Chapter Text
It was August. It was all August’s fault and his parents were ready to cover it all up just to protect August. He couldn’t trust his parents, and he most certainly couldn’t trust August.
Erik told him that August was the one person he could trust, but it was all his fault.
Erik.
Erik was the one person he could trust, but he was gone, dead.
Wille couldn’t handle it. He was alone. He had gone his whole life trusting no one but his brother, and for good reason it seems. He really can’t trust anyone. Even when he thought he found the one other person he could truly trust, August ruined it. Simon wouldn’t even look his way. He was itching for Christmas break to come sooner, he had to get out of there, but he couldn’t face his parents, how could he?
He wished he could call Erik, and they could spend hours talking about everything and nothing at the same time.
He gave it one last shot, “I love you,” and he meant it, whether this was the last time they’d see each other, or not, Wille wanted him to know it. Simon meant everything to him, no one could replace that. “I’m sorry,” he quietly added at the last second. He wasn’t sure what exactly he was apologizing for, his past actions, or his future actions. Maybe both, it should probably be both, although maybe his future actions will come as a relief for him.
“Have a nice Christmas,”
Wille went sixteen years without making friends, without trusting anyone. He hated that he now knew what he was missing all this time because now, it hurt too much to go back.
A part of Wille broke. He had spent years building up a wall, and with one smile, Simon managed to break it down, and now, he had no protective barrier. He felt naked, exposed to the human eye, as he walked away, walking back to his dorm to grab his bags to go back to the palace. He wished he could just remain in his dorm for the rest of the break, but Hilliska made all boarding students go home because the kitchens wouldn’t be open for the next two weeks.
He wished to get away from his guards. It was bad enough that he constantly had wandering eyes on him, but guards trailed his every move. He had no privacy, that much was made clear when his sex tape got released publicly by his own cousin.
He grabbed his bag filled clothes—because he was not going to spend his last hours in one of his horrible suits that his mother picked out. At the top of his bag, he put Erik’s frog prince snow globe, the same snow globe that Wille remembered admiring on Erik’s shelf whilst growing up. It was the last thing he gave him, he could at least take it with him.
He was brought out of his trance when there was a knock on his door, Mailin telling him the car was out front for him.
He took a deep breath. He would soon be free of pain.
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The car ride was long, not because of the time, but because he was waiting in anticipation. Maybe he could get into the palace without having to see his parents. He didn’t want to draw this out, he couldn’t risk backing out.
He would spend the evening in his room, missing dinner due to ‘exhaustion’, and then once his parents have definitely gone to bed, he would post an explanation post on all of his social media platforms, making sure his voice is being heard, hopefully controlling at least some of the narrative. He probably shouldn’t care so much about what other people thought and said once he was gone, but something in him was telling him to be honest, his anxiety can’t stop him if there will be no consequences, because he’ll be gone.
His music is interrupted by the car door opening. They arrived.
He got out of the car, grabbing his bag before any of the guards could, he was capable of carrying his own backpack, and walked towards the door of the palace, being greeted by more security. He entered the palace for the last time, just like Erik had once done. Next time he’d leave it would be in a body bag. That was a bone chilling thought.
It was ironic. He’d die in the same place he had spent the past sixteen years dying to escape.
What would happen when he is gone? August would take his spot as crowned prince, does that mean he’ll eventually move into the palace? Would he sit in his spot at the dinner table? His parents had refused for anyone to sit in Erik’s spot after he had passed, but surely they wouldn’t do the same for him, he was different.
His heart was racing the whole walk to his room, he didn’t relax until he was safely locked behind his door. He tried not to dwell too much on what his plan was, he didn’t want to risk regretting his plan, it had to end like this, he couldn’t face another person, he couldn’t risk losing or hurting anyone else.
He wondered what Simon was doing. He was probably hanging out with Rosh and Ayub right now, they were probably talking about Wilhelm and Simon’s last interaction, or maybe Wille is being self absorbed, assuming Simon was thinking of him. It was more likely that they were playing video games and laughing. Wille hated how jealous he was of Rosh and Ayub’s relationship with Simon, he wanted that, even if he couldn’t have a romantic relationship with the boy, he wished that they could have at least kept their friendship. His heart ached. He couldn’t wait for that to stop.
Only a couple more hours and it would all go away.
What was he supposed to do until then? He needed to do something to distract himself until then, he had to stop counting down the hours.