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“Would you mind repeating that? I'm unsure if I misheard you.”
“It is ritualistic drowning so that death might touch you, Domin.” Kibellah explained. She almost sounded reassuring.
Judith had heard her correctly, then.
Judith von Valancius was conducting her abulations when she requested the presence of the bladedancer, Kibellah. She wasn't entirely sure why she had asked to see her, only that she was growing more suspicious of mutiny after her time on the lower decks. She had hoped Kibellah might lend her some wisdom. Or protection.
But that had been an utterly misguided hope as Kibellah was now offering to drown her.
“Is it safe?” Judith asked, regretting her choice of words instantly.
“Safety would defeat the purpose of this ritual.” She stated, matter-of-factly. “Shut your eyes.”
After considering her chances of survival, Judith did as she was told.
She wasn't naive to the cruelties of her existence. She could easily be murdered most mortifyingly in her bath. Having been in the hands of knaves before, her hypervigilance had never left her. And what she had experienced thus far as a Rogue Trader had confirmed she was right for maintaining healthy suspicion.
Yet, in Kibellah's presence, Judith could not help but feel her nerves ease.
The surface of the water shifted and Judith heard, rather than saw Kibellah enter the bath. She could not see the blood that seeped from Kibellah's clothes. She would not have wished to.
A firm hand wrapped around her throat, the other carded through the roots of her hair. A warm feeling bloomed in Judith's chest as she was bent forward, the steam of the bath caressing her face.
And then she remembered why she was there at all.
Judith's eyes snapped open. The blood-curdled water swam into her vision just before she uttered, “Wait, stop-”
At first, it was calm. The warm water was almost pleasant as Judith held her breath.
The burn began in her chest. Her lungs, begging for air while she was submerged. The need spread to her throat, her face, her limbs. Every part of her singed as the last trace of air left her lungs.
Then came the panic.
Torture was no stranger to Judith, she had experienced her share of it when she was captured in her youth. But they had never drowned her. It was unlike anything she'd experienced. Her hands reached out, desperately grasping for something that could save her. All she felt was Kibellah.
Fingers traced the scarred wrist that held her below the water's surface. When light flashed across her eyes, Kibellah lifted her.
“Embrace the Undying One.” Her even tone commanded. Again, Judith was submerged without time to catch her breath.
She tried to calm herself, relaxing her muscles in Kibellah's grip. It didn't stop her survival instincts from taking control.
Again, she sputtered and writhed beneath the water, losing her footing on the tile as she did so.
Kibellah raised her again. “Domin, you are familiar with death. Do not shy from what you know.” Kibellah's words droned. And Judith thought it could be the loss of oxygen, or perhaps her imagination, but she sensed a fondness.
With a splash, Judith was plunged back into the water. She released the grip on Kibellah's wrist and dug her nails into her palms instead. Her knees ached against the tile floor. Judith tried compartmentalizing her pain; to focus on what she could control rather than what she could not. But again, the cold pang of terror caused her to react.
Her mouth opened in a silent scream, causing the water to flood her throat.
Once more, her head breached the surface. Judith was disoriented, the exertion of fighting against the suffocation was taking its toll on her as she slumped in Kibellah's arms.
“Domin, you are nearly there. Open yourself to-”
Judith sputtered, water spraying from her lips. “No more, please.” She all but sobbed.
Kibellah knelt down beside her, a flash of concern gracing her features. “It is almost done. Will you trust me once more?” She asked, relinquishing her hold on the Lord Captain.
Judith's chest rose and fell with her heaving breath. Her skin was tinged red with the angry vessels that had flared under the abuse of suffocation. And despite Judith's pounding headache, burning innards, and total exhaustion- she nodded in agreement.
Why she felt it so necessary to complete this task, Judith hadn't the faintest clue. It was unlike her to be so reckless with her life. After everything she had endured, she couldn't comprehend why she put her trust into the death cultist's hands.
“I'm ready.” Judith regained her posture, letting Kibellah push her down once more.
This time, Judith did not fight. She let the water take her breath, her sight, her life. Darkness consumed her, encroaching on not only the space before her, but Judith felt it in her very being. She was being absolved of the burdensome sin of life. Finally, Judith understood what Kibellah was trying to show her. She felt it in the temple of the Blood Spun Web, the presence that anointed her as the ship's essence.
The Emperor was with her now, blessing her with death.
Judith awoke, she did not know how much time had passed, only the sensation of arms around her. The water surrounding her reminded her of the events that had transpired.
“Am I-?” She asked, unsure what exactly she meant to say.
“Alive, Judith. You are alive.” Kibellah's usual tone took on a note of care. The fingers that had gripped the roots of Judith's hair were now carding through it, tangling every so often with the damp locs. “What did you see?”
“Nothing at first,” She answered. More sensation returned to her and she noticed her arms were wrapped around Kibellah's frame. “I saw nothing and then… more like a feeling. That I was being recognized, like I had been there before in oblivion.”
Kibellah hummed in approval. “You have. Before your birth, and one day you will return. It is a blessing that you have crossed the threshold before the Undying One beckoned you.”
They sat in the serenity of the bath for a moment. Judith pondered on why she had requested Kibellah's presence in the first place- protection. Even on the brink of death, she felt that she had never been so secure in her life.
“Kibellah, thank you. For showing me this, and for your company.” Judith tightened her hold on the girl. As she pressed against her, she heard her steady heart beating faster.
“Of course, Domin. It was my honour.”