Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

I haven’t seen the sky in ages. It felt like a miracle that I had the chance to see the clouds again; It felt impossible to escape the megalopolis that is Utopia, so the times that I could felt like a godsend. My head antennae flowed in the wind like ribbons as I stood by the outskirts. The horizon line free from any jutting skyscrapers, it held an expansive desert instead. Though, I softly winced at all of the littered, slanted, and abandoned structures in the far distance. Those are the old civilizations I raised and then destroyed with my own bare hands, I knew this. It had my fingerprints riddled all over the jagged edges. The sand had been eating them up for a while now. I couldn’t help but drop my shoulders as I gazed onward. I thought about all the ideologies I’ve tried to cultivate into a proper society, god, I’ve tried everything. From all sides and angles; to great extremes and deliberate balances. I’ve tried anything that could make a society chug like the machine it is. 

I began to walk down the long highway. This tapered away from Utopia and straggled its way down into the nothingness of the sand. This used to be part of a megastructure of highways, bustling with cars I deliberately handcrafted. I sighed through my teeth, the eyes within drooping their lids, as I turned my head towards the endless horizon lines. Even away from all the constant bustle, I could still feel this restlessness. Maybe I needed to keep walking; maybe I just needed to run from Utopia for a little bit. I moved my paws up towards my lapels to adjust them, adjusted my cuffs, and then fixed the position of my tie. Perhaps a suit isn’t the best thing to wear in a desert, even with the fresh breeze. I found myself fidgeting with my paws as I now trudged through the sand. The current Utopia I had cultivated was going as fine as it could yet, just thinking about it, I realized the speckles and blotches of mistakes written all over it. My antennae fell slightly as I continued to think. 

No, no, I know I’m worrying now. I could feel it in my chest, in my forepaws; it was spreading and surging across my whole body. I could already feel the anxious sweat beading on my forehead. I really wanted to make something right for once. Trying to create something perfect is impossible, but I still wanted to try anyway. I’m Anxiety incarnate, most of what I do turns into disaster. I began to hate the sensation of moving through all of this sand and spotting the ancient debris I knew I created, but I knew I needed to stay grounded. Last time I flew through this place, I found myself eloped in trying to recover something that just couldn’t be. I wouldn’t want that to happen again. But, all of this kept tying itself back to my Utopias. I don’t want this one to fail as horribly as the others, but I had this horrible, sneaking suspicion that it’ll be the worst one yet. I huffed and puffed as I staggered up a dune, nearly falling over and coating my clothing in sand. My hands shivered as I fidgeted and I couldn’t help but dart my eyes across the great horizon. 

At the summit of the dune, I let out a groan as I placed my paws down onto the tops of my knees, somewhat kneeling. I stared down at the sand as I felt drops of sweat fall from my face. My thoughts were already racing. It felt pathetic of me, a creator and destroyer, to be stumbling across dunes. I’m weak like this, a bumbling fool. Before my breath could hitch at the festering notion, I took in a deep breath and straightened up. I needed to collect myself, get myself together. I had a Utopia to lead and someone to wait for. As I lifted my head back up, I noticed how close to the edge of my realm I was at. Surprised I had walked for so long, I glanced backwards for a moment. I lightly gulped down a soft gasp at the spectacle of the sprawling Utopia being a near speck in the horizon line. I then looked back towards the edge of my domain. As I gazed at it, it took a second for me to register, but I caught sight of something. I inched my way closer to this detail of the edge…

Was that? Oh god. That’s not normal, is it? No. No. It shouldn’t be doing that at all. I squinted hard at it, but my eyes soon widened in horror. I took a couple staggered steps backward as my heart began to race. Oh lord, this shouldn’t be happening, this shouldn’t be happening, what do I do? I hightailed it out of there, kicking up sand with my loafers as I sprinted. I desperately needed to get back to Utopia to tell Creation. Something’s gone horrible, terribly, terrifyingly wrong and I needed to tell him. I didn’t care if I was wheezing, I had no choice but to pick up speed if I wanted to get the message across to him. I couldn’t think of anything else but that despite how much my body began to ache. I shot through the deserts and dunes like a bullet; I ran the best I could. My mind was running as fast as my body and I only bolted harder as I saw Utopia nearing me. Yet, my legs suddenly buckled and, in seconds, I got a mouthful of sand. I skidded for a couple more of those seconds. Thankfully, I fell right before the highway… and as my skidding stopped, I could feel my head hit the asphalt. As I got up, I spat the sand out my mouth and coughed. I quickly stumbled back up and started running again. I could care less about the sand all over myself at the moment. As I zoomed into the cityscape and into the offices, some denizens looked on in shock and confusion at my urgency. Especially the ones in the office after I sped through the lobby.

“Boss!” One exclaimed, sitting up from her office chair. 

“Are you alright!?” Another, in a suit and tie, exclaimed, seeming to chase after me for a second. 

I clamored through the office too swiftly to hear more of what they were saying. Out of breath and coated in sand, I nervously smiled at my creations as I reached the elevator. My paws panicked before I simply, and rapidly, punched at the elevator buttons. 

“I’M FINE!” I loudly blurted out as my antennae stood at their ribbony ends, “I’M OKAY, I’M FINE, IT’S FINE, JUST USUAL… ANARCHIC BUSINESS!”

As I got into the elevator, I rushed in and desperately pressed at the button that led to the top floor, where my office resided. The doors slid closed as I averted the awkward gazes of the citizens, but the moment I was out of sight and on my way up, I tugged at my antennae and murmured wildly while I paced around the tiny metal box.
Thud thud thud thud thud thud. 

My stomping footsteps thudded against the elevator floor and it easily heaved me up to the top anyways. God, what an embarrassment I was doing that, but there’s more pressing matters. Much bigger matters to worry about. I attempted to brush off most of the sand off of my suit, but I know it was no use. I just shook off what I could as the elevator doors opened. I took a staggered breath as I sped-walked out into the hallway and through a door or two to enter my office. It had a wall of glass that had a beautiful view of the sprawling Utopia. My elaborate desk faced this beautiful scene, full of papers, both blank and full of letters, a black coffee mug, pens, a lamp, a clunky phone, and my handy typewriter… All the usual office desk appliances. I sighed wistfully at the view as I jostled more sand off of my clothing and shoes. I plopped down into my comfortable office chair. It was good for the back, I’ve heard. As I shifted myself closer to my desk. I urgently, in a somewhat nimble motion, moved to set up the typewriter and my desk. I ignored all things, even at the curious knocks at my office door, as I typed. 

Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap - CLICK! Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap… 

Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap…

Elegant music, Classical, rang sweetly through the halls today. The bowing of distant violins, the strum of harps, and the taps of piano notes were a soothing sound to hear ricochet through this grand palace of mine. My robes gracefully grazed the marble floor. My many hands gently clung to the purple fabric, keeping it close to my body. I reached one blue-skinned hand out to lightly caress the wall’s edges. I looked up from my empty sockets to view my faint reflection within the many framed paintings that scattered this gallery I resided in. My head’s halo of colors, shining humbly, caused admirable refractions of light against these golden frames. I couldn’t help but adore it. I continued to faintly brush my fingertips across these frames. Yet, my hollow-eyed gazes kept wandering back into the art pieces themselves. I knew it mattered not how many times I created or in what ways I did. I felt contentment in my heart alongside a pang of wistfulness. I took in a breath as I kept on walking at a snail’s pace just to admire the endless cascades of art that graced these walls. Most of my days have been spent painting this grand mural; this magnum opus I have been weaving has been tumultuous work. I thought to myself as I slowly parted my fingers from my framed work and moved myself into the middle of the long hallways. My mind remained still and resolute, there was much to do tonight. With color in abundance in my kingdom, I felt the need to celebrate. Alas, my mural held itself steadfast in my mind. Perhaps that could be a gift to my realm? 

I neared the cusp of the lobby when I heard a familiar flutter of butterfly wings. As I entered the lobby and stood at the top of the stairs, a Butterfly Guard came to greet me, holding an envelope in their gloved hand. 

“Creation,” They addressed me, “Your Highness, A message from Anxiety.”

“Anxiety?” My voice hummed out his name with a dash of confusion. 

I released two hands from my robes, slightly revealing my collarbones and flurry of butterfly wings underneath, to reach and take the letter with ease. It held a remarkable amount of creases and bends, as if it had been jammed into something multiple times. Typical of him, I thought with a faint, nonexistent smirk, yet, I have never gotten a letter from Anxiety for what has felt like millennia. I looked down at the dark green envelope with curiosity.

I nodded, plainly speaking, “Thank you, Guard, return to your duties…” 

The Butterfly Guard gently fluttered the wings atop their head before nodding and moving back down the stairs. As the clicks of their heels rang across the open lobby. I peered down at the envelope while carefully opening it. 

Inside, it reads in Palatino Font; A strange amount of words were sloppily crossed off by pen, as if he was in a rush to fix his errors:

 Dear Creation, Addressing Creation, 

There is are great, urgent, dire matters we need to discuss! Something horrible is occurring between our realms that we really need ought to try and, attempt to fix! There is barely any time to waste, and I surely hope this letter comes to you safely and swiftly because I am distressed at the developments I have found! There is sand from my desert seeping into the abyss between your world my realm and yours! Please, if you find even a grain of greenish sand on your waters, soil, stone, or ANYTHING in your realm, we must convene and try to stop this strange phenomena from worsening. I have the most horrible feeling about this… 

I took my eyes off of the rest of the words as I walked, a little faster this time, calmly down the other hallway towards my personal chambers. It was a trip that took little thought, for I was honed in on Anxiety’s peculiar news. I must write back to him on this occurrence and soothe him. He truly must not be this serious.

I entered my lavish personal chamber to sit down at my vanity desk. As my halo’s colors refracted prism-like colors across the mirrors, I tilted my skull-like head down at aged paper. I took multiple hands out from my robe to nimbly adjust the desk for me to start writing. Once the lightly bronze-colored paper laid flat on my desk and my feather pen and ink was ready, my many blue hands retreated back into my robe. Only two, one holding the paper down, and the other holding and dipping the feathered pen into ink, remained to go to work. I wrote away, cradled by a brazen creation of mine.