Work Text:
It was just another regular day in the office. You were carrying a dark green envelope rife with paperwork from the work hours through the catacombs of office cubicles. You glanced at the workers grueling away at their computers; you let out a sigh of familiarity to the monotonous labor they reflected. It was a busy shift as it usually was. It was just routine to hear the clicks and taps of shoes and heels down the hallways. You, yourself, were in masculine business formal attire, adorned in all shades of green. Well, Everything was in this realm, but that was quite irrelevant compared to the mountains of work you knew you had to get to. You may have been identical to all the other, faceless beings in this office, but you were driven with a great purpose, right? No matter.
Your task was quite an important one today. You were bringing paperwork, data, to the penthouse-like office of Anxiety. You had to double check the date to ensure you weren’t losing your mind! Anxiety, who was technically the CEO of the establishment, was the big man of the house. More than just the big man, but also the creator of the entire realm. He handcrafted the building you stood in. The thought of his sheer power intimidated you into a sweat as you neared the elevator. You could gently feel the pounding of your heart beneath your tie as you called the elevator down with a press of a button. You began to wonder how this would go, for truthfully, you’ve never really seen Anxiety face-to-face. If anything, he was more like a rumor that permeated the atmosphere. Yet, even then, from what you’ve been told, you were a part of him. Everyone within the realm was a piece of him. As comforting as that meant to be, it only confused and uneased you for an inexplicable reason.
You were so lost in thought that you jolted at the ding of the elevator opening up at the top floor. With a heaved sigh, you entered the floor. Oddly, the atmosphere seemed to shift as you exited; it felt like a foreboding air swept through the doorway. A dread entered your head as you clutched your paperwork to your chest. Why were you so swiftly unnerved? You couldn’t easily identify it yourself! By now, you just wanted to find Anxiety’s office and make it a quick venture. You resisted the urge to speed-walk down the halls and carefully stepped past multiple closed doors. These were where much of the higher authority of the establishment resided. They were given their own, lavish offices. You itched to peek through the foggy glass to see inside one of these places, adorned with their own nameplates, but you refrained. Even if curiosity peeked through all the dreading fear, it was easily smothered by the need to be back in familiarity. You urgently yearned to be back in your personal cubicle… where all the cute cat posters you owned hung up comfortably.
Yet, you couldn’t fight or flight your way past this task. You reached the end of the hall, and after some confusing twists and turns, you ended up sweating bullets in front of the CEO’s office. It was such a confusing scenario. You were just a simple office worker, a messenger bird even, chosen to deliver data of the Utopia’s inner workings. You took in a deep, shaky breath, questioning why you, of all employees, were chosen to do this. It was as though you had forgotten about that promotion through all the emotion you were feeling.
You hesitantly reached out for the doorknob, then stopped.
You feigned from trying to enter without knocking, so you reached your knuckle out to the glass of the door…
And knocked.
…
There was barely a response. You knocked again.
You chuffed out a sigh to build up the courage. You couldn’t just awkwardly stand there forever and you knew this. Puffing out your chest, you decided to turn the doorknob, open the door and enter.
You were immediately hit with a beautiful, wall-wide view of Utopia. Dirty greens and blacks painted the sight like a mural, but…
What was more concerning was, when you moved your gaze to the lavish desk that faced it, the mess you saw. Papers laid strewn across the desk and floor, books opened up recklessly on different pages, and…
You heard this latent, heavy, but furiously rapid breathing under the desk.
You squinted for a moment as you cautiously peeked to see from a distance and…
“Oh god, oh god, oh god, don’t look at me!” Anxiety spluttered aloud urgently through bated hyperventilation as he stayed curled up in a fetal-like position against the inner side of the desk, “Not like this, please, not like this.”
A wave of panic hit you. You just waltzed right into Anxiety’s office and this is the first thing he tells you. Yet, even then, you had no idea how long he’s been in this state! You staggered backwards, your back faced the door, and took in a shaky breath. Your nails dug into the paper-filled envelope. You could hear Anxiety whimper there as you disappeared from his line of sight. Regardless of your immense fear of the situation, you felt called to do something about this. You darted your eyes everywhere for a place to set down the paperwork, but in a fit of adrenaline, you just dropped it to close the door behind you.
“A–” You could barely get your words out all too properly, “Anxiety?”
You could hear the hyperventilating waver for a moment in response. If you listened closely, you could maybe even hear the clattering of his teeth. You gently approached for a moment before stopping.
“Do you…” You paused to swallow, “Do you want to be left alone right now?”
“No.” He croaked out with a horrible tremble in his voice, “I don’t know, I’m sorry, you probably have work! Haha…”
You could hear the wavering, animalistic panic in his throat even if you couldn’t see him. It was a shock to hear him laugh in such a condition. It was a broken record sort of tune; It popped with cracks and shivering notes. You slowly, carefully moved to sit down beside the frame of the opening. And through the wheels of the office chair, you could see Anxiety in his panicked state.
He looked despondent; his many eyes, speckled across his dark, blackish-green skin like acne, were wide and alert like a dying animal. His gazes followed your every move with a vigilance and it almost made a shiver shoot up your spine. His jaw was clenched, hiding the eyes within his mouth, and his teeth faintly clattered. He was trembling like a baby bird… you couldn’t help but pity him, but it would be like pitying yourself in a way. An odd thing to do.
But, it was surreal to see an emotion of such high status to be so vulnerable in front of you! You caught yourself from staring for longer and averted your gaze to look past him.
“Uhm, I…” You awkwardly started, “if anything, I should be sorry, I didn’t know you’d be…”
“You’re fine!” He attempted to heave in a deep breath, but only managed more shivering words, “I promise, no one usually knows that I do this– Please don’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t! I won’t, uh–” You blurted out, gesturing gently to him, “I promise, you’re safe with me.”
Why did you even say that? You barely even felt all that comforted in front of THE incarnation of Anxiety, but you didn’t want to admit that. But, regardless of how you felt, that seemed to make him relax slightly, or at least, try to. Your mind buzzed with thoughts you couldn’t easily catch through all their racing. For some odd reason, your chest constricted in his presence; you almost felt the exact same way he did. You took in a deep breath and he followed suit in sync. You noticed this detail with a sensation of disturbed curiosity. Your eyes widened slightly at it and the both of you glanced at each other for a fleeting moment.
“As.. long as I’m safe.” He murmured more to himself than you, “Everything’s okay, I’m safe. You’re safe.”
“Yeah.” You gently reassured, “This feeling will go away soon– Just keep breathing with me.”
His breath hitched from time to time, yet as time passed, it fell more and more in rhythm with yours. This meant, as he seemed to gently fall back into a calmer state, he began to finally talk a little more clearly with you. The two of you fell into a conversation.
“I can understand that…” you nodded to him, “It must be so hard trying to balance all of that.”
“It is! It really is…” Anxiety continued with a faint, nervous laugh, “Today has been such a hectic day! So much work, so little time.”
“I can empathize,” you said, “I mean, I was so nerve-wracked at the idea of doing something wrong throughout the day.”
“Exactly! Same here! I have such a reputation to uphold!” Anxiety exclaimed back with a wild gesture as his mouth opened up wide enough to reveal four of the eight eyes inside.
“A reputation is one way to put it…” You mumbled back to him.
He sank back into the corner of the desk in a half-sulk, “So many of you must be so scared of me…”
He let out a sigh…
“I just want to do everything right. I don’t want to seem like I don’t care, because I do. I care more about this Utopia than I know how to show it.”
Your eyes softened slightly at this statement as you watched his eyes dart around you.
“You’re one of my cherished citizens… I have to show you humanity, don't I?” he softly spoke as he fidgeted with his paws. His four antennae perked up faintly toward you as they flowed in the air like ribbons in zero gravity.
“Don’t you… already do that?” you asked back, an air of confusion bathed in your breath.
“I don’t think I do it enough…” He sighed in return as he lowered his head, “Not with the visage I have.”
You let out a chuckle in the moment. You were surprised he found himself thinking like that. Yes, he was a monster, but… he was such a human monster.
“I personally think you do more than enough.” You started, “Far more than you should! You built this place from the ground up and you still labor away every day and night to maintain it. Have you ever checked in on maintaining yourself? Taking breaks?”
“Well?” Anxiety started to retort but then faltered into a momentary silence, “I guess I haven’t done that as much as I should…”
“Things are only going to get worse for you, therefore, all of us, if you don’t step back and let things.. breathe for a moment?” you suggested gently, a hand gestured toward him in an offer.
“Uh!” He perked up as he noticed your hand, “You have a point but–”
He trailed off as he slowly took your hand to climb out from under the desk.
You were quick to notice his stature as he straightened from his curled spot. He was tall… about 6 feet at the most, but a little on the heavier side. He wore a quality, black and green pinstripe suit. He was still a little on the shaky side, but Anxiety seemed much calmer than he was before.
He looked at the paperwork you had dropped on the floor not so far from the door.
“It’s not like I can exactly stop working,” he continued, “Utopia needs constant upkeep, does it not?”
He moved to gather strewn papers from the floor with a groan while one of his two tail tentacles outstretched itself to pick up your envelope of paperwork. You marveled at him for a moment. A feeling of awe overcoming the intimidation for a second as you kept to yourself.
“I’d argue it’s…” you paused to glance at the room-wide glass window, “it’s quite self-sufficient regardless of the maintenance it needs.”
Anxiety, as he organized his desk with a grumble, looked over to you with a concerned look.
“I supposed it is?” Anxiety said, “I guess I just feel this overbearing responsibility.”
“I can understand why…” you sighed, “Will you be okay on your own now?”
Anxiety jolted with a realization.
“Oh, OH!” He exclaimed, “Oh my goodness, you still have your shift!”
“It’s not a big problem…” you murmured to him.
“No, no, no,” he insisted as he ushered you to the door, “Please, [y/n], you must go back! Just tell everyone that there was… some sort of big discussion or something!”
“Ah?” You stammered, “But, really! I–?”
You blinked in shock at your name coming out of his mouth. You didn’t even know that he’d know it, if you were being honest with yourself. Your gaze shot to him in surprise as you skidded to a stop in front of the door. He was quite strong to be able to clamor you over with such ease.
“I’ll be sure to repay you, I promise! But, I beg of you, act like this didn’t happen!”
You moved to retort, but with a couple, gentle taps of your back, you found yourself frazzled on the other side of his office door.
You heaved a breath…
You fidgeted with your tie and gulped.
Guess this Utopia wasn’t as predictable as you initially thought.