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“Kate Bishop. Why don’t we get married?”
It was that question that made Kate do an honest-to-god spit take in the middle of the dinner party. Spitting champagne all over her waiter, who seemed oddly indifferent to the gesture.
Though there was very little ordinary about this particular "waiter."
Yelena was a master spy and a master of disguise, but not, it seems, a master of American social customs. Such as the fact it was odd for a waiter to address a guest so casually - and odder still to stand still, waiting for an answer to the question even after the guest sprinkled you in alcohol.
“I. We’re not dating?” Kate stammered out in a hushed whisper, trying not to make too much of a scene.
“So?” Yelena replied simply, pulling out a napkin from her back pocket and helping Kate clean up her dress, evidently having less care for the state of her own black suit.
“Well, dating is usually something you do before you get married,” Kate explained.
“Why?”
“Because. It is? Marriage is about romance? That kind of romantic bond that isn't like any other?”
“Why?”
“Because… it just is.”
Yelena pulled back from Kate and finally began to clean her own outfit, albeit somewhat half-heartedly. “I don’t see why it should be,” she continued. “Romance is stupid.”
“Well, I wouldn’t call it stupid.”
“No. I’m right,” Yelena declared, leaving little room for discussion. “It is stupid, but parties are fun. I want a wedding. Let’s get married.”
“I. We can throw a party if you want. We don’t have to get married to do it.”
“But I want to get married,” Yelena clarified. “It would be fun. Come on, Kate Bishop. You can bring Lucky.”
“Are you trying to bribe me into marrying you by offering to invite my dog to my wedding?”
“Is it working?” Yelena asked, with a cocky smirk that made Kate’s throat tight.
“Wwwell…” Kate began, before shaking her head and cutting off the thought before she could say it. “No! Of course not. What if I want to date a guy? I can’t do that if you’re hanging off my arm as my wife.”
“I was told allos find forbidden love even more sexy,” Yelena declared. “You can have affairs with any woman you want. I won’t complain.”
“Well, I don't think... Wait. Why girls? I’m straight.”
“You are literally staring at my boobs right now,” Yelena replied, matter of factly.
Kate blushed and manually forced her gaze back up towards Yelena’s face.
“I’m just saying. Keep it in mind, da?” Yelena said, leaning over and kissing Kate on her cheek. “Then next time you go to a party like this, I can sneak in as your wife, not as a waiter.”
Without another word, Yelena turned on her heel and walked away.
Kate just downed the rest of her drink, quietly wishing the offer didn’t sound as tempting as it did.