Archive of Our Own ^beta

As far back as he could remember, Seonghwa had always wanted to be Eomma. As a child, he never separated from his baby doll and loved more than anything to help his mother when she was a nanny at home. Whether it was to help give the bottle to the little pups, change them or play with them, Seonghwa was always there to be able to bathe in the smell of milk invading his house directly at the source.

When he reached adolescence, he had long considered which career path to follow. He could have worked with children, spent the day with wonderful but unruly little beings but had not been able to bring himself to break the family continuity despite his status as an omega before embarking on the path of justice like his father, grandfather and great-grandfather before him. It didn't matter, he knew that one day he would form his own family and have his own pups by his side.

His mother had worried about him when he did his voluntary military service and had to start taking the prescribed suppressants. The first few months had been filled with anxiety for Seonghwa who had not been able to prevent his mother's worries from making their way into his mind but he had been reassured when he had finally understood his new hormonal cycle. He only had to stop taking suppressants to trigger his heat, his body had never failed him, and what had initially been a source of worry had turned into a selfish form of power in his head. The military doctor did regular check-ups and all the results seemed green to continue on this path, he only had to follow to the letter the only instruction to let his body experience its two heats per year, it was up to him to choose the date. Easy.

Seonghwa had never regretted becoming a police officer. It was in no way an obligation on the part of his parents to follow the family path but perhaps his ego forced him to prove that he was no more deserving than an alpha in this professional field ; proof of this was also the efficiency of his partner in his division, Yeosang, an omega like him who was ahead in terms of results. But perhaps his career choice and his diametrically opposed personal ambitions were a first sign to force him to make a choice on which he should not have closed his eyes.

He was 26 years old when he had finished the difficult period that was his first years as a policeman and the many mandatory transfers that he had had to undergo and, now owner of his own house and permanently hired by the barracks of his choice, it was time to put into action his wish to have pups. But a first problem had presented itself to him : the absence of a mate.

At that time, he had blamed his single status on his unpredictable job but was counting on his new stability to finally have the family life he had dreamed of for so long. Except that... His flirtations never got past that stage, remaining only one-off dates with no prospects for the future and leaving Seonghwa increasingly frustrated by alphas and their need to control and give their unsolicited opinions.

“Oh, you’re a policeman? Not common for an omega.”

“My omega should be quietly at home, not out in the field risking his life.”

Maybe not all of them were ill-intentioned and only worried or considerate, but Seonghwa’s omega didn’t see it that way. All his life, he had been raised to follow his family’s lineage and in no way had the arrival of his first heat stopped him. It certainly wasn’t alphas who were going to make him a stay-at-home omega. He was a man of action and intended to remain so. And who had said he needed a mate? He only wanted children.

This is how his new quest began.

The first time Seonghwa came back from one of his one-night stands chosen somewhat at random in one of the bars in his city, he experienced it as a walk of shame but certain that he would not have to relive it a second time. Was it morally acceptable to lie and say that he was on contraception when he was not? He pushed this question to the back of his mind and promised himself to never think about it again. Whatever happened, he would never see this person again and he intended to raise his baby alone, without an alpha around to give him orders. It was excited that Seonghwa had bought his first pregnancy test but he had quickly become disillusioned when a single small bar had appeared on the white plastic. And this shameful act that Seonghwa had convinced himself he wouldn't have to go through again became a ritual that mentally cost him a little more each time. For months, it was animated by the hope of realizing his dream that the omega chained together one-night stands, clutching his belly in his hands as he returned home and praying he wouldn't have to do it again. In vain. Which led him to the stupidity that was too much for his mind: spending his heat with a stranger he found on a dating app. Pregnancies outside of heat were possible, he had done enough research on the subject to know that, but almost guaranteed during this period. His best chance.

His biggest regret.

And sitting in the waiting room of the best gynecologist recommended by his doctor after months of waiting and unsuccessful attempts, he closed his eyes and did everything he could to stop thinking about it. He had been irresponsible and knew that he had crossed the line a long time ago. He could have drawn a line under all that if his goal had been achieved, but the absence of a pup growing in his belly despite all that had pushed him to consult a specialist. Something was wrong with him and it was time to find out what, no matter how much anxiety was gnawing at his stomach. The blood test results between his fingers taunted him, like an unknown language waiting for its translator, and he jumped out of his seat when the doctor called him. It was time to rip off the band-aid and move on.

“How can I help you, Mr. Park? I have to say, I’m curious as to why my colleague recommended me.”

“I need to know why I can’t get pregnant.”

The doctor’s professional smile fell slightly at the omega’s dry tone and he nodded after a short pause, reaching out to retrieve the blood test results that were handed to him. Seonghwa took a deep breath as he leaned back in his chair. He hated being here already. He hated having to do all this to have a child. He was an omega, damn it. His body was supposed to be made for this. He had wanted to believe at first that the problem could come from the alphas he had set his sights on but it was time to stop lying to himself.

“When was your last heat, Mr. Park?”

Seonghwa gritted his teeth as he forced himself to stay straight in his seat. He really hated all this.

“It ended 11 days ago. The blood test was yesterday.”

The doctor nodded, pinching his mouth.

“What?” Seonghwa couldn’t help but ask, his nerves hardening by the minute and Dr. Kim looked up, surprised.

“Excuse me?”

“If you have something to say, say it. No need to mince words or try to spare me.”

The omega saw the doctor furrow his brows as he rested his elbows on his desk to link his fingers together after putting the sheet down, moving closer to Seonghwa across the desk to put more weight in his words and match the omega's attitude.

"Your hormone levels should be much higher post-heat. The ones written on this sheet correspond to a normal level for a healthy omega, not for an individual at the end of their cycle. I assume that with your job you are required to take suppressants." The doctor waited for Seonghwa to approve before continuing. "It will be necessary to stop taking them if you want to conceive a child Mr. Park."

The omega furrowed his brows as he felt his heart pounding in his chest. He still remembered his entry into military school, dreams filling his head anxiously asking the camp doctor if it was dangerous for him to take these drugs, if any long-term risks could arise.

“The military doctor always assured me that there were no contraindications to taking my suppressants.”

“To do your job perhaps.” The doctor replied dryly, certainly seeing his opinion discussed like this and Seonghwa moved closer to him, moving forward in his chair.

“I have regular check-ups and have no problems. I’m fine. Are you sure that’s it?”

Dr. Kim’s gaze hardened a little more as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m the specialist here Mr. Park and if you asked to see me I dare to hope that my opinion has a minimum of interest for you. I’m here to help you find a reason for your problem and if you wish, try to solve it. But if our exchanges are limited to a difference of opinion and a fight, I'm afraid I don't have time for that."

Seonghwa swallowed the scathing retort that tickled his lips and took a deep breath, not taking his eyes off the doctor. He knew he was on the defensive, he knew his personality was so problematic in social relationships, but he couldn't help it and it was with the tip of his lips that he apologized without fooling the doctor, whose nerve jumped in his jaw.

"I'm not going to say that I am your only hope because there are other specialists who are probably very capable of helping you. The door is open if I don't suit you."

"I'm sorry." The omega replied with more conviction this time. "I know it's not an excuse but my job forces me to be like this. I didn't want to disrespect you or question your words. I'm just... Surprised and disappointed I guess that I was never warned about the risks of my treatment."

The silence stretched between the two men before the doctor's gaze softened slightly and he nodded after a while before grabbing a pen that was lying on his desk and a blank sheet of paper.

"I understand. But know that I'm not against you but by your side. We're going to do tests, change your routine and advise accordingly, okay?"

Seonghwa nodded as he watched the doctor draw a timeline on the sheet.

“To start, you’re going to have to stop the suppressants. There are patches to block pheromones that are much less abrasive for the body and that will allow you to purge yourself of your treatment.” The doctor raised his head to make sure that Seonghwa was following and the omega nodded again while remaining silent. “We will do regular blood tests to measure your hormone levels and see its fluctuations. I know that this is not what you want to hear but you will have to be patient and try with your partner.”

“I don’t have anyone. I would like to perform an insemination with an anonymous donor, that’s why your name was suggested to me. My doctor told me that you were the best in this field.”

The specialist stopped his annotations to look into the omega’s eyes. “You don’t have a mate?”

And Seonghwa fell back into his old ways, hardening in the face of the doctor’s disbelief. “So what? It’s not forbidden to want a child without having to worry about a mate.”

Dr. Kim couldn’t help but let out a small, incredulous laugh as he shook his shoulders as he raised his hands in peace. “No, of course not. I’m sorry. Of course we can start the procedure later. Stop your suppressants for now and the rest will come as a reward for your patience, okay?”

But Seonghwa’s patience, already worn thin after months of trying and disappointment, reached its limit as he went from one medical appointment to another and blood tests. It had been almost a year since he had his first appointment with Dr. Kim and it was with a heavy heart and crushed hope that he sat down in front of him that day. He had learned to understand the results of his blood tests, to decipher the levels that remained insufficient despite stopping his treatment and the difficulties that had resulted in doing his job as usual. He who had lived with his hormones trapped for many years lived with great dismay his mood swings and emotional fluctuations. His colleagues did not judge him at all, knowing the medical steps he had taken to conceive a child, but it was difficult to remain the same when his emotions took over his rigor. Yeosang remained his rock on which he no longer hesitated to lean but his helplessness was destroying him little by little. And the look that Dr. Kim gave him that day was the confirmation of what he already knew deep down.

“Can we still try, doctor?”

“The procedure is extremely expensive and has very little chance of succeeding with your results Mr. Park…”

“But there is still a slim chance, isn’t there? I have the money to do it… Please.”

But who was he trying to convince but himself? The doctor’s expressive face left little doubt as to his hopes, the numbers far too low spread out on the computer screen too. Seonghwa saw Dr. Kim run a tired hand over his chin, his eyes avoiding those of the omega, remaining silent as he seemed to think about his proposal. A wedding ring shone on the doctor’s left ring finger, catching the light with each passage of his hand under the neon lights and Seonghwa had visited this office enough times in the very long months to know that no frame displaying personal photos was present in the room but he could still try.

“Do you have children with your partner, Doctor Kim?”

The question seemed to catch the therapist off guard as he looked up at the omega, his eyes wide with surprise.

“Hmm no. I’m not very fond of them.”

“Despite your job?”

A small smile lifted the doctor’s lips and he looked down at his hands. “I help people conceive them. I never see the result in the flesh.”

“Oh… Yeah.” There was no point in playing on the doctor’s heartstrings in this case. Maybe that it was useless to force destiny. Maybe his life path did not include children. Or maybe the choice was no longer possible for him and it was time to assume those he had made in the past. The tender voice of the doctor brought the omega out of his torpor.

“My parents… had a lot of trouble having me. They also had to go through a lot of medical and administrative procedures to be parents and I arrived in their lives 6 years later, after many tears and disappointments. And that is why I chose this profession. To give people what they desire most in their hearts.” The doctor smiled at Seonghwa while the omega inexorably felt tears welling up in his eyes. “I want to help you, Seonghwa. I really do. If you want to try then we will try. I can register you today to benefit from an anonymous sperm donation. Just… Please keep in mind that insemination is not your last option to be a parent. If the result… Is not what you expected and if you want it, I will put you in touch with my colleague who works in the adoption service. Don’t lose hope, okay?”

And maybe that was the Christmas hope he needed to end this mentally difficult year : a new perspective that he could make his dream come true in some way.

*

2 years and 9 months later

“I know, Eomma, but please, I would really prefer to have Christmas at home this year…”

Seonghwa bit his lip as he heard his mother grumble into the receiver. Of course he knew that the news would not delight his mother but he had no doubt that reason would easily forgive him. The omega wedged his phone between his ear and shoulder to free his hands and he smiled as he carefully folded the little pajamas on the changing table.

To say that he had a huge surprise for Christmas was an understatement this year. He remembered, years ago now, when he had announced his wish to do a solo artificial insemination and the stars in his parents’ eyes at that moment, them who were eagerly awaiting the moment when they would have the chance to become grandparents. And he could only remember the following Christmases, where the "What ifs" had haunted all three of them, seated around their festive meal with a lump in their throat and eyes slightly more dull than usual.

But this year, he had good news to tell them.

This year, their grandson would be here. And he still struggled to believe it.

Accompanied by Doctor Kim, the news of the failure of his artificial insemination had been a event that Seonghwa had managed to overcome despite the disappointment and the suffering. Maybe the doctor's harsh but sincere words at that time had helped him more than he had dared to admit. At no time had the specialist lied to him to encourage him, maintaining his professional rigor and honesty throughout the entire process that had been his insemination and it was certainly thanks to that that the omega managed not to collapse when he had taken his pregnancy test after his intervention. The single red bar had jumped out at him and no tears had flowed. He had only thrown away the small plastic test without a backward glance and had shown up to the next appointment, sure of himself and the new steps that awaited him. Maybe his body was failing him on this aspect but certainly not his heart and even less his soul. If his body could not provide him with a child, the World and its misfortunes could. He had chosen to work in the forces of Law and Order to help people and what better way than to resort to adoption to continue on this path? Thanks to him, an innocent child would have the right to start a new life, far from sadness and misery, and it was driven by a new strength that he had made the decision to finally leave his body alone and begin his new crusade. Dr. Kim had explained the process that awaited him in broad outline and, after being redirected to Mr. Jeong, a social worker from the child protection service, he had thrown himself into the deep end.

And now, more than 2 years later, no longer counting the visits to his home, the administrative procedures, the regular appointments with the various organizations and people supervising his application, he was finally rewarded. His little boy was going to be entrusted to him.

He had cried when Mr. Jeong had announced to him that his application had been accepted and that he could now be called to adopt a child in need from a family.

He had cried when he had been summoned to meet the young woman who had chosen him to take care of her unborn little boy.

And now, a few short weeks before the due date, Seonghwa's heart kept pounding as he entered the room he had set up for his little Seeun, his little boy he was waiting for like the most precious gift.

He tried not to let disaster scenarios make their way into his mind. He had heard enough testimonies of people in his situation who had finally experienced the disappointment of seeing their future child taken away from them when the biological mother had retracted her wish while giving birth, but Seonghwa did not want to and could not think about it. Several times he had met the young woman about to offer him her son and she had never stopped thanking the policeman for wanting to take care of her baby, for offering him a life that she could never even dream of for herself. Seonghwa hadn’t questioned her choice, had only answered the many questions she had for him and the relief he had seen in the eyes shining with fear and sadness in front of him was the thing that kept him hopeful.

The hope was mutual and he knew it would never be broken.

“I promise I’ll prepare everything like you usually do Mum.”

“As if I’m going to come empty-handed, my darling! I’m not going to let my boy cook Christmas dinner all by himself!”

And it was with a smile that Seonghwa finished his task of putting away the laundry of the tiny clothes he had bought the day before. Keeping the secret was not easy but he intended to keep it until completion. He was so looking forward to it.

*

Tonight was a night when everything was too much for Seonghwa ; his house too silent, his heart too lonely, his mind too bubbling. Despite his hard day of work, staying at home was not an option and it was after a quick shower and having prepared himself carefully that he had headed downtown. It had been months - years - since the omega had spent the night accompanied and, his nerves on edge and his body boiling, it was time to finally remedy that. Was it the imminent prospect of his parenthood that was driving his omega crazy with desire deep inside him? Probably. The end of his second annual heat? Certainly. An unpleasant tickle tickled his heart as well, a mixture of sorrow and impatience that created a cocktail that was difficult to manage and it was without asking himself any more questions that he had taken a seat on one of the stools of the bar where he had been so used to coming in the past. All he needed was a quick fuck accompanied by alcohol. Nothing more. To enjoy his last moments without responsibilities other than his own person. Anyone could do the trick in theory to take his mind off things.

A sigh escaped him as he sipped his glass of whiskey under the insistent gaze of an alpha on the other side of the bar. He had forgotten how much he hated these moments ; having to seduce before moving on to the interesting things. And he already knew how things were going to go in this specific case. This alpha was going to try his luck with him before realizing that he was absolutely not what his dominant nature expected and was going to leave him stranded, frustrated and most certainly annoyed by their short interaction. No, he didn't need alphas and their stupid sperm anymore.

With his build and attitude, Seonghwa knew he wouldn't have much trouble finding a Beta or Omega partner and maybe tonight was the chance to try. He took a deep breath before turning away from the alpha who continued to devour him with his eyes and turning his attention back to the other customers of the night. And he was going to set his sights on a magnificent Beta who seemed as bored as he was when his gaze was drawn to the hunched silhouette of a man at a table not far from him. He frowned as he recognized him and hesitated for a moment before finally getting up and joining him. Thus in front of him, he noticed the salty pearls on his cheeks despite his head lowered and he cleared his throat while playing with the edge of his glass to attract his attention.

"Doctor Kim?"

The other man jumped slightly before pulling himself together as he recognized his former patient. A small, contrite smile played on his lips and he motioned for Seonghwa to sit down in front of him before wiping his face with a sniff. “Good evening Mr. Park.”

“Please, call me Seonghwa. I’m not your patient anymore.”

Doctor Kim nodded as the omega took a sip of his drink as he sat down. He had always wondered what subgender the doctor belonged to and still had trouble telling today. No scent emanated from him and no trait in his personality seemed to go in the same direction. Did his nonchalance that had so annoyed Seonghwa during their first dates correspond to Beta traits? His emotionality and sensitivity to those of an Omega? Or even an Alpha? He still remembered their first meeting and their mutual nervousness, nervousness that arose in Seonghwa’s body when he was in contact with an Alpha. And the omega was curious and needed to keep his mind busy. He cleared his throat again as he moved closer to the table so he wouldn’t have to raise his voice to be heard.

“You don’t have to answer but… Are you okay?”

Seonghwa saw the man in front of him swallow before sniffing again and mechanically playing with his empty beer bottle. “I’m not sure hearing me talk about my divorce was in your plans tonight.”

The omega’s eyes mechanically landed on the other man’s now jewelry-free finger and he pouted as he slowly swirled his glass on the table to keep his hands busy. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. This relationship was doomed from the start. I was just deliberately blind so I wouldn’t have to correct my mistake. I guess time did it for me.”

Seonghwa smiled slightly at him before taking a sip of his drink. Did he want to stay in the company of his former therapist and mope with him? No. But maybe they could take their minds off things together ? The omega had no more ties with the doctor and had nothing to lose in any case. And he needed to drown in the arms of another man.

“You know what you need? A stronger drink than a simple beer and company.”

“Company hun?”

Was that a hint of desire that Seonghwa could detect in the eyes of the man in front of him? A warm feeling spread in the omega’s belly as he brought the glass to his lips sensually without taking his eyes off him, purring inwardly at the sight of the Adam’s apple bobbing in the doctor’s throat. He didn’t have to look any further, he had found the person he wanted tonight.

“Yeah. It would be a shame to spend the evening moping when we could… Help each other have a good time, Doctor Kim.”

“Hongjoong.”

Seonghwa smiled as he slammed his now empty glass on the table. He hadn’t eaten before coming and the alcohol was already going to his head ; coupled with the desire that was gradually growing as the man in front of him got into his game, the heat was engulfing him entirely. He laughed lightly as he rested his chin in the hollow of his palm before biting his lip delicately, his cheeks red and his head now in the haze of pleasure that he felt almost imminent.

“So, Hongjoong? What do you think?”

The doctor ran his tongue against his lip while looking carefully at the omega, as if trying to probe him with his gaze or weigh the pros and cons. Finally, he nervously ran his hand through his hair before moving forward on the table.

“Why are you here moping tonight? Yunho, sorry Mr. Jeong, told me that you were going to be a father soon.”

Surprise appeared on Seonghwa's features and he opened his teasing eyes wide as he saw the doctor realize his words. "Are we asking about me, doctor?" and the omega couldn't hold back a small laugh as he saw the man blush and stammer.

"Well... I... I like to get to the bottom of things and I just wanted to know if... You know."

"Get me a drink and let's get to the bottom of things then."

A smirk appeared on Hongjoong's lips as he reached out to brush the omega's hand on the table after pulling himself together. "Bold."

"And horny. Can you help me with that too, doctor?"

A flash of doubt crossed the doctor's gaze and he swallowed before clearing his throat under the omega's attentive and greedy eyes.

"I'm... I'm in the middle of divorce proceedings. I'm not in the best frame of mind to be with someone right now."

“I asked for a fuck, not for your heart.”

And the last doubts flew away between them as the doctor got up after a while to go order at the counter after a wink in the direction of Seonghwa who savored his victory. He had never had inappropriate thoughts about the other man when he had called on him in the past but in the subdued light of this bar and his brain stuck in the limbo of desire, no one else mattered to him. He wanted this man, viscerally, and he intended to enjoy this last night of debauchery as he wanted in his company. And it was tangled up on the back seat of the doctor's car, the lips welded and the wandering hands of the omega closing on the knot forming at the base of the other man's sex that Seonghwa was able to satisfy his curiosity at the same time as his desire. Alpha.

*

Seonghwa knew something was wrong when he had to stop in the middle of an intervention to throw up on the side of the road. Yeosang had given him a small questioning look before turning his attention back to the driver he was ticketing and the omega had taken a deep breath before hiding behind their vehicle to throw up again. He wasn't the type to get sick easily and the worry must have been written all over his features when his partner joined him later to find him sitting on the ground rinsing his mouth.

"Are you ok?"

"I don't know."

And Seonghwa had wasted no time in making an appointment with his doctor. Maybe it was food poisoning but he preferred not to take any risks, he who was due to welcome his son in a week now. He couldn't let things drag on. But he was far from the truth when he read the results of the blood test that had been prescribed for him a few days later, wrapped up in his nesting blanket on his couch.

Pregnant.

A nervous laugh had taken possession of him as he tirelessly reread the word he had wanted to see for many years. This long-awaited word that no longer had any reason to exist now that his little boy would soon be joining him.

“Fuck my life.” The omega murmured, running his hand over his face, stunned. Was this a bad joke from fate? Or a test placed in his path? He had just finished furnishing and arranging the nursery to welcome Seeun and although spacious, it lacked equipment for the arrival of a second baby. And how was he going to be able to manage a newborn while being pregnant?

An ironic thought for the doctor made him shake his head while caressing his flat stomach. “Kim Hongjoong… Thank you for your services.” But did he really blame him? Seonghwa had always wanted to be Eomma. And he was about to realize his dream, twice, thanks to him. No, he couldn’t blame him.

The omega had long procrastinated on the steps to follow for the follow-up of his pregnancy. Was it wise to call Hongjoong? He knew how much the doctor didn’t like children and he couldn’t help but dread his reaction if he learned that the baby was his. Not that Seonghwa was obliged to tell him, but a feeling deep inside him made him think that the alpha would find out if they got in touch. Animal instinct didn’t lie. But he pushed the question to the back of his mind when the phone call he had been waiting for forever pulled him out of bed in the middle of the night. Labor had started. His baby was coming.

It was in a hurry and feeling nauseous that Seonghwa got dressed before jumping into his car towards the hospital. His heart on the verge of exploding and tears in his eyes, the omega couldn't stop his leg from jumping while he waited in the waiting room and he took several deep breaths to calm the nausea that seemed to never want to stop. Discreetly, he ran a hand over his stomach and buried his nose in the collar of his sweater to bathe in his own pheromones already sprinkled with notes of milk.

“Be good please. Your big brother is coming soon and we have to be in good shape to welcome him okay?”

And before he knew it, his mind a thousand miles away thinking about the future, the nurse came to get him with a smile on her lips.

“Mr. Park? Someone is asking to see you.”

Did Seonghwa expect to cry? Of course he did. But nothing could have prepared him for the wave of emotions that washed over him when he entered the operating room after being dressed from head to toe only to be met with the exhausted and tearful eyes of the young woman lying on the operating table, the little baby screaming at the top of his lungs in the doctor’s arms.

“The baby needs to feel you to assimilate you as his parent.”

Shaking and in tears, Seonghwa nodded frantically as the nurse helped him open his hospital gown to reveal his torso and a sob escaped him as his baby was placed against his skin. He had a son. After so much ordeal, he had finally achieved his dream. A nervous laugh shook his shoulders as he rested his cheek against his baby’s head and he couldn’t help but turn towards the young woman who was being cleaned and cared for.

“Thank you… Thank you for everything.”

“Take care of him… Please.”

And Seonghwa had never been more honest than when he answered her. “I will protect him with my life.” With his little treasure in the crook of his arms, his milky scent filling his nose and his little hands already clinging to him, he had never been happier.

The following days passed in a total hormonal blur for Seonghwa. After taking the time to warn his boss, Yeosang and, especially, his best friend Wooyoung, he had not moved from his son's side. Installed in a room with the little crib, at no time had he tired of looking at him, talking to him, gorging himself on him. He still couldn't believe it. The first hours had been difficult and quite anxiety-provoking for the omega who was waiting like a guillotine to see the young woman arrive to proclaim Seeun's parenthood but the days had passed now and the young mother had not given any sign of life to Seonghwa. The paperwork completed, he was officially the father of Park Seeun and the happiest man on earth. Nothing and no one could alter his happiness. His nausea didn't make things easy but it was with pleasure that he gave him the bottles that were brought to him and that he changed his first diapers. Sensing his trouble, the doctor had worried more than once when he saw the omega hold back his nausea at each smell disturbing his stomach and Seonghwa had no choice but to confess to him that he himself was now pregnant. He expected to be judged but the doctor had congratulated him warmly when he saw the picture that the omega represented, his baby in his arms and a small bean growing in his belly.

"Do you want a quick consultation? It is important to have a follow-up for your pregnancy."

And that's how he had been able to see for the first time the small spot nestled in the hollow of his uterus on the ultrasound screen. All this was very real. He was a father and Eomma to come.

It was with the help of Wooyoung and his mate San that Seonghwa left the hospital with his son miraculously deeply asleep in his stroller given the little cries that Wooyoung kept making while looking at him.

“He’s so little hyung!! Look at him! He’s adorable!”

And the motion sickness coupled with his friend’s excitement and the overflowing emotions cut Seonghwa in two as soon as he got out of the car. “ Why did I want to be pregnant again? ” The omega mentally flagellated himself as he vomited his guts into his trash can on the side of the road under the worried gaze of his two friends prostrated a few meters away from him, the stroller in their hands.

“Are you ok hyung?”

“Have you caught something?”

“A knot inside my fucking ass ” Seonghwa muttered between his teeth before taking a deep breath and wiping his mouth. Seeun's milk scent was supposed to effectively mask his pheromones but he knew he wouldn't be able to hide the truth for long. What was the point anyway? His friends were waiting as impatiently as he was for his paternity and he suspected that the news would be well received after an obvious shock.

He was preparing Seeun's bottle, his friends on the couch with the baby who was slowly waking up when the omega dropped the bombshell.

"I'm pregnant."

And the silence that settled in the room made him burst out laughing when he approached the couch where even his baby was looking at him with wide eyes.

"You should see your faces. Adorable all three of you."

"You're what?"

Seonghwa smiled at them as he handed the bottle to San who had expressed his wish earlier to feed Seeun. With a lump in his throat, the omega ran a hand over his still flat stomach before looking at them with tears in his eyes.

“I'm pregnant."

Wooyoung was the first to react and jumped up from the couch to hug him and Seonghwa had to force himself not to burst into tears in his friend's arms. He didn't want to cry in front of Seeun and trigger an impromptu crying fit and he took a deep, choppy breath before moving away, a dazzling smile on his face.

“I didn't know you were still trying to conceive, hyung! Congratulations!”

“I'm…” The omega bit his lip before laughing softly as he ran his hand through his hair. “It wasn’t meant to be…”

It only took a few seconds for the information to sink in Wooyoung’s brain and he gave him a dirty smile while lightly tapping his shoulder. “Are we having fun, mommy?”

“Let’s just say… I wanted to enjoy my last moments alone.*

A laugh escaped Wooyoung who patted Seonghwa’s butt before sitting back down next to San on the couch.

“I hope for you that you enjoyed it, yes, because it’s over now!”

But Seonghwa didn’t care. He knew that his solitude was about to be over when he had spent the night with Hongjoong. He wasn’t one to worry about a reason anymore. The omega tenderly ran his hand over his stomach as he settled down at the foot of the couch on his nesting cushions and he raised his eyebrows in question when he saw San’s stunned gaze on him.

“What?”

“You’re pregnant.”

A small laugh shook Seonghwa’s shoulders as he wiped a drop of milk from Seeun’s chin with his finger. “Yes, I am.”

“With a newborn baby.”

The omega shrugged as he adjusted the position of the bottle. “One or two.”

“But you’re alone. Do you know the father? Will he help you?”

A lump formed in Seonghwa’s throat as he tried his best to forget it. His friend’s questions were legitimate but he prided himself on staying positive. Everything was going to be okay. He didn’t need Hongjoong. The doctor was very clear about children and Seonghwa wasn’t asking him anything. He didn’t even have to know. He wasn't the only gynecologist in town and the omega had already made an appointment with the person who had examined him at the hospital for the rest of his pregnancy. Hongjoong had done his job (twice rather than once) and Seonghwa would be eternally grateful to him but things ended there between them.

"I'm not alone. My parents will be there. I haven't told them yet because I want to surprise them at Christmas by introducing them to Seeun. I'll tell them I'm pregnant then too. And yes I know the father but it doesn't matter. I don't want him in our lives."

And if San remained skeptical, he only pursed his lips before turning his attention back to the baby in his arms. Seonghwa understood the fears his friend might have but he knew he could do it. With willpower, anything was possible.

But Seonghwa didn't have to wait long before he slowly went crazy. Not that Seeun was a difficult baby, quite the contrary, but the same wasn't true of the one growing in his belly. While Seeun almost never cried, only when he had a fever or pain, slept most of his nights without any problems and was simply the perfect little baby, Bean was a nightmare. The omega had lost count of the number of times he had thrown up because of it and had passed out because of smells or stimuli that were too strong for his senses that seemed heightened. At first, wanting not to spread the information too much, he had been forced to inform his boss to tell him that he wasn't sure he would be able to return to work after the 4 weeks he was entitled to due to paternity. Yeosang had found it hilarious to see his colleague chain paternity and maternity leaves in a row and Seonghwa could have laughed too if he didn't spend his time bent in two in the toilet bowl. He just wanted to spend peaceful and comfortable time with his son, not like a teenager with an endless hangover. Christmas was in 2 weeks, he was already dreading having to bathe in the smells of the dishes that his mother and himself were going to have to concoct. Fortunately, Seeun's check-up appointment fell at the right time to be able to talk to the doctor about it. Maybe he could have a solution to soothe his stomach. But Seonghwa received the doctor's diagnosis like a slap in the face while he was examining a wise and smiling Seeun on the table.

"One of the simplest methods to calm nausea is to be in contact with the child's biological father. His pheromones can soothe your omega and the baby at the same time and make your life easier.”

Seonghwa didn’t answer, preferring to grit his teeth as he watched his son being dressed wisely like the little angel he was. “ Why aren’t you like your brother, Bean? ” He thought very loudly as he picked Seeun up in his arms to install him in his stroller.

“There are also medications if ever the father… Is no longer part of your life. But know that nothing will be more effective than pheromones on your Omega.”

And maybe it was a sign of destiny not to keep Hongjoong away from all this. No, he didn’t want the alpha as a partner but maybe he had the right to know that one of his seeds had germinated…

Having no other way to contact him, Seonghwa made an appointment with the doctor a few days after Christmas. The omega's parents, overjoyed and ecstatic, had promptly offered to babysit their grandson while their boy went to take care of their second grandchild and it was alone and with a heavy heart that Seonghwa waited in Doctor Kim's waiting room. And the first realization that made him sigh was to see how much better he already felt knowing the alpha was not far from him. He couldn't detect his pheromones (as usual) but something deep inside him (certainly Bean) seemed soothed in Hongjoong's close presence.

"Seon... Park Seonghwa."

The omega took a deep breath before finally getting up and plunging his gaze into the surprised one of the alpha. Seonghwa gave him a small smile that he knew was tight before following him into his office. He tried not to think about the last circumstances in which they had met but failed miserably when the doctor brushed past him before settling on the other side of the desk. He remembered the man’s hands and lips on him, how good a time they had had together. But also how it all ended, the reason why he was here. The doctor cleared his throat while Seonghwa thought about how to approach the subject without disturbing Hongjoong too much. His attention thus drawn, the omega could see how lost the alpha was, his big eyes resembling those of Puss in Boots, which made him smile tenderly. He hoped that his child would inherit that adorable look.

“I didn’t think I’d see you in my office again, Mr. Park.”

“I’m not your patient anymore,” Seonghwa had told him that night and he knew that Hongjoong had to hold on to that certainty before giving up and succumbing to his charms. Seeing him again as a patient was certainly not in his plans.

“This will be the last time, don’t worry.”

Curious, the doctor frowned before nodding slowly. Seonghwa couldn’t tell if it was relief or sadness that furtively crossed the alpha’s gaze and he took a deep breath before launching himself. There was no point beating around the bush, especially since he hated it.

“I’m pregnant.”

The doctor’s eyes widened as he opened his mouth without a sound coming out and Seonghwa could have laughed his head off if he didn’t have the second part of the information that risked making the room implode.

“Wow… Congratulations Seon.. Mr. Park. You must be in heaven. Daily life must be tough with a young baby and a pregnancy in progress. Would you please settle down so I can examine you?”

The omega nodded wisely before getting up to sit on the examination table. He wasn’t here for that but preferred to let the doctor go about his business to make things less difficult. And he didn’t regret it when Hongjoong moved closer to him to be able to examine him and his presence instantly soothed Bean. No more nausea, no more troubles, just peace, which he hadn’t known for several weeks now. Seonghwa closed his eyes as he inhaled when the doctor delicately felt his abdomen.

“Any problems in particular?”

“Nausea…”

“It’s quite common in early pregnancy to feel this kind of…”

“The baby is yours.”

Hongjoong's hands stopped on Seonghwa's stomach, who finally opened his eyes to fall into the stunned ones above him. The omega swallowed at the silence before speaking again.

“It's ok. I'm not asking you for anything, okay? I know you don't like children and you don't want any. That's not why I'm here. My nausea is very violent and the doctor I saw advised me to... to be in contact with the father. He told me that your pheromones could calm me down.”

The omega saw the doctor's glottis make a difficult back and forth in his throat while he resumed his palpations gently, probably to keep himself occupied.

"Is that the case?”

And there was no point in lying. “Yes. I haven't felt this good since I got pregnant.”

A small, tight smile lifted the doctor's lips and he finally withdrew his fingers before running a hand to the back of his neck, clearing his throat. "I'm glad then."

Seonghwa nodded softly as he looked at him carefully. The alpha's mind seemed a thousand miles away and he bit his lip as he pulled his t-shirt down over his stomach and straightened up. "I... I'm not going to waste any more of your time. I just wanted to see if the doctor's theory was confirmed. I'll pay for the consultation and leave you."

"How are you going to do it?"

The omega was rummaging through his bag but he stopped at the doctor's tone. "About what?"

"Your nausea. If only my presence relieves it, how are you going to do it?"

Seonghwa couldn't tell what the alpha was feeling and his fixed, empty gaze didn't help him at all. He knew before coming that he wouldn't leave with a father for his child (because he didn't want one in the first place) and he felt stupid now for having wanted to test this theory, a moment of peace in exchange for a life turned upside down. He had been selfish. And he now blamed himself for it when faced with the doctor's lost face. Ashamed, he lowered his nose as he put on his jacket and picked up his bag.

"I'll find a solution. Thank you at least for this moment of calm. It... did me good. Take care of yourself, doctor."

And the omega was getting ready to go out to settle the consultation with the secretary when Hongjoong stopped him with a hand on the wrist. Frozen, Seonghwa let him do it while the alpha conscientiously tied his own scarf around the omega’s neck and he gave him a small embarrassed smile as he met his surprised gaze.

“Maybe it will help you a little and relieve you… No need to pay for the consultation. I… I’m sorry I can’t do more.”

But it was already more than Seonghwa could have hoped for. And if he blushed as he buried his nose in the garment on his way to his car, no one witnessed it. He knew that this scarf had just become one of his most precious possessions. For the sake of his health and his baby, of course.

Life with Seeun, although different, only took a few weeks to become routine for Seonghwa. He felt blessed by the gods to have such an adorable newborn who was able to let him sleep and who spent his time looking at the world around him with his big curious eyes. Every morning, he woke up facing the amazed orbs of his son, who looked at him from his butterfly bed placed next to his bed, and the omega felt himself melting a little more each day. He was totally under the spell of his son, his little boy that he had waited for so long and who was indispensable to him. Their ritual was well-established now. He woke up and took the little pup against him the time to fully emerge from his night for a session of cuddles and scenting before getting up and giving him his bottle. He then placed him on his play mat after his burp the time to prepare his own breakfast and enjoy it sitting on the floor in the company of his baby's babbling. Hongjoong's scarf had been working miracles since he had it in his possession and it was without nausea that Seonghwa now got up and could enjoy his son. He would have liked to thank the doctor once again but did not know how to go about it without seeming invasive towards him. He had already taken up enough space in the doctor's life and preferred to be forgotten now. He did not know how long the magic of the scarf would work but hoped for as long as possible so as not to have to impose his presence on the other man again.

Seonghwa took his courage in both hands that day and was determined to make new purchases for Bean's arrival after his 3rd month visit. The doctor had been more than reassuring when he examined the omega earlier in the day ; the baby was developing very well and Seonghwa was doing better (despite the alpha's pheromones being almost non-existent on his scarf now) and the specialist had informed him that the worst of the nausea was supposed to have passed but that new disorders could possibly manifest themselves with the lack of the alpha genitor. But Seonghwa didn't want to think about it. He was going to have to live without Hongjoong anyway and had made a promise to himself not to involve him in his life in any way. If he were to be sick, he would find solutions to relieve himself without bothering the alpha. With the presence of his friends and parents, Seonghwa couldn't say that he needed company on a daily basis. He had always been resourceful and knew that his stubborn nature helped him greatly despite everything but he occasionally felt a void deep inside him that just needed to be filled and he couldn't say that he was happy about it. He suspected that his pregnancy triggered this lack caused by the absence of Hongjoong by his side but didn't plan on letting go anytime soon. He had never wanted a mate and Bean would have to settle for his Eomma.

The omega was wandering the aisles of the maternity store, which he had already visited a few months ago, in search of a second baby bed when he crossed paths with the person he least expected to see there. Surprised, Seonghwa hesitated for a few seconds when he saw the alpha scratching his head in front of the bottles and other breastfeeding equipment before finally approaching him. He would have liked to say that it was only politeness that pushed him to show himself but that would have been lying to himself. His omega wanted the opportunity to get closer to the alpha and bathe briefly in his pheromones, not to mention Bean who seemed to pour his share of dopamine into Seonghwa's body to feel his father so close. Did this mixture please the policeman? Not really but he had no choice now when he met Hongjoong's gaze. "Hi."

"H.. Hi Mr Park and... little Mr Park."

A small laugh shook the omega's shoulders as he saw the doctor take a quick look at Seeun sleeping in his stroller.

"Please... You're not my doctor anymore and we know each other intimately enough to call each other by our first names, don't you think?"

Red in his cheeks and ears, Hongjoong nodded several times while clearing his throat, his eyes still fixed on the stroller.

“Can I ask what you’re doing here? This is the last place I would have expected to see you.”

The question seemed to snap the alpha out of his admiration and he blinked several times before scratching the back of his neck.

“Oh yeah… I…” He sighed in defeat before shoving his hands in his pockets and pulling them out nervously under Seonghwa’s amused gaze. He had always found it amusing to see how different the other man’s personality was when he was outside of a professional setting.

“I was looking for a gift to give you.”

The omega opened his eyes wide as the doctor took a bottle in his hand to avoid meeting Seonghwa’s gaze. Stunned, the latter couldn’t help but run a hand over his stomach as a warmth starting from Bean spread throughout his body. “Alpha wants to give us a gift” his cells shouted at him and he felt his ears redden in spite of himself.

“You… You don’t have to.”

“But I want to. If… you allow me.”

No. “Yes.” And if Seonghwa hadn’t been afraid of attracting attention, he could have growled at his own wolf for making decisions for him. But he could only admit defeat when hormones overwhelmed him like now and he smiled, gritting his teeth to put on a brave face and not let his inner struggle show. Hongjoong’s eyes sparkled when they landed on him once again and the omega couldn’t stay angry for long while looking at him. The alpha knew how to be endearing when he wanted to be, he had to admit it.

“Okay… okay! Do you need anything in particular then?”

Maybe Seonghwa was willing to let his omega be satisfied but certainly not for something as important as Bean's bed. He was independent enough to buy himself the necessities, thank you very much.

“You can get him a plushie if you want. His first.”

And the omega said nothing as he found himself with the most malicious squirrel he had ever seen in front of him, offered by a shy but happy smiling Hongjoong after having conscientiously walked around the store.

This wasn’t how he had planned his baby shopping afternoon, but so be it. He couldn’t refuse a gift that was offered so willingly.

“Do you and your partner want to leave with your purchase today or would you prefer home delivery?”

Seonghwa was paying for his new bed when the question caught him off guard. Hongjoong next to him seemed to lose all the color in his face as his fingers froze on his stuffed squirrel and the omega cleared his throat, laughing nervously.

“How much is home delivery? I’m not sure if the package will fit in my car.”

“I can take it in mine.”

The alpha’s intervention startled Seonghwa who turned in his direction as if he had seen a ghost. His face and neck now crimson, Hongjoong looked like he wanted to be a thousand miles away from here, maybe that was why he was offering his services, but determined to offer his help regardless. Sensing the omega's hesitation, the doctor insisted. "I have plenty of room."

"You don't have to..."

"Please. Let me do this for you. It'll be faster and don't waste your money on this while I'm here."

Seonghwa weighed the pros and cons for a few seconds before finally nodding and turning to the cashier who was waiting. He didn't like going against his independent nature but his omega was driving him crazy to scream to accept deep down. "We'll leave with it then."

And Hongjoong didn't wait any longer before exiting the store and letting the omega finish his purchase, making Seonghwa smile tenderly. He suspected how disturbing the situation must be for him and he didn't waste any more time before collecting his withdrawal slip and following him outside with Seeun in his stroller. The doctor was sitting on a bench on the edge of the parking lot, the stuffed animal in his hands, when the omega joined him and settled down next to him in silence. Usually nonexistent, the alpha's pheromones were detectable at the end of the day and Seonghwa had to force himself not to stick to him like a mosquito. Seeun made a small noise in his stroller and the omega pulled him closer to him so he could adjust his blanket that had slipped from his chin. He was caressing his cheek with the tip of his finger when he felt the alpha's gaze on them like earlier in the day. Was Hongjoong curious to see what his son looked like? His omega was jubilant (and Seonghwa exhausted by his own wolf).

“Do you want to see him?”

Like a rabbit caught in the headlights, the doctor’s eyes widened in surprise when the policeman’s eyes landed on him. Seonghwa teasingly winked at him. “He’s asleep, he can’t do anything to you.”

Hongjoong grumbled, blushing before nodding and moving slightly closer to the stroller, and to the omega in passing who was able to inhale the other man’s musky and woody scent with full lungs. Seonghwa held back a shiver at the thought of being surrounded by the scent of his little Bean’s father by biting his lip and he turned his attention back to Hongjoong’s big, half-frightened eyes as he watched his baby with his mouth half open.

“His name is Seeun.”

“He’s… so small.”

A tender laugh shook Seonghwa's shoulders as he looked at the picture of the alpha and his sleeping son. And that strange feeling he felt in the presence of the alpha grew stronger to his dismay. The omega had long since given up on ever having a mate. Being a single parent and extremely difficult to please, he knew that his future was destined to revolve around his children and himself. But with Hongjoong by their side, Seonghwa felt the hope of a new perspective that he had never considered.

Hongjoong hated children and yet... It was a small smile that the omega saw on the doctor's lips. They were stars of admiration that he saw in his eyes. They were sweet notes that he detected in his scent that encompassed them like an embrace cutting them off from the world here, on this bench, just the three of them (four...).

Seonghwa didn’t want a mate and yet…

Hongjoong jumped when Seeun opened his eyes and he pulled back slightly under the amused gaze of the omega.

“Oh! He’s awake.”

“The call of hunger. It’s time to go home that means.”

Hongjoong nodded, mesmerized by Seeun’s small hands fidgeting in his blanket before clearing his throat and standing up. “The furniture depot is at the back of the store?”

“Yeah…” Seonghwa replied as he straightened up as well.

“I’ll meet you there then. Take your time to join me. Can I have your withdrawal slip?”

The omega handed him the paper without a word and Hongjoong gave him a smile before waving at him and heading towards his car, leaving Seonghwa with his legs like cotton wool and his heart pounding in his chest. Stupid hormones.

And that very night, lying in bed with the stuffed squirrel against his chest (only to bathe it in his own pheromones, obviously), Seeun by his side and his hand tenderly caressing the tiny bump of his belly, Seonghwa found himself for the first time in his life trying to imagine what the future might look like with the alpha by their side. What life might hold for them with a father and a mate by their side.

*

The first time Hongjoong knocked on Seonghwa’s door after that day when he helped him buy the bed, it was to bring him vitamins for his pregnancy. Nothing more. Rocking on his heels on the front steps of the house, the alpha had only handed him the bag of medicine and exchanged a few words before slipping away and leaving a surprised but slightly giddy Seonghwa.

The second time, he happened to be passing through the neighborhood with his arms full of pastries and had thought “why not drop some off to Seonghwa on the way” (obviously) which the omega had happily accepted to calm his sugar cravings (only)

The third because he had bought a set of scarf and beanie in duplicate, silly of him really, and he had said “why not give it to Seonghwa since I noticed that you were often cold”.

But the fourth time, the omega had not let him find the lame excuse that he knew would surely come out of his mouth and had caught him off guard by saying “Hongjoong, if you want to see me you just have to say so. Come inside now, please” and that’s how the alpha found himself sitting on the omega’s couch, his hands tucked under his buttocks and his big eyes looking everywhere around him. Seonghwa had excused himself after settling him down and had quickly slipped away in the hopes of calming his red cheeks and the beating of his heart by retrieving Seeun who had just woken up in his room. He huffed as he leaned over to retrieve the toddler and ran a hand down his back after securing his son against his chest. His 5-month-old belly, without greatly hindering his movements, was starting to pull on his muscles and the aches and pains were becoming numerous from having to take care of a baby and a house alone in addition to his job that he was currently doing part-time but he held on. His physical ability as a policeman fortunately helped him greatly in the tasks assigned to him but some days like today were more difficult than others. The omega had woken up with new nausea, Hongjoong's scarf had long since lost its scent and he could have cried with relief when the alpha had knocked on the door. He felt exhausted and sick and would have given anything to be able to snuggle up against the other man sitting like a shy child on his couch. He couldn't say what was the reason Hongjoong kept wanting to see him. He had always been clear about his position on children, Seonghwa too, on the opposite side. So what was pushing the alpha to come tirelessly? Did his pheromones force him to be near his unborn child? Or was it something else? He didn't know what to think anymore. When Seonghwa returned to his living room, Hongjoong was looking at the already numerous photos of Seeun displayed on the wall, a smile on his lips. Caught red-handed, the alpha had straightened up, blushing, but the omega had omitted any comment by placing Seeun on his play mat, his face pale. “Do you want something to drink? Something to eat?”

Hongjoong had frowned when he saw the omega grimace before nodding negatively. “Are you ok?”

“Tired and sick.”

Embarrassed, the alpha had put his hands in his pockets, avoiding his gaze and especially Seeun’s inquisitive gaze which devoured him with his big curious eyes. “I’m sorry to disturb you… I’ll let you rest. It’s stupid of me to keep bothering you like this.”

“No!”

The two men jumped at Seonghwa's outburst that the omega couldn't hold back. Finding himself alone was the last thing he wanted right now, being without Hongjoong would be the worst torture and his wolf left him no choice but to accept the alpha's presence. But no matter what, he didn't have the strength or the will to fight.

"No, please stay. My omega needs you. I... I want you here. Please."

And it was with a slight blush on his cheeks that the alpha smiled at him before nodding. Seonghwa didn't know what was going to become of their new dynamic but he couldn't bring himself to care more than was reasonable when his house was finally bathed in Hongjoong and his omega's pheromones soothed deep down.

*

“What are you doing? A staring match?” the omega asked with a laugh as he brought a meal tray into the living room. Sitting on the floor facing Seeun in his butterfly bed, Hongjoong didn’t take his eyes off him. Sure, Seonghwa had asked the alpha to watch him before heading to the kitchen, but he didn’t expect to find them frozen like hounds in front of a terrier.

“He started it. He’s been staring at me since you left.”

The omega rolled his eyes as he put his load on the coffee table and let himself fall with all his weight onto the couch, massaging the bottom of his stomach where Bean had hit him.

“It’s a baby. Everything is intriguing to him.”

And Seonghwa didn’t miss the alpha’s grumble as he replied “why me,” which made him laugh inwardly. He didn't understand the obsession Seeun could have for Hongjoong either, but the fact that the doctor was coming by daily now that the omega was approaching 7 months of pregnancy was certainly a start. Every morning, he never failed to bring pastries. Every evening, he came to dinner. And if at first the alpha's visits were under the guise of improving Seonghwa's comfort and health, it was more now. Because the omega deeply loved the presence of the doctor by their side, Seeun and him, and there was no point in lying to each other any longer.

He loved the other man's daily attentions, his attentive and affectionate gaze on him and his increasingly limited movements. He loved the clumsy but always willing way of taking care of Seeun when Seonghwa had to leave to go to the bathroom or get his snacks in the kitchen. And more than anything, he loved the efforts Hongjoong made for him, going from the presence of his baby to supporting his difficult character accentuated by hormones and fatigue. Not once had the alpha protested when Seonghwa had bared his fangs at him or ignored the little baby to get closer only to the omega. And this observation continued to melt the barriers that Seonghwa had thought impenetrable around his heart.

He had never wanted a mate for the simple reason that no alpha was ready to support the package that he was and wanted to be. But things were different with Hongjoong, he felt it deep down. His job had proven to him more than once that instinct rarely deceives and in the company of the alpha, his own told him that this was his place. For a long time he had tried to push away Wooyoung's crazy ideas who yelled at him that there was a reason if his body had allowed Hongjoong's seed to fertilize him after all that. But he saw it as a sign of destiny now too. All this was no coincidence. His omega had chosen his alpha and he just had to act accordingly.

Seonghwa came out of his thoughts when Hongjoong settled down next to him on the couch to fill their bowls with food, his eyes still fixed on Seeun who was smiling while waving his hands and who had still not taken his eyes off him.

"Look at your dad. Look how beautiful he is, look at him now. Not me."

"Do you think I'm beautiful?" And the omega's heart skipped a beat as he saw the realization on the alpha's face, the red invading his cheeks and ears. The wolf deep inside Seonghwa purred softly and despite all his efforts, he knew Hongjoong could hear him. But what was the point of hiding it? He was happy in the moment and nothing and no one could take away the alpha's words now anchored in his memory.

“Of course you are…”

“Because I’m round with your child?”

The alpha remained silent while they finished filling their bowls and he delicately handed one to Seonghwa who accepted it  before placing it on his round belly.

“I've always found you beautiful. Since the first time you came to my office.” A shy little laugh shook Hongjoong's shoulders as he mechanically played with the grains of rice in his bowl under Seonghwa's shining eyes. “I… still have a hard time believing my luck to be the one… Who will offer you what you dream of the most in the world. It may be selfish but I tell myself that a part of me will always be with you, no matter what happens. The best I hope, that the baby does not take on my bad habits of not putting my clothes away.”

The omega’s silence made the doctor raise his head and he laughed nervously seeing that he had the devoted attention of the entire Park family. “Stop looking at me you two, please.” Hongjoong whined, hiding his face in his bowl.

“I’m… I’m happy that you’re the father too.” Seonghwa murmured, tenderly caressing his taut belly. A small smile appeared on his lips and he sniffled as he felt the emotion invade him. “And I know it’s not something you want to hear but… I’m sure you’d be a very good father.”

“It’s not like you need my services in that area.”

And Hongjoong’s broken voice was the last stone in the building that had been building in Seonghwa’s mind for several weeks now. He had nothing to lose, everything to gain.

“What if I wanted it? To have you by my side as the father of our baby? Would you feel brave enough?”

Hongjoong made them jump by dropping his spoon on the coffee table and he apologized to Seeun who had opened his eyes wide in surprise. But Seonghwa couldn’t answer him, his throat too tight with emotion and expectation. Finally, the alpha swallowed and found the courage to meet the omega’s gaze.

“You… You want me in your life?”

“You’ve never judged any of my choices. You accept my temper and more importantly… You accept my son even if he terrifies you.” Seonghwa laughed tenderly as he saw the alpha blush again. “But I know you don’t like children. And I would never inflict that on you if you don’t want it. I’m sorry but if you want me, there are 2 little bonus packages.”

Seeun chose this moment to squeal in his bed and the omega took advantage of the distraction to breathe. He saw Hongjoong thinking hard, his bowl long forgotten on his lap and Seonghwa put his on the table to get up.

“I’ll get you your bottle, honey. Be good with Hongjoong.”

He couldn’t stop his heart from pounding in his chest as he warmed his milk with trembling hands. He had always been sure of himself and his decisions, not one to regret. But what if Hongjoong slammed the door in their faces? He knew the regrets would eat him alive, torture him with their “What ifs.” He shook himself when the bottle warmer beeped to indicate the correct temperature and he took a deep breath as he finished it.

But when Seonghwa came back into the living room, he opened his mouth in surprise when he saw the alpha with his baby in his arms and tears welled up in his eyes when the latter reached out to retrieve the bottle. “Can I try?” And the omega nodded tenderly as he stood by his side to guide him, his heart overflowing with affection as he encircled the alpha’s hand with his own to guide the bottle correctly. He had no reason to doubt Destiny. And maybe he was ready to live like this for the rest of his days.

And it was natural that this vacant place in the omega’s heart and by his side was filled over the days. The question no longer arose since Hongjoong had insisted on accompanying Seonghwa to his 8-month checkup. “If you promise not to make any comments” the omega had demanded when the doctor had begged him to let him come with him.

“If this colleague does a good job, I won’t have any comments to make” the alpha had sulked and Seonghwa had only rolled his eyes as he got into the doctor’s car under the sharp gaze of Wooyoung and San at the living room window, the two men having been called to babysit Seeun. The omega hadn’t known what to say the first time his friends had met Hongjoong. How should he introduce him? Was he a friend? An acquaintance? His former doctor? But the alpha had taken matters into his own hands by introducing himself as the father of the unborn baby and the 3 friends had opened their eyes wide at his honesty. Since then, Wooyoung had not stopped grilling Seonghwa on why and how the “sperm supplier” spent most of his time at the omega’s but the policeman had only revealed the surface by saying that the alpha’s pheromones helped him a lot. Out of the question to rush things and say that Hongjoong was potentially hypothetically one day maybe his future mate. Even if it was the truth deep down. Seonghwa had enough courting gifts from the alpha to understand that Hongjoong was serious about the evolution of their relationship and it was maybe time to let him into his life a little more now.

“Stay tonight.” Seonghwa murmured while rubbing his arms in the hall of his house while watching Hongjoong put on his shoes. The omega had insisted that Wooyoung and San stay with them after they returned and put Seeun to bed for dinner with friends and Seonghwa expected to spend the evening with the alpha as usual but had been surprised when he had taken advantage of the couple of friends leaving to get up as well. But the omega didn't want to be alone, even less now that his term was approaching and his contractions were intensifying as the days went by.

Tetanized, the alpha looked up, swallowing, and straightened up, his sneaker in his hand. "You... want me to stay?"

"Yes. A real night in a bed. The two of us. To sleep. Just sleep." The policeman felt compelled to clarify as he saw the cogs in Hongjoong's head come to life to the point of smoking. "I... want to sleep in your arms. And wake up with you. Do you want that?"

Because Seonghwa wanted more than anything to deepen their relationship now that the alpha was a constant presence in his life. He wanted more. So much more. His hormones were working on him more than was reasonable because of his forced abstinence and although he was tugging at the desire, it was the simplest contact that he missed. The body heat of another body to snuggle against. The omega knew he hadn't misinterpreted the alpha's intentions but was it too fast for him?

But the doctor had already put his shoe down and started to remove the first one before Seonghwa even finished his sentence, making him smile. And the omega intertwined their fingers tenderly before pulling him after him towards his room where he wasted no time before snuggling under the duvet with him after changing into his night clothes. A monstrous sigh escaped the omega when his head touched the pillow and he waited a few seconds for the alpha to be settled before discreetly getting closer to him (as much as his big belly allowed him).

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. You?”

The omega sniffed softly before sliding his hand on the arm of the alpha standing still at his side. “I'm glad you’re here.”

Hongjoong seemed to relax slightly and turned his head in the direction of Seonghwa who was looking at him tenderly. “Can I… touch you? Hug you?”

And the omega thanked the dark atmosphere that must have hidden his red cheeks as he accepted with the tip of his lips before turning around. He felt Hongjoong hesitate before finally nestling against his back and burying his nose against his neck to whisper. “Can I touch your belly?”

Seonghwa smiled as he felt the doctor’s hesitation and took his hand to place it on his big belly, where Bean kept hitting. “You can touch me. I’m not made of glass.”

“I know. I’ve never met anyone as strong as you. You are a true role model and an inspiration.”

And the omega couldn’t hold back a little satisfied purr as he snuggled a little more in the alpha’s warm. For the first time in his life, his strength wasn’t a problem but a source of admiration and he could allow himself the right to be tender with the certainty that it wouldn’t be used against him. He was falling slowly but surely into the arms of Morpheus when Hongjoong’s voice reached his ear.

“You know… I can’t forget your pleading eyes when you asked me to do the insemination that day… I knew it wouldn’t work but… Your eyes… I would have given you anything to erase the sadness.”

“You did it. And more.”

“And I’ll give you everything I have if you let me.”

Seonghwa’s throat tightened and he sniffled as he turned in the alpha’s arms. Delicately, he slid his hands over his cheeks and pressed their foreheads together, caressing it tenderly.

“No need. I have everything I want now."

And the omega made the last doubts disappear by crossing the distance separating them for a kiss that tasted like the very first. The taste of love and a future that he was eager to live alongside this alpha who had turned everything upside down for the better in his life.

*

Five years later

Seonghwa groaned when a loud noise suddenly pulled him out of sleep and he blinked when the morning sun dazzled him through the half-open curtains of the room. In the hallway, a running noise followed by a whisper-scream made him smile and he rubbed his face when he heard his mate's desperate voice.

"Junmin, let Eomma sleep and come have lunch with your brother!"

And the omega stretched out on the mattress, feeling his last moments of rest on this Sunday morning fly away, knowing full well that he only had a few seconds before the bedroom door flew open and a tornado jumped on him, a sorry Hongjoong following behind.

It was funny to think sometimes how fate could play funny jokes. Was the fact that Seeun was an angel fallen from the sky some kind of trap to attract Hongjoong and make him want to start a family with him? The omega couldn't say it, but the fact was that where Seeun was the most adorable baby and little boy in the world, Junmin was... chaos incarnate. They had lost count of the number of sleepless nights, visits to the pediatrician and other vigils that the two men had had to live through in the first months of their youngest's life. A difficult and capricious baby, Seonghwa had been sorry more than once to find Hongjoong in tears some evenings when the omega was unfortunately on duty and the alpha left to his own devices with the two babies but the doctor had always assured him that everything was fine.

“No, everything is not fine Hongjoong. I have the impression that I see you crying more often than smiling…”

But the alpha always snuggled into the arms of the policeman, exhausted and nervously at the end of his rope, before purring softly against him. These moments were always the most difficult for Seonghwa, when he realized how difficult the situation was for the other man.

“For you, the boys and you, I would do anything.”

“You didn’t want children and look at you…”

But Hongjoong always reassured him by kissing him tenderly and bathing him in his loving pheromones.

“I love being a father. This is the hardest challenge of my life, I can't say otherwise, but I wouldn't trade my place for anything in the world. Because I am with you."

And Seonghwa clung to the doctor's honesty whenever they went through these difficult times. Because the happiness next door was only increased tenfold when they were all four.

The sound of the door flying open followed by a weight falling on his back made Seonghwa smile as he crushed his face on the mattress. A second one was added and he laughed as he felt his sons come closer to his head, purring.

"Hello my treasures."

"Hi Eomma!"

"Appa said to come wake you up for breakfast!"

Seonghwa hummed as he turned on the mattress to hug the little pups against him and place a kiss on their tousled skulls while Hongjoong leaned on the doorframe with a stern look.

“No, I said to let Eomma sleep, little monster!”

And the children were getting off the bed when the omega grabbed his eldest to hug him and cover him with kisses.

“Happy birthday my big boy Seeun.” And although the pup grumbled slightly, he let himself sink into his Eomma’s embrace, purring even louder and rubbing against his neck.

“Thank you Eomma.”

“Me too me too!!”

Seonghwa laughed tenderly before opening his arms again so that Junmin could also snuggle up next to his brother under Hongjoong’s tender gaze.

“Can I come too?”

And the omega smiled at him lovingly before nodding. It was moments like these that Seonghwa lived for. And for nothing in the world would he have exchanged them.

*

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Seonghwa was fiddling with the buttons of his shirt between his fingers while watching Hongjoong finish the gift he had for Seeun by slipping it into an envelope. They had planned to spend the afternoon with their friends and their respective children (Yeosang wanting after so many years to introduce his mate Jongho now that he was expecting a happy event) for Seeun’s birthday and the omega had a hard time hiding his nervousness. Because today, a big step awaited their little family.

When Hongjoong had asked Seonghwa for permission, the omega had never cried so much in his life. He had cried with emotion, love but especially gratitude ; shaken to see this man who had once divorced because of his aversion to children (the alpha had not been proud when they had discussed it at the beginning of their relationship) officially request paternity of his first son. And weeks of procedures later, helped by Yunho and his lawyer mate Mingi, they were there. Hongjoong was officially the father and second legitimate parent of Park Seeun.

“I’ve never been so sure of something.” The alpha replied, smiling at the omega before moving closer to him and leaning down to kiss the scar on his neck. “Except maybe making you my mate.”

“I’m serious.” The omega’s voice was choked by his throat tight with emotion and Hongjoong sighed, grabbing his fingers after placing the envelope on the living room table. In the garden, the two boys were playing while waiting for their friends to arrive and the alpha took the opportunity to place a tender kiss on the omega's lips.

"I am too, Seonghwa. I want to be the father of your son."

"Of our son" the omega whispered, feeling tears welling up in his eyes. Hongjoong smiled at him as he took him in his arms and Seonghwa let himself melt against his mate's chest, hiding in his neck.

"Yes. Our son."

How could the omega's heart still swell with love in Hongjoong's presence? He who had never been in love before finding his mate would never have thought he could love so much. It was not only this excessive gesture of love that the alpha had just offered to Seonghwa and their family but this daily life that they lived together from now on. He who had never been a great romantic in the past could not get enough of his mate's tender looks on him, of his kisses and caresses that made their children and friends roll their eyes, of the difficult moments they went through hand in hand and of the wonderful ones where their cheeks made them suffer from smiling too much. These moments that Seonghwa would never have believed he would one day witness and of which he was now the actor.

"Thank you for being there for us."

"Always."

And if the alpha's hand lingered on Seonghwa's stomach when the doorbell rang to signal the arrival of their friends, the omega could only smile as he placed his own on it as well.

So yes, as far back as he could remember, Seonghwa had always wanted to be Eomma. But he didn't know that his dearest wish would bring him a mate as well, the person with whom he could no longer see his days without from now on. The father of his sons and his unborn baby. And who cares if they weren't over their troubles, sleepless nights and crying fits as long as they were together to get through them.

THE END