Chapter Text
It was almost dinnertime when Carmen finally got home after a long shift at the hospital. She was exhausted: all she wanted was to have a quick dinner and hold her daughter until she fell asleep.
Too bad the one-year-old baby wasn't willing to let anyone in that house sleep for more than three hours at a time yet.
Sleep deprivation was definitely one of the hardest parts of raising a baby. Carmen knew this because she had been a mother before, but when she had Miguel, she was much younger and had more energy. Now, in her late thirties, having to work full-time, with Johnny also working all day to get the new dojo off the ground, and Miguel at Stanford, Carmen didn't know how she would have managed with her job and a baby without her mother's help, and especially without Robby's help.
Since Sara was born, but especially since Miguel left, Robby had helped in every way possible with the baby: he changed diapers, prepared bottles, baby food, bathed her, cradled her, took her to the pediatrician... and without ever having asked him to do anything, he was the one who always offered. Carmen had a big dilemma, since, on the one hand, she felt bad seeing Robby so attentive to Sara's needs, knowing how busy he was with his own affairs, and taking care of Sara was not his responsibility, but hers and Johnny's; but, on the other hand, Carmen knew that Robby was having a hard time feeling part of the Lawrence-Diaz family, and she did not dare to reject his help, for fear that the boy himself would feel rejected.
As she entered the house, she was greeted by the exquisite smell of roast meat. She left her jacket and bag in the hall, washed her hands in the guest bathroom, and went to the large living room with an open kitchen that the house had.
Rosa was in the kitchen, and Robby was on the couch, with Sara on his lap, entertaining her with a stuffed giraffe.
"Hello, mija," Rosa greeted. "How was your day?"
"Hi, family. Exhausting, as always." Carmen sat on the couch next to Robby and caressed her daughter's dark curls. The baby showed her a small smile on her round, rosy face, that was worth more than all the gold in the world. "How are you?"
"Very well. Although this young lady has taken a two-hour nap, so I'm afraid she's not going to sleep much tonight..." Robby warned.
Sara stretched out her little hands towards Carmen. Carmen picked her up, kissed her and smelled her little head. The baby's smell was so comforting...
"Dinner will be ready soon," Rosa announced. "Are we going to wait for Johnny?" she asked.
"No, he texted me a little while ago, and told me not to wait for him: tonight, he and Daniel have to discuss Eli's contract or something like that..." Carmen answered.
"So, they're finally going to hire Eli as an assistant?" Robby asked.
“Yes, but only part-time, at least until he finishes his studies at Caltech.”
Carmen knew that Eli had not been Johnny and Daniel's first choice to help them with the new dojo: they would have preferred to hire Robby full-time. But Robby had rejected their offer, just as he had rejected Daniel's offer to work at the dealership, as the boy had his own plans for the future.
When Robby announced to the family that he wanted to become a firefighter, Johnny and Carmen had felt both proud and worried. But they had supported him unconditionally in his decision (as had Shannon), and Johnny and Daniel had helped him together for months to get ready for the demanding physical tests to enter the Glendale Fire Academy in Los Angeles.
Of course, Robby had excelled at the physical tests, and he had also passed the psychometric test. There weren't many spots available to enter Glendale, but everyone was assuming Robby would get one. Everyone but Robby, who didn't want to get his hopes up too soon. After all the disappointments the boy had had in his life, it wasn't surprising, Carmen thought.
"Dinner is ready," Rosa announced.
"I'm going to change first," Carmen said.
"Should I put Sara in the highchair?" Robby asked.
"Yes, thank you." Carmen returned Sara to her older brother's arms.
When Carmen returned and sat down at the dining room table, Robby was already feeding Sara her dinner.
“I'll feed her, honey,” Carmen said. “I don't want your dinner to get cold.”
“Don't worry.”
Carmen sighed quietly and looked at her mother, not knowing what to do. Rosa was about to say something, but then Robby's cell phone started ringing in his pocket. The boy took it out, looked at the screen and opened his eyes wide.
“It's from Glendale,” he exclaimed.
“Glendale?” Carmen repeated, surprised. Everyone was expecting that call, but not for it to come at that hour. “Come on, take it!”
Robby handed her the spoon and Sara's porridge, stood up and picked up the phone.
“Yes? This is Robert Keene...”. As he spoke, Robby retreated a little towards the hall to have some privacy.
“Espero que sean buenas noticias”, Rosa said.
“It has to be”, Carmen murmured.
But when a few minutes later Robby returned to the living room with the mobile in his hand, he had a gloomy expression on his face.
“What happened, Robby?”, Carmen asked.
“They were from the... admissions committee”, Robby answered in a very low voice.
“And...?”
“They want to interview me again. Tomorrow.”
“Again? Why?”
“They want to talk about Sylmar.”
Carmen and Rosa exchanged a surprised look. Carmen turned to Robby again:
“I don't understand. They already interviewed you when you applied. You got the best score on the physical tests. You passed the psychometric test. What do they care now that you were in Sylmar?”
“I don't know. But I guess they don't want convicted juvenile offenders in their academy”, the boy whispered, dejected.
“You're not that”, Rosa said.
“Yes, I am... That's exactly what I am.”
“But...”
“Leave it, Rosa, please.” Robby put the phone in his pocket and ran his hands through his hair nervously. “I can't believe this is happening...”, he muttered. “I can't believe it.”
“I'm sure everything will be fine”, Carmen said.
“Yes, come to dinner, mijo.”
Robby shook his head.
“I'm sorry, I'm not hungry anymore.”
“Robby...”
The boy took his plate off the table and, without saying anything else, went up the stairs to the first floor. A few seconds later they heard a door slam.
Carmen hesitated, but finally got up.
“I'm going to talk to him.”
“¿Estás segura?” Rosa asked. “Quizá prefiere estar a solas.”
“I don't think he should be alone right now. And Johnny won't be home for a while.”
“Entonces, ves. Yo le daré la cena a Sara.”
Carmen went up to the first floor and stood in front of the closed door to Robby's bedroom (and Miguel's too when he came home). She knocked gently.
“Robby, can I come in?” No one answered. “Robby, let me in, please.”
Several seconds passed. Carmen was about to insist again, when the door opened. Carmen went into the room.
Robby paced back and forth, looking upset, running his hands through his hair over and over again, and breathing heavily.
“Robby, are you okay?” Carmen asked softly.
“No, I-I'm not okay”, the boy answered haltingly. “I'm not. They're not going to admit me...”
“You don't know that yet...”
“I should have... guessed.” Robby didn't seem to have heard her. “I knew... I knew they didn't admit anyone with a criminal record, but nobody told me anything about juvenile records. I've wasted my time...”
“Don't say that...”
“I-I don't know what I'm going to do now”, he whimpered. He looked like he was about to cry. “I really don't know...”
“Robby, don't think about the worst. You still don't know what they're going to tell you tomorrow. But if the worst happens, you still have options...”
“I don't want to work at the dojo! Or at Mr. LaRusso's dealership! I want to be a firefighter!” It was the first time since they met that Robby had raised his voice at her. That's how upset he was. The boy noticed and looked at her horrified. “I-I'm sorry, Carmen, didn’t mean to...”
“I know, honey. Don't worry.” Carmen gently caressed his forearm. “Listen, I was referring to other academies...”
A couple of tears rolled down the boy's cheeks.
“If they don't... if they don't admit me… to Glendale...” Robby was breathing so hard that he had trouble speaking. “They won't… admit me... anywhere else...”
Robby's breathing became wheezy, and Carmen immediately realized what was happening.
The boy was suffering from a panic attack.
“Hey, hey, Robby, you're hyperventilating. You have to calm down...”
Robby turned around and put his hands on the desk. He tried to take a deep breath, but the whistling sound was getting louder.
“I-I can’t…” he gasped between sobs. “I-I can’t… breathe…”
“Okay, come here.” Carmen guided Robby to sit on the bed. She sat next to him and put a hand on his back. “It’s a panic attack.” Robby looked at her, scared and confused. “Now you’re going to do exactly what I say, okay? You’re going to hold your breath for four seconds, and then exhale softly.”
“I d-don’t th…”
“Robby, listen to me,” Carmen insisted. “Trust me.”
Then Robby closed his mouth. He held his breath for two seconds and exhaled again.
“Slower. Hold your breath a little longer.”
“I-I can’t…”
“Yes, you can. Four seconds, Robby.”
Robby closed his mouth again. One, two, three, four. He exhaled and inhaled. One, two, three, four. Over and over.
Slowly, the whistling began to subside. Robby's breathing became more normal, until the whistling disappeared altogether. The boy leaned his head back slightly, closed his eyes, and sighed.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better...”
“I'm glad.”
“My hands are numb though.”
“That's normal, it'll go away soon.”
Carmen continued to caress his back.
“I'm sorry I yelled at you”, Robby murmured.
“It's okay. I understand that you are upset.”
With the back of his hand, Robby wiped the tears from his cheeks.
“I really don't know what I'm going to do if I don't get into Glendale. I put all my hopes into this. I don't have a plan B...”
They fell silent. Carmen felt terrible for Robby. It hadn't been an easy year for him. Since he had missed a school year the previous year, he had had to stay in high school for a few more months to be able to graduate, while most of his friends had left Los Angeles: Miguel to Stanford, Tory to Tampa, Sam to travel the world as a backpacker, Dimitri to MIT, Kenny to Alaska... The only member of Miyagi-Do who was still in Encino was Eli. The only positive thing about being left behind was that Robby had focused a lot on his studies and had worked very hard to graduate as soon as possible, studying every day until late at night, in addition to preparing for the physical tests at Glendale. For months, the poor boy had only left home to go to school or to train.
It wasn't fair that all that effort was going to go down the drain because of Sylmar.
Suddenly, Carmen had an idea.
"I know what we're going to do, Robby. Tomorrow I'm going to accompany you to that interview."
Robby looked at her, bewildered.