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"I brought us tuna onigiri," Akutagawa says, neither his voice nor his face betraying any emotions.
Atsushi barely stops himself from letting out a yelp. There is no reason to be afraid, at least he doesn't think so. This man fought with him. This man died for him. This man remembered his promise even when he couldn't remember who he was himself. Almost as if the turbulent way their relationship had started back in that alleyway doesn't matter anymore.
Still, it's far from what Atsushi expects, because there's no danger, so Akutagawa has no reason to come by. He should be at his place. He should be with his sister, with his Mafia friends (does Akutagawa even have those?). He has no reason to come to him anymore.
Atsushi takes a deep, shaky breath. His skinny body is still blocking the doorway.
"Why?"
Akutagawa holds up a brown paper bag, almost as if he wanted to prove that there is nothing else going on about this entire ordeal.
"I was close by, and the onigiri shop was open. It looked good."
Atsushi draws his eyebrows together and tilts his head to a side. If Akutagawa managed to hold on to his no-kill vow even when reduced to a mindless beast, he's unlikely to just snap now, isn't he?
"Fine, get in," he steps aside.
Akutagawa bows his head, ever so slightly, and discards his shoes in the genkan. For a moment, his fingers tether at the top button of his coat, then they shake a little and move away, quickly as if trying to avoid a burn. Atsushi doesn't say a thing, but he watches any movement, before realizing that he can't tell whether he's doing that because he's watching out for any perceived danger or because he just enjoys looking at Akutagawa.
Before he even realizes what's going on, he's handed the bag. Akutagawa doesn't say a thing. Actually, the entire time they're eating, he doesn't say a thing. They're just sitting on the floor, stuffing their mouths with onigiri.
In a way, it feels nice. In a way, Atsushi starts to consider that he wouldn't mind that becoming a regular occurrence.
Atsushi can feel the rice getting stuck in his teeth. He wants to ask Akutagawa if it's really the only reason he came, but he doesn't think there's a way to ask that that won't make it seem weird, so he just never does.
In the end, Akutagawa leaves without as much as a goodbye, and Atsushi doesn't expect it to be brought up ever again.
Lucy storms up to his desk and appears pissed off. Atsushi flinches, raises his arms to cover up his head, and starts thinking of all the things that might have set her off. Was it something he did during the entire Decay Of Angel incident? Was it not checking up with her after it was over? Fuck, he should have checked with her afterward, but it's too late now.
Atsushi shivers when she slams her hands against the desk.
"Listen, you twerp, some weirdo is sitting at the café I work in and refuses to leave or order anything until he sees you, so you're either going there yourself, or I'm dragging you myself by that stupidly long belt. God help me!"
Atsushi presses his back into the chair, almost as if it could make him disappear. Of course, it doesn't, and Lucy just appears even more mad. He tries desperately to draw air into his lungs, but he can't manage to speak, his lips just soundlessly move.
Lucy seems annoyed at this. Her frown deepens, and she grabs him by the shoulders. Even Kunikida doesn't dare to get in her way.
Atsushi barely manages not to trip on the stairs as he's being dragged to the Uzumaki café. He freezes in the doorway. Akutagawa is sitting in one of the corner tables, impatiently tapping his fingers against the countertop with the open menu right before him, even if he doesn't appear to be particularly interested in it.
Lucy drags him to the table and shoves him forwards, making him nearly trip.
"Here's your kitten. Hope you at least tip for the effort!" she snaps.
For a moment, Akutagawa looks nearly surprised, but then he nods. He appears much calmer than Atsushi would expect him to be.
"What would you like to order, Weretiger?"
"Uhh, I- I don't know. I didn't expect you to be here or want to see me or-" finally he takes a deep breath, "Why?"
Lucy rolls her eyes, almost as if she knows something Atsushi doesn't, but she stays silent. Akutagawa answers instead.
"I wanted to see you, and the location seemed convenient. Now, what do you want to order?"
Atsushi can feel his face grow at least a bit pink. Akutagawa is more straightforward than he would have expected and likely more straightforward than it's considered appropriate.
"Uhh… I guess I'll take a cup of regular coffee then."
He sits down. Akutagawa nods again and turns to Lucy.
"You've heard him, right? One coffee and a cup of green tea. With three spoons of sugar."
For some reason Lucy smiles under her breath.
The Armed Detective Agency is requested to assist on an attempted bombing site. Atsushi and Kunikida are supposed to neutralize the bombs, and then Ranpo is supposed to go in and find who the culprit is. This day Atsushi learns that Dazai is banned from all missions that involve defusing bombs since he almost set one off on purpose. He isn't really surprised by that.
They arrive at the building, and Ranpo waits in Kunikida's car. He's instructed not to eat any snacks because Kunikida doesn't want to deal with crumbs and wrappers. Atsushi doubts he'll listen, and the look on Kunikida's face only assures him.
He was chosen for this task because of his regenerative abilities, and Kunikida for his experience. Still, when he kneels in front of the bomb, he can feel his heart banging against the constraints of his chest. Even with Kunikida's directions, his hands get sweaty, and it takes all his willpower to keep them from shaking.
He transforms one of his fingers into a claw.
"Cut the blue wire," Kunikida says, and Atsushi does so.
And then suddenly the bomb gets picked up by something and thrown out of the window. The explosion blast shatters the windowpanes, but before the shards hit him, his vision is obscured by blackness.
The next thing Atsushi hears is a cough. In that very moment, he realizes that the blackness stretching in front of him is the material of Rashoumon. He turns around to see Akutagawa standing in the doorway, his face a little paler than usual and his dark eyes switching rapidly between glaring at Kunikida and looking at Atsushi with what nearly seems like a concern.
"Did neither of you two imbeciles bother to check the model?" he scoffs coldly, "Or were you trying to get yourself blown up on purpose?"
"And what are you doing here anyway?!" Atsushi snaps back at him.
"I was just passing by and noticed the so-called World's Greatest Detective eating potato chips in the back of the car, so I decided to investigate a little on my own."
"That asshole," Kunikida mutters angrily, his face growing red.
"I thought you expected that to happen…?" Atsushi asks shyly.
Akutagawa listens in to their conversation, looking as if he was about to roll his eyes, but his expression immediately changes the moment Atsushi looks at him, a cold mask that barely manages to hide his feelings, just enough that Atsushi has no idea what he's thinking.
"And why did you decide to help us?"
"You're such a fool."
Akutagawa lets out a theatrically loud sigh before turning around and leaving. Atsushi wants to ask him to wait, but in the end his throat twists, and before he manages to get a single sound out, Akutagawa is gone, and he can only hear Kunikida muttering a full of swearing rant about Ranpo and his disrespect towards Kunikida's car.
A few relatively normal days later (Kenji came in covered in blood, claiming he needed to help a cow give birth and didn't have time to change or wash if he wanted to make it to the train on time, Dazai tried to overdose on the pills Yosano brought, but they turned out to be vitamin B3 supplements, nothing that unusual about either of those), Atsushi is walking home from a crime scene he and Tanizaki had to investigate.
The weather is horrible. The dark clouds circle above him, pouring the thick, heavy rain onto the world below. Atsushi's hair and clothes and hair stick to his body, almost as if he were walking through a giant shower. And yeah, sure, it feels horrible, but it's not like he has much choice. At least not until a sleek, black car pulls up right next to him and the door opens.
"Weretiger," Akutagawa says coldly, looking right through him from the backseat of the car, "Are you going to stand there like a soaking wet cat, or are you planning on getting in?"
Atsushi sways on his legs and thinks about his options for a moment, but then he climbs into the car. For a brief moment, he's sure that he can see a shadow of a smile on Akutagawa's face as he turns around and instructs the driver to drive to the Agency's dorms.
He sneaks a glance at how calm Akutagawa appears before his eyes wander to his hand placed in the space between the seats. An intrusive thought prods at his mind - to put his own hand over it. But in the end, the intrusive thought remains an intrusive thought, and he doesn't move.
After a moment of silence, Atsushi twitches in his seat and leans his head against the window.
"I've been seeing you a lot lately."
"Is it really such a weird occurrence to you?" Akutagawa shrugs in response, "We live in the same city."
"It's a very big city," Atsushi points out.
Out of the corner of his eyes, he can see Akutagawa frown, appearing nearly embarrassed.
"It's not that important. If you keep questioning it, I'll consider kicking you out of the car."
Atsushi replies with a sigh but doesn't ask any more questions. Sure, in this one case, it could be a genuinely accidental meeting, but bringing him food and forcing him to meet him in the coffee shop and going off on his own to investigate the area he saw Ranpo in and on top of that saving him and Kunikida from the explosion? Those seemed much less accidental. And yet he doesn't find the courage to ask about anything. Maybe he's afraid of the answer. It makes for a really awkward ride.
Atsushi doesn't remember the last time he felt so alone in the apartment. Kyouka left with Kenji earlier that day because he promised to show her the baby calf, and suddenly every noise, even if it's just the electrical installation buzzing, seems so loud and overwhelming.
He heats up some of yesterday's soup and tries not to think about anything, but his mind seems drawn to a certain image of a man clad in black, holding a bag with onigiri. The only thing he knows is that it's not about onigiri. He tries to eat, and for a brief moment wonders whether he'll be able to sleep tonight.
Of course, he would probably end up dwelling on it, but a loud bang against his door brings him to reality. Atsushi jumps in his seat with a yelp, but then immediately runs for the door, his arms turning into tiger's limbs as he opens the door.
"Akutagawa?" he gasps.
The man looks up at him, holding his arm against his skinny body. Blood drips on the floor. He draws his lips into a thin line and stares at Atsushi with those dark, desperate eyes that always seem to say more than his mouth does.
"You're hurt."
"What an astute observation, Weretiger," Akutagawa says coldly, not quite managing to hide the pain in his voice.
Even more blood drips down. Atsushi is not that good at judging the severity of wounds, it's probably a mix of his disdain for bloodshed and his own regenerative abilities, but every time he sees blood, he finds himself panicking, even if just a little.
"Do you need to go to a hospital? Or, uh, I could call Dr. Yosano," he says, stumbling on his words.
Akutagawa shakes his head and lets out a quiet cough.
"That will be unnecessary, but I'd like to request some bandages."
Atsushi is just about to turn around and head for the cabinet when he freezes. This time, he finds it in himself to as a question.
"Why?"
Akutagawa simply raises his wounded arm. The sleeve of his coat is wet from the blood soaking into it, and probably the only reason that it's even in one piece is because Akutagawa used his ability to repair it.
"No, that's not what I'm asking. Why did you come to me out of all people?"
Akutagawa lets out a sigh and leans against the door frame. His face appears slightly paler than usual, and it makes Atsushi's stomach twist. It must be the blood loss.
"It was close. I don't see why I would need any other reason."
Atsushi lets out a sigh but sinks back into his apartment, Akutagawa following behind him like a shadow, before heavily sliding into one of his chairs.
"Can you show me where you're bleeding from?" Atsushi asks softly, holding bandages and disinfectant in a spray bottle.
Akutagawa takes a deep breath but nods. Even though he appears rather displeased about this, he takes off his coat and his blood-soaked shirt. He stares at Atsushi, clearly trying to put on a brave face, but Atsushi knows him just too well not to notice his embarrassment.
He gently grabs Akutagawa's arm and looks at the wound. It doesn't appear nearly as bad as it initially did, and he's pretty sure that whatever first aid he can provide will be enough.
"It will sting a little."
"Yeah, I know," Akutagawa grumbles in response.
Still, he doesn't even flinch when Atsushi sprays the disinfectant into the wound before wrapping the bandages around his upper arm.
"It's pretty late, and you've lost quite some blood," Atsushi says, and after a moment of hesitation, adds, "Would you mind staying the night?"
Akutagawa seems to consider it for a moment, but in the end, he nods. It takes Atsushi a moment to realize that he is smiling.
For some reason that even he can't figure out, Atsushi is surprised that he is the first to wake up, and even though usually he's quick to get dressed, this morning he spends a minute or two just lying on his side and watching Akutagawa sleep. He looks so peaceful with his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted, wearing Atsushi's spare pajamas, and Atsushi doesn't doubt that he could spend hours watching him like that.
But in the end he gets up and starts trying to make some scrambled eggs for breakfast. The apartment is just as silent as it was the previous evening, but this time, the silence feels calming. That is, until it is disturbed by the sound of startled footsteps as Akutagawa enters the kitchen, his breathing is heavy, and the expression of his face shows nothing but panic.
He looks at Atsushi and takes a deep breath, almost as if he was trying to calm himself down. Atsushi wants to ask if there's something wrong, but before he manages to make a sound, Akutagawa closes the distance between them, wraps his arms around Atsushi's stomach and rests his head against his shoulder.
And suddenly, everything makes sense.
"Ah, so that's what all of it was about," Atsushi whispers, half to Akutagawa and half to himself, "You couldn't stand the idea of being away from me."
Akutagawa takes a deep, ragged breath.
"No, you don't understand anything, Weretiger. You don't understand how on that boat I thought I could lose you, and that seemed much worse than death ever did."
Atsushi bows his head with a bitter smile because he understands everything.