Chapter Text
Pain floods Niragi’s chest as he struggles to draw in a raspy breath, staring up at the sky from where he’s sprawled out on the asphalt. He’s familiar with the agonizing sensation; he’s even come to be familiar with the feeling of choking on the blood that threatens to drown him with each breath. He’s managed to drag himself this far through the second stage of the games despite all his suffering. The pain has become an irrefutable reminder that he is still alive when many others are not. Pain, at least, is the one thing that never seems to leave Niragi’s life. It might change its shape – sometimes metal bats and cruel words, sometimes a pretty blonde with condescending eyes, sometimes burns and blisters – but it is always there. Lurking, waiting.
It’s not surprising to be in agony any more. It hasn’t been for a long time even before the fire. But he has to hand it to Chishiya; the man certainly had given him a whole new perspective of the kind of pain that a person could endure. His labored breaths feel loud in the strange quietness of the empty city.
He had never imagined a peaceful death. Never pictured growing old and dying peacefully in bed or surrounded by family. It wasn’t that he had any specific thoughts on how he’d die, (a few guesses? Sure, but who didn’t?), but peaceful had never been a word he’d pin to those contemplations. Then again, Niragi can’t really imagine the last time he truly had a solid plan with his life. ( Lies. He can. But in a way it’s easier to pretend otherwise. ) But the fact he’s made it so close to the end just to fall short is aggravating beyond belief.
He’s not surprised that Arisu didn’t finish the job with killing him either. Pathetic. Or maybe it’s some sort of karmic retribution from the universe. The thought makes he want to laugh but he’s too tired. There’s no show to put on anymore.
Chishiya might have pulled the trigger if he were still standing. But he might also have left just to let Niragi suffer, like a cat pulling apart an insect till it grows disinterested and wanders away. All while the insect writhes in agony until it drags itself away or dies.
“ Your breathing is annoying. “
Speaking of the demon.
Niragi turns his head and heaves a violent cough, blood coating the inside of his mouth as he spits out another mouthful that splatters beside him. He can see Chishiya now not too far away. He’s no longer laying on the ground where he’d collapsed earlier. The man has managed to somehow push himself to sitting in an upright position, slumped back against one of the cars while his gaze stares up towards the remaining blimp. His white hoodie is stained in red and Niragi feels a moment of satisfaction before it fades away far too fast. He should be thrilled; he should gloat and be smug about dragging Chishiya down to die on the street just like he is. But he isn’t happy.
“ Your voice is annoying. “ Niragi manages to force the words from his ruined throat. He tastes smoke and blood every time he breathes.
Chishiya’s dark eyes turn away from the skies above to fall onto him and Niragi can’t seem to look away. There’s something strange in his stare, something that looks out of place on Chishiya’s expression in a way Niragi can’t quite pin down. Then again, the man had just confessed a few minutes prior to what Niragi had known all along. About being so fucking empty and how it weighed on him. Niragi’s more stunned at the fact no one else seemed to catch on to what was so glaringly obvious to him. Not that he’s upset at the idea no one else has noticed. He finds himself rather possessive over that fact, a devious thread of satisfaction. But right now, the look on Chishiya’s face is just….strange. Not bad. But strange.
“ Oh? You’re actually conscious. “ Chishiya’s eyes narrow and Niragi’s more relieved than irritated to see a familiar reaction from him. He doesn’t want to do the whole changing and being better bullshit that Arisu had been rambling about. “ How annoying. “
Niragi licks his bloodied, dry lips and flashes a dark smile Chishiya’s way. “ Gotta piss you off, Chishiya. Of fucking course I’m still conscious. “ And Chishiya was still talking, which was just as annoying in his opinion. “ You won’t even let me die in peace, so you don’t get to either. “
Everything hurts more than it ever has before and Niragi groans as he shifts onto his side and hacks up another mouthful of blood. Even without the shotgun blast, Niragi knew he didn’t have much longer. That was the whole damn point of this all. Chishiya had been so quick to indulge him, to agree to the shootout even though the man can’t to shit with a gun as he’s learned. That means nothing. It has to mean nothing. It can’t mean anything.
“ Stop moving, idiot. “ Chishiya’s voice seems like it fills the empty street. “ You’re barely holding on as it is. The more you move, the worse you’re going to make your injuries. “
Niragi laughs, feeling the sound reverberate in his throat more than he truly hears it. “ Spoken as if you didn’t cause most of it! I’m going to fucking move if I want whether you like it or not. “
It’s more spite than desire that drives him to move more than he originally planned. Chishiya said not to move? Fuck the guy, he was going to just to prove he somehow could against all odds. It’s not easy though. His limbs don’t seem to want to coordinate with him anymore beyond small motions. What would have once been one fluid motion becomes several small motions. Niragi struggles to prop himself up and tunes out whatever Chishiya is saying to focus. Move. Maybe he should drag himself over to Chishiya and strangle him to death. It’s only fair.
Niragi eyes the distance that separates them while Chishiya says something that he completely ignores. He can make. He will make that. It’s not too far. Niragi grips onto the grass and broken asphalt and drags himself forwards while pushing with his knees to help cover more ground. He can feel rocks and asphalt digging into the fabric covering his knees and palms; the fabric does little to cushion or protect his already ruined body. He swallows down the insane laughter bubbling in his chest. It hurts. It hurts! But who gives a shit? He struggles to breathe with each pull but he keeps breathing and keeps moving.
He’s halfway there before he abruptly becomes aware of the fact that Chishiya has stopped talking. When had that happened? He stops moving. His chest tightens at the realization and he looks up sharply, wondering if he’s going to find Chishiya’s lifeless eyes or slumped over form. Instead, he finds that the platinum blonde is staring at him – it seems like he’s finally got it through his head that Niragi’s not listening. The tightness in his chest slowly unwinds itself and Niragi forcefully pulls himself closer, leaving a trail of blood behind him. He’ll make it. Just like he made it through the fire, just like he made it through the king of clubs game. He’ll make it because he has to.
The gap between them grows less and less as Niragi pushes forward with his head down like some kind of monster out of a nightmare. Hunting, restless, persistent. But even he has his limits. His limbs finally buckle and give out beneath him and he collapses into a heap, blood trickling from his mouth as he shudders through another agonizing breath.
It isn’t hot asphalt that greets the side of his face like he had expected when he collapses. It’s not cool grass either, or anything else he would have expected. He feels smooth fabric that is unpleasantly hot from the sun and the subtler warmth of another body. He hears a grunt followed by silence. Niragi knows exactly where he’s at even without opening his eyes. He has to be on Chishiya’s lap, against his stomach. He doesn’t bother to open his eyes yet. It’s silent. He does feel a hand rest atop his brittle, burnt hair. It stays there, stagnant and contemplative before it starts to move. Tentative, as if somehow it might hurt or break off, before it grows a bit steadier and certain. Niragi lets time slip away. Seconds, minutes, hours. It no longer matters.
“ We don’t have much time left, huh? “ Chishiya finally speaks, calm as always.
Niragi slowly blinks, letting his mind come back to all the aching pain of the present rather than drifting. The world is a lot more orange than it was before – it must be sunset. He doesn’t say anything. What is there to say? Chishiya doesn’t seem to mind his silence. His fingers are still in Niragi’s hair, still running through the smoldering remains of Niragi’s form like fingers in the ashen remains of an inferno. His rage has sputtered, and the exhaustion in the wake of anger has finally taken hold.
To his surprise, Chishiya speaks again.
“ I guess I had fun. “ Niragi’s dry lips part but Chishiya continues on as if whatever he intends to say will never be said if he stops. “ Thank you for playing with me. ” His voice quiets only then, softer with his next words. “ Niragi…”
Hearing the admission brings a new weight to the situation; it makes reality suddenly feel more present as it presses down on him. We don’t have much time left. Niragi isn’t afraid of dying. But the weight of Chishiya’s words is uncomfortable. He doesn’t know what to do with them. Of course Chishiya would wait until they’re almost dead to say anything. Running until the end. He might have said them like he’d say anything else, but the timing of him finally speaking up reveals more than Niragi thinks Chishiya wants for it to.
( And there’s the softness of his name on Chishiya’s lips…)
A sharp pang of agony fills his chest and throat when he tries to say something and Chishiya says something along the lines that he shouldn’t bother. Save his energy, as if that’s going to do anything. They don’t have much time and he’s not about to start listening the other man now. He swallows and winces before his tongue finally moves and he finds his voice.
“ See you in hell, idiot. “
Chishiya honest to god laughs. It’s a weak, exhausted noise, but he’s laughing and Niragi thinks it might be one of the best sounds he’s ever heard. It’s not his mocking snort or degrading laugh. The kind of noise that claws its way under your skin and gnaws at your confidence and lingers hours and weeks after you’ve heard it. The laugh now is just a proper, amused laugh. At least until Niragi can feel Chishiya’s body shake under him and hear the wet, choking sounds he’s all too familiar with from personal experience. He doesn’t need to look up from Chishiya’s lap to know that Chishiya’s just coughed up blood.
“ You promise? “
Niragi barely manages to lift his head up, just enough to turn his head so he can lift his eyes and meet Chishiya’s. “ I’ll be the first thing you see in hell, bastard. I swear it. Before any demon or other wretched soul. I’ll be the one to greet you. “ He pushes as much venom as he can into his words but it falls flat. He doesn’t have the energy, and angry words don’t have the same effect when you’re lay on your enemy’s lap. His head drops back down.
“ Being stuck with you for eternity really would be awful. “ Chishiya sounds amused and Niragi merely grunts in annoyed acknowledgement.
“ That’s why it is called hell. “
It grows more and more difficult to keep his eyes open and harder to understand what’s going around him. Every second passing by feels like it requires more and more effort to stay focused, to stay coherent and keep his thoughts from fraying at the edges. But his thoughts and his focus still are, try as he might to stay right here. Even the pain isn’t quite enough to draw his fully attention. The fingers in his hair are doing a lot though. He tries to say something, tries to form words. He can’t though. He tries and he can’t. He just feels Chishiya tugging him closer until he’s pressed against his stomach. His hands at least obey him as they slowly move in the space between the car and Chishiya’s back to wrap around him. To clutch onto him like driftwood in the ocean.
Niragi never thought he’d die peacefully. But he had been confident in the thought that he would die alone. The first time he’d had that thought that when he was younger laying in a broken, bleeding mess after another day of bullying. The thought had followed him as he’d grown older and gotten a job in some struggling company. He’d thought that as he made it to the Borderlands. Where Chishiya was empty, Niragi had always felt like he was choking on intensity. But they both had thought they were alone. At least until they were here. But even then, even then, he had wondered. He had expected.
But he’s not alone. Chishiya’s here.
It’s an unexpected turn that is just as twisted as they are to be dying together in mutual destruction. At least they have each other if no one else. And there is no one else.
“ Niragi… “
One eye opens as he feels Chishiya’s fingertips brush over his cheek, over raw and disgusting flesh. But Niragi can’t feel Chishiya flinch, can’t see any disgust even if he’s as rotten outside as he is inside now. Chishiya’s looking at him as if he still looked like how he did before the fucker got him with a flamethrower. Chishiya is still so flawless even with the bullet wounds that it makes him want to do something to change that. But he can’t. He doesn’t even know what he’d do if he could. ( Deep down, he doesn’t even know if he’d really want to do anything. )
His eye falls shut again. He can’t taste the blood in his mouth anymore or feel the summer heat. That’s definitely not a good sign. But he can feel Chishiya’s touch still. He can hear the death rattle in Chishiya’s breathing that’s grown more prevalent. Niragi doesn’t exactly want to beat Chishiya in this nor does he want to be the last. There’s not much he can do.
Thank you for playing with me. Niragi wants to scoff, but the words still offer a flicker of weak, fragile warmth to something he thought was dead in his chest. He wouldn’t care if anyone else said it. He’d probably spit at them for trying. But coming from Chishiya, it meant something. He swallows harshly at the thought that refuses to leave the forefront of his mind.
It’s not a sentiment that Chishiya is alone in feeling. Niragi doesn’t think any of his experiences or his time in the Borderlands would have been nearly as interesting if Chishiya hadn’t shown up at the Beach one day with his cunning glance and vexing smirk. It doesn’t matter that he knows he would likely be better off if they’d never met. He wouldn’t have burned. He might’ve lived. He hates the other man and yet can’t imagine a version of this world without him either. He’s not sure he’d even want that if it did exist. Even if that was a universe where everything was perfect.
Because in that perfect world, he’d be alone.
He’s not alone here.
“ I thought you said you didn’t want to be alone. “ Chishiya’s voice sounds further away, and Niragi can’t open his eyes when he tries. He can’t do anything. He can just feel Chishiya clutching onto him.
Niragi can almost here the unspoken idiot in Chishiya’s tone, except Chishiya’s voice sounds breathier than he’s ever heard it, like he’s struggling to keep his voice steady.
He still feels one of Chishiya’s hands on the back of his head, curled into his hair, but the other moves to grab one of his hands. He’s still clinging to Chishiya, fingers stiff and curled into the hoodie. But Chishiya’s fingers slip between his to anchor them together rather than pull his grip away.
“ Don’t go. “
Don’t go. Don’t leave me alone. That’s what his words really are.
It’s rather funny to hear that from the man who set him on fire. But hadn’t he had the exact same thought as he had made his way towards the center of the city and to the last blimp, hoping he’d cross paths with Chishiya again? Don’t be dead. He was confident Chishiya would make it to the end because he was Chishiya. But even so the thought had circled in his head because Chishiya’s nonchalance wasn’t good when that King of Spades was still running around. He had to find him again. He hated and he needed and he wanted. Now he’s hearing it echoed back at him. It’s Chishiya’s plea. He wonders if Chishiya’s finally figured it out himself or not.
He doesn’t need to do anything.
But he does.
Niragi tries to focus all his energy on his hand and his fingers. He barely manages a weak squeeze. Or he thinks he does. He’s not sure. But he assumes he does because of the little noise he barely hears Chishiya make at the same time. Maybe all he does is get his fingers twitch, but either way there’s a message. He’s still here, just barely.
He doesn’t really care about the last game anymore. Doesn’t care about this world or the other world. Sure, he’d prefer not dying but that seems too late.
Chishiya’s fingers are cold and he can barely hear Chishiya’s shaky breath. It won’t be long, and he’d made a promise to greet Chishiya. So he better make good on that promise, or the bastard wouldn’t let him live it down. He finally lets himself let go, to let the darkness come and drag him down into its endless depths.
See you in hell.