Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It hits him in the strangest of places.

In his defense, though, there's been so much going on.

Too much, in Buck's opinion.

His husband's ex is back, Christopher's schooling hit a snag, they’ve had to be extra careful at work because of the recent complaints filed, and just the holiday season in general.

He honestly does not remember the last time he was this stressed.

So, no, he doesn't quite think about the mysterious man showing up at his in-laws’ house asking about him until two weeks after it was brought up.

Until he's at the grocery store picking bananas for a banana nut bread recipe Bobby recently taught him that's been a hit with Christopher despite his son hating bananas.

He doesn't even mean to think about it. He’s just picking out the fruit when he suddenly remembers his sister standing almost on this exact spot and…

Doug.

His in-law's description of the mystery man fits Doug.

And didn’t Maddie track him down via his in-laws?

She did. He's positive she did.

What else did she say?

Goodness, he wishes his husband was here instead of in a shift he took as a favor. Buck was in way too much shock at seeing his sister to remember every single detail of their conversation.

Think, he demands himself. What else did she say?

She left Doug.

His parents don't even know about it.

…she's lying low.

Which means…

Doug probably doesn't know where she is.

Could it be? Doug? Could Doug be tracking Maddie down via Buck to get her back home one way or another?

He wouldn't even be surprised, actually, because Doug had always been a controlling, possessive bastard and not the fun, kinky kind either. He still remembers Doug calling Maddie just to know where she was and wanting her to go back to him ASAP despite the fact she was with family.

And, yes, he was jealous Maddie would go to Doug as soon as the man asked. She's his sister.

But now he also thinks he was so upset because the free spirit in him had seethed for her. Because while Doug gave her the love and made her feel wanted, he took away her freedom.

Buck's not sure if Doug ever gave it back because he's sure the man hasn't changed.

If the man knows where Maddie is, Buck is sure he'll drag her back kicking and screaming if he has to.

And while they might not be on speaking terms (that letter has not gotten anywhere, unfortunately) Buck doesn't want Maddie to leave, especially against her will after she tried so hard to leave Doug.

What to do though?

He could call her, but he doubts the number he has still works. Besides, is this really an over-the-phone conversation to have? And he's not sure if it's safe to write about it to her either because if Doug was in El Paso two weeks ago, he could be in L.A. now. If he did find Maddie and was waiting for the right time to catch her unaware and drag her back, he could intercept the letter and know he'd been busted.

Should he go over to the address she provided to him and tell her? Or the call center where he knows she works?

But his feelings have all been threatening to burst out recently including all of the hurt he feels when he thinks about his sister. It's only his inability to put all of them into words that has stopped him from formulating that letter because the emotions are all right there.

If he goes to talk to her about it in a private or semi-private setting, he's not sure if he can hold them back and hurt her. He'd much rather keep them under wraps until he can say what he needs to calmly.

So what does he do?

He's definitely not telling Chimney about it.

Huh.

Wait.

Maybe…

He can get her to come to him?

If she can come out to a public place, the chances of his feelings bursting out and doing major damage should be low right?

Right?

==================================================

In the end, the low chances of arguing or making a scene win, so he calls Chimney who then gets in contact with Maddie who is coming right now.

As in, now now.

His nerves are all over the place, reflected in the way that his basket definitely has a few things that were not on his list to get today but got anyway when he was pacing the store and looking for distractions.

His sister is coming.

He has to talk to her.

He doesn't know if he's ready for that just yet.

But he has to be, right?

Because otherwise, Doug will be here and Maddie will be gone again whether because her ex dragged her back or sweet-talked her into being together again.

And Buck just got his sister back. They were finally in the same city again, and she finally left Doug, something Buck wishes she could have done years ago.

“Evan.”

He spins around, hand clutching onto a box of crackers that definitely shouldn't be entering his home anytime soon but probably will anyway.

And, yeah, that's his sister.

“Maddie.”

And maybe it was something in his voice, but her expression shutters. “Sorry. Buck. That's what you go by now.”

“Yeah.”

“I write it enough but it hasn't really broken the habit, I'm afraid.”

He nods, not knowing what to say to that.

The silence is heavy between them, and Buck really just wants to get this over with before he says something he regrets. But he can't seem to find the words he needs despite it being a straightforward issue.

‘Doug might be in L.A.’

It should be that easy.

But is it?

It’s his sister that breaks the silence first. “Does this…does this mean you want to talk again?”

“I…There's just something I need to tell you.”

She's immediately concerned, and the boy in him perks up seeing his sister's concern over him after so long. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah. It's not about me.”

“Okay. Then…”

“It's only a guess. But I think - think- Doug might be in L.A.”

Maddie goes rigid. “W-what do you mean? He shouldn't know I'm here.”

“You said you used my last known address to find me. That you went to El Paso. And two weeks ago, my in-laws said someone came by asking about me. Someone that I don't think I know. Not by that name at least. The features though…”

He watches as her face drains of blood and takes a shuttering breath. “Thanks. I…thanks for letting me know.”

“It's fine.”

He makes a move to leave - dropping the crackers into his cart and putting his hands on his cart - when she blurts out, “Does this mean you forgive me?”

Buck stills, watching her worried but hopeful face.

Hopeful that this means their relationship is on the mend.

But does he forgive Maddie? Has he? Will he?

Does giving her a warning mean anything?

“I don’t know,” he admits. “I…I don't want to see you being dragged back or persuaded back just because your ex can't get over the fact you left him and when I know you don't want to. I'd tell anyone in your situation.”

Maddie frowns, wringing her hands in front of her. “Okay. But Buck, I…I want you to know I’ll stay this time. I promise. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there.”

“I don’t know if I can trust that,” he tells her before he can stop it, the first drops of water overtopping and leaking through the dam he built to keep all his emotions over his sister at bay.

She looks away, hurt, and Buck regrets it. Regrets making the sister who had all but raised him upset.

At least the boy she raised regrets it.

He's not quite sure about the soldier she abandoned.

“Then what can I do to make it right?” she asks.

And somehow that…That breaks the dam that was already cracking.

Because make it right? How?

”Nothing. Because you know what? You want to leave the house and pursue your education? Fine. You don’t want to leave with me? Fine. You don’t reply to my postcards or anything? Fine. But you know what wasn’t?”

Maddie's eyes are shut closed, and the part that will always love his sister hates doing this to her. But he’s more than that now, and the soldier in him, the one that felt betrayed by what is supposed to be his staunchest supporter, doesn’t care.

So he forges on, uncaring about the very public place where this is taking place in. “Me waking up in a foreign hospital after spending weeks in hell and fighting for my life, being told my team is dead, and that my sister wasn’t coming to see me. No message, no letter. Just that you couldn’t bother coming.”

”I didn’t-“

”My fiancé came, Maddie. He had no reason to come other than his own feelings. He left his son to his not-very-great parents to see me when he could have just dumped me. I wouldn’t have blamed him either. But he didn’t. He came. He stayed. But…”

”I didn’t,” she finishes for him.

”Yeah. I guess you just realized how exhausting having your little brother underfoot was.”

“That’s not-“

’’So, I’m sorry, but I don’t know what to say to you right now.”

And before she can say anything else, Buck flees, completely forgetting his cart in the process.

Banana nut bread will just have to wait til another day.

Chapter Text

Whenever he comes home alone, Eddie is always expecting some kind of greeting whether that’s the clacking of crutches, a happy ‘Babe!’ or ‘Daddy!’, a kiss, the smell of a meal, etc.

So when he’s met by nothing when he steps through the door, he’s unnerved.

It’s been a long time since he’s been greeted with silence.

He finds one reason soon enough, walking into the living room and spotting Christopher bent over a workbook Carla had recommended when it became clear the kid was outdoing his given school and homework. It’s been a little miracle worker, too, because, while Chris had complained like any other kid given extra work, it had immediately seemed to interest him.

Goodness, they really need to get him into a better school.

“I’m back,” he says in a lower tone than normal so as not to spook his son.

The seven-year-old’s head shoots up, a bright smile overtaking his face. “Daddy!”

Glad to have showered at the station, Eddie drops his bag and gets down to pull his son into a hug, planting a kiss on unruly hair. “How was school?”

”Great! We have a science project!”

”I’m assuming your Papa is already helping you on it?”

Christopher nods, excitement clear on his face. “It’s going to be so cool!”

He chuckles. “You two can tell me all about it after dinner. Do you know what’s on the menu?”

”No,” Chris pouts. “Papa wouldn’t say.”

That’s concerning. He had guessed that his beloved was nowhere to be seen or heard because he was either concentrating on prepping dinner or had stepped into the bathroom.

But to not let Christopher know what’s for dinner?

That’s unusual.

Heck, half the time, Christopher is the one who determines the menu.

So what happened?

He needs to investigate, so he coaxes Christopher to go into his room and play while he goes to find his partner.

And it was the right decision because he finds his soulmate staring at a pile of groceries on the counter, face blank like his mind is a million miles away.

Eddie remembers that look well. Too well.

“Cariño?” he calls.

His beloved turns around, all sad eyes but trying to put on a brave face nonetheless. “Hey.”

Eddie's concern skyrockets leading him to crowd into his soulmate's space and hug him, leaving his shoulder open for his other half to use which he does promptly. “What happened?”

“Maddie.”

He doesn't say anything to that answer, instead cradling his love's head and waiting for an elaboration.

“She…I think it was Doug. The man that your parents told you about. So I…I figured I'd tell her you know? And I did. I got Chimney to call her out and she met me at the store, and I told her.”

“But things got out of hand?” he guesses, feeling a prompt is needed when his husband peters off.

“Yeah. I…I didn't make that big of a scene. I think. But I sorta spewed all my feelings out? And it hurt her. It was so obvious. But she still.” His partner waves a hand in the general direction of the groceries. “I panicked and forgot the groceries. But she bought them and had Chimney deliver them here. With this.”

A piece of paper is carefully placed into his hands. On it reads, ‘I love you, Buck. No matter what, you'll always be my little brother. Love, Maddie.’

“Cariño…”

“Maybe that's why it's so hard to forgive her.”

And well, what can Eddie say to that?

Chapter Text

“Would you let Denny see his biological mom?”

Hen startles from her book, looking up at Eddie bent over the back of the couch to look at her.

“What?” she asks, not sure if she is hearing correctly.

“Denny. You've mentioned your ex is his biological mother. So, if your ex wants to see him, would you let her?”

“Hell no,” she tells him with utmost conviction.

“Okay,” he says, making a move to leave.

And there's no way she can let him go because he wouldn’t ask that if something's not up. “Woah, woah, woah. You can't just leave after that. What brought this up?”

Eddie's eyes flicker over to the kitchen, where Buck and Bobby are having one of their mini cooking lessons, both of them bent over a recipe book Bobby has brought out. Then, reluctantly, he rounds the couch and sits down next to her.

“Christopher's biological mom wants to see him.”

“And you're reluctant?”

He nods. “It’s just…there are some pros but there are also some major potential cons.”

“Alright. Does she do drugs or smoke or have questionable behavior?”

He looks at her like she grew a second head. “What? No. I don't think so.”

“So you can't compare your situation with mine.”

“But-”

“No. I think you're trying to use my answer to get out of choosing or to justify saying no to her. But, Eddie, the situation with Ava - Denny’s biological mom - is pretty straightforward. She's not a great person. There's a reason why she's in jail.”

Understanding dawns on him and she nods. “So unless that's your case, you can't say no without justification.”

The man sighs, looking over at his husband who must feel the gaze and returns it. Hen watches as a conversation passes between the Duo despite not knowing what's being conveyed. Then, Buck gives Eddie a reassuring smile and turns back to his lesson with Bobby.

She waits, knowing that Eddie might want to talk considering he's still sitting next to her, and finally hears a quiet, “I just want to keep us together,”

“Is someone saying you might not be able to?” she asks because it's the only thing she can think about.

The veteran shrugs. “She says she's not here for custody. But how do I trust that?”

“Why do you not trust that?”

The resulting expression she gets from him can only be described as parsing. He's looking for something, and she does her best to show him it's okay to talk to her as a friend without worrying about the more nosey and gossipy parts of her.

And she must have succeeded because he leans back into the couch and says, “I know I've mentioned her before.”

“You did,” she confirms, mentally pulling up the very short list of personal things she knows about Eddie. “You two realized you didn't love each other but got married because it was expected right? And you enlisted to escape?”

“Yeah. I figured enlisting would get me out of there and provide the money and insurance we needed. So I left. And then she did. In the middle of the night. All she left was a note and divorce papers.”

Hen grimaces. “That's it?”

“Yeah. I tried calling. Tried getting in touch. Her reply was to sign over all custody and give me a letter listing all her grievances.”

Ow, that's rough.

Eddie runs a hand over his face “Dios, it was such a mess after that, Hen. And I know I fell short, Hen. I do. But I tried. I tried to do better. She just…left and now she's here? I can't trust her to not fight for custody.”

“Did you talk to your lawyer? If she signed over her rights…”

“We did. But my husband thinks she had PPD. If she did and the papers work out, she could have a chance.”

“But that's still a big what-if.”

Eddie nods.

“Have you talked to her about it?”

“Kind of. We can't really talk without it ending in an argument.”

“And what does Buck think about it?”

“Still stuck between the pros and cons.”

“If possibly losing custody is a con, what are the pros?”

“Chris has another person to love him. She can be there if anything happens to us. And having a mother figure would be good for him, I guess.”

“Any other cons?”

“She could leave again after Christopher gets attached.”

Hen looks at the man, watching as he starts to withdraw once again, the side of him willing to talk less obvious without his husband's prompting.

And as she stares at him, she thinks there's more than what he's letting on.

Because he was hurt too.

Who wouldn't be? Whether he loved her or not, she walked out on him and their son. She didn't even give a verbal explanation. She gave him a list of grievances.

It makes her think. If Ava wanted to see Denny, it would be an absolute no if Hen had any say in it. But if the situation had been different? If Ava had left to better herself or get the help she needed but never said anything only to come back years later wanting to see Denny?

She thinks she would be reluctant to say yes too.

But as a friend and an outsider to the situation, she knows she has to take a more logical approach.

“I think the pros outweigh the cons-” she admits. “-especially since they're possible cons. Talking to her properly wouldn't hurt though. If not you, then Buck can talk to her. Or do they not know each other?”

“They do.”

“And do they get along?”

It wouldn’t be surprising if a current partner and an ex didn’t get along even if it is Buck, the happy, friendly golden retriever personified he is.

“Have you met my partner?” Eddie asks, looking at her like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “The only person he doesn’t get along with is Taylor Kelly.”

“I’m just asking Eddie. Now answer the question.”

”Yes. Sorta. It’s hard to explain.”

”Then get him to talk to Shannon.”

Eddie’s face contorts, not really liking the solution for some reason. “It’s the mess I made. He…he already got involved in the mess she left behind.”

”He signed up for your mess the moment he signed up to be your husband.”

Like she summoned him from his title alone, Buck appears, draping his arms over Eddie’s shoulders and pressing a quick kiss onto his cheek. “What about me?”

”How do you feel about talking to your husband’s ex?” Hen asks before Eddie can get a word in.

The blonde frowns, tilting his head until it’s pressed against Eddie’s. “I’m fine with that. Why? Do you think it’ll solve our issue?”

”It can’t hurt your issue. What’s the worst that could happen? She demands custody then and there? I don’t think so. Besides-“ she says, pointing at Buck and giving the hardest, most judgemental stare she can. “-it can’t be harder than talking to a woman pointing at you with a gun forty feet in midair.”

Buck grins sheepishly, a grimace on his face. “It was fine.”

”Was it?”

This boy is going to give her a heart attack one day. Like, it’s great he wanted the woman safe, but to not retreat when a gun is pointed at him and trying to talk her down?

She’s having heart palpitations just thinking about it.

“You were 40 feet in the air, cariño,” Eddie says and she mentally cheers at the backup.

Though, now that they’re bringing up Buck’s tendency to do dangerous things on the job, maybe she should talk to him about it because that was not the first time she worried for his safety because of something he did.

And she can’t imagine Eddie being okay with it.

Buck gapes at his husband. “I had plans!”

They hum, Hen skeptical and Eddie accepting.

Wait.

Hen looks at Eddie, questioning, but all he does is shrug.

“I think I’ve had worse odds,” Buck muses.

She focuses her gaze on the blonde.

Worse odds?

Against a gun forty feet in the air?

Before she can say anything about it, though, the bell rings, and all she can say is “Talk to her about it” before they’re off.

Chapter Text

Bittersweet.

That’s the only word Bobby can think of about their latest call.

Bitter, because they couldn’t save two people today.

Sweet, because it was a moment of true love and a testament to how deep love can get, intertwining two people’s hearts and souls irrevocably. Of a reminder and proof that there is love so true and deep in this world that one would follow right after the other to not have to live without them.

Silently, in the back of his own mind where no one can even get a glimpse of, he wonders how many people died after that night in Minnesota when they learned their loved ones died,

How many halves did that fire take that night? How many wholes?

A clattering in the kitchen snaps him out of his thoughts, and he turns towards the noise, ignoring the paperwork on the table in front of him, to find Buck sheepishly looking at him.

“Sorry. I didn’t want to disturb you, but my hand kinda slipped.”

“I thought you were heading to the bunks,” Bobby says, hoping to coax out whatever it was going on in Buck’s head.

Because his hand slipping? Bobby hasn’t seen the kid’s hand slip.

Ever.

Even on the longest, most gruesome shifts, Buck doesn’t let things slip, and Bobby just figured it was the SEAL experience and probably the parenting as well.

“I, uh, couldn’t really sleep, I guess. Thought I’d get some water.”

“Here, sit down,” Bobby suggests, pulling the chair next to him out and patting it. “And I’ll make you some hot chocolate.”

“Hot chocolate?”

“Yeah. One of my recipes.”

One that Brook loved and begged for constantly, especially in the winter.

”I’m fine,” Buck says though Bobby has enough experience to know that response is a little more on the automatic side, a fact proven when, after a beat, Buck adds, “Though I won’t say no to a recipe of yours.”

Bobby smiles, getting up and gesturing at the chair again. Buck complies willingly, letting Bobby have full control of the kitchen as he grabs everything he needs, stealing glances at the blonde whenever he gets the chance in case the kid wants to talk.

He doesn’t seem to want to, though, based on the faraway look in his eyes, so Bobby doesn’t push, instead making the hot chocolate with rusty yet practiced ease.

Before he knows it, he’s setting a cup of steaming hot chocolate down in front of the younger man, startling him.

(Or at least Bobby thinks he startled him. There wasn’t much of a jump involved; it was just a quick refocusing. Must be the SEAL training.)

”Thanks, Bobby.”

”No problem, kid. Can I get you anything else?”

“I’m good.”

Bobby waits for a beat before sitting back down and getting back to his paperwork. It’s nothing confidential - hence doing it in the loft - and he gets the feeling that the kid could use the company.

They sit in silence, with Bobby’s computer the only thing emanating a sound as he types up the day’s report. Every once in a while, Bobby sneaks a glance over, watching as his silent companion sips on his drink, still in his thoughts.

Then, out of nowhere, Buck says, “We’ve been going about it all wrong.”

Bobby stops what he’s doing, turning to the kid, waiting for an elaboration.

“There’s just been so much going on, and we’ve just been trying to stay afloat. But that’s not the way to go.”

“It’s not unusual during this time of year to try and not be overwhelmed,” Bobby tells him, thinking about how busy the holiday season gets, especially with children in the equation. Presents, dinners, school parties, etc.

And that’s without whatever else the Duo is dealing with, which, based on what he knows, includes getting Christopher into a new school, an estranged sister, and something about Eddie’s ex.

Not a good combination.

“But we’re being really passive about everything. We’ve been waiting for a solution. We’re looking for one. But like Thomas said, ‘You don’t find it, son. You make it.’ And it’s true Bobby. Even with Eddie-”

And with that, Bobby knows there's a lot on the kid's mind because he can probably count on one hand the times Buck has called his husband by his name. Even on the job, they don't usually have to because a single gesture between them gets a whole message across.

“-it wasn't ‘I found my soulmate’. It wasn't love at first sight. And Sophia - that’s Eddie’s sister if you forgot - was right. Eddie didn’t realize he could be anything other than straight. He was avoiding the fact that he wasn't straight like the plague. What we have today…we made it. So maybe the solutions we’re waiting and looking for aren’t something we can find. Maybe we have to pull a Lola and do something about it ourselves.”

“Lola?”

“The lady from the freeway sign.”

“Please don’t tell me whatever revelation you had involves copying what she did.”

Buck snorts. “No. I’m not. But um…” The kid grimaces, and Bobby braces himself for whatever is coming. “You asked me what I said, and I told you I told her everything would be fine. I didn’t. I told her about Maddie.”

“You talked to her about your sister when she was talking about her husband?” Bobby asks, incredulous.

“I know, I know. You’re not supposed to make stuff up in that kind of situation. But I didn’t lie. It just…it spoke to me in some way. How the person you expect to never treat you like you’re invisible suddenly did. Because…”

The kid sighs sadly, and Bobby’s heart wrenches for him, any thought about reprimanding him gone in an instant.

“She basically raised me, you know? My parents…they were always absent. Maddie was the one to tuck me in, the one to patch me up when I got hurt, the one who would sit with me to go over my homework… All of the things you’d expect a parent to do, she did. And then she left for nursing school. But she still kept in touch you know? I would still see her every once in a while. We called. Then when I went into training, I sent her letters and postcards from the places I went to when I was on break. She sometimes replied. When I first got overseas, she even sent me a care package once. You know the coffee Eddie loves so much? That was her. She sent that to me first. Then…silence. I still sent her things, not believing that she would just ignore me, but then I… I woke up in a foreign place with my world completely sideways and got told she wanted no more contact.”

Bobby places a hand on Buck’s arm. “Kid…”

“It hurt more than anything because I always thought I’d have her in my corner if no one else. But no. Even having my fiance there didn’t stop the pain. So I understood Lola to a degree.”

The kid takes a sip of hot chocolate. “The difference was that she did something about it. I never did. I always waited. I waited for her to visit. I waited for her calls. I waited for her reply. Even though she’s been trying to repair things, I was waiting for the right words to write to her. I'm just thinking that maybe it's time I do something. That I make the solution I’ve been waiting for. Because Maddie’s surely trying. Even when I all but yelled in her face and hurt her at the store, she still tried to do something.”

Bobby hums, concurring. “So what are you thinking?”

”I need paper and a pen.”

Chapter Text

“You know, it makes shopping a little hard with your hand in my back pocket.”

At the comment, Eddie turns his attention towards his husband, tearing his eyes away from the very colorful wall they're standing in front of to the beautiful face he gets to kiss every day.

“Then people need to stop looking at you like a snack. Besides, you like it,” he tells his partner, giving a tiny squeeze for emphasis.

Generally speaking, they're not so blatant with the PDA in public, especially since they have to be used to it so they don't slip up at work. But his soulmate’s energy is infectious, especially when he's all relaxed and joyous.

Like today.

It's not uncommon for his other half to be happy, of course. His love is usually the more outwardly bubbly and happy kind of person between the two of them, exuding an energy that reminds people - like their coworkers - of a golden retriever. But with the stress of the holiday season and life in general, it's been a while since his husband has been this relaxed outside of their home where they can just lay in bed or on the couch with nothing to worry about.

His love is relaxed though. He's sure of it. It's like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, and there's no way on earth Eddie would mistake that look for anything.

And it's infectious, so Eddie has his guard down a bit, allowing himself to be a little handsy and possessive over his love.

Especially because there are way too many eyes on his partner.

“They could be looking at you. Or they're probably just curious why two grown men are in a craft store. Because I sure haven't seen another pair like us in here since we've been here.”

Eddie has to give his husband that one. It does seem they are the oddities here. “I guess that’s what I get for agreeing to this.”

”You love the idea.”

”I do,” he concurs, grabbing another sheet of paper from its rack. “I think it’ll be a great way to get Christopher’s creativity flowing and to get him involved in something at home that’s not video games.”

And it’s a very heart-warming idea he is surprisingly excited about despite the sad situation it came from, not that he needs to say that considering the look he’s being given.

(Look, he’s made a lot of progress with himself, but he is just not the person to show his excitement out where everyone can see him. He will leave that to his soulmate.)

“Do you think the colorful one is too much?” his husband asks instead of calling him out on it in public.

”Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” he suggests because he doesn’t even know how to handle the plain paper much less the colorful ones, and his love can’t be much better considering the…poor history they have with anything crafty.

Maybe they should have done some research online before coming here to pick out scrapbooking supplies, but he had seen his other half so excited about it when he had gotten out from the bunks this morning that he couldn’t help but agree.

“Okay. Then let’s do stickers next because those are on sale too.”

Eddie finally slips his hand out of his husband’s back pocket, watching as his partner happily approaches the sticker section displaying a large 40% sign.

It’s nice, just watching his beloved enjoying himself for himself. His husband's heart of gold rarely ever extends to himself, naturally helping others even to his own detriment, and for the past few years, it's mainly for their family.

Eddie can't even remember the last time his love pursued a hobby solely for his enjoyment.

Sure, they do stuff. But hiking and rock climbing first started out as a way for his love to get back into shape, and visiting museums and the zoo really became a norm because of Christoper.

He can't even count their garden in their backyard or cooking because those stemmed from wanting them to eat healthier and maybe cut down grocery costs!

But this? This was all his soulmate's idea because he wanted to make a scrapbook of their family. It wasn't influenced by their son or the need to be better. He just wanted to.

“What?” his partner asks when he turns around, several packs of stickers in hand. On top, Eddie spies a nice-looking ‘Family’ one so large that no one would ever question the relation between the people in the picture it's associated with.

And he has a vague idea of what pictures could go with it.

He should show his parents just to prove a point.

”I like seeing you excited. I don't know if I've ever seen you like this,” he admits, putting the thoughts about his parents aside. It's an ongoing battle there, and he's not letting them take away from this moment.

His husband frowns, confused. ”Well, I was pretty excited about Christopher’s science project-“

”For yourself, cariño.” He takes the stickers out of his love's hand, putting them in the basket, and wrapping his arms around his partner, the public space be damned. Like second nature (which it probably is), his beloved returns the gesture. “When was the last time you started a hobby because you wanted to?”

“I do enjoy cooking.”

“But you started to cook because of us.”

A look of understanding passes over those beautiful features. “Maybe it did start because of this family, but I enjoy it anyway, babe. And I love taking care of and providing for this family. Nothing will change that.”

“I just want you to enjoy something you want. You've given so much to this family.”

“And I will continue to do so because I Iove you and Christopher.” His husband gives him a quick kiss. “Besides, I thought about doing this because of this family anyway.’

“But-”

“But nothing,” his partner says and untangles them. “Now, will you stop fretting about me and help me pick out a few more things instead?”

Eddie wants to protest. He's not fretting. He's not. He just thinks that his love deserves to do something he enjoys after giving their family so much.

A poke on his cheek with a sticker pack snaps him out of his thoughts. “Hey. Stop thinking about it too much.”

“Am not,” he protests, swatting aside the sticker pack and-

Huh. This one says ‘Sister’.

And considering they haven't talked about adopting or surrogacy in a while, that could only mean…

“I wrote her a letter,” his love tells him, giving the sticker a contemplative look.

Oh. That's why his husband looks like a weight got lifted off him.

“I'm proud of you, cariño.”

He really is. He knows the rift between the two really tore at his soulmate who loves his sister but couldn't get over everything that's happened. It was something that Eddie knew he couldn't help with, so he's glad his partner took a comfortable step towards hopefully mending that relationship.

His other half shrugs. “I just figured it was time to do something rather than just sitting around waiting for an answer. Take the fate of it into my own hands and all. But maybe I should save the sticker for later?”

“Use it as a motivator,” Eddie suggests even as his thoughts focus on what his other half just said.

Take the fate of it into my own hands.

It makes him think about the Shannon situation they're having. Should he do that as well? Take the fate of his family into his own hands?

Because if he's being honest with himself, there are benefits to having Shannon back in their lives. Just having a backup plan for Christopher should anything happen to him or his husband is a major thing to consider because he doesn't want their son to fall under either of their parents’ care. And he's not going to task Adriana or Sophia with that task considering their own lives, and his beloved's situation with Maddie isn't at a point where they can consider her. They did consider asking Hen, who has a son of her own, but neither of them felt like they were that close to her to ask her to take that responsibility, and what if something happened to her too? Pepa would do it, but Eddie feels bad for putting that on her because her work schedule is already packed enough.

So Shannon would be their best option.

They would have to talk to her to make sure she won't take Christopher from them though.

He could do it, he guesses, but after he married Shannon, there were very little amount of conversations they had that did not end up with them both angry, upset, tense, and/or mad at each other. And with how she left and the fallout of that, Eddie doesn't think he has it in him to not be mad at her even before she opens his mouth.

As he looks at his partner resuming his sticker browsing though, Hen’s advice rings in his ears.

Then get him to talk to Shannon.

His love is willing. Even without Hen asking him, Eddie had known.

Because what would his husband not do for them?

He was willing to risk everything for them and almost ended up giving everything for them.

And maybe that's why Eddie has been hesitant to make a decision about the next step forward.

The mess he and Shannon had made of everything was the reason his partner had almost lost his life, and he will forever carry that guilt regardless of how willing his then-boyfriend was.

He can't let it happen again. Sure, their situation is better now. They're back stateside. Their finances are stable enough that they wouldn't have to consider reenlisting even if they weren't discharged.

But what if?

What if something bad happens to his husband because of his mess?

What if Eddie loses him?

(What if this becomes a big mess and drives his other half off?)

Eddie was too much and yet not enough back then, making messes and not being able to clean them up himself, leaving his love to pick up after him time and time again.

He doesn't want his beloved to get involved in his mess at the risk of himself anymore.

He's stronger now. He can provide better.

But…

What is enough for one person isn’t the same for another.

He signed up for your mess the moment he signed up to be your husband.

And I will continue to do so because I Iove you and Christopher

…maybe he doesn't have to be strong by himself.

Maybe together, they'll get out of this even better.

Maybe it's time he's proactive about something too.

“How do you feel about talking to Shannon?” he asks when his husband turns around again to add a few times to their cart.

Bright blue eyes meet his and an understanding smile slides into place. “Thought you'd never ask.”

Chapter Text

The night was looking up even before Maddie showed up at his place.

Honestly, any day is a good day if work went well and he gets to spend some part of the day with Maddie.

It's Maddie!

She's fun to hang out with. She's brilliant and smart and funny and just amazing in general.

He's just never felt so…himself around someone so soon into knowing them.

Sure, he loves Hen. She's his best friend. But there's just something about Maddie that's wholly different from his partner.

He swears it's something in the genes. Something about the Buckley genes just let the siblings bring out the best in people.

Because Buck is like that too. The other side of Eddie that comes out around Buck aside, their probie has gotten Bobby to open up to them far more than they've ever had. Sure, Bobby never treated them poorly, especially compared to the likes of Gerrard, but Bobby had always held them at arm's length, treating them as a crew rather than a family.

And now?

Geez. They're feeling the difference for sure.

Especially in their stomachs.

Ah, he can still taste the amazing lunch consisting of an amazing baked casserole, a zucchini dish he has no name for, and some melt-in-your-mouth rolls.

Don't get him wrong. Bobby had always cooked well for them, but something about his cooking now speaks to how they've become family.

(Or just how much he likes Buck and is willing to teach the blonde different recipes.)

Though speaking of eating…

“Hey Maddie!” he greets when he opens the door to let his friend in. “You're just on time. The delivery just got dropped off two minutes ago.”

They usually don't order their Buffriday spread until Maddie gets here, but she had texted him her order earlier saying she would be a little late.

Not that her thirty-minute delay would make this day worse in any way, of course, especially because Chimney knows she's going to be so happy about the hot mustard he made her and that expression is going to make anything worth it.

“Great,” she says, beaming, looking exceptionally happy and relaxed.

“Missed this handsome face?” he teases wondering what could have made her like that. Sure, she's usually pretty happy when they hang out, but he knows she had a shift today at the call center. She usually doesn't get like this until she at least starts rummaging through the bags of food he has on the counter.

“We saw each other two days ago.”

“Two days too many!”

She laughs, a sound that Chimney enjoys hearing as much as the oven timer going off if not more. Today, it sounds especially light.

Huh.

And he thinks he knows why when, five minutes into eating dinner, Maddie hasn't asked about a certain brother of hers despite the fact it's usually one of the first things she'll ask about.

(He’d feel used about it if it wasn't for the fact their friendship has definitely evolved beyond the questions and concern Maddie has for Buck.)

“So, did something happen with Buck?” he tries despite knowing that the chances of her saying anything about the whole situation are little to none.

And, yes, he's tried. Sue him. He's been curious about this situation from the start!

But he's come to find that Maddie is a fantastic secret keeper, unlike himself.

So, it surprises him when she pauses in her eating and grins, telling him, “I got a letter from him.”

Chimney gapes because, holy crap, that's the biggest development this whole situation has had! It's even bigger than the whole I-bought-his-groceries-but-can-you-give-them-to-him thing!

But a letter? Seriously?

“He couldn't text?” he can't help but ask, internally grimacing even as it bursts forth.

“I'm just glad he's talking to me I never…I never thought he'd forgive me for what I did.”

He braces himself, hopeful for some big revelation about what happened between the siblings, but all Maddie does is shake her head, giving a sad sigh.

And that won't do.

So he pushes his urge to know more aside, changing the subject. “Hey, what should we watch after this?”

Chapter Text

Buck really does not mean to give Shannon the run-around.

He respects his husband's decision to potentially let her back into their lives, and he wants to talk to her to avoid the inevitable blowout that his beloved and his ex would get into otherwise.

But the scheduling part of it doesn't go as smoothly as he hoped it would be.

They had a meeting with the Durand board to discuss their reporting of the admission council’s bias towards them, work, Abuela's pre-Christmas party, more work, and more work on top of that.

They haven't even had the time to bring their son to visit Santa with everything going on!

So he's not surprised when, a week after he texted Shannon that they could talk about her meeting Christopher, she shows up at the station.

In the middle of the toy drive.

“Shannon,” his partner practically hisses, and Buck's immediately on alert knowing that they shouldn't make a scene during a public event.

They did not need to be reported again.

“Hey Shannon,” Buck says, cutting in between any possibility of his love and the woman before them starting any kind of argument.

Look, he understands his soulmate's feelings about her. Her very sudden departure had a lot more consequences than leaving two men barely of age to drink taking care of a special-needs toddler.

But they made it through, and Buck doesn't want to look back and blame anyone.

Because maybe they were all to blame.

Unfortunately, his husband still holds that grudge.

It just can't unravel here.

“Buck,” she says, voice clipped. “I was hoping to get a confirmed date from you soon.”

“I know. And I'm sorry. But how about we take this elsewhere?” he asks, eyes searching for his captain until he catches Bobby's eyes and pleading through sheer will that the older man will understand if he steps aside for a bit.

Fortunately, Bobby does so he shoots his love a reassuring smile before leading Shannon up into the loft.

“Is Eddie making this whole thing more difficult than it needs to be?” she asks as soon as they step out of anyone’s hearing range.

Buck feels his hackles rise for his husband, but he soothes them out before he says, “No. He’s not. He gave us the green light to talk. But I haven't found the time, Shannon.”

“Then let's talk now.”

He wants to sigh. He's at work. But they're only 12 into a 24, and then they'll go home and crash until they have to get up to get Christopher to therapy and do groceries for themselves and Abuela. After that, he has his monthly appointment with Dr.Copeland. Then he has to prepare dinner and the goodie bags for the party Christopher's class is having.

So if he wants to talk to Shannon, the best time might be now.

“We're not opposed to letting you see him,” he sighs.

“Great,” she immediately says, her eyes lighting up with hope. “I can send you my schedule and-”

“Shannon.”

The woman clams up, and Buck feels bad when she visibly goes back on the defensive.

“We want to talk to you about what you want from this.”

“I just want to see him.”

And Buck can tell she's honest. It's the way she holds herself and the earnest, desperate look on her face.

“You won't try to take Christopher?” he asks just to be sure though because he can't fathom losing his son.

“Of course not. I…I gave up those rights. I never thought about getting them back.”

But you can, he thinks but doesn't say aloud, the selfish part of him not wanting to give her ideas.

Because, honestly, he wouldn't blame her for trying. He knows she loves Christopher. He knew that the first day he met her. She tried so hard for her son. She tried everything that she was able to in the situation she was in. She wanted the best for Christopher.

The only thing she did that wasn't the best for her son was leave. At least that's what Buck thinks, and, at first, he was shocked she would do that. He was angry at her for abandoning a husband who tried his best and a son who needed her.

But things changed. Now, he has a degree of understanding of her situation.

Because, at one point, hadn't he wanted to do the same?

Hadn't he felt like a failure? Helpless? Of not being enough for the people he loves?

Hadn't he wanted to leave for his loved ones’ sake?

But he had his partner in his corner regardless of whether he wanted it or not. Shannon didn't.

The lack of support she was getting from her in-laws and husband, possible post-partum depression, a special needs child… In that situation, who can be sure how her mental state was?

So maybe it wasn't a surprise that she did what she did.

One thing is for sure though: he doubts leaving them changed this mother's love for her son.

Buck's love for his son wouldn't have changed in her shoes. And, given the chance, he would love to see him again.

And if there's a chance to have him back? Buck would take it.

So who's to say Shannon wouldn't?

“I'll do anything to prove I'm not trying to take Christopher from you two,” Shannon tells him, bringing him back to the present.

But watching her now, so determined to do anything just to see Christopher again and spend some time with him, Buck truly believes that what she's saying is true.

She's not here to take Chris from them. If anything, she wants to be a part of their family.

“Alright, alright,” he acquiesces, throwing his hands up in surrender. “Let me see what a good time is okay? There's been a lot going on. Christmas, the school transfer, Christopher starting his surfing lessons-”

“Surfing lessons?”

“Completely approved,” he tells her. “It turns out he loves the water. Can't get enough of the beach. So when the idea came up, we had to ask.”

Shannon smiles, a wistful, little thing. “How has he been?”

Buck grins, his love for his son and love for talking about his son erasing the remains of his weariness for the woman before him.

After all, they always got along when it came to Christopher.

“Great. He has a bunch of friends. His therapy has been going great. His grades are amazing. We're actually trying to get him into a new school, but we're having some trouble there.”

“How come?”

“They wanted to see you. Because certain members of their council are homophobic assholes. We've reported them, but it's still an ongoing case. And they're not very willing to let Christopher transfer over until it's ‘thoroughly investigated’,” he says with an eye roll and air quotes. “So we're trying to speed it up.”

“How about I go?” she suggests, forging on before Buck can protest. “I know you shouldn't give into them, but if it's a better school for Christopher…”

And he doesn't even have to think about it. Sure, she's right about not giving in to their request, but, at this rate, they wouldn't be able to get Christopher in until next school year. That means his son will be stuck at a school that doesn't challenge him, and he's loathe to do that when there's a chance for the seven-year-old to get a better education now.

He wants that for Christopher more than he wants to fight against homophobes.

So he nods. “Thanks. I'll let them know you're coming then.”

“There's no need to thank me. I'm his mother. It's the least I can do when I've missed the last five, six years of his life. I should thank you though.”

“What for?”

“For being there when I couldn't.”

Buck looks over her shoulder where a familiar head of brown hair pokes out just enough over the stair landing for him to see.

“There's no need to thank me either. It's been the greatest honor of my life and there's nothing I would change about it.”

Chapter Text

Eddie is enjoying himself.

It's a nice night. The moon is out, the air is crisp, and the temperature is just right.

Most importantly, it's a family night out and, for once, there doesn't seem to be anything pressing to do so they can just enjoy.

“You're going to fall asleep,” he murmurs into the hair of his husband leaning against him.

“Will not,” he protests even as he yawns. “How could I miss Christopher seeing Santa?”

“I told you to leave Abuela’s garden to me.”

“And have you rip out all her flowers but leave the weeds? No thanks.”

Eddie snorts. He really shouldn't have told his beloved that story because he will never stop being teased about it.

(Not that he doesn't love the fun and playful teasing from his love.)

“And you fixed her sink,” his partner adds, moving so that he's nudging the underside of Eddie's jaw with his nose. “You're so handy.”

“Says the one who built her coffee table.”

“I'm just good at following instructions. You didn't need any when building her shelf.”

Rolling his eyes, Eddie gives in else they go on a never-ending cycle of complimenting each other.

They know who's better at what anyway. Eddie’s better at the handy things. Fixing a broken pipe, building things, replacing a faucet. It's not like his husband doesn't know how to or can't, especially since he can learn pretty quickly, but his forte lies in cooking and things around the household.

It's fair and unfair at the same time because Eddie wants to pull his weight on a daily basis, but, by the time he has one chore done, his partner’s already done two or three!

So what if the situation was reversed when they did house repairs when they first moved here?

It shouldn’t count!

“How about you let me go set up Abuela's party?” he suggests. “You stay home and rest. Work on that scrapbook page you've been wanting to work on or something.”

Unsurprisingly, his soulmate whines, “I can help.”

“I'm not saying you can't,” he reassured, giving his beloved’s hand a squeeze and assuaging any worry that might be surfacing about not being enough for Eddie and their little family.

That had been a battle for sure. It took a very long time before Eddie finally persuaded his other half that he was more than enough for them, that being down a leg doesn't make them want him any less, and that he doesn't have to prove himself capable of providing for the family.

“But taquitos. Abuela promised.”

He bursts out laughing. Sometimes, his love can be such a child when it comes to food.

“I'll save you some,” he promises, coaxing his husband to sit up a bit to seal the deal with a kiss.

“Fine,” his love grumbles half-heartedly, lacing their fingers together. “I've got to think about how to explain Shannon to Christopher anyway.”

Eddie mentally sighs. This is what he gets marrying someone who thinks only of others. “Cariño, take a break. We can talk to him about it later.”

“We’re seeing her next week. And Chris might have been too young to remember her, but he’s smart enough to know something’s up when we bring her to see a stranger.”

“We’ll think about it together then,” he compromises, nudging his other half when he sees their son getting towards the front of the line.

The conversation suddenly forgotten, his husband cranes his neck for a look, but the little height he has on Eddie barely does anything considering the crowd around them and the fact that the difference is definitely in his legs. “What do you think he’ll wish for?” his love asks.

“I don’t know. More toys? More games?”

He can think of a few games their son would like, and the LEGO phase has not died down yet so there’s a high possibility there. Besides that, Eddie doesn’t really know what Christopher would ask for. They give him almost anything he wants if it’s within reason and within their power.

“What if he wants another sibling?”

Eddie sits back, staring at his love, hope fluttering in his chest. He knows his soulmate wants more kids, but it had been a conversation they shelved for later with everything going on and his husband still being a probationary firefighter. He hadn’t expected the conversation to come up again for a while.

But now it’s back, and he’s having a hard time pressing that hope down because he wants it to a surprising degree despite how sudden fatherhood had struck him to begin with.

He wants more kids. He wants more life in their home. He wants more joy and laughter. “You want that? Now?”

“I do want that. It was nice having a sibling, you know? Even after everything, I can’t say I would have rather been a single child. And I think, if we start planning now, we can maybe bring two kids to see Santa two or three years from now. If you want to of course.”

There’s probably a silly grin on his face when he says, “I do. Absolutely. Anything with you.”

His love smiles that megawatt smile of his, the one that had rocked Eddie’s world, and the one that still makes his heart skip a beat and stomach flutter. It seems especially bright today though as they're thinking about their future that Eddie has to press a kiss to those pink lips again, giddy himself about the journey they're about to embark on soon.

“What do you want in the meantime?” he asks, still grinning, because his beloved puts his whole heart and soul into their son now, and it’s going to be worse when there are more kids to think about. So, until then, he’s going to make sure his husband has everything he wants.

“I have everything I want. You, Christopher, a great job.”

“Weren't you eyeing that pan earlier?”

His partner rolls his eyes. “I do not need an expensive pan, babe. I'm nowhere near the level for that.”

“But-”

“No,” his soulmate chuckles, giving their joined hands a squeeze. “Unless you have an idea about if I should get Maddie a Christmas gift and how I should tell the team about my past, I don't need anything.”

He sighs. At least he can say he tried. “Fine. Don't tell me then.”

Then, a devilish grin appears on his husband's face. “Well, I do have something I want now that I think about it. I want you to tell me what you want.”

“Nope,” he denies without a second thought. “I'm not telling you if you don't tell me.”

“Well, you asked what I wanted. And knowing what you want-”

“Hey, look! It's Christopher's turn!”

Sue him, it's the best distraction he has, and it is true that Christopher is up with Santa now. Unfortunately for them, they're too far for his partner to even attempt to read what's coming out of their son's lips. The seven-year-old seems to be having fun though, beaming at the camera for the photo that will inevitably be sent to his husband's email.

Before he knows it, he has their son in his arms, still vibrating with excitement, but unwilling to disclose what his wish is.

“Come on, superman,” his love coaxes. “I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

Christopher giggles. “Nope!”

The dramatic person that he is, Eddie's partner gasps, feigning a wound just as the Christmas elf that escorted Chris back to them approaches.

“You two have an adorable son,” she says, and Eddie beams as his husband gives a beaming, pleased smile.

“Yeah. We do,” he tells her.

And hopefully, by this time next year or the year after, they’ll have one more in their family.

Chapter Text

Buck has a little dilemma. A teeny, tiny dilemma.

Just a tiny one.

He doesn't know if he should get Maddie anything for Christmas.

And he doesn't know how to tell the team about his SEAL days.

Okay, so he has two tiny dilemmas.

He would count the conversation they have yet to have with Christopher about the mother he doesn't remember, but, honestly, it's a lot less daunting than the other two things.

It's just…with Maddie, he wouldn't even know what to get her, and he doesn't want to make it seem like he forgives her when a part of him still can't. They've talked over letters, Buck reassuring her he'll talk to Doug out of pursuing her and dragging her back to the other side of the country, how his days have been, and just some general pleasantries.

What does he even get her when they're like that? A gift card? Seems too impersonal even if they aren’t close right now. A spa voucher? He doesn't even know if she likes spas.

Movie tickets?

It's a…viable option. They wouldn't have to talk during the movie. Just see each other, maybe talk before the show or avoid talking by snacking, and get out of there.

Yeah, that just sounds awkward.

And the thing with telling the team is that it's been so long. How can he just go and casually mention it, especially without making it seem like he never trusted them?

Yeah, he'll talk to Christopher about Shannon any day.

Actually…

“Stop thinking so much.”

He whines, grabbing his husband's arm and pressing his face against it. “Babe, tell me what you want.”

Anything his love wants would be easier than this!

“You.”

Buck pouts despite the familiar feeling of warmth that blooms every time his partner makes it clear he wants Buck. “You're not helpful.”

“Well, I did bring in Maddie’s latest letter. Helpful enough?”

He warily eyes the plain, white envelope in his soulmate’s hand. This one seems to be particularly early. Didn’t he just get one yesterday?

With a slow reach just for dramatics, he reaches for the letter, sitting up properly to inspect it once it’s in hand.

It looks like a regular letter.

He thinks.

Maddie’s handwriting is neatly on the front, the stamp is there and marked, and there doesn’t seem to be tampering.

Why did Maddie send two back-to-back though?

With rising curiosity, Buck opens the envelope, finding the typical printer paper his sister uses, along with-

“A Costco membership?” he says, baffled at the turn of events.

“A what membership?” his husband asks, brows furrowed in confusion, peering over his shoulder to take a look at the enclosed ‘Gift of Membership’.

“She uh…gifted us a Costco membership.”

“Why?”

Buck scans the short letter it came with. “She thought of us?”

“That…doesn’t make sense.”

It really doesn’t, but at least he has part of his answer to his dilemma right? He has to at least reciprocate with something.

Maybe his phone number so they can text?

But what is he going to do with a Costco membership? Buy a 30-pound case of oranges?

Chapter Text

The thing is, Bobby can't say he's opposed to Athena's suggestion to move in with her.

It was just…sudden. He never thought about actually having another family after his family died by his own hands. To suddenly be essentially offered one…

It's a lot. It's a lot to process. A lot to think about. A lot to consider.

The bell rings, startling him out of his thoughts and prompting him to put his personal business to the side as everyone gears up and loads onto the trucks.

He won't risk his crew and any civilian just because of his indecisiveness.

“Bus got side-swept. Expect multiple injuries. Buck, Eddie, I need you two on medical,” he decides not long before they get to that intersection. There isn't anything in the report about a fire, so this is probably not going to require too many of his heavy fire and rescue crew. On the other hand, at this time of day, there were probably a lot of people on board that bus, so he’s going to need to put the Diaz Duo’s certifications to use.

“Copy, Cap,” comes two simultaneous responses as they make the turn to get to the scene.

And oh, that looks pretty bad. For something to flip a bus onto its side? That had to have had quite an impact.

“Let's go,” he tells his crew, getting out of the truck and making his way over to assess the scene.

Hen immediately goes to check on the driver, and Bobby flags down the officer to get an update on the situation.

“I don't know how-” the officer tells him, “-but we have mostly minor injuries, some cuts and bruises, except for this guy, and I don't know if he's gonna make it.”

Eddie and Chimney make a beeline with their supplies towards the guy the officer was gesturing to before she was even finished, getting down on the ground as Buck hovers nearby, ready to help at any time. Considering how most of the people there didn't need immediate medical attention and the rest of the crew had split off to help, Bobby lingers behind them because, overqualified or not, Buck is a probie and he can't have anything happening under his watch.

“Sergeant,” Eddie greets the man helping the man.

The sergeant acknowledges the greeting and immediately says, “That truck came out of nowhere, man. Piece of glass clipped him in the neck. Feels like it hit a major artery.”

“Carotid. You got your finger in the hole?”

“That's what we're trained to do. I've seen it before, unfortunately.”

“Me too. Where were you?”

“Leatherneck.”

“Ah. I was at Bagram.”

“Army?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Nobody's perfect.”

In an unexpected show of offense, Buck gapes. “He might be Army, but he's definitely perfect.”

“Buck,” Bobby warns. They've already got one warning. He does not want them to get another.

But he might be worried for nothing because the man grins, “And what were you?”

“Navy.”

Oh no.

Bobby doesn’t grimace but it's a near thing because if there's one thing that Bobby learned in this last year alone, it is that even the deepest, darkest secrets cannot be kept forever. All it takes is one incident to and one person for it to come to light.

This turned out to be the incident.

As for the person…

Well, they're the 118, the house where no secrets can be kept once one person knows.

And that happens to be Chimney, who is staring at Buck like he grew a second head.

The man snorts. “I was telling this guy off for calling me Top Gun when the bus got hit.”

Buck gives a short laugh, completely oblivious to the bomb he dropped on Chim. The reaction is entirely inappropriate for this situation but at least it doesn't seem like he has to worry about a complaint coming through because Buck felt the need to defend his husband right?

(And now that he thinks about it, he's probably never seen that reaction because no one's ever said Eddie was less than perfect. Sure, they've got racists every once in a while, but no one ever says Eddie doesn't do a good - or even great - job or appreciates him in some way or fashion.)

Now he just somehow has to let Buck know his secret is out.

“Let's run the fluids wide open,” Eddie tells them, a small, quiet grin on his face that tells Bobby he's enjoying this conversation, also forgetting that Chimney is right there. Granted, the Asian isn't letting the information get in the way of his work, moving efficiently and quietly despite his shocked expression. “You mind keeping your finger there for a moment? You don't have anywhere to be right?”

“Right. I'm good.”

He watches as Buck’s eyes flick towards the Marine, head cocked to the side and a furrow in his brow.

Huh. Seems like the Marine has somewhere to be after all.

He doesn't get a chance to ask though because it's quick work after that, a process that Bobby keeps an eye on until they get the man on a gurney to send him to the hospital. Then, the Marine doesn't say anything about it, instead asking if the man would be alright and seeing them off.

It's not until Buck - observant, always trying to help others Buck - jogs up next to him asking him if they can take the Marine to a show for his daughter's first solo performance that he gets the confirmation.

And of course, they have to give him a ride. Reunion aside, the man most likely just saved a man's life.

He does give Chimney a warning look before they lose sight of the paramedics though, hoping he will keep Buck's secret at least until Buck can be at the station to talk about it. He knows the kid was ready to come out about it, but he'd rather Buck do it on his own terms.

“Better hurry up and get dressed. We're gonna be there before you know it,” Eddie tells them Marine as they speed through the streets.

“I'm gonna cry,” Buck says, already looking emotional at the upcoming reunion. “I-I know I'm gonna cry.”

In the rearview mirror, he sees Eddie shoot his husband a sad look, and it occurs to Bobby that…

They wouldn't have had their own happy, heartfelt reunion.

He doesn't particularly want to think about the why but it comes unbidden anyway.

Buck had been hurt. Really hurt. He'd gone through a very rough patch.

There was no way that could have been a very happy reunion no matter how much the kid loved Eddie.

But at least they're together now, he thinks, watching as Buck chatters with their guest as a result of said guest finishing dressing and asking about how Buck and Eddie met. The kid's hands are animated as they gesture towards Eddie who has a fond smile on his face.

“He got my team to like him faster than I could get them to like me!” Buck tells the Marine.

“They just had good taste,” Eddie says, a grin on his face in what must be a familiar ribbing judging by their expressions.

Buck sends his husband a love-filled look, smile and all. “The best.”

“Boys,” Bobby cautions. He's not sure if they're trying to distract the Marine or if it's because it's someone new they can talk to about their military experience, but their guards about keeping things secret are definitely down.

And Robertson's eyebrows are definitely going up.

And he would rather not push any boundaries with the Marine.

“It's no problem, captain,” the sergeant reassures him. “I know plenty of people who met their matches in the military, and they wouldn't be the first same-sex couple I've met.”

Well, that's one issue solved for sure.

He still has to break the news to Buck though.

Because this is not getting covered up for much longer, especially considering how wide-eyed Robertson is when he turns to him when they pull out outside the venue and says, “Buck's a veteran?!”

“He will talk to everyone about it,” Bobby tells him, getting out of the truck to see this reunion.

And what a reunion it is.

It sings to him, seeing a family be reunited after so long, the love overflowing so much it's palpable. It makes him think about Athena's offer again, of the offer that gives him a family to go home to, to be there for, to be his. Of the family with kids that he can get to watch grow up and celebrate every milestone with.

Maybe the decision was obvious from the start.

He just has to let himself reach out and grasp it.

And as he watches the young man who turned his world back into a semi-upright position and has become his son in all but blood, he thinks that, sometimes, it's worth it to be brave and grasp your future no matter how much fear and blood and tears seems to stand in the way.

So he thinks he will grasp his.

But first…

“Hey, kid?”

Buck clears the last of the tears away from his face when they exit the building before turning to him. ”Yeah, Cap?”

“You admitted to being in the Navy at the scene.”

A confused frown crosses his face. “Yeah?”

”Remember who else was there?”

”Uh, you. The sergeant. The patient. My husband. And-“ Buck pales, stopping before the name comes out of his mouth. “Oh no.”

”Yeah,” Bobby confirms. “He’s not very good with secrets.”

“So uh, how likely is it that Chimney is going to tell everyone?”

“Too likely, kid. Too likely.”

Chapter Text

Hen is so, so curious.

Chimney is the twin brother she never had. She knows him. She knows his tells. She knows when something’s bothering him. She knows when he’s about to blow up and spout a secret that he’s probably not supposed to spout.

And this is definitely his “something is bothering me but I’m not allowed to tell even though I really wanna and it's killing me here”.

So, naturally, she's curious.

(She's also still curious about this Jason Bailey Chimney keeps running into and the situation with Maddie after the woman all but rejected the tree Chim gave her. A shame too, considering she thought that tree was great. But all of that is for another time.)

“So…” she says, giving Chimney her best ‘I-know-there's-something-you're-hiding’ face.

He groans, slumping back into the chair and running his hands through his hair. “Don't,” he pleads. “I'm already on shaky grounds with Maddie after the tree fiasco. If she finds out I stitched without him saying anything about it first, I'm screwed.”

“So it's about Buck.”

Chimney groans again, this time more dramatically than the last, and throws his hands up. “I didn’t say anything!”

“There's only one person Maddie would defend like that.”

That situation is curious too. The whole Buckley sibling situation that is. But Hen does have a bottom line and that feels like one she doesn't even want to toe. So she'll just have to gather information subtly through Chimney and Buck.

As for Chimney and Maddie…

“I think she'd appreciate you keeping it a secret though,” she says, a teasing smirk on her face. “Maybe enough that she'd go on a date with you.”

“We're not like that Hen.”

She lets a brow go up, judging him obviously but silently. Because really Chimney? Even if they're not anything Hen's absolutely sure Chim would like them to be.

Chimney goes to protest, mouth open before he pauses, something that's not quite usual, so she turns around, spotting Buck at the top of the stairs, also frozen in his tracks.

Oh, this is gonna be good, isn't it?

“Buck!” Chimney screams across the loft, desperately pleading. “Please tell me you're telling everyone!”

Buck looks flustered at the attention that draws from everyone, only moving to join them when Eddie gently nudges him.

“I uh…” he mutters once he's in earshot. “I don't really know what to say.”

“Come on, man,” Chimney protests. “It's not that big of a deal right?”

Hen kicks him under the table just as Bobby gives him a stern look as he passes them by to start their late lunch.

Look, she loves knowing things, secrets included. But secrets are secrets for a reason right? Maybe Chimney got it wrong and it is too big to share just because someone's all but forcing you to. Buck does not seem comfortable at the moment with saying anything.

(Though she is curious. So curious.)

“I guess?”

“But how about we eat lunch first?” Eddie suggests, giving Chim a clear warning through facial expression alone to back off.

“It's chili today everyone,” Bobby declares, and Hen immediately knows the menu is for Buck. Bobby’s fatherly tendencies towards their probie aside, he doesn't usually make chili unless he wants everyone in the absolutely best mood possible.

And the only way to do that is with his secret chili recipe that no one can figure out the secret ingredient to.

“Buck, wanna be my helper?”

Hen gapes along with everyone there.

Bobby never lets anyone help with chili.

Never.

Buck must know, too, because he brightens considerably, making a beeline towards the kitchen faster than Hen's ever seen him go before.

And, just like that, no secrets will be told in the hour, something that makes Chimney mumble and grumble despite the promise of Bobby's chili. However, because he has a sense of self-preservation, Chimney makes himself scarce from the rest of the team and from Hen's annoyance when the grumbling inevitably gets too much.

Look, no one said brothers can't be annoying.

But, when the dishes are cleaned of every last drop of chili possible, Hen’s attention fully locks onto Buck when the man looks like he's bracing himself, shoulders taunt and clutching his ‘I Like My Coffee Hot and Sweet Like My Husband’ mug like a lifeline.

“I was in the Navy.”

It comes out of seemingly nowhere, and the following silence is the same as all eyes - including Hen’s - go to the newest member of the crew.

Navy.

Buck.

Navy.

Buck was in the Navy.

Buck?

“I was going to tell everyone,” Buck adds, looking a little like a kicked puppy when no one says anything.

Kicked puppy.

Buck.

Navy.

“He was,” Eddie confirms.

“Biased third party,” Hen finds herself saying without her brain’s input. “But I wouldn't have guessed. You're so…you.”

Buck looks down at himself like that will give him the reason why Hen's putting it that way, and it's so endearing in a way that Hen can't help but add the word into her unsolvable equation.

Endearing.

Kicked puppy.

Buck.

Navy.

Something just doesn't compute there for her. Sure, she had thought it was a possibility that Eddie's spouse he met overseas was military as well. Sure, she knows not to judge a book by its cover. Sure, she will be the first to admit that she doesn't know nearly enough veterans in her life to see one and say ‘he's one’.

But Buck? Physical build aside, he just doesn't seem like the military kind of guy. There's just something so indescribably…good about Buck. He's almost always sunshine and smiles. He gets sad about every single person they lose on the job. He loves.

Heck, Hen can't even remember seeing the guy killing an ant!

And you're telling her he was in the Navy?!

“Uh, what…job were you in?” she asks. There are non-combatant jobs in the military. right? She could definitely see Buck as a liaison of some sort. He's friendly enough to be one.

“I uh…IwasaSEAL.”

Huh?

She must be hearing wrong. His word vomiting definitely jumbled up some words.

Right?

Buck sighs, defeated. “SEAL. I was a Navy SEAL.”

Hen officially blue screens. Somewhere in her head, there's a dial tone just ringing and ringing and ringing…

SEAL?

Buck?

He was a SEAL?

Even she's heard of them, and the image doesn't match up.

“A SEAL?! Seriously?” Chim exclaims, clearly invested now that that information is out and eagerly wanting to know more.

“Uh-uh. You’re pulling our legs. There’s no way you’re a former Navy SEAL,” someone else says, and that snaps Hen out of her stupor.

Because Buck looks…nervous. Unsettled. Uncomfortable.

And it makes her think, her brain coming back online to normal capacity.

It does hurt that he didn't tell them earlier. They're friends and coworkers. They're family.

But maybe people don't generally believe him? Maybe he didn't want his first impression to be ‘I'm a tough guy’? Maybe he just wants to be Buck?

Regardless, he's family. Because while Chim’s like the twin brother she never had, Buck has slid into the role of her little brother flawlessly. He gives her heart palpitations (yes, she still remembers the ambulance incident because really Diazes? Both of you?), he takes all the ribbing and embarrassment good-heartedly, and he gets a good chunk of the attention from the parents (a.k.a Bobby).

But, most importantly, he’s the little brother who she wants to protect at all costs.

Does it matter what he was before anyway?

“Hey, the important part is you're a firefighter now, right?” she says. Then, to disperse the fire around their probie as much as she can, she adds with a teasing smirk, “Even if it is a probationary one.”

Buck gapes at her, the mixture of mock indignation (again, he takes ribbing well) with an awed and grateful undertone so strong that she knows it is the right choice to divert everyone’s attention even if she’s curious herself.

“Though if you are hiding anything else, we will have words.”

He grins sheepishly at her. “I uh-”

The bell rings, cutting off whatever he is going to say, but there’s no time to question it further when everyone is called out for the nth time that day.

“Ugh, it’s almost Christmas! Can't people leave the emergencies alone?” Buck protests as he runs after his husband after another sip of his coffee.

Hen grins. Still Buck. Still the little brother she never had.

Why does it matter that he’s a former Navy SEAL?

Chapter Text

Bobby can’t say the whole thing was intentional.

It starts off with one thing, left by an irresponsible shopper on one of the cardboard displays in the middle of the produce section of his favorite grocery store.

A small box of LEGO.

The toy prompts him to think about a child who’s currently deep into the LEGO phase according to his dads, one of who usually frequents this store with Bobby.

Then a glance at the festive decor and printings on the box makes him grab the little box of plastic, adding it to his cart.

Of course, it doesn’t stop there because why would he give Christopher Diaz only a small, single box of the beloved toy that only costs ten bucks?

That just wouldn’t do.

So he makes a detour into the toy section, easily finding the aisle filled with LEGO from little bags to big boxes.

He hesitates though, wondering if this is a good idea.

Because the thing is, he hasn’t shopped for toys since…

Since Minnesota. Since before he became addicted to anything that would take his pain away.

Those last few birthdays and Christmases, Marcy had stepped up in his place, getting gifts for Robert Jr. and Brook when he failed to. She would somehow get their lists, buy their children what they wanted, and pretend the gifts were from them both when all Bobby was doing was getting drunk or high or too hungover to even think about that stuff.

And now he’s going to shop for someone who’s not his?

Is that… Is that a dishonor to their memories?

But now that he’s trying to move forward (largely because of a certain kid he met here) and less focused on balancing the scale and seeing his family again, he thinks that Marcy and his children wouldn’t mind if he does this.

So he browses. He browses the smaller sets that Christopher could likely do on his own. He browses sets that could be additional add-ons to playsets. He browses sets for the child to do maybe in a few months. He browses larger sets that Buck, Eddie, and Christopher can all do together.

It’s nice to be able to do this again, he thinks, adding one last thing to the cart fifteen minutes later.

And now he’s here on the doorstep of 4995 Bedford Street after a quick check-in to see if the family is in, questioning if this is a good idea after all.

Is it weird? Did he overstep?

But the decision whether to make himself known or not is taken out of his hands when the door opens, revealing a grinning Buck. “Bobby!”

“Hey, kid.”

“Come in,” Buck coaxes, stepping aside, drawing Bobby’s attention to the fact he’s using a crutch and not his leg.

It’s not a bad thing, of course. He’s sure Buck needs time away from his prosthetic after hours upon hours with it at work. It’s just…unusual for Bobby to see him like this and he’s reminded how honored he is that Buck will let down those walls with him.

Buck leads him into the kitchen, where Eddie is leaning over a piece of paper with what looks like a shopping list on it. “You're just on time. We were just talking about whether we should go to Costco or not, and I think we need a second opinion.”

“Costco?”

“Yeah. I looked it up after Maddie got us a membership, and, Bobby, it looks amazing! I thought wholesale meant it's for big items, but there's so much there!”

“It's also two days before Christmas,” Eddie interjects, looking up after writing a question mark down on something. “Hey, Bobby. Want something to drink?”

“I'm okay,” he declines before thinking of a way to let Buck down and tell him not to go to Costco right now.

It's not like he knows much about Costco. He and Marcy had tried a wholesale membership once but had ultimately declined to renew it. They hadn't used it enough to justify the membership fee, and having two kids in an apartment meant that space was a precious commodity. After that, he's never really thought about them.

So, no, he can't say he's a wholesale expert. He just has the general idea of cheaper gas prices, hot dogs, cookies, and buying in higher quantities.

But what he does know is that there's no way the Costco crowds could be better than the crowds he just went through.

“And I agree with Eddie here,” he finally decides, cutting straight to the chase, but, upon seeing the first signs of a frown, adds, “The stores are crowded, Buck. If you go and take Christopher, he might have a hard time getting around.”

And there's the acceptance he was hoping for because if there's one person Buck loves more than his husband, it's his son. There's no way Buck would want Christopher to miss out on the experience and he will make sure it's the best experience possible.

“Fine,” he sighs. Then, under his breath, he huffs. “I was hoping to find that set on sale for Chris.”

That reason is very on point for the kid, and it reminds him-

“Here,” Bobby says, handing over the two bags he has. “Merry Christmas.”

Buck blinks at him, confused, while Eddie takes the bags from him so his husband won't have to let go of his crutch. As Bobby watches, they both peer into the bags and their eyes go wide.

“Bobby-”

“Cap-”

“You didn't have to-”

“-Christopher has more than enough toys-”

“-and isn't it some violation to give your subordinates gifts?”

“-at least just to one or two of them?”

It takes a moment for the words to process, but then he smiles, oddly touched at their concern about him getting into trouble.

“Buck was my friend first. Besides, it's for Christopher.”

“We didn't get you anything!” Buck protests.

“You at least have to stay for lunch,” Eddie insists, probably knowing it was a losing battle to decline Bobby's gift.

Buck nods enthusiastically. “Yeah, let's do that. We got some food from Abuela anyway.”

“Taquitos?” he asks, knowing it’s Buck’s favorite.

“Just tamales actually,” Eddie says with a teasing grin at his husband as he places the bags onto the table and starts moving out of the kitchen. “They finished the taquitos the day we got them.”

“Hey! You ate some too!”

Bobby grins, unknowingly accepting their invitation to lunch when he's stalled long enough for Christopher to come out and go through his gifts, leaving Bobby unable to resist staying when the child turns to him with a beaming smile and requests to play with him.

And, well, he didn't have much to do anyway.

==========================

Three hours and the urge to ask for Isabel Diaz's recipes later, Bobby is getting ready to head out when Buck stops him.

“Hey, Bobby, I just wanted to thank you.”

“It's fine, Buck. It was just a little present for Christopher.”

“No, I meant for yesterday.”

Bobby knows what he's talking about immediately, thinking back to their time in the kitchen right before Buck told the team about his past as a Navy SEAL.

“I didn't do much.”

All he did was tell Buck to say something only if he felt comfortable and that he would step in to get the team off his back if he wasn't ready yet.

“Still, it meant a lot to me. So thank you.”

“Anytime, kid. And I wanna say, I'm proud of you for doing that. I know it must have been hard to tell them.”

Buck shrugs with one shoulder, looking down at his leg. “I didn't tell them everything.”

“But it's a start. And if you’re not ready to say anything, don’t let them get to you. You know how they are, but they will respect your boundaries.”

”Hen did stop them from questioning too much.”

Bobby nods. He can always count on Hen to come through despite her more…questionable tendencies, like betting on everything and anything.

“And Chimney is just curious. He doesn’t need to know. But if you decide to spill a secret on accident and expect him to keep it, I can’t really help you there.”

”I’ll just get Maddie on him,” Buck muses. “Worked yesterday.”

“I did wonder,” Bobby admits because Chimney is notorious for being unable to keep a secret. “But I haven’t been able to ask: how do you feel about Chimney and your sister?”

This whole situation with Buck's relationship with his sister and Chimney's relationship with her is a complicated one at best, and, while he usually doesn't pair Buck and Chim up, he’d like to know if Buck is okay with the paramedics ahead of time.

“I'm fine with it.”

“Good because I don’t want any bad feelings from you to Chim or vice versa on the job, okay?”

Buck raises his hand in surrender. “Yep. Message received, Cap. No hard feelings from me to Chimney. And I don’t think Chimney will have any either. Maddie and I are…working on repairing things.”

It surprises him at the same time it doesn’t. With the initial reaction he had seen from Buck regarding his sister and what he heard afterward, he knew it would be a rocky road if they ever reconciled. At the same time, it's Buck, and the siblings' recovering relationship clears up why Buck could and would contact his sister right after realizing he spilled his secret in front of Chimney when Bobby knows they've been communicating via mail.

“I'm happy for you, kid,” he says, glad that Buck is on his way to accepting his sister back in his life despite the hurt he’s been through. It takes a lot of courage to do that.

A small, bashful smile slides onto Buck's face. “Thanks. It's not like I've forgotten, but it…feels better, moving forward from it. She's trying, so I'm trying. And I genuinely think it'll work out.”

And looking at Buck now, looking more at peace with his past makes any remnant of doubt Bobby has about his next steps in his life vanish into thin air.

Because, yes, it is time to move forward. To finish building this family that’s started to come together piece by piece since Buck has come into his life.

And the next step sits in his pocket with the promise of the future.

Chapter Text

Eddie doesn't panic.

He doesn't.

It's just a fact that he doesn't.

But watching Shannon and Christopher interact across the bench table from them?

Yeah, he's nervous.

Not because he’s worried about Christopher understanding he has a mom, of course. They went over that the day before.

Christopher looks at them in confusion across the table, clearly understanding something’s going on but not sure what.

With a fortifying breath, his husband explains, “Okay, so you know how some of your classmates- well, most, since statistically speaking-”

“Cariño.”

It's good to know he's not the only nervous one but this is not the time for one of his love's tangents.

Unfortunately for them, Eddie has never been quite good enough with words that it would be any easier if he explained it.

“Right,” his partner breathes. “Most of your classmates have a mom and a dad.”

Christopher nods.

“So, everyone has a mom and dad. Sorta since-”

“Cariño.”

His other half wrinkles his nose. “Everyone has a mom and dad. And you do too, Christopher.”

“But I have you two.”

“You do. And you always will. But you know how Harry's parents got divorced and now his parents have someone else they’re seeing? And how he might end up having three dads and a mom if they get remarried?”

Eddie holds his breath as Christopher frowns, hoping that the situation with Harry and his family will make Chris understand.

“I have two dads and a mom?”

“Yea, mijo,” he confirms with a sigh of relief. “Your mom and I…we got divorced when you were little.”

“Very little,” his beloved adds.

“Very little. And she left to do what she had to do.”

“And you married Papa,” Christopher concludes.

“And I married your Papa.”

“So… two dads and a mom.”

“Yep. And…your mom wants to see you. Get to know you.”

Christopher nods but an upset frown forms on his face, making Eddie's gut churn.

“Will I have to live with her? Harry sometimes lives with his dad and sometimes with his mom.”

“No, superman,” his beloved quickly reassures, going around to hold their son close as Eddie follows close behind. “Not unless you want to, okay?”

Their seven-year-old nods, burying his face in his soulmate's shirt.

“I love you two,” comes a muffled voice.

And, together, they chorus, “We love you too.”

He and his husband had very patiently answered all of the questions Christopher had once the worry of living with a stranger had passed, and it had gone way too close to sex education for Eddie's comfort. Fortunately, his love is good at thinking on the spot and distractions so they had avoided that talk till a later day. Other than that, it went well, so, no, he's not nervous about that part of the equation.

It's just…everything else because there were still so many unknowns and uncertainties.

For one, he hopes he doesn't accidentally get into an argument with Shannon. Christopher had been way too young to remember his mother, much less the very heated arguments Eddie could get in with her, and he would like to keep that from his son

Two, he's not entirely sure how Christopher will actually take to Shannon overall. He and his partner have been the only two parents Christopher has ever known, so to add one now? And what if their son realizes he's been abandoned by his mom? Would that affect him?

Three, how would they all get along? His beloved and Shannon…he wouldn't say they were close when they were in El Paso. Sure, when it came to Christopher, they got along great. But his then-friend had been there for him, and, more often than not, would try to keep the peace between them but end up siding with Eddie.

But the hand squeezing his grounds him, reassuring him that it'll all be alright.

And if there's anyone to trust with this, it's his soulmate.

“Are you excited for your new school?” Shannon asks, putting down her napkin as they wrap up the lunch they brought with them to the park.

Christopher, who had warmed up to his biological mom almost right away, nods excitedly. “Their robotics club looks sooo cool! And the science club!”

Eddie grins at Christopher's enthusiasm. They had enrolled him in his previous school's robotics club upon Christopher's request, but Durand's is better by leaps and bounds, drawing their son in the moment he set eyes on the classroom dedicated to the club.

“He's very good at science,” his husband tells Shannon. “I don't know where he got it from.”

“Not from me. God knows I was terrible at it,” Shannon says, laughing at her own expense. “Almost flunked out too because of it.”

Eddie snorts. He remembers that close call.

Shannon gives him a look. “Like you were any better.”

And maybe in another life, another time, his hackles would have been raised. He would have defended himself and started an argument unwillingly.

But not this life because his partner and son snicker at his expense.

“Daddy hates science.”

“He really is terrible at it.”

He throws them a look of mock betrayal.

Maybe he should have been worried they got along with Shannon too well.

He unlatches his hand from his beloved's to hook an arm around his arm instead, giving the love of his life an unimpressed look. “I’d like to see you ace an English test.”

It's funny when he thinks about it actually. He, the part of this relationship who's terrible at using his words, is so much better at words than his partner who seems to be talking more often than not.

Not that he’ll ever complain about his soulmate’s endless chatter. It’s nice. It’s welcoming. It’s one of the best things in the world.

It also means his love is happy.

It’s just kinda funny.

Though maybe it tracks. Eddie has always been more of a rules person, and that’s what English is. Clauses, phrases, compound sentences, etc. You learn the rules and work with them.

But SEALs or not, his husband is not a rule stickler. He gets them, of course, and he follows them. But he likes experimenting, thinking outside the box, and trying new things. Science lets his curiosity have something to latch onto along with his other favorite subject.

His beloved sticks his tongue out at him. “And I’d like to see you ace a social studies test.”

Because of course, his partner loves the facts that come with subjects like history.

And Eddie is all in for it.

At that thought, he grins, “And I'm all here to help you study.”

Before they can fall into their line of bantering, though, Shannon says, “Are you two always like this?”

It startles Eddie out of thoughts about his partner to stare at her.

Maybe in the past, he would say she's trying to hide her amusement, but he can't say for certain now. Not after everything.

So the thing that crosses his mind is about her thinking it's bad for Christopher to be around his and his husband's antics and the possibility of her using that as something against them should it come down to it.

Sure, they can argue back saying it's good for Christopher to grow up in a loving family where he knows he's free to choose who he loves, but still.

It worries him.

But it doesn't seem to worry his soulmate, who just lightly blushes at being called out by Eddie's ex, fiddling with his phone as a distraction, expression turning mildly shocked at whatever he sees on his lock screen.

And whatever can shock his love, Eddie needs to know.

“What's wrong, cariño?” he asks, leaning over to look at his love's phone. He'd pull it away if he didn't want Eddie to see.

“Nothing,” his beloved says but the furrow in his brow gives away his confusion. “Just Maddie wanting to ask Chimney out apparently.”

It doesn’t even get properly filtered in his mind. “Oh. About time one of them makes a move.”

His husband turns to him, blue eyes wide, “You knew?!”

“Did you not?”

“No. I just thought they were really good friends!” his love whines. Then he groans like he realized something. “That's why Bobby asked me if I’m okay with Chimney and Maddie, isn’t it?”

“Probably.”

“Don't laugh at me.”

“I'm not,” he says despite the fond amusement blooming in his chest.

He really does want to laugh, but he'll reel it in for his beloved who’s probably kicking himself for not seeing it sooner.

“You are. You’re laughing at my inability to see my coworker liking my sister as more than a friend.”

Unable to help himself, he snorts. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I saw it because I know what it’s like to be in love with a Buckley,” Eddie assures him, pressing a chaste kiss onto his lips.

Once they separate, there's a soft look on his husband's face before-

“Wait. Love? Wait, wait, wait. Chimney loves Maddie? Babe-”

He turns around, letting his partner work it out on his own only to catch Shannon giving them a happy, teasing smile.

Huh.

Maybe this will be just fine.

Chapter Text

New year, new me.

That's what Buck has been reminding himself.

New year, new me.

He has his resolutions written down in his notebook - because he's learned to never rely on his phone to keep everything in thanks to his time in the SEALs and an incident involving a very young Christopher - where he keeps all his budgeting stuff, calendars, and to-do lists. He also has the house cleaned, ideas for Christopher's lunch ready, and he is doing a fantastic job at the newest recipe Bobby gave him - stuffed peppers.

Now…Maddie.

He wants to take a step forward in repairing their relationship.

It's been something he's considered since she texted him asking if it was okay if she asked Chimney out. It was like that moment had settled the part of him that had been worried about her leaving and cutting him off again.

And it is the new year, so he should be brave and try to make it happen.

But how?

The door opens and shuts, signaling his husband's return from his weekly basketball game.

(Look, Buck loves the outdoors. He loves moving and keeping in shape. But basketball? Hard no. Honestly, most sports are a hard no for him.)

“Hey, babe!” he calls at the same time Christopher goes “Daddy!”

His love smiles widely at the greeting, pressing a kiss on top of their son's curls before turning to him to press a chaste kiss to his lips. “I smell something good.”

Buck grins at the radiant way Christopher lights up at the reminder of the treat awaiting him. “Cinnamon rolls.”

His partner immediately looks eagerly delighted, the expression the one their son is sporting. “Bobby's recipes?”

“Who else's? But shower first.”

He's assaulted with some absolutely devastating sad doe eyes, but he stands his ground. “You stink, babe. And I haven't put the icing on yet.”

“Fine,” his soulmate grumbles and moves out of the kitchen as Christopher giggles at them. “I want extra icing though!”

“Already on it!” he tells him, grabbing his humongous bowl of icing and looking at his son. “Wanna help, superman?”

With an enthusiastic nod and agreement, they start their work, putting so much icing on the cinnamon rolls there's more icing than pastry.

It’s not exactly how he likes his cinnamon rolls and he knows it'll result in a sugar crash from Christopher. But he lets it happen anyway because his boys love it like this and he'll do anything for them to keep them happy.

An arm wraps around his waist and a familiar, warm body presses against him just as the last of the icing gets onto the sugary treats. “Better now?”

“Much,” he says, kissing his beloved's cheek before turning back to set the rolls on plates.

His husband hums in satisfaction. “Oh, did you see the text from Shannon?”

“Yep. Dinner Wednesday night?”

“Whatever works for us.”

“Let her know then.”

He doesn't need to see his partner's face to see the dissatisfied look there, but he brushes it off either way. His love will have to get used to talking and contacting Shannon civilly eventually. Christopher being open to his mom and their group chat is sort of helping with that but it hasn't been long since they started having contact with her and an even shorter time since they first started taking their son to see her. Last time they met with her, Buck still had to distract them from airing old grievances around Christopher and defuse their instinctive habits to go at each other.

But it’s getting better. His beloved seems more reassured that Shannon isn't here to take Christopher from them and is more open to meeting up with her at least once a week if not twice.

Baby steps, right?

And maybe that's what he needs with his sister too.

“Hey, what do you think about a double date?” he asks, dislodging his partner in favor of setting Christopher's plate.

“Double date? Is Shannon seeing someone?”

Buck startles before realizing why his husband would assume that. “Oh no. Sorry. I'm not talking about Shannon. I'm talking about Maddie actually. I think- I think I’m ready to talk to her in person. But…”

His soulmate nods, knowing his worry without him having to voice it. It's the same with him and Shannon after all.

“You really think Chimney wants to deal with us outside of work?” his love asks instead, a smirk on his face.

Buck snorts. Their coworkers have made it very clear what they think of their pda despite how limited it is, usually giving them a wide berth or fond eye-roll, and Chimney is always complaining about it heatlessly. Unlike Hen though, he's rarely seen their pda outside of work.

Oh, this would be good.

“So we're doing it?”

“Anyday that works, cariño.”

Probably Saturday then. They have a 36 after Wednesday but that gives them the whole Saturday and Sunday off. But since his partner has his basketball thing with other first responders on Sunday, Saturday would be best.

Besides, if he can work out something with Hen for her and Karen to babysit, that might evolve into a sleepover, and those are always better on Saturday nights. If not, Pepa is more likely available on Saturday than Sunday anyway.

“Chris! Just one!” his husband warns, pulling Buck back to his family as sneaky little hands retreat from where they were wandering, Christopher having wandered to the counter amid their conversation, cheeks still stuffed with the single roll Buck had given him.

Buck laughs, ruffling his son's hair. “Slow down superman. You can have mine.”

Christopher frowns, shaking his head. After a huge swallow that worries Buck to the moon and back, he says, “It's yours, Papa.”

His infinite love for his son blooms and multiples even more.

“One,” his partner reminds them. “For both of you.”

“Well, if the average is still one each…”

Eventually, between Christopher's insistence he get at least a bite of the sugary concoction and his love's insistent on limiting Christopher's sugar intake on top of wanting Buck to have some he gets half of one, eating the treat between talking about where they should eat with Shannon.

And maybe it’s the happy feeling he has when he’s with his family but he feels brave.

He thinks he'll go ask Maddie about having a double date in person. Because, you know, baby steps. Better to see her and try to talk to her a little before he locks himself into a double date that might last hours.

Yeah, he'll do that. Maybe even tonight before he chickens out.

But of course, it's not that simple.

Because instead of Maddie, he finds Chimney bleeding out on the ground.

And some of the pieces of the puzzle click into place.

Chapter Text

Over the years, Bobby has learned that it's never good to receive an unexpected call late at night; this time is no exception.

By the time he arrives at the scene, worried out of his mind, there's already police everywhere and evidence markers on the ground.

“Hey, I got here as soon as I could,” he says as soon as Athena is in earshot.

She gestures for him to follow him. “You might just be on time actually.”

He doesn't quite understand what she means when he hears it.

“Doug Kendall is your suspect.”

Buck.

“Buck's the one who called it in,” Athena tells him. “He was a little unresponsive when I got here, but now he's just…”

“You said he was in Pennsylvania.”

“Was, Detective.”

Yeah, he can hear the problem.

Because that does not sound like the Buck they know and love.

“And how can you be so sure?” he hears the detective say as they get closer to them.

“My sister found me through my in-laws in El Paso. Then a Matthew I don't know shows up in El Paso asking for me. Then Chimney says a Jason took her. The same Jason that he became friends with not long ago. You're not that stupid to think that's a coincidence.”

Bobby grimaces.

Buck sounds…harsh. Emotionless. Intense.

This…This is the person Buck hates to be.

“So, how has your first month been, Buck?” Bobby asks, doing a routine check-up on his probationary firefighters in case anything needs adjusting.

“Great,” Buck tells him with a grin.

“You sure? Because if there's something that needs to be adjusted…”

“Nope. Not a single thing, Cap. I mean it. This job is everything I could have asked for. It's amazing. You don't treat me like an invalid. I get to use my skills to help people. To-to make a difference. And I get to be myself to do it.”

Bobby gets ready to open his mouth when the kid forges on like he's desperate for Bobby to understand.

“Because I had to shut my emotions off in the SEALs, and I hated it even if I knew it was for the best. But I don't have to here. And I get to see all the good I do. And-”

“Alright alright. I believe you kid,” Bobby interrupts, fond amusement blooming in his chest. “No changes.”

And now he's like this again because someone decided to kidnap his sister.

“Look, you have no right to tell me what to do, kid. It can be a coincidence for all you know. It could be someone with a vendetta from her job. She could have left willingly. Or-”

“-you're ignoring the obvious.”

Bobby steps in between Buck and the detective so that he can keep an eye on both of them, hoping that he can keep the latter from locking Buck up somewhere. “Buck, calm down.”

“I'm afraid there's no time for that Captain.”

He ignores how wrong it feels to be addressed like that from Buck. “Kid.”

“I'm not standing by when a possible murderer has my sister.”

“Look,” the detective says with a sneer on his face. “You are just getting in the way of our job. Ours. Not yours. So I-”

The detective’s phone rings, and he huffs before taking it out, obviously trying not to let Buck stop him from doing his job. But Bobby sees the moment he purses his lips, anger clouding his expression.

Whoever is on the other side of that call talks for a minute, a minute that is dragged on too long with the tension in the air. Then, with a last disgruntled huff, the detective hangs up, looking around Bobby towards Buck. “Fine. You do whatever you need to.”

“Good.”

Bobby turns around just to see Buck stomp off, grabbing Chimney’s phone from where it was on the floor.

“Buck,” he tries, a little desperate to get their Buck back. He’s not sure what the difference - if there’s any difference - in how Buck operates is when he’s like this, but he knows the kid enough by now to know he’d rather not be like this. Besides, this is the side of Buck that Bobby knows is dangerous, and if it comes down to it and Buck kills a man when there are other options, the kid will never forgive himself.

So Bobby catches up to him, standing in front of Buck with his hands up hoping to stop him from continuing like this. “She’s still alive. He took her. If he wanted her dead, you would have found her.”

“I found Chimney. And Doug will repeat his actions if he feels the need to.”

“And if you find her? What will she think about you like this?”

“She’ll be glad I found her.”

He doesn’t want to let the kid go like this. Loathes even the thought of it. Loathes the potential fallout of it.

But he can’t stall for long. Not with Maddie kidnapped and the drive the kid has to find her. If they can’t break through this state of his now-

“Cariño.”

Bobby doesn’t even have to turn around before Eddie - who Athena must have let in - is there, a bag in one hand and the other on Buck’s cheek.

“Do you have it?” Buck asks his husband, and Bobby applauds the way Eddie doesn’t even blink at the tone he’s being given.

“I do, but-”

“Give me.”

“No.”

“Eddie.”

He grimaces. This Buck uses Eddie’s name it seems like.

“Buck.”

“Eddie, just-”

“Evan.”

Bobby does a double-take. He knows that Buck’s actual name is Evan, but to hear it from Eddie is an experience that gives him a mild case of whiplash, especially in a low, no-nonsense way it rolls off Eddie's tongue. It snaps him out of his desperation to get Buck to listen to him and makes him refocus on his surroundings.

Athena standing close.

The detective still looking upset but giving them a wide berth.

The people swarming around taking pictures and collecting evidence.

The gun holster Eddie pulls out of the bag.

The what now?

Before he can make sense of it, Bobby notices the way Buck blinks and sees the moment the emotions are back, light back in the now-familiar eyes.

“I need you to listen to me,” Eddie demands. “I will give you this. But you come back to me, you hear me? Don't go landing yourself in jail.”

Buck looks sheepish, ducking his head. “Well, I might have called in a favor…”

“I don't care, Evan Diaz. You come home, alright?”

The kid looks at his husband in the eyes, searching. Then, earnestly and with a small smile on his face, says, “Of course, babe.”

“Good. Now, what do you need from me?”

“Have you heard about Chimney's condition?”

“Stabilizing.”

Buck nods his head. “Keep an eye on Chimney. I doubt Doug will be back now that he has Maddie. But I don't want to take the chances. He's always been possessive over her.”

“I can do that.”

“Let's get to the hospital then. I've got to unlock this phone.”

“No,” Bobby interrupts, looking at Buck. “Go with Athena. She’s the one who can get the lights right now. We’ll be right behind you and I'll drive Eddie back later to pick up your Jeep.”

The kid blinks at him like he's surprised Bobby is helping rather than actively trying to stop him. Then, he grins, turning to Athena. “Wanna give me a lift, Sargeant?”

“If I must,” she says, heatless, the tone fortified by the fact she adds, “Let's go, Buckaroo.”

Buck nods with determination, moving towards Athena after giving his husband a quick kiss.

“And kid?” Bobby says before they get too far, drawing Buck’s attention. “I don’t know what you pulled with the detective, but you listen to her.”

Buck blinks at him, surprised once again, as if he didn't expect Bobby to order him around right now. Then, with a good-natured smirk, he says, “Got it, Pops. And thanks.”

Chapter Text

Athena Grant knows many things.

She learns of them through being told. She learns of them through observation. She learns of them through experience. She learns of them through her own research, never letting herself stagnate.

But sometimes, she has to learn on the spot, rolling with everything to the best of her ability and hoping everything turns out fine on the other side.

Which is where this situation falls into.

Because, logically, she knows Buck used to be a SEAL. She knows, logically, that the SEALs are tough to get into. She knows, logically, that the SEALs have a certain reputation because of what they do and what they can do.

But logic nor the intuition she relies on so much prepared her to see Buck fall back into that old role, shedding - no, masking - his usual happy persona that she's come to know after his hero worship of her died down after constant exposure.

It's sort of back now, at least, thanks to his husband, but there's tension in every pore of his body, razor sharp and ready to turn deadly at any moment. In his hand, his gun and holster are in a white-knuckled grip.

She doesn't like it one bit.

“Never took you for a gun person, Buck. I hope you have a license for that,” she says, hoping to distract him. There's not much they can do right now except get to the hospital and hope they get a lead on where Maddie could be taken.

It seems to do the job though there's probably not much she can do to distract him entirely. At the very least, his grip lessens, and he looks down at the weapon he's holding rather than staring at the road ahead of them.

“I have a license,” he tells her. “Never wanted to hold a gun again in my life if I can help it, but figured it could be helpful.”

“As long as it's in a safe place.”

“Safest in the whole house. Safe within a safe under the floorboards.”

Athena snorts. “That is safe indeed.”

A silence falls on them again, the only sound of her siren blaring.

Two more minutes at most before they're there. Then they'll get a lead.

Hopefully.

“You're not going to ask?”

She hums. “Figured you'd say something when you want to.”

Athena can sense his gaze on her, and she remains calm, wondering what in the world he's thinking right now.

But she means it. She's curious how Buck overrode Marks and got control of the case, but she won't pry as much as she wants to.

Her years as a mother have taught her that some secrets are best to be patient with. Eventually, her kids will wear down and tell her, avoiding any fallout that may have come had she pried.

She's hoping that's the case here too.

They get to the hospital, the both of them jumping out of her car and rushing in, immediately spotting Hen and the others who have come to check in on Chimney.

“How is he?” she asks, taking the initiative, not knowing how Buck will go about this. Fortunately, it doesn't backfire on her, the blonde staying silent.

Hen heaves a sigh. “Alive. But they can't bring him into surgery until he's stabilized.”

That means they can still get Chim's phone unlocked.

Athena flags down the closest ER nurse, flashing her badge to get the message across. “We need to see Howard Han. He was brought in with multiple stab wounds.”

Recognition flashes across the nurse's face. “I'm afraid Mr.Han-”

“It's important,” Buck cuts in but backs down with a look from her.

“We have an active kidnapping case and we need to get into his phone,” she says, voice giving away her no-nonsense attitude.

“I'll get the doctor for you.”

“‘Thena, what's happening?” Hen asks, worried.

“We suspect Maddie's ex - or soon-to-be ex - kidnapped her. Chimney was in the way and got taken down. Has he talked about a Jason recently?”

“Y-yeah. Jason Bailey. Chim ran into him a few times and they started playing pool together. He said Jason's been helping him with making Maddie happy.”

Athena looks over at Buck. both of them coming to the same conclusion.

Jason is definitely Doug.

The doctor comes over to them then, looking at Athena. “Officer, I've been told you need to see Howard Han?”

“Sargeant, actually, and yes.” Athena looks at Buck. “Do what you need to, Buck.”

The expression on the doctor's face suggests he's about to protest, which isn't surprising considering Buck's also in his civvies. But she gives the doctor a hard look. “He’s with me.”

The man acquiesces, gesturing for Buck to follow him and bringing him into the back.

“What's happening?” Hen asks again when they're out of earshot. “Buck-”

“I don't know how much he would want me to say, Hen. But I do know that he got the go-ahead to do whatever he needs to find his sister.”

Hen frowns, her expression telling Athena that she's thinking and thinking fast. “Is it because…”

“Possibly,” she says though there's little else she can think of it could be.

Hen nods. “And how's he holding up? I mean, I know he and Maddie don’t have the greatest relationship, but…”

She sighs. Hen noticing Buck’s behavior isn’t strange at all. Her friend is observational in her own right. But it’s not something that Athena feels like she can talk about. “I don't know, Hen. I don't know.”

It's not a great feeling, she finds, especially when it comes to her fiancé's pseudo-son. For as long as she'd known him, he always seemed to be an open book with his heart on his sleeve and endless chatter.

But she doesn't know him well enough, apparently. Not enough to know how to deal with this serious, tense side of him and certainly not enough to the degree that family should know each other.

Buck comes back shortly after, scrolling through Chimney's phone and his own while efficiently dodging anyone in his way. “Got it,” he tells her. “I’m gonna have someone track Doug's phone. We should get ready to move out.”

She looks at the kid, half incredulous and half curious as they leave the hospital. “Your contact can track Doug’s phone but not hack into Chimney’s?”

If they're already stepping all over the lines of legality, why not more?

“Figured it'd take longer,” he tells her, both of them getting into her car before he presses the button on his phone and the sound of ringing reaches them.

It's only two rings before someone picks up.

“Did you get the number I sent you?” Buck asks immediately.

In one of the most deadpan voices she's ever heard, the man on the other side of the line says, “I'm doing fine. How about you?”

“Hound-”

“It's not like you haven't been in contact in the last four years-”

“-you're on speaker.”

A beat of silence passes. “Oh. You couldn't have started with that?”

Athena finally snorts at the back and forth between Buck and this mysterious contact of his. “Sargeant Athena Grant. Pleasure.”

“Admiral Collins but everyone calls me Hound. Nice to make your acquaintance Sergeant Grant. I've heard a lot about you.”

Athena looks over at Buck who shakes his head at her. “Good things, I hope.”

“Definitely. And if Pup is working with you, I’m sure he can find his sister.”

“Well, we could if you'd track the number I gave you,” Buck snips.

“What do you kids say these days? Chill out? That's what you need to do, Pup. I'm working on it. And you better be glad you've retired because just because you've been promoted-”

“In name only.”

“-doesn't mean you can order me around.”

She expects deference from Buck, an apology for speaking out as she feels is expected in the military. Instead, he rolls his eyes. “Yeah, whatever.”

“Do you want me to tell the good Sergeant about the time you accidentally got-”

Now Buck looks a little panicked but she can tell that some of the tension has gone from around his edges. “Nope.”

“Or maybe the heart eyes-”

“Hound.”

“Sergeant Grant, those eyes he made at one of the guys in the Army? That was embarrassing.”

Athena doesn’t even need a second to think about who that could be. “If you're talking about Eddie, I’m not surprised. They make those at each other every day the married lovebirds that they are.”

Buck looks mortified.

“I knew it!” Admiral Collins - Hound - roars.

“You knew when I reenlisted!” Buck reminds him. “You were the one who put him on my papers as a beneficiary and emergency contact!”

“Well, I didn't know if you would actually marry the man. And now that you've reminded me, you've really got to stop calling for my help.”

“Whatever. Just help me track down Doug.”

Buck's phone dings with a notification. “Just did.”

He shows Athena the map, the red dot signaling Doug's- and hopefully Maddie's - location heading east-northeast.

“Is there anything else you can tap into with his number?” Buck asks as she immediately pulls away from their parking spot and onto the road.

“Sorry, Pup. The guy’s smart. It's a prepaid phone. The only thing it's associated with is the carrier.”

Athena sighs. Of course, they have a smart kidnapper. She'd be impressed if it wasn't for the fact Doug has one of their own.

“Thanks, Hound.”

“Anytime, Pup. And don't forget about little ol’ me okay? I don't want the next time I hear from you to be another request for help.”

“Alright, alright.”

“And if you don’t, I will tell the Sergeant about the time-”

“Alright! Bye!”

Athena raises a brow at the quick way Buck hangs up the phone and a quick glance in his direction reveals the kid's face obviously reddening even in the limited lighting in the car.

But Buck's less tense now, the hard lines that he was sporting before the call having softened.

Maybe that's what the admiral was going for.

Admiral huh…

She didn't get that much information about Buck from the call, but it definitely taught her several things.

For one, Buck had reenlisted, and, if she's piecing this together correctly - which she thinks she is - that was probably four years ago.

Four years. And he hadn't married Eddie then though they knew each other. But it sounds like they were already together, so why would Buck reenlist? Why did he pull out in the first place?

In her thoughts, she almost misses it when Buck says, “Hound was the one who recruited me for the SEALs.”

Athena nods to let him know she's listening. “He had just been promoted and told he was going to lead a platoon soon. Then, he just happened to come across me and liked me enough to ask me to join them I guess. He didn't mind that I was a newbie. He helped me because he saw the potential I had, and he made the entire experience so much more bearable. I mean, the other guys were great, but Hound was something else. He taught me a lot, including how to anchor myself so it's easier to turn the emotions back on.”

Buck lets out a sigh so big, so sad that it makes her heart hurt for him. “Back then, I anchored them to Maddie. Even though she had her own life, I came back for her. And she was still one of them when I re-enlisted. But a lot has happened since and she wouldn't be now. She isn't.”

There is a lot to unpack there, but Athena pushes her curiosity to the side in favor of patience.

“Maybe if I hadn't pushed her away-”

“It's not your fault Buck,” she says before he could go down that line of thought. “This is no one's fault but Doug's.”

“But what if I could have stopped Doug? Persuaded him to leave Maddie alone?”

Athena grimaces. “I don't think that would have been likely.”

He doesn't seem to get the message though, running a hand down his face when Athena looks over again.

“I just didn’t know he could be so…brutal. I mean, kidnapping? Stabbing Chimney with the intention of killing? He’s a surgeon. He took the Oath.”

And she had a niggling feeling before, but this? This confirms it.

Buck doesn't know.

But is it her place to talk about it?

And why hadn't he realized? Surely, someone as observational and as smart as Buck could put the pieces together.

But something had happened between them. Something that made Buck not attach himself to her. Something that made him essentially reject his sister.

Something big happened.

“Buck,” she says slowly and calmly, making her mind up. He needs to at least know that persuading Doug out of taking Maddie was impossible. He needs to know that Doug would have stopped at nothing to get Maddie under his thumb again. She wouldn't tell him directly, of course, but she would guide him around the obstacles in his way of seeing the whole picture.

That's what mothers do, after all. They nurture. They provide.

They guide.

“Sweetie, I think you’re more observational than that,” In the corner of her eyes, he sees her frown, so she nudges him along a little more. “It may be best if you take a step back from your feelings about your sister and look at the whole picture that way.”

They fall silent, and Athena chooses to focus on the road, only sparing an occasional glance at the kid beside her. It might be a quiet time of night - she doesn't even have to turn the sirens of her borrowed cruiser on to make good leeway on Doug's location - but there's no need for them to get into an accident.

It's also because of the silence that she hears the realization.

“He abused her,” Buck whispers. “He abused her.”

She hums, a soft acknowledgment and confirmation, as she lets him have some time to process.

“I didn’t…I didn't know.”

She takes a hand off the wheel, laying it on his arm to give him whatever comfort she can.

“I know, Buckaroo. People like Doug, they're good at making that part of themselves invisible. Most people probably never know. That's why so many of them get away. And I don't know all the details nor will I ask, but I have a feeling she kept the details from you on purpose. She didn't want you to know.”

“I still should have seen it!” he protests. “She…Maddie raised me. I should have…I should have seen the tells.”

“And she would have known you'd see them.” She gives his arm a squeeze as things slot into place in her mind, a blurry timeline of the Buckley siblings forming. “You were young, Buck. You couldn't have known. Not for sure. Then you had your own life to live and now you even have your own family. This is not on you.”

“She’s family too.”

“And she always will be.”

They fall into silence once again, Athena keeping an arm on the middle console so she can pat the kid's arm as he takes time to process everything. She knows what it's like to have completely misunderstood someone, especially someone you're close to, and the kidnapping is probably not helping with everything going on in his brain. Everything is probably turning his world upside-down.

“Do you think we'll find her?” he asks in a low voice, sad and regretful.

“We will,” she tells him. “My gut is telling me to not count your sister out just yet.”

She thinks about the first time she met the woman and learning how she left her abusive husband. She remembers the quiet resilience and determination lining her as she declared she was going to stop running.

“Maddie didn't just rebuild her life. She rebuilt herself.” Because that's the only thing Aathena can think of to describe it. The courage Maddie had to leave and then settle somewhere rather than keep on running. The determination she had when she filed her divorce papers. “Doug may have her, but I don't think he has any idea who he's dealing with now.”

A glance to the side has her seeing the earnest, grateful expression on his face. “Alright. We'll find her.”

And in the following silence inundated with determination, she can't help but think that, honestly, she may miss the starry-eyed hero-worship a little bit, but she prefers talking to and interacting with Buck like this a lot more.

Like a mother and a son.

Chapter Text

The past two or three hours have Buck's mind in turmoil.

Finding Chimney bleeding out on the ground at Maddie's place.

Not finding Maddie because she was kidnapped.

But the conversation with Athena he had?

That was what turned his already chaotic thoughts into turmoil and turned his world upside-down.

Abused? Maddie?

He…he doesn't know if his brain has actually wrapped around that fact despite it logically making sense.

Because even as a teen, Buck had always thought Doug was off. He was too.. possessive. He always wanted to know where Maddie was. He was commanding and controlling, and Maddie always did what he asked without question.

She always wore long sleeves, too, he remembers now. At one point, it just…happened and Buck never really questioned it.

Why would he? Maddie was his big sister, his protector. Maddie always seemed to know what's best. She could take care of him and herself. She was tough and strong.

Big sister Maddie was everything to Buck, and, somewhere along the line, he failed her.

He swallows around the lump in his throat, Athena's pats on his arm grounding him but not easing the heavy weight of the past several years.

Is Doug why she made it seem like she stopped caring for him? Is that why she only ever sent him one care package? Is it why she never responded to his postcards and letters? Is it why she never came when he needed her the most? Is it why she asked never to be contacted again?

He thinks he knows the answer to those questions now, and it makes him regret pushing his sister away.

All she had wanted to do was make it up to him despite her actions - or lack thereof - probably stemming from the bad situation she was in rather than her truly wanting to.

And knowing what he does now, how could he blame her? She was probably fearing for her own well-being and maybe even her life on a daily basis.

Buck can't be angry at her for that. She never had to make it up to him.

But he pushed her away regardless, his obliviousness and anger at being abandoned by who should've been his fiercest protector blinding him to the obvious.

He'll make it up to her. At the very least, they'll talk and go from there

They have to find Maddie first, though, but he refuses to do anything but believe in Athena when she says to not count his sister out just yet.

They will find Maddie.

They have to.

Athena has to be right else he go crazy.

“We're almost there, Buckaroo.”

He looks over at his phone, the dot showing their location getting closer and closer to the red dot that hopefully indicates Doug's.

But…why is it moving west now?

Did Doug change his mind about where to go?

Why?

Regardless…

“He’s armed,” he finds himself saying, hand gripping his handgun.

Athena nods, solemn. “Yes. We best be ready for him. And with Maddie as a hostage…”

“Yeah,” he concurs, doing calculations in his head. His handgun is really meant for self-defense only, something he bought for absolute emergencies, and it’s been a while since he’s had to shoot anything. ”I could get him from a distance. Not far. Probably 25 yards max, but I can do it.”

”Let’s see what we’re dealing with first. Because I don’t think Doug will be driving a cargo truck.”

He looks up at the road, squinting at the lights ahead, and, yeah, that is not the lights of a car.

Fuck.

“Doug must have abandoned his phone. Led us away from him.”

”I’m afraid I might have to agree with you, Buckaroo,” she sighs, speeding up to cut the truck off in front. “But let’s see what we’re dealing with first. There might still be a lead that will let us find Doug.”

And there is.

Sorta. Hopefully.

“Did you have to get that detective to help?” He asks, a bit petulant, getting back into the car. They’re going to be heading east again to a gas station the truck driver had stopped at and saw a couple in. Unfortunately, because it is a solid lead, Athena called the detective from earlier - Marks, according to Athena - so that he could document everything. “He’s not really competent, is he?”

The sergeant huffs at him, and he shrinks away instinctively, worried about upsetting the woman who is quickly becoming the mother he never had. But instead of scolding him, she sends him an amused grin. “He has the job for a reason, Buckaroo.”

He…did not expect that reaction, but it makes a part of him - the playful and rebellious part of him - want to push and see if there's a limit to how much he can get away with. “He missed the obvious.”

“The obvious that was not based on evidence.”

“Evidence that was sitting on the ground.”

Athena sends him a playful look, a gleam in her eyes. “That had to be subpoenaed.”

“Which would have taken too long.”

“Kid, why do I have a feeling you like pushing boundaries?”

Buck grins. “It’s part of my charm.”

“That’s how you got Eddie to fall for you?”

“More like irritated the hell out of him.”

Athena laughs, easing some of the tension Buck had about the whole ‘my sister got kidnapped and was abused but I never knew it’ situation. It's still there, a dark cloud above his head, but it's no longer a thundercloud, lightning threatening to strike him at any moment.

And it makes him want to talk.

“Granted, his first impression of me was of me talking back at Hound for some stupid comment he made about me during introductions.”

“You didn't.”

“Hey, I knew Hound's limits! I learned them through a lot of trial and error! And it was only a casual introduction! He didn't mind at all!”

“But Eddie did.”

Buck grins, thinking back on those early days when Eddie had absolutely no idea how to deal with him and hated him for it. “He was more uptight back then. Followed the rules to the tee. So he didn't really appreciate me coming in like a tornado and making everything less orderly.”

He hums. “Though he wasn't the only one. My team didn’t like me all that much because of it for months. Months, Athena. And guess what? They liked Eddie in hours. How unfair is that?”

Buck is totally not still a little upset about how that had happened. Absolutely not. Who wouldn't like his husband as soon as he started talking?

He wonders if Maddie would like Eddie or if she'd give him the obligatory shovel talk.

Ugh, the thunderclouds are back.

But it seems like Athena caught on to his mood, changing the subject to her early days in the LAPD, and Buck sits back for the handful of minutes it would take to get to their next destination to listen to her story, letting it roll over him and keeping the clouds at bay.

Until they arrive at the gas station and find a dead man.

=========================

Goodness, this is getting worse and worse, Buck thinks, twenty minutes later. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) Marks and his team arrived ten minutes ago having been following Buck and Athena not long after they left the hospital as Athena's precautionary backup plan.

Unfortunately, Buck's not sure how much help they'll be.

Because Doug killed a man and the surveillance he and Athena were looking through before Marks got here gave them nothing to go off of.

If Doug isn’t sticking with the speed limit - which Buck thinks will be the case - they could be anywhere by this point. The truck driver from earlier had said the sedan had left probably 10-20 minutes before he did because he was stopping for a mandatory break, taking a call, and watching some YouTube with his earbuds in. Now, with the twenty minutes they spent here trying to figure out where they could have gone, that brings the total time they’re behind by at least 30 minutes.

And the question is: what else will Doug do?

What could he have done in these last 30 minutes?

“Best we can guess, she went out the back window, husband catches her. The cashier sees something wrong. Goes to help. Winds up getting shot with his own gun,” Marks says.

“Probably figured he could handle it on his own.”

He misjudged Doug so badly. He's not just possessive and controlling. He's crazy. He's insane.

How could he have missed it for so long? How could he have-

Athena's hand on his shoulder snaps him back to the present.

Right. Find Maddie first.

“Is there anything you found?” he asks. “Because the cameras only got the pumps and the register and things just got a lot worse for Maddie. She's with a killer with a gun.”

Marks is definitely not impressed with Buck's statement of the obvious, opening his mouth to say something when an officer walks up to them.

“Sir.”

Buck doesn’t even wait before snatching the papers the officer is holding out and scanning them despite Marks’s barely restrained protests.

It’s a rental agreement.

And judging by the aborted ‘help’ on it, it was Doug’s.

Maddie.

Maddie left them something.

But it’s an older vehicle, unlikely to have some sort of connected electronics to tap into, and rental car companies usually don’t have a GPS in their cars.

However…

“He’s not that stupid, is he?” he mutters to no one in particular. But if Doug was trying to lay low and didn’t realize-

“Okay, I’ve got an APB going out in a bit,” Athena tells them.

Wait. What?

“That would alert him we’re on his tail, though.”

”But if he’s anywhere near people, we’ll get to him a lot faster.”

Marks snorts. ”It’s not like you have his location anyway. Car rental companies don’t put GPS locations on their cars. Too expensive.”

Buck gives Athena a look, trying to convey the ‘you sure he’s competent?’ through eye contact only. “Most of them don’t.”

“But if you’re Bob and you only have 12 cars in your fleet, you might want to know where they are at all times,” Athena adds for him, looking at her phone with the company name pulled up.

”It’s not a might,” He tells her, recalling his time perusing rental cars when his Jeep had to be in the shop for a week following his and his husband’s move to L.A. This particular company rents them out cheaper than their competitors, but in the teeny, tiny font, they do admit to having- ”They do have GPS location.”

That’s why people need to read the damn fine print.

=======================================================

With Hound’s assistance - Buck really owes his old officer big time for this one - they were on the road towards the sedan’s location within ten minutes, speeding east then south towards the dot located in Big Bear with Marks and a few other officers behind them.

But this time, there was no story to alleviate the tension, both of them too aware of the current situation to do anything other than focus.

Doug is armed twice over. A knife and a gun.

The Oath means nothing to him if he shot and killed a man. He’s dangerous and will stop at nothing to get Maddie back under his thumb.

Most importantly, the rental car’s location hasn't moved in at least ten minutes.

But why? It doesn’t make sense for him to just stop only a hundred miles from where he took Maddie. Could he have changed vehicles? Doug’s so far gone he’d probably kill someone for another car, especially if he saw the missing person/kidnapping alert that got put out.

Is that it? Did he kill someone else?

Will he kill Maddie?

Buck feels like ice has seeped into his veins at the thought.

He wants his sister back safe. He wants to sit down with her and talk about the last few years. He wants to apologize to her for never realizing the situation she was in and helping her. He wants to make up for lost time. He wants to be a proper family with her again.

Because even though he might be married now and can depend on his husband for everything, it’s always going to be the Buckley siblings against the world. His anger had never fully changed that, never fully changed the love he has for the sister who raised him.

But Maddie doesn’t know that. Heck, he didn’t know that until he realized he may never see his sister alive again.

“We’re almost there, Buck,” Athena says in a low voice after a while.

The dots on his phone glare at him in the darkness, confirming Athena’s statement. “Yeah. Guns ready?”

”Better safe than sorry.”

The moment he saw the sedan, though, he knew they were clear.

Fuck.

“Of course,” Marks sighs from behind them. “You don't reckon he checked into one of the nearby cabins, do you?”

Buck gives the detective an incredulous look. “You think Doug would check into a cabin?”

“Buck,” Athena warns.

He doesn't pout. He definitely doesn't. “Fine.”

He promised Bobby he would listen to Athena, so he'll do that. She probably knows these people more than he does anyway.

But it doesn't stop him from texting Hound even as they make their way towards the management building.

He’s really going to own his old officer big time for this one.

=========================

“Who the fuck are you?”

Buck rolls his eyes at Marks's comment, scanning the tablet in his hand. Hound - who had been keeping an eye on the GPS signal of the sedan as well - had miraculously pulled off a big one for him, sending out some top-grade equipment that allows them to scan for life in the dark from the air via the latest thermal and infrared technology even before they got to Big Bear. The area is huge, though, so he and the backups Hound sent have been meticulously scanning their devices with a keen eye.

“Firefighter Evan Diaz,” he says automatically.

He can feel the eyes on him briefly before they disappear, but only one is brave enough to say, “The Admiral said you're Chief-”

“Retired. And in name only.”

He has no time to hash out his not-rank with anyone right now, especially because there are way too many spots with life, some near the cabins that are occupied but many farther away. Even disregarding the spots that are obviously wildlife, there are still too many. If Doug and Maddie aren't one of them…

There's only one way to tackle them all as soon as possible. “Athena, we're gonna have to spread out.”

The sergeant hums, looking at a tablet herself. “I agree,” she concurs, turning to start sending people off.

While she's doing that, Buck decides to head off as well. It's probably not what Bobby had in mind, but time is of the essence.

Besides, he has a feeling about the location he's heading to, and discretion might be the best way to go.

He will get his sister back.

But his plan for discretion goes out the window 500 yards or so out when one of the people the sensors are picking up runs out of a cabin, the other having a slow start but going after the first.

And he doesn't even have to think about it, rushing forward with adrenaline surging through his veins.

It has to be Maddie.

She’s trying to escape, and Buck will do whatever it takes to help her.

That's the least of what he can do for her. The least of what he owes her after not doing anything for her.

So he makes himself run as quickly as he can, but it doesn't seem fast enough, the sounds of gunfire echoing around him and making his heart shoot up into his throat.

He has to make it on time.

He has to.

And he does, arriving with two figures tussling in the darkness, but one look and he can tell who is who, and he tackles the one he knows is Doug.

For a while, everything seems to be a bit of a blur because he's angry. So angry. This is the man who hurt his sister. This is the man who made his sister leave her loved ones. This is the man who isolated his sister.

This is the man who took his sister away from him over and over and over again.

But, in the end, it doesn't matter if he remembers what he did because Buck wins out, pinning a rather bruised-up Doug onto the ground.

Justice will get him. Between domestic abuse and murder, he'll never see the light of day again.

“E-Buck.”

Buck looks up at his sister, the one he failed to protect and help for so long. “Madds.”

The old nickname spills from his lips, followed by, “I'm sorry.”

And because of that moment of weakness, his hold on Doug loosens for just a tad, but enough for the man - down but not out - to get the upper hand and flip them around.

Right. Emotions. That's why they turned them off.

But Buck doesn't feel panicked about the change because Doug might be an abuser, but he's no fighter. Buck isn't either, but he was trained to be one.

He doesn't get a chance to outmaneuver Doug, though, because some force has Doug's eyes suddenly bugging out before another has him falling on top of him, revealing Maddie holding what looks like a bloodied knife in her hands.

Well…

That was unexpected.

Buck pushes the probably dead man off of him, getting up in time for Maddie to get on her knees, reaching out to fuss over him.

“I’m fine,” he tells her. “I've had worse.”

And maybe he shouldn't have said that because she starts sobbing, the sound gut-wrenching and seemingly never-ending as she curls in on herself.

That reaction, he supposes, is expected.

Hesitantly, he wraps his arms around her, breathing a sigh of relief when she slumps into them.

And as he holds Maddie close as his sister sobs, he thinks this is where a chapter ends and one begins as they leave the fear and anger of their past behind.

Chapter Text

Buck doesn’t actually get to talk to Maddie properly until the sun rises. Between having to keep her awake on the ambulance, his post-adrenaline crash that overrode even his tumulus mind, the doctors giving her a full examination, and visiting hours being over, there just wasn’t a chance to have a conversation they both desperately needed, Buck in particular.

But it’s over now. His husband texted him to say Chimney made it out, the transfer papers for Maddie had been processed, and all they had to do was wait for the arrangements to be finished.

So with enough nerves to fill the Pacific Ocean, Buck walks into Maddie’s hospital room.

Even when the door closes behind him, though, it’s awkwardly tense, and he finds himself unable to say anything even when Maddie looks at him with wide, surprised eyes.

”You’re still here,” Maddie whispers, awed, after a moment passes.

Buck shrugs, feeling unsettled. Did she really think he would leave after the night she had?

Well…after the cold shoulder he had been giving her…

”Uh, yeah. Figured you could use some company.”

”You didn’t have to. You probably want to go home to your husband.”

”Well, it wouldn’t have been that different anyway. They were waiting for news on Chimney, and now they’re waiting to see him.”

Maddie’s wide eyes turn hopeful. “He’s alive?”

”What? Yeah. Just got out of surgery a while ago.”

“Oh, thank God,” she breathes, looking like a weight got lifted off her. “I thought…”

”Well, it was pretty close. Guess it was lucky I went to talk to you.”

His sister looks like he just handed her the whole world, and it makes his stomach churn with guilt. ”You were-you wanted to talk to me?”

He nods, hesitantly sitting himself down onto the plastic, uncomfortable, hard hospital chair. “I did. I uh…”

God, how does he even go about this without making it seem like he blames her? Because he doesn’t blame her. Not at all. Maddie was in a tough situation that made her scared to ask for help.

He only blames himself for not seeing it sooner.

Much sooner, probably.

“I’m sorry,” he decides. “I’m so sorry.”

And because she will always be the sister, the one who knows him best besides his soulmate, she probably senses what’s coming next. “Buck-“

He leans forward, putting his hands on the thin mattress, insistent. ”No. I should have seen it. I should have helped you. But I didn’t. Then I doubted you and-“

”I didn’t want you to know.”

Her no-argument tone stops him in his tracks, the instinct still there despite the years it’s been since she’s had to use that on him.

Her hand comes up to cup his cheeks, and he finds himself struggling not to cry under the guilt eating at him and his frustration with himself. “I didn’t want you to know, Evan.”

”But I still should have-“

”Evan.”

He withers under her gaze, feeling like a child all over again.

“You were still so young. There was no use in telling you. And I couldn’t worry you. I’m your big sister. I’m supposed to take care of you, not the other way around.”

”I would’ve helped,” he tells her. “It was supposed to be us against the world. I would have helped. Maybe not when I was twelve, but when I was eighteen? When I was twenty? I would have helped, Maddie.“

“I know. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want to - I couldn’t - drag you into it. What Mom and Dad hated. What you saw even as a kid…it got worse. And I was-I was scared about what would happen if I told you, if I ran away and found you for help.”

“I wouldn’t have left you to deal with it alone.”

”I know, but it was better that way.”

Buck sniffs. That’s so unfair. “Is that why…is that why you didn’t come?”

Maddie lets out a shaky breath, removing her hand from his face to card it through his hair instead, her expression regretful, tears in her eyes. “I wanted to go see you. I promise. I wanted to be by you. I wanted to see how you were doing myself. Because when I first got the news you went missing, I…I couldn’t stand the idea of you being gone.”

”But I…I couldn't drag you into it. He was getting more violent, and I didn't know what he would do. Not to me. Not to you. And I didn’t- I didn’t want to make anything worse. I didn’t want to worry you when you were already hurt. So I…”

“Cut yourself off,” he fills in when she trails off.

“Yeah. I thought…I thought for sure you'd send something. Anything. At least that way I’d know you’re okay. But then you didn't, and I-I thought you were dead. I thought my baby brother was dead. I was…”

She swallows hard. “I was devastated. I raged against every higher power out there for taking you away from this earth. I wished I could go back in time to see you one last time. And then, in the last year before I left, he threatened to kill me. So I thought…what do I have to lose? I just wanted answers. I wanted to know what happened, if you were alone at the end, if it was painful for you, if- So I left to find them.”

He gulps, taking his sister’s hand in his and giving it a squeeze. After the incident, he had been so hurt and angry that Maddie hadn’t shown up that he didn’t even bother sending her a note saying he was okay in those moments when his head had been somewhat clear of the depression that was drowning him.

But he should’ve. Sure, it might have been part of the reason why she left Doug, but she didn’t deserve to grieve for him when there was nothing to grieve, when he had failed her so badly.

Besides, how hard would it have been? Just one little measly note. It’s the least he owed her after everything his sister had done for him. After every scratch she patched up, after every story she read him, after every cup of cocoa she made, after she-

“Wait, the Jeep-“

Maddie had given him the Jeep. He had gone to visit her when he got sent back stateside after his first deployment, only to find out she had gone on a ‘second honeymoon’, but all he got was her coworker handing him the keys to her Jeep, saying it was a present.

He had been upset that he had probably just missed her, but there was nothing he could do. She hadn’t been due back for another two weeks, and he already had been itching to head down to El Paso and-

He hadn’t waited, telling himself he’d visit again when he had the chance.

Which he never got.

”I wanted to give you something. How could I not? My baby brother made it through his first deployment.”

”Were you-were you even on your second honeymoon?”

His sister grimaces, confirming the rolling dread in his stomach. “I got your letter. Wanted to take a day off to spend with you, but he…he didn’t approve. Threatened me if I did.”

Buck blanches. That’s how bad it was at that point?! That was-that was years ago!

”And you still gave me the Jeep?”

He can’t imagine Doug being okay with that.

“You needed a ride of your own. And it probably would have been worse if he found out I talked to you.”

He swallows around the lump in his throat. She’s done so much for him, and he still- He hadn’t-

“I‘ll-I’ll make it up to you,” he promises. “I’ll definitely make it up to you.”

“You don’t need to, Buck.”

”But-“

”You came, didn’t you? Even when you haven’t forgiven me, you came for me.”

”There’s nothing to forgive,” he tells her, not missing the present tense she used, “And I barely even did anything. It was all Hound. He was the one who tracked the phone and the car and sent those drones out and-“

”But your old officer wouldn’t have done all of that if you hadn’t asked. If you hadn’t cared enough for me to go find me.”

It comes as a shock to him that she knows, that she remembers. He hadn’t mentioned Hound in his letters since his first deployment, and he hadn’t…he knew she got them, but he hadn’t known she had read them and found them important enough to remember the details.

She gives him a sad smile, probably reading his expression. “I did read them. Every one of them.”

”I didn’t…I’m sorry, Maddie. I’m so sorry. I didn’t…I doubted you.”

”It’s all in the past now, little brother. All we can do is move forward, so how about we do that together?”

Buck pouts. That’s such a fair point that it’s unfair.

Making up his mind, though, he shoots his hand up, berating himself when the action makes Maddie flinch, with his pinky outstretched.

“Promise?”

“What are you? Six?”

But regardless of her comment, she hooks her pinky with his, and Buck feels something settle in his chest.

Chapter Text

If Eddie has to be honest, he didn’t think Shannon’s first solo interaction with Christopher would be today. He and his husband had talked about doing it in stages, first by having all of them together, then one of them, and then maybe giving Shannon an hour alone with Christopher and building up from there.

But, alas, he also didn’t think his love’s estranged sister would be kidnapped by her ex-husband after said ex-husband stabbed one of their coworkers several times.

He sighs. What a night it’s been.

At least everyone is safe now.

His beloved had called in the early hours of the morning, telling him they had found Maddie alive, Doug was dead, and that he was going to stay with her until she could get transferred in the morning.

But there’s anxiety in his gut. The way his partner had sounded on the phone…

There’s something troubling him, something weighing on his mind.

Eddie knows it like the back of his hand.

By the time the summary of the events leading up to saving Maddie got finished, though, his soulmate had been tired, voice slow and soft, all early indications of one of his husband's post-adrenaline crashes, so he had urged his love to get some sleep.

Eddie will talk to him when they get home, in private.

For now, he's going to have to deal with Shannon.

Alone, because his partner’s not due to be here for another two or three hours, depending on how fast the transfer gets arranged.

God, he hopes he’s not too tired to stop himself from getting too defensive at her.

At least it shouldn't be a long interaction. They should be able to see Chimney any moment now, so he can use that as an excuse to get away if need be.

But that's for later. Now, he's waiting for Shannon to arrive with Christopher, staring in the direction they would be entering from, like that would get them to appear. It wouldn't, of course, but she’s only supposed to get breakfast with him before dropping him off, so they should be here any moment.

Speaking of the devil…

“Daddy!” Christopher, mindful of his volume but excited, exclaimed, clambering over.

“Morning, mijo,” he says with a smile, planting a kiss on top of those curls that have an uncanny resemblance to his husband's despite the lack of biological factor.

“Where's Papa?”

Oh, good to know who's the priority here, he thinks with immeasurable fondness.

“He'll be here in a few hours.”

“Okay,” the child says mulishly. “I saved him a cronut. And a bear claw.”

“Did you?”

“He did.”

Shannon walks up to them, and a doughnut box with a smaller container on top of it is in her hands. “He wasn't sure what to get you, though.”

Christopher's nose scrunches up. “Daddy has too many favorites.”

“I do not.”

Which, okay, may be a little bit of a lie. Kinda.

He likes his chocolate doughnuts, his jelly doughnuts, and his Boston creme doughnuts, but he is also pretty partial to strawberry-covered doughnuts and a recently discovered ube doughnut from a niche little bakery that's to die for.

That's only five, and it’s not like he has a hard time choosing sometimes.

Even Shannon looks skeptical at the seven-year-old's statement, giving Chris the small box and opening the big one for Eddie to choose from.

And oh, what a selection.

He skips over the glazed and plain automatically, Then-

One of his top three and his absolute favorite when made right.

Chocolate doughnuts with sprinkles. Colorful, round, crunchy sprinkles.

Eddie reaches for it immediately and takes a bite out of it, barely holding in a moan when the right amount of crunch hits him with the best proportion of chocolate goodness.

Perfect. The perfect way to start the day after a whirlwind of a night.

Well, maybe not quite perfect. If only his beloved is here…

And now his son is giggling at him.

“Told you Daddy would pick that one,” Christopher says between giggles, obviously directed at Shannon. “He never picks the glazed.”

Wait. What?

Actually, what was he thinking? His son would have seen him pick chocolate with round sprinkles multiple times. His son has been on doughnut runs. Of course, he'd know Eddie's preference.

They must have had a disagreement on what Eddie would pack and decided to let him do it, something that he's more certain of when he catches Shannon's incredulous, bewildered expression.

“What?” he snaps, hackles raised. Look, he’s getting better at not being so defensive around Shannon, but it’s not 100% better yet, and having been up all night will do that to him, chocolate doughnut or no.

And, maybe, he's just waiting for the other shoe to drop. For her to decide that he isn't enough, that the family he has now isn’t enough. For her to decide she wants to take Christolher with her and leave.

“Nothing,” she tells him. “You just never…I thought you liked glazed.”

Eddie looks at the chocolate doughnut with sprinkles in his hand, wondering when he had liked glazed doughnuts.

But ‘Old Eddie’ definitely did, didn’t he? Years ago, before his husband stormed into his life and turned it upside down.

No, his love didn’t turn it upside-down. He turned it right-side up. He coaxed Eddie out into the sunshine. He taught him he could be himself - that he could love himself - and still be loved. He showed him other possibilities that he had never dared think about. He let him know he could want what he wants.

Even if that means a lot more sweets than he should be eating.

“I never liked glazed too much,” he admits. He prefers the fruity or chocolate ones. Glazed doughnuts are too…simple. Normal. Common.

It’s funny how it reflects his life. When he chose glazed, he was still trying to fit into the mold his parents wanted him to. Wife. Children. Man of the house.

He was trying to fit into their heteronormative mindset.

But now? When he chooses chocolate covered with sprinkles? When everything is 120% better? When he's 120% happier?

Yeah. Chocolate with colorful sprinkles indeed.

“Oh.”

Shannon looks like she’s contemplating something, and Eddie finds himself tense, the urge to pace from nerves bubbling and only not overspilling because Christopher is right there, looking at the doughnut box with interest even though he knows his son had to have had one already. Then, she smiles genuinely, sending Chris off to pass doughnuts around before turning to him.

“You’ve changed a lot.”

He shakes his head. “No. I think I just took off the mask.”

At this, her smile grows. “I'm happy for you. It might not have been under the best circumstances, but I'm glad I left. I'm glad it gave you the space to take your mask off. You're a lot happier now than you were back then.”

Eddie finds himself unable to say anything, a lump stuck in his throat, because she seems so earnest. The truth and honesty in her words rock his soul, sinking into his bones.

“The family you have now? It's beautiful, Eddie. More beautiful than we could have ever done. And I'm glad it turned out that way, that Christopher gets to grow up and thrive in a happy family.”

And oh.

She- Shannon really never meant to take Christopher away, did she?

“Babe!”

Even with his mind being stuck in that sudden realization, he automatically seeks out the sound of that beloved voice like a sunflower in the sun, grinning in surprised relief when his partner makes a much earlier than expected appearance.

“Hey, cariño,” he says after a soft kiss from the love of his life, probably looking like a lovestruck maiden like usual (Adriana's words, not his). “That transfer didn't take long, did it?”

“Figured I’d call in one more favor. We owe Hound at least a dozen dinners anyway.”

“Alright,” he agrees readily, looking his partner up and down, noticing a little bruising but nothing too serious. “You okay?”

His love gives him a happy, soft smile. “Yeah. I am. I really am.”

And, despite his earlier worry, Eddie knows it's true. Sometime between last night (or early this morning, depending on how one looks at it) and now, something has shifted. Something has made the invisible weight on his beloved's shoulder disappear.

It's not just his soulmate who seems to have a weight lifted, either.

Because as he watches Christopher happily give his partner the sweets he saved, Eddie feels it too.

Chapter Text

If anyone asks him if anything feels worse than being stabbed or getting a rebar through his head, Chimney would say no, and that would be the truth, at least in the ‘Shocking’ and ‘Grateful to Have Survived‘ categories.

But honestly?

Yes.

One, it doesn’t top the ‘Painful’ category. Shock factor aside, he knows pain. Pain of losing a brother and realizing he’d never have another moment with them would always be at the top of that list, and he’s thankful that he doesn’t have to add losing Maddie to it, as official-unofficial as they are.

(Silently, so far in his mind that there’s no way he can jinx it, he hopes he never has to add anyone to that list as long as he lives.)

Two, he’s just found it also doesn’t top the ‘Uncomfortable’ category despite the pulling of stitches, bed rest, etc.

Because he feels like a damn third wheel, and that is definitely a rather uncomfortable feeling.

Don’t get him wrong. Watching Buck wheel Maddie into his room and then proceeding to sit and chat with her after asking after him? If Maddie was beautiful before, she’s ethereal now, the happiness stemming from her brother talking to her - albeit a little bit stilted if Chim’s being honest - overflowing. Even with the injuries she has on her face doesn’t make it less so.

He just…

Why does he feel like a third wheel?

“-so we signed him up for surfing lessons. And you have no idea how many people give us the most judging looks when we tell them that. This is L.A. for goodness' sake! But it’s fine. As long as Christopher likes it, you know? And he loves it. No amount of scrutiny will make me pull him from those lessons.”

Maddie gives her brother one of her fond, soft smiles, the ones he wants to bottle up every time he gets one.

“I'm glad he has you.”

“I'm glad to have him. I love him so much, Maddie. That kid is such a little trooper. It's not possible to not get back on your feet watching him do it over and over again with a smile on his face.”

“You have to introduce me one day.”

“Yes. Definitely.”

He hears the hesitation as clear as day, so it's not surprising Maddie does too. “Whenever you want, okay? Besides, I think they're waiting for you.”

And, lo and behold, there's the other half of the Diaz Duo and their son, the former listening to the latter chatter on about something, both of them patiently standing outside his hospital room.

(Where he would really like to be but he might actually piss the nurses off if he even thinks about getting out of this bed.)

“Oh, yeah! I should go then,” Buck says, getting up with a quick goodbye and practically bouncing out the door, an action that has Maddie shaking her head fondly.

When they're out of sight, she turns to him apologetically. “Sorry, Chim. I asked about his family and-”

He laughs before he can help himself. “That's Buck for you. Eddie too. Can't shut up about each other and Christopher to save the day. Gets really into it, too.”

Maddie's smile drops a little. “He hasn't really talked about Eddie much. I'd be worried about it if you hadn't talked about them. I think he doesn’t want to rub it - his marriage - in my face when mine was…”

“Yeah. So he knows now?”

He hadn't understood - not truly at least - why she would keep the situation with Doug from Buck when she told him. But he respected it nonetheless, despite the raging desire to tell Buck about it.

Chimney figured she had her own reasons to keep it from him despite the chasm between them because, if there's one thing he knows for sure about Maddie, it's that she loves her brother.

(He's just so, so thankful for Buck's inability to shut up about his husband and son. God knows that's been his saving grace recently, even if he does have to sit through an hour of Buck's loving gushing.)

“Kinda hard not to when I get kidnapped and you get stabbed.”

And, with that, she sombers up, their situation catching up to her. She breathes out heavily, looking him over like it was the first time she’s seeing him, before getting out of her wheelchair to sit on his bed despite his protests, taking his hand in his.

Honestly, if the feeling of his heart swelling and skipping a beat is what it's like to like a Buckley, Chimney can only imagine what it's like to be in love with one.

(Eddie's constant heart eyes make so much sense.)

“How are you feeling?” Maddie asks.

“Starting to hate hospitals,” he jokes, sidestepping the answer she wants and drawing a chuckle out of her. Then, honestly, he adds, “But this is much better than a rebar. No coma, so…”

She squeezes his hand, and the little action coaxes out more than he would have given her otherwise.

“I thought…I really thought that…”

“Me, too,” Maddie says, exhaling shakily.

“You’re okay,” he reminds her.

“We’re okay.”

And the kiss that hammers that message in?

Well, he really can't blame Eddie for the heart eyes now.

Chapter Text

Buck should be relaxed. After everything last night, they had a calm day at the park - as calm as it can get with a seven-year-old at least - a nice lunch and even went to the movies before settling at home for dinner. And now Christopher is in bed, so he and his husband are taking some time to themselves, Buck's head cushioned on his love's thigh as they mindlessly watch a telenovela.

And the cherry on top? Talking things out with Maddie, forging a path for them to walk on and heal.

It's just…

He sighs, turning around to press his face into his partner's hip, the scent of home heavy in his lungs doing little to soothe his mind today.

His thoughts don't stop him from pressing into the hand starting to card through his hair, though, and, in the background, he hears the low voices on the telenovela, the combination usually enough to lull him into a doze.

Not today.

“Babe?” he murmurs after a while, the ‘Sophia’ he hears onscreen reminding him of the fact that his husband is an older sibling.

He would have talked about everything with his love anyway, but the reminder makes him want to do it more, do it now.

Because who can understand an older sibling better than another older sibling?

So when his beloved hums, brushing his thumb over Buck's birthmark, a silent ‘go on’, he asks, “Hypothetically - like this is super hypothetical and might not make sense - if you were in a relationship that sucked in every way possible, and you know you should get out of it but you can't so you tell your sisters it's fine even if they don't seem to believe it and pull away to make sure your story doesn't fall apart even if they resent you for pulling away, would you…blame them? For not realizing sooner? For resenting you for not telling them and pulling away?”

His partner's hand stills momentarily before it resumes its movement on his head. “Well, what Shannon and I got ourselves into didn’t suck in every way possible, but it was pretty close.”

Buck grimaces, turning so he's facing up. “Sor-”

“Hey, no. I know you. You didn't mean it to be about my situation with her. But, no, I never blamed them for not seeing it sooner. I may not have pulled away from them or thought about using some grand cover-up story, but it wasn't their job to wake me up and drag me around until I admitted it wasn't working. And if things had happened differently and I did pull away and lie to them, making them resent me, that would still be on me, too, no matter how bad they feel about never realizing afterward.”

There's nothing he could say to that, so he falls silent, thinking about his husband's words.

Does Maddie really not blame him? How could she not blame him? And, even if she doesn't blame him, how could he forgive himself for not seeing it and helping her?

But Maddie had wanted them to move forward. Maddie didn't want to look back on those years.

And while his love's dynamic with his sisters may not be the same as Buck's dynamic with Maddie, if what he's saying is true, then Maddie really doesn't blame him.

How?

Why?

“He abused her. Doug abused Maddie,” he whispers like it's a big secret.

It was. It still feels like it is with how it shaped the last few years.

His soulmate catches on to the problem immediately. “You shouldn't blame yourself, cariño. If she hid it on purpose, there's no way you would have known.”

“But I still should have. And I didn’t. I didn't help her out of a tough situation like I should have. I can't…I don’t even feel like I can talk about you, babe. Because I had this when times were tough. I had us. And now I have this marriage that I wouldn't trade anything for, a-and she…she didn't. She had none of it. She didn't even have me when she should have.”

His love breathes softly, cupping one of Buck’s cheeks, brushing a thumb under his eye. “That’s…yeah, that’s pretty sad when you put it that way, but you can’t put it on yourself. Maddie wouldn’t want you to, would she? So, how about you talk to Dr.Copeland about it? Push up your appointment a little.”

Buck pouts. Therapy had been going really well, too. Sure, he does them every month just in case something needs to be addressed, especially with the job, but they’ve been going fine. Dr.Copeland had even suggested he do them every other month or just book an appointment when he needs one.

But this is something he needs to talk about with her. He knows that. The therapist just has this way of rewiring his thoughts that no one else can, patiently unwinding each thought he has and making everything seem better, and Buck lets her, whether it’s because she’s a professional or because she’s helped him through his worst.

“I’ll reschedule it later.”

”How about now, cariño?”

He gives his best pleading face to his husband. “Later?”

”You’ll never fall asleep this way. Go send her an email to get an earlier appointment.”

”Please?” he tries again, adding in his best pleading eyes.

Buck watches as the love of his life huffs fondly at that, bending down uncomfortably to kiss him. “What about now?”

He just grins, whispering a “Okay” between them before putting his hand on the back of his love's neck to get another kiss.

And because if there's one thing he's learned these past 24 hours, it’s that he’s blessed, he tells - no, reminds - his partner, “I love you, Eds.”

There’s not a moment when he doesn’t know he’s loved, safe, and cherished. There’s not a moment when he questions whether or not he has loving arms to fall into, a place to call home, and a safe place.

It’s a lot more than what probably hundreds and thousands of people have.

His husband clearly understands what he means, giving him the most loving, fondest smile ever.

“Love you too, Ev.”

Chapter Text

Bobby knew something was amiss when he found Buck in the produce section, looking intently at a head of romaine lettuce in one hand and a clipboard in another.

A clipboard. For grocery shopping.

And Buck seems…tense. Not tense like a blade ready to strike, like when he found the kid at Maddie's after she was kidnapped, but tense like a rod of pure iron.

Intense. Unbending. Tight. Sturdy.

Any of those would fit Buck right now.

“Kid,” he says as he approaches, getting Buck's attention as the younger man puts down the lettuce with a huff.

“Hey, Bobby.”

Yeah. Something was definitely amiss.

He picks up the head of lettuce that was just placed down. They'd gone over the signs of a bad head a while ago, so he shouldn't question Buck's decision, but it looks pretty fresh. Crisp, firmly bunched, no signs of wilting. “What was wrong with this one?”

“Pink spots,” Buck says, like the lettuce personally offended him.

“You mean signs of natural oxidation?”

“It’s a bad head of lettuce.”

And it continues like that, Buck unbending about everything they come across, not letting anything in his cart unless it was absolutely perfect.

Even the pasta.

“It can't be thin spaghetti! It has to be spaghetti! And they're out of the ones I use!”

And Bobby has had enough.

“Okay,” he says, putting his foot down, plucking the clipboard out of Buck’s hand, watching as the kid deflates.

Huh. The clipboard?

It's a mystery for another day, but first, he has to address the crux of the issue. “I don’t think you have to be so worried about Maddie going over to your place, kid.”

Buck squints at him. “You know?”

“Is this about her visit?”

“No.”

Bobby gives him a pointed look.

“Did my husband tattle on me?”

“He had some concerns.”

Bobby's suspicion about the clipboard gets confirmed when Buck pouts and slumps over his cart, grabbing a pack of thin spaghetti to add to it. “It's nothing.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

As far as he knows, things were going well between the siblings, but maybe he missed something between the patchy updates he got from Chimney and Eddie these last three weeks.

Buck sighs. “I don't know. I talked to Dr.Copeland - that's my therapist if you don't remember - about it, but I guess…”

“You are not obligated to talk to me about it. This has nothing to do with work.”

Buck fiddles with the strap used to secure children in the cart as they slowly move forward to the meat section. “It's not that. It's just…When I first found out about the abuse, I didn't feel like I deserved to talk to her about my husband. I felt like I shouldn't talk about my husband. Because s-she didn't have one to love her like she deserves and I do.”

Bobby nods, catching on to the issue.

“And Dr.Copeland told me to take it one step at a time if I can't bring myself to believe that Maddie doesn’t mind me talking about my husband. And I have. I've texted her, I've called her, and I've visited her at the call center and at her home whenever I have the time. I've been talking to her so much I’m pretty sure my husband is getting a little jealous.”

“Of your sister?” Bobby asks incredulously, unable to help himself.

But Buck laughs good-naturedly at the comment. “I don't think he's used to my time being split between three people.”

Then he sighs. “But yeah. I've been talking to her, and I've gotten to the point that I can talk about my husband. But seeing it is different, you know? I just…I just got her back, Bobby. What if she sees my family and gets upset and doesn’t want to talk to me anymore because they're all I can talk about, and she can’t stand it because she never had that?”

There’s genuine concern in the kid’s voice, Bobby thinks as he carefully thinks about what to say next. He puts himself in Buck’s shoes, in Maddie’s. He thinks about the history between them that he knows about.

He thinks about listening to someone talk about a loving family when you don’t have one.

And maybe that’s the key.

“If you love someone, you don’t get upset about something they have that you don’t,” he tells Buck with conviction.

“How'd you know?”

“Because I never got upset with you and Eddie or Hen and Karen, did I?”

Buck freezes, looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights. “Bobby, I-”

“None of that, kid. I love you all enough that I can’t say I ever thought about stopping talking to you just because you have a happy family when mine’s dead.”

Especially now that he has Athena and another chance to have a family. But even before that, he never resented the kid for having such a beautiful, happy family. How could he when Buck had already wiggled under his skin and settled next to the spots in his heart reserved for Brook and Robert Jr.?

”Bobby…”

And, okay, he might have made the kid a little distraught, distressed, and touched at the same time.

“Kid, I don’t know Maddie. I don’t know what she went through. But I think the love she has for you is as strong as the love you have for her. And, if that’s the case, there’s no way on earth she would resent you or get upset that you’re happy. That you’ve been loved.”

Buck stays silent, and Bobby lets things simmer in his brain, hoping that he didn’t accidentally make things worse. But when a smile blooms on the kid’s face, posture more relaxed than it had been previously, he thinks he’s succeeded.

“Thanks, Pops,” the kid says gratefully as he reaches out for the filet mignon before backtracking to grab the ground beef instead.

Which is a fortunate thing since he's sure the filet mignon is not in his usual budget, and they haven't even gotten to the lessons about cooking steak yet, which probably wouldn't have helped whatever impression Buck was trying to make for his sister.

”Anytime, kid.”

“Do you think we can circle back to the produce then? I think salad is a safe option.”

“Of course. And maybe we can pick up a few more onions for you to practice on?”

Buck groans, and Bobby tries hard not to laugh at the kid’s misery about the prospect of cutting more onions.

Because, as it turns out, Buck is terrible at it. Bobby has taught him all the little tricks, but other than cutting it in water and wearing goggles, neither of which Buck likes, nothing has made Buck stop crying every time. It also doesn't help that he still hasn't quite gotten the cook time, often ending up having bitter, undercooked onions or soft, soggy overcooked ones.

It's a work in progress.

“Maybe after Maddie comes to visit. And Shannon's. Because we're having her come over to spend some time with Christopher while my husband and I go to catch a movie.” Then Buck stands ramrod straight, like when an idea just hits him. “Wait. Do you think it's the same with her? She'll be happy for Christopher, right? Because my husband seems settled about the idea of Christopher spending time with Shannon now, but now I’m unsettled.”

“Buck, I’m not a therapist.”

”But Pops-“

Bobby smiles, listening to this kid ramble on about Shannon and Christopher and how he's 99.9% sure Shannon won't resent them or take Christopher away because they are a happy family and Shannon loves Christopher enough to not take that away from him, and he thinks there's no thing he wants more than continue to alleviate his kid’s worries one advice at a time for years to come.

Chapter Text

Hen should have known it'd be a terrible day. Sure, she woke up on time, but then she tripped over a wayward bag on the floor, found out she forgot to get the peanut butter for Denny’s lunch, and got a slap of reality when she had to sit through Chim’s weird decluttering spur when she went to drop off some breakfast for him and he reminded her he has a lot of time to recover.

At least he’s feeling better and looking forward to going on a date with Maddie?

And she was happy for him, thinking that it was a sign that the day was looking up.

Then she got stuck behind a fender bender.

Yay.

So she had braced herself, telling herself that she can deal with working with someone else just a little longer and that it might not even be a bad day. Maybe it was just a bad start. And, if it is a bad day, she can face it with a good attitude.

Then she discovered a side of Buck that was honestly a little terrifying.

Scratch that.

It is terrifying.

“What’s happening?” she asks, horrified when she hears Buck - their golden retriever of a probie - being demanding, snapping out orders over inventory of all things?!

Bobby must have known something about it because Hen spies the barely suppressed, almost hidden laughter on his face. “I had to test something.”

Hen gives him an incredulous look, hearing Buck bark, “Why do I know these numbers more than you? We need six of those! Six! Not seven!”

Hell, no, she is not getting involved in that. “What did you unleash? SEAL Buck?”

“Oh, I don’t know, but I think Clipboard Buck has a nice ring to it, don’t you? And Eddie doesn’t seem to mind.”

Well, yeah, she thinks, even as she glances over at the other half of the Diaz Duo, looking around from where he’s cleaning the engine with love in his eyes for the monster that Bobby released upon the 118.

Actually, Eddie’s looking at Buck with a very-

Nope.

She refuses to go down that line of thought. She does not need to think of anything near the realm of two people who are essentially her brothers and any sort of bedroom activity.

Absolutely not.

“Please tell me you have something for me to do away from this,” she pleads.

“Well, you know the rules of the house. You’re late, the last job goes to you.”

Hen groans. She did forget about that.

“What is it?”

“Bathroom duty.”

She takes a fortifying breath. Alright. Cool. She will deal with that, she supposes. She will deal with that, and then they’ll have a peaceful shift. She can sit down with a good book, call her lovely wife when she's on her lunch break, and then go home after a day with only minor calls.

Then, of course, Bobby has to open his big mouth. “At least it can’t get any worse?”

And just like that, the day goes from bad to terrible.

Because the CAD system goes down less than two hours later, which spells chaos for the entire system.

Then they end up at the wrong location and almost lose a mother, followed by getting to Doheny Park where there was a gas main break that almost took down the entire neighborhood.

So yeah, lovely.

She sighs, leaning back against the seat of the engine. “Thank God, Chimney called in reinforcements.”

”Kinard, right?” Bobby asks.

“Yeah.”

“Wasn’t he the one I replaced?” Eddie asked as Buck fusses over him for ‘being reckless’.

“That’s the one,” she confirms. “Guess Chim remembered he flies a copter now.”

”Well, that’s cool and all,” Buck interrupts, completely uncaring for the conversation and how they got out of that relatively unscathed. “But can we talk about Eddie climbing up that place like Spider-Man? Without any safety gear?”

Hen guesses it’s fair. If it was her and Karen, she would be over her head in worry for her wife being possibly hurt.

Then, Buck adds to Eddie, “That was very cool, babe.”

She rolls her eyes. Okay, maybe he wasn't just worried.

“But I’m the one who’s supposed to be climbing in this relationship.”

And, normally, Hen wouldn't read so much into that comment. But her nerves are frayed after the day it's been, and the first thing that comes to mind is-

“Buck,” she snaps, chastising, as Bobby turns around from the front to give their probie a warning look.

Wide, blue eyes meet her, alarmed at the attention he’s suddenly getting for that comment. “What?”

She gives him a judging, incredulous look and watches as realization dawns upon him, mouth going circular and blush rising to his face as she realizes she read way too much into it. “No. I meant- Yes, that too, but I meant there was t-this one time when I had to climb home through a window and there was another time where I climbed up to get the cat for our neighbor and there was a time in the SEALs when I- b-but anyway, that’s not what I meant.”

“My husband has also taken to rock climbing,” Eddie adds with a fond look at Buck. “Though I prefer what you're thinking, Hen.”

“Eddie!”

Buck doesn't even say anything to that remark, hiding his face in Eddie's shoulder instead.

But Hen is traumatized now. She's sure of it. It'd only be worse if-

“So, is this a good time to say someone was pressing the call button when that conversation went down?”

Of course.

“And it is quite the public line, ladies and gentlemen. But all I will say is, I kinda envy that.”

Hen groans. She doesn't know him well, but she does know Josh Russo is gay. Of course, he'd want to have a say in this conversation.

“Also, Maddie is mortified.”

Yeah, she is too, biological sister or not.

She loves to learn more about their duo, but that was definitely not something she needed to know, thank you very much.

Chapter Text

Buck has been accused of many, many things in his life. Breaking the rules, cheating on tests, stealing the last piece of fancy bread, drinking the last bit of coffee, stealing a child's affection…

Okay, the last one is true. The one before that, too. And-

The point is, bank robbery? Not something he's been accused of. And he definitely didn't do it.

“‘Looks like our money trouble is over.’ Your sister sent you that after she dispatched your team to the site of the robbery.”

Buck bites back a snarky comment about even the smallest amount of money making it seem like all money troubles are gone in L.A., but he probably does not manage to rein in the incredulous look he gives them. “You know that could refer to a lot of things, right? Because she was talking about her landlord giving back her security deposit after giving her grief about it.”

It had been a safe conversation between them at the time, and Buck may or may not have combed through her rental agreement, highlighting several things before sending a very heavily worded email to her landlord about it.

Actually-

“I sent him an email about it if you don't believe me.”

“Oh, trust me, we'll check,” the man, Wash, says, flat and condescending, making Buck bristle.

But he calms himself. They did find the money in a 118 truck. They're just doing their jobs. He doesn't have to make any calls to get them out.

(Though he really, really wants to. What's another dinner to buy when he's already stacked them so high?)

“Your husband was the first to suggest it was a nerve agent.”

Buck rolls his eyes. “Yeah, because that’s in our training. How to spot it, how to respond.”

“Our?”

“So the number of classified information on your file means you were military as well,” the other detective, Mercer, guesses.

Buck bites his tongue. He probably shouldn't have said that.

“So two military-trained men. One with a sister in dispatch. Must have made the plotting easier.”

He scoffs. “This is ridiculous.”

“Is it?” Mercer asks. “I mean, 300 grand does solve a lot of problems. Like raising a kid.”

At that, Buck does get annoyed. Because dragging Christopher into it, no matter how inadvertently or indirectly?

Hell no.

“Look, you don't have to tell me that. I’m very well aware that it would solve a lot of problems. My kid’s surfing lessons cost $150 an hour, for crying out loud-”

Wash looks like they won something, opening his mouth to speak, but Buck barrels over him.

“-but my husband and I would never trade time with our son for anything. And what would compromise that? Getting thrown into jail because we thought 300 grand would be worth it.”

“If you thought you wouldn’t get caught-”

“No. There is no thinking we wouldn’t get caught because it's not worth it. Because when you've almost died before, you realize time is priceless. Time with your loved ones even more so. I'd give up 300 million, much less 300 grand, before giving up time I can have with my son and husband.”

And at the slightly stunned, flabbergasted expression on their faces, Buck thinks-

Buck:1, Asshole Detectives:0

=========================

It doesn't occur to him until the day after that the cops would come to their place to investigate.

And of course, it only occurs to him when they are already at the door with a search warrant.

Buck has nothing against cops, of course. Athena is one of his favorite people, and he knows they're just doing their jobs. But Mercer and Wash have already proven to be relentless, and he does not trust the two leading detectives of this investigation to tell everyone working on it to be nice.

So he's immediately on guard, regretting the decision not to make a single call that could at least get them through this nicely.

“Do not ransack my son’s room,” he warns, not letting them in until he puts down his bottom line down, standing up to his full height and unbudging in the doorway with his husband behind him, standing ominously silent, supportive, and it’s that unwavering support yet underlying knowledge of when to step in to rein in Buck giving him the confidence to do this rather reckless and probably very illegal threatening.

“I'm afraid you aren't in a position to tell us what to do, Mr.Diaz,” Wash informs him, chin up and defiant. “Move aside.”

“I will not until I have your word that my son’s room will look like a tornado blew through it because I am in a position to report you for not informing me that I was allowed a phone call when being interrogated yesterday.”

“Well, obviously, you knew and you didn't cash in on your rights. Can’t really blame it on us, can you?”

Buck grits his teeth, and he feels his partner go rigid behind him, quiet anger pouring out. “I will. And I will make a call right now if you can't respect a seven-year-old's room and privacy because I know you will ransack this place, and I will not let you mess with my son's stuff like that.”

The officers and investigators behind Wash look nervous now, eyes flickering between him and the detective, and Buck feels good at getting some factor of fear in them if he can't get someone more polite and patient to handle this case.

“Still have to let us in, Mr.Diaz. We have a warrant. If you don't, we can arrest you for obstruction of justice.”

“I’m not ignoring it. I’m just very tempted to make some calls to get a better team to search because you will not respect our property in your search for nonexistent evidence, and I will stand right here to do it.”

“And who do you think you are to even request that?”

”You might just find out why my file is classified for a reason.”

”Oh, he will.”

And just like that, Buck’s tension gets blown out the door, bleeding out of his entire body, before shock replaces the feeling.

Because that's-

“Hound!”

His old officer grins, walking up to the door and handing Wash his phone, looking exactly the same as he had when Buck had first met him almost nine years ago. “Someone wants to talk to you.”

“How come you’re here?” Buck asks excitedly, practically bouncing at seeing the first big brother figure he’s ever had being here, his love’s steadying hand the only thing stopping him from doing something absolutely embarrassing.

“Admiral,” his beloved greets.

“You can still call me, Hound, Diaz. Especially since you’re married to this one now. How’s that treating you, by the way? Terribly? Horribly?”

“Hound,” he whines. In the midst of all the help Hound has given him, Buck has completely forgotten how terrible he is.

His husband is completely unfazed, though. “Best decision I’ve ever made.”

Goodness, he’s going to die of embarrassment.

“Admiral,” Wash says, interrupting them, and handing the phone back, face sour. “The case is your team’s.”

“Thank you, Detective Wash,” Hound says, smiling shark-like as Buck victoriously mentally adds a tally to his little win column. Then, to the group of people he had brought. “Do a thorough search. But don’t mess things up too much unless you want to deal with a mother hen’s protectiveness on steroids.”

Bucks gapes and complains, “That was so unnecessary.” But he does step aside when his love pulls on his shirt, letting the agents in but keeping a keen eye on them, especially the one going towards the rooms, something he can tell his soulmate is doing to.

“But not untrue.”

“Whatever,” he says with an eye roll, the exact same gesture that had unbalanced his beloved when they first met, looking over at Hound again, trusting his partner to keep an eye out on the house. “But, seriously, how come you’re here?”

“Well, when a classified file suddenly gets asked for, it raises some flags, Pup. And when it’s associated with grand theft…”

“But you didn’t have to come.”

“Figured I could lend a hand and see how you’re doing myself. Two birds, one stone.”

“But-“

”Look, can I not just come see a brother I haven’t seen in years?”

Oh.

“At least let us get you dinner?”

Hound gives him a ‘you’re serious?’ look. “Just get me a muffin and a cup of coffee, and we’ll call it even.”

Buck opens his mouth to protest because his old officer has done so much more than is worth a muffin and a coffee.

But then Hound opens his mouth again.

“Besides, you think meeting this new crew of yours isn’t good enough for me?”

Oh no.

==========================================================

“So let’s see if I got this right,” Buck says two days later, before eating an offered shrimp from his husband’s fork. ”The fake nerve agent attack was a distraction for the armored car robbery which was a distraction for the diamond heist.“

Hound, who has joined them for a station lunch, nods. “Yep. This is really good, by the way, Captain Nash. No wonder Pup doesn't look like a stick anymore.”

He groans, the nth time since Hound’s been in town. The man will not stop teasing him in front of the others.

Buck refuses to rise to the bait, though. He learned the first two times. Then he learned again when Chimney decided to tell Hound about the stories he had stored from Buck's short time as a firefighter, or that he's heard from Maddie. So, instead, he muses, ”Crime is hard.”

Like, how does anyone think about such a convoluted plan?

Well…

“If you decide to pursue a life of crime, I’m sure you can, too, Chief Petty Officer Diaz,” Hound deadpans, looking at Buck like he remembers every stupid and ingenious stunt he’s ever pulled.

Which he probably does…

“Granted, you might have to detach yourself from your husband first to do it.”

Oh yeah, nope. Life of crime is definitely off the books then.

”Who says I wouldn’t do a life of crime with him?” his love says, stabbing another shrimp - because Buck will always like shrimp more than his partner - to offer.

Buck grins, feeling that indescribable love he has for his soulmate, taking the offering reverently.

And that's when he notices the silence, and a soft ‘oops’ from Hound.

“What?” he asks when he swallows, confused about the sudden shift. “It's not the first time you've seen me eat from my husband's fork.”

Bobby lets out a resigned, long-suffering sigh. “Kid, what did the admiral say before Eddie distracted you?”

Before?

“That I'd have to detach from my husband to live a life of crime?”

“And before that?”

Crap.

The stares make sense now. They make so much sense.

“Uh…I'm- It's in name only?”

And Hound, probably clocking his panic, decides to ease the shock blanketing the room, turning a devilish smirk to the other, “Well, he has the creativity for it. There was that one time when he decided to jump-”

“Hound!”

Ugh, big brothers are such pains to deal with.

They're great. But a pain.

Chapter Text

When Shannon called him out to talk privately without his husband or Christopher there, Eddie's nerves had taken a steep climb from their already high number from the bank robbery accusation that had him thinking he'll have to visit his partner in jail.

It was hot, and Eddie stood on the same boat about not wanting Christopher's stuff to be messed with. But it was definitely not worth being arrested over for things they could replace or reorganize. Regardless, he had taken a silent support approach, knowing how his love is when in overprotective mode, but ready to step in when needed.

Which he didn't have to, and it's over. But Eddie's heart rate and nerves aren't over it quite yet.

And now this?

Eddie doesn’t know what this meeting is about, and it stresses him out.

Because why does she want to meet him alone? Was there something unsatisfactory with their home when Shannon visited? But why now, two weeks after the visit? Why hasn’t she brought up visiting again since? Does it have something to do with him?

His brain automatically comes up with a hundred and one different reasons that Shannon would have called him out to this meeting, and his urge to pace is so great that he has to distract himself by fiddling with his cup of coffee.

Maybe he should order a few things now for his husband and son to keep him occupied instead of at the end of this meeting?

Oh, maybe he should. He can run out right away if he has to.

But before he can get up to order too many pastries for his family, the bell rings, and Shannon walks through the doors, spotting him and walking her way over to the counter for her own coffee.

Great.

It doesn’t even take long for the bored-looking barista to make her drink, going immediately back to whatever he’s watching on his phone as soon as the drink leaves his hands.

At least they’ll have some semblance of privacy?

But it doesn’t make him any more eager to have this conversation when Shannon sits down across from him, leaning back in the chair, absentmindedly taking a sip of her coffee - maybe, if he remembers her order right, cappuccino - and avoiding his eyes the whole time.

“What is this about, Shannon?” he says, ripping the band-aid off and breaking the silence when they’ve sat there for at least five minutes.

“I…”

He takes a deep breath when she doesn’t continue. What’s so hard that could make her like this? Something she knows he won’t accept?

“I never wanted to take Christopher from you.”

“I won’t give you Christopher,” he tells her immediately, brain latching on to the past tense and jumping to the worst conclusion. “If that’s what this is about.”

“No. I…” She visibly braces herself, upset. “God, I’ve been thinking about what to say these past two weeks, and it’s completely gone now.”

”So this isn’t about taking Christopher?”

”No. Goodness no. I never wanted to take him for you. I know what I signed away, alright? But I had wanted to spend some time with him, maybe have him over at mine for a weekend or take him out to Disney or-“

She sniffs, and Eddie gulps. He’s never been good with girls crying. “But now I realize I have no right to do any of that. I have no right to call him my son.”

”What-“

She shakes her head, stopping him in his tracks. But it takes her a few minutes to compose her thoughts, time he spends awkwardly sipping his terrible-tasting cup of coffee, no idea what to do or say or why she’s saying she has no right to call Christopher her son when the seven-year-old is completely open to her and Eddie’s done nothing to persuade her of that thought.

He thinks.

Then-

“I hated you,” she whispers between them like it’s a big secret. ”Hated you for making choices without telling me. Hated you for not being there when we promised we'd make it work together. Then I did the same.”

“I put you in a bad spot,” he admits, something that being in therapy and a very loving relationship has taught him. “We both got forced into really bad corners.”

”Maybe. But I shouldn’t have left. Not the way I did.”

”But you’re trying now.”

”But I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve this chance, Eddie. Not when I’ve done nothing for him.”

“You-“

”Eddie.”

He shuts up, her expression giving him pause. “I don’t deserve it. Because what have I given him that can compare to what you two almost gave him? Have given him?”

Eddie is a little shocked at that, wondering what she knows when she lets out a shaky breath before continuing. “I didn’t realize how much hurt it would cause by my leaving. All I wanted was to get away from there. I couldn’t stand it anymore. And then one day I saw you and Buck-”

“We weren’t anything back then,” he quickly clarifies. “I never would have done that to you.”

“-I know. But I realized then how much you loved him. How much he loved you. I realized how stuck and miserable we all were, and I knew I had to be the villain. You’re too responsible to do it, and Buck would never hurt you. And I thought it was perfect. I could leave, free all three of us, and everyone would be happy. I took the out, Eddie, and I didn’t look back.”

The first tears escape from her eyes. “I didn’t think about how your parents would react. I didn’t think about how hard it would have been to raise a child with CP when you and your partner had no other experience other than the military and with no parental support. I didn’t think about how you would cover all the medical bills or living expenses on your own. I didn’t think that you would go back.”

Then, in a whisper. “I didn’t think Buck would go back or how much he would end up sacrificing for the family I should have helped provide for.”

Surprise washes over him, and he stares at his ex.

How did she know?

“Christopher mentioned Buck's leg. His 'cool leg'. I couldn't not ask about it,” she admits, looking ashamed and guilty for prying. Then she leans forward, hands out on the table, looking desperate for him to understand and accept her next words. “I’m so, so sorry, Eddie. I put you two through so much unnecessary pain. All I thought about was myself and putting as much distance as I could away from you. I didn’t even think about the alternatives until I went through two years of therapy. I could have sent you money. I could have asked for a divorce but still helped take care of Christopher while you two went out and earned money. I could have… But I didn’t, and you two suffered for my selfishness. I don’t…I don’t even know how to face your husband. If it wasn’t for me, he-”

“Shannon.”

She stares at him, tears streaming down her face, and he realizes how much the information about what he and Buck had gone through to keep them afloat and Christopher healthy has been eating at her.

“We’re here,” he says. “That’s what’s important.”

“But-”

“We all could have done better. But, as you said, the military was all we knew, and with the bills piling up…We did what we had to do.”

“Neither of you wanted to go back. I forced you to make that choice. And Buck wasn’t even his parent back then. I saw the marriage certificate on the wall. He did everything I was supposed to have done. He was there. He provided.”

“He didn’t want to go back,” she whispers, distraught. “I remember how relieved he was when he first came to us and accepted that discharge.”

“He didn’t,” Eddie confirms. “But it was for the best at the time. He wanted me to focus on healing and Christopher. The SEALs…it was the best-paying job he could get at a moment’s notice. Not to mention the benefits that he somehow gave to us.”

”That’s why I don’t deserve Christopher. If I had-“

”And it was hard,” he admits with a snap, a result of years of unresolved resentment at his ex and knowing he has to put all the cards down before they inevitably go in circles. “Getting shot was probably the least of it. Because getting told your fiancé and love of your life was missing? That he was in critical condition in a foreign hospital? That he might never wake up? When you see with your own eyes the trauma and depression eating at him every day? And all because he put his life on the line for you and your son? Yeah. It was hard. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

“And I blamed you. I blamed you for leaving without looking back. Because when I left, I at least provided. You didn’t. If you had, he wouldn’t have had to go back. He could have joined the EPFD or gotten a job where he was safe.”

He breathes out with a heavy sigh, the long pent-up resentment laid to rest, taking his sudden anger with it. ”But it’s all in the past now. And Christopher…He asked us about calling you ‘Mom’, you know? He misses you. He’s been wondering when he can hang out with you next.”

”He has?”

”Yeah.”

(It didn’t even sting as much as he thought it would when Christopher had brought it up. It was…sort of relieving if he had to admit it. Yeah, it means that he’ll be seeing his son less, but it means they’re moving forward, right? It also means Christopher will have someone else to turn to if he needs it or if something happens to him and his partner on the job.)

They sit in awkward silence after that, both of them unable to say anything in the face of the heavy past and guilt blanketing them.

And Eddie wants out so badly, regretting his decision not to get some pastries beforehand. Now he’s going to have to awkwardly get up and go to the counter and-

His phone lights up, the silly picture of his husband and son showing up and dispelling some of the heaviness in the air, allowing him to breathe a little easier, especially when he sees that the notification is about a message from his beloved.

‘You think Christopher will like these?’ the message reads, attached with a snapshot that Eddie recognizes is from Instagram of a ‘person’ made from a sausage frank, spaghetti, and whatever else that it is.

It’s definitely something that Christopher would have a blast over, though.

“I should go before my husband makes an army of sausage people,” he excuses himself, getting up.

“Sausage people?”

He shows Shannon the phone, drawing a snort out of her.

“Go,” she tells him, waving him off.

So he does, making a beeline towards the counter to get some pastries that he was eyeing earlier, getting enough for his soulmate and their son for the next two days.

But he stops in his tracks when he turns back around to head out, seeing Shannon staring out the window morosely.

”For all it’s worth,” he says, stopping by the table again on the way out, waiting until she turns to face him with tears in her eyes before he continues. “I think you have the right to call Christopher yours. You gave him life, Shannon. Maybe not in the same way we almost did, but you gave him life. And he’d be pretty disappointed and sad if you decided to never see him again. So I’d say that means something.”

“You really think that?” she asks, desperate hope in her eyes.

“Yeah.”

“And Buck-”

“We got past it. Together. And neither of us blames you for what happened. Neither of us is mad. At least not anymore. Though, if you don’t show your face to Christopher soon, that might not be the case.”

She cracks a smile, so Eddie counts that as a win. ”Thank you.”

”Anytime.”

Chapter Text

Everything sucks.

Well, not everything. Shannon started coming around again, his and Maddie’s relationship has gotten less bumpy, and he and his husband are really starting to look into adoption and surrogacy now that the end of his probationary year is coming to a close, both of which are amazing and send a thrill down his spine.

Because another kid?!

Sign him up!

He has a preference between the two, too, now, but he’s waiting for his beloved to make his own decision before saying anything.

Or maybe they’d just do both because Buck has no doubt he’d love any adopted child as much as his own.

But that was as far as the good things went.

Because everything else?

”Please come back,” he pleads, slumping onto Bobby’s table. “Please, Cap.”

He hadn’t wanted to complain, okay? Especially not to Bobby because he's sure the man has a lot on his plate with the suspension and wedding plans. And he’s had terrible, slave-driving drill sergeants he’s had to listen to before, so Interim Captain Han wasn’t even terrible in comparison. But…

”It’s not my decision, Buck,” his captain says, flipping over another sheet of paper on the table.

Buck shoots up from his sitting position. ”He almost burned down the station! That has to qualify for a reason, right?!”

Yeah. Interim Captain Han is…overcompensating, in his opinion, and he would like Chimney back.

Like, yesterday.

“Buck…”

“And, honestly, I think it’s stressing him out, too? I mean, otherwise, he would have known to water down the chocolate on that call, right? Or he would realize the station’s not going to fall apart if we don’t roll the hoses efficiently.”

Bobby eyes him with misplaced scrutiny. ”Were you rolling the hoses efficiently?”

”Yes! Exactly the way you taught me to.”

The older man sighs, giving up the pretense of looking through his wedding planning papers. “Buck, he’s still adjusting.”

”Can’t we just have you back?”

And, yes, he’s aware he’s pouting, but he’s never loved working under someone as much as he loves working under Bobby. There’s just something about how the man looks after them and lets them act up, but will rein them in if need be, and cooks for them and-

He wants Bobby as his Captain.

“Sorry, kid. It’s out of our hands.”

”I could give Hound a call?” he asks, grimacing internally at the idea, but he’s desperate.

”I don’t think he could do much. The department suspended me on rightful grounds.”

Buck groans, dropping his head into his arms. Why was Bobby being so calm and logical right now?!

Before he can protest more - he knows Bobby is right but he can’t help it - Bobby offers, “How about we put that to the side and you can help me take a look at these instead?”

He blinks up at Bobby, who's gesturing towards the papers on the table. “You want me to help you with wedding planning?” he asks, surprised.

“You've got a good eye, kid. I trust you.”

Oh.

Okay.

So he sits up again, dragging the closest papers closer to himself.

Wedding venues.

And wow, those are a lot of options.

The papers that are next are worse because those are flower arrangements, which seem to have even more options.

“You do know my husband and I didn't have a wedding, right?” he asks, suddenly unsure. It's a wedding. Bobby and Athena's wedding. And he's being asked to help when he has absolutely zero wedding experience?

He's never even been to a wedding!

Bobby frowns minutely before it smoothes out again. “That’s fine, kid. Think of it as a second opinion.”

“Okay.” He looks at the daunting papers again. “If you're sure.”

“I am.”

So they spend the next hour poring over wedding details, the thoughts of Interim Captain Han completely escaping his mind as Buck helps Bobby with his wedding plans by double-checking reviews of different venues and catering online, looking at flower language, and different seating arrangements that people recommend.

“You know, I thought you and Eddie would have had a wedding.”

Buck blinks up from his phone, the fascinating details and meaning of different wedding traditions seared into his mind even as he looks at Bobby.

“Really?”

“Yeah. You still call him your husband in front of everyone, kid. A wedding where you two would be able to announce your love to the world? Seems fitting.”

“We were going to,” he admits, sitting back. “We just…didn't.”

“Oh.”

Bobby doesn't push the topic, not that Buck expected him to. That's the thing with him. Bobby knows exactly when to push and when not to. He respects boundaries. And the man probably has some rough timeline in his head about Buck and his husband, and with what he just said, it's not a surprise Bobby doesn’t ask.

But this isn't something Buck tries to hide, it's not something he regrets, and he does want to talk about it now that it's brought up.

And honestly? It was still the best day of his life despite the circumstances that preceded it.

“He proposed right before I deployed again,” he says with what he assumes is a reminiscent smile on his face, the day still so clear despite everything that has happened since. It's the first time that he had felt so chosen. That, despite the other options his then-boyfriend could have had, he chose Buck, willingly wanting to tie them together.

“And, Bobby, my husband was very serious about wedding planning. Every time I managed to call home, he had at least a dozen updates on it.”

Bobby snorts. “Seems like Eddie always had a possessive streak. Sure sounds like he wanted you to be his as soon as possible.”

Buck chuckles. In hindsight, his captain is right. Even his team had teased him every time his calls ended, grilling and ribbing him about his fiancé, who was so determined to tie him down.

(It just kills him that they never got to go to the wedding, but it's a more muted feeling now, therapy having done wonders to keep those feelings from drowning him.)

“Yeah, and I feel bad that his plans never came to fruition, but it just didn't seem important anymore, you know?” He shrugs, not knowing how to describe it otherwise. “After everything, it was like, why waste time doing something fancy for other people when all we needed was Christopher with us? So the courthouse it was.”

“That’s fair,” Bobby concedes.

Then an idea hits him. “Oh, maybe I can ask if he remembers what he planned. You and Athena can use them.”

Better than letting all of his husband’s efforts go to waste, right? It might not be for them, but at least part of their family will make good use of them.

”I don’t think that’s a good idea, Buck. Those plans were meant for the two of you. It wouldn’t mean so much to me and Athena. Besides, you can always do a vow renewal later. Let Eddie's planning have their time to shine that way.”

Oh, that is an idea. Why had he never thought about that? He’s sure a lot of what his beloved had in mind for a wedding would fit in a vow renewal, and his partner is sure to love it because Buck knows how much his husband had wanted a nice wedding for them both. And while a vow renewal might not be the scale that his love had wanted their wedding to be, it’s still a way to have the people they care about celebrate their love. At the very least, it’ll mean more than his husband’s first shotgun wedding with Shannon.

Speaking of…

“Oh my God, I forgot,” he breathes when the thought hits him. “I can't believe I forgot.”

“What is it?” Bobby asks worriedly.

“Shannon. She's a freelance wedding planner, Bobby. She probably knows the best everything in the city that belongs in a wedding. I can just ask her!”

“It's her business, Buck. I wouldn't want to impose on her without compensation for her time and opinion. And I've got plenty of time to figure it out.”

Buck shakes his head. He's low-key invested in this now. “It's fine. It's just a few questions. I'm sure she won't mind. But I’m sure Athena will mind if the centerpieces clash or if you jinx your marriage because the wrong flowers were picked.”

His father figure shakes his head fondly. “Alright. Whatever you say, kid.”

He grins, wondering if he should send her a text right now to ask about whether white carnations and sunflowers are a good combo. Or maybe just the classic roses paired with something else?

Nah, he’ll wait til he sees her again. This is way too important to talk about over text.

But he doesn’t get a chance to ask her before everything goes sideways.

Chapter Text

“How are the boys?”

Her fiancé sighs, “Coping. Even the maggot call didn’t seem to excite Buck up much.”

“The maggot call?” she asks with an incredulous frown, as they walk around the wedding venue they’re visiting, heart only half into it. “Why would anyone be excited about a maggot?”

“It’s Buck,” Bobby says, like it’s the most obvious answer. “That kid loves all kinds of critters. Finds them fascinating.”

Athena snorts. That does not sound surprising from what she knows of her fiancé’s son in all but blood. “Well, maybe you should go buy him some critters to cheer him up.” She waves a hand around. “Better than being here.”

It’s not that she doesn't want to be here, and it's not like it's a bad wedding venue. Far from it. It’s just…not them.

Bobby huffs with a slight head shake, a slight grin on his face. “Remind me of that when his birthday comes up. I’m sure he and Christopher will be thrilled. Eddie, uh, not so much. But until then, I don’t think anything’s going to cheer them up until Shannon wakes up.”

“Do you know how she is? Hen mentioned it was pretty bad.”

“Spinal,” Bobby tells her, the exact same thing Hen had told her, face solemn. “The doctors aren’t sure if she’ll ever be able to walk again. And that’s if she wakes up. Because with all the internal bleeding she suffered from and the fact that she hit her head pretty hard…”

She sighs, heartbroken for the youngest members of the 118. It always hits hard when one of the members of her best friend’s station gets hurt, but now that the team has really become a family, and she’s so much more involved with them because of Bobby? The hits come harder and easier.

“They’ll get through it,” she says with conviction. Knowing Buck and Eddie, they will. “They have each other. They have us.”

“They do. And they’ll need all the support they can get, especially with Eddie’s parents coming into town.”

Athena runs a hand over the tablecloth that the venue has. It would be something they'd have to change if they pick this place, she thinks. She has some better ones in mind.

But first-

“You don’t like them?” she guesses, taking her attention away from the tables. It’s not the priority right now because if the mention of the Diaz parents makes Bobby like this, underlying displeasure and all, it’s probably not good.

Bobby huffs again, but this time there’s no lightness in it indicative of him being sarcastic or joking. “I think they are so caught up in what they think a family should be that they’re missing out.”

Oh no.

“They don’t approve?”

“They pretend Buck’s not married to their son,” he tells her, obviously displeased at the Diaz parents’ treatment of Buck and Eddie.

She frowns, running that statement in her head a few times. “How does anyone do that? You can’t really miss it.”

If there’s one thing she’s learned about Buck and Eddie, it’s that they’re always in each other’s orbits. Sure, she knows that they sometimes run separate errands, they physically can’t do their work being side-by-side, and sometimes their schedules don’t even line up entirely. But when they’re together? Oh boy, nothing can separate those two for long.

“My thoughts exactly. But they’re so in the clouds about a traditional family being a husband, a wife, and children. And I get it, Athena. I was raised Catholic. I get what people think about relationships that fall outside that mold. But love is love, and sidelining your son-in-law because he doesn’t fit in the mold is the worst thing a parent can do. I’m surprised Eddie hasn’t ripped them a new one.”

Goodness, with the way Bobby is talking about them, she’s about to rip them a new one, her protective instinct rearing its head.

No wonder Hound would drop so much to help Buck if this is how she feels.

“You've got questions, Sergeant.”

Athena glances over at the admiral. They’re at the bank where the robbery had happened, and, boy, was she surprised to find him already here with a team to investigate.

“I’m surprised you’re here,” she states simply. “After what you already did for Buck when Maddie got kidnapped?”

The admiral - Hound, she reminds herself - cocks his head to the side. “He’s like my little brother.”

”Is that it?”

She spots the slightest twitch in the corner of his lips before it turns into a full-blown grin. “No wonder Pup likes you. You’re impressive, Sergeant Grant.”

”You’re not trying to pull Buck back into the SEALs, are you?”

And maybe it’s not the best idea to accuse the admiral who’s clearly helping them, considering the way everything taken yesterday got promptly returned today and the very well-mannered team that has been asking about things since. But she doesn’t like the idea of Buck being shipped off somewhere, and she will take Wash and Mercer again if it keeps Buck here with them.

“Oh no. Pup never took to the SEALs too well, and he’s sure not going to go back now.”

She squints at him suspiciously, eliciting a snort of laughter from him.

“You know how he caught my eye, Athena?”

“I’m afraid not.”

He leans back on the wall they’re standing by, watching the team and Hen inspect the vault for evidence, looking reminiscent. “He saved a turtle. Tiny little thing that wasn’t on my radar when I was visiting one of the training bases. Then this kid - eighteen, almost nineteen at the time - rushes over to stop me in my tracks so I wouldn’t kill the poor thing. He didn’t even care if he was going to get punished. He just wanted to save it. Even insisted on someone getting it back to the pond. And you can train an infinite number of soldiers who can listen and follow commands. But one with good observation skills, a good head, and a good heart? You don’t train those, Sergeant.”

“So I reached out to talk to him, and…he was so lonely, so desperate for acceptance and somewhere where he belonged. And, somehow, in that hour I talked to him, I decided that I was going to give that to him. Promised myself to be there for him whenever he needed me and everything.”

Athena can’t help but snort. Trust Buck to endear himself to someone so quickly.

But making a promise like that in the SEALs sounds…

“And I tried. I took him under my wing, showed him the ropes, and watched as his full potential came to fruition. But we were never quite a family. A brotherhood, sure, but compared to what he has here? Siblings in Hen and Chimney. A father in Bobby. A mother in you.”

Athena blinks. She's begun to think of Buck as her own, of course, but to hear it come from someone else is certainly new.

“He's so much more settled here. He‘s got a family he couldn't stop talking about yesterday. So, no, he wouldn't go back even if I asked.”

“Not that I would,” he quickly tacks on. ”I'm here because I wanted to check in on him. The last time I heard about him before he called about his sister was not under the best circumstances, I'm afraid, but I wasn't able to be there for him. Consider this me fulfilling my promise to be there for him.”

Oh, so it’s guilt.

“‘Thena!” Hen shouts before her thoughts can start accusing him of only helping them because of guilt and not because he cares for Buck, despite him saying Buck’s like a little brother to him.

“I think that’s our cue,” Hound says, detaching himself from the wall.

“Sure is.”

”And Sergeant?” The man doesn't continue until she looks at him. “If you don’t mind keeping what I told you under wraps, I’d appreciate it. I've been made aware that Pup hasn't said much about the past few years, and I'm sure you know how important it is for some things to come from the source.”

Hm, this isn’t just about the guilt, then. He does care.

“Of course.”

She is quickly knocked out of her thoughts when she hears, “It’s already bad enough that the department wants to separate them. Now they have to deal with Eddie’s parents?”

“What?” she asks automatically, stunned at the new information. “Buck and Eddie? Did they do something?”

She can't imagine either of them compromising the people who need them or their work placement because of something. Especially since she knows they already got a warning after being a little too lovey-dovey after getting high.

(She’s never letting any of them live that down. Because, really? Eating something made by the public? Really?!)

“No. That’s the thing. They haven’t. They’ve only got that one complaint unless you count Taylor Kelly’s. But the department has been getting some…concerns. And I was mainly the one saying everything was going great, that they are 100% professional on the field. But after the things that have come to light…”

Oh no. “They’re doubting your words,” she finishes.

“Yeah. And I couldn’t not tell them. Not when it’s an actual possibility. But, God, Athena, I feel so bad. If I had just-”

Athena stops him with a firm grasp on his forearm. “No ‘ifs’, Bobby. The department sent representatives to check on their professionalism. They can’t throw all of that away. And they will realize you meant every word of your review for them when they realize that your past does not change the fact that you have done your job and served the people of L.A. with everything you have.”

Bobby sighs, but his lips curve into a smile. “I love you.”

”Good. Now, come on, let’s get some dinner. I’m done with wedding venues right now.”

“Alright,” Bobby says, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as they make their way to the exit.

But as she walks by the lobby and hears about another bomb on the news, she can’t help but feel a sense of foreboding in her gut.

Things were about to get nasty before they got better again.

Chapter Text

Despite the city of Los Angeles being on high alert about the bombings, Chimney wouldn't say he was too worried. Weary, yes. Cautious, yes.

But worried?

Everyone he loves is smart enough - like Hen or, you know, Maddie - to not touch or move any mysterious porch package until it's confirmed someone in the household bought something. If the bomber’s MO stays the same, no one else is getting hurt.

Aaaand, of course, he jinxed it.

Bobby's attempt to patch through to them raises his red flag, but what Chim assumes is an attempted warning comes too late, and, before he knows it, the ladder truck following them is being blown up.

It takes a moment for his brain to catch up to what's happening, and it has nothing to do with side effects from the rebar or anything.

Because his coworkers are sprawled on the ground and Buck-

It looks like he's stuck under the truck.

His first reaction is to regret letting Buck sit in the front seat of the ladder. They usually wouldn't have allowed him to, since he's their probie, but Buck seemed to brighten up at the idea of it. And, with how downtrodden the Duo were these days since Shannon's unfortunate accident, no one found an issue with it. Not even Eddie, who likes to sit with his husband.

Speaking of-

“You can't,” Hen urges, and Chimney is grateful that a part of her is still functioning through the shock to get a hold of Eddie as he's ready to jump out of the engine to no doubt help his husband. “Someone’s there, and his silhouette does not scream friendly.”

Chimney looks in the mirror again, and, sure enough, someone - a young man, maybe - is walking over to where Buck is lying with something around him, judging by the silhouette.

Which turns out to be a bomb and dead man’s trigger of all things.

His heart’s in his throat the entire time that they’re sidelined, forced to watch as Bobby - because Freddie didn't want him, he wanted Bobby - talks the bomber down, and how Buck is almost unmoving, the shudders he can see from their spot the only indication he’s still alive.

But he won’t be if they can’t get to him quickly.

So, when they're cleared to head in, Hen’s immediately rushing in, Eddie only a step ahead of her, and Chimney follows right behind them, aware that he’s not a paramedic right now.

(God, would he love to be a paramedic right now.)

And, oh, it does not look good.

The first thing he notices has him and Hen cursing because Buck is trembling, clammy and pale, breaths coming out erratically, symptoms that are textbook panic attack, and it makes their job much more urgent. They have to get to Buck and run lines before the crush injury does any serious damage, but they can't risk forcing their way in in the midst of a panic attack.

Fortunately for them, they have Eddie, a certified medic and already trying to calm his husband down, crouched low.

They just have to stand by to move quickly.

“Cariño.”

No response.

“Amor?”

The breaths still come out unevenly, and Chimney worries the panic attack will bring Buck down rather than the crush injury.

“Buck,” Eddie continues his efforts, gentle yet firm. He ignores the surprise he feels at Eddie using his husband's nickname. “Can you hear me?”

The Army vet gets on the ground, uncaring of the glass scattered on the floor, reaching a tentative hand out and stopping just inches away from Buck’s.

“Evan, I need you to listen to me.”

Now that’s a shocking name to hear from Eddie.

And it seems to do the trick because Buck pauses. It’s a minute pause, but it’s there.

Hen's hand goes to her med kit, and Chimney knows the urgency in his veins is mirrored in his partner.

But it seems like the same can't be said for Eddie, who is going patiently and steadily, voice soft and unurgent.

And that is the way to take care of a panic attack. You can’t talk someone down when panicking yourself, but the big brother part of him - the one that couldn’t bear watching something happen to Buck under his watch, brother of his girlfriend or not - is urging Eddie to pick up the pace, is wanting for a way to just take all the panic away so they can start running lines and pushing bicarbonate instead of wasting time coddling.

He can’t lose another brother. Not like this. Never like this.

He wants - no, he needs - to do something. He needs to help.

Wait.

He can.

“We’ve got a probable crush injury,” he says into his comm as Eddie slowly approaches Buck by sliding his way across the glass-covered concrete, gently touching his hand. “I need all hands on deck to move this truck and clear a path to the nearest trauma center.”

There. That will save them some time. Now they just have to stabilize Buck and get the ladder off his leg.

Only once Eddie calms Buck down, though, and there seems to be improvement on that front already when Buck jolts but seems to soften at Eddie’s touch, which encourages the latter to tuck an arm under Buck’s head, whispering to him too lowly for Chimney to hear and running a hand through the younger’s hair.

Then-

“Hen, shears.”

“Shears? What are you going to do? Cut the truck off him?” she asks incredulously, and the paramedic in him is asking the same question. Out of everything he can think of to keep Buck alive, shears aren't one of them.

“Shears, Hen.”

And something about that tone, that unwavering, undeniable demand, so unlike the usual Eddie that it gives him pause. And Hen must feel the same because she reaches for the requested item and hands it over.

Once it’s in Eddie's hands, though, he’s unsure of what to do except to watch him work, cutting one of the legs of Buck's pants off while one hand grips his husband’s arm to stem the panic Chim could see when Eddie had let go. Then, for a moment, he wonders if Eddie’s going to do an in-field amputation when-

Holy-

He looks at Hen to see her sporting the same expression as he probably has.

Because what the fuck?

Chapter Text

Buck doesn't process it at first.

He was in the ladder truck, listening to Lane and Ramos bicker like an old married couple, immersed in how the views are different up front and ignoring the hopelessness he’s been feeling at being unable to get his son to cheer up for more than an hour before his little brain reminds him his mom is in the hospital.

Then dispatch says Bobby wants to get patched through and-

Boom.

It’s such a shock that he feels the asphalt under him and sees the person over him before his lungs start to feel like a rubber band is wrapping around them over and over again, constricting.

“Tailpipe, doesn't this wedding talk make you jealous?”

“Why? I’d die before I get tied down.”

“It doesn't feel like being tied down,” Buck defends, a little put off at the insinuation that marrying the love of his life isn't the best thing that's ever happened to him.

“Well, of course you'd say that. You've been gushing about your fiancé since you've stepped foot here again. Eddie this. Eddie that.”

“You’re just jealous he has someone to talk about.”

“In your dreams, Hothead.”

“Well, maybe in my dreams-”

Then the nightmare comes.

Buck tries to breathe through the memories, breathe through the tightness in his chest, but he can’t.

His ears are ringing. His heart is racing. The memories are flowing.

Something is pinning him down.

Something is pinning him down.

There are people standing over him, holding weapons.

Someone is standing near him, hovering, saying something.

Pain. Unbearable pain.

Something hurts. He can't tell what.

Tailpipe is dead, the soulless eyes staring at him even as he starts to feel warmer and warmer by the day.

Shady is wheezing, dying with each breath he takes.

He doesn’t think he's getting out of here alive as rough hands pull him up.

“Cariño?”

It's a whisper in a rambunctious crowd of people, and Buck loses grasp of the voice like water in his hands.

His throat hurts, but it's nothing compared to the rest of the pain.

“Amor?”

The voice sticks for a moment, but it falls away like water on glass.

Just a little bit longer.

Maybe.

“Buck. Can you hear me?”

Buck, not Pup. Not the codename he was given in the SEALs. Not the one used on missions.

But they knew his nickname, too, hadn’t they? They just liked using Pup. It was more endearing to them. It was safer.

Time was no longer on his side.

He just wants it to-

“Evan, I need you to listen to me.”

For a moment, everything pauses.

Evan.

Evan, the kid who always wanted his parents to notice him.

Evan, the teen who found acceptance through serving.

Evan - no, Buck, it's Buck - the young man who found love in the most unlikely of places.

“Evan Buckley, I have loved no one more than you, and I will continue loving you forever.”

“Hey, it's me.”

“I do.”

Eddie.

His husband.

“Eds?”

“That's it. That's me. Now breathe for me.”

Breathe?

Why does he-

Buck jolts when he feels something touch him.

No.

Someone.

Someone with a familiar, gently grounding touch.

Not rough ones that dragged and kicked and hurt and-

And like a bright comet in the dark, it cuts through everything.

He breathes, and then his head is cushioned by something.

An arm.

His husband's arm.

Then, a hand runs through his hair, and suddenly, breathing seems a lot easier, though the band around his lungs is still there.

“There we go. Just like that cariño. You're safe.”

His surroundings come into focus a little more, and he clutches onto fabric with an iron grip, his love's words of safety and love slowly but surely chipping away at the panic, at the suffocating feeling in his chest. His partner’s safe hands gently brush away the residual, and his grounding presence gives him something to latch onto.

He relishes it. All of it.

“I'm gonna cut you loose, okay?”

He barely processes the question, too absorbed in breathing in his husband's scent, face pressed into the crook of his neck, trying very, very hard to push the darkest time of his life away.

As it is, he probably manages to nod or give a verbal confirmation because his soulmate pulls away, leading him into a minor flurry of panic until a hand grips his arm, grounding him to reality.

Everything after is a blur, but he clings and clings and clings. He panics when someone attempts to pry him away, attempts to pull the ground from under him.

Then nothing.

==========================

Waking up is a miserable experience.

His head feels like it's stuffed with cotton, his body is heavy, everything is blurry, and he can’t figure out where he is for the life of him.

“Hey, cariño, open those pretty blues for me.”

He grumbles, unable to do as requested or find the words to verbalize it.

“That’s fine. Take your time. I'll be right here, okay?”

Okay. He can work with that.

He drifts a bit, but it feels wrong. He’s vaguely sure it’s not something he usually does, his presence typically needed to prepare for the day, and his own unwillingness to wake his partner when he’s such a morning person.

Wait.

“Babe?”

He doesn’t realize how raspy his voice is, nor how parched he is, because the endearment that falls from his lips sounds so right.

Then everything starts coming in.

He can feel the scratchiness of the hospital sheets.

He smells the distinct sterile smell of the hospital.

He can hear an irritating beeping sound not far from him.

Oh.

Hospital.

Why-

Oh.

His breath hitches, memories slowly trickling in of lying on asphalt, something pinning him down. Something had hurt and-

“Hey, hey, hey, relax,” someone - his husband - shushes, and he registers gentle hands on him, anchoring and beckoning him to the present.

Sometime after, he’s finally able to peel his eyes open, feeling a little unmoored but wanting to see his partner and the reality he’s in.

Because this isn’t the past. This isn’t waking up after unbearable pain and finding out his entire world had been knocked on its side.

Warm, honey eyes sparkle as his own meet them. “Morning, cariño.”

He hums, smacking his lips when he realizes how dry they are, and his partner - his soulmate, the love of his life, his husband - helps him up before pressing a cup to his lips, letting him gulp the liquid down greedily before he’s satisfied enough to sink into his beloved’s embrace.

He’s here. He’s safe.

“What happened?” he asks, unable to help himself despite the memories that are threatening to flood his mind now that his brain has caught up. He never thought he’d feel like this again, therapy having done wonders for his mind, taking those darkest memories and storing them in the most secure of vaults in his mind, but he also didn’t expect to have something so eerily similar happen to him, something that would rupture that vault without warning.

Because there was a bomb involved somewhere. He’s sure of it. And he can remember someone hovering over him and-

“The bomber was after Bobby,” his beloved sighs, hand ducked under the hospital gown to rub comforting circles on his skin. “He didn’t know Bobby was suspended, though, so when you sat in his spot…”

He nods. “Almost blew me up instead.”

His husband shudders under him. “Yeah. That was…”

“Maybe you should come with me to see Dr.Copeland. I think I need to see her soon anyway.”

”I’ll drop her a message because I already have an appointment for you booked for the day after tomorrow. It was the earliest she could schedule you in. But she did remind you of your breathing exercises and everything you’ve gone over with her.”

Buck presses a smile and a kiss into his love’s neck. “You’re the best.”

“Only the best for you.”

“And Chris-” He shoots up, turning wide eyes onto his partner, ignoring the way his head spins. “Christopher! Where is he? Does he know? How is he taking it?”

“Pepa has him,” his love assures him, guiding him back to be tucked against him. “I told him you're fine, but you were asleep - because the doctors had to sedate you to check you over - so they're coming in the morning. I also asked her to bring your leg. Even the LAFD couldn't withstand being under the ladder.”

Oh.

Oh.

Oh no.

“They know,” he whispers when the realization hits him, horrified.

And maybe he's worrying for no reason, but he’s worried, okay? He's essentially been lying to them since the beginning. He's been questioning them by never saying anything.

What if they hate him now? What if they think he can't do his job? What if-

“Don't spiral out on me, cariño.”

“But-”

“I know you wanted to tell them in your own time, but trust me, they're not upset at you. Even without the shock, I think they're more upset at themselves for not making you feel like you could tell them.”

Buck frowns. They're not supposed to feel like that! He's the one who didn't tell them because he got worried! It’s not their fault!

“And, hey, if you wanted to do a dramatic reveal, you did it.”

“That’s what you think I'm worried about?” he asks, incredulous.

“No,” his husband tells him with a soft kiss on his temple. “But I think you're overthinking it, and you can't do anything about them until they get here when the sun rises anyway.”

He pouts, a tad mullish. Trust his love to be his sense of reason. “Fine.”

“And their expressions were pretty funny.”

“Babe!”

But even as they dissolve into fun banter about the expressions of their team members he missed, Buck finds himself drifting off in the love and safety of his soulmate's hold.

Right where he belongs.

Chapter Text

Bobby almost had a heart attack. He's sure of it.

He hadn’t been quick enough, hadn’t put all the clues together, and tried to get through to his team until it was too late.

And seeing Buck stuck under that ladder?

God, that was not something he wants a repeat of, especially when he was still in the dark about exactly how the kid was pinned under.

But did knowing make it easier? No. Absolutely not. Because he knew the moment Buck’s breathing looked labored that the kid was panicking, probably about the events that led to him losing his leg.

At least the kid’s fine now. Eddie had been able to extract him by removing his prosthetic, and they had gotten Buck to the hospital without incident. The doctors did have to sedate him, opting to monitor him for a concussion through scans and frequent check-ups instead of waiting for him to calm down to administer care, but the kid’s fine nonetheless.

It didn’t make Bobby sleep any easier that night.

So, by the next morning, he's already on edge when he gets to the hospital to find the Diaz family there visiting Buck.

Including the parents.

He hovers at the door, and, just looking at the family, there’s a clear divide, making him upset for his kid.

Because while Christopher is curled up between his dads, Josephina ‘Pepa’ Diaz is hovering, and Isabel Diaz - maker of Buck and Christopher’s beloved taquitos - is smothering Buck in kisses and love, Helena and Ramon Diaz stand off to the side, looking on with not worry for their son-in-law but disappointment.

“Precious nieto, you worried us,” Eddie’s grandmother fusses, trying to get one of Buck’s wayward curls in place. “And you need to eat more.”

“Mom, he’s fine,” Ramon Diaz sighs. “And, Eddie, you shouldn't sit on the hospital bed. You neither, Christopher."

Bobby might not be standing close, but he can see the way Eddie tenses and feel the glare he sends to his dad. But, surprisingly, it’s Christopher who speaks up, wrapping himself around Buck more and declaring, “No.”

Before Ramon or Helena Diaz can open their mouths, though, Buck speaks up, giving a forced, half-hearted smile. “Maybe one of you can move so Abuela can take a seat?”

Isabel Diaz tuts, but Bobby feels like it’s more directed towards her son and daughter-in-law than her nephew-in-law. ”Oh, I’m not so fragile, Evanito.”

”I did not mean to imply that, Abuela. You’re as young as ever.”

”Oh, you.”

”Ramon, didn’t you and Helena want to see how Shannon was doing?” Pepa asks, finally catching his eyes with a smile as forced as Buck’s. “Let me show you her room.”

”We can-“

”Let me show you her room.”

It’s then that the rest of the family spots him, Abuela letting out a delighted gasp and “Captain Nash!” while Ramon and Helena Diaz give him curt nods as they follow Pepa out of the room.

And the relief is palpable.

Bobby doesn’t comment on it, though, letting some thoughts run through his mind instead.

He recalls some similar behavior at Eddie’s shielding, Buck distancing himself from his in-laws, and being respectful in a way that doesn’t feel like Buck, Eddie’s own feelings towards his parents’ treatment over his husband making themselves known in that quiet, simmering way, and holding his tongue.

Sometimes, he wondered why Eddie didn’t speak up when he loves Buck so fiercely, but maybe it was more than just how Eddie was raised or the values he was raised with.

Because Buck doesn’t like making people upset. He knows that too much. The kid could be hurting himself and still want to make others happy.

So it has to be a mixture of multiple things.

It’s Buck, never wanting to rock the boat, accepting that he’d never get his in-laws’ approval, but trying his best to maintain civility in order to not get more animosity or get his husband stuck in the middle.

It’s Eddie, never pushing the issue, stuck between not wanting to upset his husband or putting him in a bad spot, and the parents who raised him.

It’s Ramon and Helena Diaz, so stuck in their ways and unwilling to budge even when their son is so happy and the rest of their family is so accepting, isolating themselves just to try and force what they believe in onto their son.

It’s a complicated standstill, and he can’t imagine them getting out of it anytime soon.

But he thinks of Buck, raised by his sister, and Eddie, raised in an environment where he never could have been himself, and he wants to do something about it.

Because as much as he wants to go back and find them as five-year-olds and tell them how loved they will be, he can’t. As much as he wants to go back and steal them away, he can’t.

But he can be someone who stands up for them now.

He doesn’t say any of that, though, instead talking to Abuela, assuaging Buck’s worry about the team being upset at him, answering Christopher’s many questions about the firehouse - something he can imagine the child picking up from Buck - and giving Eddie reassuring smiles.

Then, the team arrives with a red-eyed Maddie, and Buck opens his mouth - no doubt to apologize, no matter how much Bobby told him there’s no need to - just as Maddie drops onto the chair beside the bed and the tears start.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so-“

”Maddie, it’s fine.”

”No, it’s not,” the brunette insists.

Buck, in an action that speaks to how much the relationship between the two siblings has been repaired, leans over to wipe his sister’s tears away. “It’s in the past now.”

”He’s right, hermosa,” Isabel - Abuela, as she insisted he call her - consoles, patting her on the head. “He’s with us now. That’s what’s important.”

“Yeah,” Chimney cuts in, looking guilty but sincere, and probably looking to take the attention off of his still-upset girlfriend. “You’re here. That’s what matters. It doesn’t matter if you're missing a limb-“

”Chim,” Hen hisses, elbowing her partner, effectively shutting him up.

“Well, I am missing a limb,” Buck says, looking sheepish. “I’m sorry I didn’t-“

Hen cuts him off with a shake of her head. ”No. You don’t have to be sorry. We are the ones sorry for making you feel like you couldn’t tell us. But I swear we don’t mind, okay?”

”But I-“

”No.”

”But-“

”No.”

”Cariño, just give in. I think you’re fighting a losing battle here.”

Buck pouts, arms crossed and all, making Christopher giggle at his antics. Next to them, Abuela smiles fondly before getting up to take a phone call in the hall. “I just didn’t want you guys to think I’m a liability,” he murmurs.

”We understand,” Hen reassures with a smile, patting Buck’s knee. “But we still should have given you a safe place for you to feel okay with telling us. I mean, you’ve been hiding it all this time. That mustn’t have been comfortable keeping your leg on so long.”

The kid shrugs. ”It wasn’t that bad. And you guys are safe. It was just hard to bring up after so long.”

Across from Hen, Chimney still looks a little uncomfortable, like he’s still not quite sure whether to believe him or not. “We get it. Just…we’re family, okay? You can always tell us things. Maybe not what you and Eddie get up to in bed-“

”Chimney!”

”-but you can tell us anything.”

It’s a brief flicker, but Bobby spots the moment Buck seems to settle, like it’s finally sinking in that his secret didn’t ruin his relationship with the team and the team doesn’t blame him for keeping said secret.

“Anything?” Buck asks with a pleased, shy smile.

“Again, not-”

Long-suffering, Hen sighs, “Chim.”

“-but anything.”

Buck fidgets, leaning a little more into the arm Eddie has around him and their son. “I know you're curious about my time with the SEALs-”

“You don't have to talk about it if you don’t want to, Buck,” Hen reassures, and Bobby catches the way her eyes glance at the opening of Buck’s gown where the very tip of a scar pokes out.

And Buck must see her look, too, because he shifts, looking self-conscious, but also looking determined. “I can talk about it now if you want to listen. But…”

The kid looks at him, guiltily and pleadingly, then at his own son, and Bobby gets the message.

I know you'd want to hear, but Christopher doesn’t need to hear this. I can tell you later?

And because Bobby finds it hard to say no to the kid, he nods, making Buck smile at him gratefully.

“How about you take Bobby to see how your mom’s doing, superman?”

The seven-year-old pouts with an uncanny resemblance to Buck’s despite the lack of biological ties. “Can't I stay with you?”

“How about you go check on your mom with Bobby, get some food that doesn’t taste like cardboard for us, and then come back so we can eat?” Buck amends, and, while it doesn't seem to appease the child too much, at least he acquiesces, letting his dad help with down so they can head towards the door.

Once there, Abuela joins them, stating she wants to make sure her daughter doesn't murder her brother - which says a lot about how Ramon Diaz is viewed in their family - and, together, they silently agree to let Christopher lead the way, giving him the independence he thrives under.

“Will Papa be okay?” Chris asks softly once they’re in the elevator.

And Bobby could hit himself for the oversight.

Of course, Christopher will be worried, having two of his three parents in the hospital. How could Bobby not think about that and offer some sort of reassurance earlier?

“Of course he will,” Abuela tells him just as softly, running a hand through the child’s curls. “He will be home with you by the end of the day.”

“Especially if he behaves,” Bobby adds, not wanting the seven-year-old to get his hopes up just in case there’s anything in Buck’s scans that the doctors need to monitor for another night. It’s unlikely, the doctor basically confirmed that Buck can go home later today when he asked, but better safe than sorry.

Chris nods sagely. “Daddy will make Papa behave.”

Abuela chuckles. ”That he will.”

Then, the child between them looks up, gaze flipping between the two of them before settling on his great-grandmother even as they arrive on their floor. “What’s a liability? And what do Daddy and Papa do in bed? They sleep, right?”

Bobby grimaces, trying very hard not to want to strangle Chimney, and Abuela is making a face that makes him a little scared for Chimney despite how pleasant it looks.

“Those are explanations for when you’re older, Christopher,” she explains in what Bobby is sure is hope that Christopher will back down.

Unfortunately, Buck did raise this kid, and, before he knows it, big, pleading eyes are turned on him.

“Grandpapa?”

The label startles him, and as it is, if he were holding onto anything, he would have dropped it.

Because what did Christopher just call him?

He sees Buck as his own, of course. He can admit that. But he never realized how much that relationship extends. He never realized how much it must have meant to Christopher to have those moments where Bobby would indulge him or patiently teach him how to peel an orange or play with him.

And the thing is, he doesn’t think Christopher just said it to get him to answer him. Kids are honest - brutally honest, even - and nothing in the seven-year-old’s expression tells him ‘Grandpapa’ isn’t something he’s been thinking of Bobby as for a while.

He wonders if he’s overstepping into this family that's not his by marriage or blood, but a smile on Abuela’s face tells him all there is to know.

It makes a lump form in his throat, touched and yet terrified.

Because does he deserve it? What does being his family get them anyway? He pushed his brother away when Charlie attempted to keep in contact and visited him after his injury in Minnesota. He hasn’t spoken to his mom in years, still unable to find it in himself to forgive her for leaving. His dad died, Bobby too upset to even respond to his dad’s apologies or check on him until it was far too late.

And Marcy? Brook? Robert Jr.?

But the moment passes, even if the feelings lay heavy in his chest, because things have changed. Was it easy? No. Did it happen without someone dragging him out of his past? No.

The point is, he has a family now in the 118, in Athena, in the Diazes.

Does this new development make him know how to answer Christopher’s question, though?

“Yoga?”

Absolutely not.

Abuela cackles, making Christopher give them a suspicious look, but before the child can say anything, they turn the corner only to be met with a heated, whispered argument.

“-better off in El Paso. Better off with a proper family.”

“What? Are Mom and I not enough for you now?”

“You know what I mean, hermana.”

“Don’t hermana me, Ramon. Just because Eddie married Evan doesn’t make them less of a proper family.”

”He would understand if he came home with us, and Christopher can still learn what family really is.”

Josephine Diaz scoffs. “Evan raised him.”

”If Edmundo had gone after Shannon-”

”They were never going to work!”

”And this won’t either. Edmundo is just disillusioned. Evan was just there. If he can get away from this so-called marriage-“

”So-called marriage? It was 100% legal, estupido, and you know it.”

”Only in the eyes of the law. In the eyes of-“

And Bobby has had it, his anger at the two people who have a son who works so hard and loves so much building with each word that comes out of Ramon’s mouth, Helena steadfast at his side, and finally erupting.

Because this needs to change. Buck and Eddie deserve better, and Bobby will be the one to drag the Diaz parents into reality, even if it makes him the bad guy.

If it gets Ramon and Helena to finally acknowledge the couple, good. If not?

Well, Buck and Eddie aren’t the ones missing out.

“-in the eyes of everyone except you,” he interjects, stepping up as Abuela and Christopher hang back.

Good. This might get slightly messy..

Helena purses her lips, obviously upset about their conversation being interrupted. “Captain. I’m afraid this is a family matter.”

“Buck’s my kid in all the ways that matter.”

Ramon opens his mouth, and Helena gives him a disbelieving look, which sets him off because anyone would be considered blessed to have Buck love them in some shape or form.

“And, honestly, I don't like how you're treating him. Or your own son.” Bobby seethes because these kids deserve better. “Your son and son-in-law are the strongest, bravest men I have had the honor of knowing. They're kind, they’re hard-working. Most importantly, they have one of the most loving relationships I have ever seen.”

“It is not what a proper relationship-”

“Forget that. I was born and raised Catholic. I go to church, to mass, to confession. But I see nothing wrong with them. They love each other, they love Christopher, and Eddie's your son. If you can't even be happy for him and acknowledge his husband, you're terrible parents.”

And Bobby wonders if no one has ever said that to their faces because they freeze up, shock apparent in their whole being. Then, when they finally go to talk, Bobby rolls over them.

“I'm a parent, too, and I can't imagine being upset or mad at my kid because they're happy in their marriage, that they have someone to fall back on, to count on even when I’m gone. But you are, and you know what that makes you? Selfish. Because who matters here? You? Or your son?”

Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Josephina looking smugly and victorious at her utterly flabbergasted brother and sister-in-law.

It's true, though. Every single word he said. He'd take none of it back. Then, as a final nail to the coffin, “As it is right now, they'd probably be happier without you in their lives.”

Bobby doesn't particularly want to make anyone upset or even drive a wedge between Eddie and his parents, but he sees how miserable having an unaccepting pair of parents around is affecting Buck and Eddie.

It might just be better to nip the problem in the bud.

A gasp snaps them out of their standstill, though, Christopher peering into the open door to Shannon's room.

And following the seven-year-old's gaze, Bobby can tell what spurred that reaction.

Shannon is awake.

It gives the Diaz parents an excuse to use as they hurry off to get a doctor, leaving him with Abuela, Pepa, and Christopher to watch as Shannon gets herself more and more oriented.

Sometime between Shannon giving Christopher a weak smile and the doctor arriving, Abuela pats him on the arm. “I’m glad Evanito found you,”

”I’m glad I found him.”

And he means it with his entire being.

Chapter Text

It’s almost time.

Buck vibrates in excitement and anticipation, and besides him, his husband smiles at him, amused, as he makes sure Buck looks presentable.

“Ready to be an official firefighter?” his love asks teasingly.

”Absolutely!” he beams, “And once this is over, I’m so rubbing it in Hector and Jen's faces! I'm the earliest one to pass probation after all!”

”Of course you’d be.”

The pride in his partner’s voice makes him melt on the inside, and Buck can’t help but press a quick kiss to those beautiful, beloved lips. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

And he would have been willing to stay there in the locker room, wrapped up in his husband’s arms for the next several minutes before the shielding officially starts, but a light rap on the steel doorframe makes him look up.

Maddie.

“Hey. I’m sorry, but can I- Can I talk to Buck for a minute?”

His soulmate looks at him in silent question, one he answers with a smile and a soft shove out the door, leaving him and his sister.

And what a way they’ve come, he thinks, thinking about how defensive and upset he was at her when she reappeared in his life right before his probationary period started. Now, though, they’ve pretty much made up as he’s finishing his probationary period.

“I just wanted to say congratulations”, she tells him with a pensive smile on her face. “I’m so, so proud of you. I-“

She trails off, and he swallows thickly at her voice thick with unshed tears. It’s been two weeks since he had told her, Hen, and Chim what had happened during his time in the SEALs, and ever since, Maddie’s been distant. Never far, never unanswering, never making him question whether or not she still wants a place in his life, but distant enough to process.

“I’m proud of how far you’ve come, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there to see it. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. If I knew-“

”I know,” he tells her. Maybe before he learned what was happening in her marriage, he wouldn’t have. He wouldn’t have thought she’d be there for him. But now, he knows. “And I’m sorry I couldn’t help you.”

She shakes her head, but he continues before their circle of apologies and reassurances can surface again.

”But maybe…I’ve been thinking, and maybe it was meant to be this way. Maybe we both needed to walk our own paths.”

It’s something that Dr.Copeland had mentioned once when he had first gone to see her to process everything from losing his team to losing his sister, and seeing her rather frequently these two weeks has brought it back.

It seems fitting in their case, though.

Maddie had to leave eventually. She had to find herself outside of the cold home they grew up in, away from the brother who was her responsibility. And while Buck hates how dangerous her path was, she made it out, and he thinks she grew so much stronger because of it.

As for him?

Well, it got him the love of his life, right?

But, in all seriousness, he doesn’t regret it. His path to find acceptance and a home might have had a few more near-death experiences than most people and might have had some pits so deep he swore he couldn’t get out of it, but it turned out amazingly at the end.

After all, he has a family he loves, not only in his husband, his son, and part of his love’s family, but in the 118 as well.

(And even his in-laws seem to be warming up to him. Maybe? At least they seemed to acknowledge him when they dropped them off at the airport. He’s gonna have to get the whole story of what happened there from Abuela because there’s definitely a story there based on her and Pepa’s satisfied grin.)

“And Madds,” he says, the first time since he’s used his nickname for her since the first time it spilled out when he was pinning Doug down. “Those paths…They’re parallel now. It…Yes, I wish you were there when I needed you. Yes, I wish I could have helped you. But we’re here. You’re here. Just like you were when we were kids. Heck, Mom and Dad aren’t here, and you’re here. And that's what matters.”

“I just wish those paths had let me help you when you needed me.”

Buck sighs. Stubbornness runs in the family, he guesses.

“You were. When it mattered, you were. When I didn't know if I could make it out of that hell alive, you were. When I decided to join the SEALs and needed someone to anchor myself to, you were. When I was a kid, wanting someone to love me, you were.”

He hadn't wanted to tell anyone yet, wanting to get approved first, but-

“You’re the reason my husband and I have decided to adopt.”

Her eyes widen in surprise. “You're-”

“Yeah. I mean, we might save and try for surrogacy too, but I just thought ‘there are kids out there that want what I wanted too,’ you know? And I had you, but what about them? So…adoption.”

She's teary-eyed again, but this time with gratitude, and he gets a feeling that something has settled in his big sister.

He needs to clarify one thing, though. ”Just…no more secrets, okay?”

”Well…”

Buck looks at her quizzically. Her reaction doesn't suggest she's just trying to change the subject, so it makes him curious, at the same time it makes him worried.

But before she could elaborate or he could ask, his partner peeks around the doorframe. ”Cariño, Cap is ready to start.”

He nods, turning to Maddie, a silent request on his face.

”I’ll tell you later. Promise.”

And maybe he should worry about whatever secret Maddie has, but as he walks out to officially join the 118, he finds that he can't.

Because even with him being on light duty until the department can get him a new, department-approved prosthetic, everything has turned out just fine.

Bobby's warning that the department is looking at separating him and his husband never came to fruition, the public's onslaught of support for them after the live broadcast of his love helping him out from under the ladder preventing it.

Shannon is getting better, the doctors believing she will be able to get back on her feet one day with enough physical therapy, which the woman is very happily attending thanks to the PT she has a crush on.

Chim and Hen haven't treated him any differently since learning about his leg. The former tries to pull leg jokes from time to time to varying degrees of success, but Buck finds that he appreciates them.

Christopher is flourishing in school, Durand already doing wonders for him despite the short time it's been since he's gotten transferred. Having everyone safe and sound (even if that meant he got another PT partner) has also made him over the moon.

And, finally, like he mentioned to Maddie, he and his husband are going to be adopting probably sooner rather than later. They've officially begun the process of expanding their family, having submitted their paperwork and now waiting to get assigned a caseworker, so it was just a waiting game now.

So, no, he thinks as he sees Bobby's proud face and Hen and Chim’s beaming ones. He can't bring himself to be worried because, despite how rocky it's been, his path has led him to where he wants to be.

With his family.

And he knows that together, there's nothing they can't get through.