Chapter Text
It was a sunny day in Bethlehem, and you were sweltering in your fursuit.
“Why, oh why did I have to wear this today?” You thought, sweat dripping from your body. (^authors note: im sorry^) That's when you saw him.. Jesus. You locked eyes across the courtyard, and you just couldn’t look away. He was wearing purple contacts and had drawn on black whiskers. He scratched his ear with his paw-like hand, and barked at you.
It was a strong, masculine bark, very different from his cutesy exterior. Knowing he was one of your own (a furry), you barked back at him, a deep growl from the back of your throat. Unfortunately, someone else had arrived. Mary Magdalene. She pulled Jesus away from the courtyard and into her home around the corner. A pang of jealousy hit you. Jesus was yours.. not hers. You had barked at each other - surely it was meant to be?
Days passed, and he was all you thought about. Every waking moment was spent thinking about him.. Jesus. You prayed to God that you would meet again, and that this time you would properly connect. He was meant for you, like how a beard was meant for Abraham Lincoln. You were properly in love with him, but you didn’t even know if he loved you back. If he would agree to being your alpha.
Suddenly, your letterbox fluttered open. Laying in front of the door was an envelope. You cautiously picked it up and opened it. It was an invitation to a masked ball… at Jesus’s house! You jumped for joy, giggling and kicking your feet. You couldn’t believe it - Jesus had invited you to his house! For a party! It was like he had been longing for you just as much as you had been for him.
For the masked ball, you decided to wear your finest fursuit. It was white and blue, with orange eyes. The tail was long and luxurious, and you hoped it would impress Jesus. Paws crossed! (^authors note: as in fingers crossed but they’re a furry so its paws.. idk^)
You arrived at Jesus’s mansion, already sweating from nerves. You could see Mary Magdalene in a cheap, low quality fursuit - probably from shein. She was giggling at a joke Jesus had made. Jealously bubbled within you for a split second - then you remembered how connected you were to Jesus. There was nothing that could stand in the way between you and him - not even Mary Magdalene in a shein fursuit.
You ran over to Jesus on all fours, desperate to introduce yourself to him. His fursuit was amazing quality, with glowing purple eyes and black fur that shimmered under the colourful lights. He spotted you immediately and growled seductively. (^authors note: I’m so so sorry. Genuinely^) He picked you up as if you were nothing - you felt so tiny in his big strong arms. He went over to the dance floor, where he put you down and barked.
You barked back at him and took his paws in yours. You danced together for an hour until Jesus looked up at you with puppy eyes and said “Can I show you my d-d-den?” You couldn’t resist, and agreed.
He took you through a maze of corridors until you arrived at a small hatch in the wall. He whined and crawled through, beckoning for you to follow him. You obeyed, and arrived in a room full of fursuits, posters, and a massive dog bed in the centre of the room. Jesus went over to the bed, and began to take off his fursuit, revealing his clothes underneath.
You took your suit off too. You were wearing your favourite outfit and you were excited to show Jesus what you were wearing. You looked over at him and was taken aback when you realised.. you were wearing the same outfit! You both had on a miku binder, short skirt and pink fishnets… it was like you were meant to be.
“So..” Jesus said, looking at the floor. “Wanna play dress to impress?” He shrugged his shoulders and gestured to an iPad in a pink fluffy case.
“I’d love to play DTI.. what’s your rank? I’m a t-t-trendsetter..” you stuttered.
Jesus picked up his iPad and gave you another one lying next to it. “Oh… I’m a top model” he looked at you shyly.
”R-really?!” You exclaimed. You’d never played with a top model before. “Wow.. you must be really good.. I don’t even have VIP..”
Jesus looked at you for a second then loaded up Dress To Impress. “I have all of the game passes.. my dad got them for me. He also got me t-ten thousand r-r-robux.. I can g-gift you VIP.. if you want..” he looked up at you and smiled slightly.
”Y-yes.. please! My user is @y/n_roblox… whats y-yours?” you asked.
”@j3sus123.. I’ll friend you so we can play together” he replied, engrossed in finding your username on Roblox.
Once you had both joined the server and agreed to vote each other five stars each round, Jesus decided to gift you Permanent VIP, custom makeup and the run faster game passes. You got the notification while you were doing the obby in the lobby and you were so overjoyed you kissed him on the cheek and giggled. Jesus’s face turned red and a wave of realisation hit him - he wanted to be your alpha.
“N-no problem s-sweet cheeks” he stuttered. He was obviously nervous at the idea of calling you a nickname, but it seemed to fit perfectly. Sweet cheeks… he hoped it was accurate, otherwise he’d be very disappointed. (^authors note: currently ending my life sorry for writing this gang^)
The timer for the first round started and the theme was gyaru.. Jesus seemed to be a professional at this, while you were still reserved and didn’t really know what the theme meant. You eventually dressed up in the fur combo with the cheetah print on all of the items you were wearing. Jesus had made an incredible outfit - he had certainly dressed to impress.
The timer counted down the seconds and soon it was your turn on the runway. You did some basic poses, including the iconic Pose 28, and you saw Jesus press the button for five stars. A warmth spread inside you, and for a second you thought that maybe he loved you. No. You shook the thought off quickly - Jesus couldn’t love you! He loved that slut Mary Magdalene… right?
Soon it was Jesus’s time to shine on the runway. You immediately voted him 5 stars and gazed at his outfit with wonder. It was so good - you wouldn’t be surprised if he won.
Eventually, the voting was over and you saw the results… Jesus had came last place?! He was inconsolable - poor Jesus, a VIP top model that had always placed… He began to sob and whimper like a child who dropped their ice cream. You decided that the only way to make him happier was to perform a song. His favourite song.
You got up and began to prepare yourself for the performance of a lifetime - the performance that would make or break your future relationship with Jesus. You opened Spotify on the iPad, searched up the song, and pressed play.
“I was a bad girl, I did some bad things
I swear I did it all for fun and it meant nothing
It never happened, it was a secret
Like when a tree falls in the forest, no one hears it
Another late night, another crazy mood
And I didn't think twice what it would do to you
I was a wild child, you always knew it
It was a matter of time before I blew it
Thou shall not lie, thou shall not cheat
Thou shall not get caught or you'll end up just like me, oh
Karma's a bitch, I should've known better
If I had a wish, I would've never effed around
When I saw the pics of you and her, I felt the knife twist
Karma's a bitch
And she's with you right now”
You danced your heart out as Jesus watched you intently right until the very end of the song. That was when he decided - he wanted you. He wanted to be your alpha, he wanted to control you, and most importantly… he wanted to get you pregnant.
Suddenly, right before the end of the song, something descended from the heavens. Angel Gabriel. They gazed upon you performing to Jesus and once the music stopped, politely clapped and said: “y/n. I have a message for you.”
You stopped and looked up at the angel stunned.
“W-what do you mean?” You stuttered. Why would the angel have a message for you? You were just a small town girl, living in a lonely world.. (^authors note: don’t stop believing frfr im so sorry^)
“You my dear.. are pregnant. With Jesus’s baby.”
”B-B-But.. how? We haven’t…”
”Boombaya-ed? I know. But there’s more than one want to get pregnant. For example, dancing with the intent to please. Which you just did, darling.”
Jesus glanced at you quickly. This is all he wanted… and you didn’t want it. He felt so ashamed of himself, he almost started crying again. Until the angel disappeared and you turned to him…
”I'm so glad I'm pregnant with your child! what do you want to call it?” You say, beaming with joy. He looks at you stunned, then shyly recommends a few names.
”What about… Renesmee? Or… Eli?” He said, looking at his iPad. (^authors note: apolocheese dude had to include you somehow^) You glance at your stomach and smile.
“I like Eli. What about… Renesmeli? T-that combines the two” you suggest anxiously, wondering if Jesus will like it.
He glances back at you. “I… I love it.”
[Timeskip. Nine months later…]
“Hey Jesus, could you - OH SKIBIDI” you are taken aback by the intense pain that just shot through you. “Jesus.. I think my water just broke..” (^authors note: sorry bout the skibidi, i had to lmao^)
He rushes to your side and helps you walk to the dog bed in the middle of the room. (Yes they sleep in a dog bed, no this isn’t biblically accurate (if you thought it was then what the freak))
“y/n.. you’re about to give birth. I-I-I’m gonna need you to.. s-s-spread your legs..” he stutters, anxious about you and the baby. You one, and lie on the bed, legs wide apart.
“I.. I can see its head! You need to push, y/n!!” Jesus wails. You push harder when the contractions come, and after an hour or so of pushing, the baby arrives. (^authors note: yes labour lasts longer, but for story purposes its magically an hour okay^) Jesus wipes the baby and hands it to you. The baby has dog ears and a long bushy tail, slightly resembling your fursuit. It has orange and purple eyes and.. oh! It’s a boy.
”Welcome to the world, Renesmeli” you whisper, gazing into his eyes. Renesmeli barks and snuggles into your chest. You look up at Jesus, and feel an overwhelming sense of love for him and your son/puppy. You think about doing things you’ve never done… like kissing him.
As if he can read your mind, Jesus leans down and slowly kisses you, gently at first. Without warning, your son bites Jesus.
“L-l-like father like son” chuckles Jesus. He quickly pecks the top of your head and goes to grab a miniature fursuit lying on the table. It had been hand crafted for Renesmeli. He pulls it over your son’s head and buttons up the top. You can finally see Renesmeli for who he truly is - a furry.
And they all live happily ever after blah blah blah the end woohoo