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The morning announcement startled Shuichi awake, his heart almost leapt out of his chest. He took in a deep breath and exhaled before getting out of bed. Really, by now he should be used to the alarm, but he still hadn't adjusted to it yet. Shuichi would normally set a slow rise alarm that he was able to turn off before it got too loud. Unfortunately, here there was nothing he could do except wake before the morning announcement went off, which he never did. He could hardly fall asleep at night so he wound up dead asleep late into the morning.
Shuichi walked towards the bathroom for his dreaded morning routine. While the killing game was nice enough to provide them everything they could need for daily living, not everything fit his extra specific needs. Everyone else probably gets by fine without a problem, but of course his issues have to infect every aspect of his life. He picked up his toothbrush and looked towards the toothpaste, the same type of toothpaste that everyone else uses. That awful, vile, regular toothpaste. Shuichi sighed, put some toothpaste on the toothbrush, and then brushed his teeth. The flavor was fine but his mouth felt like a frozen hellfire. Even before being trapped in the killing game it was difficult to find toothpaste without menthol in it, he'd stomach the slight emberassment of using kid's toothpaste to avoid it.
Shuichi put the toothbrush back in the cup and looked at his hair. It felt kind of gross, he should really wash it soon but he could hardly muster the energy for it. He sighed and settled for the dry shampoo instead. The rest of his routine went by in a blur as he thought about how he was going to spend his free time today. Maybe he could hear more about Kaito's story today? Try to win his life back from Kokichi? Help Gonta with his gentleman quest? Shuichi stood still while halfway dressed, stuck trying to figure out which decision to make. Just choose one, choose one, choose one, CHOOSE ONE- this is getting nowhere. Shuichi slumped against the side of tub and put his head in his hands. He thought of the pros and cons for each person over and over until his stomach growled. Oh, he still needed to get breakfast, he should focus on that first. Shuichi finished getting dressed and left his dorm, his mouth still felt awful.
The walk to the school would be nicer if it wasn't so bright outside (outside? inside? does it count as outside under a dome?), Shuichi forgot how bright the world was without his hat on. Strangely enough, he didn't spot anyone outdoors, or even inside the school, not until he got to the dinning hall. It was packed, it should never be packed this late. He specifically went this late to avoid the crowd. Normally he could tolerate the noise, but in the morning? Sounds hurt. Kokichi spotted Shuichi idling by the entrance, he raised his voice to project over the chatter "Wow look it, sleeping beauty is here! I thought you'd never wake up after that spell I put you under!" Shuichi winced at the volume as all eyes turned towards him. All attention set on Shuichi and his tardiness... thanks Kokichi. "Ugh, typical male to waste the entire morning." Tenko huffed. Himiko rubbed her eyes, "Nyeh, he probably had the right idea. I'm all out of mana and it's not even the afternoon." She yawned before Tenko started fretting over her sleeping habits. Shuichi made his way towards the kitchen while they were distracted. At least it was a little quieter in here, he could still he the unending discussion though, he spotted Kaito inside serving himself a bowl of cereal. Kaito turned towards him and smiled, "Hey man!" Kaito's shout still hurt his ears but this time he was prepared for it and didn't flinch. "Uh, hey Kaito. Why is everyone in the dinning hall right now?" Shuichi asked while he searched for a mug for his morning tea. Kaito took a bite of his cereal before talking, "Those weird monokubs were installing some upgrades for the stove or something all morning. They kept the dinning hall and kitchen closed until a bit ago." Shuichi hummed in response as he picked out some tea. Kaito pointed his spoon towards Shuichi, "On the bright side, that means everyone was late enough to breakfast for you to join in for once!" Shuichi nearly knocked his mug from under the coffee machine, he could have burned himself from the boiling water being dispensed from it, "A-Ah really? I um..." He really didn't want to hear everyone talk and eat so closely this early, especially in an enclosed reverberating room. Shuichi averted his eyes from Kaito's gaze, "I'm not very hungry right now... I was just going to make some tea and leave." Liar. Kaito placed his bowl down and frowned at him, "You should really eat something sidekick, breakfast is the most important meal of the day after all." Shuichi could disagree, he rarely ate breakfast before being in the killing game. Right now he just needed some peace and quiet, even if his stomach would beg to differ. He looked into Kaito's puppy-dog eyes, they were pleading with him to stay, Shuichi sighed, "I'm going to have my tea first and then I'll join you for breakfast after." "Alright!" Kaito clapped his hands together, ow.
Shuichi finished preparing his tea and left the kitchen, he walked into a chaotic dinning hall. Everyone was shouting over each other over in some argument that Kokichi seemed to have sparked, and it physically hurt Shuichi to hear. At least during the trials the room was spacious enough that the debates couldn't echo around like this. He avoided looking directly at anyone, by social convention that should keep the chances of anyone talking to him low. He made it out of the dinning hall and let a sigh of relief at the drop in volume, he almost got to the warehouse before he heard footsteps behind him, "Hey Shuichi, do you want to-" "Later." Shuichi interrupted K1-B0 without looking at him and hastily entered the warehouse. Okay, that was harsher then how he normally would have reacted to someone talking to him, he must still be frazzled from earlier. Shuichi sat on the ground and leaned against one of the boxes, he'll have to apologize to K1-B0 later. He blew on his tea to cool it down and enjoyed the silence the warehouse had to offer.
A few minutes later and now holding an empty mug, Shuichi got up and walked back towards the dinning hall. The dinning hall that was billowing smoke into the hallway. He rushed over to see what had happened, inside it looked like Monokuma was yelling at the bear cubs. Their upgrades to the kitchen that Kaito mentioned earlier must have blown up in some way. The door shut in front of him, there was a sign on it that read 'closed for repairs'. The smoke cleared from the hallway now that the source was closed off, now he could see that someone was still waiting for him. "Shuichi! The kitchen blew up! Thankfully no one was in it while it happened, but now it's closed again." Kaito walked up to him, "Don't worry though, I managed to snag this for ya!" He handed Shuichi some sukiyaki caramels. "Oh... Um... Thank you, Kaito." It was that nasty sounding candy, he felt sick looking at it. "Don't worry about it, too bad you couldn't join us for breakfast though. We can still hangout right now if you want." Kaito offered. Shuichi didn't feel like he could hold a conversation right now, even a one sided one, "Maybe later, I just... need a moment." Kaito tilted his head at him, "You doing alright bro?" Shuichi nodded, "Yeah, just not fully awake yet, you know." Kaito squinted at him, "Well, alrighty then, talk to you later." He turned and walked away.
Shuichi was hungry but there was no way he was eating the caramels. He walked into the store for the MonoMono Machine, they usually had some snacks he could try for. This plan failed before it even started as a sign was taped to the machine read 'all food and drink items currently unavailable'. Shuichi took a long breath in and out, this was a minor inconvenience, nothing to cry over. He'll just be hungry for a while, that was fine, don't get emotional over it. A shrill voice broke him out of his thoughts, "Sorry about that! Can't make any of the food gifts while the kitchen is closed, no thanks to a certain group of kids." Monokuma scowled thinking about the monokubs. "Ah um, is there any food somewhere else?" Shuichi asked the bear. Monokuma put a hand to his chin as if in thought, "Hmmmmm, well there's nothing available right now. You might be able to beg some of your classmates for food if they have any on them, or even better, kill them for it!" Why did Shuichi bother asking, "Nevermind." "Aw boo, you're no fun." Monokuma said before departing, leaving Shuichi alone in the store.
Shuichi was not going to ask for food after Kaito had already given him some, even if he wasn't going to eat it. He already felt guilty enough about it, he didn't want hurt Kaito's feelings by asking someone else for something different. Walking out of the store, Shuichi stared at the ceiling. It's not like he hasn't skipped breakfast before, he even had some tea! He's getting worked up over nothing. Shuichi fidgeted with the buttons on his sleeves while he walked down the hallway. If only he could just choke down the candy like anyone else would, why did he have to be so- No, that's a bad thought, bad thoughts only make things worse. What could he do while he waited for the kitchen to be fixed? Shuichi paused, he could watch something in the AV room to pass the time. Hopefully no one would be in there at the moment.
There was someone in there at the moment. Korekiyo and Gonta were watching some old documentary, and apparently it was not up Korekiyo's standards. He was in the middle of correcting some facts to Gonta when he saw Shuichi, "Oh, Shuichi, join us. I was just discussing the outdated and grossly misinterpreted information in this film." Shuichi was about to back out before Gonta spoke, "Shuichi! Gonta not see you at breakfast, did Shuichi eat this morning?" "I-I'm fine, Kaito gave me a snack." Korekiyo shot Shuichi a questioning look, "Well, if your hunger is appeased, would you care to join us?" No, but he'd start to look weird to the others if he kept declining to hangout around everyone today. "Um, sure." Shuichi sat on the couch between the two. The documentary continued on at a volume a smidge too loud while Korekiyo talked over the inaccuracies. He tried to pay attention but the conversation was too close to him, too loud, maybe if he wasn't sat between them and instead standing a few feet away it wouldn't be so bad. It went on and on and on hammering in Shuichi's skull before he stood up abruptly, "I'm going to use the restroom, you two can keep watching without me." He didn't look back at them when he left the room. Shuichi didn't need to use the restroom, he just needed to get out of there. He needed to be alone, he needed some food in his stomach, he needed- he needed to look where he was going. Shuichi ran into Angie after getting up the stairs, "I-I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." Angie dusted herself off, "Oh! Shuichi! Atua must have tied our paths together, how about we-" Shuichi stepped past her, "I'm sorry, I'm in a rush right now, maybe later!" He was not willing to be dragged back into another situation so soon after escaping the previous one. "W-Wuh, Shuichi!" Angie called after him.
Shuichi darted down the hallway, he nearly went through the exit but stopped when he saw that there was a small group just outside. Can't he just avoid people for an hour or so? What were they even doing, would they come inside the school and drag him into whatever it was? Upstairs, he should go upstairs and hide out in one of the classrooms for now. There is no good reason that someone would be in there. He made his way up the stairs, each step draining him of energy, he felt so tired, hungry and overwhelmed. The slow build up of stress all morning was starting to swallow him whole. He felt compelled to fling himself backwards, to smash his open his skull on the stairs. Or at the very least- Shuichi slammed the side of his arm against the railing. Ow. Oh.
He was having a meltdown. Now, he was never one to yell and he generally had good control over most of his actions, this he was lucky for he supposed. It was mostly very difficult to not hurt himself or spiral. Shuichi didn't want anyone to see him like this, he could just wait it out the best he could once he got to the classroom. Once up the stairs, he beelined to the door only for Kokichi to jump out from behind the corner. "Saihara-chan~" "NOT right now." Shuichi growled out and tried to move around him only for Kokichi to block his path. "Jeez, someone's cranky, not even a hello for little ol' me?" Shuichi tried to side step past him but Kokichi proved himself to be a difficult obstacle. "Ignoring me? I-I can't believe you'd be so rude, what about our game? Do you really hate me that much?" Kokichi wailed and broke into crocodile tears. The cry stabbed his ears, Shuichi felt close to crying himself but he doubted he actually looked the part. "Just- move!" Shuichi forcefully shoved himself past Kokichi and went straight towards the classroom. He was almost there, just a little further, but Kokichi grabbed his hand. His palm burned, Shuichi violently yanked his hand from Kokichi's grasp, "Shui-" "DON'T TOUCH ME!" He turned around to see Kokichi with that blank if not surprised look on his face. Stupid, stupid, stupid, he overreacted. Shuichi clawed at his own wrist under his sleeve, slowly dragging his nails down his skin as Kokichi looked over him, trying to figure out the reason for his sudden outburst. "Just leave me alone." Shuichi settled on telling Kokichi before he went into the classroom, shutting the door behind him.
Shuichi sat on the ground next to the wall. He let out a shuttered breath, why did he have to be like this. A useless piece of shit that can't handle minor inconviences. He hit his leg as he felt tears well up in his eyes. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, well he was fucking that up. He tucked his legs against his chest and buried his head between his knees, he tugged at his hair harder and harder until the pain radiated through him. His throat felt tight, his stomach hurt, his hair felt greasy, his hand still felt bad. He dragged his hand against the fabric of his sleeve over and over to remove the leftover feeling of being held. It wouldn't go away, he tried scratching it off until his palm was red. Of course that wouldn't work either, he threw his fists against the floor before he decided that his head would make a better target. Who cared if he got a concussion, he needed to it hurt, it's not like he's of any use to anyone here when he can't even get through a regular morning. Keade never should have believed in him, she didn't know what a shitty excuse of a person he really was.
Shuichi didn't know how much time had passed but he was on his side now, his arms and legs felt bruised. His face was raw with scratch marks and his hand was still sunken into it. He was at a freeze, staying dead still until he would throw himself against the floor again into a new position. He flinched when he heard the door open, "Shuichi?" It was Maki, he heard footsteps that moved to stop right in front of him, he didn't dare look at her in this pathetic state. "...Are you okay?" She asked him quietly. He didn't respond, his throat and tongue disallowed it, he simply dragged his hand down from his face to his neck to clutch the collar of his uniform. "...I'm going to take that as a no." He didn't know what his face looked like right now but it probably looked bad from the crying and abuse. "The others mentioned that you were acting off this morning." Great, so he couldn't even hide his issues from the others. "So I came to see if you were... up to something. But it looks like you weren't so..." She trailed off, they both stayed there without comment for a moment. Did they think he was planning a murder? Didn't they know? Didn't they know he was too useless for that, too useless for anything. He wasn't even a real detective. Maki sighed, "Not to assume anything, but I've seen a few of the kids at my orphanage act this way before. Did you have a meltdown?" He was found out, Shuichi reluctantly nodded. "Okay, well, you look pretty sad in this state. Is there anything I can do to get you out of this?" Maki asked him, Shuichi shook his head. She hummed, "...Did you eat anything today?" He turned his face further away from her, he should wash it later after being pressed into the dirty floor for so long. "No? Then take this." She placed down an astro cake a few inches away from his face, "I was saving it to avoid going to the dinning hall later but... anyways, you can have it. Eat it and you'll feel a little better." Shuichi didn't feel like moving. "...Okay, I'll go tell Kaito that you're fine since he was freaking out a little about your disappearance." She looked over him once more, "Well maybe not fine, but, you get it. See you later." She walked away from him and left the classroom.
After an embarrassing amount of time, Shuichi managed to convince his limbs to work with him to actually grab and eat the astro cake. He sat himself up, he felt sore from laying on the ground for so long. The worst of it seemed to be over, he just needed to keep himself from spiraling again. He'll have to thank Maki once he sees her again... and come up with an excuse for why he didn't eat the caramels Kaito gave him. Shuichi looked at his hands, the scratches had faded away, he could never put in enough pressure to cause lasting damage, he couldn't tell if he wanted there to be. He stood up off the ground and came up with a list of things he needed to do. Use the restroom, check if the dinning hall is open to get some water to drink, apologize to K1-B0 for avoiding him, apologize to korekiyo and gonta for ditching them, apologize to Angie, apologize to Kokichi for yelling at him even though he probably wouldn't care, repay Maki for the cake. Shuichi sighed, he needed to apologize to Kaito too, he said he would hangout with him today but the day was already halfway over.
Shuichi made his way out of the classroom and down the stairs towards the restroom, he was thankful no one was around. After getting inside, he looked himself in the mirror. There was a dark bruise visible on the side his face, likely from when he threw himself against the ground. Would the others ask him about it? Did Maki tell them about his meltdown? He didn't want them to know he was autistic but his chances for explaining himself without it being brought up were slim. Everyone was probably going to act differently towards him after this. He finished his business in the restroom and walked towards the dinning hall. The sign was gone, Shuichi peaked inside, Kaito was sitting with Maki and the table, they seemed to be talking about something.
Maki noticed him behind the door, Kaito followed her gaze to Shuichi. "H-" Maki elbowed Kaito, he coughed and spoke quieter, "Hey Shuichi." Shuichi stepped into the room, "Um, hey..." A beat passed before Kaito spoke again, "So erm, you doing better now?" "Yeah... I was just about to get some water." "Cool cool." Kaito was eyeing the bruise, "Just uh, so you know, I don't think of you any differently." That's what everyone says, but that doesn't make it true. Kaito continued, "But if you need anything from me in the future, don't be afraid to ask. And you can be honest if you don't like what I have to offer. In fact! You can just say 'Kaito, I need you to fuck off right now' and I will leave you be!" Shuichi let out a laugh at that, "Alright Kaito, will do." Maki smiled slyly at Kaito, "Can I tell you to fuck off too?" Kaito looked shocked before he resettled and crossed his arms, "Of course, if my sidekicks need a break, then feel free!" Well, at least Shuichi's friends still seemed to like him even after what happened. "I'm going to go grab some water," Shuichi stated and walked towards the kitchen. Kaito and Maki waited for him to leave before having a hushed conversation. He couldn't make out what they were saying but he could still hear that they were talking while he was grabbing a bottle from the fridge. Shuichi went back into the dinning hall to see them looking towards at him. Kaito started, "Sooo, was there anything in particular that set you off this morning? You don't seem to usually, erm, well-" "Have a meltdown." Maki finished for him. Shuichi looked at the bottle of water in his hands, "It was just... I don't know, too much?" Shuichi felt ashamed over his reaction, "Everything just feels so much louder after waking up, it's a bit painful, and I wasn't expecting the dinning hall to be so busy." He doubted anyone else would have considered it to be crowded. Kaito looked at him curiously, "Painful? Well, if this happens again then I can go in and grab you something if you want. To avoid the noise and all." Shuichi was grateful to have such nice friends given their circumstances, "That would be nice, um, thank you Kaito. And sorry for uh... sort of ditching you today. I can hang out with you now if you want, you still haven't finished telling me how you decided to become an astronaut." "Oh right, where was I on that?" Kaito scratched his chin. Maki got up from the table, Kaito turned towards her, "Maki-roll, where are you going?" She stopped, "I was going to leave so you can talk to Shuichi?" "You don't need to do that, we can all spend time together." "...Alright." Maki sat back down and Shuichi picked out a chair at the table. Kaito cleared his throat, "So, where was I, oh right-" Kaito rattled on about his life story that sounded more like a game of pretend on the playground. It was entertaining to see Maki experience Kaito story-time for the first time, even if it was still frustrating to listen to. Shuichi still needed to apologize to the rest of his friends, but for now he can just focus on Kaito's strange story with Maki.