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A Guide on How To Find a Suitable Nickname

Summary:

The Wandering Circus’ guide on how to find a suitable nickname for Spades to call Bai Liu gone horribly off course.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: A Collaboration

Chapter Text

“TOP 50 CUTE PET NAMES FOR YOUR PARTNER: Want to really add flare to your budding new romance? Or rekindle the youthful passion from an earlier time? Here are the best pet names to address your partner that we’ve gathered from a multitude of sources.”

Spades read diligently, scrolling through all the 50 options as fast as he could. His eyes were going up and down so fast that it looked like they were going to fall out.

“What did he need my phone for?” Mu Sicheng asked, his expression annoyed. The lizard had just approached him with a serious glance and asked him for his phone. He did not have enough time to properly react and just handed it to him without second thought, thinking Spades would beat him up if he didn’t.

Liu Jiayi, Du Sanying, and Mu Ke shook their heads, indicating that they did not know either. Only Tang Erda responded:

“Spades wants to learn about romantic relationships,” Tang Erda explained, “he asked me what there is to being a couple. But, I don’t really have any experience so I asked Su Yang…”

Tang Erda paused as an awkward silence enveloped the room. Mu Ke’s lips pursed, Liu Jiayi stared at the floor, Du Sanying coughed, and Mu Sicheng almost choked on the air– while Spades didn't seem to notice or that he did not care and continued fiddling with Mu Sicheng’s phone.

Tang Erda’s history with Su Yang was something they all knew about. It was something that Tang Erda regretted as he continued regressing and losing his mind and seeing Su Yang and his friends die. Despite having to go through many worldlines and watch as Su Yang went with another, they were all aware that Captain Tang had probably never gotten used to it.

“Su Yang is with Ji An, so I thought he’d be the best to ask since before marriage he would’ve dated her for quite some time,” Tang Erda said.

“Or you could’ve not fucking asked–”

“What? And ask you how to properly develop a loving relationship?” Liu Jiayi scoffed at Mu Sicheng.

Mu Sicheng wanted to argue but found that he had no rebuttals… Even though he was at the age where most people his age would enter romantic relationships, he had never been in a romantic relationship before nor was there a chance in the near future while balancing both university and playing the game…

The only possible way for Mu Sicheng to have any experience in this field was if he had a secret lover that he met while playing the game, but since the people he interacted with were limited to only his own guild and some other outsiders… Yeah, he had no secret lover, hence no experience at all.

“I messaged Su Yang and he said that after their “honeymoon phase but for dating” they started using pet names and they still do that now,” Tang Erda explained, “he then sent me a link and I was going to forward it to Spades, but Spades doesn’t have a phone so he took Mu Sicheng’s.”

They all turned to look at Spades, who was absorbed on Mu Sicheng’s phone– they all wondered how weird it would be hearing Spades call Bai Liu an affectionate nickname… Then they realized how weird it would be to hear Bai Liu calling Spades something like “sweetie”.

The thought of having to witness Spades and Bai Liu acting like those trashy couples on campus, spewing all kinds of ridiculous sweet nothings and calling each other cringy nicknames sent chills down Mu Sicheng’s spine.

“Maybe instead of telling him to look at an article, why don’t we brainstorm pet names for Spades to call Bai Liu?” Liu Jiayi suggested, “this concerns our tactician so we might as well.”

And that was how four bachelors and a nine-year old girl brainstormed nicknames with their tactician’s boyfriend.

“Don’t people normally call each other “baobei” while they are dating?” Du Sanying asked, “maybe Mr.Spades can call Mr.Bai Liu “baobei”?”

(宝贝 “bǎo bèi” is a popular term to address your boyfriend or girlfriend in Chinese. It can mean baby, treasure, or darling.)

In the article, “baobei” was listed as the 3rd suggestion as well as one of the most used pet names for partners and lovers. The address was meant to be endearing and loving to whomever received it– Mu Sicheng could testify that he would hear some girls call their boyfriends “baobei” in an innocent yet flirtatious tone around campus on numerous occasions but…

Spades was far from innocent and endearing… In fact, having him say “baobei” would be no different from asking a rock to say one word and then another word to compare the two– because they would find no difference at all. In fact, the receiver might even find it disturbing...

“No, I don’t think “baobei” sounds right,” Liu Jiayi replied, “I feel like it’s too awkward.”

Although Jiayi was definitely too young to think about dating, she had watched a few romantic C-dramas that Liu Fu and Xiang Chunhua would watch on the TV. Picturing Bai Liu and Spades in place of the main couple that would call each other "baobei" lovingly after they had just gotten together following the 30 episodes of back and forth felt very out of place to her.

Du Sanying drooped his head down but also agreed… He couldn’t really imagine Mr. Spades calling Mr. Bai Liu “baobei” despite their romantic relationship.

“What about "laogong (husband)" ?” Tang Erda suggested. He had witnessed the two of them do their wedding vows surrounded by cheerful NPCs and also knew they “spent the night together” – so, “husband” wasn’t a bad option.

“Wait, why would Spades call Bai Liu “husband"? " Mu Sicheng interjected, "Shouldn’t it be “laopo (wife)” ?”

(老公 “lǎo gōng” in Chinese means husband, unmarried women sometimes refer to their boyfriends as this.
老婆 ”lǎopó” means wife, men will sometimes refer to their wives or girlfriends as this.)