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The streets of Piltover buzzed with quiet life even as dusk fell. Maddie walked slowly, her boots scraping against the stone streets, making no sounds. The city was still scarred from the battle that had brought it all so close to ruin. Her body felt weird. It was like everything was dull and muted, but it was to be expected, she'd been hurt-- badly. Around her, buildings bore marks and jagged cracks from the fight. Statues that once stood as symbols of Piltover’s pride and prosperity now lay in shattered disarray or damaged. The once-towering Hexgate spire now stood functionless, its base a silent monument to failure—hers most of all.
She pulled her cloak tighter around her, the fabric feeling so strange, like she couldn't quite feel the texture or its warmth. Beneath its hood, her face was obscured, and that suited her fine. The streets were dotted with people going about their lives: merchants hawking their wares from the remains of a cart, a Piltover enforcer patrolling with a rifle slung over her shoulder, and even a few figures that looked like they had crawled up from the undercity on some errandry. None of them looked at her, their gazes sliding over her like water over stone. She was a nobody. Just another shadow slipping through the fog of this wounded city. It was odd. Most Piltovans had the courtesy to nod in greeting as one passed by and Zaunites nearly always gave a stranger at least a glance, as if to assess a potential threat. The battle really had stirred people's minds it seemed, making them more like drones. That suited her just fine.
She paused at the edge of a square where once a statue of a great Piltovan inventor had stood. Its base remained, jagged and uneven, the inscription weathered and cracked. The fog in her mind thickened as she looked at it, memories surfacing like ghosts. The battle. The screaming. The scent of gunpowder and blood in the air. Caitlyn Kiramman on her knees, her eyes undoubtedly wide with fear in the face of death... and the betrayal. Maddie’s grip tightening on the trigger, her heart thudding in her chest as she prepared to execute Caitlyn for Noxus. For Ambessa.
And then... nothing. A void. She couldn’t remember what came next, no matter how hard she tried. Everything was a blur and it hurt to think about it. Somehow she'd escaped, clearly. Perhaps her Noxian brethren had carried her off to safety or even the enforcers, unaware of her betrayal. Every time she tried to recall it, her thoughts slipped away like sand through her fingers, leaving only the weight of failure pressing against her chest. Yet here she was... undiscovered and unmolested.
She started walking again, her steps aimless but carrying her further into the city as if drawn by something. The people she passed hardly registered her presence, and she preferred it that way. Her disguise was simple and good and she knew how to keep a low profile, even if she doubted it was necessary at this time. How many people in Piltover would even recognize her? She had been a shadow then, and she was a shadow now. A nobody.
The scars of the battle weren’t just in the stonework. They were in the way people moved, a skittishness in their steps, a wariness in their eyes. They were tired. War-torn. A look Maddie knew all too well. Even now, days later, the city hadn’t fully recovered. And neither had she. How long *had* it been? Weeks? Months? It was hard to tell.
Maddie’s thoughts drifted to Ambessa. Where was she now? What had become of her Noxian brethren? They had lost. That much was clear. But the details evaded her, shrouded in the same fog that dulled her every thought. Every time she tried to focus, her mind drifted back to Caitlyn, to the bitterness that surged within her chest like bile.
The bitterness wasn’t just because of the battle. It wasn’t just because Caitlyn… she… had dropped her like a sack of rotten vegetables the moment that girl...Vi had come back into the picture. No, it was deeper than that. Sure enough Maddie had been a spy, fulfilling her duty to Noxus, and she had known the love... the relationship between her and Cait wasn’t real.
At least, she had told herself that. But the truth was murkier.
She had meant what she said, hadn’t she? Even if Caitlyn’s heart had been closed to her, always pining for that red-pink-haired Zaunite, there had been a warmth to her. A kindness. A caring that Maddie had never experienced before and doubted she ever would again. It had stirred something in her heart... a flicker of doubt as to what she was doing was the right thing.
Her hand tightened around the edge of her cloak as she turned down another street. The nicer parts of Piltover loomed ahead, the architecture growing more ornate with every step. It was reckless to come here, she knew. But her feet carried her forward anyway, as if drawn by a force she couldn’t name. She needed to see her.
***
Her steps toward the Kirraman estate felt aimless, as if drawn by a current she couldn't resist. The city streets were quieter now as evening fell, the lively hum of Piltover had been replaced by the muted patter of distant footsteps and the occasional rattle of an enforcer’s patrol. Her mind churned with conflicting emotions—closure, bitterness, longing—each vying for dominance as her destination loomed closer. What the hell was she doing? Would they talk? Was seeing her enough?
She told herself the journey was necessary. "I just need to see her," Maddie muttered under her breath, though her reasons for wanting this escaped her. The chill air carried her words away, unheard. Did she really want to see what had become of her-- whatever she was to her now... an ex-lover, a target... an enemy? Memories of Caitlyn’s warmth, of moments that had felt genuine, clashed with the bitterness of betrayal. Caitlyn had let her go, hadn’t she? Cast her aside the moment Vi returned into her life.
It shouldn't have hurt like this. She was just a job.
Was that why she did it? Was that why she felt so little when she aimed the gun at her head? Or had she just managed to push everything aside in that moment?
As Maddie navigated the streets, a stray cat perched on a fence arched its back and hissed as she passed, its eyes glowing eerily in the dim light. Shadows seemed to cling to her more than they should, stretching unnaturally along the cobblestones. A child ran past, brushing Maddie’s cloak, yet didn’t so much as glance back, as though the contact had never happened. Just as well. She didn't need the unwanted attention.
The Kirraman estate loomed ahead, its imposing gates as familiar to Maddie as the back of her hand. Memories flooded her—walking through those gates as Officer Maddie Nolen, junior enforcer, and then later as Caitlyn’s lover, Ambessa's woman on the inside.
Her cloak billowed slightly in the breeze, and she tightened it around herself, steeling her resolve. But something was wrong. A feeling growing in her heart she couldn't quite place. Was it fear? Fear of being caught like this? No, this was something else. This all felt so familiar. Her jaw hurt.
Getting past the gates and the guards proved effortless. Years of training in subterfuge and stealth, combined with her intimate knowledge of the estate’s routines, made it second nature. She moved through the grounds like a shadow, her steps instinctively avoiding making as much as the slightest sound. Before she knew it, she'd cut a path through the grounds and found herself outside an open window.
"Careless, Caitlyn... very careless of you."
The window led to Caitlyn's bedroom and she paused briefly outside, listening. She heard them before she saw them, the unmistakable sounds of... passion. It could only be her... and Vi. She peeked, leaning so that she could see to confirm her suspicion.
The pair were naked together in bed, a tangle of limbs that writhed and danced with each other. The exchanged the occasional gentle touch or kiss eliciting a gasp or moan from the other. Their hands explored each other's bodies, probing places only meant for the most intimate of exchanges.
Jealousy surged within her, bitter and twisted, as she stood frozen in place. She couldn’t look away. Memories of Caitlyn’s touch, her laugh, the way she used to say Maddie’s name when they themselves had sex, flooded her mind unbidden. Yet they were tinged with doubt now. Were those moments ever real?
She couldn't deny any longer that...
... she'd wanted them to be.
The pain in her jaw grew and stabbed through Maddie’s head, sharp and relentless. A sharp ache that seemed to pulse and grow with each moment. She staggered back from the window, clutching her temples as flashes of light seared her vision. Sounds distorted and warped, echoes of the past blending with the present in a cacophony she couldn’t escape. Her breath came in ragged gasps as the world tilted around her, the truth clawing its way to the surface of her fractured mind. She remembered a gunshot, mixed with the sharp tang of ozone... and blood.
"I appreciated your warmth."
She couldn't help but continue looking at the lovers in bed. That should've been her. If only things had gone differently. If only I wasn't...
She wanted to scream, to cry out, to make Caitlyn see her, know that despite everthing, she'd loved her... wanted to love her.
And then, Caitlyn’s gaze momentarily shifted from Vi and their activity toward the window, she'd been caught. Careless. Stupid!
But there was no reaction. Caitlyn smiled as she looked at Maddie. Maddie waited for what felt like eternity for the scream to come... the look of anger at seeing her there, alive... but it never came. After a while Caitlyn returned her attention to Vi, giving her a gentle kiss. She'd ignored her completely, dismissed her like... she hadn't been there at all. She screamed at her... at them... but neither of the women acknowledged her. Maddie wondered what strange cruelty this was-- what childish game was this they were playing, pretending she didn't exist? But as the moment stretched she began to realize something while dread built within her.
Cait hadn't been looking *at* her... she'd been looking *through* her.
Maddie’s hand moved instinctively to her head, her fingers brushing against... nothing. She couldn't really feel her face. She couldn't feel the floor beneath her. All she felt was that persistent ache in her head? Panic rose as fragmented memories of the battle resurfaced: Caitlyn on her knees, Maddie pulling the trigger, and—a sudden jolt, a searing pain, and then… nothing.
She stumbled back into the shadows, the pain in her head building to an unbearable crescendo. The realization she had been avoiding took root, its truth as cold and unyielding as the grave. Maddie fell and sank to the floor, her surroundings blurring into a void of darkness and sound.
She was not truly here. She was not truly anywhere.
***
The pain in her head throbbed relentlessly, spreading in waves that blurred her vision and made her surroundings twist unnaturally. Her legs-- did she even have legs?-- carried her forward, though she had no destination in mind. She only wanted to be away from the Kirraman estate, away from Caitlyn and Vi, away from the unbearable truth of what had happened.
No wonder no one had noticed her. No one gave her a second glance.
Her thoughts spiraled, each memory tainted by the knowledge that she was dead. The warmth of Caitlyn’s laughter, the brush of her hand—were they ever real-- or had Maddie fooled herself into believing they were? The love she had felt, the duty she had upheld for Ambessa, the final, terrible act she had committed—they were fragments of a life that no longer existed.
Her mind reeled with the realization that everything she had fought for, everything she had sacrificed, had been reduced to nothing. The world she had once walked in moved on without her, unknowing and uncaring. No one noticed her now, not even the living shadows of Piltover who shuffled past her, absorbed in their own lives.
She passed the stray cat again, its green eyes glowing like embers in the dim light. This time, it did not hiss or arch its back. It simply stared at her, unblinking, as if it understood the depths of her despair. Maddie froze under its gaze, a sob rising in her throat. “You see me, don’t you? Please see me... Tell me I'm real!” she demanded with a trembling voice. The cat blinked slowly, then leapt off the fence and disappeared into the night.
As if pulled by some unseen force, she found herself back at the base of the Hexgate spire. The place where she'd died. Flashes of memory assaulted her: the crack of her gunshot, the searing pain, the sensation of falling, and then... the void.
Her strength was almost gone. She collapsed, trying to clutch the cold, fractured ground. The fog in her mind thickened, suffocating her thoughts. The truth loomed over her and it was choking her. She'd failed.
She'd betrayed. She'd died. And now...
She pressed her forehead to the ground. “I don’t want this!” she choked out. “I don’t want to feel anymore. I don’t want to remember! Cait, please... I'm sorry...”
The darkness seemed to respond, creeping closer, enveloping her in its cold embrace. The weight of her memories, of her identity, began to lift as if the void itself was answering her plea. Maddie felt herself slipping away, her thoughts dissolving into a blessed nothingness.
For a fleeting moment, she felt peace as she forgot. Time lost meaning. Everything felt alien and distorted.
But then there was a pull.
Her surroundings twisted and blurred as she was wrenched from the void.
The streets of Piltover buzzed with quiet life even as dusk fell. Maddie walked slowly, her boots scraping against the stone streets, making no sounds. The city was still scarred from the battle that had brought it all so close to ruin. Maddie found herself drawing her cloak drawn tightly around her, the faces of the city’s residents passing her by without acknowledgment.
Ahead, the Kirraman estate loomed in the distance.. and Maddie started walking, pulled by some strange desire.
***
The nights in Piltover bled into each other, one indistinguishable from the next. She drifted through the city’s labyrinthine streets, a shadow clinging to its edges, untethered from the world of the living. She was stuck... by her own making, unable to move on. Some nights she was dimly aware of what she'd become and at other tines she was oblivious to everything, the weight of it all just too much to bear.
Night after night she found herself back at the base of the Hexgate spire, the place where her life had ended. It was her anchor and the spot she returned to when her mind could no longer bear the burden of her existence. Memories whispered to her in the stillness, fragments of moments she couldn’t piece together, echoing her fractured state.
Time lost meaning as she repeated the cycle over and over again until a small mercy was showed to her.
The air around her shifted, disturbed by the sound of footsteps approaching. At first, Maddie was only vaguely aware of the presence, her mind slow to register the intrusion into her solitude. She didn't care any longer, hardly paying the living any heed. They were as much ghosts to her as she was to them. The figure moved closer, their outline gradually solidifying against the muted glow of the city lights. Something about them tugged at her, a familiarity she couldn’t immediately place. The way she walked was familiar.
It wasn’t until the person stepped into the faint moonlight, their blue hair catching the pale glow, that recognition dawned. She had an eyepatch, one she'd seen so many times before now. She was tall... and beautiful.. confident—there was no mistaking her. Caitlyn Kirraman. She looked different. More mature somehow. More worn out.
Maddie’s awareness sharpened as Caitlyn approached the very spot where Maddie had died. Her form flickered, unsteady in the presence of the living, but Caitlyn couldn't see that. In her hand, Caitlyn held a single violet flower, its color vibrant even in the dim light.
Caitlyn knelt, placing the flower gently on the ground. She lingered there, her gloved hand brushing the fractured earth, her expression unreadable. Maddie couldn’t tell if Caitlyn was mourning, reflecting, or simply offering a gesture of closure for herself. The silence stretched, broken only by the faint rustle of Caitlyn’s coat in the breeze.
Maddie drifted closer, an invisible specter drawn by the sight of her. The emotions that had once consumed her—the jealousy, the bitterness, the sorrow—felt muted, distant, as if the violet had absorbed some of her pain. She watched as Caitlyn stood, her gaze lingering on the flower before she turned and walked away, her figure growing smaller as she disappeared into the shadows. She wanted to chase her... to reach out... say something to her... But maybe it was time to go the other way.
For a moment, Maddie stayed, her awareness fixed on the flower’s delicate petals. Something within her shifted, a weight she hadn’t realized she was carrying falling away. The ache within her ebbed, replaced by a profound stillness.
Maddie drifted from the world, her form lightened as if unburdened by her betrayal. The city’s lights blurred into a soft haze as she moved on, her thoughts no longer trapped in the endless loop of guilt and longing.
She didn’t know where she was going, but it was better than this.