR BOW AND DISARM ME."

Arjun made no move to lift his bow. Karna was forced to parry with Nakul, which made no sense anyway because one of them was using the bow and arrow, one the sword.

The clumsy brawl went on for about ten minutes before a stableman raised the alarm and Minister Vidur came rushing with Yudhisthir.

"STOP THIS NONSENSE AT ONCE," roared the High Minister, freezing everyone mid-action.

All seven of them were given the dressing down of a lifetime in the court in front of everyone. Arjun, the only one among them who had not wielded arms, listened to the reprimands with his head bowed like he had also done so.

If Karna was him, he would have his head bowed because he had not lifted his  weapon.

From Bheem and the twins' looks, they felt the same. Arjun did not raise his head at all.

The only time he did, he met Karna's eyes briefly. Karna put all the contempt he felt into his gaze.

Arjun looked away without returning the contempt.

What on earth was going on?

******************

After he had reached Anga and taken to his duties with graver seriousness than usual due to his long absence, he had a strange sort of day.

He listened to the finance ministers' report. He met with a dozen subjects who had requested aid. He attended to two separate royal meetings.

But his thoughts kept going, by turn, to Arjun's unexpected behaviour and then to Vrushali's smile. 

He could not stop pondering over one without starting on the other. He did not know which was worse. One was an enemy, the other was his most lethal distraction.

Arjun, he decided finally. Wasting thoughts on that Arjun is worse.

But at least thinking of Arjun did not make him feel like a helpless idiot as with Vrushali.

Before dawn had arrived, Karna had given in to the impulse.

He was racing on horseback from Anga to Hastinapur, wishing his horse could go faster even when it was going at breakneck speed.

******************

Karna found his way to Vrushali's family's house easily in the dark. He would have found it in his sleep, given the number of times he had visited it once upon a time in his childhood.

He glanced up at the sky. It would not be decent to knock at the door till at least a couple of hours past sunrise.

Even then, he wondered if it would be decent.

A buried memory stirred inside him. 

He knelt down on the ground to grope for pebbles. When he had a handful, he looked up at the window facing west. The family would certainly not have altered their arrangement of rooms.

Karna poised his arm to aim at the window. Something--a barrier--a filter--a shield--arrested his arm.

The shield, he realized, that had grown the day he left this place, thirteen years ago...this community...to hunt for a teacher, knowing most teachers would not be willing to teach someone of his caste. He could have have survived in that world without the shield.

But back in his childhood home, yearning to win back his childhood friend, he had to break off the shield.

So long as he was here, he would not need it.

******************

Vrushali appeared at the window after the third pebble hit the pane. Her hair was extraordinarily messy from bed; she was rubbing her eyes as she peered down. Her eyes finally fell on him, and widened.

"Karna?" 

"Morning, Vrush," said Karna.

"What do you--are you crazy?"

"Can you come down?"

"It is not morning," Vrushali called down. "It is the middle of the night."

"It is hardly half an hour to sunrise."

"If you say so," she said in a tone that plainly said she did not believe him, and her face disappeared from the window.

A minute later, she was out in the yard.

Karna's cheeks hurt from smiling so wide. He only realized he was staring when Vrushali spoke.

"State your intention!"

"Oh," said Karna, before managing to say, albeit bashfully, "Do you want to come and see my palace at Anga?"

"Now?"

"Yes--it will take a few hours of journey--we will get there before noon--"

Vrushali studied him.

"What?" said Karna nervously. "You can ride on horseback, can't you?"

"I am a charioteer's daughter," said Vrushali.

"What is the matter, then?"

"You stay away thirteen years," she said reflective tone. "You don't visit a single time. Even when you are here at your parents' place..."

Karna's cheeks had started to burn.

"Then you turn up in the middle of the night two days after we meet." 

He wished he had an answer. Even a false excuse would do. But he ought to have had some answer before he rode to Hastinapur tonight.

He did not. 

"Someday, Karna, I am going to figure you out." Vrushali offered him a hand. "Now where is your horse?"

Chapter Text

Arjun's pov

The telling-off they had received from Bhisma, Vidur and Dhritarashtra in the court was nothing compared to when they returned to their quarters, Yudhishthir's calm breathing ominous of something tremendous coming their way.

"You four," he said, when he had closed the door. "You took up arms against them."

His brothers shifted uneasily.

"Sit," ordered Yudhishthir.

There was a great bustle for the divan the farthest from their eldest brother. Nakul went a step further and sat directly behind Bheem's enormous body so that he was entirely hidden from view. 

Yudhishthir was having none of it.

"Nakul! Come and sit here--" He waved him over to an armchair beside him. 

Arjun and Sahadev's chortle died in their throat as Yudhishthir started speaking.

"Did I, or did I not tell you explicitly not to pick up a fight with Duryodhan and the others, particularly in the light of Pitamah's announcement? I will give you this: I forbade you from a verbal fight. Never did I imagine you would attack with arms, so it did not occur me to forbid that.

"Bheem, Arjun--I am ashamed of the two of you. You know Nakul and Sahadev would follow your lead in my absence--do you not realize the responsibility it brings? What were you thinking? And why were you moving inside the palace with weapons, anyway? Did you plan it all?"

At the unmistakable guilt on their faces, Yudhishthir gave a deep sigh.

"Yes, we planned it, jyesht," said Bheem like an idiot as usual. Arjun nudged him harshly; but again, like an idiot, he ignored the warning. "Do you know what Duryodhan and Dussashan have been spreading around about you? They made up a whole story of what happened when he attacked Panchal to take King Drupad captive--it makes you out not only as a coward, but also--"

"I am aware of it," said Yudhishthir coldly. "But what on earth does that asinine story of theirs have to do with your disgraceful behaviour?" 

"We were defending your honour, jyesht!" said Bheem loudly.

"Yes, jyesht--" "We did it for you--" the twins echoed.

Yudhishthir's eyes flashed.

"If, in the future, I need my honour defended, I would certainly let you know."

"Jyesht, you would take all insults lying down," said Arjun, quite forgetting he had been thinking of Bheem as an idiot two minutes back. "We have to do something about it--"

"You!" said Bheem scornfully. "You!"

"What?" Yudhishthir said sharply.

"If you reprimand anyone, it should be Arjun, jyesht," complained Bheem. "He refused to lift his bow like a coward."

Arjun's face felt uncomfortably hot.

"You did not lift your bow?" Yudhishthir asked him.

"No," mumbled Arjun.

Yudhishthir turned on Bheem. "And you are saying I should reprimand Arjun for being the only one who acted sensibly, Bheem? I am proud of you, Arjun. Henceforth, do try to stop your brothers from acting like morons, too." He smiled at Arjun, who felt worse, and turned to the other three. "In my absence, all of you are to listen to what Arjun says--yes, even you, Bheem."

"Jyesht!" they protested indignantly.

"That is not fair! Arjun was part of our plot, too!" yelled Bheem.

"Bhrata Arjun was the one who challenged Duryodhan to the fight," yelled the twins.

When Arjun did not push his innocence, Yudhishthir gave him a 'and here I was thinking of trusting you' sort of look, and sighed again. 

"What exactly did happen?"

The story was narrated for his benefit.

Bheem ended with it shoving Arjun in the ribs and saying, "So the fool would have shot Duryodhan, who is my prey anyway, and surrendered without fighting to his own prey, the King of Anga."

"Stop calling them preys," said Yudhishthir drily.

"Why should we attack the King of Anga, Bhrata Bheem?" Arjun demanded. "It was Bhrata Duryodhan and Dussashan who spread around the story. Are we to attack all their brothers and friends for what they do?"

"No, Bhrata Arjun," said Nakul in his special sickly sweet tone. "Not all of them. Only the King of Anga is every bit a part of the plots as Bhrata Duryodhan and Dussashan." 

"But the King of Anga has never done anything to us!"

"Never done anything to us?" roared Bheem. "He is waiting to, isn't he? Look!" He rushed to Nakul and lifted his arm, which had a cut down it. "Look--he drew your little brother's blood!"

"Er, Bhrata Bheem," put in Nakul. "That wasn't him, actually. I bumped into some furniture earlier--"

Bheem sniffed in disgust.

"A mirror, I'll warrant." He turned back to Arjun. "You are only insulting jyesht if you back off in front of the King of Anga, Arjun, why can't you--"

"No, he is not." Yudhishthir came up to Arjun to put a hand on his head. "I think you did quite the right thing, child. All the same, if you were ready to shoot at Duryodhan, you must have had some reasoning behind not fighting the King of Anga--won't you tell us what it is?"

Everyone waited, gazing at him avidly.

Arjun avoided their eyes. Yudhishthir had put his arm around him. Even Bheem, Nakul and Sahadev appeared to have got rid of their annoyance.

Opportunities would not come easier than this. 

Why could he not tell them? His own brothers?

"It is nothing apart from that I think there is no reason for us to make an enemy of the King of Anga, jyesht--"

Jyesht.

His jyesht was not technically his jyesht.

The realization was incapacitating.

"He already is an enemy," said Sahadev in a despairing tone. "It's his life's aim to defeat and humiliate you, Bhrata Arjun--you cannot just--"

"All right," said Yudhishthir. "Could you three leave us for a while, please?"

The gravity of his voice meant Bheem and the twins left silently. Arjun looked at his brother apprehensively, his brain working overtime about how he was to keep defending himself.

But his brother did not ask him to defend himself. 

Yudhishthir simply pulled Arjun closer to him and stroked his forehead and hair in silence the way he used to do twenty years ago in the forest when they had just lost their father and the two of them would be alone while Bheem hunted for berries and their mother pacified the bawling twins.

No matter what surfaced, he would always be their jyesht.

Arjun felt at peace for the first time since he learnt of his mother's secret.

*****************

Eventually, after calming Arjun down, Yudhishthir understandably wanted to know what was bothering him. Bheem, Nakul and Sahadev were back at some point, shooting dark looks. 

Arjun decided to escape the palace for the day.

He set out with the intention of simply scouting the villages of Hastinapur's borders. But he found himself going much further, so much further, that at some point, he realized he had long since left his city behind and was halfway to Anga.

Was that where his feet were trying to take him?

Since the oppressive knowledge was killing him from inside, and he could not confide in his brothers--the ones he had grown up with--the only other person was his oldest brother--who he had not grown up with.

It might be less daunting to tell him.

And he had to tell someone now.

********************

At the palace gates of Anga, Arjun hesitated. What was he supposed to tell the guards?

He imagined Karna's reaction when he was told 'Prince Arjun wishes to meet you.' It was so ironical, it was funny.

"Your purpose, sir?" a guard asked.

Arjun wondered if he should make up a fake name. The guards looked at him all funny. He supposed resignedly that he looked as lost as he felt.

A woman, not dressed in royal clothes, but not looking like a servant either, came up.

"Prince Arjun," she hailed. "What brings you here?"

Arjun stared at her, startled.

"Sorry, I did not introduce myself. I'm Vrushali," she said. "A friend of the King's from childhood."

"How do you--" said Arjun awkwardly.

"Know you?" Vrushali smiled. "I am a citizen of Hastinapur. Certainly I am expected to know its princes, especially its favourite one."

Arjun did not know what to say. He had no idea why a friend of Karna's would speak to him in such a normal manner.

Possibly she did not know of their rivalry...

"So what brings you here?" she asked again.

Arjun started. 

"I--I wanted to--speak to the King of Anga."

Vrushali looked intrigued.

"I was under the impression you and your brothers are not very fond of him?"

Well, in that case, she knew, and was still being nice.

How strange.

"I don't suppose so," he muttered. "But I wish to change that."

"That's encouraging," said Vrushali. "I am always in favour of ending enmities than harbouring them. I will see to it that Karna does not pose a resistance to your endeavour."

Arjun looked up, ungrudging respect for this woman emerging inside him. She gave off the impression of being as wise and kind as his mother and Aunt Gandhari. 

"Thank you, er, My Lady," he stammered.

Vrushali looked like she was trying not to laugh.

"Oh, I am not royalty, Prince Arjun--'Di' would do. Won't you come inside?"

Chapter Text

Karna's pov

Karna strode out of the palace; he had tried to get the meeting with the ministers as fast as he could, since Vrushali was waiting outside, and he had promised her a tour of Anga.

He was faced with a baffling and most displeasing scene: Vrushali was talking to, of all people, Arjun. Why would Arjun be in Anga? What was he up to now? 

Vrushali came over when he spotted Karna. Arjun waited in the background; Karna gave him a glare before turning to Vrushali.

"You--you know Arjun?" he demanded.

"He's a friend of mine," said Vrushali with an easygoing smile.

Karna immediately felt his posture going rigid.

"I did not know," he said stiffly.

"Well, it is not like he has been my friend for very long, but he is now."

Karna didn't quite like the teasing tone she used.

"What the devil is he doing here, anyway?" he demanded. "What does he want?"

"He simply came to meet you," said Vrushali.

"Yes, I suppose I had better listened to his stand." 

Karna had started in Arjun's direction, but a hand on his arm yanked him back. He looked around in surprise to find Vrushali wearing a serious expression.

"He came to meet you," she said. "Not to make a stand."

"Obviously the meeting must have some underlying purpose to do with politics, Vrusha--"

"Why must it? Why can he not simply pay Anga a visit like I did?"

"V-v-visit Anga like--like you did," spluttered Karna in disbelief. "He--he is not even--he is Duryodhan's rival--he is my rival--"

"Why," demanded Vrushali, "are you stammering?"

Karna steadied himself, and found himself grinning every so slightly.

"The idea of you and Arjun visiting Anga with the same nature of intentions," he said lightly. "You are too naive, Vrushali. You do not know what goes on in the heads of Princes."

"And Kings?" asked Vrushali quietly. "Do you always think of politics, my friend?"

Dumbfounded, Karna groped for an answer.

"N-no--obviously--that was not what I meant--but..." He drew himself up and shot Arjun another ugly look to bring back his arguments. "I do not think of politics when I am with my parents, or Duryodhan, or you. But if I am with the Pandava brothers, I would most definitely always think of politics."

"Then it is your loss," Vrushali's voice rang out loudly, "if you insist on making enemies of nice people like Prince Arjun and his brothers."

"Nice?" said Karna in a feeble voice.

"What have they ever done to you? Give me one instance, Karna."

"In the arena." Karna scowled. "They made it clear they think our birth makes us lesser than them."

"All of them?" asked Vrushali softly.

Karna opened his mouth to say 'yes.' Then he hesitated.

"I was there, you know," said Vrushali. "I watched it all. Did Prince Arjun mock your birth? Did Prince Yudhishthir?"

"No," said Karna in a resentful mutter.

"So, if they extend you a hand of friendship, ought you not to accept it?"

What could he reply to something so stupid and naïve and ignorant? 

But he did not want to fall out with Vrushali--it was the last thing he wanted. He was ready to do anything to retain her friendship. He figured there was no harm in humouring her.

"You are right," he said. "I should trust in someone everyone including myself believes to be my rival; he must certainly have come to extend to me a hand of friendship without any ulterior motives."

From Vrushali's expression, he had sounded more sarcastic than he had meant to.

"Come on, then. You promised me a tour of Anga. Let us take Arjun along."

Which was not, at all, what Karna had envisioned when he promised her a tour of Anga. He took a deep, calming breath before following her.

********************

"Good evening, King of Anga," said Arjun.

"Good evening," said Karna brusquely. "If you have something to say which you plan for after the tour of Anga, say it now."

"But I don't have anything particular to say," said Arjun, before adding, "Except that Anga is a changed city since you became its King--we visited it several times when we were at the gurukul, it was never so nice before."

"What?" said Karna, mystified.

"You know," said Arjun helpfully. "Your kingdom. Your people are content. The city is flourishing. It was very different earlier. I expect your subjects are grateful to Bhrata Duryodhan for making you their King."

Karna got the disconcerting feeling that Arjun was trying to win his approval. Why would he do that, unless he was setting him up for something?

But the smile that accompanied his words was so innocuous, it was difficult to believe he had an underhand motive.

How the hell did he do that? Manipulate people so innocently that no one would guess, unless they knew beforehand it was manipulation? When Uncle Shakuni manipulated Duryodhan, everyone could clearly see it was manipulation. But this Arjun...

No wonder everyone favoured him. Bhisma, Vidur, Dronacharya. Karna shook his head. Even Duhsala was fondest of Arjun among her brothers, something Duryodhan was wild with rage about.

"Yes, isn't it?" Vrushali said, also grinning. "But all the same, it is generous of you to admit that, Prince Arjun."

"Why?" asked Karna instantly.

"Er," said Arjun. "I expect Di said that because Duryodhan made you King of Anga to facilitate you to fight me."

"Precisely," said Vrushali solemnly.

Karna fell a step behind his friend and his enemy walking together like they were thick as thieves.

He had been thinking of Bhisma and Dronacharya.

Now, look at Vrushali. Just look at her. She looked at and spoke to Arjun with as much affection as one would do with a younger brother.

Arjun even called her Di.

He was so smart that--

"What is wrong with you?" Vrushali asked and pulled him ahead alongside them. "You are the guide, aren't you? Take us somewhere nice in your kingdom."

"Take us to a mountain," suggested Arjun.

"There are no mountains in my kingdom," said Karna primly.

"No mountain?" said Arjun, sounding shocked.

Karna tried and failed to keep his scowl in place.

That innocent smile of Arjun's was at the root of it all, he resolved.

The tour was not as bad as he had expected. It was not bad at all.

What was the world coming to if he could not scowl when in conversation with Arjun?

*********************

A couple of times during his ride to drop Vrushali in Hastinapur, Karna wondered if she was on the Pandavas's side--if it was all a very elaborate conspiracy he was falling for.

 But he could not, truly, make himself believe it. 

Vrushali was not underhand. She would never let herself be used as a tool in politics.

Something about being with Vrushali made him wish to be good, too... And his mind inevitably turned to what Duryodhan was planning for the Pandavas in Varanavat.

Outside the charioteer's community, they stopped. Vrushali jumped off her horse nimbly.

Charioteers' daughters were, at any rate, more competent by far than princesses, thought Karna defiantly.

"Would you be returning to Anga straightaway?" she asked him.

"No, I need to talk to Duryodhan."

"Oh, you're coming up to the palace?" said Arjun brightly, at which Vrushali looked just as bright.

Which, of course, meant that Karna had to ride to the palace alongside Arjun. It was annoying, but could hardly be helped. 

Neither of them spoke over the journey. But Karna did not feel waves of animosity between them as he felt normally. It was difficult to feel hostility towards someone who showed none in return.

In the palace, Arjun gave him an unobtrusive smile as they parted. Karna was too suspicious to return it, but his companion seemed to have expected it, because he did not appear surprised.

Karna headed for Duryodhan's room.

*********************

"Scrap the plan of Varanavat, my friend."

Duryodhan rolled his eyes pointedly.

"How long are you going to go on about this, Karna?"

"I have a much better plan," said Karna. "Endeavour to win the love of the kingdom's people instead, Duryodhan. Everyone says Hastinapur's throne goes to the deserved, not to the oldest. If the subjects want you to be King, you will eventually be the King."

"Yudhishthir has already won them over by his dharma nonsense!"

"Dharma is not nonsense," protested Karna, glad for Shakuni's absence.

Duryodhan scowled.

Karna could not bear to see disappointment in his friend's face. 

Though he did not wish to say it, he added quietly, "If you have won their love and devotion by the effort of years, even if the deception at Varanavat is carried out, they would be less likely to believe you had a hand in it."

A glimmer of cheer returned to Duryodhan's posture. Karna inexplicably felt like he was being unfaithful to Vrushali.

But he was being faithful to his friend--and that would have to be enough. 

Chapter Text

Arjun's pov

The following six months was the strangest half-year in Arjun's life.

Undoubtedly the most difficult task he had ever undertaken, the continued efforts to win a tiny fraction of the love his oldest brother had for his most hated cousin was in equal parts frustrating and rewarding. With Duryodhan no doubt pouring poison into Karna's ears, the latter was always more skeptic than Arjun thought necessary, but he persisted with doggedness. Vruashali's support was the only thing that helped him along.

It would be entirely frustrating if not for the tiny moments of victory which made a fortnight of coldness worth it.

The first of those had been a few months ago. Duryodhan made it a point to steer Karna away with whatever trivial and nonsensical reason he could come up with whenever he found Arjun talking to him. Karna always obeyed wordlessly, till one day Arjun had followed Karna (which he did a lot in the palace enclosure, but it was the first time he'd followed him outside Hastinapur) to one of the villages outside with a gurukul.

To Arjun's delight, they ended up in the zone where the children were being taught shooting their first targets. Spying on kids learning archery in the primary years of their life was one of his favourite ways to spend time, too, so he figured there was no harm in declaring himself.

Arjun slipped up to stand beside Karna, who turned. His brow automatically creased.

"What are you doing here?" he asked suspiciously.

"The same thing as you, I suppose," said Arjun. "Watching the kids."

"Right," said Karna with a snort. "I do not believe in coincidences, Arjun, that we may have stumbled upon the same gurukul in the same remote village by chance. What do you want?"

"You always ask that," said Arjun, sounding a bit nettled in spite of trying not to.

"Of course I always ask that." Karna frowned. "I want to know what you have been up to for the past three months."

Arjun was struck with a realization. "That is more than the duration of time we had been enemies, King of Anga. Why would you not drop the suspicion? If I was up to something, would you not already have known?"

"We have been enemies for much longer than three months." Karna's frown deepened as he turned back to the kids with the finality of ending the conversation.

Arjun could not concentrate on watching the kids, which normally he did with as much dedication as if it was his own seven-year-old self.

"Not from my side," he said. "I did not consider us enemies except for the three months, and I still do not. Honestly--I'm sorry if I ever did anything to you, I'm sure I did not mean it because I don't even remember what I did or when I did it--but--"

"What is your point, Arjun?" said Karna with a sigh.

"I want to know why you consider us enemies," said Arjun quickly.

"Because you are Guru Drona's disciple and as arrogant in your skill as he is in his teaching."

"King of Anga," said Arjun with dignity. "Do not pretend you are not arrogant in your skill as well."

"I did not get it handed to me on a golden platter like you did!"

"But you did get a great teacher," said Arjun, making what seemed like a very reasonable point to him. "Lord Parshuram is even Guru Drona's teacher."

He took Karna's silence to be concession.

"That point of yours was invalid," Arjun pressed. "Why do you consider us enemies?"

"Because you and your brothers are the bane of Duryodhan's existence," said Karna.

"But--"

It was Arjun who conceded this time, stumped. One corner of Karna's mouth lifted; his eyes glittered. Arjun could not tell if it was in mockery or in amusement.

They lapsed back into silence. Arjun glanced at his companion gazing unblinkingly at the children's hit and trial with their arrows, their teachers' praises and reprimands.

Would you look beyond Duryodhan's hatred if you knew we are brothers, jyesht?

Arjun pressed his hands together to practically cut off the blood flow and took the deepest breath he had ever taken, till his lungs were bursting.

"King of Anga--"

"I have been looking all over the place for you, Karna," the ugliest and most unwelcome voice in the world broke in.

Arjun glared at Duryodhan. His cousin returned it in kind and put a possessive arm around Karna, who looked uncomfortable.

"Are you coming, my friend?" he asked Karna fiercely.

"Yeah--I had just come to watch the kids--come on--"

Duryodhan propelled him away. Arjun ground his teeth, hatred crashing through him.

But then, Karna turned and gave him the first voluntary grin he had ever given him.

It was an amused and comradely grin, and even if it had only one percent of the warmth it would have if it had been directed at Duryodhan, Arjun felt giddy.

It was too late when he realized he should return it, and Karna and Duryodhan were already disappearing around the bend in the road.

But afterwards, Arjun beamed for the whole day, at his brothers, at the horses, at the walls, at thin air.

Jyesht smiled at me.

********************

Apart from trying to break through the King of Anga's constant skepticism and battle Duryodhan's constant interference, there was the matter of Arjun's own brothers' constant questioning.

The longer he had kept the secret from them, the harder it had become to tell them. So, to them, Arjun was going out of his way to be friendly to someone who had only ever hated him.

Yudhishthir was not so bad about it; he was (or at least pretended to be) pleased with Arjun's stance and was pretty decent to Karna himself, and encouraged the other three to be, too. Nakul, easygoing as ever, accepted the shift fairly quickly.

"I dunno what you are playing at, Bhrata Arjun," he said. "But I trust you have some other wordly scheme in place."

"I have no scheme," said Arjun indignantly, because this was what Karna himself believed, and he did not want him to believe.

"Not necessarily a cold-blooded one," assured Nakul.

After which he was decent to Karna, too.

In return, Karna was decent to the two of them. Arjun tried not to feel resentful that all their jyesht's stubborn enmity was directed only at him--but it's only because we are both archers and Gurudev says I am his best disciple, he comforted himself.

Sometimes he could convince himself. Sometimes, he couldn't.

It was a different matter with Bheem--who openly declared he would never forgive the King of Anga for insulting Arjun and Dronacharya in the arena, and Sahadev--who said he had a bad premonition about the entire thing.

"You and your premonitions!" was Nakul's way of looking at things.

********************

There was only one time Arjun screwed up the courage to bring up the topic of Karna to Kunti.

He had never felt so nervous talking to his mother.

"You were right about the King of Anga, Maa. He is a very nice person. I don't consider him an enemy anymore."

Kunti smiled. "Yes, I noticed. I knew you would realize eventually he is not what you five used to perceive him because he is Duryodhan's friend."

"He isn't like Duryodhan in the least. In fact, I don't think--" Arjun gauged his mother's expression carefully. "--he is all that different from us."

"He isn't," said Kunti.

Her eyes softened and she pulled Arjun into her arms, but she did not tell him the truth.

Did she never wish to pull her firstborn into her arms, too?

Chapter Text

Karna's pov

"You are just in time, my friend--we are heading west," was what Duryodhan greeted Karna with when he arrived in the palace for the celebration of the end of one of Queen Gandhari's meditations.

"Are we setting up more charity camps?" asked Karna. "It is a good occasion, too, owing to the Queen Mother's celebration."

"Yes." Duryodhan consulted a scroll. "Today will mark our seven hundredth charity camp in two months."

"You are keeping count?" said Karna in amusement.

"Of course I am," said Duryodhan, frowning. "We have covered three fourths of our targeted regions... By the time Pitamah is ready to crown Yudhishthir and we send them to Varanavat, we would have won over the entire kingdom."

An unpleasant weight dropped in Karna's stomach. 

Duryodhan and his brothers, with his help, had thrown themselves into charity over the past few months. Karna had been bursting with pride at his friend's good deeds; he had, out of pride and love, also spread stories of his friend's generosity far and wide.

He had not considered it was being carried out with a purpose in mind.

"What, you forgot your own idea?" Duryodhan slapped him on the shoulder and laughed. "No one will hold us in suspicion anymore. We are becoming as much their favourite as Yudhishthir and Arjun."

"No, I remember," said Karna in a rather hollow voice. "Of course you have become their favourite--why wouldn't you?"

Pleased, Duryodhan linked his arm with Karna's as they headed downstairs to join the group setting off.

*******************

They returned two weeks later from the kingdoms to the west. It had been a productive one. The grateful and devoted chants of their subjects still rang in Karna's ears.

'Long live, Prince Duryodhan! Long live, Prince Dussashan! Long live, King of Anga!'

He tried to keep it in a separate chamber in his brain from the plot of the house of lacquer, because charity must never be defiled with selfish motives--otherwise how could you even call it charity?

It had been difficult to keep them separate, however, when he had travelled and lived with Uncle Shakuni, Duryodhan and Dussashan. The more love they garnered, the wider their grins got and the more intense their discussions of the future of the Pandavas.

Duryodhan would comment light-heartedly on Karna's silence, till one day it blew out of proportion.

"Look, I love you for your dharma, my friend. But you have got to grow up someday."

"Grow up?" echoed Karna. "Should growing up not be accompanied with kinder acts than those of childhood? Children often act without being aware of the consequences; they deserve to be forgiven for their mistakes. But grown ups--especially the royalty, who hold the welfare of their subjects in their hands--they cannot be forgiven for cruel acts."

Duryodhan sounded nettled. "Are you saying Yudhishthir would be a better king than me, Karna?"

"No!" said Karna vehemently. "I do not think so--but as I have told you a million times, I hate this idea."

"You have got fond of that Arjun, have you not?" said Duryodhan, his eyes narrowed in accusation. "I have seen how you go out with him--I have seen you two training those kids together."

"When," demanded Karna, "have I trained kids with Arjun? I only have to go out with him sometimes because Vrushali insists."

"Why does bhabi favour Arjun so much?"

"Will you stop calling her bhabi!"

Uncle Shakuni intervened. "Growing up should be accompanied with not fighting like ten year olds, my children."

Dussashan sniggered. Duryodhan glared at him. Karna glared at the carpet on the tent.

"It should also be accompanied with snatching victories from the jaws of defeat, my children. See if we do not accomplish that."

The discussion was dropped, but Duryodhan and Karna had both been silent for the rest of the evening. Karna knew his friend did not like arguing with him any more than he did. Duryodhan did not bring up the topic of Varanavat in Karna's hearing any longer, but the latter was quite sure they discussed it in his absence.

He just wished he would be able to put a stop to this insane idea in time.

********************

Karna hoped Vrushali would be awake, though it was late. He went one step further and wished she would be up specifically since word would have reached her that their procession was returning that night.

Technically, they were expected to be giving a report to the King and Queen of their journey, which was where Duryodhan and his brothers had gone. But Karna badly wanted to go and meet Vrushali, even if it was for a few minutes, before joining in the meeting.

When he was sneaking out of the palace gates, a shadow detached itself from a tree and joined him, hailing in Arjun's incorrigibly cheerful voice, "Welcome back, King of Anga!"

"For the devil's sake, keep your voice down! What were you doing there in the dark?"

"Are you going to Di's place? I thought you would."

"I am," said Karna. "You are not."

"She told me to bring you along, no matter how late you returned," returned Arjun, following Karna down the streets.

"I would have gone anyway," said Karna, annoyed. "You go back to the palace. I will tell her I found my way without your help."

Arjun ignored him and continued walking along cheerfully. Karna caught his arm and yanked him back.

"Arjun, will you go back!"

"I won't intrude upon your time with Di," said Arjun promptly. "But what is your problem if I keep you company in the walk to the charioteer's community? It's quite a long journey, you know. It will also be quite boring."

Karna snorted.

"I simply cannot comprehend how anyone can be so nosy," he muttered audibly.

"Well, you were away a long time," said Arjun in a reasonable sort of voice. "I want to know what you all did over the visit. How many villages did you aid?"

"Thirty five..."

Arjun waited.

Karna resignedly obliged with an account of their fortnight, keeping aside the frequent discussions on the plot of Varanavat. Arjun asked a dozen questions a minute; his curiosity was so insatiable it was annoying. But there was hardly any choice for Karna but to answer all his questions.

When they reached their destination, Vrushali was waiting at the porch in the moonlight. Karna's breath caught in his throat.

Two weeks without seeing her was too much.

He must take care to shorten their charity camp journeys.

"Greetings, Di!" called Arjun.

Vrushali gave them both with a welcoming smile and a hug each. "You're horribly late."

"He returned just about an hour ago," said Arjun. "Good night, I'll be off then."

Vrushali protested instantly. "What for? Don't go back right away--"

Karna resisted the urge to swear under his breath. 

"No, Di, I must get back immediately," said Arjun. "Uncle is holding a meeting in which we are all commanded to attend. It is bad enough that the King of Anga is skipping it, but he must have found it worth risking."

He waved at Vrushali, winked suggestively at Karna and disappeared into the dark.

"Wasn't it nice of him to accompany you here?" said Vrushali.

"I do not think it was nice of him," said Karna. "I wish he would leave me alone."

"Do you really?" mused Vrushali. "Come inside, I made kheer for you."

"You?" said Karna in disbelief.

"Well, I helped Mother make it..." said Vrushali defensively.

"By holding the containers and stroking the fire?"

"Someone has to do that, you know!'

Laughing, they went inside.

Chapter Text

Arjun's pov

In the Kuru family dinner on New Year's Eve, the guest entertainers were singing praises of the dynasty. The elders listened in silence; the Pandavas and Kauravas threw dirty looks at each other; everything was normal.

Then one of them moved on to praising their soon to be Crown Prince Yudhishthir, and of course Duryodhan felt the need to interrupt the peace, though it was normal, too.

"Not all things about us is perfect," he said. "Our royal teacher, for example, often fails at one of the basic requirements of a teacher--impartiality."

Now, Dronacharya was not present; Duryodhan would not have dared to say this if he had, the coward, thought Arjun angrily. But he could not bear any insult thrown at his guru, and ignoring Yudhishthir's murmured, "Ignore it," he answered back in his rudest tone.

"Don't you think it is hypocrisy to learn your knowledge from someone and then go around trash-talking him, Bhrata Duryodhan?"

"Yes, we expected you to jump to his defense," Dussashan assured.

"True hypocrisy would be if you did not grovel at gurudev's feet after how much he has favoured you," said Duryodhan.

"Has it ever occurred to you that gurudev favours Bhrata Arjun for a reason?" snarled Sahadev.

"Because he is a high born who can wield the bow?" Karna asked. "What a great achievement on his part."

The Kauravas roared their approval. Arjun couldn't help feeling a stab of disappointment, though he could not truly expect Karna to pass on an opportunity like that.

"No, Karna," said Duryodhan, laughing. "His real achievement is convincing gurudev to cut off the thumbs of his competitors. He created his own playground."

So far, the elders had been pretending to turn a deaf ear to their cracks, but at the last statement, Kunti looked around sharply. It dawned on Arjun that he had never told Ekalavya's story to her, and that he probably should have.

But during that time, they had been at the gurukul, and all of his overflowing horror and sorrow at the incident, he had cried out in his jyesht's arms. By the time they had returned to their mother, years had passed, and he had never thought to mention it to her.

"What is he saying?" Kunti asked.

"Nothing but lies, Maa," said Bheem loudly. "Have you ever heard him or his brothers say anything but lies?"

Duryodhan smirked. "Aunt--you do not know what happened?"

"Duryodhan," said Yudhishthir quietly. "You cannot pin a sin on Arjun he did not commit and you have no right to defame our gurudev in public. Stay within your limits."

"I am not defaming anyone, I am simply narrating a story for my Aunt's benefit." Duryodhan narrated his version of the story--which of course, included Arjun demanding Ekalavya's thumb to be cut off--in a distinct voice, and had now commanded the attention of everyone. Then he looked from Arjun to Yudhishthir. "If Arjun indeed did not commit the sin, jyesht, why has he kept it from his mother, anyway?"

Arjun was so furious he was shaking. 

Yudhishthir set his jaw.

"That is not what happened, Maa," he said. "Bheem, Arjun, Nakul, Sahadev--come on, we are not bound to stay here. If we have your leave, Pitamah, we are going on a journey to begin the New Year on a good note."

Bhisma was only too glad to grant them leave.

"What journey?" asked Bheem, flexing his fingers as he studied Duryodhan. "We are going on a journey?"

"Yes," said Yudhishthir. "It would be better to spend our time more usefully than this--Come on, you four...Maa, will you stay here? I expect we'd return soon."

Kunti nodded and went forward to draw her sons in a collective embrace. Arjun tried to hang back, he was so annoyed, but his mother was having none of that.

Arjun gave Duryodhan his ugliest glare before they left.

*********************

It was not a pleasant journey. Arjun knew it was he who was making it unpleasant, but he could not help it. He was so angry he could hardly think straight.

"You have reseen the King of Anga's true colours, have you not, Bhrata Arjun?" Sahadev asked. "Stay away from Duryodhan and his friends is what we have always told you."

"Well, it was not the King of Anga spouting all that nonsense," said Arjun, suddenly defensive.

Bheem, Nakul and Sahadev all asked him what was wrong with him.

Arjun stalked ahead of them. Yudhishthir must have stopped them from bugging him further.

They stopped for a bite around noon the following day, when they were crossing Panchal. It was ruled by King Drupad, an old-time enemy of Dronacharya. Shortly before their graduation ceremony at the arena, Dronacharya had sent his students to capture King Drupad.

The Kauavas had failed spectacularly. After all those stuff about birth being his biggest achievement, what would Karna say when he got to know how spectacularly his precious friend had failed? thought Arjun viciously. He was as hung up on righteousness as Yudhishthir. What would he say when he got to know Duryodhan had tried to poison Bheem to death when they were teenagers?

Make excuses, he supposed. Just like his other jyesht did.

He was just a kid. He got carried away.

Arjun clenched his fists.

"We have got to get out this city quick," said Bheem, who had gone out to scout for eateries. "All places to eat are shut down; turns out it's the Princess' swayamvar today."

"On New Year's Day?" commented Nakul irrelevantly.

"They must consider it good luck," his twin countered. "No places to eat then, Bhrata Bheem? How are you going to survive the journey to the next town?"

"This is the worst New Year ever," grumbled Bheem.

Then Nakul settled down on a low wall and claimed he absolutely could not go on without resting a while--no, not even for the sake of getting to an eatery faster. Bheem made fifty cracks at him about fake, impotent warriors who got tired after a mere ten hours of walking, Sahadev joined in in taking cracks at them both, and Yudhishthir tried to break up the arguement.

Normally Arjun would also be taking cracks at Bheem, making sure to keep out of his reach, but today their stupid arguement maddened him further. Seeing that his brothers were about to be engaged thus for at least an hour or more, Arjun stalked off.

"Don't wander off too far," Yudhishthir called after him.

******************

Arjun did not need to wander off too far. In the silent city of Panchal, where everyone must have gone to attend the swayamvar, he found an enclosure with hanging targets that was probably a deserted gurukul. He positioned his bow and shot an arrow to one of the targets, imagining it to be Duryodhan's smug head.

It was satisfying.

He shot again, and again. One of these days, he would wipe that smug smile on Duryodhan's face forever.

"Heavens!" a voice said. "Who on earth are you pretending to shoot at with such vengeance?"

Arjun started and turned. It was a stranger who had spoken--tall, dressed like royalty with a most unusual ornament--a peacock feather on his head.

The sight of him unaccountably made Arjun feel calm.

"I was only shooting at a target, Prince," he said in a formal tone, and turned back to the target.

"An archer of your calibre," mused the stranger, "would never approach an easy, static target with this fire. He must indeed have someone he hates in his mind."

"What is your problem, if I have?" said Arjun brusquely.

"Ah, merely making conversation," said his companion cheerfully. "I don't suppose you are in the mood to exchange pleasantries? Like, say, names?"

"No," said Arjun.

"I am Madhav, Prince of Dwaraka," offered the owner of the name. "It is basic courtesy to say your name when someone tells you theirs," he said in an encouraging tone.

Arjun looked at him mistrustfully. He should not go around giving his name to persuasive strangers like this. He could probably take him out with an arrow anyway, but still.

"I am Parth, son of Pritha," he said.

"Ah, Parth," said Madhav. "Now that we know each other's name, care to take a walk with me?"

Arjun started to shoot back a, "No," but instead heard himself saying, "All right."

********************

"You must be the only living being I have seen out on the streets today," Madhav said.

"My brothers would be somewhere around," said Arjun, hoping uncomfortably he had not been away too long.

"I assume you and your brothers did not come for Princess Panchali's swayamvar?"

Arjun shook his head.

"Already wedded, are you?"

"No," said Arjun, rolling his eyes.

"Strange self-restraint, in that case," said Madhav, his eyes twinkling. "King Drupad has organized a most unusual method of conducting his daughter's swayamvar on Prince Drishtadyumna's brainwave." He cast a glance at the bow slung over Arjun's shoulder. "I think you might be extraordinarily suited to win it."

"Is it related to shooting a target?" asked Arjun, his curiosity sparked.

"An exceptionally difficult target, yes."

When Arjun didn't say anything, Madhav continued.

"Princess Panchali is also the most stunning woman who has walked on earth. Not only is her beauty and grace unparalleled, she is as spirited as the fire she was born from."

"She was born from fire?" Arjun was even more intrigued.

"A swayamvar with a task in archery and the hand of a fire-born Princess to be won," said Madhav. "Are you sure you don't want to give it a shot--in the, er, literal sense?"

"Yes, I am sure," said Arjun. "My brothers and I were just passing over this city; we did not mean to linger. Besides, I am not sure we are supposed to declare ourselves."

"You do not have to declare yourself," said Madhav. "Go in disguise, son of Pandu."

Arjun's head snapped around. Madhav's grin was mischievous.

"How do you--" began Arjun indignantly.

"I know everything, Arjun," said Madhav, his grin widening. "King Drupad's children happen to be two of my dearest friends. I was bidden by Prince Drishtadyumna to hunt the best suitor for his sister and my friend. I have been on the job for a month, and I think I have finally found him."

Arjun had no idea what this strange man had seen in him--shooting at a target with malice?--to decide he was the best suitor of his extraordinary friend.

"If we hurry, we might just make it in time."

*******************

Somehow, an hour later, the Pandavas were to be found trooping into the enormous gathering of the swayamvar in the guise of harmless Brahmins. Nobody seriously expected Brahmins to win, anyway, so no one gave them a second glance.

Madhav left their side with a friendly clap on Arjun's shoulder, saying that he was required to be up on the podium with the royal family.

That, finally, drew Arjun's gaze to the royal family--and the fire-born Princess sitting in the centre.

She was not simply beautiful. She was not simply graceful.

She was a reincarnation of a Goddess.

Princess Panchali looked around to smile at Madhav, who was approaching the podium, and her gaze went past Madhav, around where the Pandavas were standing. For a beat, Arjun could swear her eyes met his.

There was fire in her eyes, fire that he knew could never be quenched, fire that made him feel he was on fire, too.

Overwhelmed with gratitude for Duryodhan and Karna for driving them to Panchal, for Drishtadyumna for setting a task of archery, for Madhav for pulling him here, for every star in the sky that had converged to get him here, at this exact point of time, Arjun turned to gauge the target with an archer's eye.

It was going to be the most important shot of his life.

Chapter Text

Yudhishthir's pov

Bheem and Nakul nudged each other with identical wicked grins on their face as Arjun gazed, moony-eyed, at the podium where the Princess and her family was seated.

"It was quite a stroke on luck to stumble across such a helpful stranger, wasn't it, Bhrata Arjun?" Sahadev asked.

"What?" said Arjun distractedly.

"Also lucky it is not a test that requires any sort of sensible speaking," added Bheem.

Yudhishthir indicated at them to lay off, and put a hand on Arjun's shoulder. Not that he seemed to notice, but he meant for it to be good luck.

The task to win the Princess' hand was not easy.

To begin with, the bow was nearly impossible to be stringed. If you did get it stringed, the target--the eye of a golden fish--was not only high up and tiny, it had to be aimed at solely by looking at its reflection.

Dozens of kings failed. Yudhishthir knew, though, that his brother would not fail. He would not have failed even if he was not smitten by the Princess, but since he was smitten by her, he would most definitely not fail.

He did not.

*******************

They kept up the guise of Brahmins right till Draupadi garlanded the victor and was garlanded in return. She tried to catch his eyes as they did, but in spite of having won a near-impossible contest, Arjun appeared confused, nervous, and determined to look at anything but her.

Yudhishthir told King Drupad that the wedding could not be completed without their mother's blessings; they would be back by the following day. Madhav, Arjun's benefactor, had revealed some version of their true identity to the King, but he did not look put out.

The Pandavas waited by the chariots as Draupadi waited for her twin brother to turn up.

Drishtadyumna finally appeared from a corner. His eyes were suspiciously red and his face was blotchy. Draupadi dissolved into tears at sight of him.

"Fare thee well, sis," said Drish dramatically, but the effect was compromised because his voice choked.

"You idiot." Draupadi gave him a strangling hug. "You will come to visit me, won't you?"

"I will come every week, sis," promised Drish.

"L-little sis," corrected Draupadi.

Drishtaduymna kissed her head fiercely and gave Arjun such a ferocious look that poor Arjun took a step back, looking horrified.

"You mess around with her, I bury you alive into the ground."

"Drish!"

Madhav and all of Arjun's brothers laughed, though Yudhishthir thought he ought not to.

"Of course, I--I--" said Arjun, flustered. "I don't intend to mess around with your sister."

********************

It would have ended a perfect day after Duryodhan's pettiness yesterday.

Hastinapur's palace was uproarious with New Year celebrations. In the enormous court, the elders were offering prayers to their deities.

"Maa, we're back!" cried Nakul.

"Just a second, my dears--" Queen Mother Kunti was intent on her prayer.

"But Maa," Arjun said. "Look what we have got!"

His mother spoke absent-mindedly. "Share it equally amongst yourself."

She looked around and froze, as had everyone in the court.

Then there was silence.

********************

The silence was broken by Kunti's horrified gasp.

"Maa," said Yudhishthir in consternation. "What did you say?"

"I had no idea--I never thought--"

It took a while for everyone in the court to grasp the situation. Yudhishthir struggled to say the words he deemed to be right.

"We cannot falsify Maa's words."

"But there is no possible way to avoid that," said Kunti anxiously. "It was a slip of tongue, forget it, my sons."

"How will that be right?" asked Yudhishthir.

Duryodhan and Dussashan, standing beside Karna, looked amused. Shakuni was licking his lips. Most people looked intrigued. Bhisma, at the far end of the hall, could not have looked further from amusement.

"Panchali--" Yudhishthir turned to her; she had drawn closer to Arjun and looked wary. "Do you have any solution to this dilemma?"

An intense discussion commenced, in which everyone joined in. Bhisma Pitamah's opinion was asked foremost, then Gandhari and Dhritarashtra spoke. Shakuni made a comment or two.

The solution that began to emerge was: Panchali was to wed all five of the brothers.

Yudhishthir, horrified and desperately conflicted, saw how queasy Bheem, Nakul and Sahadev looked, even silent. But that was nothing compared to Arjun's and Panchali's expressions.

They had stepped away from each other, and were practically on opposite sides of the gathering now.

Arjun's shoulders were slumped, disappointment and horror emanating from him. Panchali did a better of job of hiding her emotions, but her lips were pursed into a thin line, and her fingers were clasped together.

They did not look at each other. In spite of their sudden wedding, they had both had set their hearts on it, and Yudhishthir hated himself for what was being done. But what was right and what was easy did not often coincide.

"Do you think it will be possible for you, Panchali?" asked Gandhari gently.

"If that is what I am expected to do," Panchali said in a ringing voice, letting Hastinapur know that she was not someone to be trifled with, "I will do it."

The hope was doused from Arjun's eyes. Yudhishthir's heart broke.

"You, Arjun?" asked Gandhari.

Arjun averted his gaze from everyone staring at him. "Yes, it's--it is--fine by me."

******************

Then the King of Anga spoke loudly.

"The entire idea is ridiculous. No one can be compelled into an arrangement like this."

The court fell silent. Watchful gazes scrutinized Karna. Duryodhan and Dussashan's jaws were hanging open.

"As Maharani Kunti said, forget her words. They were a mistake. She admits herself it was a mistake."

"But disobeying an elder would be unrighteous, King of Anga," said Yudhishthir. "Especially our own mother. You know that, do you not?"

"Following a slip of tongue by an elder in the name of dharma and letting innocent bystanders suffer is what in reality is adharma, Yudhishthir," said Karna. "What becomes of the woman you are subjecting to this suffering? What of her wishes? What of Arjun's?"

"Panchali and Arjun said--" began Gandhari.

But Karna's stand seemed to have rekindled Panchali's fire.

"I said if this were expected of me, I would do it. However, I would certainly prefer my husband's family did not expect such things of me in the first place. I have changed my mind. I will marry solely Arjun, or I will return to Panchal and live as an outcast with my brother."

She fixed a laser eye on Arjun, whose face was burning and who looked like he would rather be anywhere else on earth. He glanced at Yudhishthir, who remained quiet and thoughtful.

"I agree with the King of Anga and my wife," he said finally, rather feebly. Then his voice strengthened. "Subjecting a woman to a polyandrous marriage cannot be dharma, jyesht."

"You're right." Yudhishthir grabbed the way out with both hands, relief drenching him. "Of the two evils, falsification of Maa's words is relatively more righteous than--this."

Bheem, Nakul and Sahadev immediately spoke up in agreement. The discussion resumed, now in favour of the bride and groom's opinions.

Yudhishthir caught Arjun flashing the King of Anga a frank smile of relief, and suddenly he was so glad, he thought he had never felt more grateful towards anyone.

He had needed someone to show him a way out of dharma fueling on adharma, and of all people, it had been the King of Anga who had showed him that.

Chapter Text

Arjun's pov

It was the most awkward wedding imaginable, but considering the circumstances preceding it, it could have been much worse.

Arjun was too scared to even look at Panchali in the eye. What must she be thinking of their family? To begin with, in the journey from Panchal to Hastinapur, his brothers barring Yudhishthir had been abusing their cousins and Uncle Shakuni with gusto. Coming back, first there was the matter of the polyandrous marriage. Then Duryodhan did not disappoint by passing an audible comment about how Panchali's father had subjected her to a lifetime of unhappiness by setting a target of archery in her swayamvar. Bheem shoved Duryodhan so hard, he almost collided with a pillar. Yudhishthir and Karna had to restrain them from turning it into a wrestling fight in the midst of the wedding, after which Kunti and Gandhari scolded them both for not behaving on their brother's wedding day.

After all this, could anyone blame him for being too scared to lift his eyes? Arjun thought.

He went through all the ceremonies staring resolutely at the floor and his bride's feet and feeling increasingly disgruntled. It was not to say her feet were not beautiful, but her face had been infinitely more so, and he wished he could screw up the courage to look up.

At some point, Panchali caught his hand in a firm grip, from which he took a bit of heart. He held on to it for getting through the ordeal.

"Are you okay?" she whispered when they were taking the seven rounds around the fire.

"Y-yes--yes, certainly," he stammered, which made it clear he was not okay.

Panchali laughed softly.

That made Arjun even more jittery. His wedding day was the last one he would have chosen to make such a fool of himself, but there you are.

By the time the ceremonies were over and they had been declared husband and wife, Arjun was desperately looking for ways to escape. He could have, but he did not want to make Panchali feel he had not wanted the wedding at all.

He had wanted it more than she possibly could have, and he went cold at the very thought of what might have transpired had Karna not intervened when he did.

Amidst all the well-wishers whose wishes was making Arjun want to escape more and more by the minute, there was one who calmed him down the moment she came.

********************

"Take a deep breath, child."

Vrushali's strange statement made Arjun looked up, confused.

"Do it," said Vrushali. "You could do with a lot of calming down."

Beside him, Panchali nodded. "I was wondering if it would be too rude to tell him that. Breathe in, breathe out."

Arjun did not feel as embarrassed as he thought he should.

"What happened was not your fault, Arjun," said Vrushali. "I am sure your wife does not hold you responsible."

"I don't," said Panchali quickly. "It will be a funny story to tell my brother back home. He will think his hard work at setting the target has been rewarded."

"Funny?" said Arjun in a hollow voice, finally turning to her.

"Because it ended well." Panchali smiled a smile that was at the same time mischievous and assuring. "I think we would be glad for today in the future. I already am."

"Me too," Arjun said.

By the time he had looked away from her (which was quite a long duration), Vrushali had disappeared. Spotting her standing with Karna near the other end, Arjun told Panchali he'd be right back and plunged into the crowd.

*******************

"Di! Thank you for turning up there--I don't think Panchali is mad at me anymore--"

Vrushali ruffled his hair in a gesture reminiscent of his mother's. "She was not mad to begin with, you idiot."

Arjun looked at Karna, who was standing in silence, and all he could say was, "You saved my life."

"It was Vrushali's idea," said Karna blandly. "I was simply the one who spoke."

"Really?" said Vrushali sarcastically. "Don't you believe him, Arjun, I did not say a word."

"What gave you the idea of going against the general opinion?" Arjun asked in honest curiosity.

Karna frowned. "It would have been ridiculous--it would have been the unfairest--"

"It would have ruined Arjun's life," put in Vrushali and turned to Arjun with a grin. "And while Karna assures me he dislikes you from the core of his soul, Arjun, it appears he does not want your life ruined."

She gave him an significant nod and left. Karna was about to follow, but Arjun spoke quickly to stop him.

*****************

"King of Anga, I can never thank you enough."

"Don't try," said Karna. "I am okay without your thanks."

Arjun studied his face in silence, which made him defensive.

"As I told you, I did not do it for you," he said in such a deliberately insulting tone that it did not sound at all insulting. "I did it because it was clear the woman you had won had set her heart on marrying you alone--and it would have been a great wrong on her. And because Vrushali thought the same--"

Arjun saw Karna gazing after Vrushali. In Arjun's opinion, he had no need to look so tragic. But he did seem to think himself tragic. Vrushali had been telling him the other day about Karna's thirteen years of absence in his strive to make something for himself--Arjun loved listening to stories about his jyesht--which maybe had something to do with his doubts.

"You could try looking more cheerful when you look after Di, King of Anga," said Arjun. "She is obviously in love with you, as you are with her."

Karna looked like the earth had fallen away beneath him.

"What? Don't tell me it came as a shock. You could read Panchali's thoughts after seeing her for five minutes and you can't read Di after spending so much time with her?"

"It is none of your business," said Karna stiffly.

"You just interfered in my wedding," Arjun said reasonably. "It would only be fair if I intervened in yours to make us even."

"My wedding is out of the question--"

"Indeed it would be, if you act so stupidly."

"How can you call someone stupid?" Karna flared up faithfully. "You were just about to get your wife marry five men by blindly following your mother and eldest broth--"

"After today, I will certainly blindly follow my eldest brother to the end of the world."

Arjun grinned at Karna's perplexed frown.

"You saved my life when I was being stupid," he said. "I am trying to do the same. Go and tell Di. And then ask for her hand to her parents before someone else does. You never know how many of them are waiting to."

"Do you think I should?" Karna sounded tentative.

"There is no one I would rather have Di marry," said Arjun solemnly.

That make Karna laugh, though his face was flushed.

"If she agrees, we will be even," he said, and added in a warning tone, "And if she turns me down, Arjun, you will face the consequences."

"Certainly, jye--" Arjun swallowed, horrified. "K-King of Anga."

It was horribly difficult to think of someone as jyesht and remember to call him King of Anga. Luckily, Karna did not seem to have noticed.

"The swayamvar truly had the task of hitting a target?" he asked curiously. "What kind was it?"

Arjun described it in the finest of details. He could see Karna trying to visualize it in amusement and delight at the ingeniousness.

"I wish I was there," he said.

"It was good for me you were not," said Arjun cautiously. "You never know who would have won."

"I just wanted to see it, I did not mean I would have competed for the Princess' hand--!" began Karna indignantly, but quieted down swiftly. "I expect you were joking. I am not very good at recognizing jokes," he added.

"You would not be Bhrata Duryodhan's friend if you were," said Arjun laughingly.

Instead of flying to Duryodhan's defense and coming up with something to taunt Arjun, Karna joined in his laughter.

Arjun was so lightheaded with joy, he bumped into a pillar and then into a wall later that day, and he could not say if he owed his floating sort of happiness to winning his wife's affections or his eldest brother's.

***************

Two weeks later, when Arjun had finished falling in love with his wife, he thought of the intriguing stranger who had known their names and had pressed him to attend the swayamvar.

He owed Madhav as much as he owed Karna, and suddenly wished to meet him again. He had said the Panchal twins were his friends--maybe he could ask Panchali were he was likely to be--

He had taken one step towards the palace from the garden when a voice spoke behind him.

"I was waiting for you to think of me, Parth."

Arjun whirled around and found Madhav smirking at him.

"How are you here?" he asked in horror. "How did you know I'd thought of you?"

"I must warn you I see and know things I should not." Madhav was, clearly, inordinately fond of keeping up a mysterious demeanour. "Do you want to come with me on a trip to Raivataka?"

"What?" said Arjun stupidly.

"A trip," said Madhav like he was speaking to someone particularly slow-witted. "To Raivataka mountain range."

"You mean--right now?"

Madhav nodded solemnly.

"Just the two of us?"

His companion nodded again, even more solemnly.

"I--I must inform the others--and take permission from jyesht first--"

"No, you don't." Madhav grabbed his arm with surprising strength and pulled him towards the gates. "It is the unplanned journeys that are always the best."

Arjun protested vaguely but allowed himself to follow Madhav, to do something without Yudhishthir's permission for once in his life.

He did not know he was to enjoy the journey to bits.

Chapter Text

Karna's pov

A sage visiting Hastinapur informed them of the auspiciousness of the upcoming week to bring about a change for the better in their kingdom.

Bhisma took it as a good omen to crown their future king.

And with that, the shaky peace of the past half-year was shattered.

Uncle Shakuni said the house of lacquer was ready. He told them he had spoken to his sister, Queen Gandhari in Queen Kunti's presence about how a pilgrimage to Varanavat would be a great way to kickstart Yudhishthir's term as Crown Prince. He said  Kunti had begun considering it.

He said Queen Mother Kunti was going to visit Varanavat for a few days beforehand and would return for the crowning and would then go there with her sons.

"Where is she going to stay?" asked Dussashan, echoing Karna's desperate query.

"Not in our precious house of lacquer, of course," said Shakuni. "They will be sent to the house only when the whole family of six goes."

******************

Almost as if fate wanted to tell him something very important, Karna stumbled across Kunti the moment he had stepped out of Duryodhan's room.

She smiled at him.

"Greetings, Queen Mother," said Karna in a dry voice.

"Greetings, my dear. I was hoping to find you--I never got the chance to talk to you after Arjun's wedding."

"Oh--"

"Thank you for your timely intervention. I cannot imagine what might have happened otherwise."

"It's--it was nothing, Maharani--"

Kunti raised her hand to his cheek, her eyes soft.

"It is kind of you to say that. I expect Arjun had told you personally of his gratitude as well...he thinks of you as something of a hero now."

She laughed at his expression.

"I am in a bit of a hurry now--I am leaving for Varanavat--"

"When will you be back?"

"In three days' time, I expect. After Yudhishthir's crowning, my sons and I are going to stay there for a couple of months."

"Is Varanavat that holy a place?" The question slipped out before Karna could stop himself.

Kunti looked amused and indulgent, like the way a mother looked when her child asked a stupid question. It was the way Radha Maa often used to look at him in his childhood when he asked questions of archery.

"Yes, it is very holy. You can come to visit us there sometime."

"I would...love to."

Kunti bid him farewell. Karna had never realized earlier how fond he was of her. Sending her to Varanavat to die was--

He stormed back to Duryodhan's room.

******************

But once inside, Karna could hardly look at the occupants: Duryodhan, Dussashan and Shakuni. The people who had chosen to be his companions and whom he had chosen in return. They were the only ones who had ever chosen him. One of them, in particular. He could not betray them

But he had to stop this--he had to--

"Duryodhan--please."

"Karna--" Duryodhan's tone was as pleading as his.

"Don't do this," they said together.

"What am I doing?" asked Karna.

"Constantly resisting a well-laid out plot," said Duryodhan. "I have won the hearts of million of our subjects, but their hearts were already Yudhishthir's, too. Pitamah will still crown Yudhishthir in a week. They need to go on that pilgrimage. Or I will never be the king."

"But--but--" Karna had never felt more helpless. "What about the Queen Mother? Why do you want to take her life?"

"You can convince her to stay back," said Duryodhan. "I do not wish to take her life."

"How on earth can I convince her?"

"Likewise, how can I? Obviously she will accompany her sons to Varanavat. None of us want to hurt Aunt Kunti, but I am not going to sacrifice my throne for her."  

"What about our competence? Your competence? My competence? Do you not have trust in it?" 

"I will be competent when I am the King," said Duryodhan. "But you--I understand you will never be able to prove yourself if Arjun dies before you defeat him."

"No, I don't--that's not what I--I don't care--"

"We need to get Pitamah and Father to organize a competition. We should be able to get it done day after tomorrow."

"What?" said Karna.

"A display of skill similar to the previous one where you first appeared, my friend," said Duryodhan, his eyes lighting up. "This time it will be just you and Arjun. Sundown will not prevent a result."

"A display of f-fighting, you mean?"

"Yes! By day after tomorrow, you will have shown the world that the son of a charioteer can also be the best archer in the world." Duryodhan imitated the last bit that they had repeated so many times in the past, and grinned. "Because I do not doubt, for one second, that there can be any other result."

Karna's mind had gone blank. So blank that even the reminder of the most important thing in his life--respect for skill, not caste--failed to fire him up.

"Duryodhan--I don't care about defeating Arjun in public--"

"I care!" said Duryodhan fiercely. "If you do not defeat Arjun squarely, what happens to your caste? You are their best hope to bring about a change."

"I know. But that is not as important as what you are planning--in the light of this plot of yours--"

"Do you, King of Anga," said Shakuni, "wish to spare Arjun this last humiliation of his life?"

"No," said Karna desperately. "But this is so--so--"

"Pragmatic." Dussashan nodded.

Things were moving too fast and Karna's heart was sinking as fast.

"Say something, Karna," said Duryodhan.

"I think," said Shakuni. "Karna is unable to separate the two incidents. His dharma protests against our house of lacquer. In light of that, he has forgotten the very aim of his life. Which is to show the world that caste does not matter, my child."

Do not dare call me your child, thought Karna wildly. 

"Think of the two separately," said Shakuni. "Prepare yourself to defeat Arjun in the arena, son. After you have been crowned the victor, leave for Anga. Return only a fortnight later after the Pandavas have left."

Duryodhan and Dussashan looked like they agreed with this miraculous solution.

"Yes," said Duryodhan. "It will be impossible for you to stay here while the preparations of the pilgrimage is going on...but I'll come to visit you, I promise."

Karna returned Duryodhan's affectionate smile uneasily.

"I know you are not happy about what we are planning in Varanavat," his friend said softly. "I am sincerely sorry it grieves you. But you do understand the importance of the throne to me. Can you not turn a blind eye to it for my sake? Just this once?"

"Duryodhan, you know I will do anything for you." Karna's voice choked.

Duryodhan embraced him fiercely.

"But as Uncle said, don't let this affect your efforts in the contest. Arjun is still your arch-rival and defeating him is still the step to achieving your dream, my dream. I want the kingdom to know that it is not Dronacharya's prized disciple who is the supreme archer of the land, but my best friend."

"I know. I know."

Karna had never felt worse in his whole life. But he told himself over and over and over that it was because of the adharma in the plot that was to unfold. And maybe the threat to Maharani Kunti's life. The threat to the Pandavas' life--his best friend's enemies--had nothing to do with it. The duel in the arena had nothing to do with it.

And Arjun certainly had nothing to do with it.

He did not care about Arjun the slightest bit that he should feel bad about the duel.

This was his chance. To finally realize his vision. He was not going to squander it.

******************

Duryodhan asked his father's permission in the court the next morning to make an announcement.

"I ask for the elders' permission to send invites to the subjects if Hastinapur to come and witness in the arena a similar display of skill as last year."

Everyone paused in whatever they were doing.

"All of us were defeated last year, except two." Duryodhan's eyes moved from Karna, who stared stonily at the throne of King Dhritarashtra, to Arjun. "So this time, it will be just the two of them. Fighting to prove who the best archer in the world is."

A murmuring ensued.

"Do give us your blessings, Pitamah."

Bhisma stood up. He did not sound happy, but he granted permission. Dhritarashtra and Gandhari followed, though they did not sound happy either. Queen Mother Kunti, of course, was not present. Karna wondered if she would have spoken against the idea.

In spite of his best efforts to keep his gaze on the throne on the opposite end of the court, Karna's eyes found Arjun standing with his brothers.

Arjun simply looked stunned.

Karna looked back to the throne before his rival could ask the question with his eyes. He knew exactly what he was about to ask.

You still care about who is the better archer among the two of us, King of Anga?

Yes, Arjun. Yes, I care.

Chapter Text

Arjun's pov

"Are you willing to take part in the contest, Karna?" Pitamah asked.

Karna's reply was quiet but firm. "Yes."

"Are you willing to take part in the contest, Arjun?"

Arjun, who was winded with shock, remained silent till Bheem pinched his elbow so hard he had to choke back a gasp.

"Yes," he said.

His voice was far from firm.

*****************

"They are doing it for the psychological boost," mused Sahadev. "Duryodhan is burning with envy about jyesht's crowning. He thinks it will be a victory if the King of Anga beats Bhrata Arjun. At this point, he is probably craving any small victory."

"Karna and Arjun's face-off is not small," said Bheem. "You will see how the whole city turns up to watch. It will be a huge victory--for us." He gave Arjun one of his bear hugs that was more an assault than anything. "You are going to win over that servant of Duryodhan's blindfolded."

"He is not a servant of Duryodhan's!" Arjun pulled away, scowling. "This is not fair, jyesht--Duryodhan cannot control everything in our lives!"

"Well," said Yudhishthir in a pacifying voice. "Even if it is Duryodhan's move, we can hardly blame him for this. The King of Anga declared the moment he appeared that it is his aim to defeat you, Arjun. He was furious that your first duel ended in deadlock. It is surprising he acted so late to issue the next challenge."

"But he--that was almost a year ago--I thought--"

"What, that he has gone softer than before after spending the year with Duryodhan?" asked Nakul. "If anything, his choice of companions would have made him even more determined to cause us any insult."

"You must win tomorrow, Bhrata Arjun," said Sahadev.

"You must," echoed Bheem and Nakul.

Arjun looked at Yudhishthir, who looked sad but stoic.

"Yes," he said. "There is no other alternative. But you will win anyway, my dear."

For the first time, Arjun found his brothers' companionship oppressive.

*****************

As always, whenever he needed Madhav's presence with him, his friend turned up out of thin air. Some people called him the Lord of the Universe. Lord Krishna.

Madhav had laughed away whenever Arjun questioned him about it. 

He would be Madhav to him anyway, even if he was the Lord of the Universe.

"Parth," he said.

"Madhav--" Arjun tried not to freak out.

"I heard of the upcoming duel," said Krishna. "I take it that you are not happy about it."

"No, I--I don't want to fight the King of Anga. Should I turn down the challenge?"

"You can do that to your pride?"

"I...yes, I think so."

"You are willing to let yourself down for the sake of the King of Anga?"

Arjun nodded firmly.

"And let your other brothers down?" asked Madhav.

Arjun froze.

By now he was more or less used to his friend 'knowing things he should not.' He loved shocking people out of their wits. It made him annoyingly smug at times but honestly he was too much fun to hang out with to hold that against him.

But this--this secret--

He had never spoken of it to anyone. It was too dangerous; he had protected it so long, he had almost forgotten that it was a secret to be kept.

"You know?" He sounded anguished even to himself.

Madhav slung an arm around him.

"But what is the use of me knowing, Parth?"

"At least I can talk to--to someone--even Maa isn't here, if she was, I could have told her to tell everyone the truth--"

"That would indeed be a problem if Aunt Kunti and I were the only ones in the secret," said Madhav softly. "She is away, and I cannot interfere in Hastinapur's proceedings."

Arjun had to look away from the piercing gaze he was subjected to.

"You don't mean--" he said hoarsely. "I cannot be the one to tell him."

"What other choice do you have?"

Arjun steeled himself before moving out of the protection of Madhav's arm.

"All right," he said. "All right. Will you come with me?"

Madhav grinned wryly.

"No, I really think it is a matter of the family alone. Besides, there is something very urgent I need to attend to back home."

"You are leaving?"

"I will be back in a couple of days," promised Madhav. "Go, now. My thoughts will remain with you," he added gravely.

Ordinarily Arjun would have tried for a sarcastic reply, but now he only said, "Please be back soon."

*****************

Karna was found in the stables, as he often was. Unexpectedly, though, Nakul was with him. They were tending to a horse together. Their movements were comradely.

Arjun cleared his throat, making them turn.

Nakul gave him a look like, Don't worry, I am your spy, I am trying to gather what he plans to do tomorrow.

Like he would be able to pick up any tactics of archery Karna planned to apply. Arjun would have smiled if he was not feeling so serious.

"Could you leave us for a bit, Nakul?" he said.

Nakul shrugged and obeyed. Arjun and Karna both watched his disappear before looking at each other. Karna spoke first.

"Before you ask anything, I must tell you that Duryodhan got the duel organized on my request and I look forward eagerly to putting you and your teacher's arrogance straight tomorrow."

It sounded like a repetition from rote memory. It encouraged Arjun a little.

Maybe Karna was not as convinced about this idea as he was pretending to be.

"I am vehemently opposed to it. I do not want this duel at all, King of Anga."

"Why the devil is that?"

"I don't want to duel you--"

"So you admit I am superior?" said Karna curiously. "You admit you are scared to fight me?"

Arjun had thought he could do that to his pride. How hard could it be?

Impossibly hard, as he discovered.

But saying an outright no would hardly help his cause. As he remained silent, Karna gave him an unamused smile.

"Call off the fight then," he said. "Surrender."

"No one in the kingdom is going to believe I surrendered," retorted Arjun. 

"Too bad, since it is you who does want to surrender."

"I don't want to surrender," said Arjun, nettled. "I just don't want to injure you--"

It was, of course, the wrong thing to say, possibly the worst under the circumstances. Karna's jaw clenched.

Arjun, in a burst of panic, remembered Madhav's words--what other choice do you have? He caught hold of every bit of courage he possessed and tried to control the damage hastily.

"Do you remember, King of Anga, my mother once said--we are not enemies, we are like--like--your brothers--"

Karna snorted.

"Yes, the Queen Mother lives in an ideal world of her own. I will cut off my armour and earrings before I call you my brother, Arjun."

Arjun's words died in his throat.

There were a lot of things he could have done.

He could have seen the light-hearted comment as a joke. He could have completed what he had started to say even if it had not been a joke. He could have told himself that his opponent did not know the truth, and what he had said without knowing it was not what he would say if he did know it.

He could have shouted the truth. He could have whispered the truth. He could have even swallowed his pride and lied that he was afraid of fighting. He could have done any one of a million things to prevent the duel tomorrow.

Only, he seemed to have lost the energy to do anything anymore.

So he turned and left in silence.

******************

Hours later, Yudhishthir found him gazing into space on the terrace.

"Come and get some sleep." His brother helped him up. "You have to be at your best tomorrow."

Arjun promised himself he would be at his best tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Karna's pov

Karna walked into the centre of the arena with Duryodhan's low-voiced best wishes ringing in his ears above the wishes of all of Duryodhan's brothers and the cheering of the audience.

When he was at his position, he looked up at the gallery. And the same gallery from a year ago flashed in front of his eyes so blindingly, for a while he could not distinguish.

Hundreds of rows of spectators falls silent as he, the challenger walks in. 

Today, the spectators were pumping their fists, children jumping up and down, adults' faces streaked with eagerness.

Guru Drona's brows is knitted in annoyance. 'You are challenging Prince Arjun? If I am not wrong, Your Excellency, is the son of a charioteer allowed to challenge a Ksatriya with the bow and arrow?'

Today, the teacher of the Kuru dynasty had the tips of his fingers pressed together, a slight smile on his face. His confidence in his pupil was clear.

And his opponent, the privileged beloved Prince of Hastinapur, gazes at him, astonished.

Today, his opponent, the same one, gazed only at the ground.

His opponent is not afraid to fight him, Karna would give him that: he is waiting for the elders to grant permission.

Today, he was afraid. He had come to grovel to him to forfeit. What could that be but cowardice?

The audience has been sparked into indignation. 'Go away, Sutaputra! Go away, Sutaputra!'

Today, a large part of them--though less than the number cheering their Prince's name, no doubt--cheered his name, too.

King Dhritarashtra's announcement came in a magnified voice. "Warriors, prepare yourselves."

Blood gushing particularly fast in anticipation, Karna lifted his bow. Arjun did the same. Karna wanted to tell him that he could not shoot if he refused to look up.

On what grounds did Guru Drona even award Arjun his favour, when he was such a coward? Whatever Guru Drona was, he was not a coward.

"BEGIN," the King said.

Duryodhan leads  the chants from the Kauravas. 'Come on, Karna! Come on, King of Anga!'

It was the only thing that held true today, too.

"Come on, Karna!" Duryodhan shouted. "Come on, my friend!"

*******************

The duel started off slow. Both of them took a couple of trial shots. The crowd shrieked at the whoosh! of each arrow; excitements shot sky-high even before the real duel had begun.

The first shot bang on target was Karna's. Arjun dodged out of the way at the last minute.

The first draw of blood was Arjun's. Fending off a set of dozen spinning arrows, Karna felt one of them scrape his shoulder, a part of his body not covered with his armour. It was a spiked arrow that broke the skin and a thin stream of blood trickled down.

It was the most minor of wounds; Karna would have hardly registered it if the spectators had not raised the volume of their screaming and Arjun's brothers not cheered him on with greater gusto.

Karna was already pulling back his bowstring when Arjun looked at him at last.

He had expected to see a slight flash of triumph. Instead, all he saw was a pair of wide, wild eyes, devoid of any expression.

*******************

After that, not a single arrow of Arjun's was on target, and not a single time did he manage to dodge out of incoming arrows in time.

*******************

That was not to say that Arjun had laid down his bow and opened his arms wide to receive Karna's shots on his body.

He shot and he dodged, but he did it so badly, Guru Drona's 'best archer in the world', was, on that day, an insult to the very tag of an archer.

*******************

Karna had rarely fought a more one-sided duel in his life. He wondered if his fellow suta friends who had never touched a bow would not have done miles better if they had received even a week of training.

By the end of half an hour, the entire gallery had started chanting Karna's name. Duryodhan and his brothers' laughs was ringing in the arena. Arjun's brothers had fallen completely silent. Karna could not spare them a glance in the middle of the duel, but he could imagine their demeanours well.

Considering the standard of his opponent's efforts, Karna could easily have wounded him to incapacitation. But he had resolved earlier that when a victory would be sufficient to realize his dream, he did not want a bloody victory.

So Arjun's scratches and bruises were only minor ones. His body was only dotted with blood, not drenched with it. After the first cut on his shoulder, Karna did not sustain a single one.

If he had wanted, Karna could have ended the duel within five minutes, too. But he had not wanted to end the duel too quickly. He did not want a bloody victory, but he did want one that reduced his rival to absolute humiliation.

He had foreseen, however, a challenging contest. 

This was so easy it was almost insulting to him, too.

Earlier, he would have preferred to dominate in a duel which lasted several hours. Now he was bored at the end of the first hour, and decided to end it.

Karna aimed for Arjun's bow arm. In his head, he had had the sole purpose of disarming. Even if Arjun had not reacted at all, his arm was all his shot would have hit. 

Instead, like an imbecile in a daze, he ducked. And then somehow, with nobody quite sure how, he managed to catch the arrow on his head.

The crowd's screams raided the air.

*******************

For a beat, Karna was frozen with horror as Arjun fell to his knees, the side of his head dark red. 

He had not let go of his bow, but from the way he clutched it at his side without attempting to lift it up could be taken to be defeat anyway.

Karna took a couple of steps closer to gauge the damage. It was not as bad as it had first seemed. The arrow had only grazed the side of his head. The amounts of blood on head injuries were always misleading--the crowd would not know, but warriors knew.

But the blood always had its psychological effect: in spite of knowing it was nothing serious, Karna felt scared anyway. 

He had almost begun to ask, 'Are you okay?' before he caught himself. He could not ask Arjun if he was okay--he would have to wait till someone else did.

"MY FRIEND KARNA IS THE VICTOR!"

Duryodhan's roar sparked everyone into shouts of victory over the ones of fright.

"VICTOR! VICTOR! VICTOR!"

"LONG LIVE, KING OF ANGA! LONG LIVE, KING OF ANGA!"

Karna slung his bow over his shoulder and finally looked away from Arjun, and up into the podium were Hastinapur's royalty sat.

******************

Things had gone exactly how he had imagined from his early days. 

Arjun's brothers were frozen. King Dhritarashtra and Queen Gandhari, in spite of not having witnessed the duel, had their heads down. Guru Drona was ashen. Bhisma was frowning slightly. Hastinapur's audience was chanting Karna's name, not caring about the caste he had been born to.

They had seen that the son of a charioteer could defeat their precious, pampered Prince. They had seen that the son of a charioteer could be the best archer in the world.

Duryodhan's face was stretched into the biggest grin as he studied Arjun's half-faint, bloodied form on the ground. Karna studied it, too. He had been dreaming this image in his head for a decade.

Why, then, did his heart feel so heavy?

*******************

The royal elders started to descend to the field. Duryodhan was sprinting the fastest of all, his triumphant laugh out of control and giddy. Karna smiled at the sound, but the smile faded just as quickly as it came on.

Arjun stood up unsteadily. Karna could not help a burst of relief.

"What on earth was that, Arjun? Got stage fright, did you?" asked Karna, who was actually curious underneath the mockery. "Were you that out of practice?"

When Arjun looked up, his face was muddled with tears.

It was baffling. Did he not have any pride?

That reminded Karna: yes, he did have a lot of pride.

"I had told you long ago," said Karna. "Someday you will learn that pride comes before a fall. I am gratified I was the one who could teach you that."

Arjun looked away, and did not say anything. Of course, he did not have anything to say.

But Arjun's tears had taken half the joy out of his victory. The joy which had been non-existent in the first place.

Duryodhan reached him and clasped him in his arms, still shouting. 

Karna kept feeling like he had done something very wrong.

Bhisma came to usher them both ahead for the official crowning of the victor. The way he looked at Arjun betrayed that there was nothing he wanted more than to comfort his grandson, but he refrained; he did not insult his grandson. 

Warriors were not made to be comforted.

Arjun's tears were only further signs of his weakness, his incompetence, his cowardice.

Over the walk to the podium, Karna kept telling himself: I have not done anything wrong. I have not done anything wrong.

Chapter Text

Arjun's pov

Arjun only concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other in the walk to the podium. Through his hazed gaze, he could see only disappointment.

The disappointment on Gurudev's face. The disappointment on Bheem's face and the twins'. The disappointment on Pitamah's face. The disappointment on Uncle Vidur's face.

The jeers of the crowd. The laughs of his cousins. The triumphant smile of the King of Anga's.

All his life he had seen only admiration when people looked at him. It had raised the standards to such level that the bump back to earth was intolerable.

He had never been so humiliated in his whole life. 

On the stairs leading to the podium, the ground spun alarmingly. Pitamah caught his arm to steady him.

After that, Arjun exerted all efforts not to pass out. If he passed out, it would be still more humiliating--if that was even possible.

But if he passed out, at least he would not be conscious to face it...

On the podium, meeting Guru Drona's gaze was inevitable. It was the worst moment of the day so far. Gurudev looked more pained than disappointed. 

Arjun wondered if he was pained at being let down in front of the kingdom.

But then he gave Arjun a small nod of encouragement. You are still my favourite student, it seemed to say.

It made him feel worse.

"To think we bothered about wishing Karna luck," Duryodhan said boisterously.

Dussashan slapped Karna on the shoulder, sniggering. 

"It was hardly a satisfying victory, however," Karna said, and turned to Arjun. "You ruined its entire potential, Arjun." 

Duryodhan and Dussashan's laughs went still more mocking. The King of Anga was not laughing; he genuinely looked inquisitive.

But Arjun had no idea why he had messed up. No justification, no defense.

He had come in with the preparation to give a fight--and he had been unable to. It was not like he had consciously decided and not given a fight. 

Every arrow he had shot had been with the intention of intercepting his opponent's arrows or to disarm him. Why had none of them been on target? Every swerve of his had been with the intention to escape his opponent's arrows' trajectories. Why had he swerved into their trajectories?

He hardly deserved to hold his bow anymore. But it was the only thing he had to hold on to.

Maybe someday his bow would forgive him for this.

"Warriors do not cry upon defeat, brother," said Duryodhan in a derisive tone. "You are certainly doing your best to humiliate Gurudev today."

Which made Arjun realize he was crying. Another thing about which he had no idea why.

Pitamah called Karna and Arjun forward.

Uncle Dhritarashtra spoke. "The victor of the contest was undoubtedly the King of Anga, son of Adhirath and Radha, Karna. On the behalf of Hastinapur, I apologize for our treatment of the King of Anga's abilities a year ago--"

Karna looked a mix of uncomfortable and pleased.

"--when Guru Drona had declared our Prince, my nephew Arjun as the best archer of the kingdom--"

In the end, Arjun concluded that the reason his tears would not relent was the realization that his best efforts had all been for nothing.

His big brother still looked at no one with as much unbridled hatred as he looked at him.

******************

Yudhishthir's pov

Yudhishthir took a step towards the podium. 

Bheem caught his arm and shook his head.

"Don't, jyesht, you will make it worse."

Nakul and Sahadev, both looking miserable, nodded nevertheless.

Bheem's voice was hoarse; he wanted to go to Arjun, too. "He will never forgive you."

Yudhishthir knew. He knew it perfectly well.

He would only be adding to his brother's humiliation if he went up to him now, for defeated warriors were not meant to be comforted. He knew Arjun would be furious. But his brain could not convince his heart, the heart of an elder brother.

You will never know, if you were not the elder brother, what it felt to see your brother bleeding in front of the world, humiliated beyond all limits, too ashamed to look anyone in the eye. He would not be a warrior to you anymore. He would simply be your baby brother.

***

It had been two weeks after their father's death that Yudhishthir had first seen Arjun cry. He might have cried earlier, but he had hidden it. It was in the middle of the night, when their mother and brothers were all asleep. Arjun's sobs were too soft to wake anyone up. 

Yudhishthir, thinking himself lucky to have been awake, crossed over the sleeping bodies to reach the other end of the cot where Arjun was curled up. 

At first, the latter tried to stifle his sobs into uneven breathing and pretend he was sleeping too. But when Yudhishthir had taken him in his arms, he had given in again.

"Couldn't sleep, my dear?"

"I am sorry for waking you, jyesht."

"I was already awake, but I would have been glad if you had woken me up, too." He wiped off his brother's tears, though more took their place, and held him for the hours till sunrise in silence.

Just as Sahadev was stirring awake, Yudhishthir had extracted a promise from Arjun in a whisper.

"Will you promise to wake me up whenever you are unable to sleep and feel like crying, child?"

***

Arjun had stuck to that promise for years afterwards, till it stopped. Yudhishthir could not say when exactly his brother had decided he was grown up and did not need comfort anymore.

To him, however, his younger brothers could never be grown up.

He shook off Bheem's restraining arm, tried to make himself inconspicuous, and made his way over to the podium.

It was only when he was within a foot of Arjun when he saw the tears on his cheeks.

He had gone with the intention of simply standing beside his brother, but now, he put his arm around Arjun's waist.

Arjun looked at him. Yudhishthir waited for him to push him away, scowling. That was what anyone would have done, and certainly what Arjun would have done.

Instead of indignation, Arjun reacted with surrender. He slumped against Yudhishthir and clung on.

Yudhishthir swallowed back his shock quickly.

"Are you all right?" he asked in Arjun's ear.

Arjun nodded.

Duryodhan and Dussashan were jeering, but it was meaningless noise to Yudhishthir.

He kissed Arjun's bleeding head and supported his head on the crook of his shoulder. Within a minute, his own face was soaked with Arjun's blood and Arjun's tears.

Dussashan leaned over to Duryodhan and Karna and spoke in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear and soft enough to pretend he had not meant for it to be heard.

"Look who Pitamah is making the Crown Prince, jyesht. He has to hold up his own best warrior; what will happen to the kingdom?"

Bhisma gave him a scorching look, but that was nothing compared to what Yudhishthir shot him.

Arjun's whisper in his shoulder was barely audible even to him. "I am sorry for letting you down, jyesht."

He always apologized before accepting comfort. 

"You can," whispered back Yudhishthir, his voice breaking, "never let me down as long as you call me jyesht, my dear."

But all along the King and Queen's speeches concluding the contest, Guru Drona's forced, brusque acceptance that he had overshot when he had declared Arjun supreme, it was a struggle for Yudhishthir to come to terms with how out of character Arjun was acting.

It was a bit terrifying. It was also heartbreaking.

Arjun never gave up. Arjun never gave in, either.

Maybe today had stretched him beyond his limit. But why had he fought so badly, anyway? Surely he was far better with the arrow in his sleep than what he had shown today?

But Yudhishthir resolved he would not be the one to remind his brother, even inadvertently, through shocked or disappointed looks, that he had disgraced himself in the arena today. He would only focus on finding out what was wrong.  

He knew his brother had finally passed out from blood loss when his inaudible sobs ceased.

Yudhishthir, helpless with a kind of anger he never felt, looked at the King of Anga with all the hatred he felt.

But Karna did not look very happy, himself; there was a strange look on his face as he studied Arjun in Yudhishthir's arms. Then he lifted his eyes to Yudhishthir's before quickly averting them.

Someday, Yudhishthir thought, he would make everyone who had ever dared to hurt his brother pay.

********************

When Yudhishthir had finally dragged Arjun out of the accursed arena and the relentless gaze of millions, Bheem and the twins were waiting.

Bheem lifted Arjun from Yudhishthir's arms.

"You--you look like a vampire, jyesht," he said in a tone of forced light-heartedness.

Yudhishthir touched his face. His fingers came away red.

"I will kill the King of Anga with my bare arms tomorrow," added Bheem.

"It was not his fault," said Yudhishthir mechanically.

Sahadev nodded wistfully. "It could have been much worse if the King of Anga had actually been trying to wound. Much worse, Bhrata Bheem. What was wrong with Bhrata Arjun, do you think?"

"I expect we will find out eventually, but none of you are to ask a single question about this to Arjun, all right?" 

Yudhishthir waited for all three to assent.

"Uncle Vidur instructed us to take him to the infirmary." Nakul felt the wound on the side of Arjun's head. "It is nothing too serious, he will be okay within a day or two, jyesht."

"Yes, I know."

But it depended on how you defined 'okay.'

Chapter Text

Karna's pov

For the next couple of days, happiness and triumph came easy in the Kaurava quarters in the palace. There were celebratory feasts, charity camps, guest offerings. Karna felt a new respect from the servants whenever he walked down a corridor. He even felt an, albeit somewhat grudging respect from Hastinapur's royal elders. But the grudge was there.

The King and the Queen were fond of him, but undoubtedly they were fonder of their nephew. The fact that Duryodhan took the result at the arena to be one of the greatest victories in his life did not imply it was the result they had wanted.

"It does not matter," said Duryodhan impatiently when Karna mentioned it. "Of course Mother and Father were supporting Arjun. You know what a suck-up Arjun is, right? They would probably support him in a duel with me, too."

"That's not true," said Karna, shocked. "Your father loves you very much--"

"It was a joke." Duryodhan rolled his eyes. "Stop overthinking and come and have some cake."

"Cake is all we have been having for three hours."

"Well, I was bored of the kheer and the sweets. Come up with an alternative that is not kheer, sweets or cake."

"Or maybe stop gobbling for half an evening," suggested Karna.

Duryodhan stuffed a huge piece of honey cake into Karna's mouth to shut him up. Vikarna ran in promptly to join in, attacking Duryodhan, and Karna's misgivings were forgotten for the time being.

In time, he came to accept that you could win respect in your rival's kingdom and family; you could not win love.

********************

Once he was at peace with it, the celebrations became brighter for Karna.

Yet he often found himself looking around while alighting stairs or in the shadows when he sneaked in the dark, places where Arjun most often caught up with him.

But Arjun was still in the infirmary, and Karna felt his absence, even if he had never really acknowledged his rival. His constant presence had become normal.

To his surprise, he actually missed Arjun.

And maybe he was a tiny bit worried. The last time he had seen Arjun, he had been unconscious in his older brother's arms. Everyone knew it was nothing serious, but all the same, if he could ask someone after his health--ask simply if he was okay--

But there was no one. The people who he spent his time with would never visit the infirmary and the ones who did visit the infirmary would not take kindly to his concern.

Could things ever be normal again between him and Arjun? Karna wondered. It had not been anything serious--Arjun was not fatally injured and would recover, soon, and Karna had not meant to injure him in the first place.

Maybe he could go and tell Arjun he had not.

But then he thought from Arjun's point of view. It was easy for victors to make peace. For the losing side, peace would always taste the bitterest of all.

If he had been the one defeated the way Arjun had been, he would have left Hastinapur in the dark. He would never want to come across anyone who had witnessed the contest. Least of all his opponent. Arjun could not leave Hastinapur, but he would not be able to help wanting to avoid him.

There was no going back, Karna supposed.

The realization was immediately accompanied by the conviction that he had done something horribly wrong, and again, as had happened so often on loop lately, Karna had to keep telling himself he had simply defeated an opponent in a duel without even intending to injure him--he had not done anything wrong.

********************

Finally, it as Duhsala Karna turned to for news from the infirmary.

"How is Arjun?"

Even if there was accusation in her heart, Duhsala hid it.

"Better, Nakul said. But not as well as they would like him to be."

Karna thanked her and decided it was time to leave the palace.

*******************

He hesitated before entering the charioteers' community. It was his family, but he could not help thinking, often, that his family did not love him more when he had had a big victory. In fact, he had told his parents and Vrushali not to visit the arena that day at all. He hoped they had abided by that wish...

He met Vrushali first.

"Congratulations on your victory, Karna," she said.

"Thanks--did you come to--?"

Vrushali shook her head. "And I am glad I did not, too. The people here have been saying it ended in rather a bloody manner. How is Arjun?"

"He's better, I heard," said Karna glumly. "I can't say."

"You did not talk to him after--?"

"Of course not, how can I?"

Vrushali nodded. Karna got her disapproval anyway.

"You are not happy, are you?" he asked.

"Are you?"

"I am. Of course I am happy."

"I understand," said Vrushali. Her voice was pleasant enough, but the underlying disapproval made Karna feel about three feet tall.

"But Vrushali, I did not mean to injure him--I swear I only wanted to disarm him, you can ask anyone who understands archery, it was Arjun's fault that he--"

"Why do you think I would doubt your word, Karna? It was Arjun's fault that he--?"

"He ducked like an idiot and took the blow on his head. It was so stupid, it almost seemed deliberate," said Karna resentfully.

"But he is an archer. He would have understood you did not mean to injure him seriously, would he not?" said Vrushali.

"Undoubtedly."

"Then why have you not gone and spoken to him?" asked Vrushali in exasperation.

Karna tried his best to explain to her, a non-warrior human being, how warriors thought and felt. How if someone went to visit his opponent after defeating him squarely, it could only be mockery, and would make things worse. Vrushali's disapproval, to his hopeful eyes, was thawing a little.

They were distracted by a young man around their age entering the yard and knocking and entering into Vrushali's house.

"Who is that?" asked Karna.

"He's Digvijay--you remember him? He stays across from the field--" Vrushali pointed. "He used to hang out with us sometimes, remember?"

Karna recalled a vague memory. Digvijay had been an acquaintance in their charioteers' children community--none of whom Karna had ever got along with except Vrushali. It had stemmed, of course, from how all of them thought it was ridiculous for someone of their caste to spend all his free time shooting targets.

"What is he, er, doing here?" he asked cautiously.

"I have no idea. He comes to talk to father sometimes."

A terrifying sentence in Arjun's voice rang in Karna's ears.

'Go and tell Di. And then ask for her hand to her parents before someone else does. You never know how many of them are waiting to.'

"Listen, Vrushali--Vrush--"

All his life, he had double-thought and triple-thought every step before since they had had so many chances of backfiring. He had never taken an impulsive decision.

"What?" asked Vrushali.

Would it be right to tempt destiny by trying something he had never tried in the most important step of his life?

"Karna, what?"

"I wondered if--do you want to--do you want us to--get married?"

Vrushali almost tripped over a boulder. Heart in his throat, Karna steadied her.

"What on earth brought that on?" she asked.

"It was a yes or no question--"

"Whose answer you already know." Vrushali took his hands. "Yes, Karna. Yes."

Chapter Text

Arjun's pov

An arrow grazed a shoulder. Bright, bright red blood squirted out of it.

Then the world was unusually dim. Blurred. The shapes around were distorted. The shouts were indistinct.

The only clear-cut form was his older brother's, drawing his bowstring opposite him. Clearer than his body was the loathing on his face.

His older brother was shooting at him.

He needed to shoot back, to intercept the arrows. But the arrows disintegrated to dust when he tried to target them. Their trajectories were blurred. He could not aim at dust. He could not dodge dust.

What kind of a world was this, where hatred was tangible and arrows were not?

Now there were gashes on his body, gashes made by dust. The dust, he thought, originated from the hatred, and the hatred, from his older brother.

But his older brother did not know he was his older brother. Nobody but him knew. It was a duel between rivals to them. It was a duel between brothers to him.

It was not the same.

Even to his other brothers. They would be wondering why he could not aim.

To them the arrows would be arrows. They would not be dust.

A blast of dust drifted over towards his arm.

His bow.

He could not let hatred touch his bow.

He pulled his bow away.

"No, Parth!" a friend's voice warned.

"Madhav--"

He ducked.

"MADHAV!"

His own scream jerked Arjun awake.

***************

"Arjun--Arjun..."

"Madhav?"

"Madhav isn't here yet," a soft, soothing voice said. "He'll be here soon...he's on the way..."

Hands caught his shoulder and attempted to make him lie down again. Arjun squirmed away.

"Don't jerk your head so much, my dear."

Only one person called him that. Arjun's vision focused bit by bit to reveal a face beside his, whose eyes were a bit teary.

"What happened, jyesht?"

Yudhishthir shook his head. "How do you feel?"

"Is he awake?" Sahadev came bustling over and set a bowl down on the table bedside the bed and handed him a glass. "All right, drink this first, Bhrata Arjun."

Arjun frowned and took a sip.

It tasted awful.

Yudhishthir caught his hand before he could push it away.

"Stop make faces and drink. It's ten year olds who fuss about medicine."

Arjun could not fight his persistence, so he ended up swallowing the contents of the glass whole. By then Sahadev had brought the bowl to his mouth. This wasn't as bad.

Nakul turned up after a bit and ran his hands over Arjun's head.

"Most of the bleeding has stopped," he pronounced. "Now you just need to wake on time to eat. You've been sleeping two days straight, Bhrata Arjun."

"Go and call Bheem, Nakul," Yudhishthir said.

"Where is he?" asked Arjun.

"He went to sleep for a while outside..."

The look Bheem gave him when he barreled in told Arjun he had been sick with worry. That made him feel sick, too.

Not only had he lost the duel and shamed everyone who cared about him--foremost, his brothers, because his mother and Panchali would not be back from Varanavat yet--he had also worried them out of their wits.

He must not fall asleep again. 

He might drift into that world.

The very idea was paralyzing.

But two hours later, sleep cast an impregnable grip on him. No matter how hard he fought it, his mind passed from the world where his brothers sat with him in the infirmary to the one where hatred was tangible and arrows were dust in the arena.

******************

How was anyone expected to fight dust?

It was everywhere, piercing him everywhere, and then there was his older brother opposite him, from whom the dust emanated.

"Madhav," was the only one he could call. "Madhav, please--where are you?"

"Parth."

"Where are you?" he asked again.

"Right here..." Someone shook his shoulder. "I'm right here--if you wake up, Parth."

That was the only thing which, it turned out, could break him out of that world.

*******************

"What have you done to yourself?" Madhav asked, helping him sit up.

"I don't know," said Arjun.

"You did not tell him, did you?"

Arjun shook his head and looked around. All four of his brothers seemed to have left to let him talk in peace to Madhav.

"Why not?" demanded Madhav.

"I don't know," again.

His friend gave him a stare.

"He--he didn't want to know," Arjun said finally.

Madhav did not look satisfied, but he changed the topic to funnier ones like his recent fight with a demon army. Though Arjun find it impossible to laugh, he might have smiled once or twice.

With Madhav at his side, it was much easier to wake up when he fell asleep. Every time he came around, Madhav would be present by fail. Madhav with his cheery smile and steady eyes.

"You have to get up quickly now, Parth," he said at some point.

"No, I cannot."

Krishan pulled Arjun's cheek a trifle harder than necessary. "Why the hell not?"

"I can't--can't face the world."

"You will face the world fine," said Krishna drily. "Barring one human in it."

Arjun chose to pass commenting on that.

"Look, you are never going to break out of these nightmares if you do not have the will to get up again."

"I don't have it."

"Parth--" 

Madhav might have started giving him the sermon about how warriors could not harbour such weaknesses inside them, but Arjun did not know. The intangible world was back.

Chapter Text

Yudhishthir's pov

The days of Arjun passing in and out of consciousness, thrashing and screaming, most often Madhav's name were the first ones Yudhishthir truly wished to delete from his life.

After Madhav came, the screams became a little less bloodcurdling. He was good at calming Arjun down swiftly. It made Yudhishthir feel a complete failure as an elder brother, even if he was grateful to Madhav. 

Their mother and Panchali were still away in Varanavat, though they were expected to return soon, and Yudhishthir had decided with Pitamah not to send ahead a message to them. He had been hoping Arjun would be up and about by then, but his recovery was stagnant.

Nakul and Sahadev were growing desperate. The wound on Arjun's head was halfway healed, and should not be enough to plunge him into unconsciousness as often as it did.

"What is wrong with him?" Bheem asked Madhav in anguish.

"He is not recovering because it is not the physical wounds." Madhav, in true Madhav-style, gave an answer which passed over Yudhishthir's head and only got him more worried.

Inside the palace and outside, the Karna-Arjun duel and Arjun's subsequent disappearance was the primary talking point of everyone.

People said it was because Arjun did not know how to lose and could not handle the humiliation of it, but Yudhishthir knew better. Arjun had lost plenty of times in his lifetime. But he recovered from defeat and bounced back so quickly, he always managed to ensnare the bigger victory. He knew to deal with defeat better than anyone Yudhishthir knew. 

He had never broken down like this.

Yudhishthir spent half the day at Arjun's bedside, soothing his forehead and holding back the constant lump in his throat. During the other half, he kept checking on Bheem, Nakul and Sahadev, who were insensible with fear by now. The lump in his throat went away, then.

The day Kunti and Panchali were supposed to return, Yudhishthir encouraged Bheem and the twins to go and receive them; they had been locked up in the infirmary far too long.

They all protested.

"What if Bhrata Arjun needs something?" asked Nakul.

"I will be here," said Yudhishthir. 

"You are not a medic, jyesht."

Sahadev subsided under Yudhishthir's stern gaze.

"Someone ought to be there to receive Maa. Go without worrying...I will not leave Arjun for one moment--look, I will go in right now." Yudhishthir categorically stepped halfway through the door of the infirmary. 

It was the first time in ages they shared a laugh. Bheem, Nakul and Sahadev conceded, bid him farewell and set off. Yudhishthir turned into the infirmary and found Arjun and Krishna talking.

Arjun was smiling a little; though it was a sad one, Yudhishthir paused to savour the sight. It was so rare these days, it felt like a treasure.

"It does not matter, Madhav, he will never know. This time I will confront Maa, I will tell her that since she has not cared to tell us all these years, she can never tell, ever--"

"What if when she comes back, the shock of what happened at the arena forces the truth out of her before you get hold of her?" asked Madhav in his trademark teasing way.

"Surely she will come to visit me first."

"You never know," said Madhav darkly. "You better get up and go to receive her."

Arjun's smile disappeared. The haunted, frightened, wide-eyed look was back.

Yudhishthir felt his shoulders slump. He did not even care what truth they were talking about; this uncharacteristic expression of his fearless brother's had now begun to terrify him out of his wits.

For the first time, he considered that Arjun might never regain his courage again.

Their world would never be right again.

Yudhishthir's righteousness, Bheem's strength, Arjun's courage, Nakul's candor and Sahadev's perspective. Maa always said they were the pillars of their family.

"Let Maa do whatever she wants," said Arjun in  "It will make no difference to Bhrata Bheem and the twins. We already have our jyesht. They--we--will never consider the King of Anga our jyesht. I never realized how stupid it was when I already have a big brother," he ended in a whisper.

Yudhishthir might have made a convulsive movement. Madhav looked up and saw him. Arjun, who was facing opposite from the door, did not.

Yudhishthir might also have looked a little more stunned than he felt, because Madhav stood up.

"Wait, I'll be back in a minute."

He had pulled Yudhishthir out of the door before Arjun could look around.

"What was he talking about?" asked Yudhishthir, for what he had made of that conversation could not be the actual truth, and added testily, "Give a straight answer for once, please."

Madhav told him the King of Anga was Kunti's firstborn. Their elder brother. That Arjun was the only one among the six who knew it. And that he had fought in the arena in spite of knowing--or not been able to fight because of knowing.

"That is what is ailing him?" said Yudhishthir, dumbstruck. "He--heavens--why did he not tell us? Is he crazy?"

Madhav shrugged. "What do you think?"

Yudhishthir buried his head in his hands.

His stupid brother--calling on such devastation upon himself--of course he was not healing, of course his wounds were not physical. He was so broken, Yudhishthir wondered if he could ever heal.

You idiot, Arjun, he thought in despair. What am I to do with you?

It was despair so acute it shattered something inside Yudhishthir. Later, he would realize it was control.

For that was the dharma of elder brothers: a younger brother's pain was the only thing that was powerful enough to change their very existence. Which needed no cultivation. Which was born the moment their younger brother was born.

He sprinted for the stables and did not stop till he alighted inside the royal palace of Anga.

******************

"Crown Prince Yudhishthir," greeted someone in resplendent attire. "Are you here for the wedding?"

"Whose wedding?" asked Yudhishthir without thinking.

The servants gave him strange looks.

"The King of Anga's wedding, Yuvraj," one of them said timidly.

Why on earth would the King of Anga have his wedding today of all days? thought Yudhishthir wildly.

Breaking into a wedding with a fearful question was not Yudhishthir's cup of tea. A week ago, he would never have done it. His own requirement could wait; he could not possibly ruin someone's wedding. Today:

"Yes, I am here for the wedding," he said.

Inside the wedding pavilion, Yudhishthir spotted a bunch of their cousins, also all dressed up.

"Vikarna!" he called. "Where is the King of Anga?"

"Why, jyesht?" asked Vikarna in surprise.

"WHERE IS THE KING OF ANGA?"

Vikarna dropped whatever he was holding. "He would be somewhere there--" He pointed.

Yudhishthir pushed through the crowds, heedless. Everyone stared in amazement after the dignified Crown Prince of Hastinapur, who had never been known to act without restraint, rushing blindly, shoving people out of the way, his clothes rumpled and hair standing on the end and eyes red from not moving from the same spot for three days, and not sleeping.

But at that moment, he was not the Crown Prince. He was only an elder brother. So the judging looks did not reach him, and he slowed down only when near the end of the pavilion, he found the bride and the groom.

"Angaraj!"

Karna turned, and looked completely nonplussed.

"Yuvraj Yudhishthir--?"

"Angaraj," gasped Yudhishthir. "Are you your parents' biological son?"

Chapter Text

Karna's pov

"What?" said Karna incredulously. "Of course I am my parents' biological son."

"Have you ever asked them?" Yudhishthir demanded.

"No, I have not!" said Karna, affronted. "Have you asked yours? Do people generally ask this of their parents?" 

He turned to Vrushali, whose jaw was hanging open.

"What exactly do you want?" Karna asked Yudhishthir brusquely.

"The--the thing is," Yudhishthir fumbled. "I learnt something rather disturbing today. Arjun--er, seems to think--you were born to our mother--which--which makes you our brother--"

Karna stared.

"--and," Yudhishthir hastened to add. "Lord Krishna confirmed it. So I guess it is true."

"Your mother?" asked Vrushali, since Karna was still silent. "The Queen Mother?" 

Yudhishthir nodded.

Then all three of them were silent again, because honestly, what was anyone supposed to say?

"So, er--" Vrushali caught Karna's arm and rubbed it in what she must have meant to be a soothing manner. "Have Radha Maa or Father ever mentioned anything of this sort?"

"No," said Karna, quite rudely, and immediately regretted taking that tone with her.

What right did Yudhishthir have of coming up with nonsense like this on his wedding anyway that made him speak harshly to his wife-to-be?

"You are mistaken, Yuvraj, kindly excuse us," he said in a lofty voice, and pulled at Vrushali's hand to leave.

Vrushali pulled him back.

"Are you not going to confirm?" she asked.

"No. I bear no responsibility to the beliefs of the Crown Prince's family."

"If you are the Queen Mother's son, you kind of do," pointed out Vrushali.

Yudhishthir's look, in general, was a bit wild, like he had rampaged in a forest for days. He did not usually look like this. He also looked genuinely disconsolate. 

Duryodhan would look the same if Dussashan had been in the infirmary for four days, Karna supposed.

He did not even want to consider what Yudhishthir was saying might be true, but under the combined gazes of his wife and the Crown Prince, he gritted his teeth and led the way over to his parents.

"I have a stupid question, Radha Maa," he said. "And I am only asking because the Crown Prince wishes me to and I do not want to strike up an enmity with him."

"Yes?" said Radha Maa in astonishment.

Karna tried to keep up his confident demeanor. "I--I am--" He failed. "--I am your son, right?"

Adhirath and Radha were supposed to have laughed at the question.

Their silence, hence, was as good as an answer.

*****************

The next hour was a blur.

Later, Karna remembered Radha Maa crying and assuring him she was in mother in every sense but the biological one, Adhirath stoically describing how they had found him floating him a wicker basket in the Ganga, Vrushali's eyes shining with unshed tears as she put a fiercely protective arm around his shivering shoulders.

He remembered Yudhishthir pacing in the background, his brows knitted together: a harsh and unforgiving intrusion amidst Karna's family falling apart. 

I am Radha Maa's son. I am Radha Maa's son. The Queen Mother is no one to me.

Her sons are no one to me.

Karna kept himself convinced till Radha Maa said, "We guessed at some point you had been born into a great Ksatriya family--you were natural with the bow and arrow. We even thought--" She broke down. 

"We thought you were as natural," Adhirath completed quietly, "as I had seen Prince Arjun as a child."

Arjun.

Arjun backing away from a fight in the brawl between the Pandavas and Kauravas the moment he had faced him.

Arjun trying to win his approval with disarmingly innocent words. 'Except that Anga is a changed city since you became its King--we visited it several times when we were at the gurukul, it was never so nice before!'

Arjun asking irrelevant questions with pressing urgency. 'Why do you consider us enemies?'

Arjun's mysterious comments that made no sense after the Karna stopped the polyandrous marriage. 'After today, I will certainly blindly follow my eldest brother to the end of the world.'

Arjun pleading to call of the duel. 'Do you remember, King of Anga, my mother once said--we are not enemies, we are like--like--your brothers--'

Arjun fighting so badly in the arena it almost seemed deliberate. Arjun crumpled on the ground, bleeding. Arjun shielding himself from the crowd in Yudhishthir's arms.

"Oh, gods," breathed Karna, the full horror of it hitting him finally. "What have I done?"

At that, Yudhishthir's frigid stance vanished, and the look he gave Karna could only be called imploration.

******************

"Isn't Arjun getting better?" asked Vrushali, for that could be the only reason why Yudhishthir looked so dangerously on the verge of tears.

"No--" Now Yudhishthir sounded wild, too. "He is going crazy with grief--he's not acting like himself--we have no idea how to--"

He turned to Karna again, this time with a scrutinizing gaze. Karna wondered how much of the turmoil he was feeling showed on his face.

"Do you still hate Arjun, King of Anga?" he asked.

"I never hated him," said Karna.

"Then can you do something, j-jyesht?" Before Karna could grapple with that tag, Yudhishthir, probably for the first time ever in his life, began to sob defenselessly. "Can't you do something?"

*****************

Omniscient pov

Arjun had been right: the four of them had an elder brother.

Yudhishthir didn't.

Yudhishthir, who had learnt to hold himself together from the day their father died, who had held himself together so effectively all his life that it had never occurred to him he could give in, too. Yudhishthir, who was so versed in the role of being the wall that even when his heart broke at his brother's state, he had only thought of comforting the four of them and never realized he was on the verge of a breakdown, too.

So at the first opportunity he got, he automatically turned over the responsibility of holding it together, and broke down.

*****************

Who do you turn over all responsibility to?

Someone older than you; someone in whose capability you have complete faith; someone you consider family.

Yudhishthir had never had anyone such in his life.

*****************

Now he had. And he had, of course, buckled against the right support. He had buckled against his elder brother.

His elder brother, who, now that he had discovered he was the elder brother, axiomatically became the wall who would never break.

*****************

Karna's pov

The shock and the misery of the discovery that his parents were not his real parents and that his real parents had abandoned him, the dismay that his wedding day had turned into a nightmare instead of his life's sweetest memory, the trauma that he had never guessed the reason behind Arjun's warmth and had only returned coldness, everything Karna felt was superseded by Yudhishthir's grief.

"Don't worry," he told his brother gruffly. "I am sure we can do something."

"Like--like what?"

Karna turned to his wife, hoping she would have a miraculous solution as usual.

This time she did not have a miraculous solution, but she did have a solution.

"Go to Hastinapur," she said, "immediately. And talk to the poor child."

"How can I--how can I--" said Karna in horror. "--face Arjun after this?"

"Karna," said Vrushali in a tremendous voice. "The other day you told me Arjun cannot face you since you humiliated him in the arena. Now you tell me you cannot face Arjun for the same reason. So what do you two do--never talk to each other again?"

She sounded so fierce, Karna backed away.

"He is your little brother, Karna," she said in a much gentler tone. "I know it's hard--and it's so messed up--but--Arjun can never recover from this if you do not try. And his brothers--your brothers--" She indicated at their companion.

Yudhishthir was still in pieces. Karna pulled himself together and extended a tentative hand to grasp his arm.

"Come on, Yudhishthir--Arjun is going to be okay. I promise I will not leave Hastinapur till he is."

Yudhishthir looked at him, stunned, and then to Vrushali, whose husband-to-be was promising to stay in another kingdom for days if necessary when they had been due to get married in less than hour.

Vrushali nodded at Karna approvingly.

Her approval was all he ever needed.

*****************

Over the horse ride to Hastinapur, Karna forgot about the wedding altogether.

He only thought of Arjun's timid, earnest efforts he had persisted in rebuffing, and he thought of the innocent smile he had persisted in seeing as a weapon for manipulation.

******************

When they reached the infirmary of the Hastinapur palace, Karna asked Yudhishthir to wait; this was something he had to deal with alone, if at all.

Yudhishthir sat down on the steps. Karna walked down the corridor and found the door.

"Now wait a minute, King of Anga."

Karna turned and found Krishna staring him down.

"You have a choice whether to go in. You may choose not to. But if you do..."

Karna wondered what on earth he had done to garner a look like that.

"Keep in mind that Arjun is dearer to me than anything in this world. If you choose to go in and do anything to hurt him, you will be making me an enemy for life. You do not want to make an enemy of the Lord of the Universe."

The unfairness of the warning was what finally broke through Karna's daze.

"Trust me, Lord of the Universe," he retorted. "I would not have left my wedding halfway and traveled fifty miles if I wished to hurt your dearest friend. I am sure I could have found an opportunity later."

Krishna met his glower with a lopsided grin.

"You have got a point," he admitted in a drawl. "Go in, then."

"Thank you for the permission," Karna said in his most sarcastic voice and stomped into the infirmary.

*****************

His indignation was replaced with remorse when he saw the bandage on the side of his sleeping brother's head.

As he went closer, something else replaced the remorse.

He did not recognize it till he knelt down beside the bed and lowered a shaking hand to Arjun's head.

That was when he knew that the moment he had seen his younger brother, knowing him to be his younger brother, he had loved him instantly.

******************

Karna avoided looking at the bandage. His hands were still shaking as he ran them over his brother's hair and cheeks as lightly as he could.

He did not want to wake Arjun up; his nerves were stretched thin at the thought of him waking up. But he could not resist indulging in the tiniest gesture of affection, either.

He could have spent his life kneeling on the floor and caressing his brother's head. He got only five minutes, however, before Arjun stirred.

Chapter Text

Arjun's pov

Amidst arrows disintegrating to dust and enveloping him with hatred, Arjun woke up to someone stroking his head.

"Jyesht--" he said automatically as he opened his eyes.

Then, he did find his jyesht, but not the one he had expected.

******************

Arjun moved out of range of Karna's arm convulsively.

"What--what are you doing here?" he asked in horror.

"I came to tell you how sorry I am," said Karna, "in the hope that you may forgive me."

"Sorry?" Arjun frowned. "Why would you be sorry for defeating someone in a duel?"

Karna's eyes moved to the side of Arjun's head.

Arjun wished there was no bandage there, a lingering reminder of how much he had disgraced himself.

"You did not even try to cause any serious injury," he said in as dignified a tone as he could manage. "There is no need for you to apologize, King of Anga. I bear no ill-feeling towards you."

"That was not what I meant," said Karna quietly. "I am sorry for treating my younger brother the way I did."

They stared at each other in silence. Arjun found his own consternation mirrored in his brother's.

For some time, Arjun forgot everything that had transpired in the past year. He forgot how determined he had been a few hours ago that he would ensure Karna never got to know of the truth. He forgot the duel; he forgot the nightmares; he forgot the hatred his brother had from him.

All Arjun knew was that Karna had called him his younger brother.

"How do you know?" he croaked at last.

Karna looked relieved; Arjun could not imagine why.

"Yudhishthir told me. He overheard you talking to Krishna. Just like you overheard your mother? You know, you guys should learn to keep an eye on the door if you want to keep secrets." 

Just as Arjun returned Karna's apprehensive smile, he remembered it all again.

He was not going to accept the charity of friendliness from someone who had always held him in contempt. 

He had lost all his pride in the arena, but maybe a sliver of it could still be salvaged.

"There is no need to apologize for that, either," he said coolly. "I still bear no ill-feeling towards you."

Karna's smile faded, too.

"Angaraj," Arjun added for good measure.

"I bear enough ill-feeling towards myself for the both of us," said Karna unexpectedly. "Look, Arjun--I know there is nothing that's going to take it all back--but can you please at least stop calling me Angaraj?"

"You are the King of Anga as far as we are concerned. We cannot call you our older brother, because we already have one."

"Yudhishthir called me his older brother earlier today."

Did he sound teasing?

Arjun scowled.

"Yes, jyesht is well-known for having no opinion of his own," he said with a derision he did not feel. "He would go and hug Duryodhan if Duryodhan would let him. He thinks he has been born simply as an instrument to uphold all the dharma in this world, whatever that means."

"Your jyesht is much more than that," said Karna in a strange voice.

"You don't know anything about him!" cried Arjun. "You--you're always hanging around with Duryodhan and Uncle Shakuni--and now you--you tell me about my jyesht?"

Karna could have fought back against the accusation which sounded unfair even to Arjun's ears, but he only looked away from Arjun's burning gaze.

"I wish you had told me earlier, Arjun..."

Arjun felt water filling his lungs. It turned into ice inside his heart.

"It was not like I did not try, King of Anga," he said haughtily. "But you would cut off your armour and earrings before you call me your brother--so--" He looked pointedly at Karna's kawach and kundal. "--as per this dharma you and jyesht are so fond of, you cannot falsify your own words. You cannot call me your brother."

Karna blinked.

"Arjun, I said it before I knew the truth--of course I would never have said that if I knew--"

"Too bad," said Arjun fiercely.

His brother's face was ashen.

"Or maybe it is a convenient way out," said Arjun under his breath. "Since you are bound by your oath, you do not need to act on the knowledge at all, and nobody will blame you."

"Act on the knowledge? What do you mean by acting on the knowledge?"

"You know," said Arjun. "Accepting your worst enemies as your brothers. I cannot imagine anything more nightmarish."

"When did I ever say I hated you five?" said Karna, nettled.

Arjun's laugh was more out-of-control than he would have liked.

"When did you not say it?" he demanded. "We are the bane of Duryodhan's existence, are we not?"

"Duroydhan's--not mine--"

"Really, Angaraj, there is no need to go back on your stance now that jyesht has done as stupid a thing as tell you--why he could not have told me--"

"Arjun," interrupted Karna. "I am glad he did. It would have been a misfortune upon us all if he did not--there could have been more incidents like the duel in the future. It could be worse than the duel."

"Surely not worse than the duel," said Arjun in a monotone.

"I cannot tell you how much I regret it," said Karna in a desperate manner. "If I could go back in time, I would never--imagine--" He looked at Arjun's head wound again and spoke in a choked tone. "Why did you not tell me, Arjun?"

"Again I remind you of your oath."

"It was not an oath." Karna stood up impatiently. "Will you stop holding on to that stupid thing I said?"

"No," said Arjun. "If, when you did not know the truth, you could say something like that, there is no need to accept us as your brothers even after knowing it. I do not wish you to."

Karna's jaw clenched.

"Well, if you think I cannot falsify my oath, I am going to cut off my kawach and kundal and wait for you to ask me to accept you as my brother, Arjun."

"I won't ask," Arjun said, "so save yourself the pain."

"I am still going to try."

Karna produced a knife. Arjun watched him, frowning, wondering where he planned to go with this.

Since he had considered the 'oath' to be unbreakable--because cutting off the kawach and kundal was surely the same as making the sun rise from the west--he did not realize what was going to happen till his brother lifted the knife to his collarbone and the first drops of blood appeared with a slash.

"JYESHT--WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Arjun's scream was strangled as he lunged for the knife in Karna's hand.

For a while, both of them struggled with the knife; then Karna twisted it away. Arjun suddenly found tears in his eyes.

"You called me jyesht." Karna's face crumpled, too. "The breaking of the oath must indeed be working."

"What--don't be ridiculous--" Arjun succeeded in snatching away the knife and clasped it in both hands to keep possession on it.

"Give it back to me," said Karna.

"For what? You are not seriously going to--you can't cut off your kawach and kundal!"

"Try me," said Karna. 

Arjun gaped.

"Since I am not allowed to call you my brother if I own them, you leave me no choice but to cut them off."

"What kind of trickery is this?" demanded Arjun.

"Trickery?" retorted Karna. "You are the one who is hung up on the oath."

"I didn't mean it like th--"

"Give the knife back!"

Arjun clutched at it harder and turned to shield it; as Karna leaned towards him, Arjun noticed the bandage on his brother's shoulder--the wound he had inflicted in the arena.

The knife dropped from his hands as he lifted them to hold his own head to force back the untamed torrent of tears, and failed.

******************

"What?" asked Karna in alarm. He did not even notice the knife within reach. "Arjun, what's wrong? What happened?"

Arjun could not have spoken even if he had tried, he was crying so hard.

This was the reason the arrows had turned to dust surely--this wound on his brother's shoulder--how could he ever have done it? How could he ever justify it to himself?

Arjun pushed away his brother when he attempted to put his arms around him.

"Don't, jyesht--don't--I shot you--I drew your blood--I can't--"

Karna looked entirely bewildered. "When did you draw my blood?"

"Your--your shoulder--"

Karna glanced at his shoulder in bemusement. "This?"

Arjun nodded. His brother seized it and went on.

"If this hurts you so much, Arjun, can you imagine how much this--" He touched Arjun's head gently and indicated at the various other wounds on his body. "--this--this--all these--hurt me?"

"I was not your family when you did this."

"But you are now," pleaded Karna, "aren't you?"

It should have been the easiest thing in the world to say yes, because there was nothing more Arjun wanted. But this was something he could no longer say yes to, because he had already mistreated his pride enough.

Warriors did not accept charity.

Chapter Text

Karna's pov

Arjun's hesitation did not seem a good omen to Karna, but Arjun did not directly brush it off.

"You used to hate me," he said steadily. "Right up to the point you got to know we are brothers. I don't want to be treated nicely just because we are related by blood. It would be a benevolence on your part, no doubt, they already call you one of the most charitable persons in our kingdom--"

Karna did not know whether to laugh or cry.

"This is the farthest thing from benevolence I have ever heard, Arjun."

"You can call it whatever you wish!"

"Look--" Karna pacified. "It is not like I want us to be okay with each other just because we are brothers. If--if Guru Drona had not declared you the best archer in the world and if Duryodhan was not my friend, I would have wanted to be friends with you even if we weren't brothers."

Arjun frowned as he worked that out.

"But of course," continued Karna, encouraged, "since we are brothers, it is absolutely essential to me that we--that we can--think of each other like brothers."

"If you want brothers that badly, you can look for jyesht, Bhrata Bheem and the twins, they were never your enemies."

"I perceived you my--my enemy--" The word hurt so badly now, his protest became uncertain. "--only because of circumstances that never had anything to do with you and me." 

"But you did perceive me your enemy."

"Arjun." Karna took refuge in the same entreaty. "I didn't know..."

"You didn't want to know, jyesht."

"I'm sorry, Arjun--I told you, I'm so sorry--if you can forgive me--"

"It's alright," said Arjun. "I do not think you have anything to apologize for, but if you persist, and if it gives you any peace, I forgive you."

Karna, who had never heard a colder concession, resisted the urge to bury his head in his hands. "You do not look like you forgive me."

"Indeed? Then what will make you think I have forgiven you?" asked Arjun testily. 

"I don't know," said Karna wryly. "Maybe when you actually have forgiven me..."

Arjun's scowl was back.

Karna wished he could shake a bit of stubbornness out of Arjun, but Arjun being upset was undoubtedly justified too. There had been a thousand gestures of Arjun's in the past year that were only nice, but he had kept questioning them at every step. He could have asked once, normally, what the matter was.

Instead, all he had ever asked was 'What are you aiming for?' in tones dripping with suspicion.

"You were right," said Karna finally. "I didn't want to know that Duryodhan's bitterest rivals are my brothers."

Arjun's sad smile didn't reach his eyes. 

"I think you should leave," he said. "If Duryodhan does not know yet, you can leave; jyesht and I will not tell anyone."

Karna was dumbstruck.

"What do you mean by not telling Duryodhan? I will of course tell Duryodhan."

"If you wish for an unnecessary fuss, I don't suppose I can stop you." Arjun sounded mutinous. "It will be the same either way. Duryodhan makes a fuss and forbids you from associating with us, or Duryodhan stays in the dark and normally, you don't associate with us anyway." 

"You want me not to associate with you?"

"I don't have any problem," said Arjun quickly. "You need to think about your precious friend, however. The one whom you consider a saint and we consider a reincarnation of the devil."

"He is not all that bad, Arjun--"

"Certainly," said Arjun. "He is not at all bad. I mean, yes, he did try to poison Bhrata Bheem to death once, but he was only a child of fourteen. And I am sure he is perfectly at peace with jyesht's crowning and is not plotting anything at all."

And then the Varanavat plot flashed in Karna's mind.

Good heavens.

If not for this unexpected turn of events, he would have known of a plot that lead his mother and brothers to be burnt alive.

It was not a cold day, but Karna realized he was shivering violently.

Not telling Duryodhan was no longer an option. 

"From your expression, I gather you are part of the plot, too," said Arjun coldly. "Do go ahead with it. We know what to expect from Duryodhan and his gang."

"It's nothing like that," lied Karna for the greater good. "I will tell Duryodhan the truth anyway. I'm sure we can reach a midway."

"You will always be on his side!" The way Arjun's voice was shaking cancelled out the venom.

"I will always be on your side, too," said Karna warily. "I could not abandon my brothers just like that--just like you could not abandon me even though I was trying my best to build up an enmity--"

"My brothers and I do not want anyone from Duryodhan's side on ours too," said Arjun with a nose in the air manner.

Karna battled with affection and powerlessness. "Well, maybe it is not your decision alone."

Arjun gave him a dirty look.

A movement near the door caught Karna's eyes. It was Krishna, gesturing something at him that seemed like grappling with thin air.

Karna frowned. 

Madhav frowned back, sterner.

So Karna took the last resort that occurred to him.

He caught Arjun in a fight-me-if-you-can grip and hugged him as hard as he possibly could.

Arjun tried to squirm away for a bit. Just as Karna was preparing to prove that he was undoubtedly physically stronger than his brother, keeping aside archery, he found Arjun's arms around his neck and Arjun's head buried in his shoulder.

After the horror of the past few days, that was when Karna finally sobbed, unashamedly.

******************

"Jyesht, what happened?" Arjun's muffled voice was anxious.

"Arjun." Between weeping, Karna kissed the slightly bloody bandage on his brother's head again and again. "Arjun, my anuj...my own anuj..."

He was not fully aware of what he mumbled, and did not think Arjun was either. At some point, Arjun must have dissolved into tears, too.

Karna's shoulder was there to soak in Arjun's tears and Arjun's hair to soak in Karna's, and neither of them let go. 

******************

Karna knew he had interpreted Lord Krishna's message correctly.

All over the ages, human beings would sacrifice their happiness to satisfy their pride. That was why God had left them a conqueror of pride: love.

******************

"Wait--why are you dressed like this?" asked Arjun, pulling away for a moment.

Karna remembered why he was dressed like this. It also occurred to him that not only had he left his wedding pavilion and town, he had also left Vrushali behind. Maybe he should have offered to bring her along...

He wiped his forehead, sighing.

He should definitely have offered to bring her along.

He did not feel like repeating his idiocy to Arjun, so he said, "Ceremony back at Anga."

"You left a ceremony midway?" asked Arjun.

"Yes, your brother turned up with such a news, you see."

"I need to have a word with him," said Arjun grimly. "Where is he anyway, do you know?"

Before Karna could answer, a bustle of voices approached the room. Bheem's laughter rang above all.

Arjun drew in a sharp breath. "The others are coming--they will make you leave unless they know. Can I tell them the truth, jyesht? If they promise not to tell Duryodhan?"

It broke Karna's heart that his brother was so sure he did not want to acknowledge their shared blood, because he had never wanted to keep it a secret at all.

But Arjun was still calling him jyesht and did not appear mad anymore. And...

One step at a time, they said.

"I'll tell them," Karna offered with the good-will of shouldering a burden of his younger brother's.

He stood up, expecting Bheem and the twins, hopefully with Yudhishthir.

Instead, the first person to enter the room was the one person who should have shouldered all the burdens and had shouldered none--

Their mother.

Chapter Text

Arjun's pov

Karna shot to his feet. Arjun was surprised to see how white his face was.

"I will go and tell Duryodhan first," he muttered quickly. "I'll be back in a few hours, Arjun--"

Arjun made his disapproval known vehemently by tightening his fingers around Karna's elbow.

"No, jyesht--why can it not wait a bit?"

"I have to go--Arjun, I have to go right now!" 

Karna could have twisted his arm out of Arjun's grasp, of course, but for some reason, he chose to wait till Arjun let him go.

Confused and rather hurt, Arjun watched him dash across the room and skirt around Kunti, Draupadi, Yudhishthir, Bheem and the twins at the door.

"What the devil are you doing here, King of Anga?" asked Bheem, more amazed than angry.

Karna did not wait to reply.

Only after he had disappeared, leaving Kunti behind looking like she had taken a blow on her face did Arjun realize why his brother had been running.

Their mother had some very important questions to answer. 

******************

Bheem, Nakul and Sahadev turned on Arjun.

"What has been going on, Bhrata Arjun?" asked Nakul. "What did he want?"

"Who let him in?" said Sahadev.

"I can still catch up with him and show him the consequences of daring to come here after what he did--" Bheem clenched a fist as trial.

Arjun and Yudhishthir both spoke in raised voices.

"It is not like--" 

"Brothers--"

But Kunti's quiet words made them all fall silent.

"Sit down, all of you."

*****************

Kunti rushed to Arjun's bedside to pull him into her arms. Panchali came to sit on the edge of his bed.

"We heard what happened. Are you okay, my child?" Kunti asked anxiously.

"Yes, Maa, I--" 

His mother kissed the bandage on his head the exact same way his brother had been doing minutes ago. Arjun's heart jumped and sank at the same time.

"But, Maa--the King of Anga--"

Kunti appeared not to hear him. "I am so sorry, Arjun. I am so sorry. I could have stopped it all..."

"I know," said Arjun. "I know...your...your secret."

His mother looked at him for a long moment.

"You know?" she asked at last, and glanced around the room. "Do they all know?"

"No, just me and...jyesht, er, both of them."

"Karna knows?" This was the most anguished whisper of all.

"Not very long, though, he has just known for a couple of hours," said Arjun. "Why did you keep it from all of us, Maa?"

His mother buried her head in her arms, but not quick enough to hide her tears. "I am so sorry..."

"Why are you saying sorry, Maa?" asked Nakul, distressed.

"What's going on?" Panchali demanded to Arjun.

Kunti lifted her head.

"There is a story I need to tell you."

*******************

"Thirty years ago, when Sage Durvasa visited my father's kingdom, I was entrusted with the responsibility of waiting on him. For two years, I dedicated myself completely to taking care of him. He was not the easiest of guests, but I made sure I put up with all his demands with good grace and to the best of my efforts, and eventually, by the time of his departure from Kuntibhoj came, we had become very fond of each other."

"Then he gave you the mantra!" said Nakul, the way he would do when he was a ten-year-old listening to their favourite story of their mother's.

Kunti tousled his hair.

"Yes, he gave me a mantra, which would allow me to invoke any God and beget a child from him, imbibed by His qualities."

"Then you invoked Dharma Raj," egged on Bheem, not to be left behind, "and asked for jyesht."

"No," said Kunti. "The story I told you had a chapter missing."

*******************

Yudhishthir and Arjun exchanged a grim sort of smile as their brothers exclaimed in surprise. Their mother raised a hand to make them shut up.

"After Sage Durvasa had left, I was seized with curiosity. What kind of a mantra was this? Could I really invoke any God with it? Could I summon the Sun Himself?

"I could not resist trying it out. I forgot the second part of the mantra, the part about begetting a child. I simply called upon Lord Surya."

Bheem, Nakul and Sahadev gazed at her, open-mouthed.

"That part, it transpired, was inevitable for the mantra. The next thing I knew, I, a teenaged princess, was a mother with an infant in her arms. That was when it hit me, what I had done. How my unthinking act had doomed me and my son.

"I had my father's reputation to protect, and my own. The society would never accept an unwed mother. My father would be defamed for it. His kingdom would be defamed. I would be an outcast for life.

"And I chose the easy way out. The coward's way. I abandoned my son to Mother Ganga. I never knew what became of him. Till--"

"This--this part of the story is real, Maa?" asked Sahadev.

"Yes," said Kunti. "My firstborn son is as real as you five are. I never knew of him till a year ago, Arjun was challenged by a stranger in the arena."

Reluctant, horrified realization dawned on Bheem, Draupadi and the twins' faces.

"I recognized him by his armour and earrings. How many mortals have you known to have such a possession? Not a single other.

"Those were what he had been born with, a gift from his father. That was when I knew what had become of my son. Brought up by a charioteer's family, so unlike my other five, but unable to suppress his affinity to the bow and arrow, just like my--" She looked at Arjun, who found tears in her eyes and his own. "--my Arjun."

"Arjun knew this story?" Bheem turned to him. "That is why you--in the arena--"

Arjun tried to speak through the constriction in his throat, but Yudhishthir stepped in.

"Yes. Arjun overheard Maa speaking with her maidservant one day. Today, I heard him speaking of it to Madhav. So I--I went to Anga to tell him."

"To tell him he is our brother?" Sahadev turned to their mother helplessly. "The King of Anga is our brother?"

"Yes, the King of Anga is your brother. Your eldest brother."

The silence that followed Kunti's story was heavy with the years lost to the twists of destiny.

*******************

Madhav came in to break the gloom of the party.

"Up you all get," he said cheerfully. "There is a fair in the next village and some of the royalty ought to attend. Come on, Aunt--" He pulled Kunti up by her shoulders. "And you," he looked at Arjun owlishly.

"But Madhav--jy--" Arjun looked at Yudhishthir, wondering how he was supposed to address his older brothers now. "The King of Anga said he will be back in a few hours..."

"We will be back before he sets off from Anga," assured Madhav. "Get up this instant."

Arjun jumped out of bed for the first time in days.

*******************

Yudhishthir's pov

Yudhishthir, maybe because he had already known the climax of their mother's story, had spent most of the time studying Arjun, and him standing up with zest at the end made all his brothers and Madhav, who had borne the brunt of his inactivity, smile.

It was an unforgettable journey to the fair for Yudhishthir.

Arjun, on his feet again. Arjun, with the shine in his eyes back. Arjun, enveloping their mother in a hug. Arjun, poking fun at Bheem. Arjun, laughing with the twins. Arjun, completing Madhav's sentences. Arjun, exchanging moony looks with Panchali.

Arjun, being Arjun.

It was as if Karna's visit was all that had been needed to give Arjun his life force back. Suddenly it was difficult to imagine him as the haggard, huddled boy screaming and thrashing in the grip of nightmares.

But the memory of that could never be erased from Yudhishthir's mind, either. Nor could the paralyzing terror that had accompanied it.

********************

When they were returning to Hastinapur, Yudhishthir pulled Arjun aside.

"Arjun?" he said quietly. "Why did you not tell us after you overheard Maa?"

He had tried not to sound accusing, but he had anyway. Arjun averted his eyes in a guilty gesture and didn't speak for some time.

"I didn't know how to," he said finally. "I'm sorry, jyesht."

"You are sorry," repeated Yudhishthir. "What are you sorry for?"

Arjun blinked.

"For--for keeping it from you? You all deserved to know, too."

"Being deprived from knowing something we deserved to know," said Yudhishthir, chagrinned, "is nothing compared to finding out that you bore the weight of it alone."

He gave Arjun the sternest of glares by his standards.

"You have four brothers, Arjun, how did you presume you have to bear it alone? Five, in fact. You saw how our brother reacted to the news. He would never have let the duel happen. You could have told any of us, and none of this would have happened."

"You're right. You're right."

Yudhishthir sighed.

After a while, Arjun asked timidly, "Are you still offended, jyesht?"

"No, but you have to do something for me."

And Yudhishthir extracted the second promise of their lifetime from his brother.

"Will you promise me that if anything ever makes you unhappy, you will tell me, no matter how difficult it is to speak of, child?"

Chapter Text

Duryodhan's pov

Duryodhan was tired from dealing with the chaos, but he did not let it show.

Karna having disappeared from the wedding had, of course, left behind absolute chaos. Vrushali said she did not know where he had gone, but she did not look at all upset, so he suspected she knew something.

Someone said Karna had been seen leaving Anga on horse with Yudhishthir. Duryodhan laughed at that derisively.

Someone commented that he had jilted Vrushali at the altar--they had always thought the status gap a bit too much--a King and the daughter of a charioteer--

Vrushali raised an eyebrow and turned to exchange a wry smile with Duryodhan, who found nothing to smile in that.

"SILENCE," he commanded the bunch. "IF I HEAR ANOTHER COMMENT OF THAT SORT--"

"Duryodhan! Don't you go losing your temper now..."

Vrushali led him away. Duryodhan wondered how she could be so offhanded about the insult.

He asked her so.

"I am the child of a charioteer, am I not? And so is--so is Karna. Besides, they are Karna's guests," said Vrushali. "Losing your temper with them doesn't look good. Come on, let's sit down."

Then Duryodhan caught the distressing sight of Radha Maa crying. Vrushali's parents and Adhirath were all crowded around her, so Duryodhan figured he did not need to go and console her.

"Karna will be back soon," he assured Vrushali.

Vrushali's lips twitched.

"Oh yes, I'm fairly sure he would not jilt me at the altar."

She definitely knew something of her groom's mysterious disappearance. Duryodhan, in whose nature subtleness was not a particular strength, pestered her.

She evaded the questions with such expertise, Duryodhan steadily went on the verge of exploding with exasperation.

Since he did not want to take out his frustration on his sister-in-law, he took to pacing the threshold of the pavilion.

Till finally the voice he had been waiting from spoke.

*******************

"Duryodhan."

"Where have you been?" Duryodhan started to ask before registering his friend's expression. "What's wrong?" he asked in a hushed voice.

"The Queen Mother...she..." Karna sounded agonized.

Duryodhan took his arms; he was shaking.

"My mother?" he asked anxiously.

Karna shook his head, disconsolate. 

"Queen Mother Kunti--I cannot--I cannot ever face her."

"All right," said Duryodhan in a voice of forced calm. "All right, we will rethink the plot, okay? Come on, now, everyone has been waiting for ages...we can discuss Varanavat later."

"Not that!" shouted Karna.

Heads turned towards them, and exclamations rang out at the groom having been spotted.

"Heaven's sake," muttered Duryodhan, pulling Karna out into the garden, out of sight from the guests. "If not that, why can you not face her? Where were you, anyway? Did you go to Hastinapur?"

"Yes, Yudhishthir came and said..."

"So that bit is true. I thought those people who said they saw you leaving with Yudhishthir were--sorry, go on."

"He told me that the Queen Mother is my mother, Duryodhan. She abandoned me at birth. My mother."

"What?" said Duryodhan loudly.

Karna flinched.

"My aunt is your mother?" Duryodhan's first reaction was elation. "You are my cousin, Karna!"

Karna deadpanned, waiting. Realization crashed into Duryodhan.

"Those--those Pandavas--" he spluttered. "--they--you--Karna, it cannot be true."

"Lower your voice," said Karna in a monotone.

"My friend, tell me it's not true," pleaded Duryodhan.

"I cannot lie to you," said Karna.

"You went to Hastinapur to visit the Pandavas?" Duryodhan wrinkled his nose. "You left your wedding halfway for those pieces of vermin?"

"They are my brothers, Duryodhan," exploded Karna finally. "Arjun is my brother. Of course I had to go and visit him. Of course I had to apologize to him--I knocked him out in the arena, in front of the whole kingdom, my younger brother!"

"Karna--"

"That is why he could not fight back," continued Karna, breathing hoarsely. "If you are going to hold this against me--and if you are still planning to send them to die in Varanavat--"

"No," said Duryodhan hastily. "No, of course not. Calm down, my friend, I would never--"

"Never what? Say it!"

Duryodhan had never seen Karna out of control like this. Not a single time.

Somewhere inside, he felt a twinge of gratitude that his unbreakable friend trusted him enough to break down in front of him. He could also, no longer, imagine sending his rivals to die. Not if they were his best friend's brothers and not if Arjun's wounds in the arena could make Karna leave Vrushali at the altar and travel fifty miles--

"I will not send them to Varanavat to die," he said. "I promise."

Karna sucked in a teary breath. 

"You cannot go back on your word now--if you do--"

"Don't you trust me?" asked Duryodhan.

Karna was evidently still in the grips of a breakdown, because he fell into Duryodhan's arms, holding on so hard his nails dug into Duryodhan's back.

"Trusting you is probably the only right thing I have ever done in my life."

He was never this sentimental either. Duryodhan liked it, but tried to cheer him up anyway.

"And deciding to marry Vrushali?"

Karna nodded.

"Come on then," said Duryodhan. "What is the problem?"

"I cannot face the Queen Mother," repeated Karna. The agony was back in his voice.

*******************

"Karna--it's all right, you don't have to face her--"

It did nothing to make his friend looking a little less desolate.

"She abandoned you," said Duryodhan fiercely. "She never even told you--does she know? Does she know you're her son?"

Karna nodded.

Duryodhan's ferocity was back.

"Then why do you think you will have to face her? She ignored you for years, let her ignore you for the rest of your--"

"Her sons," said Karna hoarsely. "My brothers... Arjun, Yudhishthir... If I have to stay away from her, I have to stay away from them, too."

"I don't suppose there is any chance of you realizing that would be a good thing?" murmured Duryodhan, and swiftly backtracked. "Just a joke, just a joke--God, don't get so serious."

"If you cannot be serious--" began Karna with a fearful glare.

Duryodhan was thankful that Vrushali appeared at that point. She put her arms around Karna and studied his face tenderly.

"Did you get to talk to Arjun?"

"Yes. I think he's okay now--and he accepted me as his brother too. But the Queen Mother--"

But Duryodhan was indignant. "Di, you knew!"

"Hush," said Vrushali. "I see Karna has chosen to divulge the secret to you--"

"Of course he would--"

"--I was not sure he would, considering how much you hate the Pandavas."

"I love him more than I hate the Pandavas," said Duryodhan, nettled.

For the first time, the adrift look on Karna's face let up and he looked much more like his normal self.

Duryodhan cheered up.

"Di, what should Karna do about Aunt Kunti?"

"Nothing," said Vrushali, a note of steel in her voice. "It is not his responsibility to do anything. But just stop running from her."

"How did you know I came here running from her?" demanded Karna.

Vrushali brushed the question away.

"You cannot let her deprive you of your brothers any longer."

"Yes!" said Duryodhan eagerly. "That sounds brilliant!"

Vrushali's lips twitched again, but Karna turned to Duryodhan and asked him in all seriousness, "Do you think so?"

Duryodhan nodded.

"That includes Bheem and the others," said Karna cautiously.

Duryodhan swallowed the unpleasant taste in his mouth that came by just thinking of his cousins.

They are my best friend's brothers, he told himself firmly.

"So long as you do not expect me to be nice to them," he said.

"Deal."

"Can I look for another way to keep Yudhishthir from the crown?"

"We'll see about that later."

"Karna--!"

"All right, all right. I have already reminded you a hundred times, Hastinapur's crowning is based on competence. You are free to show Pitamah you are more competent."

"Deal," said Duryodhan. "But go after completing the wedding this time."

Laughing, the three of them made for the wedding pavilion.

Chapter Text

Karna's  pov

It did not turn out possible to return to Hastinapur that evening. Weddings took more time than Karna had anticipated. Added to that was the time required to settle the chaotic situation of the gathering. He did not think he could have got through it without Vrushali.

Luckily, there would not be many situations in the future he would have to face without her.

Since he had already been married to Vrushali in his head for a while now--possibly since the day Arjun pointed it out--his mind drifted to two other thoughts constantly.

The first was how Duryodhan was not angry, and how relieved and happy he was about it. 

The second was how badly he wanted to return to Hastinapur, to Arjun.

They had two decades of brotherhood to catch up on.

But this time, he would take Vrushali along.

*******************

Karna travelled with his parents, his wife ('My wife!' he thought) and Duryodhan and a group of his brothers who set off for Hastinapur early the next morning.

When they neared the palace, Karna took an attempt.

"How about you and Dussashan come with me to visit the Pandavas?"

"Don't push it," said Duryodhan grimly.

Maybe someday the two sets of cousins would be on good terms just like Bhisma had always wanted, Karna thought, before he realized how far ahead he was thinking.

So far he had only ever spoken properly with Arjun, and to a lesser extent, with Yudhishthir. Bheem, Nakul and Sahadev were complete strangers to him. Strangers who had never taken kindly to him either, except Nakul who was too easygoing to be too unpleasant to anyone.

The first stage to be reached was where he could talk to all his younger brothers without any ill-feeling from either of their sides. Along with ensuring he avoided Queen Mother at all costs...

He would never, never speak to the Queen Mother in his life--never.

Since he spent the walk down the palace corridors after having dropped off Vrushali at his parents' house and parting ways with Duryodhan repeating to himself he would never speak to Queen Mother Kunti, the first person he came across was of course none other than she.

******************

"Karna."

Karna's first instinct, once again, was to turn tail and flee. Vrushali's words, however, kept him from doing so: You cannot let her deprive you of your brothers any longer.

"Excuse me, Queen Mother--" His tone was polite and cold. "I came to see if Arjun is all right--"

"He is much better," said Kunti. "Before you go to meet him, I have something to say to you."

"No," said Karna. "No, you do not have anything to say to me. I do not want to listen. I--I am not your son that I must listen to everything you say."

Kunti reacted to his increasing hysteria with a calming voice.

"And I will not insult your parents by calling you my son, I promise."

"Thank you," said Karna acidly.

"But since you have found out the truth in a way I would never have wanted--"

"You never wanted me to find it out, you mean."

"I did want you to know, Karna. I just did not know how I could face you with the tidings that the parents you have grown up with and are so close to are not your real parents and that I, your real parent, had in fact abandoned you at birth."

She thought she could not face me? thought Karna in surprise.

The Queen Mother's voice shook.

"That is no justification. I am not justifying myself. But I am glad you know, all the same."

"If things had been left to your hands--you--you--would never have--"

"Would you have wanted to know?" Now she sounded curious. "The day I recognized you was in the arena. If I had told you that day, would you have been happy?"

"What? I don't know--no, I would not have been happy. I would never have been happy about getting to know Radha Maa isn't my--that she--" No matter how hard he tried, his voice choked. He turned away to leave; it was easy for Vrushali to say, but he would never be able to stop running from the Queen Mother. "Even if I was not happy, at least--at least my brothers would not have been my rivals all these days, Queen Mother...at least I would never have hurt Arjun..."

He took enormous strides towards the stairs, desperate to put as much distance between the two of them as he could. 

Kunti called after him.

"I am not asking for forgiveness, Karna. I do not deserve it, and certainly not in one day. But your brothers are as blameless as you. Do you not want to meet them?"

The mention of his brothers brought back to him the original purpose of his visit.

"I do," he muttered. "Would they be awake now, Queen Mother?"

"Let us go and see," suggested Kunti.

She tried to put an arm on Karna's shoulder, but Karna moved out of range. Kunti did not try again.

Afterwards, Karna felt stupid; he had acted the way a child would have, and he needed to act like an adult around the woman who had abandoned him as a child.

******************

When he followed his mother into their quarters, trying to make himself invisible, his brothers appeared to have just got up. 

Nakul was brushing his hair. Dussashan often made derisive comments about a warrior being so obsessed of his looks, and Karna remembered laughing along several times. Today, he simply found it endearing. Sahadev--his youngest brother, Karna remembered--was painstakingly watering two plants simultaneously. Somehow, Karna found even that endearing. It was like the knowledge had changed the way he viewed the world.

His gaze moved to Yudhishthir and Bheem, lazily sprawled over the window sill, studying Arjun, who was building a war formation on the floor.

Hearing the steps of intruders, all five of them looked around.

That day, Karna learnt the true meaning of fear.

Fear--a thing that was born from the apprehension of losing something. Anything.

He had never feared losing. Today, he did.

But Arjun's smile put all his fears to rest in an instant. 

"What took you so long?" He sounded earnest. He sounded delighted.

The blood roaring in Karna's ears slowed down. He found himself breathing again. 

Against his other four brother's expressions--Yudhishthir's was searching, Bheem's, miffed, Nakul's, intrigued and Sahadev's, skeptical--Arjun's smile felt like an armour around him.

"I--" Karna cleared his throat. "I got caught up in something."

Arjun left his war formation to come bounding up to him.

"What did Bhrata Duryodhan say?" he asked anxiously.

"He said he's all right with it."

This time, Arjun's smile widened into a beam. Karna had started to smile back when Arjun looked around at his brothers.

"And Maa told us all the real story, too."

Chapter Text

Yudhishthir's pov

It was the strangest of situations, the six of them being forced into one room, armed with the knowledge that they were blood brothers.

There were so many things that had transpired in the past year which, if they had known earlier, they would have died before allowing. There were so many things to apologize for. But it was impossible to know where to begin.

Hanging over their heads, foremost of all, was the way Arjun had spent almost a week incapacitated in the infirmary, seemingly having lost all his courage. It was not easy to forgive the King of Anga for that.

But Yudhishthir admitted the King of Anga had several reasons to grudge them forgiveness, too. To begin with, his brothers, particularly Bheem, had publicly insulted his birth. More than once they had, unitedly, attacked him with words when they came across him, for he was part of Duryodhan's gang--though now that Yudhishthir thought back, he recalled Arjun had given up on those long before. Around the time, he supposed, when he had overheard the fateful conversation. 

Remembering the last minute of the duel in the arena and the sight of the infirmary afterwards, Yudhishthir did not think even their mother's story could make a difference in his heart.

But there was something about the way Karna looked at Arjun. Yudhishthir saw himself in that look of their older brother's. 

It was unique to older brothers when they looked at their younger brothers, that look: the aching tenderness, the aching determination to protect them.

For Karna, it was mingled with guilt and remorse. Yudhishthir wondered how he would feel if he ever ended up hurting Bheem, Arjun, Nakul or Sahadev without meaning to. It would kill him, the guilt, the remorse. He could never have borne it. 

He would never do it in the first place.

Yet it was hardly their jyesht's fault; he had never known. He had been deprived; he was as much a victim of circumstances as Arjun was.

It would be foolish to hold the duel against him.

And then there was the way Karna, over the entire course of the conversation and the silence that preceded it, would keep reaching out to run his hand over Arjun's head wound lightly, as if he wished he could make it disappear by his touch. Possibly he was not even aware how he kept doing it.

Yudhishthir had already forgiven the King of Anga for hurting Arjun the moment he had left his wedding to rush for Hastinapur, but now he did more than forgive him. 

He accepted him.

*****************

Kunti was the one broke the silence.

"I am the one responsible for every harsh word exchanged between you. If you ever feel inclined to judge your younger brothers--" She turned to Karna, then to the others. "--or your eldest brother with unkindness based on the past, remember to blame me, not them."

"We could have if it had been restricted only to harsh words, Maa," muttered Bheem.

Kunti started to protest, but Karna beat her to it.

"I will never forgive myself for injuring Arjun in the arena, so I don't expect any of you to," he said steadily. "But nevertheless I have apologized to Arjun and Yudhishthir, and since you all were affected by it, I apologize to you, too."

Bheem, Nakul and Sahadev studied him. Panchali, who had just walked in, paused at the door, and did the same. Their mother looked horribly upset, and Yudhishthir almost thought she deserved it before pushing away the thought.

"It wasn't jyesht's fault, Bhrata Bheem, Nakul, Sahadev," said Arjun unexpectedly, and firmly. "He did not shoot a single arrow with the purpose of seriously injuring me, which is more than what I would have done if I had not known. You cannot hold him responsible for pushing for his victory in a duel." He spoke more to Bheem than the others. "You have to understand, Bhrata Bheem--you would have done the same in his place. Maybe worse."

Surprise and wonder lit up Karna's face.

"He also prevented the disaster that would have befallen our family if you had all been forced to marry me," said Panchali.

Arjun brightened at the support. "Even without knowing, he has been more decent to us than we deserved. You three insulted his birth repeatedly--"

"I didn't," said Nakul plaintively. "I think charioteers are brilliant anyway, they spend all their time with horses, which we aren't allowed to do. Did I ever insult your birth, Angaraj--?"

"No, no," said Karna hastily.

"I am sorry for the times I did," said Sahadev quietly.

Karna looked even more surprised. Kunti's face had regained a bit of colour.

"Oh--it's all right," he said awkwardly, "but..."

"Bhrata Bheem?" said Arjun pointedly.

"Just a second, Arjun," said Karna. "I just wanted to say--I don't need you to apologize to me for insulting my birth simply because it turns out my birth is high as yours. No one should be insulted on the basis of their birth. There is no point in telling me sorry if you are going to deride someone else by calling them the son of a charioteer."

A silence followed that.

Then Yudhishthir and Kunti spoke simultaneously.

"Is that not what I have been telling you all my life?"

******************

It took a while for Bheem to get around to overcome his inhibitions. It was not as if he mocked every sutaputra for their birth. Yudhishthir knew he had done it with Karna to such an extent out of loyalty towards Arjun and Dronacharya, whom Karna had insulted in the arena, and thereafter out of hatred for Duryodhan, on whose side Karna had always been firmly on, and, it must be admitted, thanks to the rivalry Karna and the Pandavas had struck up among themselves.

But with Arjun as firmly on Karna's side as Duryodhan usually was, eventually all of them were forced to thaw towards each other.

They had not realized how much time had passed over the negotiations when a servant came and informed them they had a guest.

It was the bride Yudhishthir had seen at Karna's wedding, whom they only knew by name and sight. 

Arjun, it turned out, knew more.

"Di!" he cried. "I'm glad you came--I missed you so much." 

"You better had," said Vrushali, "especially now that I am your sister-in-law for real."

Arjun gaped at her, then turned on Karna.

"You--you got married to Di? When? Why does nobody tell me anything?"

"Sorry," said Karna cautiously, before brightening. "Arjun--remember you told me about how other people might be waiting to ask for her hand? The other day, I had gone to visit her and--"

"Someone was actually waiting to ask for her hand?"

"No, but--" 

Then Karna seemed to realize they were not alone, that all his other brothers were also listening, because he fell silent bashfully.

Vrushali took the opportunity to ask Arjun, "And do you know he also managed a trip to and back from Hastinapur in the midst of our wedding yesterday?"

"Yesterday? That ceremony at Anga, it was your wedding?" demanded Arjun.

"Er," said Karna. "Yes."

"But you were away for hours. Did you come along, Di?"

"Nope, wasn't invited," said Vrushali.

"It was not his fault," Yudhishthir felt compelled to say, since he had not remembered to invite their sister-in-law along, either. "I was the one who intruded upon the wedding and asked for his help."

Karna was busy staring at the ground, or he might have noticed the way Arjun, having finally put two and two together, looked at him.

It was, again, unique to younger brothers when they looked up at their older brothers: complete devotion and complete trust.

Arjun usually kept it reserved solely for Yudhishthir, Bheem being a bit too immature to be treated as an older brother, but Yudhishthir would not grudge Karna Arjun's adoration.

Of everyone in this world, he deserved it.

******************

After getting over the overwhelming realization that Karna had gone so far as ruining his own wedding for Arjun's sake, the latter let the former know in no uncertain terms that he was lucky he had ended up married.

"I would not refute that, but what about you, Arjun? Why did you keep the extraordinary knowledge to yourself?" Vrushali said. "I understand it was awkward to tell Karna, but you did not even tell them." She indicated at Yudhishthir, Bheem and the twins.

Yudhishthir smiled to himself; she had started off the right way with his brothers, for she had given them all an opportunity to berate Arjun, and they were always on the lookout for trouble anyway.

"He did not even tell me," said Panchali menacingly.

It also gave Bheem the pretext of shaking a struggling Arjun till he called for Yudhishthir.

"Jyesht, tell him to stop!"

"Bheem," said Yudhishthir mildly. "Let him go, he is just recovering."

Bheem obliged and grabbed Arjun in a bear hug that was scarcely any better.

As they all admonished Arjun about the depths of stupidity he had stooped to, Yudhishthir spoke to Karna in a low voice, feeling unaccountably nervous.

"Jyesht? Can I tell you something?"

Karna looked alarmed. "Yes, of course--you don't have to ask--"

"You--you know Pitamah said I was to be crowned at the end of this week...I know you were not happy about it, since Duryodhan wasn't," he said quickly. "But since you are our older brother--it is you who should be crowned."

"What? No! I don't want to be crowned!"

"Why not?"

"I--I cannot--I have not been brought up in royalty, Yudhishthir--"

"But you are the only one among us who has actual experience in being a king," insisted Yudhishthir. "And I think both us and our cousins will be happy with the decision. I think it is the only decision all of us can be happy about."

"No one even knows I am part of the dynasty," said Karna, now sounding desperate. "Your mother--our--our mother never told anyone, Pitamah does not know, how can he crown me out of the blue?"

"The part about them not knowing can be changed," put in Panchali, who had been listening in. "You being the Crown Prince is the only way of avoiding a lifetime of dispute between the cousins that's waiting to happen, King of Anga--er, jyesht--" She looked from Yudhishthir to Karna and demanded, "Now what are we supposed to call you both?"

Yudhishthir had not considered that in all this, he might lose his cherished title. Jyesht.

Arjun barged into their midst with an insolently cheerful, "We call both of them jyesht."

Karna smiled at Yudhishthir.

"Will that not be confusing?" mused Bheem.

"I am sure we can manage," said Karna gently. He turned to Yudhishthir and added with a hint of uncertainty, "If you don't mind."

Yudhishthir decided that though he would be heartbroken to lose the title, he did not mind sharing it. He would probably be happy doing so, because now he had an elder brother, too.

"I don't," he said.

Arjun, who was evidently living the happiest day of his life after days of lying inert and miserable, laughed. That made everyone else laugh, too.

Maybe someday they would learn to behave like brothers without the continual double-guesses.

At any rate, thought Yudhishthir, it was a start.

Chapter Text

On the eve of his crowning as the heir to the throne of Hastinapur, Karna was reflecting over the past year.

It had taken him the best part of a year to get used to having five brothers. A year that taught him he had known nothing about being an elder brother--though Arjun would claim otherwise--and taught him to be one. The one he always turned to, always, was his oldest anuj, Yudhishthir.

One incident stood out in his memory particularly clearly.

It had been a spring morning when the six Kaunteyas had ridden to a field on the outskirts of the city. Yudhishthir had gone to speak to a villager family; the four younger ones grabbed the opportunity to engage in a rowdy horseback race.

"If he comes--" Bheem indicated the direction where Yudhishthir had gone. "--keep him off, jyesht."

"Why?" asked Karna.

"He does not like this game," whispered Nakul.

"Why?" asked Karna again, amused.

"Because it always ends in a fight," said Bheem in an obvious tone.

Karna laughed, but soon he was laughing on the other side of his face, because his brothers, at the conclusion of the first race, had indeed gotten into a huge fight regarding the ambiguity of the rules, and turned to him for a decision.

He gave his honest opinion. By that, Arjun would be the winner, narrowly beating Nakul. Over Arjun's triumph, the runner up protested.

"That is so unfair, jyesht," yelled Nakul. "You are always partial towards Bhrata Arjun!"

"When is he partial towards me?" demanded Arjun.

"When is he not?" shot back Nakul. "I'm never talking to you again, jyesht."

With that, Nakul stomped off.

"Nakul--" called Karna, horrified. "Nakul!"

His brother did not heed him; Bheem, Arjun and Sahadev returned to their game, laughing; and Karna flew into full-blown panic mode.

Few minutes later, Yudhishthir found Karna rushing towards him in an awful hurry.

"Yudhishthir," said Karna with a funereal expression that alarmed Yudhishthir into jumping to his feet. "Bheem, Arjun and the twins were horseracing--and they got into a dispute and asked for my verdict...I thought Arjun had won it, and at that Nakul said--he said--"

"He said?" prompted Yudhishthir.

"He said he will never talk to me again."

Yudhishthir waited.

And waited.

"What is your point, jyesht?" he asked, baffled.

"What am I going to do?" said Karna anxiously. 

"About what?" asked Yudhishthir, even more baffled.

Karna wondered if he had taken a stroke of the sun, and spoke slowly, like he would to someone particularly dumb.

"What will I do if Nakul never talks to me again?"

Yudhishthir doubled up with laughter.

"Yes, it's funny to you," said Karna, offended. "Could you bear it if one of them never talked to you again?"

"Jyesht," said Yudhishthir, when he could finally speak. "I have heard this five hundred times before. They do not actually mean they would never talk to you again. Goodness," he added to the heavens above.

"You think he doesn't mean it?" said Karna hopefully.

Yudhishthir rolled his eyes. "He probably has forgotten all about it by now."

Five minutes later, to his relief, Karna had discovered that to be true.

"This is why I tell you not to play this game," Yudhishthir scolded them, and pulled Karna aside. "On a separate note, jyesht, if in the future they ask you to be middleman in their disputes, try to give a verdict where Arjun does not win."

Karna was quite indignant. "Why?"

"Because the others believe Arjun is your favourite, and they do not take to it kindly. I have spent years drilling into their heads that they are all equal to me--someone or the other will keep claiming someone else in my favourite and create a fuss. In your case, they all think it is Arjun."

Now this had seemed extremely unfair to Karna, because as he had discovered with being an older brother--he loved all his younger brothers equally. It was impossible to love any of them any less than he was capable.

He did not love the others less than he loved Arjun. But he could not deny being with Arjun was what made him happiest.

It was just that they thought so similar. That they should be brothers actually made sense.

No people from disjoint genes could think so similar.

Arjun was the one who broke into his reflections, bursting into his room noisily.

"Jyesht! Jyesht, jyesht!"

"I'm listening, child."

"A sage has come to invite you for a visit to a sanctuary nearby, he says it will be good luck for tomorrow's crowning ceremony. Can I come with you?" said Arjun in one breath.

Karna smiled. "Yes, why not. Who is this sage, though?"

"I don't know. Maa is talking with him."

They found Kunti talking to an ancient man. After Karna had touched his feet and accepted his blessings, he spoke in an ancient voice, asking them to follow him, that his kinsmen were waiting outside to guide him.

The invitation of the short pilgrimage to the sanctuary brought to Karna's mind the unwanted memory of the long-ago plot of Varanavat. Even Duryodhan, who had reacted to the news that Yudhishthir wanted Karna to be crowned with great pleasure, had gone so far as to admit that the plot had been an inhuman one and that he did not truly want his aunt and cousins to be burnt alive.

The very idea made Karna shudder.

How different would their lives have been, if Arjun had not overheard their mother's secret?

Arjun waved his hand in front of Karna's face, startling him out of his thoughts.  

"Where are you lost, jyesht?"

"Nowhere. Come on, now."

As they were leaving, their mother spoke.

"Am I allowed to join you?"

Arjun glanced at Karna.

"Certainly--Mother," Karna said, only a little stiffly.

She smiled, a mix of grateful and affectionate, and took an arm of each of her sons as they walked out into the sunset.