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Jess pushed the door open lightly, the creak of the hinges barely audible. A soft beam of light spilled into the dim room, casting elongated shadows on the walls. The gentle intrusion roused Rory from her nap, her eyes fluttering open as she adjusted to the light. She stretched lazily, a contented sigh escaping her lips as she rolled over in bed.
"Hey, that took a while," she murmured, her voice thick with sleep. She watched as Jess slipped off his shoes and made his way toward her, the mattress dipping slightly under his weight as he joined her.
"Sorry about that," he replied, running a hand through his hair. "We kind of got caught up in the moment with the book again." He leaned back against the headboard, exhaling softly.
"Which one was it this time?" Rory asked, propping herself up on one elbow, curiosity lacing her tone.
"Dragons Love Tacos," he said matter-of-factly, a small smile playing on his lips.
"An all-time classic," she chuckled, the sound light and airy as it filled the room.
"I really feel I'm mastering all the voices now," Jess added with amusement.
"Well, you know that once you do, he'll move on to something else, don't you?" she teased, nudging his arm playfully.
"It's in the line of duty," he nodded solemnly, before leaning in to plant a quick kiss on her cheek.
"You're kind," Rory said softly, a warmth spreading through her chest. Jess rested his head on her shoulder, his breathing slow and steady.
"He's a great kid," he said simply, and for a while, they lay quietly together, the room wrapped in a comforting silence. Rory’s fingers found their way to his hair, absently caressing the strands.
"Jess... do you think about us having a child?" she asked suddenly, her voice barely above a whisper.
"We have a child," he corrected gently, his brow furrowing as he lifted his head to look at her.
"No, I mean like your own," she clarified, her gaze dropping to her hands as she twisted the corner of the blanket between her fingers.
Jess sat up, the bed creaking beneath him as he shifted his weight. "I'm not sure I'm following," he said, his expression puzzled.
"It's just..." Rory hesitated, searching for the right words. "You do such a great job with Ricky, and I was just wondering if you would like a child that is, you know, really yours." She avoided his gaze, the vulnerability in her voice evident.
Jess’s frown deepened as he looked at her. "He doesn't need to have my DNA to be mine, you know that, right?" he asked, his voice carrying a hint of defensiveness.
"Yes, I know. That's not what I meant," she said quickly, the words tumbling out in a rush.
"I love Ricky. I've been in his life since he was born. I've done the whole change diapers, wake up in the middle of the night, attend parents' meetings at preschool, and anything else you can think of. While I know I'm not perfect, I feel I've been doing a pretty okay job at that, and I intend to keep on doing it for as long as I am in your lives," Jess said, his voice rising slightly with emotion.
"More than okay. You're amazing with him, Jess," Rory said, her tone apologetic.
"So, I don't understand what's missing. I'm not going anywhere," he said under his breath, his eyes cast downward. The weight of her question seemed to press heavily on his chest. "You can count on me, Rory. Both of you."
"Jess, I know that. I'm so sorry that what I said made you feel that way. It's not what I meant at all," Rory said, reaching out to touch his arm, her throat tightening with emotion. "You know that, right?"
Jess took a deep breath, his shoulders rising and falling slowly. He remained silent, but Rory saw the subtle nod of his head in the dim light, a silent acknowledgment of her words.
"I'm overreacting. I'm sorry," he said quietly, standing up from the bed.
"Where are you going?" Rory asked, her worry evident.
"I'm not sleepy anymore. I'm going to read a little," he explained, moving toward the bookshelf. Rory's chest felt heavy, the tension between them hanging thick in the air. She couldn’t quite grasp what had triggered such a strong response from him, but she sensed that he needed space.
"Let's talk about this tomorrow, okay?" he added, turning to look at her. The concern in her eyes was unmistakable, and he offered a small smile in an attempt to ease her worry. "When we're both in the right mindset."
She nodded reluctantly, watching as he leaned in to kiss her forehead, a gesture of peace before he left the room. Rory lay back down, staring up at the ceiling, her thoughts swirling as she tried to make sense of the emotions that had surfaced between them.
x
The next morning, when Rory woke up, the room felt strangely empty. The warmth that usually lingered beside her was absent, and as her eyes fluttered open, she realized Jess was nowhere to be seen. She sat up slowly, the soft morning light filtering through the curtains casting a golden hue across the room. A sense of unease crept over her as she swung her legs over the side of the bed and padded softly to the kitchen.
On the kitchen table, a neatly folded note caught her eye. She picked it up, recognizing Jess's familiar handwriting. It read that he had taken Ricky and gone to help Luke with something for his mother and TJ. Rory’s eyes scanned the note multiple times, hoping to find some hidden clue about how he was feeling after last night’s conversation, but it gave nothing away. She sighed, placing the note back on the table with a sense of resignation, and reached for her phone.
"Hey, hun," came her mother's warm voice on the other end of the line, a comforting balm to Rory’s anxious thoughts.
"Hi, Mom. Did I wake you?" Rory asked, trying to keep her tone light despite the turmoil brewing inside her.
"No, not at all. Luke and I woke up early today. Liz and TJ apparently got into some trouble again," her mother said, her voice tinged with mild amusement.
"So I've heard," Rory replied, unable to keep the anxiety from creeping into her voice.
"Did you get a chance to talk to Jess yesterday?" her mother inquired, her intuition already honing in on the reason for the call.
"Sort of... it started off nice, but then I said something stupid, and we ended up having a fight," Rory admitted, her voice faltering slightly as she replayed the previous night in her mind.
"Oh, honey, that sounds bad. What happened?" her mother asked, her tone softening with concern.
"Well, Jess had just put Ricky to bed, and we were having a nice moment. So I decided to ask him if he wanted a child of his own..." Rory’s voice trailed off, the weight of her words hanging in the air.
"Oh boy," her mother interjected, her understanding of the situation immediate.
"Yeah, and he got defensive and said that Ricky was his, regardless of DNA," Rory continued, her voice laced with regret.
"Well, I gotta side with him on that one," her mother said gently, the words filled with empathy.
"I know, me too. I tried fixing it, but it was too late," Rory confessed, her shoulders slumping as she leaned against the counter.
"I'm sorry, kid. I'm sure you guys can solve it when you talk again today," her mother reassured her, the confidence in her voice soothing some of Rory's unease.
"I hope so..." Rory murmured, her eyes drifting toward the window, lost in thought.
"I know so. So, I take it you haven't told him yet, then?" her mother asked, her voice soft yet probing.
"Nope," Rory admitted, a pang of guilt surfacing.
"Everything is going to be fine, kid. Trust me. He's crazy about you. This is just a sensitive topic for him, you know that," her mother said, her words steady and comforting.
"Well, I never thought I'd see the day you would be defending him," Rory said, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips despite herself.
"What can I say? He got on my good side when he showed me what a great dad he is to Ricky," her mother replied with a light chuckle.
"He really is, isn't he?" Rory agreed, a soft warmth spreading through her at the thought of Jess with Ricky.
"Hey, do you want to come over? We can spend the day together while the boys save the world," her mother offered, her voice cheerful.
"Jess took the car," Rory said simply.
"Uh, even better. I can come over, and we can Dora the Explorer New York City. What do you say?" her mother suggested, her tone playful.
"Alright, sounds like a plan. Thank you, Mom," Rory said, her heart feeling a little lighter.
x
When Jess parked in front of the Gilmore driveway, Luke was already on the porch, sitting on the steps with his arms crossed, a faint smile playing on his lips. As soon as Jess killed the engine, Luke stood up and approached the car. Jess stepped out, and they shared a brief, firm hug. Luke leaned in through the open window, giving Ricky a warm wave.
"Hey, Ricky! Got a new train there?" Luke asked, noticing the shiny toy clutched in Ricky's small hands.
Ricky nodded enthusiastically. "It’s a bullet train, Uncle Luke! It goes super fast!"
Luke chuckled, "Nice! Maybe you’ll let me see it in action later?"
"Sure!" Ricky beamed.
Jess smiled faintly and leaned against the car.
"Jess, can we take your car? Lorelai’s is at Gypsy’s for repairs, and she took mine."
Jess nodded. "Sure. Where’s she off to?"
"New York, meeting Rory," Luke answered casually.
The mention of Rory sent a ripple of unease through Jess. The thought of Lorelai and Rory discussing last night’s outburst was not comforting, but he masked his apprehension with a shrug. "Alright."
He glanced back at Ricky. "Hey, Luke, mind riding in the back? Ricky could use some company."
"And I could use some of his," Luke grinned, opening the door and sliding into the back seat next to Ricky. "Ready to roll, little man?"
"Ready!" Ricky said, already setting up his train on the seat beside him.
As Jess started driving, he threw a glance at Luke in the rearview mirror. "So, what’s the deal this time?"
Luke sighed, leaning back. "You know Doula’s hit the magic age of fourteen, right? Well, Liz thinks she’s going through a phase—a rebellious one. She thought we could come over, maybe talk some sense into her."
"Rebellious, huh?" Jess's tone was neutral, though his fingers tightened slightly on the steering wheel.
Luke chuckled softly. "Yeah. You know, teen stuff."
"Huh." Jess’s response was terse, his focus returning to the road, but the silence in the car wasn’t heavy. Luke took it in stride, knowing Jess would speak when he was ready.
The rest of the drive was punctuated by Ricky’s animated chatter, showing Luke how his train worked, its wheels spinning as he made soft "choo-choo" noises. Luke played along, marveling at Ricky’s enthusiasm, while Jess remained mostly silent, his mind elsewhere.
When they finally pulled up in front of Liz and TJ’s house, Luke hopped out, immediately knocking on the front door. Jess took his time, carefully unbuckling Ricky and lifting him out of the car seat.
"Come on, champ. Let’s go see Aunt Doula," Jess said, setting Ricky down.
Doula burst out of the front door just as Jess reached the steps. She hugged Jess tightly, then scooped Ricky up into her arms, twirling him around. Ricky squealed with delight, his laughter filling the air.
"Hey there, Ricky! You’ve grown since I last saw you!" Doula teased, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
Jess’s eyes softened as he took in her appearance. Part of her hair was shaved, the rest dyed a vivid blue, and a shiny new nose ring glinted in the sunlight. Despite the changes, her bright smile and warm energy remained the same.
"Doula, what's going on?" Jess asked, his tone gentle yet brotherly.
Doula rolled her eyes dramatically, still holding Ricky. "Mom’s being impossible. You wouldn’t believe the drama over my 'lifestyle choices' as she says. Come inside; she’s dying to tell you all about it."
Jess smirked and followed her lead, glancing at Ricky, who was already fully absorbed in his surroundings, eyes wide with curiosity. Inside, the house buzzed with familiar warmth, the kind that promised a mix of chaos and comfort.
"Hi, baby. Look at you, you're so handsome," Liz cooed, gently cupping Ricky’s face in her hands, her eyes lighting up with a grandmother’s affection. She tilted her head, observing him closely, and then shifted her gaze to Doula, who stood holding the toddler with ease.
"Hey," Liz said, turning back to Jess, her tone more questioning now. "Why did you bring Rory's son here?"
Jess's jaw tightened. "He's my son, too, you know," he replied, his voice edged with defensiveness. He glanced at Luke, who watched the exchange carefully, his eyes narrowing slightly.
"I thought it would be nice for him to spend some time with his aunt and grandma," Jess added, his tone softening slightly but still guarded.
"Oh," Liz murmured, clearly taken aback by his reaction. She shifted awkwardly. "You're right, I'm sorry. Hi, Ricky, how are you?" she asked, attempting to recover, but the moment had already shifted.
Ricky buried his face into Doula’s chest, clutching her tightly. Doula, now fully engaged, gently rocked him, whispering soothing words. Jess reached over and patted Ricky’s head, trying to offer comfort.
Luke, sensing the tension, decided to redirect the conversation. "Where's TJ?" he asked, aiming for a lighter tone.
Liz sighed, grateful for the change in subject. "He's in the kitchen. Let’s go." She led the way, and they all followed her down the familiar hallway. "Honey, they're here," she called, stepping into the kitchen.
TJ looked up from his coloring book, a marker in hand, his brows lifting in mild surprise. "Oh, hi," he said, his tone casual as his gaze shifted around the group. His eyes landed on Ricky, and he frowned slightly. "Whose kid is this?"
Jess's patience snapped. "Mine. You've met him a million times," he retorted, his voice sharp as he reached out to lift Ricky from Doula’s arms.
"Oh, right. Rory's child," TJ replied with a grin, oblivious to the tension that rippled through the room.
Jess didn’t wait for any more comments. "That's it. I'm out," he declared, turning abruptly and heading for the door, Ricky still cradled protectively in his arms.
"Jess..." Luke and Doula called out simultaneously. They exchanged glances, both about to move, but Doula quickly signaled Luke to go after Jess, staying back herself to give them space.
Luke found Jess opening the car door, carefully settling Ricky back into his seat. "Jess," he called out, his voice calm but firm. Jess didn’t respond, continuing to buckle Ricky in, his movements tense. "Jess, what's going on?" Luke pressed.
"Nothing," Jess muttered, his voice clipped. "I'm just tired, that's all."
"Tired of what?" Luke asked, not letting up. "Jess, talk to me."
Jess finished fastening Ricky’s seat belt, still ignoring Luke’s presence. Luke, determined, took a step closer. "Oh, so, what now? You see your mom, and suddenly you start behaving like a child? Or are you jealous that it’s Doula’s turn to be the angsty teenager?"
"Just leave it alone," Jess snapped, his tone sharp and unforgiving.
"No, I won’t, and you should know better by now," Luke countered. "So, talk to me. What’s this about?"
Jess let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping slightly. "It’s not a sperm that makes a father," he said quietly, almost to himself.
Luke blinked, taken aback. "What?"
"Logan sees him, what? Two, three times a year?" Jess began, his voice bitter. "I spend every single day with Ricky. I make sure he’s taken care of, that he’s happy and safe and fed..." His voice trailed off, emotion thick in his throat.
"Jess, I know that. Ricky knows that, everyone knows that," Luke said, his tone softening, trying to reach him.
"Well, apparently, it's not good enough for him to be considered my son," Jess shot back, his frustration bubbling over.
"By Liz and TJ?" Luke asked incredulously. "Jess, Ricky is a great kid, and you do a wonderful job with him. Doula loves him, too. If they don’t want to be a part of his life, they’re the ones missing out. There’s nothing you can do about that."
"It’s not only Liz and TJ," Jess corrected, his voice dropping.
"Who else, then? I’m really lost here," Luke said, genuinely confused.
Jess exhaled slowly, as if bracing himself. "Last night, after I put Ricky to sleep, Rory asked me if I wanted to have a child of my own..."
"Oh," Luke said softly, his head dipping slightly as he absorbed the weight of Jess’s words. "I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that, Jess."
"She thinks I’m going to bail," Jess continued, the hurt clear in his voice. "She thinks I’m going to get fed up with playing house and leave, that I’ll eventually grow tired of raising someone else’s child."
"Did she say that?" Luke asked, his voice gentle, trying to keep Jess grounded.
Jess shook his head. "No, but it’s there. The question was enough."
Luke nodded, understanding the subtext. "Then you’re just speculating. What was so wrong about her question after all?"
"I’m not missing anything with Ricky having someone else’s DNA," Jess said, his voice firm. "And I’m not going to love Ricky any less just because there’s someone new in the house who happens to carry my genes."
Luke nodded again, seeing Jess’s conviction. "And you don’t want Ricky to feel like he’s second place just because the other child will have your name on their birth certificate or whatever."
Jess’s eyes met Luke’s, the vulnerability clear. "Exactly."
"So, I take it you do want another child, then?" Luke asked carefully, his tone probing but kind.
"Sorry?" Jess looked slightly taken aback.
"Well, in your whole speech, you’re talking about how this will affect Ricky, but nothing about simply not wanting another kid in the house," Luke pointed out.
Jess managed a small, tired smirk. "Who are you? Esther Perel?"
"She’s learned a lesson or two from me," Luke said with a proud smile. "I guess nobody has ever asked you before, but how did you feel when Liz told you she was going to have Doula?"
"What do you mean?" Jess asked, frowning.
Luke leaned against the car. "Well, you were an only child for a really long time. Your father left you as soon as you were born, and your mom did the best she could as an 18-year-old single mother. But of course, she needed help, so how did you feel when she got married again and decided to have another child?"
Jess shrugged, his expression unreadable. "I don’t know, it was weird," he admitted. "But it’s okay now. Doula is cool."
"That she is," Luke agreed. "Now, why don't I get Ricky and we go back inside. Your sister needs you now, Jess. I'm sure we can help her."
Jess agreed and they walked back inside, the house feeling a bit warmer now, like it was ready to embrace them with a renewed sense of understanding. Doula sat on the couch, looking out the window, her shoulders tense. Her piercing blue hair was the only thing that broke the calmness of her otherwise neutral expression, but Jess could tell there was something she wasn’t saying.
"Hey," Jess called softly as he sat next to her. "You okay?"
Doula turned her head, offering a half-smile. "Yeah, I’m fine," she said, but the lie was evident in her voice.
"Tell me what's going on, I want to hear your version first. That's what big brothers are for," Jess said, nudging her shoulder.