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Dating in 2013 was way different then dating in the 1940's. Steve Rogers was discovering this the hard way.
Darcy Lewis was a different girl in a different time and Steve hadn't a clue on how to woo the women. If she hadn't asked him to the ball, or kissed him after the ball Steve probably wouldn't have even noticed the girl's affections.
"This shouldn't be this difficult!"
"What shouldn't be difficult?" Steve didn't even try to hide his surprise at Clint's voice.
"I... I don't know how to date." Steve was sure he was blushing bright red and his suspicion was confirmed by the amused look on Clint's face.
"Well you’re a fine piece of ass, so you don't have to worry about what you look like." Clint was circling Steve, his sharp eyes calculating every inch of him. It was slightly unnerving. "You two obviously share a physical attraction. I mean you're... you, and you would have to be blind to notice Darcy's curves."
"Does this mean you're going to help me?" Steve wasn't a desperate man, but he obviously needed dating advice. Things with girls were a lot different now.
"Hell yeah I'll help ya Cap!" Clint was rummaging around for a pen and paper. When he found them he began to write what looked like a list of some sort. "I'm good at this romance stuff. Like Yoda at romance I am."
"Who is Yoda?" Clint rolled his eyes and muttered something about picking out the next movie for movie night.
"Just follow the list, and ask me if you need any more help."
...
Clint Barton's List on How to Get the Girl
1. Find something you have in common with her, it helps with conversation and activities.
2. Chivalry is not dead! Open doors, help with heavy lifting, she'll appreciate it.
3. Small gifts are always nice; they let you know you care.
4. Impress her with your wild side! Showcase your sexier talents.
5. Have hot and wild sex all night. ;D
...
"Let me guess, Clint's infamous list failed." Natasha's statement couldn't be more of an understatement; the whole thing was a disaster.
Trying to find something he had in common with Darcy was hard because he was behind in seventy years of culture. What stuff he had managed to learn he had apparently missed the point of it completely. Darcy had even compared him to her grandfather; it was more than just a little embarrassing.
Chivalry wasn't an old concept to Steve; he just thought continued doing what he always did. Clint had suggested to step it up and go the extra step. So when they went on a coffee date after it rained and Steve had layer his jacket down over a puddle, he wished a hole would just swallow him up when she yelled at him about ruining leather.
Small gifts had worked at first, but when Darcy told him that she felt bad that she couldn't afford to give him anything in return. Steve felt guilty.
Steve didn't have a wild side, and he was a traditional sort of guy so he thought maybe having sex should be out of the picture for a while. With the way things were going he wasn't even sure they would get that far.
"Clint means well, but the last time I checked Phil was a man, and that list has never worked." Natasha was smiling ever so slightly like she was trying not to laugh.
"Yeah, probably should have thought of that. I guess I'm getting desperate here." Steve hated admitting defeat, but a good soldier knew when to retreat.
"I have a plan."
...
Natasha's plan had also gone to hell; apparently assassins didn't know how to date.
When asked, Bruce had told Steve he was just as bad at dating if not worse. Thor had told him to slay a mighty beast and offer the 'fair Darcy' the beast's head.
Steve stayed far away from Tony; nothing good could come out of that advice. Pepper was a one of a kind and only a one of a kind gal could be with Tony Stark.
All hope seemed lost.
...
Captain Steve Rogers,
Whenever I deal with a new relationship I always find being myself works out the best. Nothing is more attractive then honesty.
Just tell her how you feel.
Best of luck,
Agent P. Coulson
PS - Darcy's a sucker for cheese pizza, I've enclosed a secret family recipe, tells anyone and they will never find your body.
...
"So after the disaster that was following everyone's advice, someone told me to just be myself."
"This explains so much." Darcy was smiling fondly and Steve felt himself blush all over again. At least she wasn't laughing anymore.
"Well I'm glad He Who Shall Not Be Named and Makes Great Pizza could get your head screwed on right." Darcy leaned in for a small kiss on the lips and snatched the last piece of pizza off of Steve's plate.
"I understood that reference."
"Well good, this would have never worked out if you haven't at least seen Harry Potter."
"I'm almost done reading book five. I’m afraid I’m a bit obsessed with the series." Part of making sure Steve understood the times were to make sure he was up to date on pop culture.
"You are the man of my dreams."
...
Phil,
Thank you again for the advice. I honestly don't know why I was so worried. Also, the pizza was beyond amazing; the recipe will be safe with me.
Thanks again,
Steve
PS- In exchange for the pizza recipe I'm giving you the recipe to my mother's famous lasagna. I can't make you disappear but I do have super strength.
fin