Chapter Text
I sigh, running my hands over my face. I don't know how long Dr. Gaster's been gone, but it felt like it was time to move on.
The cabin in Snowdin was in mine and Pap's names, but there wasn't a record of who bought it. The house stood out among the others around in town, it dwarfed the others nearby.
Pap is still getting used to the snow. For some reason it feels familiar to me. He can't feel the cold like the other monsters and it makes him feel a little different. I tell him he's just as normal as everyone else because it's what he needs to hear. He didn't really fit in at the school in New Home, and he's not really fitting in here either. Fourteen is an awkward age for everyone, especially Pap.
I push my glasses back on the bridge of my nose, wondering, not for the first time if Gaster was my dad. I can't remember much more than he was my mentor and he died trying to create a new parallel universe for monsters to live in.
But even that was blurry and vague. He was tall, quiet. He taught me and Alphys so much. I can't recall having a mother and I can't find photos anywhere in the house, or anywhere in the apartment in New Home.
I down the rest of the drink in my glass and shudder. "Alcohol is bad for your brain. And your liver." Papyurs tells me, walking past me into the kitchen. "Shouldn't you be sleeping?" I ask, keeping the anger from my voice. He'd turned into a snarky little shit in the past few weeks.
"And it doesn't kill brain cells, it dehydrates them. Chronic dehydration and ingesting toxins from cheap alcohol is what causes brain damage in alcoholics." I correct him and he rolls his eyes with a loud sigh, pulling open a cabinet.
"Ugh, whatever. Your liver can't process alcohol forever. Its bad." He pulls down a box of cereal. "I have school in an hour, that's why I'm not sleeping. You'd know that if you weren't up all night drinking and" he looks back at me, frowning when he sees I was already pouring another glass. "moping over those charts."
I shrug, taking another drink. "Not moping..." I add, trailing off as I see a grouping of inconsistent results. I squint before taking my glasses off, Damn I really need a new prescription, and circle the group. "This is just really bothering me, and I don't know why."
Papyrus sits across from me at the table. "Maybe you should ask Alphys?" He suggests, shoveling cereal in his mouth. I grimace at him. "Eat slower, you'll choke. Plus you sound like you're snorting milk."
He rolls eyes eyes and I frown. I was quickly losing my patience for his attitude. He eats slower and I smile a little in relief. "Thank you, you sound civil now." Pap gives me a rare smile and I feel better than I have in weeks.
"Maybe I will call Alphys, that's not a bad idea." I tell him, folding the charts. She's been buried in work since I left. No one really understood why I left so suddenly, but at the same time no one really pressed the issue. It was like a thick cloud was hanging over everyone I knew and no one could figure out why. Maybe I was the dark cloud and they were relieved I was gone?
I laugh darkly at that and take another small drink. Maybe because I was actually grieving the death of a father that I and no one else remembered? The thought alone is exhausting to wrap my brain around. I pinch the brow of my nose before resting the cold glass against my forehead and close my eyes.
"Alcohol is a depressant too, you know." Papyrus tells me.
I'm too tired to snap at him and when I see his worried face I feel too guilty to make an excuse. I force a smile and shove the glass across the table along with the bottle.
"Okay, I hear you now, Papy." I decide I won't drink in front of him anymore and I'm going to make an effort to be a better brother. After all, he was going through a lot too.
He slides out of his chair and hugs me. I'm startled like one of the Dogs getting pet. I recover and embrace him. "I'm sorry I worried you. It won't happen again."
"Promise?"
"Yeah, bro."
*
I wave to Papyrus as he walks into the snow to school. It isn't very far but I still feel a twinge of worry when he's out of sight. Back inside I pull out my phone and look at my contacts.
I have a few unopened messages from some of the other lab assistants, there are a half-dozen from Alphys. She texts at least once a day even though I rarely reply. I open her message stack and scroll through the sporadic, halting texts.
For a moment I'm tempted to text her back...but I've got work to do.
I head to my workshop behind the house with the folded charts under my arm. There was something consistently inconsistent in my timeline readings and I was determined to figure out what it was.
There's a squareish bottle full of honey-colored liquid sitting on the counter. After about two hours of tweaking the program on my computer my head starts to pound unpleasantly. I reach for the bottle and spin the top off to take a swig.
I wince at the burn on my tongue but shake it off. Looking at the read-outs with my left eye doesn't reveal anything new and it makes my head pound harder so I take a few more swigs from the bottle.
My vision is a little fuzzier now, but the ache in my head has stopped. Waiting for the massive computer to re-start is more boring than I expect and I down a few more sips.
Oh. The bottle's half-gone. Whoops.
I shrug and take another drink, quickly setting the bottle down when the monitor flashes to life. I groan, scratching the back of my skull. That didn't clear anything up, it only added more branches.
I flick through the new branches, thinking hard about how I could make the connection to timelines more secure. I open the program window and check my formulas again, tweaking a few more every so often.
My eyelids are feeling heavy when I reach for the bottle again.
"Damn." I breathe, shaking the thick-glass. "Empty."
I let the program close, saving my changes and let the computer reset. I push back from the keyboard and stand, wobbling on the spot.
Drowsily, I shake my head and stumble to the door to head back to the house. I'm a little shocked to see how late it is. Papyrus would've come home hours ago.
I drag myself up the stairs to peek inside his room. He's sleeping soundly in bed, several books stacked on his nightstand. I assume they're school-books and gently shut the door again.
I turn and stumble back down the stairs, leaning heavily on the rail. A large, long yawn makes me pause. I'm tempted to take the bottle from the table and head back down to the lab, but it always takes a while for the computer to restart...and the couch looks so comfy.
I drunkenly flop face-first onto the couch, bouncing a little. With a weak flick of my hand the TV turns on, I frantically turn the volume down and hope Papyrus didn't wake up. It doesn't sound like he's awake so I relax into the cushions.
Sometimes human shows will get picked up down here, mostly crap reality TV or cartoons. But it was a distraction.
I quickly fall asleep.
****
A week later:
"Shit, shit, shit!" I'm frantically searching for my other shoe, only one arm pulled through my coat. I groan in frustration and stand upright. With a quick blast of magic my floor is cleared and I can see my other sneaker half-shoved under the dresser.
"How the fuck did you get over here?" I complain as I shove my foot into it, not bothering to lace it. I scramble down the stairs, pulling my arm through my other sleeve and quickly zip the coat over the fresh coffee-stain on my sweater.
I trip over my laces at the third to last step and fall flat on my face in the living room. I gasp in horror more than pain when I hear a cracking sound.
Fuck.
I stand and wipe a hand across my face. No blood and I'm not dead so there's no more time to waste.
I slam the door behind me and I sprint through the snow to Papyrus' school. Parents and kids are milling around outside, a few are throwing snowballs.
I don't pay attention to them as I dart quickly through the crowd to the door. My sneakers are wet and I slip on the tile inside, gripping the door handle tightly as I nearly do the splits. I'm panting when I find my footing and I grumble down the hall, watching my step as I go.
"Should be a fucking floor mat there for the ones who actually wear shoes in this God-forsaken--!" I shut up when I turn a corner and see Pap sitting dejectedly on a bench outside of the principal's office.
He glances up at me and then back down, folding his arms over his chest.
"Sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my damn shoes and then I fell down the stairs and I think I need snow-boots like yours because I nearly fell again when I got here."
"I told you when parents night was two weeks ago." His frown deepens. I sigh and flop onto the bench beside him. "I know you did, it's on the fridge too. I was just running late today."
He rolls his eyes with a huff. "You're always late, Sans."
I lean against the wall and copy his posture, folding my arms over my chest too and scowling. A begrudging smile pulls at his lips. "Stop it, you look stupid." He says, looking away.
I heave an over-dramatic sigh and roll my eyes. "Ugh, you look stupid, gosh. You just, you just don't understand all my angst Pap!"
Papyrus snickers, still looking away.
"Ha, got you to smile."
"Did not."
Fine. I knew how to make that little jerk laugh. "Ugh, like, whatever. Like why even bother with, ugh, school and adults and shit? No one even knows anything anymore. They're all, ugh, just a bunch of fuckin' idiots." I do my best impersonation of myself at his age and Papyrus is curled over with laughter.
Someone very loudly clears their throat and I grimace in embarrassment when I turn and see the principal leaning out of her office door. A bear couple glares at me as they lumber past. I'm tempted to glare back, but I restrain myself.
The principal is a rabbit monster, she sternly looks at me with a hand on her hip. "You must be, Sans, Papyrus' brother?" One of her eyebrows rises.
I'm certainly not his mother, who else would I be? How many skeletons are there in Snowdin? Two. Me and him.
I force a smile and stand, extending my hand. "Yes, I'm Sans. Sorry you overheard that, just trying to get the little guy to laugh."
She looks hesitantly at my bony hand before shaking it firmly. "Yes, well. I'm obligated to remind you we are still in a school building. I am Cinnamon. I've been waiting to speak with you for some time, I'm afraid."
I anxiously rub the back of my neck. "Sorry about that, I got caught up with work and lost track of time."
"Yes, Papyrus tells me that you do research for the king?"
I glance sideways at Pap. Better than telling everyone his brother was unemployed. I shrug. "Part-time lab assistant. I took less hours when we moved to Snowdin." If Pap wanted to lie, I was going to let him. He'd figure out eventually that you can't tell lies forever.
Cinnamon gives a small smile. "How interesting. Please, come into my office." She gestures me in and I step into her spacious office. I take a seat. "I thought...the kids usually sit in on these too?" I say awkwardly.
She sighs before sitting down at her desk. "That is typically true Mr...?"
"Just Sans. We don't have a sur-name."
She nods. "Sans. That is typically true, but I am...concerned about your brother."
My skin prickles and I clench my fists in my jacket. "Oh?"
"He seems to be taking the move to Snowdin rather hard. And his attendance is less than perfect. His grades are sub-par, though he does have an unusual enthusiasm for learning."
I can feel the fake smile fade from my face.
"I feel like there are some...things at home that could probably be improved upon, for his sake of course." She smiles sickly sweet, interlacing her hands on the desk.
My pulse is hammering and I take a moment before I start speaking. "His grades are sub-par?" I question skeptically, my eyebrows rising.
She shuffles some papers and hands me a folded piece with Pap's name on it. If she'd paid attention, she would already know we have no sur-name. I calmly take the paper from her. Mostly B's, he has a C- in algebra. But he'd always done better with history and writing than math.
"B's are 'sub-par' to you?"
"We expect all our students to excel, to reach their highest potential. Papyrus is simply not reaching his."
I blink, almost physically hurting with the stupidity of her statement. "The kid was transferred in the middle of the semester, B's are more than acceptable. Yeah, he could be getting straight A's but who the fuck am I to be that strict when there's so much changing in his life?"
"Sir, your language is unnecessarily vulgar."
I snort, standing and tucking the report card into my pocket. "I think not. My brother is doing just fine." I hold up my hand when she tries to speak again. "Don't interrupt me, I wasn't finished. He's missed one day because he was sick and he was late three times because I called him back when he left his homework. Do you think that because I'm only his brother I can't take care of him? I love that pain in my ass more than you could understand and I want what's best for him, not what will get him good grades. Don't you dare pressure him with your bullshit standards."
She's staring blankly back at me when I jerk her door open. "Good night, Principal Cinnamon."
I slam the door hard enough that the glass trembles in its frame. "C'mon Pap, let's meet your teachers." I say brightly.
His mouth is open when I smile down at him. He shakes himself and jumps to his feet. "Okay! I want you to meet my English teacher first! She's my favorite." To my pleasant surprise he takes my hand and pulls me down the hall.
Ugh, this little shit... I loved him. No one got to pick on him but me, because no one else could tease him without hurting his feelings.
*
By the time we walk back to the house I'm exhausted. It took a surprising amount of effort to be social and pleasant. I approved of his teachers, and chastised myself for not meeting them sooner. His algebra teacher wasn't upset with his grade and told me how impressed he was with his work ethic. Apparently he'd been staying after school to get tutored.
I hadn't even noticed he was coming home late.
Papyrus squeezes my hand, shaking it to bring me out of my reverie. I smile down at him. "Awfully affectionate tonight." I say.
He shrugs. "Thanks for coming. I know you didn't really want to."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because you don't like other people."
I laugh at his astute observation. "While that's mostly true, I do like a few people. And you're my little brother. Gotta make sure you're 'reaching your true potential'."
He snorts at my impression and pulls his hand away. I tuck mine into my coat. "You drift sometimes, you know. Lost in thought."
I nod.
We walk for a little longer in silence, the snow crunches under our shoes. That calm stillness surrounds us in the way that only snow can.
"If you want, I could help with your Algebra." I offer, feeling like shit that I didn't pay more attention to him lately.
Pap shakes his head with a laugh. "No way. You can't talk at a level I get. And I don't mean cause you're older, I mean cause you're a physicist. You can't help it, you just explain it in ways that go right over my head. Mr. Starfall can explain it simply, straightforward."
"Oh. I didn't realize I did that."
He shrugs. "Its fine, Sans. It's just you."
That stung a little. "I...I don't make you feel stupid, do I?"
Papyrus groans. "Ugh. No. Why, do you think I'm stupid?" He snaps.
"I didn't say that!"
"So you do think I'm stupid!"
I blink hard, not understanding where he got that idea. "No, I don't think you're stupid, Papyrus. I just meant I hoped I never made you feel like that."
He growls in frustration. "Why, because you're a genius you can't manage a conversation without talking down to someone? You know, it was kind of cool that you put the principal in her place but you didn't have to be a dick about it."
Did I talk down to people?
"Do...I do that a lot?"
Papyrus angrily shakes his head and storms off toward the house. It's only a hundred feet away now. I close my eyes with a weary sigh and let him continue on his own. I didn't have the energy to argue with him, no matter what I said it wouldn't make a difference.
I couldn't seem to do anything right lately.
*
I wince as I take a long drink from my bottle. Leaning closer to the mirror I gently prod the fresh crack around my right eye-socket.
My eye had swollen a bit, but the difference between my sockets was negligible. Probably no one really noticed at the parents night.
I take another drink and sit on the bathroom counter to get a better look at my eye. "Wish I had healin' magic. All I've gots' this nigh useless time magic." I say a little drunkenly to myself.
"Wait."
I look down at my left hand and urge the flow of magic in my veins to concentrate in my fingertips. They spark, gold and blue for a moment before a dim blue mist clings to them. I turn to the mirror and gingerly touch the crack beneath my eye, letting the magic press into my invisible swollen skin.
"Come on, turn back." I impatiently urge.
I gasp when it works. The small crack quickly fades and the swelling is gone. The effort to revert just a small part of the injury drains me instantly and I slump against the mirror, barely managing to catch my bottle before it's knocked off the counter.
I pant hard, my breath fogging the mirror, and smile smugly at my reflection.
"Go me." I say as toast myself before taking a small sip.
After a few moments I set the bottle down, spinning the cap securely in place. I wobble on my feet when I stand and stow the bottle under the sink before shuffling to my bed in the next room.
I flop gracelessly onto the mattress and instantly fall asleep.
****
Darkness. Everywhere I turn it's dark. I scream into the nothing and it screams back.
I turn, running desperately.
A tall figure looms menacingly out of nowhere.
I fall flat on my ass in terror, scrambling back frantically.
The figure blinks out of existence and appears inches from my face. I'm too scared to make any sound.
One eye works, the other looks fused shut in the plain white face. Its smile has cracks spreading from the edges. There are deep cracks above its closed eye and below the open one, a light pulses beneath them.
An icy sensation crawls down my spine when garbled words spill from its mouth. It leans even closer, the voice sounds angry.
I jump when hands appear and hold my face tight. A jolting energy rolls through my brain and I can suddenly understand its words.
"L O O K W H A T Y O U ' V E D O N E T O M E S A N S ! ! !"
*
I wake up screaming and sit up, fighting the bed sheets. "NO!" I'm drenched in sweat, my shirt clings to me uncomfortably.
I pant hard as I try to calm down.
"Sans?!" Pap yells from down the hall. I can hear his frantic footsteps before he throws open my door.
"Sans! I heard you scream!" He stares at me for a moment before he hesitantly steps into the room. "You uh weren't doing anything...gross, were you?"
I laugh at the unexpected question and run a hand over my sweaty face. "Because I'd tell you if I was, pervert." I joke back.
He rolls his eyes but smiles a little. "Bad dream?" He asks, sitting on the edge of the bed.
I've finally caught my breath and nod. "Yeah. Sorry I woke you."
He shrugs and doesn't seem to know where to look. "I've been having some nightmares lately too. I think it's the move." He says.
I smile tiredly, feeling bad for putting the kid through so much crap in the past few weeks. "You're probably right." I lie convincingly.
Pap stands before he awkwardly hugs me. "Get some rest, brother. You need it." He says before shutting the door and walking quickly back to his room.
I stare at the door for a long moment before I try to go back to sleep.