Chapter Text
REBOOTING... REBOOTING... FAILED TO REBOOT, PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.
The LEDs had a faint glow, but the red hue wasn't very noticable. A gloved finger reached out and pressed a button.
REBOOTING... REBOOTING... FAILED TO REBOOT, PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.
The LEDs were brighter now, but it still wasn't enough to reboot it. The finger quickly shot into the button and pressed it once more.
REBOOTING... REBOOTING... FAILED TO REBOOT, PLEA-
The finger curled down into the rest of the gloved palm, joining in with the other digits. The fist reeled back, being supported by metallic supports. It waited... before striking the button right in the centre
REBOOTING... REBOOTING... REBOOT SUCCESSFUL. PLEASE STATE USER'S IDENTITY.
The fist lowered and unfurled, moving one of its gloved fingers towards the LEDs. It almost touched the lights, but moved down three inches and started tapping on the gold sheriff star in the middle of the machine. The rest of the fingers moved towards the star and grabbed it. Its other arm emerged from the shadows and grabbed the blue-painted metal torso underneath the star to hold it in place.
It began to twist the star. Twisting it to no end. Like a tornado. Like the world was about to end. Kept spinning and spinning... and then spun it the other way.
The hand kept spinning the star, swapping directions at seemingly random intervals. After the spinning possibly ended, it let go of the star and the torso. Both gloved hands went back to its sides as it stood up, patiently waiting for the LEDs to fully light up.
IDENTITY ACCEPTED. POWERING ON. WARNING: DON'T TURN MACHINE OFF DURING REBOOTING PROCESS.
It started with one small red LED on the left side of the screen, before spreading like a wave across the other LEDs, exploding with oranges and reds. It formed two circles, with a big white dot in the middle of both. Then the rest of it began to move.
Its set of gloved hands too moved as it stood up before the other one. The light from both of their LED screens barely illuminating eachother's spherical metal bodies.
At last, the one with the star began to speak.
"Where am I, sir? What happened?" it questioned its awakener.
"That is not important right now. What is more important is that your outdated software even worked."
"But I was programmed to believe that you had the same software as me."
"Same software? Do not make me laugh. No one can or will ever be equal to thee Heavy King."
"Goooood morning Sunset City! I'm Dave Pitt!"
"And I'm Sarah Claws, and today we're here to bring you today's news!"
SCN News was blasting on TVs all across Sunset City. Children and adults alike were always tuned in to the morning news. It was like a tradition in the city. And since it was a Saturday, there was a lot more people watching it than usual.
"Now Sarah, what's one thing you've been dying for all summer so far this year?"
"Oh I dunno, maybe some great warm weather?"
"Well I got some good news for you and everyone else living in this beautiful city, so can I get a goooood morning from the fine residents of Sunset City?"
The camera switched to a video of Sunset City citizens waving and smiling at the camera, saying good morning. As the screen zoomed out, more videos kept appearing all around eachother, sort of like a grid, everyone saying good morning right to the camera.
"Well then Dave, what's the good news you have to share?"
"That all of Sunset City will be experiencing clear and sunny skies for the next week, and the next, and the next!"
"Wow, Dave that really is great news!"
"Don't patronise me."
"Speaking of good news, I would like to report on the city's police force! For the past year since the war concluded, our city's police force has upped their game and caused the crime rate to go down from 73% to, get this, a whopping 0%! So expect a hassle free weekend, as well as a hassle free city for the foreseeable future!"
"That's even better, Sarah! For some unrelated news to round out this current section, the annual Studiopolis Smackdown event is taking place next week, and the multimillion ring S.O.O.P.U.R.M.A.X.X Prison opened its doors just a few hours ago, and has already been filled to the brim with prisoners!"
"There you have it folks! That ends this section of the SCN Morning News! I'm Sarah Claws, and now on to Polly the Parrot and Ted Yukki with Talk 2 Da Starz!"
And with that, the morning news ended and people all across Sunset City began going on with their weekend. Some kids were going to a baseball game, some adults were going to the harbour to go on a sailing trip. Didn't seem like anything could spoil this amazing day!
Right?
RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING...
Could... could someone get that please?
RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING...
Anyone?
RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING...
Thankfully all of our prayers were answered when a brown glove smacked the phone... off of a bedside table.
RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING...
"For Gaia's sake..." yawned a groggy voice from under a stained, withered away green blanket. The room had no lights turned on, besides the sunlight barely shining in through the stingy yellow curtains on the other side of the room. There wasn't much to see in the room besides the peeling beige wallpapers, the open suitcase with all of its contents spilt out across the stained shag carpet, and the mystery man who just woke up.
RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING...
He groaned as he heard the sound of his phone ringing. It wasn't even a cool custom ringtone, just the generic default one. The same gloved hand that smacked the phone off the bedside table was the same one that peeled away the blanket that clung to him.
RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING...
He slumped out of bed and onto the shag carpet, using his other hand to swipe at the phone, managing to grab it after the third or fourth attempt.
RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING... RIIIIIIING... RIIIIII-
He cleared his throat and answered the phone. "...G-G'day. Who is this?"
"Hey bud, don't forget to pick me and Bark up in three minutes. You organised this whole thing after all, so get to it!"
BEEEEEEEEEP...
"...Why'd he have to hang up so quick?" sighed the tired voice before raising his right knee and planting his foot firmly onto the carpet, then doing the same with his other leg as he held onto the bedside table.
This drowzy fellow was a jerboa, a purple one at that. He was pretty average height for a Mobian, not too distinguishable besides his giant tail that was even taller than him, slamming right into the ground at a right angle and coming up again, like an upside-down bridge. His muzzle was all white fur, same with a splotch on his stomach, pretty standard for jerboas. Can't forget one giant tooth that stuck out like a sore thumb.
"Alright... three minutes... not too bad. Small chance of being cactus, but eh," he mumbled to himself and turned towards the bedside table, seeing his long, brown boots lying beside them. He snatched them and pulled them on, also snatching a brown belt and brown gloves, putting both items on.
He then made his way to the curtains and yanked them open, before running over to the door, almost tripping over his suitcase sprawled out on the floor. He grabbed a peculiar looking fedora from a hatstand and opened the door.
DING!
The elevator doors slid open, now on the bottom floor. "Aight, time to get to work," he muttered under his breath as he rammed through the doors... they were automatic, so he fell over and into a puddle in the car park.
"Ourgh..."
With both of his hands, he pushed himself out of the puddle, his fur drenched as water dripped from his nose.
"C'mon man, I'm THE Fang the Hunter, surely I'd be more careful next time!" Fang groaned in annoyance. Great, now not only would he have to pick up the others, but he also had to do that drenched with dirty street water! He wiped parts of the water off of his face with his forearm and properly stood up.
"Alright... where's my Queenie?" he pondered for a second, before sticking one finger from either hand in his mouth and whistling one, continous musical note. Nothing happened after he whistled though. What was he waiting for?
GRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMM...
A loud rumbling sound, identical to that of a motorcycle, grew louder and louder soon after the whistle. And, to be honest, yeah, it was a motorcycle in a way.
A yellow-plated, bulky, hovering motorbike made its way down the road and right in front of Fang. It was sort of built like a raptor, if it had no legs and was completely rounded off at the bottom. It had blue thrusters on the side of it too, as well as two sidecars, one on each side.
"Oh, my beautiful baby!" Fang chuckled to himself as he saw the ride pull up on the curb right next to him, arms outstretched as he walked towards it, admiring the gleaminess of the hull. "Well, I only got... hmm," he looked down at his watch and a look of worry exploded all over his face.
"Well, ain't this standard practice for me! One minute left? I can do that in two... what?" he smirked to himself, but it seemed that not even he knew what he was yapping about most of the time.
He adjusted his fedora and vaulted over the side plates of his air-bike and into the driver's seat, his hands landing perfectly on the handles. He gripped them tightly and began to rev the engine. Did he forget to fill the engines again?
Clearly he remembered, because the vehicle shot itself into the air and started barrelling down the road, and away from the dingy motel that lay behind him.
"Out of the way you cyclist drongo! I'm tryna pick up even more lousy drongos!"
Fang was driving his ride on a long stretch of highway, recklessly. Rush hour, always the worst in big cities like Sunset City. Everyone was either going to work or coming back from the nightshift.
Just great.
Fortunately for him, his air-bike was small enough (and fast enough) to weave through the web of trucks and cars, allowing himself to get ahead of the other vehicles before traffic inevitably began to pop up. Unfortunately however, this was at the cost of visibility since his bike was also not big enough to see past the larger vehicles.
He still prevailed though, managing to go past some trucks, some cars, and narrowly avoiding hitting the ocasional cyclist (it would be an insurance nightmare!).
"C'mon! Move out of the way! If you're sixteen then just wait to be able to drive a car! Don't drive a tractor everywhere!"
Fang was experiencing serious road rage as he stared in horror at the tractor that drove at a snail's pace in front of him. It clearly wasn't for commercial purposes either. Nothing was connected to the tractor, there was no farmland for miles, and the guy driving it looked like a five year old!
The damn thing took up two lanes out of four! Also seemed that the driver wasn't paying much attention, which made sense considering the amount of cyclists that almost got turned into a faint stain on the asphalt below.
"...You gotta be kiddin' me..." Fang groaned as he realised that the tractor was NOT budging. Only four lanes on the highway, and two of them were for people going the other way!
That's when he had an idea. An awful idea. Fang had a wonderful, awful idea.
I mean, all he was going to do was overtake him... on the lanes going the opposite way. During rush hour.
He revved his engines and grinned, getting ready to put this hunk of junk behind him. "Here goes nothin'!"
The air-bike drove onto the lane right next to the tractor, which was specifically for vehicles going the opposite way of Fang. Since it was rush hour, there were plently of other vehicles going towards the jerboa.
In front of the air-bike was a truck bulrushing towards him, with giant labels on the tank it was carrying, for Splash Hill Water, some popular water company. Panic flashed across Fang's face. It was either die a horrible gruesome death with his guts and stuff spilled out in front of hundreds of people... or get stuck in traffic. Guess which option he picked.
He had to do this, and fast. There was an opening between the truck and the tractor, which was quickly closing for every second wasted.
He slammed his foot on the gas and revved his engines, dashing towards the opening, faster than the truck and the tractor. But would it be enough? The opening was just a metre across now. Could he do it?
He knew what to do. Fang held onto the clutch and began to lean far to the right, doing an INSANE drift. The front of the truck and front wheels of the tractor were neck and neck, practically touching. Thankfully for Fang, his drift let him slide throught the tiny gap, barely popping out from the now closed opening.
"Yessss! Wooo-hooo! Beat that, ya drongo!" he cackled, looking back at the tractor and sticking his tongue out. He revved his engines some more, probably to brag to the driver and go faster since he had less than thirty seconds left.
"Where do I pick him up again? A grocery store maybe?" Fang muttered to himself, as the guy on the phone wasn't very clear as to where to pick him or this 'Bark' guy up. He wasn't at the highway anymore, now instead driving at a casual pace down a street in the heart of Sunset City.
He was completely clueless.
That was until he felt his ride stoop down a little bit. It was as if the weight increased.
"Hiya chump!"
SCREEEEECH!
The air-bike screeched to a hault and Fang slowly but surely turned to his left to see who gave him the biggest fright of his life. He knew who it was the second he heard his voice, but he just wanted the visual confirmation.
"Bean... WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" Fang yelled at Bean, who was sitting in the sidecar off to his left.
"Relax! I just needed to make sure you weren't texting and driving at the same time!"
"I use a flip-phone!"
"And yet it still has an alarm function! Sorry for caring for our 'fearless leader'."
"Fearless? I like the sound of that!"
"For all of you at home, you can infer why I used those quotation marks, right?"
Seemed that Bean wouldn't stop running his mouth. Compared to Fang, he looked pretty different. For starters, he wasn't even a mammal! He was a bird, specifically a green woodpecker. He was around the same height as Fang, but not exact since he was a whole two centimetres taller than the jerboa. He had two head tufts pointing out from the top of his head, giving him a Woody Woodpecker-esque look. Not only that, but he was sporting the typical white gloves of a Mobian, as well as wearing some snazzy red sneakers. He also had a red scarf, which clashed pretty well with his overall aesthetic.
"...Where's Bark?" Fang asked the woodpecker, curious about the other one mentioned on their phone call some three minutes ago.
"Bark? He's at Ristar Gym! Practising for his big tournament, remember? Gotta be the best he can be at Studiopolis, y'know?"
"Oh... so just down third avenue and down thirty-fourth street," the jerboa mumbled, looking down at a little pop-up map by the air-bike controls. "But if I go down thirty-second I can skip traffic and go straight to third avenue and pick him up... but there's no telling if that flock of Flickies is gonna be there again... maybe thirty-fifth if that taco stand finally got shut down by a health inspector..."
Bean was just idly waiting for Fang to finish planning, but it was taking forever. Just drive, Fang. That's all you have to do, isn't it? Guess he forgot how to do that to.
"...Alright, I'm taking charge," Bean announced, hopping into the driver's seat, right next to Fang, and slamming down on the brakes, holding onto the handles. They were going in a straight line towards the gym. That includes the buildings, by the way.
"Hey! Knock it off, bomb-mook!" Fang pushed Bean to the side and regained control of the bike, but only for a little bit before Bean grabbed the handles and began to steer again.
"My name is BEAN! You should know this by now!" he snapped, pushing Fang back, swerving onto the curb and down into a seedy alleyway. Cockroaches were climbing up the walls, pipes were leaking sewage on them. Just horrible.
But, it was a shortcut after all.
"It's MY ride, so let ME drive it!"
"I should drive it! I don't take TEN YEARS to plan where to go, bucktooth!"
"Drongo!"
"Weasel!"
"Galah!"
"English, please?"
"Don't you know thirteen languages?"
"Gibberish isn't a language!"
The two were arguing on who should drive the air-bike, which wasn't a good thing when they were in such a tight space, that being the alleyway. The damned thing could barely go in a straight line under these conditions!
It just kept shaking from side to side, looking like it was about to explode.
"Hey! Watch the sideviews!" Fang called out to Bean, stalling their scuffle as he attempted to stabilise the vehicle by gripping the handles as tightly as possible and maintaining his centre of gravity. Bean wasn't doing that though. Instead, our green-feathered avian was trying to regain control of the bike, which just caused the right sideview mirror to bash into a leaky drain pipe, scratching it.
The airbike screeched to a hault (déjà vu, anyone?). With fire in his eyes, Fang slowly turned towards Bean. "D-...Did you j-just... scratch the Marvelous Queen?" Fang questioned the woodpecker, who was attempting to keep a far enough distance from the jerboa.
"Er-... n-no! The drain pipe did! Me? Break something? Do something wrong or controversial? Pfft, surely yo-you jest!" Bean reasoned, attempting to laugh the whole thing off. Would Fang believe his obvious trick?
"Bomb-mook... we'll sort this out later, capishe?"
"Okay, just keep driving then! I ain't stoppin' ya!"
"You LITERALLY JUST WERE!"
"Yeah, but I'm a changed man now! I got a family and everything!"
"Oh yeah because you can just do that in three seconds!"
"Yeah, I have instantaneousfamilyitis! Affects zero out of every ten Mobians!"
"Be quiet, Bean."
"Hey! You finally got my name right!"
The Marvellous Queen skidded to a halt by the curb in a dingy part of town, right on top of an empty paper bag with an overturned trash can right next to it. There was a building right in front of them, which was one of the cleaner buildings in the area, but still not great. It was a three star gym, which isn't bad but could be a lot better compared to all the luxury five star gyms further up Sunset City.
In big, solid letters, it said Ristar Gym just above then door, although you could only tell because there was a mark where the lower half of the 'y' used to be. Couple of stains on the outside walls, an exposed wire or two, and the mediocre pop music that was blasting from inside could be heard from outside the building.
"So... ya sure this is the right place, bomb-mook?"
"Yeah, it's what Bark told me!"
Fang hopped out of the driver's seat and began to carefully walk towards the front door. Carefully because he didn't want to dirty his shoes in the grease that was leaking from a nearby taco truck.
He made it to the double glass doors, making sure not to touch the cracked parts of the glass and pushed them both wide open. Immediately, he got hit with the smell of a musty carpet and sweat. Lots and lots of sweat.
"Excuse me! Are you waiting for someone?"
Fang's eyes darted towards whoever was speaking. He looked past the tiny reception desk and saw the receptionist, who was blowing a new wad of watermelon bubblegum every five seconds. She had her phone in her hand too. Probably scrolling Flicky or some another mindless social media platform.
"Uhh... oh, yes! I am!" Fang remembered, yanking himself to the desk, leaning on it with his elbow.
"Who?" she asked, very loudly chewing some bubblegum.
"Bark T. Polar Bear, duh doy!"
"Sorry sir, but I don't have Bark T. Polar Bear on the list here," she didn't even glance at the old monitor next to her or the clipboard right in front of her, just scrolled on her phone and chewed more bubblegum.
"...Yeah you do! I can see it right there!" Fang called out, snatching the clipboard and rapidly pointing to a name on the list.
"Sir, you asked for Bark T. Polar Bear, but it says Bark The Polar Bear on the list," she rebuttled, dully.
Fang's hands were shaking, scrunching up the top part of the clipboard as he stared at the receptionist with annoyance.
She stared back, eyelids low, chewing... chewing... chewing.
POP!
Watermelon bubblegum burst all over Fang's face, drenching his face in the pale, red goop.
The receptionist didn't seem to care either, she just sat there, scrolling on her phone.
"...I'm looking for Bark The Polar Bear."
"No bother, I'll call him out right away," she sighed, pushing against the desk, moving the chair towards the other side of the desk. She pushed her finger down on some button connected to the PA system and spoke.
"BARK THE POLAR BEAR TO RECEPTION, PLEASE!!!"
The cracked, glass doors to the main part of the gym swung wide open, with a thud from the person's head bumping the doorframe. It was a tall person, around the same height as Storm the Albatross, famous racer.
Unlike Storm, this guy was unknown. I mean so was Bean, but this guy didn't even say a word, ever!
"Scarf-mook, hurry up! We've been waiting for ages!"
"It's only been thirty seconds, sir," the receptionist piped up.
"Just shut up! Good Gaia, man! Do you ever stop runnin' 'yer mouth! You're just like Bea-"
"You were talking, boss?" Bean asked Fang, spooking the jerboa. How did Bean get behind him so fast? Was he there the whole time?
The tall figure sighed and opened the exit doors, holding them open for both Bean and Fang.
Looking closer, the tall figure appeared to be a polar bear, with a bit of a slump in his posture. He wore a red beanie which covered the top of his head, but let some tufts of fur and his ears stick out from underneath. He was wearing a thick, dark green scarf, but it didn't cover up his face in any way. His fur had a yellow tint to it, but just a tint. His gloves were a little bit similar to Fang's, having brown gloves with yellow on the fingers, wrapped up with a red string which kept the gloves on his hands instead of falling off.
He had bright brown shoes, with red and gray accents. Probably the most stylish out of the trio, but that's subjective.
"Thanks Bark!" Bean thanked his polar bear buddy as he began to walk towards the Marvelous Queen.
"Get in the ride already, you two!" Fang snapped at the pair, as if he was running late for something.
Bark exhaled and placed his hand on Fang's shoulder, looking down at him. He made some sort of grumbling noise when he did so.
Fang sighed and looked up at Bark. "Okay fine... I guess that the last one there's the rotten hooligan!" Fang called out, leaping into the air like a coil, using his tail at a sharp, acute angle to bounce towards the driver's seat.
Bean and Bark weren't going to just let that slide, however. Nah, they locked in.
Bark grabbed Bean by the feet, reeled his arm back, and tossed the woodpecker through the air, landing face first into his spot in the left sidecar.
"Thanks again, Bark!"
Bark wiped his nose and bulrushed past Fang and into the sidecar on the right. He lifted his hand up towards Bean, getting a high-five from the woodpecker as he smiled at Fang.
"...You... y'know what? Fine, guess I am rotten after all!" Fang chuckled as he vaulted into the driver seat of the Marvelous Queen, revving the engine and ticking a little dial on the HUD of the airbike. He adjusted his fedora and looked back at Bean and Bark.
"Alright, you mooks got everything ready?"
"Hey boss?"
"Yes, bomb-mook?"
"How about you call us by our actual names before asking for things?"
"Eh... I'll think about it, Bean."
"There ya go!"
Fang furrowed his eyebrows and groaned, slamming his fist down on the bike's HUD, which caused the Marvelous Queen to make a very unpleasant series of sputtering noises.
"Just... answer my question!"
"Okay fine, Fang. I got a box of matches, a pack of bubblegum... although I doubt we'll need that since there's still plenty on your face."
Fang looked up at the visible gum still on his fur and riiiipped it right off, taking some small bits of fur with it. He rolled the gum up into a ball and attempted to toss it into a nearby trash can, throwing it forward. Unfortunately for the jerboa, it was stuck to his hand, launching forward on a long gummy string but immediately coming back towards Fang's face.
"Here, I'll get for 'ya!" Bean sighed, reaching out towards Fang's forhead and riiipping off the ball of gum and flicking it from his hand and onto the road next to them.
Bark decided to finally answer Fang's query and pulled out an itty bitty clasp handbag, reaching his ginormous hands in and pulling out a little thing of dental floss and putting it back into the bag.
"Perfect! Looks like you two are all set!"
"What about you, boss? Are you prepared... especially after that mess last time?" Bean questioned the jerboa.
"Oh!" Fang remembered something and took off his iconic fedora. From underneath his fedora, his brown, gloved hands reached up to the tippy top of his head, grasping a... cork popgun? Didn't look like it'd do much damage, but I guess they need it?
"I always keep my beaut right under the hat! It's a uhh jerboa tradition!"
Fang awkwardly chuckled to himself, but it seemed that it wasn't very funny in the slightest. Rotten tomato this guy, now!
Fang sighed and looked at the bike HUD. He glanced towards the bottom right of the HUD, idolising a bright green button. One of his digits slowly reached forward and pressed the button, making a little bleeping noise.
From the HUD popped a little holographic GPS map, interactable by just touching the hologram. It wasn't very high-tech or expensive, which could be noticed by the dim olive hue and giant company watermark in the bottom left corner of the map.
"Okay... just gotta go left on fifty-second street... then take a turn onto tenth boulevard..." Fang began to plan, again... which clearly upset Bean, judging by his 'good-Gaia-I-need-to-get-him-to-drive' expression.
"Hey Fang?"
"Yeah, bomb-mook?"
"You're too slow!" Bean cackled pushing Fang forward a little, causing his foot to slam down on the gas pedal, launching the airbike forward with loud motor engine and sputtering noises. Bean was holding onto his seat for dear life trying to not fly away, while Bark was perfectly fine, since his massive stature prevented him from flying out of most vehicles.
"Gah! What was that for?!" Fang yelled, barely able to hear himself speak over the sound of rushing wind whizzing past his giant ears.
Bean steadied himself in his seat, sticking his head out of the sidecar like a dog. "You said that a big spoil awaits us! Why dillydally when we can get to the thing the audience really wants?"
And with that, the trio of hooligans were on their merry-way down another stretch of highway in order to collect (or steal!) whatever this 'big spoil' entaled. Was Fang telling the truth? What audience? Would they come out alive? Guess we'll have to wait and see, right?